Ep 230: Tim Dillon

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We Might Be Drunk" – Ep 230: Tim Dillon

Release Date: May 5, 2025
Hosts: Sam Morril and Mark Normand
Guest: Tim Dillon

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1. Introduction to the Episode

In Episode 230 of "We Might Be Drunk," hosts Sam Morril and Mark Normand welcome comedian Tim Dillon for an engaging and humorous discussion. The episode delves into various topics ranging from the current landscape of streaming content to the intricacies of touring as a comedian in major cities like New York and Los Angeles.

2. Netflix Specials and Streaming Content

Tim Dillon opens the conversation by mentioning his new special on Netflix, highlighting the competitive nature of streaming platforms:

Tim Dillon [00:09]: "New special on Netflix."

Mark Normand shares his excitement about Rick Glassman's special, noting its temporary success in the top 10 charts:

Mark Normand [00:11]: "We were in the top 10 for a week, which was good."

The hosts critique the dichotomy of Netflix content being either overly silly or excessively dark:

Mark Normand [00:39]: "Everything on Netflix now is either the silliest thing ever or the darkest thing I've ever seen."

They discuss the lack of middle-ground content, emphasizing how shows either delve into absurdity or explore profound darkness without finding a balance.

3. Media Appearances and Promotional Challenges

Rick Glassman discusses the challenges of promoting comedy specials in today’s polarized media environment:

Rick Glassman [04:06]: "I'm on every... I'm on, like, CNN, Fox. I'm on all the things. And it's crazy."

The conversation touches on the complexities of appearing on major networks amidst cancel culture and media narratives:

Mark Normand [04:51]: "And you're like, is Cancel Culture canceled?"

They highlight the necessity for comedians to navigate these platforms to maximize visibility while maintaining integrity.

4. Defining Modern Social Terminologies

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to dissecting contemporary social labels and the confusion surrounding them. The hosts express frustration over the expanding and often unclear definitions within the LGBTQ+ community:

Mark Normand [09:38]: "We're now... there's this big circle now called queer. No one knows what that means."

They critique the overcomplication of identities, making it challenging for both comedians and the general public to engage respectfully and understandingly:

Mark Normand [10:18]: "It's like a menu at a diner. You're like, this is a lot."

5. Touring as a Comedian: NYC vs. LA

The hosts compare the experiences of touring in New York City versus Los Angeles, highlighting the unique challenges and benefits each city presents:

Mark Normand [34:21]: "But I do like LA a lot. I love the Comedy Store, I love the improv. Like, I like the lifestyle. Like, the weather. It's all good."

Tim Dillon emphasizes the spontaneity and community in NYC, contrasting it with the isolation often felt in LA:

Tim Dillon [45:25]: "You do both. Because in LA it is lonely and weird."

They discuss how the layout and culture of each city influence the comedian's routine, audience interaction, and overall quality of life.

6. Cultural Observations and City Comparisons

The episode delves into cultural critiques of various cities, particularly focusing on the perceived lack of "soul" in places like California compared to Texas:

Mark Normand [33:07]: "There is more of a soul in Texas than there is in California."

They humorously dissect the societal issues and realities of living in different urban environments, touching on topics like homelessness, regulation, and the influx of foreign investment altering city dynamics.

7. Comedic Peeves and Personal Grievances

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts share their personal pet peeves, adding a relatable and humorous dimension to the discussion:

Mark Normand [73:11]: "I dislike when restaurants ask if you have a reservation even when they're empty."

Tim Dillon adds his frustration with common inconveniences, such as mishandled seltzer cans in the fridge:

Tim Dillon [72:39]: "People who put in the seltzer thing the wrong way."

These exchanges offer listeners a glimpse into the hosts' everyday annoyances, blended seamlessly with their comedic flair.

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with lighthearted banter and recommendations for comedy venues and food spots, reinforcing the camaraderie between the hosts and guest. They reflect on the ever-evolving landscape of comedy, streaming platforms, and societal norms, leaving listeners with both laughs and food for thought.

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Notable Quotes:

• Mark Normand [00:39]: "Everything on Netflix now is either the silliest thing ever or the darkest thing I've ever seen."

• Mark Normand [09:38]: "We're now... there's this big circle now called queer. No one knows what that means."

• Tim Dillon [45:25]: "You do both. Because in LA it is lonely and weird."

• Mark Normand [73:11]: "I dislike when restaurants ask if you have a reservation even when they're empty."

---

Key Takeaways:

• The current streaming landscape is polarized, with content skewing towards extremes without middle-ground offerings.
• Comedians face challenges in media promotion due to cancel culture and strict network narratives.
• Modern social terminologies within the LGBTQ+ community are expanding, leading to confusion and frustration.
• Touring in NYC offers spontaneity and a strong comedic community, while LA provides renowned comedy venues but can feel isolating.
• Personal pet peeves shared by hosts add relatability and humor to the discussion.

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This episode offers a blend of insightful commentary and humorous observations, making it a must-listen for fans of stand-up comedy and those interested in the behind-the-scenes dynamics of the entertainment industry.

Transcript

[Tim Dillon]

Foreign. Hey, Tim Dillon's here.

[Rick Glassman]

Thanks for having me.

[Tim Dillon]

New special on Netflix.

[Rick Glassman]

Thank you.

[Tim Dillon]

A good body.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, it's there. We were in the top 10 for a week, which was good.

[Unknown]

That's hard now.

[Rick Glassman]

It's hard to do. Love on the spectrum got us.

[Tim Dillon]

But our that's Rick Glassman special.

[Rick Glassman]

So enjoy it while you can. Kidding. It's all gonna work.

[Unknown]

What was that? Adolescence. What was that thing?

[Rick Glassman]

Adolescence was big. About a young kid who murdered a His friend.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

Or. Which one's that About a young kid who killed a girl.

[Unknown]

The British kid. Oh, cute too.

[Rick Glassman]

Everything on Netflix now is either the silliest thing ever or the darkest thing I've ever seen.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

No, in the middle.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

It's either like these two people are dating but they've only ever seen each other's eyes. Or it's like an eight year old committed a mass murder. There's no in the middle ground.

[Unknown]

Let's eat cake or.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Unknown]

Is this cake or rape? That's it.

[Rick Glassman]

Is this rape?

[Tim Dillon]

Have you guys done that? Show it cake. Is this.

[Rick Glassman]

By the way, that's a show. Is this rape? Is it rape?

[Unknown]

Tell if I ever heard Louis Gomez.

[Rick Glassman]

Once years ago said we should do a show called Rape Dicks where we investigate open mic rape claims. And I said I'm. I'm gonna pass.

[Tim Dillon]

I saw this movie is a wreck. If you've never seen you. You know this British director, Mike Lee.

[Rick Glassman]

Of course.

[Tim Dillon]

Have you seen Naked?

[Rick Glassman]

Um, I haven't seen. But he did. I think he did. If I'm thinking of the. Right. That guy. He did Secrets and Lies. He's brilliant.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, dude, it's. It's dark. That's the guy.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, that's a congressman. It's a senator from Utah.

[Tim Dillon]

He pulled up an Asian man. No, no. It's literally opening scene rape. And you're like, all right, I guess he's the bad guy. And then there's another rape and you're like, I'm confused.

[Unknown]

This is a lot.

[Tim Dillon]

There's like five rapes in this movie. But it's his fucking dark good though. It's like. It's thought provoking and crazy and really.

[Rick Glassman]

He had one movie called Secrets and Lies. It was brilliant. I've heard all plot of the movie is that is a British working class woman finds out she has a daughter and the daughter's black. So it's just a very interesting because like today obviously wouldn't really be that. But it was like such a thing.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Right now where it's like it was just a funny movie on rewatch. It's funny, you know, because that's the whole plot. So the whole plot is like, she had sex with a black guy and that's a black daughter.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Rick Glassman]

And her family has to accept it. I mean, look at the. Look at. She's crying next.

[Unknown]

So she's disappointed twice.

[Rick Glassman]

She's right.

[Unknown]

I have a daughter.

[Rick Glassman]

No, she's crying. She's literally crying. She's black. She's like, sweet all. How did it happen?

[Tim Dillon]

We have come a long way. How long away?

[Rick Glassman]

We've come along. Yeah, that was the film.

[Unknown]

Now this looks like an ABC show. This looks like a new show.

[Rick Glassman]

That's Bob Loves Abbott show.

[Unknown]

This is Abbott elementary, everybody. Oh, good times. All right. I gotta check out this naked.

[Tim Dillon]

It's good.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm doing it.

[Tim Dillon]

It's shocking.

[Unknown]

5R. That's more than a Hannah Gatsby special.

[Rick Glassman]

That's right.

[Tim Dillon]

It was crazy.

[Unknown]

All right, I'm on. I'm in.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Dude, I saw you making the rounds. You're popping up everywhere.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm doing a lot. You got to do it now. You got to do it. I mean, I'm on every. I'm on, like, cnn, Fox. I'm on all the things. And it's crazy.

[Tim Dillon]

How much do they actually air of you on cnn?

[Unknown]

That was a guy saw that clip.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. Cuz I.

[Rick Glassman]

They haven't done it yet, but we sat there for an hour, we had a really great talk. And I just think. I think they'll air it. I hope they'll air it. The journalist is pushing for them to air the whole thing either. Not on TV, but on the line.

[Tim Dillon]

YouTube, right?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. We had a good talk. It wasn't. It was. It was a good talk.

[Unknown]

But they have a narrative. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

All of the cable.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, all the cable things do, but I get it. And because, like, you go on Fox, you're like, is Cancel Culture canceled?

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

And you're like. And then they'll be like, this guy's got a new special that woke losers will hate. And I'm like, But it's like me talking about my mother. Like, it's not like I'm not like up there being like the tariffs, you know, like. But I get it. It's like, you know, it's just what it is. But it's, you know, you got to make the round. And they're fun and you see how much that media is dying because all these things are remote.

[Unknown]

Is that right?

[Rick Glassman]

You just go into a room, they put a earpiece in you. And then Sean Hannity's in Florida.

[Unknown]

Uhhuh.

[Rick Glassman]

And he's like, you know, all right, next coming up is Tim Dylan. And then he goes. He goes, you do your thing with him and. And then he goes, why are people offended at jokes? I go, I don't know. It's privileged, I guess they're coddled or, you know, people, real problems, you know? And he goes, right, right. And you'll go back and forth, quick, quick. And then he's like, thank you so much. Well, that's. We love you and good luck. And then you do that, and you're like, okay. And then some guy comes in and he, like, takes the thing off you. And then he's like, goodbye.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Rick Glassman]

And then you just walk out onto 6th Avenue.

[Unknown]

It's over. Then. Okay, you do Theo Vaughan, and it gets 8 million more views.

[Rick Glassman]

Right? It's.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

So it's a weird. But then it's like, weird because how did he will it. There's just people that watch that.

[Unknown]

Sure.

[Rick Glassman]

Like, old Long island friends of mine are like, texting me photos because that's there. He's there. The ovon, Right. He's there. You know what?

[Unknown]

Larry King.

[Rick Glassman]

They're Larry King, whatever.

[Unknown]

Howard Stern or whatever.

[Rick Glassman]

So it's like. It's just. It's just interesting. What hits what people. Yeah, what people? And I just want people to watch the special. So I'll just do anything that'll get people to watch this special.

[Unknown]

Well, Schultz us, because he did, like, Barry Weiss, then he did Megyn Kelly, then he did Shay Shay, then he did Rogan. Like, he hit every. He wouldn't even do, like, are you garbage? He just did all the other.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm doing Barry Weiss, but then I'll do Hamas. Like, I'm going to do bald. Like, I'll go right to the tunnel. Because, frankly, I want to hear everybody. I want all viewers.

[Tim Dillon]

Some of your friends from Long island are like, I liked you on Hamas.

[Rick Glassman]

They like, I saw you on Hamas.

[Unknown]

That's got to be a big tunnel there. Watch out.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, that's what I said about my. I was doing some joke about my. I don't know, my stepmother or something. I said, drag her into the tunnel. Make it bigger or something. No, she heard it. They heard. They hear it. These people, they hear the things you say now.

[Unknown]

Well, people send it to these. They go, hey, did you hear what this said? You're like, what are you doing?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

She doesn't watch tv.

[Rick Glassman]

Enjoy it calmly and privately.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, I have Friends I grew up with who listen to you, and they're like, tim Dillon mentioned you. I'm like, oh. So I get, like, cred from you, you know?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, all the time.

[Unknown]

It's. I have that weird. Do you guys ever have that thing? Like, he'll send me a thing. He's like, bill Burr mentioned you. And you're like, oh, right. I'm always terrified it's gonna be like, this guy's a hack. He's not annoying.

[Rick Glassman]

He's gonna say, so.

[Unknown]

You kind of have to listen, like, with one eye closed.

[Tim Dillon]

We make edits on this podcast. We. We.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

It gets to a point with sometimes too much booze, where, like, we start shit talking. Like, let's cut it down.

[Rick Glassman]

You got to rein it in. Yeah, sometimes I get it.

[Unknown]

We had Bert on. He got seven whiskeys deep. He's like, this guy sucks. This guy.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh.

[Tim Dillon]

I got text from people who were like, my feelings are hurting. He's an alcoholic.

[Rick Glassman]

Bert went for sushi for three hours. It's the best dinner ever.

[Unknown]

He will shit talk all night. It's pretty great.

[Rick Glassman]

Best shit talker in the business. Best. Most fun stories from, like, back in the day. He's really, really.

[Tim Dillon]

He's on our pod. We're all hammered. He's yelling at Mark. He's like, catch up. I'm like, dude, you weigh 400 pounds more than us. Yeah, we shouldn't be going drink.

[Rick Glassman]

But I don't even think it's that because he's not even that big anymore. But he's just trained his body.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

He's actually trained, you know, but we.

[Unknown]

Have sets that night. He's going to eat a steak and fall asleep.

[Tim Dillon]

He fell asleep at a steakhouse. Sagura's like, he's asleep at dinner.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And I'm like, yeah, we're up, too. Believe it or not, we're trying to keep up with him.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, it was. Yeah. What a dinner. What a fun. Yeah, just fun.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. You know, no, he has a great time.

[Unknown]

He's a great day. He's a machine.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

He's so much fun.

[Unknown]

But that sushi dinner, he. There's no way he remembers that.

[Rick Glassman]

He loved it. He does remember. It's weird. I went to a place where you can't take out the phone on purpose. They will not allow the phones.

[Tim Dillon]

Art, would you ever get married, do you think?

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know. I've been thinking about it more. I think it's a.

[Unknown]

You can do that now.

[Rick Glassman]

You can do it now. For now.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

But. No, I'm kidding. I think you'd ha. It would have to make a lot of sense, because New York's a state where it's a community property state. So you got to be deeply in love with someone, and you got to want that legal definition because it is half your property and half your money and half of all of it.

[Unknown]

Well, you get the nup, you get the pre.

[Rick Glassman]

But I will tell you, it's New York's tough. Yeah, Ali's tough, even with them.

[Tim Dillon]

Are you a New York resident right now?

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, I don't know either, because I.

[Rick Glassman]

I was last year. The year before that was California. Two years ago was Texas. That was a good one.

[Unknown]

You better figure that out. You might get sent to El Salvador.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, first of all, I will enjoy it. There's not one image from that prison that's disturbed me or made me feel like it isn't fun. No, I'm kidding.

[Unknown]

They had margaritas.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. No, I think I'm New York resident. Cool.

[Tim Dillon]

All right.

[Rick Glassman]

The numbers of days.

[Unknown]

Holy. That's like Tim, spring break.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, is that. Who's fearing that?

[Tim Dillon]

Zoom in. Let's do a little more Harry Krishna.

[Unknown]

Holy.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, come on.

[Unknown]

That doesn't look so bad.

[Rick Glassman]

We got a few. The one with the tats is pretty good.

[Unknown]

Pretty hot.

[Rick Glassman]

One to the left and right. Not great.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

By the way, you know where gay marriage is not legal? Ukraine.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I think Greece just pulled back. Did you see this? They pulled.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I think Greece got too gay. I mean, I think went so gay that they said, we need to pull it back.

[Unknown]

Yeah, gay.

[Rick Glassman]

I think there were guys just leaving their wives in the middle of dinner, getting gay married and then coming back. So I think you need to find the healthy.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, even the gay icons of Greek guys. Right. Gay.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Very gay.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah. Rome, too.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I think it's a. It's a. It's a weird time. We're now. Because there's this big circle now called queer.

[Unknown]

Yeah. No one knows.

[Rick Glassman]

No one knows what that means. And people don't like things that are undefined.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

Where they go. Wait, so who's queer? And what is this? And what do you want from me? And what do I got to call you? And how does this work? And are you suing me and all that? And. And what happens is now you're lumped into this thing where you go. It's. You're. It's. It's trans people, which is great, but Then it's also non binary people. And then you go, okay. And then you're like, but it's also people that identify as a million different genders ago. Okay? And then you go, it's also pansexuals and sapiosexuals and demisexuals. And you go, I don't know what any of that means. And you start, sure you do either. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Like the menu at a diner. You're like, this is a lot.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, too much. And I think, what's, what's people. I, you know, it's going back. People are pulling back now and going like, reevaluating some of these progressive, in my mind, good things like gay marriage and stuff like that. Because I think they're going, wait a minute, what is this new world that we don't really understand that we're being kind of led into?

[Unknown]

Well, yeah, and you, I think you need the definitions, like just, yeah, what is a woman? And people start going like, well, yeah, it's crazy. Just, we gotta, we gotta make this quicker.

[Tim Dillon]

And no one wants to come off as like, ignorant or disrespectful, but it is getting. I'm a little confused.

[Unknown]

But yeah, that's the thing.

[Rick Glassman]

If people said to me, like, 2010, everything's glee, everything's fine, no one cares about anything.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And then if somebody came to me and said, well, how do we get this going the other way? How do we get. Go. Slide back? I go, I don't know, take some drag queens, put them in a library, have them read to 8 year olds. Like, that's the craziest.

[Tim Dillon]

That's just got picked up on Netflix too.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, that's. That's the new show. The craziest thing is, like, you have that and people like, what is this?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, right.

[Rick Glassman]

It's. We're nightclub. Drag. Drag is nightclub. We're nightclub. I don't want kids at our shows. Why would we want kids at our shows?

[Unknown]

Right?

[Rick Glassman]

So I'm comics. So this, this to me is like, again, it just, I think people start going like, hey, what's going on here? And then you get this backlash where they start going, all right, we're going to, you know, we're going to start reevaluating everything.

[Unknown]

Well, just my thing is just don't gaslight me. You know, if you're like, what's up with that? Like, whoa, you fucking bad. You're like, well, it wasn't here before. Now it's here. I'm asking where it came from. And now I'm A bag.

[Rick Glassman]

It just seems unnecessary to have a drag queen in a Libra. I feel like a library is unfun. I don't know anyone that wants to go to a library. If they called all three of us ago, you need to read the kids library. God. None of us would do it. We'd all go, oh, we'd love to, but we, you know, there's got too much to do.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Also, a longshoreman is weird to read.

[Rick Glassman]

New York people get.

[Tim Dillon]

People get married at the New York Public Library. That's like a big thing here.

[Unknown]

Like.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, rent it out.

[Unknown]

It's a pretty place.

[Tim Dillon]

It's a pretty place.

[Rick Glassman]

So here's the. Here's the one that I like. Can you bring up that one to the left with its thorns? That one, that one. I mean, this is. This is the one.

[Unknown]

What is going on?

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, this is the one where you go, wait a minute.

[Unknown]

This is horrifying.

[Rick Glassman]

This is horrifying.

[Unknown]

I mean, we've combined, like, two genres here.

[Tim Dillon]

Is that Chapel Roan?

[Rick Glassman]

What's going on? Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

What happened?

[Rick Glassman]

But, I mean, I might go back in the closet, just marry Schumer. Dan Soder said the best thing. He goes, if you. And Schumer, you, you, you, you just. If you. You take. You fuse your power, and what you do is you just. Every coffee house you'd walk out of, it would just explode. And you just have the Heath Ledger smiles. It's an unstoppable force.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

But see, this is where people start going, what is happening?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

So I think this is the issue that we're commingling these worlds that shouldn't be around each other. And I don't think it's necessarily bad. I don't think these people are pedophiles. I think it's like, this is like a lot of Do Gooder women going, like, I want to show how tolerant I am. And even men. Right. Like, I'm taking my kid to the drag hour.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

Because there's a lot of Park Slope dads being like, we're going to drag hour.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And then you go, okay, but maybe.

[Tim Dillon]

There'S a lot of other options. In New York, the Mets are playing.

[Unknown]

I think there's a Rockettes.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Unknown]

Or the. Yeah. I was. I was raised by a drag queen. My nanny was a burlesque dancer. Big black guy. But it was only because he was cheap. My parents could afford it.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean, he did molest you, but he was also very affordable.

[Unknown]

Sure. I learned a lot.

[Tim Dillon]

Sure.

[Unknown]

But, yeah, it wasn't like we're so progressive. It was just like, oh, this guy will do it. Yeah, bring him in.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

This is a different thing. This is like a statement.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, this is a statement. And I just don't think it's. It's not ideal.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's strange.

[Rick Glassman]

It's strange.

[Unknown]

And you should be able to say it's strange.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

That's all. Now we're in a garage. All right. How the fuck do you get Kevin Spacey? We've been trying to get him on this show for two years.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. Maybe you should have been using his name as a punchline every episode. Well, one episode of Work.

[Rick Glassman]

My. My agent.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Justin the great.

[Rick Glassman]

Fat Justin.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Hold the. His manager, their friends, and he said, would he do this? And he goes, yeah. And we called the manager and we chatted about it, and we had to go back and forth on the script a lot because, like, we have Frank. Frank feels like it's more fresh, elegant. He doesn't like. He doesn't like the elegant. You know why they go, what's that? Who said that? A predator. Kevin's basic Frank Underwood revival. Who's writing that?

[Unknown]

That's nice.

[Rick Glassman]

He was acquitted.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Tim Dillon]

Why we can't have him on the show.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, here's the deal. I'm not saying everything he's done is ideal. Here's what I'm saying. The character.

[Tim Dillon]

Agree to disagree.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm saying the character. Frank Underwood was Netflix's first hit show.

[Unknown]

Iconic character.

[Rick Glassman]

First hit character. I think it was just. If he was roasting podcasters, making fun of it. I think it's funny. We wanted someone to make fun of this idea that podcasters are so important in this and that. Whatever, right? And we're like, who would be better to do it than fucking Frank Underwood from House of Cars? We started laughing, and we said, is there a way to get him? And we got him. And he was really professional.

[Tim Dillon]

And did you have to pay him a lot or was he just pay him a dollar? He's a passion.

[Rick Glassman]

He just did it.

[Unknown]

I love it.

[Rick Glassman]

And he's, you know, he's like one of the greatest actors of all time.

[Unknown]

Unbelievable.

[Rick Glassman]

Unbelievable.

[Tim Dillon]

Even. Even his bad movies. I remember, like, Capex D, you know, he's remembers, like, not terrible. Do you remember swimming with sharks?

[Unknown]

He was.

[Rick Glassman]

That's great, guys. Kills on everything he does. And he came in and he just was great. But, you know, did you put.

[Tim Dillon]

Did you rock the boat at all? Did you poke him at all off camera?

[Rick Glassman]

No, no, he was very, like, flirty. No, he was just very, like. He's just one of these guys who, like you.

[Unknown]

You.

[Rick Glassman]

He's an actor, and in the sense that, like, you don't know what he's saying. You don't know if what he's saying is true. Do you know what I mean?

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

Like. Like, I've met these guys, like Joaquin Phoenix, when they're so.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, I'm innocent.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, they don't exist. Like, Joaquin Phoenix does exit. Kevin Spacey doesn't really.

[Tim Dillon]

Right, right.

[Rick Glassman]

Frank Underwood exists. Kaiser Soza. He's not dead.

[Tim Dillon]

He's a vessel.

[Rick Glassman]

He's a vessel.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

So he could say anything he wants.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, he. I know someone who did a movie with him, and I was like, was he appropriate? And he goes, he kept trying to touch my dick. And then I asked him to stop, and he mostly stopped and was cool.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Rick Glassman]

It's a great promo, because what it does is it roasts the whole way. We have to promote things. It makes fun of comedy, and that's what we were going for.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I told you not to tell anybody that you've never been to movie.

[Tim Dillon]

All right.

[Unknown]

Not with him.

[Rick Glassman]

But it was largely positive reaction and then a few very negative ones as well.

[Unknown]

Well, you're gonna get that with anybody.

[Rick Glassman]

Get it?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. I mean, you went provocative. And I got sent it by a bunch of friends who just were like, this is funny.

[Rick Glassman]

It was funny.

[Unknown]

It was so good.

[Rick Glassman]

We. We got Brian Francis, who is a great writer, and we. We worked on this script. He works with Nikki, he works with me and a few people, and we brought him in, and we were just sitting in Los Angeles, the podcast studio, going like. We had a line that Spacey wouldn't read that I think it was. We ended up going with Daily Wire, the musical, which. Funny one we are. The original line that Frankie wrote was, I go, I'm supposed to endorse Jews for a Ukrainian Gaza, Which I thought was the best. We love. It was a killer line that Brian wrote. And then he just wouldn't. He came in, he had a Ukraine thing on the wrist. Oh. And he's like. I just won't say that I'm uncomfortable with that. And we were like, totally. And we're like, alts. Alts. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

But this.

[Tim Dillon]

How about that?

[Unknown]

Right?

[Rick Glassman]

So we're like, you know, damn. Yeah. He had a few good alts, so.

[Unknown]

He'S got standards, he's got scruples.

[Tim Dillon]

He.

[Rick Glassman]

He has. Yeah. He has certain things he's uncomfortable with saying and doing.

[Unknown]

Got it. Okay. But it came out great. It was really.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And it. Everybody shared it.

[Rick Glassman]

It was a fun one. We. We thought about it. We didn't know what. It's weird now to film a pro and I'm. That's not second nature to me. Like, some guys are great at it. I wasn't. And I'm like, this might be a really funny idea. And we. We got him.

[Tim Dillon]

You're not a. You're not like a promo whore. It's.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.

[Tim Dillon]

It's one thing to go and talk on shows, but, like, come see my thing.

[Rick Glassman]

It's hard. It's hard for me.

[Tim Dillon]

It. Outside of her. I remember I used to bark and I was so bad at it.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Barking wasn't. That was never my skill set.

[Tim Dillon]

No.

[Rick Glassman]

I'd go like this. I go. I tried like a few times. And then I. I think it was like. Was it the lantern back in the day?

[Unknown]

Yeah, I did that one.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. And then you try. And then people. I don't want to come. And I'd go, yeah, all right.

[Unknown]

Yeah, all right.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm not gonna.

[Tim Dillon]

When you get people in and there's like four people, you're like, hot show tonight. And then you go up and they're like, what the.

[Rick Glassman]

I used to live with a guy, by the way. He was pretty good at it and. Pretty good.

[Tim Dillon]

He was good.

[Rick Glassman]

It's kind of an art. He'd like, corner a couple.

[Tim Dillon]

Rarely a good comic, though.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, it's not ideal, but, you know, thing.

[Tim Dillon]

Cuz you're lying, you're comfortable.

[Rick Glassman]

Good at that angle of where it was just kind of like, come here.

[Unknown]

That's.

[Rick Glassman]

It's one of those, like, Right.

[Unknown]

Oh, that's hard for. I did last comic standing and they're like, all right. You know, you do those, like, interstitials, those confessional moments. Tell us how you're gonna kick everybody's ass. I'm like, honestly, I'm probably not gonna make it through. I'm not a minority comic.

[Rick Glassman]

Together years ago.

[Tim Dillon]

I don't.

[Rick Glassman]

With Norm, Roseanne and Kevin. Yeah, we're on it. I was on it for two minutes. You were maybe on it longer. And I was gone in the first.

[Tim Dillon]

Thing on two and a half minutes, I think.

[Rick Glassman]

But literally, here's the deal. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I was probably. I. I don't. I don't think. I don't think they have any footage of It. But it was like, me and you were on this thing. And I remember, like, there was a moment during the. I just never looked worse than these Ice House photos. I hate. This guy took these photos at the Ice House. I'm like, can you just get them off these Ice House. And it's like. It's the word. It's a club I perform at once a year. I'm like, can you just get the photo?

[Unknown]

It's a great club.

[Rick Glassman]

It's a great club. I just. It's far from la, right? So.

[Unknown]

Sure.

[Rick Glassman]

So we were on this comic scene, and I remember, like, there were people on it that were really, really good at, like, going, like, all right, I'm gonna call my mom now. And then the camera. Exactly up to this person. And then they would be like, mom, I'm here. And then you're like, oh, this is crazy.

[Tim Dillon]

I know.

[Rick Glassman]

You were just really uncanny. And we looked at each other and we're like. We're just not comfortable with that. No, that's not what we're.

[Unknown]

They wanted us. They wanted drama. They wanted to be like, I'm living in a van. I've got divorced. My mom has cancer. I need to win this. But I didn't have that. I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna do well.

[Tim Dillon]

The drama we would do is, like, poking people. But it wasn't the. Just like, I'm a victim. And they were. I'm a victim.

[Unknown]

They want the sub.

[Tim Dillon]

Here's my sad story. But I was like, no, I have a pretty good life.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I'm just trying to write jokes. I want to be a. Yeah, that's.

[Tim Dillon]

The enemy of that.

[Unknown]

That's what I'm saying, dude.

[Tim Dillon]

I remember doing agt. I did all these fucking awful shows, and they were trying to get me to trash people.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Camera. I'm like, dude, I don't.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I don't want to do it.

[Tim Dillon]

You know, it's already stressful. There's a fat couple dancing Mambo Number five next to me, talking bird. I'm like, I'm already losing my mind. Don't make me, like, bury these people.

[Unknown]

Yeah, a little bit of Monica.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. No, it's. It was. It was a weird thing.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Reality tv, that's kind of over now for comics. I think we.

[Rick Glassman]

Comics. But, God, is it not for everyone else? I mean, those.

[Tim Dillon]

What's the big one now?

[Rick Glassman]

Well. Oh, God. Like, Love island shows like that.

[Tim Dillon]

Billion Hours, I guess that is.

[Rick Glassman]

No, I don't. I don't. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Like, oh, Bot. Was it the mask? Is that still around?

[Rick Glassman]

Circle is big. Love is blind.

[Tim Dillon]

I don't even know what the Circle Mass singers are.

[Rick Glassman]

Dystopian hellscape.

[Unknown]

It really is.

[Rick Glassman]

That's a scary thing.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

That looks like something you make fun of as it doesn't look like a real thing.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you did Is it cake?

[Tim Dillon]

I did.

[Rick Glassman]

How was it?

[Tim Dillon]

They cut out every. I didn't know it was a kid's show. So I'm, like, making, like, AIDS jokes and, like, Peter Cake.

[Rick Glassman]

I should fire Justin right now for not getting us on Is it Cake? Why are we not on Is it Cake?

[Tim Dillon]

The only thing of mine that. That my niece has ever seen. She was so. It's like, for your. No, it's fucking ridiculous. I was on with Christina P. So thank God it wasn't.

[Unknown]

Oh, that helps.

[Tim Dillon]

But she's, like, a real fan of the show. So she's like, oh, that Mikey Day is incredible. Like, he's an incredible host.

[Unknown]

Look at the leather. What are you. Where'd you get a leather jacket?

[Tim Dillon]

I don't know. This is crazy. What am I doing?

[Unknown]

Selling Molly.

[Rick Glassman]

So what about you? Just look at it and then you have to see.

[Tim Dillon]

It's really hard.

[Rick Glassman]

It really is the worst.

[Tim Dillon]

It's a terrible show.

[Rick Glassman]

Terrible.

[Tim Dillon]

But Mikey Day actually is, like, a great host.

[Rick Glassman]

But.

[Tim Dillon]

But, dude, you're like. You're looking across and you're like, dude, it's impossible. You're fucking 40ft away. How the fuck could. I don't know what it is.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Oh, please don't play clip, please.

[Unknown]

Oh, here we go. Turn up the phone.

[Rick Glassman]

That looks like cake.

[Unknown]

Yeah. This is tough.

[Tim Dillon]

That is hard, dude.

[Unknown]

Also, you're up against this fattest lady ever, so know the cake. Oh, thank God.

[Tim Dillon]

Okay, we have to decide together, guys.

[Rick Glassman]

Better change.

[Unknown]

Oh, God. Watch out for that guy.

[Tim Dillon]

They cut out a domestic abuse.

[Rick Glassman]

This woman knows every cake.

[Tim Dillon]

I definitely made a domestic abuse joke there.

[Unknown]

Turns out she was cake at the end. She's chocolate. Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

That's a crazy lineup again. Like, they just get a crazy lineup cast. Makes no sense.

[Tim Dillon]

I just figure, like, say as that. I'm like, it's a story if anything else. And then here's a story. It was. It was bad.

[Rick Glassman]

That's the stuff, Jake, the stories.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, it was a bad show. Glad I. Glad I. Six hours there.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Is it cake? Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

What a nightmare.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You got a Netflix show. I mean, you're on tv.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It's something to do.

[Unknown]

Something.

[Rick Glassman]

Half the time I'm like, it's a Fun thing.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean, what is anything you feed the beast. Exactly.

[Rick Glassman]

You just gotta do it. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Like, I would do the View if the View called me. I would.

[Tim Dillon]

Would you?

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's the View.

[Rick Glassman]

I tried to get on the View. You're not doing that.

[Unknown]

I go, all right, they should have you. They had.

[Rick Glassman]

I agree.

[Unknown]

Who? They have Bill Burr.

[Rick Glassman]

They won't have me. I just. We tried.

[Unknown]

How great would it be on the View?

[Tim Dillon]

What's. What's your, like, bucket list show that you'd want to get?

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I grew up listening to Stern, but that's tough because he only has mega famous people. But, like, Stern would be cool because I grew up listening to him.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And then I think I've done a lot of them. Like. Like, I just. I can't think of the ones outside of Stern that are, like, ones that I really grew up with that I like. That meant a lot to me.

[Unknown]

And they don't have to say, like, obviously Larry King is dead, but, like, Stern isn't what it used to be. It's different now. It used to be horrors getting salami thrown at him and.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, no Charlie Rose anymore. That would be kind of cool.

[Rick Glassman]

Charlie Rose. Yeah, that would be cool. I mean, I grew up watching that.

[Unknown]

You know James Lipton?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, I know.

[Unknown]

I know.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. But I liked it.

[Unknown]

He had Chappelle on, but he acts.

[Tim Dillon]

Chappelle acts.

[Unknown]

That's true. That's true. That's a good point.

[Rick Glassman]

I just took him a joke or two for an hour with James. Tell me about the process.

[Unknown]

Were they mad at you for trashing that after?

[Rick Glassman]

I haven't heard about. I think it was so bad that no one cared. It's obvious.

[Tim Dillon]

I have not heard from Todd.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but that's okay. Like, I don't. I don't. I don't. I gotta be honest. Why would I lie?

[Tim Dillon]

Right? Right.

[Rick Glassman]

Why would I lie? It's terrible.

[Tim Dillon]

So I haven't seen it.

[Rick Glassman]

That relationship has no value to me. It's not because I dislike him. It's because that. That has the. The value of my career is being. Being honest and saying, like, right, oh, this is what I think about this, not my relationship with him. So, I mean, I would think he'd not care. There's other people saying it that have more weight than me.

[Unknown]

Right, Good point.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. I don't think it's like, do you.

[Tim Dillon]

Think there's any truth that he intentionally made it horrible or hard to watch?

[Rick Glassman]

No truth to that.

[Tim Dillon]

He was trying to make a great film. I don't get why anyone would make a bad movie on purpose.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't think it makes producers.

[Tim Dillon]

You're not no one. That's not real.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, I think that they. They said to themselves, and love the first one, and then it became this, like, oh. What they do now is if they can't. If they don't like something but it's objectively good, they go, the audience is bad.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

This is the new tactic. They go, but the people who like it are bad. So instead of going, oh, this sucks, because they go, no, it doesn't suck. It's objectively good. They go, okay, but the audience is bad.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

So then they ran the other way, and they were like, all right, let's take this thing that people really liked and make it into this. Like, let's. Let's add show tunes.

[Unknown]

Right?

[Rick Glassman]

And then they made it this kind of silly thing that, like, I don't think was for anyone.

[Unknown]

No. No one liked it.

[Tim Dillon]

It's weird because sometimes the critics, like, they really get it wrong both ways. But, like, I feel like sometimes they're scared to trash certain. Like, I think there's a lot of movies that come out where they're just like, it's like 97% of rotten tomatoes. I'm like, this is the worst piece of shit I've ever seen.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah. Well, Rotten Tomatoes really plot a long time ago, which is. It was like my go to. And then it was like, audience score. 99.

[Tim Dillon]

Matters, of course, like, a lot, like, more to me at this point, you know?

[Unknown]

But once you find out it's. It's tainted, you're like, well, what are we doing here?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I also feel like the days of the critic like, that. It's so. Like, I used to read all Ebert's, like, reviews. I love reading those. I thought it was a great writer, but, like, the days of, like, I'll destroy you. My column are fucking dead, you know?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. I just don't think people care.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I think what you like, you know, I think people vote show with their pocketbooks now where it's like, if they are spending money, they. They like you.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And if they're not spending money, they either they don't know about you or they're not into it or whatever.

[Unknown]

So.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I think. I don't think one guy makes that much of a difference.

[Unknown]

Like, yeah, I just did that Ari storytelling show. Just your mom's house produced it. It was big budget, real cameras, rips, and all this. And I was like, wow, I was impressed. Like, what, are you gonna sell this to Netflix? He goes, no, I'm gonna do Pay per View. Why would I do that? They're going to lowball me. You know, they're not going to promote it. He's like, I got all these giant comics on. We'll all share it. You know, tweet about it.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Unknown]

This is. We'll make a ton of money on Pay Per View. I mean, the. The star power on this show.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I'm not gonna just give this away.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I'm like, good for you. Fuck them. That feels like the new. The new way to do it.

[Rick Glassman]

That's right.

[Unknown]

But we're.

[Rick Glassman]

I stand with Netflix. Yeah, I completely agree with you, but I just want to say that we're also just grateful to Netflix and Tess Randos and the Greek people in general. I don't care what they ban. We're thankful for democracy, for the Greeks, for Texas, for Netflix, for all the people that work there. That other woman.

[Unknown]

Yeah, all of them.

[Rick Glassman]

All of them. That other woman. I think it's all important. I think it's all important.

[Unknown]

Hear, hear, hear. But we don't have to get into it. But, yeah, like. Like Hulu. Hulu tried.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Tried to throw the hat in the ring. But I feel like Netflix is just so big.

[Rick Glassman]

The problem with. Number one, Netflix is really smart in the sense that they're a digitally native app on every smart TV in the world. Like, you go to any hotel, it's so easy to log in.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Use your phone, not a big deal. You get in, you want, like, the user. The user experience is better. Like, it's a tech platform. Better.

[Unknown]

It is.

[Tim Dillon]

It is like. Like, almost like a kid could use it.

[Rick Glassman]

It's easy. It's easy. And you're like, okay, now that does. Do they make the best content always? No. No. In fact, a lot of the original content there. That is made could be a lot better. You know, they've had big hits. Stranger Things, House of Cards, Wednesday. You know, a lot of the things that have been hits like Ozark, they've bought.

[Unknown]

Oh, I thought they made Ozark.

[Tim Dillon]

No company.

[Rick Glassman]

They made a full season. There was a bidding war between hbo, Netflix, and I forget the third person.

[Unknown]

How about that?

[Tim Dillon]

How about Mindhunter? That was. They discontinued that. I thought that was great.

[Rick Glassman]

That's a. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was good. You know, I mean, just a lot of. A lot. Some of it doesn't hit. Some of it. Maybe they don't give. Give. Maybe it's a lot of it is so numbers based over there that I think sometimes they might not give something a chance to go, yeah, so data oriented. That is so bad.

[Tim Dillon]

Entertainment.

[Unknown]

Bad for art.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes. But also good for art and great. And I'm grateful for it. No, but it is. No, but at the end of the day, it's like. I think part of the issue now is like, there's so much data that you get in real time as that a lot of people go, well, you know. Now look at. Look at shows like Severance that are making huge. They've been out for a long time now they're getting super popular. So I think that, like, you gotta get people rediscovering shows now. Now you're up against. You put a show out, now you're up against every show ever made. There's people that haven't seen the Sopranos, literally.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

There's people that haven't seen any of these shows. Right. There's people that are watching old episodes of ER because they like to show the Pit and they want to find out what it.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

So now it's just this crazy catalog and library of everything ever made that people are watching.

[Unknown]

And the algo is so different now. Like, Val Kilmer died and he went to number one.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Unknown]

Heat went to. Because he's in it. It's so weird to like, that's how you got your. Your heat to be number one.

[Rick Glassman]

That's right.

[Unknown]

Fascinating. A weird time for entertainment.

[Tim Dillon]

You are against everything ever made.

[Rick Glassman]

It's. You're up against so many things.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean, think about even on the road now, when you're like, who else is in town? Lady Gaga.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You know, you're against. You're in Vegas, you're like, yeah, I'm against everyone. I'm against the sphere.

[Unknown]

Yeah, dude, I used to bomb it at Funnyball and they were like, the Strawberry Fest is in town. Like, they would throw everything at me. The Ice Capades are a town.

[Tim Dillon]

The lacrosse team as a game. You're like, I can't beat the lacrosse team.

[Unknown]

Exactly. I heard it all. Yeah. Muppets on Ice, whatever.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. No, so it's. It's a lot.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Too much out there now.

[Unknown]

I know. And it might be. My fucking agent keeps putting me in these big rooms in these tiny towns. I'm like, put me in a small room. Let me sell maybe a two. Don't. Don't throw me in the fucking auditorium in Asheville, North Carolina. Throw me the orange peel.

[Rick Glassman]

I get a lot of like, like They'll. They'll, like. I'll be like. There's like. Also, you got to keep track of, like, there's been, like, flooding and stuff.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

You gotta watch out for, like, am I liars? Am I like, heartlessly marketing something in an area where people's lives are completely ruined?

[Unknown]

That's a good point.

[Tim Dillon]

A recession, flooding, someone's families underwater. Yeah. Just come to the show. Just swim here. Come on.

[Rick Glassman]

Devastation of the tornado. I'm like, what? I'm there Friday. I don't care.

[Unknown]

Before, it was like Taylor Swift in town. Now it's like, we had a school shooting yesterday. Yeah, like, fuck.

[Rick Glassman]

That's right.

[Unknown]

I got.

[Rick Glassman]

That was fun. People, people.

[Unknown]

What's this?

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I stood in front of someone's house at burned down, took a nice photo. That's a fun bit.

[Tim Dillon]

I like that he does the cool guy. Post this shit.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, of course. Well, it's L. A. You got to be, you know, you.

[Unknown]

Got to be hip.

[Rick Glassman]

You got to be hip. And people. People go through a few of those there. There's some good photos of how bad it is there. It'll never be the same. It's completely dead and over. And it's sad, but you'll never have.

[Tim Dillon]

You think LA is not coming back?

[Rick Glassman]

No. I don't know about la, but look at Malibu, dude. I mean, look at this.

[Tim Dillon]

Awful.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, you're years and years away from that ever looking anything like it did.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And that whole stretch of the pch, it's really fucking sad. The amount of toxic shit floating in the water and the amount. It's just really unfortunate and bad.

[Tim Dillon]

So there was a clip that went viral of Rogan and he was just like. He's going on and on about this. It's right when all the fires happened, he was like, it's gonna be like, there's gonna be a fire and no one's gonna be able to contain it. And he's going on for like a minute, and it's gonna wipe out the whole city. And then it just cuts to my face. I'm like, wow. And it just went viral.

[Rick Glassman]

Hilarious.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, Jesus.

[Rick Glassman]

And then he put the dates on the end of that. Tulsa.

[Tim Dillon]

See me in Asheville. Oh.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, there's still cars here. It's so crazy. That.

[Tim Dillon]

Awful.

[Rick Glassman]

It's awful. LA will be fine, but this is a tough thing.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Well, luckily they'll get all their money and insurance back. You know, get something that'll save them.

[Tim Dillon]

Do you like being in New York right now?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I love la. Too though. I like them both. You know, I, I like New York as a place when you're touring. I, I like spending the summer here. But I also like, like, like when you're touring, it's really great to tour from here. It's very hard to tour from la.

[Unknown]

You lose three hours.

[Rick Glassman]

But I do like LA a lot. I love the Comedy Store, I love the improv. Like, I like the lifestyle. Like, the weather. It's all good.

[Unknown]

Dude, California is amazing. It gets so much.

[Tim Dillon]

I'm about to do a run there and I'm like, I'm pumped for a west Coast. Riding up the west coast.

[Unknown]

I just. Napa and I drove to Santa Barbara. The drive was unbelievable, stunning. It's like, I feel like you're talking the whole drive. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Stunning. The mountains.

[Rick Glassman]

But it's, it's, it's, it's down bad.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Well, the COVID the strike and the fire, you had a three punch.

[Rick Glassman]

But I think it's, I think it's in a good position to come up because if you look at the real estate prices of Florida, Texas, they're going down and New York and Cali are steady and they're going up a little bit because people tried Florida and Texas and, and they went, oh, we get it. Or a lot of foreign money is now going, yeah, we're not, we're not investing in these cities. Like, it was clearly a pandemic frenzy to go to places like Austin and Miami. Overreaction, overreaction, over correction.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And now people are going, okay, people are going. They're, they're leaving.

[Unknown]

They're going to a real city.

[Rick Glassman]

They're leaving because, number one, the rents have skyrocketed. So younger people are going, all right, I'm not going to do this.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And then a lot of people, there's other costs, Right. You moved to Texas, you go, I saved all this money on income tax. Well, your property tax is really high. Oh, you're paying a lot of property tax. Now there's traffic, now there's homeless. Now there's things that you didn't. You're creating the same conditions place that you left in a smaller place. Austin's much smaller. LA is huge. So like, are there problems that Are there nightmare areas? Yeah. Then there's also areas that are not sure. So I think with. And in Florida is like all fun and games until you realize every restaurant closes it at 8pm and everyone's 100.

[Unknown]

And there's a hurricane on the way.

[Rick Glassman]

And there's a hurricane. And then everyone goes, oh, and I love Florida, but you got to really pick your spots. Oh, yeah, you got to really pick your spots.

[Tim Dillon]

There's something special about Florida for. They just.

[Rick Glassman]

It's amazing.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, I. I think I'm gonna shoot my next special in Tampa. Just because they don't groan at anything.

[Rick Glassman]

No, they're a.

[Tim Dillon]

It's a good comedy.

[Rick Glassman]

You could take someone from Tampa on the stage and kill them in front of the audience, and the audience would enjoy it.

[Unknown]

They would love it.

[Rick Glassman]

They would love. They would not care. Care. But then you're like, I love Tampa. And then it's like, great. But then you're eating dinner in a. In a restaurant called, like, Crabby Bills, and it looks like a pirate ship, and. And you're going, could I do. Am I gonna live?

[Tim Dillon]

This is the best they have.

[Rick Glassman]

Am I doing this? Yeah, that's the problem. The waitress comes over, and she's got, like, prison tats on her neck. And you go, is this why I work hard to be part of this?

[Unknown]

And then they go, there's celebrities in this town. You go, oh, who? They go, hulk Hogan.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, right.

[Unknown]

Carol Bass.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It's all wrestlers.

[Rick Glassman]

It's wrestlers and then people from documentaries.

[Unknown]

That have been accused of murder and Scientology.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Unknown]

In Clearwater.

[Rick Glassman]

But it's great. You get in that golf, that water. Amazing side splitters. One of the greatest clubs in the world, to me, I feel side splitters. It's one of those clubs I think about. That, to me, is comedy. Driving into that strip mall during a monsoon and then just, like, sneaking around a building and going in the back and then having this amazing set. Get. And then have your opener, go to Chili's and get you a triple dipper and then bring it back. Yeah, that, to me, is what it is.

[Unknown]

It's one of the only. It's a great club. It's one of the only clubs. The audience offends me, right? They'll say stuff to me, and I'm like, geez.

[Rick Glassman]

You'Re canceled.

[Unknown]

Yeah. But, yeah, that's fun. They love life down there. Like, you see the audience, and it's a woman with two guys next to her, and you're like, what's going on here? And they're like, we're all, yeah, all right. That's very Florida.

[Rick Glassman]

No, they have orgies down there, but it's. Anyone can kind of get involved. Like, it's like. It's like, retired doctors and, like, hookers. And then also, like, people that work at this Local steakhouse. Like, it's like Epstein's island from Mongoloids. Just total monsters. And there's something beautiful about it.

[Unknown]

But instead of 14 year olds, it's like 68 year old women make tits.

[Rick Glassman]

There's 71.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Leather skin. But they're still.

[Rick Glassman]

But it's a great place. There's no better place to give up. Oh, yeah, it is. That is the place.

[Unknown]

And then Key west is like the jizz puddle that Florida shot out because they're even more detached.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, they're out.

[Unknown]

Oh, it's fun, man. It's just dark. There's a darkness there.

[Tim Dillon]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

It's adults.

[Rick Glassman]

People that are trying to get away from stuff.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

People that have run away from stuff.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You know, I always say it's like New Orleans. A Red Lobster because they got wild drinking. But they're also, like, beachy and fun.

[Rick Glassman]

They're fun people. Sunburned.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

A nice red burn.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And they've seen it all. They're all like, you know, you talk to a cop and you can't. That's how the people are. They just.

[Rick Glassman]

No, they're awesome.

[Unknown]

They're all molested or molested.

[Rick Glassman]

And they're friendly. You'll go to a CVS and you'll ask. You'll be on the phone talking to somebody. They'll overhear you and give you a recommendation. They'll go, actually, what you should do.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

And you're like, oh, you guys are so friendly here. And in New York, you can literally look at a cashier in a CVS and directly ask them a question. They will turn away. They'll go, do you have headphones? I go. And you're like, all right, well, so it's. There's a friendliness there because people just live.

[Unknown]

Yeah. There's no boundaries there.

[Tim Dillon]

I kind of like the rudeness of New Yorkers. I was walking with a tell the other day and we just walked into a CVS and a woman was taking forever. We just walked in front of her, she goes, oh, you too?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And it was like.

[Tim Dillon]

I was like, ah. We just laughed. It's kind of fun.

[Rick Glassman]

Of course.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, that's the thing in la, after people are very, like, passive aggressive.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And they just. They insult you in kind of a different way. And it's just like. Instead, no one will ever say you in la.

[Unknown]

No, no, no, no.

[Rick Glassman]

They'll never hear that in. In la, but it'll just be some version of that.

[Unknown]

It's a version of fuck you. Like, you bring Your girlfriend or your wife to a show. And the comments like, hey, what's up? You're like, this is my wife. And they're like, so you're working on that screenplay. Like, they don't even acknowledge her because she's not in the business.

[Rick Glassman]

Right. Or they'll go like this. They drop the, the. The word doing. They drop like they go like this. Ready? They go, how are you doing? Like it's a way to just say like, how are you doing? Like, are you. Are you.

[Tim Dillon]

I'm worried about you.

[Rick Glassman]

How are you doing?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, how are you?

[Unknown]

Interesting.

[Rick Glassman]

How you doing? You okay?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay.

[Tim Dillon]

Keeps getting worse. It's like so kill yourself.

[Rick Glassman]

It's so patronizing. Are you okay?

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah. You hear that? Whitney?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. How you doing?

[Unknown]

Yeah. She said she's moving to Texas, but I don't believe it.

[Tim Dillon]

Is she?

[Rick Glassman]

I think the moving to Texas is over.

[Tim Dillon]

Really? This is.

[Rick Glassman]

Mike, I. I could.

[Tim Dillon]

You putting your foot down was, I think a big part of that probably.

[Rick Glassman]

No, it wasn't. Well, maybe it was. I just think it would. Listen, here's the deal.

[Tim Dillon]

One person being like no is. Is helpful.

[Rick Glassman]

I think it's. Listen, at the end of the day, let's, let's. Joe was the best. The club is the best. We every. You know, I love Shane. I love Tony. I love everyone. Here's a problem. The. The city of Austin, Texas, let's be very honest, is dangerous. The homeless there are more aggressive than I've ever seen them in New York. Yeah, there's pockets of it that really do look San Fran. Like, it's not good.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Like as a. As a metropolis, it's bad.

[Unknown]

It's pretty small.

[Rick Glassman]

It's small, it's brown. There's no grass. It's. It's not green. It turns brown for four months out of the year. It's over 100 degrees. The lake is. Is vomit colored. And there are brain eating amoebas that can swim up your nose and kill you within 48 hours. It's rare, but it happens.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Tim Dillon]

In Texas.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And all the hot lake states. When you get in the lake and go, ooh, this is nice and hot. You know, instead of a glacial like.

[Unknown]

Wow, you know, eat the brain, you.

[Rick Glassman]

Know, Listen, as a city, it's just. You cannot compare it. It. Sorry. To New York or Los Angeles.

[Tim Dillon]

Nice to hear that.

[Rick Glassman]

Can't be compared.

[Tim Dillon]

Nice to hear.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, that's not news to anyone, right? I mean, no one.

[Tim Dillon]

Not to not.

[Unknown]

Don't say that in the green room of The Mothership, they'll stab you.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, I feel like there, in Biden's America, they move there and by now it's Trump's America. And all of America is kind of like Austin.

[Rick Glassman]

I think the politics of New York and LA are insane. I don't agree with any of the people that run anything. I'm just talking about the city.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

I think that. I don't. The lifestyle, I don't. I, I would love if they elect a Republican governor in California. I'd love if it. I'm just talking about, let's be very honest about the actual city. Suburbs are nice, the people are cool. I love Texas, I love Dallas.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I like Houston.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I like San Antonio better. Like the actual city of Austin is four blocks and one of them is just 20 person brawls, like melees that they're broken up by horses like. And, and so I don't even know what we're talking about.

[Unknown]

I don't.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I don't.

[Unknown]

I want to visit it. Yeah. Pop in for the weekend. Pop out. Yeah, I agree. But also all these towns you go to, they have to tell you how great it is, which is like a person who posts their wedding photo every day and you're like, you guys are going to break up, right?

[Rick Glassman]

Think about New York. Everyone shits on it. If you go, New York sucks. You go. Even the people that love it go. You have no idea.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

You have no idea how much it sucks. I'll tell you why it sucks. And we own.

[Tim Dillon]

That's cuz we love it.

[Rick Glassman]

Cuz we love it.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Tim Dillon]

And my wife's a. You ever going to leave her? Of course not.

[Unknown]

Exactly. I love whore.

[Rick Glassman]

Right? That's the. You know.

[Unknown]

But you don't have to blow New York every day because it's already great. And look, it's got its problems too.

[Tim Dillon]

No. But this part of living here is being in a constant state of irritation because minute to minute, there's more frustration in New York, there's more stimulation. You're gonna get bumped by a crazy person more often. There's more people on each block, there's less space. You're navigating, you're going to be more frustrated here, but at the end of the day you're still like, good place to live.

[Rick Glassman]

Part of the thing also too is it's the worst of the right and the worst of the left. Like everyone's either like a proud boy who's like ready to get in a brawl or it's like a non binary blue hair Dreadlock gremlin.

[Tim Dillon]

They push each other to further.

[Rick Glassman]

What is it? You go, is there any normal human. Is there like a person? Normal people are like college kids or, you know, tourists.

[Unknown]

That's a good point.

[Tim Dillon]

Interesting. Yeah. No, I think they. They push each other so much that they end up, like, circling around and becoming the same thing.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, it's just like a weird.

[Unknown]

Well, the problem with New York and la, they're so different. Like, New York is like a family that's constantly yelling at each other and like, shut the up. You're like, jesus Christ, my family's dysfunctional. Then you go to LA and no one talks. That's like a family who doesn't. Never speaks. And like, so which one is better? That's why it's good. You do both.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You go back and forth.

[Rick Glassman]

Because in LA it is lonely and weird. Yes. Soulless and vapid and strange and cold and isolating and, you know, it really is a hard place. And, you know, it's. It's, you know, it's. It's. There's. But it's. There's a weird seductiveness to it because, like, it is pretty and it smells nice. It's got honeysuckle and jasmine. Weirdly mysterious. And you keep thinking it's gonna get better and it never does. You keep having this vision of the life you'd like to live there if you had the right friends, were in a good relationship, or if you had all the things that, like, I'm like, well, if I had a mar. Type show and I had 10 writers, we all went in and hung out every day. Never like that. The perfect version that it could be.

[Tim Dillon]

Like that for you at some point.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, who knows?

[Unknown]

It never happens.

[Rick Glassman]

Never happens. And then you're always like, on a. On a canyon alone, thinking of killing yourself. And then you had. You got to come back here and have like a bowl of pasta.

[Unknown]

And there's a community. I think there's more community in the comedy New York.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, there's more hanging out too.

[Rick Glassman]

That's also like, there's young comics, there's older Com. In la, it's very. Which I kind of like about a little bit is like. It's just very. You'd go, you do your work and you leave. There's something nice about that.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

Because New York, as you get older, the hanging out all the time, you.

[Tim Dillon]

Don'T have to hang.

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Tim Dillon]

You don't just go in.

[Unknown]

But you can't leave.

[Rick Glassman]

But.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, but the culture of it is.

[Rick Glassman]

But I like something nice about you're in your car and you do a bit and you get in your car and then you're alone. And that loneliness can actually add to like what you're doing.

[Unknown]

Oh yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

No one's in my head except me.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

And I think some of those things are, can be good.

[Tim Dillon]

But you're also like a guy who I feel like your mind doesn't shut off and you're very in your head. So that might actually be a bonus for you to just be like, okay, like idea is jokes like that, you know.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's good to just take a walk around like a, you know, an area and just like, you know. But. But then you also got to realize there's the, the holidays are so bad there because there's no soulful. Yeah, there's nothing there that feed. Nothing's real there.

[Unknown]

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[Tim Dillon]

I love, I mean, hey, you know, Brunson's getting over 30, I'll tell you that. It's the playoffs, baby.

[Unknown]

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[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I mean all the stuff that I just said bad about Austin and I'll continue to. There is more of a soul in Texas than there is in California.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

California is soul. Texas has a soul and California doesn't have a soul. I know offense to anyone who lives there, but you don't have a soul. Not everyone needs a soul. There's actually nothing wrong with not having this.

[Unknown]

I would say LA has no soul. I think other parts of California have some. So I think San Fran in the 90s had a lot of soul. I think.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You go to San Diego, that Feels like Dan Dale has like some family value going on.

[Rick Glassman]

Off. There's something off where every film noir.

[Tim Dillon]

Takes place in la.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It's about, you know, disappointment and broken people and.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

And. And someone. And some hot dame you over.

[Rick Glassman]

The Mexicans have souls.

[Unknown]

There you go.

[Rick Glassman]

Let's just say that Coco. The Mexicans have souls.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

Sounds like a Christmas album. Carlson, Tim and Tucker Christmas. The Mexicans have souls, but the problem.

[Unknown]

Is they'll be leaving soon. So there goes the soul, folks. Solo so long. Look at those el salves.

[Tim Dillon]

How is your life different when you're.

[Unknown]

Like, what's a human centipede? Sorry.

[Tim Dillon]

What's your routine different day to day in la, to New York?

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I just walk around more here and get, you know, you go to coffee with people and kind of like see people and you just, you just, you know, like, you see people and you just talk more with people and LA is just kind of like, you got to make plans with people because everyone lives far away. So. Yeah, all right, I'll do this with you on this day. And then that's the whole day. And then, you know. But what I loved is like when Malibu wasn't, you'd go, you'd swim in the ocean, you'd take a walk on the beach, you'd go back, you do spots, you'd sleep really well, you'd get up the next day. It was like a good.

[Tim Dillon]

You felt healthier, you felt.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I don't know about healthier, but you feel like you're, it's, you're in an area where you can like, life do. Yeah, quality of life. You could do some cool stuff like New York comics. Come in, you go. We'll go to the beach, we'll go get sushi and we'll do a bunch of spots and it's a full day.

[Unknown]

That's nice.

[Rick Glassman]

It's a nice day. But now that we don't have that because Malibu's on fire, it's. Then it's harder. Yeah, and it's harder. It's kind of shitty. But New York is more spontaneous. You just walk around and you know, get into.

[Unknown]

Now this is a dumb, like a news style question, but do you think LA is gonna be hit with these fires? The regulations might slow down. Maybe they'll take a hint and, and, and change a little because, you know, you can't do anything there. The rules are out of control. The regulation. Build a pool for 30 years.

[Rick Glassman]

I think they.

[Unknown]

Are they gonna rewrite the ship and, and save LA or Is it to Hell no.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I'll just say this. Every time something happens, people go, this is the thing.

[Tim Dillon]

Right?

[Rick Glassman]

And then it's never really the thing. So I don't know if. If the reason LA is able to run is because you have like this economy in Northern California that's like $8 trillion because it's all the big tech companies and they kind of run it off that, like the way that California is able to run. They run it off this really consolidated huge bundle of money. What if they leave Northern California? They're not going to leave.

[Tim Dillon]

All right?

[Rick Glassman]

Because they got to recruit out of Stanford. That's one of the reasons Austin didn't work. You can't recruit at a Rice University in Houston. Houston. Do it a little bit. You need Stanford. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, people talk about, oh, is this thing going to be the new Hollywood? You go, no, Hollywood's dead forever.

[Unknown]

Right?

[Rick Glassman]

But the Hollywood, you can't just make a thing what you want it to be in a week. You can't just. No, Miami's the new Wall Street. You just can't do that. No. You know what I mean? It just doesn't work like that. Areas of cultures that develop for very long periods of time, and there's a lot of reasons that, like, for example, people go, why is Palm Springs a thing? You go, well, it was 99 miles away from Paramount, and there was a clause in everybody's contract that while we're editing the movie, you can't be more than 200 miles away. So everybody drove 99 miles and found this beautiful desert and said, we're going to make it a hot place.

[Tim Dillon]

I didn't know that.

[Rick Glassman]

There's a reason that everything's every. Nothing's an accident.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Everything's developed in a certain way. Where you go, you go, oh, well, we'll. We'll just move all the tech things somewhere else. You go, yeah, but the literal Ivy League school that has the biggest. All of these tech guys are coming out of is Stanford.

[Tim Dillon]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

So you can't. Can't you. You know, that's one of the reasons that Stanford, Stanford and the Bay Area is the Bay Area. Right. Like, it's not just an act, you know? So I think that, like, that's difficulty about, you know, completely agree.

[Unknown]

You can't take Hollywood and go, it's gonna be in Houston now.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Unknown]

That's never gonna work. But I do think you can start a new thing that could become.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Like Edison, New Jersey is where Movie started. Thomas Edison with the film reel, he had all these rules. Everybody said this, let's go to California, there's more daylight, there's cheap land.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Unknown]

And then they started Hollywood and that's how Hollywood started. All these Jews, writers, all that got together. Edison is dead. Now it's all Indian.

[Tim Dillon]

Well also how many movies are being filmed?

[Rick Glassman]

I follow that right up to the end. You said it's all India.

[Unknown]

Indians.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, Indians, Indians.

[Unknown]

Edison has been, is, is now Indian.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, it's Indians.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I think they run Hollywood.

[Rick Glassman]

I didn't know what Hollywood taking over Hollywood.

[Unknown]

I go, no, no. Have you seen the Searchers have taken over Edison.

[Tim Dillon]

But no, but now.

[Rick Glassman]

Funniest racism. To be like these Indians in Hollywood. I can't get anywhere with these dot.

[Unknown]

They took the cabs and the, the bodegas, I'll give them that. But not and Edison. Right, Hollywood.

[Tim Dillon]

No, but how many movies like can afford to shoot in California?

[Rick Glassman]

None. They made a big mistake.

[Tim Dillon]

That's a, that's a big problem.

[Rick Glassman]

They destroyed their whole.

[Tim Dillon]

It's hard to shoot a movie in New York too. I mean how expensive it is.

[Unknown]

They go to Toronto, Atlanta, New Orleans.

[Rick Glassman]

Never should have let any productions leave because that to me, once you let them all leave and people go, oh, we don't have to live here, then nobody's who's going to live there. Right.

[Unknown]

They literally said, I think Ben Affleck just came out on a rant and said it's cheaper to ship the crew to Ireland and shoot there than to go across the Radford.

[Tim Dillon]

Look how they did the Brutalist. They shot it in all in Europe.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Really?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. None of that was in America.

[Rick Glassman]

LA just becomes a vassal state of China. They're buying all the big real estate now. Truly.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

75% of people buying high end real estate in Los Angeles are Chinese now. So if you're selling a property over $10 million, at least 50% of them right now are being bought by foreign money and heavily Chinese. Well that's a couple of Saudis, couple of this, couple of that. But it's no longer a play. The head of the studio isn't living there anymore. It's the Chinese amusement.

[Tim Dillon]

Where are they living now?

[Rick Glassman]

They're, you know, they, they maybe are splitting time. They are there, you know, some of them, a lot of them are still there but they've downsized there. Some of them, you know, have gone somewhere else, you know.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I heard it's all Indian.

[Rick Glassman]

No, it's a lot of Indians.

[Unknown]

Yeah. God, this is wild.

[Rick Glassman]

There's not enough, there's not enough American money to, to, to. To just like New York. There's not enough American money to run these cities.

[Unknown]

Really?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Terrifying.

[Rick Glassman]

No, they're global. You take farm money out of the city, the real estate values will crash 40%.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. 50. Easily. Easily.

[Unknown]

How do we do it before in like the 50s?

[Rick Glassman]

Well, in the 50s you weren't number one. You didn't, you didn't have 200 million dollar apartment.

[Tim Dillon]

And also people could afford homes back then. You could have a regular job and.

[Unknown]

They should go back to that.

[Rick Glassman]

Look at CEO pay wasn't like a million times what a worker made. Like there was more of a value. But now you have. And Also in the 50s, all the countries, they didn't have billionaires in those countries. Right. Like you didn't have like now you have, India's coming up, China's there.

[Unknown]

Oh yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Russia has tons of wealth. You know, Brazil, all these emerging market, whatever. Forget the Middle east, right. I mean, Dubai, Qatar, all these.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

They all have the money now to come in here and buy tons and tons of real estate. And without them, you know, you. The average condo price in Manhattan I think is $2.3 million, which is way higher than it should be without foreign money. That falls to probably about a million bucks, which is still a lot of money.

[Unknown]

But isn't that good? Then we can.

[Rick Glassman]

No, well, listen, it is good in certain ways.

[Unknown]

No one has a house anymore.

[Rick Glassman]

No, I agree with you and I think it might be good. But if you're invested, if your 401k, it will not be good for that because all of you have a place. All of your investments, even if you're a teacher, are tied into these big companies like BlackRock. And that's why that, this is why they do it. This. So they get everybody integrated. So they go, sure, you want to do this? We'll pull the plug and everybody loses. Right?

[Tim Dillon]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

All your 401ks are indexed to these stocks. These stocks are based on. What do you think all these, all these private equity companies are doing?

[Unknown]

Right? Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

So all of if these companies tumble because the prices of things tumble, I mean, it becomes a problem.

[Unknown]

Yikes.

[Rick Glassman]

So it's a big scam.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

But I think if you unwind it now, it could be ugly.

[Tim Dillon]

Right.

[Unknown]

Interesting.

[Tim Dillon]

It's bad, but undone, it could be.

[Rick Glassman]

Worse that it might be. Well, you know, it's a big club.

[Unknown]

And you ain't in it.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, we're all in it. That's really that's actually the worst thing.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

We're all, to some degree in it.

[Unknown]

Oh, it's so funny when people get offended by. And then we're living in this hellscape of, like, Chinese money.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yikes.

[Tim Dillon]

I gotta ask you this because Chrissy told this story about Emma Stone and you on the podcast.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Does she hate you?

[Unknown]

You.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know if she hates me, but she. She didn't like me because of, like, an incident in, like, a sushi place in Sushi Park. No, it's not. You're not gonna find it.

[Tim Dillon]

Trigger finger.

[Rick Glassman]

But no, she. She didn't like. Whatever. Like, she was in a sushi place that we both like going to, and there was, like, we didn't know whose table it was or whatever. And she didn't like. There's a couple of looks being thrown and that. What comments. You know, it's okay.

[Unknown]

Interesting.

[Rick Glassman]

You know.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I heard Bill Burr, somebody goes, you want to meet Obama? He goes, no, I don't want to be Obama. Like, you don't like Obama? He's like, no, I just want to be able to make fun of him.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Unknown]

If I meet him, I can't shit on him.

[Rick Glassman]

I didn't want to go to the inauguration because I go. I want to be able to say whatever I want.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Rick Glassman]

And if I go and I. Then I feel weird about saying it.

[Unknown]

Maybe that makes sense.

[Tim Dillon]

I think that's the move, as a comedian.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

What. Are there any people who have reached out who you trash on your podcast where you're like, I feel a little bad. I shit on them, or.

[Unknown]

No, some people like it.

[Rick Glassman]

No one really reached. No one reaches out. And they're usually. Usually as big figures that are not. Not like, people like Meghan Markle don't care. That's why she succeeds. She doesn't care. She knows she leans in.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

And that's why it works.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Is it work? I feel like. I guess she's just failing upward. I feel like everything she does seems like not.

[Rick Glassman]

It doesn't right now. I think part of it is just being famous, whether you're liked or hated.

[Tim Dillon]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know if it matters if people like you or hate you. It's like, obviously you don't want to be hated. I guess some people don't want to, but. Yeah, I don't think she really cares. She doesn't seem to care.

[Unknown]

Yeah. My neighbors in Brooklyn are British, and they're like, we hate Meghan Markle. She ruined the royal family. We hate her show, too. We just finished it.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Unknown]

So, like, they. They watch the show because they hate her.

[Rick Glassman]

No, you gotta hate.

[Tim Dillon]

Watch the stern thing.

[Unknown]

Yes, yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Do you listen?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Who. Who likes you?

[Rick Glassman]

They listen more.

[Tim Dillon]

People don't like you listen more.

[Rick Glassman]

So I think. I think that's the move, you know?

[Unknown]

Yikes. And Megan Markle's not gonna. She doesn't know. What a pod.

[Rick Glassman]

She doesn't care. Somebody showed her a clip of me, probably, and she goes, who cares?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Fat idiots. I just scammed the prince.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Rick Glassman]

I just conned the royal family. What do I care what they say?

[Tim Dillon]

I wonder what that. I wonder what that behind closed doors is like.

[Unknown]

Oh, it can't be.

[Rick Glassman]

She knew what she was doing, I think, and I think it was. It was actually smart. She was like this. She goes this.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, she knew he didn't he court her. He saw her on TV and was like, I want her.

[Unknown]

I guess.

[Rick Glassman]

No, there's no way.

[Unknown]

I mean, that's what I heard. But I think she did the. The back work, by the way.

[Tim Dillon]

That is a cool level of success. You're like her.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yeah, for sure. But I think what was great about her, she's like, I'm so into. Like, in the beginning, she was so into. You watch that documentary, Henry. She was so into it in the beginning. She's, like, doing the appearances, everything like that. The deal with the British royal family is they. The. The people pay for their lifestyles. So the people. Hey. Their taxes allow these people to live like. Like Disney characters.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And. And it's a strange tradition, but the payment for that.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Is that they. You. They get to know everything about your life. Meaning, like, it's the ultimate reality show to them. They don't have the Kardashians, they have the royal family.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

So they. It's these. These women in, like, Putney or whatever, these little places. You know what? Sky's cancer. What cancer does she have? And they're into it because that's their entertainment. Yes. And then Megan Marco came in and goes, what do you mean, you want a picture of my kid? And you go, it's our kid.

[Tim Dillon]

Right?

[Rick Glassman]

We pay for the school of this and. And you people belong to us. She didn't. She had to know that. You can't not know that going in.

[Unknown]

So Princess D in a car crash was like. Like, that's a ratings bonanza for them.

[Rick Glassman]

It was the season finale. That is the season finale of er. It's Juliana Margulies, including Will. They won't they.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's just like, hey, we eliminated a character. We had to write you off.

[Rick Glassman]

It's big. So. But that's the. That's the game over there. It's like, they don't. They're obsessed with those people.

[Unknown]

Obsessed.

[Rick Glassman]

Princess Beatrice. These people look like they got hit in the mouth with a golf club up.

[Unknown]

I know, but none of them.

[Tim Dillon]

It's like the Wire. You're like, who's that character again?

[Rick Glassman]

Are hot. It doesn't matter. They're just royals. And they're upset because that's. By the way, if you take away the royal family over there, what do you have? That's the question. Like, here's the thing about America. If you take away the president. Yeah. If you take away the president in America, you can't. Even though, like, let's say the country would still kind of run you.

[Unknown]

I mean, Jesus, I'm eating here. Well, at least our. Our celebrities are attractive.

[Rick Glassman]

But by the way, it's. It's in bread, it's in breeding.

[Unknown]

Yeah, of course. Look at the plug on that.

[Tim Dillon]

That would be a toothy BJ right there. That's a tough one.

[Unknown]

Yeah. There goes Big Ben. Holy hell.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean.

[Tim Dillon]

The funniest thing I've heard.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Tim Dillon]

My.

[Unknown]

Somebody get a. Of Karen.

[Rick Glassman]

It's like we're obsessed with the president. Everyone writes about the president. They're obsessed with these people.

[Unknown]

Sure, sure.

[Rick Glassman]

They love it.

[Unknown]

At least Trump is saying. Crazy that you're like, did you hear what Trump said? That was crazy.

[Rick Glassman]

But these people, they're so boring.

[Unknown]

They're boring.

[Rick Glassman]

They're incredibly boring until they start cheating on each other or killing each other.

[Tim Dillon]

The only interesting story is the one they won't talk about, which is Prince Andrew.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, they keep them nice and locked up.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Well, the. We watched the Crown. That was it.

[Tim Dillon]

That was a good show.

[Unknown]

Good show.

[Tim Dillon]

First couple seasons, at least were pretty good. Yeah, there's a. Yeah, was a good Churchill.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, he's great.

[Unknown]

But, yeah, you're right. That is their reality show, and it's literal reality.

[Rick Glassman]

That's what it is.

[Unknown]

And it's perfect. Is the. Harry is the up.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You know, he goes and marries the black chick. He moves away, and then the other guy went bald. But his wife is a. Is a class act.

[Tim Dillon]

It's like you were saying it was like 90s, right? Racism. But they were holding on to that shit.

[Rick Glassman]

That's right. But it probably wasn't even that bad. It was probably, like, very polite racism.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, did you hear what she said the. The most racist thing she's ever heard.

[Rick Glassman]

What?

[Tim Dillon]

Someone in the family said, oh, he's so pink and you're light brown. I wonder what color the baby will be. And she was like, this is the most racist thing I've ever heard. Sure.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, listen, maybe it was the way they said it was indelicate, but it was probably not minor curiosity. Like, of course, what color do you think it would be?

[Tim Dillon]

It also sucks to be described as light pink. Think. Yeah, that's kind of rough, too.

[Rick Glassman]

A little bit duskier. What do you think's coming out of your love?

[Unknown]

Well, Chris Rock had that great bit. He's like, that ain't racist. Black people do that to black people. Like, oh, I hope he's not too dark. You know, he did it better.

[Rick Glassman]

But I. I like her. I like her now. I think she's. I think she's won me over.

[Unknown]

Really? Wow. She's got the cupcake show now or whatever.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, she's not only that, she's. To me, the best thing in the world is somebody who goes, oh, you hate me. Good. You'll really hate this.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

Like that. To me, I go, by the way, it gives you nowhere to go.

[Unknown]

She's a heel.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. There's nowhere to go now.

[Unknown]

Right. Interesting.

[Tim Dillon]

How long do you think people are going to care about her?

[Rick Glassman]

She'll get. She'll milk this for a few years.

[Unknown]

She'll keep working, and then she's going.

[Rick Glassman]

To have to throw him away or he's going to have to throw her away, or they're going to have to go back to the UK. But I predict they're going back to the UK.

[Unknown]

Oh, 100% they're going back. Yeah, that'll.

[Rick Glassman]

I predict they're going back to the uk. It's going to be a whole thing. It's season three.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

It's season three.

[Unknown]

Pearl clinching. The fan is gonna go, I never.

[Rick Glassman]

It's season three. Charles is gonna croak.

[Unknown]

Yep.

[Rick Glassman]

He's gonna come back right before the dad croaks. He's gonna have a deathbed. Make peace with his father. His father's gonna go, I also had many. I also dated blacks.

[Unknown]

Yes. They were brown.

[Rick Glassman]

He's gonna go, and. And then they're gonna be back and the brother's gonna be reunited and it's back. And then in Britain's like, let's watch it.

[Unknown]

Take that to the bank. And you know what? She's gonna black it up. She's gonna walk in there with a boom. Box on her shoulder. Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

Purple box.

[Unknown]

Break dancing into the castle.

[Rick Glassman]

A thousand percent in living color black.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Gold teeth grill. Big sneakers shooting up the place. It's gonna be great.

[Rick Glassman]

Dapping up trump, grape drink, you name it. Yeah. Well, that's good.

[Unknown]

I think that. I think you just sold season five of that's It. Royal Queefs.

[Tim Dillon]

If they're listening.

[Rick Glassman]

Season six is it's all Indians. And it will just all be is India.

[Tim Dillon]

These fucking Indians are running this script room.

[Unknown]

Well, a lot of Indians in England.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes. Good Indian, good Indian food.

[Unknown]

Great curry over there.

[Rick Glassman]

Shishma Hall, a block from the Stand Comedy club in Glasgow, Scotland, maybe.

[Unknown]

Oh, really?

[Tim Dillon]

You got to hit us with some food racks because you are like you. By the way, you gave us a food wreck in one place.

[Rick Glassman]

Was it good?

[Tim Dillon]

It was good. And you're the one of the only people Veder will let.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You've earned his respect as a food. He's a snobby hunt.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You've earned his respect.

[Rick Glassman]

Where was it? Do you remember?

[Tim Dillon]

I forgot where. It was a seafood place somewhere, but interesting. But you. It was Chicago. It did. No, I have a spot in Chicago. I go to Charlotte's Crab House in Chicago. That's what I go to there. But Stephano and I got fucking lit up last time we were there and ended up. He books us on a boat. We had like five martinis each. And he's like, we have one of his kids with him and his girlfriend. And he's like, I got us a boat tour. And I'm like, ah, that'll be nice. We'll get hammered. We're talking. It's with a guide. So we just have to sit there quietly as a guide's like. And here's this. We're just like. We're just like, cool.

[Rick Glassman]

You can tell them to shut up. Here's how much money. We don't care.

[Unknown]

That's true. Push them over like Robert Wagner.

[Tim Dillon]

But now you've earned. Give us some. Give us some food spots. New York, Louisiana. Where should we go?

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I don't know anymore.

[Unknown]

Gotta be a steakhouse.

[Rick Glassman]

Texas. There's a great place in an alley. There's a junkie who's got really good, good. But this is the type of fentanyl where you're not dead.

[Unknown]

It's just.

[Rick Glassman]

You get real. You get real warm inside. No, I don't. I don't. I don't really know. I. I've kind of retired from giving wrecks because then I'll go to A place, and I'll be like, I'll be unhappy with it. And I just, I, you know, I gotta figure it out. On your own. I don't want to give people any advertising. These people.

[Tim Dillon]

Fair enough. Fair enough.

[Rick Glassman]

I think the attack. I think Italians either. Too many Italians on social media. I think people waiting four months to eat spicy ritoni. Stupid. I think this glorification of chicken parmesan is retarded. I think, like, I agree this, this for guys who grew up in New York, like, it's a little embarrassing. I'm a little embarrassed for all these people. But I get. If you come here from Ohio, you think it's a big deal to eat, like, spicy rigatoni. It's like, my friend's mother will make you spicy rigatoni. You know what I mean? She'll tell you the earth is flat and defend January 6th.

[Tim Dillon]

But that's part of the dish.

[Rick Glassman]

But the food is good. Like, I don't know the food direction the city's going. And I actually don't like. Oh, I don't like restaurants like the corner store where they're like, hey, what's about Totino's pizza rolls? Except they're $70 because we've got. I, I, I hate all this. It's all nightclubs. It's all gross. I remember when you used to eat in a restaurant, and it was like, you dress in a suit and the chef was from France and he hated you, but he made great food and everybody.

[Tim Dillon]

I love that you're, like, dressed in a suit. You look like you're Sandler right now, going to a pickup game.

[Rick Glassman]

Pressured to act a certain way.

[Unknown]

Right?

[Rick Glassman]

I just. We had lunch at Luger. It was just.

[Tim Dillon]

Now it was bad.

[Unknown]

I never, I thought it was.

[Tim Dillon]

By the way, which. He's my buddy there.

[Unknown]

Oh, I love Lugers.

[Rick Glassman]

I like Lugers too. But I'll tell you right now that the steak we had, it's not where it was interesting. It's not where it was.

[Tim Dillon]

I was. That was like our childhood. That was like.

[Rick Glassman]

I know. I loved it.

[Tim Dillon]

There was one on Long island, but.

[Rick Glassman]

It'S just not where it was.

[Tim Dillon]

I had it. I had it recently. Was good. I. Do you ever go to Strip House?

[Rick Glassman]

Strip House is good.

[Unknown]

That's a good.

[Rick Glassman]

There's a bunch.

[Tim Dillon]

They have our whiskey too there. So we, we love.

[Rick Glassman]

Angie is really good in the Village.

[Tim Dillon]

Don Angie's very good.

[Rick Glassman]

Don Angie. Don Angie's great, right?

[Unknown]

Where's that?

[Rick Glassman]

It's in, it's by the seller it's like.

[Tim Dillon]

It's near 6th Avenue.

[Rick Glassman]

Don Angie's good. Don Angie's killing it.

[Unknown]

Know about this? Red Hook Burger?

[Rick Glassman]

It's the best. I'm friends with the guy who owns the best burger in the city. Me Schultz and Bethany Frankel had it. He has a place called Sag Harbor.

[Tim Dillon]

Bethany Frankle, 8.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, she eats all the time. You know, you can eat.

[Unknown]

Dying to go. Pull that up. Sally.

[Tim Dillon]

How about four Charles and Minetta?

[Rick Glassman]

Bur Tavern five. Fine.

[Tim Dillon]

Just fine. I love the Minetta burger.

[Rick Glassman]

The Manetta burger is great. It's a burger with sauteed onions on a bun.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I'll come for you. I'll do it in my apartment for you.

[Tim Dillon]

All right.

[Rick Glassman]

It's good. It's not bad.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, it's not bad. The chocolate souffle was great. It used to be.

[Unknown]

Burger's on a wait list. You got to wait nine years to get this.

[Rick Glassman]

This guy has created the best burger in the world. He.

[Unknown]

Wow. We gotta go there.

[Rick Glassman]

He's great. It's the legendary. Sag Harbor Tavern is easier to get into in. Out east in the Hamptons.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Rick Glassman]

I should come out one day. We'll all go. I love, love to do an episode from there. Hang out, swim in the pool, do whatever. But he kills it, this guy. I love this.

[Unknown]

What's so great about it? What's the difference?

[Rick Glassman]

Looks like the burger sits on an onion.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

So the juice from the burger cooks the onion, but it doesn't make the bun soggy.

[Tim Dillon]

Whoa.

[Unknown]

Science.

[Rick Glassman]

Science.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, I've heard this. Is this. Whenever you see it sits on a.

[Rick Glassman]

Raw onion, it puts the burger in the onion, but the onion itself starts to get cooked by the burger. So it's like a half cooked onion.

[Unknown]

Interesting.

[Rick Glassman]

And the bun doesn't get all up. And then the cheese is perfect. And then. I got to be honest, I love ketchup. I don't even use ketchup with it. Yeah. It's the best thing I've ever had in my. It's one of the best things I've ever had in my life.

[Unknown]

This is a big endorse.

[Tim Dillon]

We should. We should figure it out.

[Unknown]

We got to go.

[Rick Glassman]

He deserves it. He's a good person. He's a great guy. And, you know, he's created a thing that's really made our city better.

[Unknown]

This is way better than the Cronut people.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm just running for city council. Like, we want you to talk about education.

[Unknown]

What? Mayor Adams, is he out?

[Tim Dillon]

Oh, by the way, I. I knew he'd come out of him. He was like, I don't want to give any. An advertisement.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. But now, no. This is because you know what it is? I'll do something. And then I'll be like, oh, then I'll go. I did it recently. I told someone, I said something. Oh, that place is great. Then I went and go, oh, it sucks. Oh, this is the best burger in the city.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

That's best burger in the United States of America right now.

[Tim Dillon]

Wow.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Let's go the other way. Do you guys have any peeves? Anything's pissing you off? I got a ton of peeves.

[Unknown]

Pull them up.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, I wrote some down.

[Unknown]

Something that bugs.

[Tim Dillon]

Let me give you a couple peeves. Peeve. I wrote some down so I don't forget.

[Unknown]

I had one today that just annoyed me. It's not really a peeve, like, but it was a specific thing. I'm trying to garden. Yeah, I got a bunch of. Really? I went to a plant nursery. Well, my. In my neighborhood is get a little high end. So they're all looking at my house like, hey, you're the white trash douche on the block. Like, you got to step it up, right? And it's all these, like, rich parents. And so I went to the nursery, I picked out a bunch of. It cost me $8 million. I lugged it all back to the house. And I'm in the dirt with a spoon, trying to put some plants in, and this old guy walks by and he goes, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm trying to spruce up the front lawn area. And he's like, you're doing it all wrong. You got a crack in your sidewalk. You got to change that. There's graffiti on your wall. And I'm like, all right, old man. Like, I'm on my knees here. I'm trying.

[Tim Dillon]

Is that his way of trying to help, or is he just annoying?

[Unknown]

I think he's just a dick. He's just, like, mansplaining me about how to garden and how my house sucks. And he's like, you got to step it up. And I'm like, I don't even know.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't like that he attacked you.

[Unknown]

Hello.

[Rick Glassman]

You were vulnerable. You're putting bulbs in. Yes. And then an old guy comes and just goes at you.

[Unknown]

I mean, it was bad. I was on my hands and knees with an apron on my. My underwear.

[Tim Dillon]

I can't believe you're gardening. You're like, that's like real, dad.

[Unknown]

I know, but you're becoming that, like, playing like herbs. Yeah, I'll do it all.

[Rick Glassman]

That's good. You get an herb.

[Tim Dillon]

No, it's very. I have. I have it on my. I have a terrace. I have stuff.

[Unknown]

Oh, you do?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, but I'm on the road. I always come to it. I'm like, I don't give a shit. It's all dead when I come back.

[Unknown]

That's gonna happen with me and the kid.

[Rick Glassman]

You guys know. You guys know Tracy?

[Unknown]

Morgan Carnazo.

[Rick Glassman]

So she planted fruit in. Out east in my house at East. And then the bugs went crazy and. And then there's just bugs all over the place in the back.

[Unknown]

So don't do fruit, okay?

[Rick Glassman]

Because they'll go nuts. These the bugs.

[Unknown]

All right, I got.

[Tim Dillon]

I got a good peeve, people who put in the seltzer thing the wrong way.

[Unknown]

The seltzer thing.

[Tim Dillon]

You know, the seltzer cans. You put them in vertically instead of horizontal or horizontally instead of vertically. You open it, they come out right. This is a bad. I have two bad.

[Unknown]

In the crisper. Oh, oh, I got you.

[Tim Dillon]

These are both bad ones. I'm sorry.

[Unknown]

I get that.

[Tim Dillon]

I've only bad ones today.

[Unknown]

The avalanche.

[Tim Dillon]

We haven't done peeps in a while. Yeah, I wasn't prepared. Prepared. I up.

[Unknown]

I don't mind the cells.

[Tim Dillon]

I'm a cunt. Let me. Let me grunt to get out of this. To pretend I'm.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah. What else is a peeve? I had a couple.

[Tim Dillon]

I had a couple. God damn it. I don't even know. I wrote these down. These aren't even good.

[Unknown]

Well, they hit. Here's a peeve.

[Rick Glassman]

And everyone's probably had it. If the restaurant's completely empty and they go, do you have a reservation? I get angry at that because you go, why? You know what I mean? Like, why are you asking me if I had a reservation? Because your restaurant's empty. But my friend told me. Oh, yeah, my friend told me. Worked at a restaurant. They're actually. Just want to cross your name off. Yeah, you have a reservation. But I'm like, well, annoying thing.

[Tim Dillon]

I was annoying.

[Unknown]

I learned the hard way. Because they go, we're. Well, you got a 20 minute wait. And you're like, well, that table's open there. And they're like, yeah, there's not enough servers.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't like that. Everything's key fobs now in the buildings to get anywhere.

[Unknown]

Everything.

[Rick Glassman]

Key fob here, key fob there. There's a level of security that I think is a little unnecessary. Necessary.

[Unknown]

You like a key?

[Rick Glassman]

Well, it's not only that. It's like, it's a doorman building. Like, are there people running in with knives trying to kill? Like, what's he gonna not notice?

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

Like, there's just something weird about, like, I don't know, the. The level of security that everything is.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's annoying. I will say, when you ever check in a hotel and they give you a hard metal, you're like, oh, I hate that. This is a bad hotel.

[Rick Glassman]

I hate that.

[Unknown]

And they think it's kitschy.

[Tim Dillon]

Although, I'll tell you the worst one is when you check in and they give you. You're in a huge hotel for some reason, and the card keeps flipping. Not work.

[Rick Glassman]

I always get. By the way.

[Tim Dillon]

They hate me.

[Rick Glassman]

I get a new card every time I walk in. I go, I know it's not gonna work. I go, it's been next to it.

[Tim Dillon]

I've done that.

[Rick Glassman]

It's next to a credit card in my wallet. I go, I just re. Redo it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I go, I'm gonna get there, and then it's not gonna work.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Tim Dillon]

Because I hate the walk. The walk back is annoying.

[Unknown]

We have all this. We have retina scan. We can't get a card to work. Like, what are we doing here? It's a Hilton.

[Tim Dillon]

Oh, speaking of hotels, no hand lotion in your room.

[Unknown]

Oh, you want to jerk it.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, you're gonna make me go down to the front desk and be like.

[Rick Glassman]

I need to jerk off. But I like, I appreciate. It's a very creepy.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, I mean, he looks the part.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

He's like, come on.

[Rick Glassman]

He goes, no hand lotion in the.

[Unknown]

Room, and there's no kitty porn options on the tv. You know what? Another problem was with a hotel? And I'm not the first guy to say this, but the. There's no plunger. Sometimes you're on a. You're on a hot date with a. With a bang. With a gal, and you just shit up the toilet. It won't flush. And you're like, I got to get on my hands and knees.

[Tim Dillon]

I got to go one further. I want a toilet brush. I'm on the road. I might have traveler's diarrhea.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay, well, that's ridiculous.

[Unknown]

That's complete.

[Rick Glassman]

You want to get on your hands and knees like a maid. I mean, give yourself a value.

[Unknown]

Crazy.

[Rick Glassman]

I might want to scrape my own diarrhea off the inside toilet. I like that. Job well done.

[Unknown]

You're not living there.

[Tim Dillon]

Just leave this has not been my strongest. I apologize.

[Unknown]

I'll get you a toilet brush for Christmas. That's your gift.

[Tim Dillon]

All right, well, watch Tim's new special. We love him.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm your mother. It's all Indians on Netflix. That's what it's called.

[Unknown]

Hey, that's. Is that John Daly?

[Rick Glassman]

That's a shot at the Ice House. There's no dates. I have no dates. I said no material. There's no dates on sale.

[Unknown]

Well, don't you hate that? You put out a special and people go, we loved it. We want to come see you. And you're like, I'm out of material.

[Rick Glassman]

I have nothing. Yeah, I will. I will. I will get it. This is. I'm doing Spanish. There's me. Comedy in French. Tim D. Shock, Spanish speaking, who runs this site, by the way.

[Tim Dillon]

Go to follow Tim on punch up.

[Unknown]

Hilaria Baldwin. What's with the Spanish? How you talk to Baldwin, by the way?

[Rick Glassman]

He's great.

[Unknown]

I love.

[Rick Glassman]

He's.

[Tim Dillon]

I see him all the time in my coffee shop.

[Rick Glassman]

Great, man.

[Unknown]

I'm a fan. He looks a little on edge. I think the wife is really running him ragged, but he's got a lot of kids.

[Tim Dillon]

We got Phoenix. Oh, so here's San Francisco at the Masonic.

[Rick Glassman]

Portland.

[Tim Dillon]

I added a late one on Monday, so please come, come out. Seattle, Vancouver, Boise, Denver. And then we just added Red Bank. Boston, Irvine, okc. Yeah. Work back up Vegas at the Venetian. Is that the Venetian, I think, right? What does this. Piazzo theater at the Venetian Resort. Okay, cool. Rochester. I like that club a lot. And then we got Chicago theater. That's a big one. Chicago, October 4th. Going back to Salt Lake again to just get some reps in. And then we got Carnegie Hall. December 4th. Please come out.

[Rick Glassman]

That's a big Chicago theater theater. And people might disagree. I think maybe best comedy venue in the country.

[Tim Dillon]

I don't even think that's a hot take. Great, because it's big, but it feels intimate and it feels like a road gig.

[Rick Glassman]

But it's the, like, it's the best version of the roads. You're in a great city.

[Tim Dillon]

I love Chicago.

[Rick Glassman]

That's a couple hour flight away. It's great food, great walking, great chilling, and then a great show. And the crowds, I think are some of the most amazing because it's like.

[Tim Dillon]

You get that city vibe. But Midwest, like, Midwest is really good. I just performed for the first time ever in Des Moines, Iowa.

[Unknown]

It was one of my Des Moines killer.

[Tim Dillon]

Amazing.

[Rick Glassman]

Midwest is great.

[Tim Dillon]

Midwest. And also.

[Rick Glassman]

And the Masonics is one of the best venues.

[Tim Dillon]

I've never done it, actually, so I'm fired up, dude.

[Rick Glassman]

It's amazing. Don't go outside. They'll kill you.

[Tim Dillon]

Don't kill me, but get a little soda.

[Rick Glassman]

Best Chinese food in the world.

[Tim Dillon]

Yang Sing.

[Rick Glassman]

Or any of them. I don't know him, but they're all good.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, I love. I love sf, dude, but, yeah, I'm fired up, man.

[Unknown]

Oh, that hurt.

[Tim Dillon]

That was a weak one.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that was weak. Sorry.

[Tim Dillon]

Mark's dates. May 7th in re.

[Unknown]

I mean, going to full UK. Reykjavik, Glasgow. Go to that pizza joint you mentioned. United Kingdom, London, Belfast, Birmingham, Bristol. And then back into upstate New York to get my ass kicked in Rochester at the Kodak Center. Port Chester, Albany, Burlington, Wisconsin, Massachusetts. San Jose, Ben, Salem. I'll see you at the Foxwoods. And then off to Australia. So a lot of dates. The baby's dead, we're getting back on the road, and we got to make some money. Also, check out page to stage folks, Episode two out now on Punch up, and we got Seinfeld in it, Jon Stewart, Gaffigan, Bruce Springsteen, and the hot app.

[Tim Dillon]

Amazing, man.

[Unknown]

Sam.

[Tim Dillon]

Oh. Oh, hell yeah.

[Unknown]

Get bodega cat.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, Bodega Cat. Whiskey.com, dude. We're popping up everywhere. The new article in the wine is wine enthusiast.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

That was really cool. Yeah, check that article out. Really cool.

[Unknown]

And all the restaurants Tim hates, so check it out. Get a bottle, get a glass, get.

[Tim Dillon]

A cocktail, and yeah, Timmy, the best. Love you, man.

[Rick Glassman]

Thank you, guys.

[Unknown]

Thank you, Timbo.

[Rick Glassman]

Sunday's the day for my next bender. A bit of heaver wreck, you know the fear juice. Close. I've had a little too much burping, and Norman's talking about the Pope. And I get down in the same way up on the roof like the cops coming. And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. Us, I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way we might be true.