Watch What Crappens: "Dwell Hello: Who's The Boss in Bali?"

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: May 4, 2023
Episode Recap & Summary

Overview

In this episode of "Dwell Hello," Ben and Ronnie, the comedic duo behind Watch What Crappens, recap an episode of House Hunters International titled "Who's The Boss in Bali?" The hosts lovingly roast and analyze a New Orleans couple, Justin and Nikki, as they move their somewhat fraught relationship across the globe to Ubud, Bali, in search of a new home. Their journey, full of questionable life decisions, reveals dubious ambitions, culture clashes, and classic House Hunters absurdity—served up with Ben and Ronnie’s signature mix of sarcasm, pop culture references, and genuine affection for Bravo-style reality melodrama.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meet Justin & Nikki

• Introduction & Background:

  • Justin, described as a "Barney Rubble type" (03:02), and Nikki, "his gangly girlfriend," are moving to Bali.
  • Ben notes: “I feel like it’s just another one of these tales of a guy whose dad put an idea into his head one time when he was a child, and now he’s just forcing that notion out onto some poor lady in his life.” (02:26)
  • Ronnie identifies a recurring reality TV motif: men with unresolved parental issues driving the plot. (02:46)

• Nikki’s Vibes:

  • Repeated observations that Nikki seems uncomfortable—about Bali, the show, and possibly Justin.
  • Ronnie: “She looked uncomfortable with…her family finding out this is the man that she is romantically attached to. She just didn’t seem to want to be there.” (04:08)
  • Nikki’s look: “Real tall lady…90s eyebrows…scarves, Rosie the Riveter vibe.” (03:35, 04:27)

• Life Situation:

  • Nikki is a long-time hairdresser; Justin claims to be a “mental health coordinator,” wishing not to work in Bali. (07:34)
  • “He wants to move to a different country across the globe and not work. Please, Nikki, just stay in New Orleans.” – Ben (08:29)

2. Bali Dreams & Questionable Motives

• Justin's Bali aspirations are built more on childhood fantasy than reality (“...a place that we had to move just because of the feeling it gave us” 03:03 & 24:29).

• Nikki appears swept along by Justin’s plans (“If I have to move to fucking Bali for my eyebrows not to look as insane as they do in America, I’ll do it.” – Ronnie, 03:35)

• Red flag:

  • Justin explicitly doesn’t want to work (“I don’t want to work in Bali”), prompting disbelief from both hosts about how Nikki tolerates/supports this. (07:34–08:29)

3. The Real Estate Guy: Jared

• Jared, the property expert, is described as “a property expert who looks like Peter McNichol…with a little more Isaac Mizrahi.” (09:44)
• Ben and Ronnie construct elaborate backstories for Jared, painting him as a Manhattanite fleeing from a scandal. (“He stole his dead aunt’s jewelry and moved to Indonesia” – Ben, 10:34)
• Jared’s perspective: He can’t stand them but seems lonely/happy to talk; “I get the impression he’s running from something.” (10:17, 10:49)

4. House Tours - The Three Options

House 1: Modern Build in Ubud (17:15)

• Modern, 1-bedroom, “anthropologie” feel.
• Nikki loves the look. Justin thinks it’s “too modern”—wants “authentic Balinese.”
• Gecko net/“toilet” over the bed to prevent droppings: “Gecko toilet!” – Nikki (20:26)
• $700/month, no pool.
• Ben: “I don’t think you could get…with a private pool and this nice kitchen…I think this is a tremendous deal…for $950/month.” (38:00)

House 2: ‘Rustic’ Open-Air Jungle Home (27:56)

• $850/month. Two bedrooms, shared pool, no walls in living room (“You’re going to be sharing a pool…” 28:05)
• Nikki: “So there’s no walls?” “You get used to it.” – Jared
• Kitchen is a disaster (“...terrible. You know, there’s not equipment. What the fuck are you gonna do in there?” – Ronnie, 30:36)
• Both alarmed by the lack of comfort and privacy; Nikki especially worried about “bugs…snakes…monkeys” (40:33–41:22)

House 3: Modern With Private Pool (35:41)

• $950/month, 2 bedrooms, full kitchen, bright, modern yet with rustic touches.
• Ben: “It’s the sort of house where you say, I was gonna come to Bali and not work, but I decided to pick up a gig so I can actually live in this beautiful house.” (36:24)
• Justin: “The best thing, the price is fair. Also, this is too bright. Who says that?” (37:10)
• Nikki: “We can’t afford this. I mean, a fridge. Have you seen my boyfriend?” (37:50)

5. Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• On Justin’s Haircuts:

  • "She does not give him a haircut. She has clippers. But no hair ever falls off of him…His haircut is fucking terrible.” – Ronnie (05:56)
  • “You see the lines where she changes the razor? It looks like a terrace garden.” – Ben (06:15)

• On Cultural Naivety:

  • “It’s literally a culture, you ding dong.” – Ronnie, on Americans marveling at “culturally oriented” places (12:01)
  • “People come here with a romantic notion first…Let’s see if they love this.” – Jared, via Ben (16:35)

• On Budget Expectations:

  • “Americans just being like, well…we can just offer up $2 a month and I think they’ll probably be happy to take that.” – Ben (16:11)

• On Relationship Dynamics:

  • “She probably feels bad because she knows she’s supporting him, but…you have one life…You don’t have to be walled in by this relationship, there’s an entire planet to go to to avoid this guy.” – Ben (42:30)
  • “You can break up with him. Just break up.” – Ronnie & Ben (42:29)

• Gecko Toilet:

  • “Gecko toilet! Gecko toilet!” – Nikki, mocking the net over the bed. (20:26)

• On House Choices:

  • “I thought that house was like the crazy house that they do to scare us people off into paying more money, but they chose it.” – Ben (43:03)

6. Decision Time & Aftermath

• Quick rundown of the house choice discussion (39:31–43:03):
  • Each house’s flaws (gecko toilet, no walls, too modern/expensive) are rehashed.
  • Nikki ultimately “chooses” House 2, the open-air house, but a twist: Nikki is actually working in Bangkok, coming back only to visit—leaving Justin to enjoy the open air, jobless, in Bali.
  • Ronnie: “She literally just got with this guy and left him in Bali…I mean, she’s probably never even there.” (42:29)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Justin & Nikki’s Background and Dynamic

  • [02:26]–[05:14]

• Justin’s Haircut Fiasco

  • [05:56]–[07:09]

• Initial Bali Aspirations/Dreams

  • [08:29]–[09:10]

• Introduction of Jared, The Property Expert

  • [09:44]–[13:07]

• House 1 Tour

  • [17:15]–[22:35]

• House 2 Tour

  • [27:56]–[32:08]

• House 3 Tour

  • [35:41]–[39:04]

• The Decision & Relationship Reality Check

  • [39:31]–[43:03]

Final Thoughts & Tone

Ben and Ronnie deliver their classic, loving-yet-cutting recaps, highlighting the absurdity of the House Hunters process—particularly when filtered through the clueless optimism (and escapism) of Americans abroad. Their impressions, observations, and invented backstories keep the episode light, sharp, and thoroughly entertaining for both Bravo fans and those just peeking in on the world’s weirdest house-hunting show.

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

• Expect playful banter, relentless roasting of the show’s subjects, astute (and often hilarious) social commentary, and the kind of quotable running jokes Watch What Crappens fans love.
• The Bali adventure is less about real estate, more about incompatible dreams, American naïveté, and why some couples will always find a (gecko-poop-laden) roof—even if love leaves one of them in another country.

“You don’t have to be walled in by this relationship, there’s an entire planet to go to to avoid this guy.”
—Ben Mandelker, 42:30

Next episode in two weeks!