Watch What Crappens – "Dwell Hello: Looking for the Good Life in Phnom Penh"

Hosted by: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: January 12, 2023

Episode Overview

In this energetic, irreverent episode of "Dwell Hello," Ben and Ronnie return after a hiatus to recap and lampoon an episode of House Hunters International titled "Looking for the Good Life in Phnom Penh." Their targets: the house-hunting exploits of Blue Beach, a privileged and uniquely named Brit seeking newfound adventure (and a reasonably priced solo apartment) in Cambodia's capital. Through signature sarcasm, the hosts dissect Blue's expectations, cluelessness, and love of colonial architecture—while gleefully voicing the snarky fictional narrator, "Linda," and the ever-patient real estate agent, Nita. If you haven’t seen the House Hunters International episode, don’t worry—Ben and Ronnie’s comedic commentary brings every moment hilariously to life.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Return of Dwell Hello and Setup

• Ben and Ronnie, both excited to revive Dwell Hello, detail how the show recaps property search series like House Hunters International (01:10).
• Clarify how House Hunters episode listings are confusing across platforms, and that viewers (or listeners) shouldn’t sweat matching the exact episode (02:29).
• Quote: "We're just here to trash people we don't know in a different arena than Bravo. Yes." – Ronnie (03:18)

2. Meet Blue Beach: Spirited Seeker or Privileged Drifter?

• Blue is introduced as a Londoner frustrated by expensive, communal living.
• Immediate skepticism from Ronnie about Blue’s complaints ("I used to live in a loft with five people in New York... crawl up an a-frame ladder, and literally crawl into bed with my dog... I thought it was the best time of my life.") (03:51)
• Ben and Ronnie riff on the possible real story of Blue’s family and background.
• Running joke: Blue’s name and her hippie parents (daughter Snow, "Snow Beach") (08:51)
• Quote: "She thinks Cambodia can help her plot a new course because she's privileged and entitled." – "Linda" (the hosts as narrator), (05:23)
• Quote: "Her name is Blue Beach... I have one sibling, and her name is Snow. Snow Beach." – Linda (08:51)

3. Blue’s (In)Experience with Cambodia & Expat Privilege

• Blue admits she knows very little about Cambodia; the job offer comes from a "local bank."
• Ronnie and Ben poke fun: "She’s the type that just sends her resume around the world via bottle." (13:48)
• Blue’s narration exudes “dreamer” energy but is loaded with privileged and inadvertently condescending takes on London and Cambodia.
• Multiple digs at Blue’s excitement over colonial architecture in Cambodia: "There's something really kind of fucked up about this white lady... losing her mind over all the old colonial style" (29:06)
• Quote: "Out of my many, many job searches, the one I got an answer from was a local bank in Phnom Penh." – Blue (13:36)

4. Phnom Penh Real Estate Adventure: Cluelessness & Contradiction

• Blue lays out an absurd wish list: furnished, French colonial, balcony, pool, gym, "reminds me of Europe" but not in Europe (17:25–18:04)
• Criticized for asking for London amenities but moving to Cambodia to escape London (17:38)
• Nita, the real estate agent, is both bemused and exasperated, as fictional Linda repeatedly undercuts Blue's expectations.

First Apartment ("Alpha" – $900/mo) (20:22 – 26:59)

• Modern, bright, new—impresses both hosts; Ben marvels, "I have never, honestly, seen as nice of a place on House Hunters International..." (20:48)
• Blue nitpicks: no “charm,” working space concerns, petite bedroom, wind on the balcony (22:35–25:46)
• Quote: "Can we find an apartment with less wind?" – Blue, via Ben/Linda (25:37)

Second Apartment (Palace Gate – $1,200/mo, by Royal Palace) (27:05 – 36:53)

• More expensive (“good amount over budget” to Blue).
• Hosts deride it as brown, bland, “more what I’d expect” from this show (32:34).
• Blue claims to love the "vintage vibe" and desk – but dislikes gas stovetops (34:24).
• Running joke: Nita’s growing, possibly romantic fixation on Blue ("It will be more comfortable with me beside you." – Nita, 24:41; "There is a pool we will be holding hands in." – Nita, 35:58).
• Indoor pool is a surprise feature… but the hosts suspect it’s a “dank cavern” (36:22)

Third Apartment (#3, Expat Area – $950/mo) (41:00 – 45:46)

• Big, plain boxy space; not cute, but huge.
• Blue loves the space, fusses over lack of desk by the window—refuses to move furniture herself (42:03).
• Hosts exasperated at Blue’s lack of practical thinking ("Move the fucking table to the window. What is wrong with you?" – Ben, 42:15)

5. Recurring Motifs and Mockery

• Blue’s obsession with wind: every balcony apparently too windy (25:37, 35:13, 42:54)
• Her aversion to gas stoves, always linked to grand pronouncements ("I can't look at gas stoves. I literally can't even look at gas." – Blue, 34:24)
• Inability to adapt—both practically and culturally (repeatedly giving up on learning Khmer, not greeting people in the local language, etc.) (38:10)
• Hosts’ suspicions about Blue’s priorities: wanting to be near royalty, splash out for status, not for practical or genuine reasons.
• Running joke: Nita’s over-eager offers to cook, "hold hands in the pool," wait in bed, etc.

6. Decision Time & Reveal (46:30 – 50:03)

• Blue agonizes over each option:
  • Rejects first (Alpha): "not my style...very boring... like a showroom" (46:47)
  • Stresses about gas stove in Palace Gate but likes desk/indoor pool/vintage (47:19)
  • Third apartment dismissed for lack of amenities, called “quirky” on account of a decorative bowl (47:53)
• Ultimately, Blue throws budget to the wind and takes Palace Gate: aesthetic and status ("I just feel like splashing more and going for what was on my wish list." 48:26)
• Ronnie: "She chose the worst option. I guarantee she chose it because it was the most expensive and closest to the royal palace." (50:07)
• Ben and Ronnie speculate she’s motivated mostly by being able to tell her mom she can see the King from her window ("I can literally see the King of Cambodia... that’s the entire reason why she’s living there." 50:32)

7. Three Months Later: Has Blue Changed?

• Blue, still largely unintegrated culturally or linguistically, expresses satisfaction in her “incredible journey.”
• Security guard is shown enduring her relentless hellos ("Hello security guard." – 49:44)
• No sign of language improvement; still unable to identify a singing bowl (49:09).
• Nita’s possible, stalker-ish devotion remains a recurring joke.

Notable Quotes and Moments with Timestamps

• "We’re just here to trash people we don’t know in a different arena than Bravo. Yes." – Ronnie (03:18)
• "She thinks Cambodia can help her plot a new course because she's privileged and entitled." – Linda (05:23)
• "Her name is Blue Beach... I have one sibling, and her name is Snow. Snow Beach." – Linda (08:51)
• On Blue's job search: "She's the type that just sends her resume around the world via bottle." – Ronnie (13:48)
• On Blue's privilege: "There's something really kind of fucked up about this white lady... losing her mind over all the old colonial style." – Ben (29:06)
• On apartment wish list: "I'd like a pool and a gym... I want something that reminds me of Paris, but I don't want to be anywhere close to Paris. Let's have a little taste of home." – Linda, as Blue (17:48)
• Blue on wind: "Can we find an apartment with less wind?" (25:37)
• "Move the fucking table to the window. What is wrong with you?" – Ben (42:15)
• "She chose the worst option. I guarantee she chose it because it was the most expensive and closest to the royal palace." – Ronnie (50:07)
• "I can literally see the King of Cambodia across the way. It's insane." – Blue (50:32)
• "I love being able to step out of my apartment and be in the hustle and bustle of Pompa Le Pen." – Blue (49:19)

Key Takeaways / Themes

• Clueless Privilege Abroad: The episode is a satire of the oblivious expat fantasy, highlighting how privilege, entitlement, and lack of adaptability can underlie seemingly “brave” moves abroad.
• Real Estate Disconnection: What is viewed as a “dream” by a Western expat often comes at the expense of practicality, budget, and cultural relevance.
• House Hunters Tropes: The show, via Ben and Ronnie, mercilessly mocks the tropes—unrealistic wish lists, shallow complaints ("the wind"), bizarre fixations (gas stoves), and ignoring of actual location and context.
• Ben & Ronnie’s Signature Tone: The recap thrives on offbeat banter, sharp sarcasm, running jokes, and over-the-top characterizations (especially the invented “Linda” and her disdain).

Final Thoughts

Even without watching the House Hunters International episode, Ben and Ronnie provide a hilarious, context-rich play-by-play—making fun of Blue’s every ex-pat misstep, skewering real estate show clichés, and riffing on the intersection of Western entitlement and Southeast Asian reality. It’s a brilliant display of affectionate ridicule, with sharp asides, quotable lines, and the sense that no house hunter is safe from their comedic crosshairs.

For more episodes, find Watch What Crappens wherever you get your podcasts.