Dwell Hello #524: From Brooklyn to the Beach

Summary

Watch What Crappens — “Dwell Hello #524: From Brooklyn to the Beach”

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: November 27, 2025

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Episode Overview

Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam bring their signature blend of praise, mockery, and affection to recap Dwell Hello’s final episode, which features two Italian-American sisters, Lorraine and Christine, searching for a beach home in Cape May, New Jersey. The episode is a hilarious and affectionate sendoff to the House Hunters–style spin-off, highlighting sibling dynamics, Italian-American family eccentricities, and the eternal quest for mommy’s backsplash and “the boys.”

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Key Discussion Points & Segment Highlights

1. Dwell Hello Farewell and House Hunters Legacy

• [01:08–03:11] The hosts reflect on the Dwell Hello journey, counting episodes and reminiscing about favorite House Hunters classics.

• Quote:
  “We started Dwell Hello many years ago, but it was sort of like a sporadic thing... That’s about 75 [episodes]... It’s crazy. We’ve seen so many.”
  — Ben (01:50)

• [03:11–04:03] Listener Jill Hirsch recommended this standout episode: “From Brooklyn to the Beach.”

• Quote:
  “This may be my favorite House Hunters episode I’ve ever seen. ... I could not get enough of these two women. These women need to be on TV more.”
  — Ben (03:11)

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2. Meet the Sisters: Lorraine & Christine

• [04:03–06:09] Introduction to Lorraine (retired math supervisor) and Christine (ex-NYPD detective), their family, and their unique sibling banter.

• Quote:
  “Her whole life is about math. It’s annoying. I’ll be honest with you. It’s annoying.”
  — Christine as recapped by Ronnie (05:36)

• [06:28–08:18] The sisters’ routine of repeating each other's sentences and running jokes about “the boys,” the dishwashing math, and family idiosyncrasies.

• Quote:
  “Everything is about the boys.”
  — Ronnie, channeling the sisters (08:18)

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3. Family Dynamics, Italian-American Traditions, and ‘The Boys’

• [08:20–11:24] The recording booth is imagined overflowing with lasagna and pasta, celebrations, and mother-daughter households.

• [10:29–13:34] Dinner with the realtor (Ryan) and wife; stories about Cape May, fireworks on barges, and local Brooklyn legends, all told with comedic exaggeration and familial warmth.

• Quote:
  “Would you ever... come up from Cape May and I’ll make you some meatballs and lasagna before we go look at houses?”
  — Ben (10:29)

• [13:01–16:32] Lorraine and Christine dream up plans for the new home: must-haves include a lasagna-making room, a pool, walkability to the beach, and, of course, space for the boys.

• Quote:
  “Can we get a room just for lasagna making? ... We can show the boys.”
  — Ben channeling Lorraine (14:31–15:01)

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4. The Home Search: Three Houses, Many Opinions

House #1 – North Cape May Cottage

• [19:17–28:33]
• Modest size, but key features include “mommy’s backsplash,” bunk beds for the boys, and strange doors from the bathroom to the outside.
• Memorable Moments:
  • Artful gushing over small details (“Mommy’s window glass!” [23:43])
  • Hilarious concern over a direct bathroom-to-yard door (26:27)
  • Recurring “no gut jobs!” refrain (28:10)
  • Bunk beds math: “Wait, that means we need two more boys...” (25:30–25:53)

House #2 – Wildwood Condo

• [28:33–36:24]
• A newer, smaller condo close to the beach; lots of stairs (bad for Ma), no gas stove, small communal spaces, but pretty finishes.
• Memorable Moments:
  • Condemning a sister’s terrible stuffed mushrooms live (“Go stuff your mouth with mushrooms...” [30:05])
  • “Pretty landscaping” turns out to be "three seedlings" ([30:39])
  • Immediate deduction “they’re not taking this one” due to stairs ([33:17])

House #3 – Spacious New Build in the Woods

• [36:24–44:51]

• Biggest house with an acre yard, six-burner stove, vast living space, possibility for a pool, and potential for a “roller skating rink for the boys.”

• Quote:
  “We could build a pool. We could maybe put a park in there. Maybe a roller skating rink for the boys.”
  — Christine (46:14)

• Comedic reminiscing about old friends, television shows, and famous TV actors (Ashley Schiavone, Michael Chiklis) interspersed.

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5. Decision Time

• [46:51–47:37] Despite all space and amenity limitations, the sisters choose House #1 for its sentimental “mommy’s backsplash” and built-in bunk beds—even though they “don’t like anything about it.”
• Quote:
  “You’re taking the smallest one, the ugliest one, the one with a door in the bathroom that goes to the outside.”
  — Ronnie (47:12)

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6. Themes: Sentimentality, Family Over Function, and Making It Work

• [47:37–49:15] Reflection on the decision: The heart won over practicality. The space may be cramped, but the family’s connections, culinary traditions, and adaptability will make it “fine.”
• Quote:
  “All the grandmas... had a little stove and a little countertop. They sit at the table... and chop things at the table. ... There’s actually something kind of amazing about that.”
  — Ben (48:48–49:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[This episode] had me laughing from beginning to end. I could not get enough of these two women.”
  — Ben (03:11)

• “Listen, I load the dishwasher, she goes back in, she rearranges the whole thing every single time. Math, math, math.”
  — Christine as recapped by Ronnie (06:09)

• “You know who’d love the bunk beds? The boys. ... That means we need two more boys.”
  — Christine & Ben (25:30–25:53)

• “Oh my God, I’m gonna cry. It’s Mommy’s backsplash!”
  — Christine (23:05)

• “Not everything needs to be a computer. You know, it can just be whole. You just hold it, hold it like you do in the old days.”
  — Ben, on electric toothbrushes (24:29)

• “We’re sold. We’re sold. There’s space for the boys to sleep. There’s mommy’s backsplash.”
  — Ben (48:21)

• “We need to see Lorraine’s current closet space because she is so impressed with all these small closets... She’s like, oh, palatial. I could be the Queen of Sheba in here.”
  — Ben (35:39)

• “All the grandmas and everything... had a little stove and a little countertop. ... There’s actually something kind of amazing about that.”
  — Ben (48:48–49:15)

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Episode Structure and Timestamps

• [01:08–04:03] Opening reflections and introduction to the sisters' episode
• [04:03–08:18] Establishing the family, sibling dynamics, and running jokes
• [08:18–13:34] Family banter, food traditions, realtor dinner
• [13:34–19:17] House requirements, the “boys,” and prepping to house hunt
• [19:17–28:33] House #1: North Cape May cottage tour and critique
• [28:33–36:24] House #2: Newer condo, stairs dilemma, and family grievances
• [36:24–44:51] House #3: Spacious new build, ideal for “the boys,” decisions
• [46:51–47:37] House selection—sentimental win for House #1
• [47:37–49:20] Reflection and closing sentiments

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Tone & Final Thoughts

The episode is warm, rambunctiously funny, and full of loving mockery as Ben and Ronnie channel the sisters’ voices and dynamics. The running gags—“the boys,” “mommy’s backsplash,” fears of “gut jobs”—are affectionately lampooned. The decision to pick the least practical but most sentimental house underlines a universal truth: in the end, the heart wants what it wants, especially in Italian-American families.

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For listeners new or old, this episode is a joyful, heartwarming, and laugh-out-loud conclusion to Dwell Hello—a reminder of the importance of family, nostalgia, and not taking house hunting (or yourself) too seriously.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

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[C]

Bingo. Well, hello. Well, hello, and welcome to the final episode of Dwell. Hello, I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over. Hello, Ben.

[A]

Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

[C]

Hey, baby. Good. Wow, what a long journey we've had here with Dwell. Hello. We've had such a good time. Yeah, we really recorded so many episodes of House Hunters.

[A]

It's amazing.

[C]

How many have there been?

[A]

We've been. Well, we started Dwell. Hello. Many years ago, but it was sort of like a sporadic thing. And then in terms of us doing it like every other week, it's been like three years. So that's like. That's at least like seven for. For the past three years. I mean, every other week, that's about 75.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

So it's.

[C]

Right.

[A]

If it's like 52 weeks in a year, we only do every other week. So it's like 26. Yeah, it's about. It's crazy. We've seen so many. And what's also crazy is how many. How many? That we haven't even done. But yeah, we've done a lot of these. And, you know.

[C]

Well, yeah, this is the end of.

[A]

The road for it, but, you know, for now, on pause. We're putting it on pause, but we need a break.

[C]

Yeah, we're Durinda English. I mean, just to show you how many episodes there are, this is season 248, episode 10. And God knows when this even came out. Okay. It's 248 seasons. And that doesn't even include the Internationals, the, you know, tiny homes, the whatever, the, you know, renovations, extremes, yada, yada, yada, you know. But here we are with Dwell. Hello. This episode is called From Brooklyn to the Beach. It was recommended by Jill Hirsch. So thank you, Jill. We love ya. And you can find these episodes on YouTube TV. That's where we found this one.

[A]

I want to say something, which is that we put out the call, we put out the bat signal. We said, we are going to be doing our final episode soon. Please send us really the best ones. The, like, the really the best ones to do. And not only did Jill Hirsch find us one of the best ones, I feel like we've. This, this may be my favorite House Hunters episode I've ever seen. I don't know. It's hard to like. Actually, my favorite one of all time may have been when that couple moved to Destin to be near their friends like Frank or whatever. Like this, just this, that one wasn't one of my favorite. There have been some real classics, but this is like, this is such a great one. To end on, like, this episode had me laughing from beginning to end. I could not get enough of these two women. These women need to be on TV more. I, I would. I, I need to see. This is not enough for me. The journey needs to continue for them.

[C]

Yeah, they, they were a great pair of sisters, so let's get it going. Brooklyn native Lorraine wants a change of pace from city life, so she's looking for a beachside home in Cape May, New Jersey. She's from a big Italian American family, and her goal is to have a place to share with her sisters and nephews when they visit. And to make this dream possible. One of her sisters is chipping in financially and weighing in with her opinions. But my thought is, what would be the possibility of pushing this kitchen out? She's like, I don't want to. I'm not up for the renovations. I'm not up for it.

[A]

When I say that she's from a big Italian American family, I don't even have to say that because she's already brought a lasagna into my recording booth. You want to have a slice, Linda? Have a slice. Have a slice. It'll be great. You know who'd also like the slice? The boys. The boys will love a slice.

[C]

The boys need a slice. Okay. Give the boys a slice. So Lorraine is like, okay. I'm a retired assistant principal supervisor of a math department in a major New York City high school. I'm not going to say which one is that major. Okay. And I currently live in Brooklyn with a mother daughter house because I take care of my mom. Hence mother and daughter. Okay. I want to move to escape the bitch house. Okay, can we find one of those? That would be great. Not. Don't give the address to Ma. I'll be there.

[A]

I lived. I've lived in this house for as long as I can remember, since I'm about 3 years old. And you know who else likes to come to the house? The boys. The boys love coming to the house. The boys.

[C]

Well, I'm Christine. I'm Lorraine's sister. I was an NYPD police officer. Detective. So don't mess with me, all right? We're very different. Her whole life is about math. It's annoying. I'll be honest with you. It's annoying. That's what it is.

[A]

Even the way I load the dishwasher, everything has to be kind of symmetrical. It's about math. Dishes are very much about math. You don't know that, Christine, because you do. You do. You're a police officer. And that's great. You know what? She's a very nice police officer. She did a great job. She found all sorts of perpetrators, you know, but she doesn't use math. You got to use math if you're going to do police. If you really want to excel in that.

[C]

Listen, I load the dishwasher, she goes back in, she rearranges the whole thing every single time. Math, math, math. Can I wash a dish? No. Can you wash them with the dishes?

[A]

Okay, you can't wash arithmetic, but you use it. You use it. The way they overlap each other. Oh, my God. It's just like. It was just so amazing, so funny.

[C]

And the way that they repeat the last word of whichever one of them said was also really funny. They'd be like, you know what? I love the stove. I love the stove. The stove. It's a stove. I have these cleaning ladies, and I've told you about them before, but they are my fucking favorite people. They come over here, they're sisters, and they do the same thing where one of them says something and the other one just repeats it, and they do it through the whole house. So one of the first time they came here, I had just had a party, and she said, oh, so you had a party? You had a party here? He had a party. A party party. How many people were at the party? A hundred people. A hundred people were at the party. A hundred people at your party? Oh, my God. Did you cook? He cooked. You cooked for your party? He cooked for his party. It's two hours of these ladies just walking back and forth and asking me things and then repeating it. Like it's the most amazing answer. That they've ever heard. And I, I've never had a cleaner house because I just want them here all the time.

[A]

Well, what's so funny about these women as we get when once they start looking at the houses we're normally used to on house hunters, that they've clearly been prompted to find the negatives in something, you know, to be antagonistic to the other person. But here, like they seem to go out of their way to say that things are nice, everything. Oh, well, you know what, that's a look. Very nice shingles. The shingles are very nice. It's a very nice shingle. They did a very nice job with the shingles. Well, I like the shingle quite a bit. Well also, you know what else is nice? The doorknob. Oh, very nice doorknob. That's a nice doorknob. Did you look at the door? Look at this doorknob. It's actually good quality. Very nice quality in the doorknob.

[C]

So funny when they walked up to one and she says, oh, what is this? A porch? It's a porch. Well, it's not a porch, it's an outdoor space. Well, it's not big, but it's an outdoor space. It's for its outdoors. Yeah, it's outdoors. We love it.

[A]

Yes, very nice. Love it. Boys.

[C]

The boys.

[A]

Everything is about the boys.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

There's like this abstract concept of like little boys somewhere. So we see. But now they're like sitting in Lorraine's like dining room. Lorraine has put out the biggest spread we've ever seen on the show. And like the preamble like she has, there's an enormous, enormous, like six inch deep lasagna that's out there.

[C]

There's girl, there's like 10 kinds of pasta. There's 10 kinds of pasta on this table.

[A]

So many meatballs. And I don't think this was, I don't think that she was trying to show up. I don't think this presentation, I think that Lorraine just puts out the spread. Like I am coming to Lorraine's house. I'm not even joking.

[C]

Well, we're four sisters. We grew up in the very close knit Italian American family. I don't know if you could tell. So just in case you're confused, we put rigatoni, spaghetti, even penne. Can you tell the difference between Italian? Can you tell the difference difference between penny and rigatoni? We can because we're Italian. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. We're very big on eating and cooking and celebrating and I really do love Brooklyn. But I'm, you know, I'm looking for a change, you know, yes, she wants a change. I mean, you know, I want to change everyone. You can have a change. You're allowed to have a change. But you know what I know, you know, like something. You know, it's nice to sometimes stay the same.

[C]

You can stay the same, too.

[A]

It's not. It's very nice to say the same. But you know what? I also like to change a little bit.

[C]

You change.

[A]

Change as you do it. Do what you want.

[C]

It's free.

[A]

Free country.

[C]

After just going to Cape May for one day, I said I could do this. You know, she could do it. I believe in us. She could totally do it. And eventually, I'm hoping to spend the majority of my time in Cape May, however, maintaining some sort of residence here in Brooklyn. That's my roots. Also. I'm not bringing my mom here. Let's face it.

[A]

Mazgon say, look, she's got a beautiful backsplash. And hopefully I'll find a place that has a backsplash that connects us to her backsplash. So that's what I can hope for.

[C]

I'm just looking for a sign, a backsplash sign. Well, Lorraine's got the down payment, and then I'm gonna help out financially, you know, with the payments, the electric, the this, the that. And trust me, with this one, there's always something added. You know why? She's into arithmetic. It's always about adding.

[A]

I'll say it again. It's the math thing. Okay, it's the math thing. So, by the way, also, what's funny to me is that the realtor, the realtor is at this dinner. Like, that's so. Like, I just love it. She's like, okay, you know what? Come up from Kate May and I'll. I'm going to make you some meatballs and lasagna before we go look at houses. Would you ever.

[C]

He comes and he brings his wife. And by the way, his wife looks like she wants to kill everybody at the table. The wife is like, God, he fudge it. It's date night, and he brings me here. I have to come to fudgeing Brooklyn with these old crazy ladies.

[A]

And I'm missing. I'm missing the Golden Bachelor for this.

[C]

So Lorraine's like, so how was growing up in Cape May? Come on, Ryan, tell us everything about yourself. He's like, oh, actually, I'm here to find out about you. But it was great. It was great. They do fireworks on the beach in Cape May. Yes, they do. Why did he mention the fireworks? He didn't even say a thing about fireworks.

[A]

Oh, it's very nice. The fireworks. Are they like the ones on the East River? Those are very nice fireworks. You ever see those? The groceries. They call them the groceries.

[C]

Oh, the groceries. We. We also grew up with a guy named the groceries thing from a firework that you could ever think of.

[A]

Very dumb, very dull man, but very nice.

[C]

Never spoke.

[A]

He. He worked at the deli. He was very kind. You'd go in and he would serve you a piece of meat. It was. He was a very lovely man. He died. It was very unfortunate. Very unfortunate.

[C]

Pastrami. That's the truth.

[A]

Beautiful.

[C]

He was very generous.

[A]

Very, very generous.

[C]

Good.

[A]

His wife went to high school with our cousin. I don't know if you know her. You know, she was loose, and she was a loose lady. I didn't.

[C]

She was loose. That's why she married someone who doesn't speak very much.

[A]

Doesn't speak very much at all. But she does all the talking. And if one person's doing the talking, that's all that you need. Right? You know, it's whatever works.

[C]

Loose lipped.

[A]

Loose lipped. Loose lipped. So I like that. The sisters. I think it's Lorraine's sister, because they have another sister that's there. So they do fireworks on the beach in Cape May. Yes. And Ryan, the realtor, goes, yeah. I mean. I mean, actually they're on barges out in the ocean, but, yeah, they do. Oh, really?

[C]

They don't have a dolphin that comes out and the fireworks shoots out of his blowhole. Ryan is that. Don't be like that with Ryan, okay? He's a nice boy. What does he know?

[A]

He is nice. You know, the botch. Hey, Lorraine. I mean. I mean, Christine. You ever go on. You ever go on a barge before? You ever been on a barge?

[C]

Yeah, I've been on the barge. Of course I'm on a barge. Of course. Who hasn't been on a barge before? Yeah, once I've been on a bar. You've been on a barge?

[A]

Well, you know, Tony and I once went on the barge. Well, I think we were 24 or so. We went on a barge. Was for a fundraiser for the firehouse. They went there, went on the barge. It was very nice.

[C]

We raised $7. I've never been more embarrassed. You know, these people put out fires in the. In the community. We can't raise more than $7. You know, I asked somebody there, I said, why wouldn't you donate More for the firemen, she said, because we're by water. They don't even have to do anything.

[A]

They don't get it.

[C]

You know, Sal donated fire.

[A]

Sal donated all those meats from the deli. And, you know, no one even came. No one even paid. No one even bid on the silent auction for my VHS of who's the Boss?

[C]

And you know what? No one said, thank you, Sal. And you know what? It's okay. Because he had a very hard time speaking, and he wouldn't have wanted to say, you're welcome.

[A]

But you know what, though? We all took the meat home. We had a beautiful lunch. For all week long, we had that meat for lunch. It was very lovely.

[C]

So it actually never went bad, happened, never went back.

[A]

It never went down. Wonderful. It was actually a very, very lovely piece of meat. Yeah, I was one of the sulfur I've ever had that week. It was wonderful.

[C]

Yeah, sulfites are salt. They put it on meat forever, you know, like.

[A]

Yeah, you know, people are very scared of sulfites. But let me tell you something. The meat lasts a long time.

[C]

So he's like, okay, so barges. Okay, so what's the most important thing you guys would want to have in the house down in Cape May? And Lorraine's like, well, I'd like a free house. That's what I want. I don't know.

[A]

But Lorraine, Lorraine, let's. Come on, let's be serious. The man's here to ask to do a job. Can you not make some jokes? He's trying to do it. He's trying to do his thing.

[C]

Okay, all right, I'll be serious. All right, look, I'm looking for a minimum of three bedrooms. Four, if we could get it. Maybe a basement to chain mon if she ever comes over. It's got to have two full baths. Because when we got family down, we need more than one bathroom. And let me tell you why. In two words, the boys.

[A]

All right, I have a question. I have a question. Can we get a room just for lasagna making? Can we do a lasagna, lasagna room?

[C]

We've always wanted a lasagna.

[A]

Wanted one. A lasagna.

[C]

I love a flat.

[A]

Yeah, you get to hang the flat noodles, you know, when they come out of the pot, you need someplace to put them. So place you can put the flat noodles, you have a rakata station for the rat, you know, and you put it out, you make it all there. And to me. And you get some of the sauce over in that corner. We can all be in there. And that way we can cook. You know who we could cook with? The boys. We can show the boys.

[C]

The boys every time. They're good at it. That's what they need to learn.

[A]

But let me tell you something. They may want to go in the pool.

[C]

Yeah, but look, I also love cooking with gas heat. So if we could have a gas range, that would be real special.

[A]

Very special. Very, very special. Very, very special.

[C]

Okay, if it has a pool, great. If not, you know what? It's got to have enough room for a pool. Okay? I want. I want a pool big enough to make a Sunday sauce in.

[A]

All right, so Lorraine tells us my nephews are on the younger side. And I think that just would just be something great, that we could have so many more great times and make so many more great family memories if they could either come to a pool or come to a piece of land that could have a pool. I just. I don't know. It would be beautiful.

[C]

But we're going to look at everything. Okay, let's look at everything. It doesn't matter. As long as there's water really close by that we can walk to. Why do we need a pool if there's water over there?

[A]

Yeah, but, you know, if there's. If there's water, that's closer, because then that way the boys can go from the pool to the lasagna room and they could help out with the. With the making the meats and everything to go inside the. The layers.

[C]

You know, you got water here, water there. What are we, the Little Mermaid? How much water do you need? Well, I want them to be able to walk to the beach. I don't want to have to pack things up every time we got to go to the beach.

[A]

I don't want to pack. You know how much I hate packing. You remember the time. Remember when we went on that barge and I. I made that whole basket, and as we're walking on the barge, what happened? The handle broke. Remember that?

[C]

Oh, gosh. She won't even play Pac Man. Yeah. God, all she does is sit there and stare at the dots.

[A]

I don't understand. You know, I don't understand these new video games. Pac Man's and. And it's a lot.

[C]

It's a lot. Count the dots. Every time. Counts the dots. You should see her doing subtraction. Every time the Pac man moves left or right, eats the dots. She's starting retracting things, trying to play a game with Rain Man.

[A]

Well, your arithmetic is very important. Very good movie by the Way. Very good movie.

[C]

Arithmetic. That's not a movie.

[A]

No rain. I've never seen a movie that's with.

[C]

That's with a Rain Man.

[A]

He's a very good.

[C]

Yes, very good Huffman. Very good.

[A]

No, no, Damon. Damon Hoffman. Very good. Very good movie. Very, very well done. Very well done.

[C]

We lived down the street from a Damon Huffman. He was a nice boy.

[A]

Yeah, he was a lovely boy. He was a bit touched. But you know what? He's a very kind man. And his mother was very lovely. I love the shape. Beautiful hair. God bless her soul.

[C]

All right, you can have a pool. All right, well, it can't be a gut job. All right, listen, I can't do a gut job. I just can't do it, all right, Ryan, don't make me do a gut job, Ryan.

[A]

I can't do another gut job. No gut jobs. I'll gut. Listen, I'll get the land for a pool, but I'm not gutting the house. It's not going to happen. That's why I draw the line.

[C]

All right? And if I can interrupt you, which I always do anyway, you know, and she said.

[A]

She goes. She goes. Which I always do anyway. And guess what? Guess. Who cares? Not me. I'm gonna do it anyway.

[C]

Yes, you do. Even though I'm always right. Well, I say 85,900 by or no. Sorry, 85. 9. But my sister has a different thought, and being that she's gonna be the financier, if you will. Yeah, I'm looking for 700. All right, Ryan. 900. 700. Not that huge of a difference.

[A]

But question. When they do the fireworks off of the beach, they're off of a barge. Oh, okay. Off a barge. Is it loud? Is it gonna disturb the boys? We want the boys.

[C]

She doesn't like loud things. All right, we don't want it. We don't want to counting fireworks all night. Okay? She's gotta get to sleep. So now they go. They're driving around, going to Cape May, and they go to this neighborhood in North Cape May, and Christine's. Christine goes, hey, have you noticed nobody's honked at us yet?

[A]

I did notice that. And by the way, Lorraine laughs like in a garden. She had the exact same. Because in a garden's from Brooklyn. And they share like, a Brooklyn laugh. She's like, yes, I did notice that. You know, they. You know why? Because they respect arithmetic. And that's what I love. Oh, God, look at all the parking over here. A lot of parking. You could park many cars Here, you know, they've got. Is that a Toyota over there? The very lovely Toyota.

[C]

Look at that. Look, there's so much street parking. This is crazy. What? You don't have to move your. You don't have to move your car for the street sweeping. Even here. I don't even see a street sweeping sign anywhere. What, are we in paradise?

[A]

Ladies, Hi. Sorry, we have to get this episode going. Okay, I'm going to narrate a little bit. Their agent's partner, Ed, is showing Lorraine and Christine a home in North Cape May. I guess Ed wasn't cool enough to get invited to the lasagna dinner. Oh, sorry, Ed. Maybe next time you can wear a full fleece instead of a fleece vest.

[C]

Ryan was exhausted after being fed lasagna, rigatoni, linguine, vermicelli, and cavetti. Nobody even knows what cavetti is. It's a pasta.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Please get out of my boot. Get out of my boot.

[A]

Ryan, unfortunately, couldn't show homes today because he was up all night trembling and saying to his wife, the boys, the boys. Who are the boys?

[C]

Don't let the boys on a barge. Don't let the boys on a barge.

[A]

I mean, how many times can I tell them that fireworks were on the barge, not the beach?

[C]

I thought this was Ryan's dad who came because he's this old guy. He's like, hey, ladies, I got a home to show you. Oh, yeah, look at that. He says there's enough room for a pool in the backyard. Oh, so when we get there, you could do the square footage and figure it out, right? Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, you could do it in your math. You could do it with your math. Yeah, I'm gonna do it with my math. Yeah, I got a math head. She's always doing math, Ed.

[A]

Always. Hey, ladies. Okay, well, come on in. This is a Cape May cottage. Look. Now, look at this neighborhood. This is basically all year round people. These are people who have their boys with them all year round. Okay, you like that? You like the way these houses look? Oh, wow.

[C]

All year round with the boys. Can you think of it? I mean, look at this place. It's perfect. It all adds up. Oh, you say that every day. It all adds up. The same thing every day. It all adds up.

[A]

Everything's arithmetic. I'm sorry, Christine. So Ed's like, yeah, we're only two blocks from the bay beaches.

[C]

Oh, wow, that's great. Two blocks.

[A]

I bet you got a lot of crime. I've been around these places before, and I don't want to see any crime. Okay? We're trying to get away from that. I left that. I left that kick back up in Brooklyn, okay, Ed? So don't bring me to someplace with crime. Who said anything about crime? I don't know. You sort of implied it.

[C]

Hey there, Lorraine. Did you hear we're five minus three blocks to the beach? Oh, can you stop with the arithmetic? This is ridiculous.

[A]

So it's this cute little house on just like sort of a generic neighborhood that just happens to be close to the beach. And Lorraine is like, oh, well, this is good. This is a cute little space. Is. Okay, so is there another living space or is this it? Is there more? Is there room for more than just a chair? Because we got a whole big family. I don't know where Ma's gonna sit. I don't know, but Ma and the boys. Not a lot of room.

[C]

Kind of small. Ed, is there another. Is there another house under this house that makes this house bigger? Because I don't see it right now, but, you know, with someone in the NYPD for years and years, I think you're hiding something yet. What are you hiding at? Where's the other living room?

[A]

Well, you know, the inventory is historically low at the South Jersey shore. I mean, most houses are not on the market for more than a week, so maybe 30 days, give or take. I mean, who's counting, right? Right? Who's counting?

[C]

My sister. That's right. It's all right. All right.

[A]

It was a little. There's a little for you. One for you, Lorraine. Okay? We want this house, you know, we. We want to go. You know, as soon as we come, A house comes on the market here, you know, it's gone for a second. So we need to get Lorraine and Christine into these houses as quickly as possible. So.

[C]

Look, ladies, get in here. I've got a surprise for you. You're gonna love it. It's a gas stove.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Christine.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Look at that. Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God. You saw the same thing I did. You saw the same thing. Did you see that? You saw that?

[C]

I see it. Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry. It's Mommy's backsplash.

[A]

Mommy's backsplash. Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, God. It's the same as my mother has in the kitchen. The kitchen's small, the kitchen's small, but it's got Mommy's backsplash.

[A]

It's got Mommy's back and. Get in here. Get in here. Look at that. You see what that's, what's that behind the scene? You know what that is? You know what it is? It's mommy's back.

[C]

Mommy's back. Yeah. Come on.

[A]

Who'd have thought. Who the thought. Who thought that the same person who went, who went to Home Depot for Mommy went to Home Depot for this people. It's. I mean, it's beautiful. Beautiful.

[C]

Oh, so I assume this is the eating area here, where there's room here by the stove. Yeah, I mean, there's plenty of light. That's good. That's what comes in through the window. We love. Mommy has a window. Oh, God. It's a mommy window.

[A]

It's. You know what? Look at this. Oh, my God. Same window, same material as mommy's window glass. Can you believe it? It's mommy's glass.

[C]

You can see through the window just like Mommy. That's great.

[A]

Mommy's glass. This is beautiful. Beautiful.

[C]

Let's go look at the bathroom.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, big one, big one. Big problem. I know you prefer a walk in shower. Oh, yeah, I know you would.

[A]

Yeah. Walk in maybe.

[C]

I think maybe.

[A]

I think a little bit bigger.

[C]

A little bit bigger. Just a little bit bigger sink.

[A]

You know, I got, you know, I got a toothbrush. I got, I got, I got a nice tooth. You know what I like? I like oral.

[C]

B.

[A]

Very good toothbrush. Very good.

[C]

Yeah, very good. Very, very electric. You know, they spin around.

[A]

It's electric.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't do electric. No, I like to. I like to hold. I. I don't, I don't trust that. I don't, I don't want to get. I don't shock while I'm brushing my teeth. It's got to be.

[C]

What am I putting electricity inside of me? What am I not.

[A]

Not everything needs to be a computer. You know, it can just be whole. You just hold it, hold it like you do in the old days. I mean, you know, you're.

[C]

That.

[A]

That's how you get strength. You know, when the boys come over, I say, leave your electric toothbrushes at the doorway because it's only non electric in here.

[C]

Wait a minute. Newton wasn't even into electricity. That was Ben Franklin. What am I, Ben Franklin, flying a kite outside with my teeth? No, I don't want. I don't want electric in my mouth, you know?

[A]

No electric in my mouth.

[C]

All right, well, maybe we need something a little bit bigger. All right, let's take a look at the bedrooms. Okay. Yeah. This is the first bedroom. This is a nice Size?

[A]

No, it's very nice. Very nice. A lot of light.

[C]

Very nice.

[A]

Nice big car. Look, my. This closet. I. I like that. You can fit two jackets in this closet. It's very big. Very, very.

[C]

Like the carpet. Don't like the carpet.

[A]

Not a good. Oh, oh, look at this. Look, Christine, look what's in this room. Look.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Look at it.

[C]

Look at that. That.

[B]

Bunks.

[A]

Bunk beds. You know who'd love the bunk beds?

[C]

Beds. Oh, my God, who? The boys. The boys would love these. The boys would love them. Then they wouldn't have to fight over who has the top bunk. Because we've got two top bunks, two bottom bunks. Wait a minute. That means we need two more boys. If I'm doing the arithmetic here, even I can do this. Arithmetic, huh? We need two up top with two on the bottom. That means we need two more.

[A]

You gotta. You got some boys, Ed? Well, I got Ryan. He's sort of like my boy. Okay, we could.

[C]

Ryan.

[A]

Okay, so we got Ryan. Do we have another boy somewhere? Can we find a boy? What about Sal? Why don't we talk to Sal? He might have a boy.

[C]

You know what? We could ask Sal, but we. We can't expect a response. He doesn't speak.

[A]

Look at this. Oh, you know what? I just saw this door. You know who else has a door? Mommy.

[C]

Mommy. It's a mommy door. It's a mommy.

[A]

Mommy's door.

[C]

It's a mommy. Yeah, it's a nice size space. Nice vanity, good tub. Ed, what's this? Ed? Ed, what is this?

[A]

What is wrong? What's wrong?

[C]

What is this? What is it? It's a door that they put in that leads to the outside. Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like that.

[A]

No, we don't like this.

[C]

No, I don't like that at all. Yeah, what is that door to the outside of the bathroom?

[A]

No, this is a little. This is a little bit on the weird side, I have to say. A little bit on the weird side.

[C]

So now they got into the yard.

[A]

Which is, by the way, that is really weird. A bath. A door that goes directly into the bathroom from outside.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know. That's really odd. And so they go outside and they're like, oh, nice space. But what do you think the price of a built in pool would be? And he goes between 40 and 80. No, sir, that's 100 grand.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You fucking liar, Ed. He's like, just take the house. You'll love that.

[A]

Maybe an above Ground pool is what they need. So he's like, yeah. Oh, by the way, come and look at this place. Look at this room. It's got nice flooring. Oh, wow. It's very big, Ed. Very big. Hey, you know what, Christine? Your bike could go in here. Oh, yeah. You know, sure. Right on my bike. I was concerned. You know, bikes. It's hard to know where to put a bike, but this is gonna be a good place to put a bike.

[C]

Yeah, but come on, it's a small space in here, Lori. I mean, really, like, we're never gonna fit everybody in there. And can you imagine having two of us trying to cook in that kitchen? Well, I know. Y' all go ahead. Me?

[A]

No, I was gonna say it's very difficult. It'd be very difficult for us to both cook in the kitchen because, you know, would be. I'd be here, you'd be there. Be very, very cramped space. Be very hard.

[C]

But my thought is, what would be the possibility? Do you want me to say it? You want to say it? No, I'll say it. What if we push the kitchen out, make it bigger? That would be a possibility. I'm not up for a gut job, Ed. All right.

[A]

She doesn't want a gut job. She doesn't want a gut job.

[C]

Don't make me.

[A]

Got it. I think the fact that you don't want a gut job is a little bit on the weird side.

[C]

Yeah. But you know what? I already did a gut in one house, and I don't know if I want to do it again. I'm still traumatized by the goddess. All right. You know, listen, it's always easy to say, we could do A, B and C when it's coming out of my pocket.

[A]

All right, yes. Well, so they had a place that doesn't need A. So they have. They had to. A place that doesn't need any Renault. But now sister Lorraine and Christine are heading 15 minutes northeast of Cape May to Wildwood, where a newly built condo just came on the market. And spoiler alert, they're gonna think everything here is pretty nice.

[C]

You're gonna make stuffed mushrooms. I'm absolutely making stuffed mushrooms. Don't let anybody else make them. No one else is gonna make them. You know who I'm talking about. It's the first time I believe that I've been anywhere near here, and it's really nice. What was the price on this one? Oh, by the way, we're not gonna tell the audience who I'm talking about makes the terrible stuffed mushrooms, okay? Y' all are gonna have to. Well, they.

[A]

Look, they saw the dinner that happened at the top of the episode, and there's a reason why there's another sister that's not here on this drive. Okay? So they know who the other. They know who the bad mushroom maker is.

[C]

We love all our sisters, but some less than others. You know, like the stuffed mushroom methorapper.

[A]

You know, everyone has their strengths. Mine is lasagna and arithmetic. Christine is tackling robbers in a dark alley and also making a beautiful brule. But our sister, stuffed mushrooms, not a specialty. And that's okay, because you know what a specialty is? Being a wonderful lady. We love her so much, she just can't make a stuffed mushroom. There, I said it.

[C]

You said it on national television. She's gonna hear that.

[A]

You know what she does? You know what? If. If she's my true sister, she'll forgive me later.

[C]

If she says she complains about it, I'll tell her, go stuff your mouth with mushrooms, because that's the only stuff mushroom I'm letting you get near.

[A]

Maybe if she had one of her stuffed mushrooms, she'd see how terrible they are and she never make one again. There, I said it.

[C]

So now we go to home number two, and now it's Ryan. He's back. He's like, oh, yeah, I had to go to the hospital to get rid of a blockage after eating at your house. That was a lot of bread products. But you know what? I'm back, so I'm back.

[A]

So they go to this. It's a condo. It's on the second floor, and so it's as new construction. Well, I'm not new. It's like a newer condo or at least renovated or something.

[C]

I think they said it's new construction, right?

[A]

It's new. So he's showing them around, and there's like, a bunch of units. And so I love this. Lorraine goes, ah, pretty landscaping up front. And they showed this, like, little dirt, like a little flower bed that was just. And a few. It was like three seedlings popping out. Oh, beautiful. Look at that. It's like I'm in the palace of Versailles.

[C]

And look at that. The beach is right down there, right? So what is it, a block and a half? I think we'd say that is ten minus eight and a half blocks.

[A]

So if we stand here, could we see them setting up the fireworks on the beach? They do them.

[C]

The barge.

[A]

The barge.

[C]

The barge. What, are you trying to make them crazy? It's the barge. All right, well, Listen, I absolutely have considered condos, all right? I like the fact that the exterior is taken care of. You don't got to bring out your garbage. You don't got to shovel snow. You don't got a water. You gotten. I'm sad that I'm open to anything that'll fulfill the needs of a family. Okay, but wait. But wait. You see what I see? I'm not sure about mom and these steps. Mom and these steps. You kidding me? Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, God. Look at all these steps. I don't know about Mommy and these steps.

[C]

I don't know about that.

[A]

The irony, though is, you know who has these stairs? Mommy. Mommy.

[C]

Mommy got these stairs.

[A]

But like, she can go up her stitch. I don't. She can't do these stairs. I don't know about these steps. These are gonna be tough for her. I don't know about these.

[C]

Yeah, these are gonna be tough. And you know what? Carrying groceries, too. Like carrying groceries up the stairs. Well, for you, not for me. I'm not. I'm not a grocery carrier.

[A]

Yeah, and your groceries can be a little heavier because you're gonna have to have those mushrooms in them because we don't want, you know who to make them.

[C]

Ah. What is this? Oh, look, it's a little porch. It's a porch. Well, I don't know if I call it a porch. It's small. Well, it's a sitting area. You can sit there.

[A]

Yeah. You know what you could do? You could put a little table here. So that's not only just a sitting area as a table. You could put out some meats. You can get. Put out some brijuts from Sal's. That'll be lovely here.

[C]

Yeah. It's also got an outdoor house, which is much nicer than an indoor house. Like, what am I gonna do with an indoor house?

[A]

Yeah, but you know, it's very nice. It's very nice. Oh, you know what I like? I like the floors. The floors are very nice. Yeah, I like the floors too. And the ceilings are very, very high up there. Very high ceilings, very low floors. It's a big difference between the two of them.

[C]

This house is actually very pretty, this condo. I mean, it's kind of a small apartment. I don't think it would work, especially for the downstairs neighbor. If there's going to be like 20 people up here shuffling around and boys running around. I would be pissed if I was in like a two bedroom under them. But it's very pretty.

[A]

This space is. It is. It's A very nice condo. This space is 100. Not going to work for them. Because as soon as they said, these stairs are going to be hard for ma, I was like, they're not taking this one. It's like this, it was, it was done with that staircase. And also like, they keep on talking about how they're gonna have like all these big family dinners. They need 10 of them together. There's, it just was. I'm like, no way. And there's no room for a pool. I was like, but it is a nice, nice condo. And then they come around and then.

[C]

It'S an electric stovetop, which is a huge problem. They don't like that.

[A]

And I'm sorry.

[C]

Yeah, you know, the backsplash is pretty, you know, but why would we put a table in chairs? I mean, come on. It's too small. Okay, well, we're all together. What are we, 10? We're 10 with 10, right? We're 10. Ah, always the mathematician over there.

[A]

Do you guys want to hear a story? Okay. This is why, this is why gas stove means a lot to me. When I first learned how to cook, I was on an electric stovetop. Then my parents renovated our kitchen. We got a gas stove. And I thought I died and went to heaven when I started cooking on that. What a difference it was. That's the story.

[C]

Here. Oh, look over here. What do we got here? A walk in shower. A walk in shower, which my sister loves a walk in.

[A]

It's very nice. Very nice. Oh, look, it's got a rain shower. You got a. Oh, a rain shower. Wow. It collects rain and it puts it on your head. No, no, it's just, it falls like. It falls like rain.

[C]

It falls like rain. That's amazing.

[A]

Very lovely. It's very interesting.

[C]

And now because there's a bathroom here, would this be considered the primary bedroom? Because there's a bathroom? He's like, yes, yes. That's how it works. Well, it's, it's a, it's, it's a little small for a primary. It's a little small.

[A]

Small. A little small for the primary. Would you say small?

[C]

That's a bit small for the primary.

[A]

You know, it's not gonna like it in here.

[C]

The boys, the boys ain't gonna like it. Where would I put my bed? Where would I put it?

[A]

I don't know where I put it. So I can have any room, you know. But you know what, this room over here, you know what's good about this room? This would work with the boys because you know, bunk beds in it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This would be great for that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And again, it's got more closet space than I have at home. They show this closet, and you open the door, and it's just like, one. One pole. And it's not. It's a very standard closet. She's like, oh, my God, the closet space is huge. I'm gonna get three robes.

[A]

We. We need to see Lorraine's current closet space because she is so impressed with all these small closets that normally people are like, there's. Look, there's no space. And she's like, oh, palatial. I could be the Queen of Sheba in here.

[C]

Lifestyles of the rich and famous. Am I right? I could have two outfits. This is crazy.

[A]

Oh, my God. Look at this. It's a washer and dry. A stack. And I can even reach the top, finally. You know, I always have to wear soggy clothes around. I can't reach my dryer.

[C]

So they like it because it's new, and then, you know, they basically. They like it because it's new and done nicely. But we'd have to move our stuff, and we could start our life here. That's all we have to do. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. That's it.

[A]

So they go see a house where space isn't an issue, but something else is. I don't know what that thing is. Someone died there.

[C]

It's further from the beach, but the extra space is pricey. She's like, oh, this one is. What is this? It's 819, but there's no pool. Do the numbers make sense to your arithmetic, lady? Well, for a new build, I guess the price is in the zone, but it's way more than I wanted to spend.

[A]

Well, maybe our sister. Okay, how about this? Why don't we tell our sister she can make those awful stuffed mushrooms if she throws in a few coins? We can get this place. I don't know. We can make a deal. Huh? That's called. That's dealing.

[C]

We get both Ryan and Ed, his dad, so they're both here this time. And it's like the sea view crossings. You're only 10 minutes from the bathing beaches and Stone harbor and Avalon.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay, that's good. Because when we were driving here, we didn't notice any beaches or bays.

[C]

Not one. Not one.

[A]

I said, is that a bay? They said, no, that's a. That's a food town. I said, food town? I thought they went out of business. They said, well, I Was just joking. That's an amp. Oh, I didn't know amp was still in business because I was joking again. It's a shop price. I said, okay, you guys, stop making these jokes. I just want to see a beach or a bay.

[C]

I think you're gonna like the fact that you're out in this open area, ladies. Yeah. There's a biking and hiking trail right behind our neighborhood. Right. What, am I supposed to go swim on a hiking trail? Huh?

[A]

It's nice, though. Look at this nice front porch. This is a. This is a lovely front porch. What is this, a porch? It says it's nice.

[C]

You could.

[A]

You could put a chair out here. And when you. You could. It's. It's very lovely. A lovely space for a porch. I like it.

[C]

We could sit on the porch. Now, this one is huge. This house is humongous. And it's not, you know, it's pretty builder grade inside, but I think with, you know, some paint and some, you know, a little style, which they probably don't have, let's face it. I mean, shit, throw some pasta sauce on the wall. It'll look cute. It's huge.

[A]

It's huge. And it really has everything that they need for, like, the way they are talking about their family and the space that they need and stuff. That space for the boys and space for the dinner and this and that. I was like, this is going to be the one that they take because this is it.

[C]

And it's a huge backyard. It's on an acre. It's woods. I mean, the backyard is gorgeous. They could put a nice big pool and stuff.

[A]

It really has everything. And, you know, because, I mean, I know that they're. They're living in. It sounds like they live in small, like a small place in Brooklyn. So they can make do with small. But, like, I think they want. It seems like the vibe is that they ultimately want space. The kids can have a lot of fun. They look around the. The kitchen is new and fresh, and Lorraine's like, ah, six burners. We could get two turkeys in here. Everyone. Two turkeys. Big Thanksgiving coming your way. No stuff.

[C]

I thought that was the clincher. I thought that was it. When they said two turkeys, I was like, this is it. They're going to win.

[A]

Yeah, gas fireplace, everything. I mean, I was like. And then Christine goes, and you can also put up a really big TV there. I know you like a big tv. I know you can watch your wheel. Watch your wheel.

[C]

Big.

[A]

She likes to see the letters up close. And so a small TV is very difficult for her.

[C]

Yeah, you know what? Tv? That's how I watch the Mets.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

So you don't have a hologram machine that just plays it off?

[A]

Well, this is definitely the biggest living space I've been to so far. Oh, and look, it already has sliding doors. They already put the sliding doors. I was gonna say, could we put in sliding doors? They already have them in here.

[C]

That's amazing. You know, not everywhere has sliding doors. Automatically you got to put them in. That's an added expense. It all adds up. Am I right? It all adds up.

[A]

You ever see Sliding Doors with Paltrow? Very good movie. Very good.

[C]

Both of alive. Not so envious, I'll tell you that.

[A]

Not so envious. But you learn a lesson. It's. We know what we got to show the boys. Next time. Next time, we're going to show the sliding doors to the boys.

[C]

How far back does this land go anyway? Well, all the way back up to the fence. We. We sit on a nice one acre lot. Now, tell me, do they do fireworks here? Oh, God.

[A]

You. You can't put a barge on dry land. So technically, no, because no box on a barge in the water.

[C]

No barge. No barge, no buds. Okay, well, I could definitely see a beautiful big pool out here. The whole nine yards.

[A]

Whole nine yards. And that's. That's actually a pun because we only have one yard out here. But, you know. You know, Christine's very funny. She's a very. I'm the math girl. She's the comedy girl. She's a very funny one. They always said anytime she arrested a guy, they always say, you know, I don't like being put under arrest, but luckily, you're a funny cop. You know, she always told jokes in the police car. It was. They loved her. They loved her.

[C]

Yeah, they loved me. That was good. So it's always, you know, you could add a pool, but that's an added expense. And just keep that in mind when you're doing the numbers. Okay? Math genius. That's an example. You know, I was good. I was good in my day. Yeah, very funny.

[A]

What was the thing you once told the guy? Remember the guy that you found who had murdered his whole family? And he said, I guess you're not gonna have Thanksgiving. That was hilarious. And he liked that, right?

[C]

I know. Who's not cooking two turkeys this year?

[A]

It was that man. It's pretty nice. He was a very nice man. Ashamed that he was. He was not. Well on the head, Unfortunately. Unfortunately Locked away. Locked away.

[C]

So they look at the bedroom. Everywhere here is a lot bigger. You know, the closets still aren't huge, but there is one walk in closet. And of course, Lorraine has a. I'm not sure about the carpet. I love how she said it. She's like, you people in your carpet. You're trying me.

[A]

I don't know about the car, but I don't know. I may be a retired police detective, but I can still sense when there's some cookery going around. So, Christine, they go to the bathroom and. And Lorraine goes, you know what? With this bathroom, I noticed there's no door here. And this is when Ryan goes, oh, well, it's a slider. She goes, oh, a pocket door. I love a pocket door. And she just walks away.

[C]

And her sister is like, yeah, I love pocket doors too. Until they break and then it's a pain.

[A]

Well, what. What breaks and isn't a pain? Am I right? That's what. When things break, they're a pain, you know? You know, what's the fun thing to have?

[C]

Break?

[A]

Yeah, what's the fun thing to have? Break?

[C]

School break.

[A]

How. There she is, always so funny. That was a funny one, Christine. I really set you up there. I didn't even realize.

[C]

So they have a little attic thing. That's a loft bedroom. Oh, God. You know who would love this? You know, this would be perfect for.

[A]

The boys.

[C]

The boys. It's the boys. Every time when I watched this, when.

[A]

I was watching this with Dom, and when she said this, you know who this would be perfect for? I literally go, the boys. She goes, the boys. Tom goes, I hate you.

[C]

So they look around, you know, there's another bedroom across the house. And she's like, oh, I love how there's a one bedroom then. And the one bedroom across the house. It's for privacy. For privacy. For privacy.

[A]

They really thought of everything. They really did. All right, well, that's. It's not that. Okay. What I do like is that the natural light comes into this room and you have a great view, but not of a pool and not of a beach or a bay. I have to say this, Ryan, it's. It's a little disappointing about. About that. And Lorraine's like, you know what then? But we'll put in a pool. It'll be a beautiful pool that we're gonna put in. Okay, so I'm assuming that these two bedrooms, these bedrooms share a bathroom. Is that what's happening? And from the bathroom, can you hear that? Can you see the Fireworks on the beach. From the barge.

[C]

Barge. There he goes again. What, are you selling barges now, Ed? What's this guy doing? You should get stuck in barges, huh?

[A]

So they like it, but Christine's like, you know, I know it's very pretty, and it's a spacious. It's got plenty of room. But, Lorraine, you have to think about the numbers as if you're not doing it all the time, Mr. Ms. Math Genius over here. And you have to figure things out because, I mean, you're adding the pool, the price of the home and all the furniture. You know, we got a lot of furniture here. Have you ever been to Ashley Furniture? They actually have a very. They actually have a quite decent selection. Have you been there recently?

[C]

Now, you know, I knew a girl named Ashley. Remember the girl we knew named Ashley growing up? She wasn't all there. She wasn't there.

[A]

No, I. I looked. I said, is this Ashley Schiavone's place? He said, no, it's Ashley and Ducato's. And I said, oh, I don't know her, but she sounds like a nice person.

[C]

She would start the baloney, that Ashley Schiavone, every single time. And I'm telling you, she wasn't all there.

[A]

She wasn't all there. You know, she went off. You know, she went off to Los Angeles to be a television star. I don't think anyone heard from ever again. I think she was on one. I think she was on a television show. What was it called? The Commish. She was. She. She. You. You watch that, Christine, because you always say, oh, God, they got it wrong every single time.

[C]

Yeah, well, I love the. The bald fella. But you know what? We. She wanted to be a TV saw. And we would know. We would know if she was the TV star, because my sister has the tv. It's how I watch the Mets.

[A]

I watch a big tv. I watch a big tv. Chickless was his name. The actor was Chickless.

[C]

Right. And I always said I wanted Mitchell Chickless.

[A]

Yeah, that would be. That was always a very funny joke. The very first time you said that, Ma almost spit out her teeth.

[C]

Yeah. It was so funny. You remember the first time you said Chickless? And I said, what is it Sal you're talking about?

[A]

Unfortunately, you said it right in front of Sal's face. And he got so distracted, he cut his finger in the. In the. In the meat machine. But, you know, it was okay. We all had a good laugh afterwards.

[C]

Yeah, he talked about it. Was mad if he ever spoke. But.

[A]

Ladies, you do have to choose a house. We're going on three hours of this episode. Okay? So we'll. We'll choose a house.

[C]

All right? We got a huge one. I love the huge one. It's in the woods. We could build a pool. We could maybe put a park in there. Maybe a roller skating rink for the boys. I mean, there's so much we could do.

[A]

The boys would love a roller skating rink. Why don't we put a roller skating. Okay, so, okay. Roller skating rink with a pool on the inside of the roller skating rink. And we pull off the ice, and there's a pool on the inside. I love.

[C]

And the sauce room. Don't forget the sauce room. But that's number three. That was very big. Number two, it was the condo by the water. I don't know, Mom. With the stairs.

[A]

The stairs. I don't know, Ma. It doesn't have mommy's backsplash. I do want to say also with one thing we forgot to mention house number one. You know what? It has a three seasons room. Gotta have a three seasons room.

[C]

Well, no, it doesn't have it, but that's what she wants to build there. That's what she wants to build it.

[A]

Does it count as a gut job if you add on to it? Because that's just an ad job.

[C]

It's just snatch job. So I'll do it. Guess what we ended up choosing The North Cape May house.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

It was my favorite. Also, it's. It's tiny. Can't fit anybody. We don't like anything about it, but it's got the backsplash.

[A]

You know what it's got? Gross. It's got gross robin's egg walls. But you know what? It's got mommy's backsplash. And we just fell in love with that.

[C]

It's a sign. It's a sign. It's a sign what you do. You're taking the smallest one, the ugliest one, the one with a door in the bathroom that goes to the outside. And then she's like, well, you know, we're gonna take this, and believe it or not, I'm gonna do a remodel. I'm gonna take out all the floors, all the walls, add a pool, add a three seasons.

[A]

Look. What?

[C]

You're not saving money, lady. What are you doing?

[A]

I think ultimately what she really wanted was to have a little house by the beach, and so that's why she chose it. I don't know how she's gonna get all the kids in there. They'll somehow make it work. But, like, they're just not gonna have a living room. I think they just don't have a living room. And they just. They just make it a dining room or something like that. I would like to see if they build it out a little bit. They can make space. But I don't know how they're gonna deal with that house. That was crazy.

[C]

Ten people in this little place is gonna be insane. But I love it for them, you know, they're so happy and they really are. They're just gonna remodel the whole thing. So God knows what these. And I love that they. They don't know how they're gonna fit 10 people. So they're gonna build on a whole extra building that's gonna be a sun room. Build an apartment.

[A]

Well, I think the fact that it came with built in bunk beds and mommy's backsplash, they're like, we're sold. We're sold. There's space for the boys to sleep. There's mommy's backsplash. We don't have any room to cook together, but that's okay. We'll make it work. And they will. You know what? This, They're. I also feel like their generation, they, like no one. Like so many people never had these big enormous kitchens that we see on all these. All these shows and all the Real Housewives like, Like, I feel like.

[C]

And we survived.

[A]

Yeah, like all, like all the. All. All the grandmas and everything. They all had like a little stove and a little countertop. They sit. They sit at the table. They. They chop. I once read a great article. I feel like maybe I brought it up once, but like, how, you know, before there were kitchen islands, people just did stuff at the table. You use the table like a kitchen island. And we act like the kitchen islands are revolutionary thing. If you need to chop things, you take a seat and you sit at the table and you chop things at the table. And there's actually something kind of amazing about that.

[C]

That.

[A]

And I feel like these ladies will make it work.

[C]

Yeah, they'll be fine.

[A]

They'll be fine.

[C]

They'll be fine.

[A]

I love this episode. Like, I just. It just warmed my heart. I love these women. I want to know what happens with them. And it was so fun doing Dwell. Hello. For the past three years here on Wondery Plus.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And you know, fun times.

[C]

Yeah, we've loved it. Everybody, thanks for being with us. We will see you over on Crappings. We'll talk to you later. Bye.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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