Ep 249: Ronny Chieng

Summary

We Might Be Drunk Ep 249: Ronny Chieng

Release Date: September 15, 2025
Hosts: Mark Normand & Sam Morril
Guest: Ronny Chieng

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Episode Overview

In this lively, joke-packed episode, NYC comedians Mark Normand and Sam Morril sit down with Ronny Chieng (The Daily Show, Crazy Rich Asians, Megan) to dive deep into comedy philosophies, cultural quirks, fashion in stand-up, technology's impact on creativity, and the grind of making it in show business. Ronny brings his distinctive views on everything from airline frugality to why he refuses plastic, and shares stories from his career, tours with Hasan Minhaj, and Hollywood adventures.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Bananas, American Waste, and Comic Frugality

[00:06 – 07:15]

• Ronny Chieng reveals his green room "rider" is simply: bananas, no plastic.
• Ronny rails against America's nonchalance with plastic and waste:

  "The lack of remorse about plastic in America is crazy. ... Americans don't care about plastic. You throw that shit into the river, you don't think about it." (Ronny, 01:52)

• Mark’s upbringing was "frugal, not wasteful," taking old food home and sneaking in fruit snacks to movies:

  "Hot dog from a homeless guy the other day — Mark grabbed it and finished it right in front of him." (Ronny, 05:21)

• Discussion turns to American consumer mentality and inherited thrift.

Attire in Comedy—Suits, Style, "Dress Like the Man"?

[09:20 – 16:45]

• Ronny discusses his tailored stage presence:

  "It was easier to dress like this… If you wear a suit, it’s like a cheat code." (Ronny, 10:20)

• Mark and Sam debate whether comics "should dress better than the audience," referencing Mulaney, Seinfeld.
• Ronny suggests finding style through a stylist or mixing up suits with polos for approachability.
• Memorable exchange on the incongruity of suits with their onstage personas, and which late-night looks really worked.

Comedy, Pandering, and Political Material

[18:45 – 22:45]

• Mark calls Ronny unique:

  "One of the few dudes who can do the social commentary without pandering." (Mark, 18:54)

• Ronny says most truly political stuff is channeled to The Daily Show, while his stand-up stays accessible:

  “If anything, I get all my politics out on the show, so I do stand up, I’m like, let’s do something else, you know?” (Ronny, 19:21)

• They reflect on reading audiences in purple states, the need for unpredictability, and why outright pandering or clapter is a dead end.

Unpredictability in Comedy & Film Structure

[22:45 – 27:00]

• Sam floats unpredictability as the real hook in movies and stand-up:

  "Predictability gets old. ... If you can really tap dance and make people not know where you’re going, that’s the best." (Sam, 22:41)

• Good Time (Safdie Bros.), The Long Goodbye, and other twisty films discussed as inspiration.
• Ronny doubts that comedies can break formula like dramas, but Mark and Sam point to Being John Malkovich and the unpredictability within jokes themselves.

Technological Overload, AI & Creativity

[35:01 – 44:51]

• Ronny details ditching his smartphone for an Apple Watch to avoid doom-scrolling:

  "Offline is the new luxury. We gotta spend so much money just to get offline now." (Ronny, 37:21)

• Mark and Sam discuss the iPad-like "FreeWrite" digital typewriter for distraction-free work.
• The hosts and Ronny riff on the idea of how autocorrect and then AI are making people dumber:

  "Autocorrect made us bad spellers. AI is making us bad thinkers." (Ronny, 42:48)

• Sam recalls when losing the need to remember phone numbers felt like crossing a dangerous threshold.
• The lost art of pulling out maps, giving directions, and having to call crushes on the house landline—skills now evaporating.

Comedy’s Role in Society + Career Stories

[45:22 – 53:00]

• Reflecting on how comedians “lubricate” institutional entertainment — stand-ups staff late night, warm up crowds, even ghostwrite for awards show hosts.
• Ronny shares early career stories, including Bill Burr cold-messaging him on Facebook after Just For Laughs.
• The mixture of pride and awkwardness at constantly being cast as “the Asian guy” in Hollywood, and the confusion that arises from it.

ChatGPT “Hack Check” Comedy

[53:02 – 57:34]

• The crew tests ChatGPT by asking it to write jokes for each comic’s “voice” based on a photo development premise—producing hacky, formulaic jokes but little danger to real stand-up.

• "If it's here [in ChatGPT], it's hack." (Ronny, 56:58)

Comics’ Lifelong Insecurity & The Grind

[63:03 – 66:10]

• They discuss how comics “live in fear of their next good bit,” and that good comics are never satisfied:

  "Every good comic I've met is just living in fear of their next good bit." (Sam, 64:04)

• Constraints—whether low budgets, writing clean for TV, or tough gigs—often produce the best material.

  "Constraints literally … actually is what makes it funnier." (Ronny, 66:10)

Bad Gigs, Awards Show Warm-ups, and Comic Resilience

[72:00 – 79:00]

• Mark shares infamous story of bombing while warming up the MTV Music Awards (and losing his date to Pete Davidson).
• Ronny muses about the "hell gig" of awards show warm-up, why producers really don’t care, and the existential requirement to keep taking “bad gigs” for the challenge.

• "You’re bulletproof … you heal up quickly." (Ronny on Mark, 73:37)

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Notable Quotes

• Ronny on American waste:
  "Americans don't care about plastic. ... You take the bottle, you'll throw in the river. No, no remorse." [01:52]
• On unpredictable comedy:
  "Once you let go of [trying to change the world]... what's the point with comics? You don't want claps." (Sam, 21:04)
• On comedy and fashion:
  "If you wear a suit, you just... It's like a cheat code." (Ronny, 10:20)
• On AI and hack jokes:
  "If it's here [in ChatGPT], it's hack." (Ronny, 56:58)
• On comics' insecurity:
  "Every good comic I've ever met is just living in fear of their next good bit." (Sam, 64:04)
• On the allure of constraints:
  "Sometimes the constraints are creative… it's what makes it funnier." (Ronny, 66:10)
• On producer indifference:
  "What's irritating… is when the producers don't care… They plug you in like it’s music. … We need context. We can't just throw us on like it's Metallica." (Ronny, 77:20)

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Memorable Moments & Segments

• Early Banter and Banana Buys: Lots of playful teasing around Ronny’s “organic banana” and American brand skepticism. [00:06–02:22]
• Suit Debates: Mark and Sam reminisce about bad late-night TV attire, while Ronny gives genuine fashion advice and teases Sam’s P.I. look. [09:01–16:45]
• Comedy AI Experiment: All three test ChatGPT’s joke-writing on the “90s photo development” premise. They read the jokes aloud, critiquing AI’s lack of specificity or funny, and settle that the robots are not yet a threat. [53:02–57:34]
• Mark’s MTV Bomb: Mark recounts catastrophically bombing in front of pop stars, how a friend memorialized it with a selfie, and what comics go through at these gigs. [72:00–74:24]

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Tour Plugs & Wrap-Up

[81:12–83:42]

• Ronny, Sam, and Mark run down their upcoming tour dates—including major venues in the U.S. and Europe. (See their official sites for details.)
• Shoutouts to Bob Saget, Comics Come Home in Boston, and positive stories of comedian camaraderie and resilience.
• Mark and Sam invite listeners to check out their special announcements via PunchUp.Live, and Ronny's latest Netflix specials and tour.

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Final Thoughts

This episode offers an honest—and hilarious—look into the minds of successful stand-ups: their battles with ego, creative process, and industry pitfalls. You’ll get practical tips if you’re an aspiring comic, plenty of laughs, and a unique perspective on how art, hustle, and banana-fueled pragmatism can keep you at the top of your game.

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For Listeners Short on Time:

• Bananas, plastic & comic frugality: 00:06–07:15
• Comics & attire, industry tales: 09:01–16:45
• Comedy, politics, unpredictability: 18:45–22:45
• AI & technology's impact: 35:01–44:51
• AI-vs-comic joke writing: 53:02–57:34
• Bad gig stories (MTV, etc): 72:00–79:00

Highly recommended for comedy fans, creatives juggling tech, or anyone curious about the inner workings of the stand-up world in 2025.

Transcript

[A]

Oh, we got your 78 bananas over there.

[B]

Oh, thanks.

[A]

I'll have one of you. Have one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. All right.

[B]

Boy, if we eat bananas on camera, it'll become a weird sex thing.

[A]

The views will go up.

[C]

Let's start the insanity. Yeah, we're opening with the. Let's just open with this.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So why banana? Is it. Is a banana big part of your ritual?

[B]

It's healthy. It's organic. It doesn't. There's no plastic, is it? Dude, it's more organic than.

[C]

You got this. Duane read bananas.

[A]

I should throw this on the court of an NBA game.

[B]

Wnba organic than, you know, most of anything you guys eat, probably. What do you mean, is it organic? You're literally holding a banana in your hand. You're like, is this organic?

[C]

Duane read.

[A]

Duane read. This is whack.

[C]

I hear they make great produce too. Make sure to get a kale salad from Walgreens after this sponsor us.

[B]

It doesn't stick in your teeth.

[C]

No, it's not.

[B]

It's sweet.

[A]

I eat one every morning.

[B]

No, it's the best.

[C]

Every morning.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

This is my green room. Is just bananas.

[A]

Really? Oh, damn. How much lube?

[B]

Yeah, ton of lube.

[A]

All right. Well, yeah.

[C]

Does Hassan have an annoying rider?

[B]

His rider is huge.

[C]

What's he doing?

[B]

His. His rider when I. Because it's the first time we're touring together. So I saw his writer. It's like, it's like 50 items. It's not even food. It's like, I need a pillow. I need this.

[C]

I need what kind of pillow?

[B]

Dude, I, I, I didn't read. It was like 50 items. I didn't even look in. Is I need a kettle. I need a. And I was like, you know, my green room writer is bananas and no plastic.

[A]

Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good.

[C]

What do you mean, no plastic?

[B]

I don't want plastic. Bottles and plastic. There's no plastic bottles.

[A]

Microplastic.

[B]

You guys don't care. This is. Americans don't care about plastic. Now where throw that shit into the river. You don't think about it.

[A]

We're made of plastic. I mean, we are at this point. Everybody's got a fucking plastic surgery building.

[C]

Up an immunity or something.

[B]

But you truly, you drink plastic bottles with no remorse.

[A]

All day long, both of you will.

[B]

Like, there will be a clean river right here. Bottles here, you'll just bottle. You don't care. You'll take the ball, you'll throw in the river. No, no remorse.

[A]

I don't throw it in the river. But I'll put it in my body.

[B]

I'm just saying that the plastic. The lack of remorse about plastic in America is crazy.

[A]

You're definitely right. You're onto something, but it's. It's ingrained and it's. It's everywhere. Someone hands you a bottle of water, you drink it.

[B]

Yeah. Just don't. How about don't drink it?

[C]

You don't drink. So when you get a bottle of.

[B]

Water, I give it back.

[C]

How about a glass bottle? Will you do that?

[B]

Glass bottle. I'll do it on airplanes. I give the bottle back. I'm not. I don't. I don't want.

[A]

What? If you're thirsty, I bring my own bottle.

[C]

You bring like a canteen.

[A]

Boy? The banana and the fanny pack.

[C]

Oh, my God. Look at that.

[A]

Wow. Boy Scout. Yeah. Holy shit.

[B]

I guess I'm a boy Scout. And I'm the one who cares about plastics. I'm a goddamn boy Scout because I. I'm trying not to pollute your kid. You have a baby, you sure don't care about microplastics. He has. Excuse. He has. He hasn't reproduced. He doesn't.

[C]

I'm a dialogue.

[B]

He's going to die alone. He doesn't care about next generation. You have a baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you don't care about plastic?

[A]

I guess I. I guess not. I burn it in the fireplace. I just throw it right in there. All the old bottles.

[B]

But I give it back. I go on planes. You guys go on planes and they give you the stuff. Do you give it back or you just use it one time?

[A]

I take everything they give me.

[C]

You take the. What do you take?

[A]

Like the IMAX? I got 38 of those. Oh, yeah. I got the toothbrush, the toothpaste at home. Take it on. The ear plugs. I got them all.

[C]

Classy move, if you have someone sleeping with you.

[A]

Hey, hey.

[C]

Give him a little Delta pack.

[A]

That's great. Like Jeter.

[B]

Oh, man. You giving him a gift pack.

[A]

That's not bad.

[B]

Yeah. But you. Okay. You're. I give you credit because you are actually very frugal. You're not cheap. You're very frugal.

[C]

That's a nice way to put it.

[B]

You have. You have an appreciation for.

[A]

That's our African American.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You have an appreciation for how tough life is.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And so when someone gives you a toothbrush, you're like, I'll keep this because I could use it in six months.

[A]

You never know.

[B]

You never know. So I. This.

[C]

You know, you're Going to be okay. It's like when Leno's like, I don't touch it. Tonight show my Jake. You're 75 years old. Touch it.

[B]

Touch it.

[C]

Touch it.

[B]

Just touch it.

[C]

He was a boy scout. All right.

[A]

Yeah, I was.

[B]

Yeah. A boy scout. Also, you. Your parents were lawyers, right? So you kind of. You. You had. You want, like, destitute growing up.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yet you ingrained in you is this spirit of frugality.

[A]

Yes. They had no food in the house and they were frugal, so we didn't get stuff. We didn't buy things as they were paranoid.

[B]

They're not wasteful. That's the one. No wasteful marriage.

[A]

No way.

[C]

It's not wasteful. But then also you could have food in the house.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I agree. In the house, please.

[B]

But you are not a wasteful American, which I think is. No, people don't know about you.

[A]

Thank you. I appreciate that.

[C]

I don't think I'm wasteful either, but.

[B]

I think, yeah, extremely wasteful. Typical American. He will eat. You won't finish. You'll throw it away. You'll throw it away. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you gotta blow a bite.

[C]

Damn it.

[A]

Yeah, there we go.

[B]

Mark will not waste if he'll take it home.

[A]

Yes, take it home. I'll take your food home. So I will.

[C]

I saw Mark grab a hot dog from a homeless guy the other day and he finished it right in front of him.

[B]

That way his. The way he respects resources. He's a very much an immigrant mentality.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

He's got a poverty immigrant mentality.

[A]

Yeah. It was beaten into me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

My dad grew up on a farm. My mom's a weirdo. Right. They're like hippie, crunchy people. So, yeah.

[B]

So, yes, not wasteful American.

[A]

My parents, they hated going to the movies because it was too expensive. So if we did, she would load up with fruit snacks from home. Did your mom do that?

[C]

Yeah. Everyone, that was New York. The prices were insane. So you always bring stuff in.

[A]

Okay, okay. Yeah, that was embarrassing. And she gave me a jar of chocolate milk for lunch and I had to bring the jar back, so I had to walk around all day with a jar. Just an empty jar glass.

[B]

And this, ironically, that's. That's. You're going to save the world. For real. You did that out of weird frugality. But yeah, this is the attitude we need now is more taking and reusing.

[A]

Hey. Yeah, she was ahead of her time. No lunchbox either. Grocery bag. That was my lunch.

[C]

What candies were you Sneaking into the theater.

[A]

What are we talking? We had the shitty fruit snacks, the off brand version, and a kudos bar if you were lucky. You guys remember kudos. Pull that up. It was like fake chocolate. It was probably chemicals.

[B]

It sounds like chemicals.

[A]

It was all chemical. I'm sure it was there.

[C]

You're a healthy man.

[B]

I, I am now, but it took me a while to learn. It took me until I was about 30.

[C]

Oh, I remember these. I like those.

[A]

They were pretty good.

[B]

Yeah, this looks like chemicals.

[A]

It's horror. It was like a kind bar for the 80s.

[B]

Plastic. It was all plastic back then.

[A]

By the way, I can already see the comments. This show's falling off. They used to drink whiskey, now they're eating bananas. It's all over.

[C]

Really hungover, in my defense.

[A]

Oh, all right, all right.

[C]

Really fucked. I got really fucked.

[B]

I didn't know we were supposed to drink on this.

[C]

You don't.

[B]

Someone warned me that this.

[A]

You don't have to.

[C]

We're missing out on some big guests because they're like, I'm in recovery.

[B]

I'm like, I'm not going to force.

[C]

You to drink this area. If you show up, we're not going to like force one down your throat.

[A]

Yeah, right. Yeah. It's a comedy show.

[B]

Yeah. And you guys are well respected internationally though, as. Oh, great. Australians love you.

[C]

Thanks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Australians think you guys are hall of fame. First ballot.

[A]

Just got back. I had a blast.

[C]

I love Australian.

[B]

Why? Why?

[A]

We're going. We're going. Oh, you hate Australia.

[B]

I don't hate Australia.

[A]

You got a beef.

[C]

Kind of started there, right?

[B]

I stop. I, I 100 started.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

So I got a chip on my shoulder with industry there, but the comics.

[A]

There, I loved because they wouldn't give you any opportunities. What happened?

[B]

No, it was. It's so hard to explain. It sounds okay. It's not that it didn't give opportunities. They would make it look like they gave you a shot, but then really they were pulling the strings in a way that made you look bad. So in the end you take the hit.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But the people who made you look like shit just keep getting failing upwards, basically. So that's what I really hated about it was very. Yeah, it was very insidious, but not.

[C]

Not a good, like brotherhood of comics.

[B]

No, comics were great. I'm talking about the TV industry. TV and movie industry in Australia. The comics in Australia saw the earth.

[C]

Cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Great guys.

[A]

Good eggs.

[B]

You know them?

[A]

Sure. Yeah.

[B]

Funny. But, yeah, you guys are well respected globally. Do you guys know that.

[A]

No, no, no. I mean, we'll do the big. We'll do London, we'll do Australia.

[B]

But you guys are the. The kings of New York.

[A]

Wow. Hey, I'll take it. Even him, he's dressed like a Out of work PI.

[B]

Yeah. Always looks like an Ottawa PI.

[C]

Where's my houseboat?

[B]

But it. This. This is the. The mythology of you guys. This is the mythology. You dressing like this and you, you know, being frugal, being like this.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I'm playing along that this shirt sucks. But I put it on the mirror. I was like, I nailed it.

[A]

I do the same thing. Yeah. Like.

[C]

Ah, it's great.

[A]

It's great.

[B]

You dress frugally and then you dress.

[A]

This is all free, cheap shirt.

[C]

This is not an expensive shirt.

[A]

All right. He got it at Tom Thumb.

[B]

Yeah, that.

[A]

They're in Pensacola, so It's like they're 711 in Florida.

[B]

But you guys must be rich now, right, because of this?

[C]

Now we're getting there. We're deep in the hole right now.

[A]

We're taking a chance.

[C]

Not going well.

[B]

It's cool, though. It's culturally a cool play.

[C]

You were one of the first people to try it, I think. I think. Hey, I know you have, like. You're like a cocktail guy. Ronnie, I feel like, is a man of taste.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No, you.

[C]

I think you're one of the best.

[B]

I'm on this thing. No, I'm not a cocktail. I actually was more of a scotch guy. I stopped drinking, but will we have drinking? I didn't quit, but I just have no urge to drink.

[A]

Wow, I'm jealous.

[C]

You know what the name of this podcast is?

[B]

I know. That's why I came on. Like, I don't know what's going to. But it's cool you guys have this thing now that's.

[C]

No, it's good.

[A]

But you have a finer palette. You got the great suits. You know all the good restaurants.

[C]

Pull up some pictures of. I think he's maybe the best dressed comic.

[B]

No, I don't know.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

It's always perfectly tailored.

[A]

Yeah. Not now, but yeah, the hair.

[B]

For me, it was like. It was easier to dress like this. Look at these awful photos.

[C]

No, these look. Holy shit.

[B]

It was easier to do this than it was to be fashionable.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

I mean, yeah, fashionable. I end up looking like Sam. But if you wear a suit, you just kind of. It's like a cheat coat to, you know.

[A]

That's a good point.

[B]

Yeah. And these are.

[C]

It's good taste in suits. You got A.

[B]

But also, why show business one. Show business.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

We should put in some effort on stage.

[A]

I. I fight with that. I. I completely agree. You see the Mulaney in the suit. You see the Seinfel suit.

[B]

I know you fight with it, clearly.

[A]

Yeah, but. But then you go, but I'm not that guy. But do I have to pretend to be that guy? But I don't want to look like a schlub. But I am a schlub.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, you know, what are we doing?

[B]

I know. You mean it depends on the act.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Also, like, we are supposed to be countercultural comedy. So why are you dressing like the man?

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Yeah. But I. I think there is something.

[C]

Why dress like a woman on stuff. Tube top. The tube top special.

[A]

Now the Daisy Duke special one, that was my favorite.

[B]

But I think there's something to write. As Mr. Seinfeld always said, dress better than your audience. So that.

[A]

Yeah. And he always says there's something funny about a guy. A funny guy in a suit. Yes, a funny guy in a suit.

[B]

The juxtaposition.

[A]

Yeah, that's the word. Thank you.

[B]

Yes. That you are. You're being irreverent and funny. But you're dressed formally. There's something to that. I don't know. I think that's a way to do it. Maybe you. You in a tie and suit. I agree. Maybe not. But you and Fallon, once I've done.

[C]

It, I thought it looked good.

[A]

Yeah. It's fun for the moment, but I just couldn't sustain it.

[C]

I think sharp as.

[A]

Dude, thanks. Thanks. By the way, that suit, that one on the top left, that is pinned together with about 700 pins because it was nine sizes too big. And so the lady went to town.

[B]

But why didn't you go on the Tonight show with a suit that fits?

[C]

I. I've done the same thing.

[A]

Could afford it. I didn't have it. I don't know.

[C]

I went on a Colbert set and it was like. I didn't know you could tailor suits. I don't think you got to pull up Samuel Colbert. It's. It's a bad look. Haircut. The haircut was like $10, too.

[A]

Yeah, same, same. I always get the haircut there because it's free.

[C]

I mean, look at that suit. That's. I mean, as well. Wearing a tarp.

[B]

That's okay.

[A]

It wasn't that bad. But that one looks underneath.

[B]

But that's okay.

[C]

That's.

[A]

That's a sweet.

[B]

That was a time in the 2010s. Like, late 2009, when comics would go on to these late shows and wear shirts which were too big. No. No jacket. Yeah, Just a shirt that was way too big, you know? So that. To me, that was bad. This is okay. This is okay. What do you mean?

[A]

That's not terrible.

[C]

No, it's a good angle. It did not fit well.

[B]

Okay. I don't remember.

[C]

I look like I'm a fucking senator from Kentucky with that. How am I doing there?

[B]

But you know what? You two. You. You guys could do the suit, no tie, on stage.

[A]

Yes. That's a good look.

[C]

That's right there for my last special.

[B]

Yeah, you could do, like, not suit, but, like, sports coat. So blazer and off color. So not matching, right?

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

Yeah, you could do that.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I mean, you could do jeans and blazer, but it looks like your little boomery. Yeah, it's a little boomery. So you. You should do. Oh, yeah, this is great. See?

[A]

Yeah, that's a good suit. Somebody bought me.

[B]

So I know you're saying comedy, and.

[A]

I'm yelling at Jim Gaffigan right here, because this is one of these benefits. And I texted Jim. It was Seinfeld, Jon Stewart, Bruce Springsteen. Yeah. I think wounded warriors or one of those military heroes, something. Heroes. Stand up for heroes.

[B]

Way to wait to give them a shout out, Mark.

[A]

Thank you. They're doing the Lord's work. And I texted Gavkin. We go in suit. We go in no suit. What's the move here? And he goes, wear a suit. Jesus Christ. Wear a suit. Don't wear a tie if you don't have. If you don't want to. And I said, all right. So I did that, and he showed up in sweatshirt. Oh, I know. He looked like a. Like a Korean dictator. Yeah, he's just. There he is. That's him.

[B]

He's not sweats.

[A]

Well, he had, like, kind of crazy slack. There he is. That's the. That's the photo. Pull that one up. See, he's got a sweater on. He's got the zip up.

[C]

Yeah, you look good, though. Who cares?

[B]

Yeah, he looks. He looks like he put some effort in.

[A]

You know, Jon Stewart's in Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

[C]

Yeah. Holy.

[B]

He always wears that jacket.

[A]

He wears whatever he wants.

[B]

Yeah, he's good. Man of the people. But I think that's something to wear. You guys could pull it off, you know?

[A]

Yeah, right?

[B]

It looks. Would you wear on tour?

[A]

No, No, I can't. I just. I feel like a fraud walking out there going, hey, everybody. And they're going to go, the record's going to scratch, and everybody's going to.

[C]

I'm such a piece of. In the road. I love shit that just won't wrinkle. Like these pants, they just don't wrinkles.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or like we get. You get one of those jackets that just won't wrinkle.

[A]

The best man.

[B]

Love that killing.

[C]

No, no, no. I'll bring some nice stuff sometimes.

[B]

Yeah. Well, how about one show? You do one show. What. What bet do we have to make?

[A]

Well, special in it. So you're. You're good.

[C]

Yeah. I thought it looked cool, though. I like it.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

It looked great.

[B]

Oh, you had a great one. You had one. One that was not that.

[C]

Well. Yeah, that was a good suit.

[B]

That was a good one.

[C]

But you had another Tan France. He was the one who told me to get that suit. So. Tan France from Queer Eye.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you guys. If you get a stylist, he also.

[A]

Has four bananas on his rider. All right, keep going.

[B]

If you had a stylist, you could probably get something that fits your personality right now. It's because you lack the talent to dress yourself.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So you're like, oh, it looks like. Because you will dress yourself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But if you get a professional to.

[A]

That's not bad.

[B]

To even give you an option.

[A]

That's not bad. Just.

[B]

Hey, take a look at this option. So I bet for you it'll be no shirt. It'll be something like a turtleneck.

[A]

And then.

[C]

Oh, you have a smoker's jacket on.

[B]

At the.

[C]

At your wedding.

[A]

At my wedding. It was a wedding.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I couldn't do that on stage about polo. Okay.

[B]

Polo with jacket.

[A]

That's better. That's better.

[B]

Can you pull up a tenant? The.

[A]

Oh, the movie?

[B]

As in tenant? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, boy, this is getting deep.

[B]

Yeah. No, no, no. Tenet. As a te.

[A]

The Richard Nolan movie. Sorry.

[B]

Yeah. Tenant. Yeah. So not that. Yeah, that. Something like that.

[A]

Wow, that's sharp.

[B]

That's. That's a polo under a jacket. And this is something you do when it's kind of hot outside or.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

Yeah. Polo under. You could do a polo on jacket.

[A]

Okay. You don't think that's too slick for me? That guy is selling real estate.

[B]

Yes, but that's because the color of his. You know, you could pick it also. You could take off the jacket and just go polo, you know? And this. No, you can't do this.

[A]

These are. Yeah. Jeans.

[C]

This is like Big Brother. I kind of like what he's doing.

[A]

I know. I'm learning a lot.

[B]

Yeah, this is. Oh, no, no, no.

[C]

By the way, Barney Greengrass shirt. I love it.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I wore this for you.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Hey, I love that place.

[B]

And the Knicks.

[A]

Oh, double whammy.

[C]

I didn't even notice that.

[B]

This is a limited edition. You can only get this if you.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

Real New York.

[A]

That's oil. We're a yarmulke at this point.

[C]

I went to Jalen Brunson's charity thing last night. Chris DiStefano there leaves right before the bidding. Real fucking slick donate. Then he's like, oh, shit, I got to pick up my daughter. Sure you do. Piece of shit. I also noticed I donated the same as a current player, which I'm like, we are not in the same. What the fuck are you. Come on, you got to give more.

[A]

What's the charity for? Give it a plug.

[C]

It's a second round charity and it's for like kids who are second round picks. Yeah, basically that's because he was a second round pick. Right. So it's like that's his whole thing. It's.

[B]

Yeah, let's give to the poor second round picks in the NBA who couldn't make it onto it.

[C]

It's bad to be overlooked unless you're in the church as a child. But either way, I'll tell you, you're all right.

[A]

All right.

[B]

No, but I'm. I'm not. I'm not big brother. You guys, you guys were so nice to me when I first came here. I'm not trying to be kind. I'm not trying to tell you what to dress.

[A]

No, I'm just curious.

[B]

I'm just pitching.

[A]

Please pitch away.

[B]

I'm just pitching ideas. That's all.

[A]

So this is all. All good. Good help. Yeah, I'll take it.

[B]

Yeah. You guys were always very welcoming to me when I first came to New York.

[C]

You're a good, funny dude, man.

[B]

But it was. Yeah, I mean, it was cool of you guys to be nice.

[A]

Yeah, of course. We. Well, we watched your act first.

[C]

Don't get me wrong, it was like thumbs up.

[B]

Yeah, you got passed. Got passed by seller. And no, we knew you. We knew you're a good dude. Oh, thanks.

[A]

Yeah. If you were doing my mom sounds like this, I would have been like, all right, we got to. We got to get out of here now. That's always the go to.

[B]

My mom sounds like this.

[A]

My mom has this accent. My mom is that, you know. You guys. Mom ever do this a Filipino mom. Don't get me started. You know, I think I'm giving away who I'm talking about.

[C]

Yeah, no, we got it.

[A]

We all got it.

[C]

But, yeah, no, you. You were fudgeing great, dude, man. And you're like. It's interesting. I feel like you're one of the few dudes who can do the social commentary without pandering.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

That's a very difficult skill.

[B]

Oh, is that true?

[C]

I don't.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I think there's a lot of.

[B]

What do you mean, you guys do social commentary without pants?

[C]

Very, very little. Like, maybe three jokes per special.

[B]

I argue everything you do is social commentary. But what am I missing? You mean politics?

[C]

You're more political.

[A]

Yeah. I don't read as much. You. You. You know more about the news than I do.

[C]

But, I mean, you tour the whole country. I mean, you're going every red state, blue.

[A]

Shit.

[C]

And you're doing a lot more, I think. I guess in your act, it's not super political, but you do it on the Daily Show.

[B]

Yeah, I think it's not overtly political. If anything, it. If anything, it's like, I feel like I get all my politics out on the show, so I do stand up. I'm like, let's do something else, you know?

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

But, yes, undoubtedly. Yeah, I guess it leaks into each other, but I don't know. I found in America, everyone who comes to comedy shows gets with it. For most part.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Don't you think, like, people who come to comedy shows are usually like, oh, you know, even if you disagree politically, you. You're there for, like, okay, as long as the comic gives something that isn't wildly off base.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

It's when the comic is wildly off base with the political opinion that you kind of rebel. Your brain rebels against it because you're like, that's not true. That's.

[A]

Yes. And you can feel the audience when a comic flips a 180, they're like, Whoa, what is this? They feel a little betrayed, and then they. They turn on you.

[B]

Right, right. But you also feel when you're saying something political and you know that it. It sounds like you're gonna anger certain people in the crowd, but then you feel when that. That segment actually gets with you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's the best.

[B]

Or whether it. Yeah, it's the best. It's like, whether it's. You're talking to extremely liberal people, but. And your bits. Premise is very. It's kind of wrong, like, for their crowd, but you get them because it's just so funny.

[A]

Yes. Or vice versa.

[C]

That's the best part.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You say something that you. You're going after super right wing people and you can tell there's people in the room who are like, I don't know, you know, I believe in my guns. But then you manage to flip it around. They're like, all right, that's funny. And that makes sense. And then.

[A]

Yeah, funny.

[C]

And we're not trying to change the world. I think once you let go of that. I mean, I did a couple gigs with Shane over the weekend and, you know, his crowd definitely skews more right wing, but.

[B]

No, I'm joking.

[C]

Oh, yeah. No, seriously. Yeah, it does. But then he'll do. He'll do. He's like. He'll tell me, like, we're talking about, like, how we hate when we get claps in a setup. It's fucking boring. But it's like, what's the point with comics? You don't want claps. So he'll go like, oh, I'm going to anti Trump in this bit. Because they want to pro Trump.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's more interesting. My crowd probably skews a little more left. And I'm kind of like, here's something funny about Trump to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because they know your beliefs. Like, I heard Jimmy Car once that you leak your beliefs.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

So just fucking be funny your beliefs. Yeah. That's why you don't have to tell people where you stand. Everyone's demanding, where do you stand on this? Where do you stand on that? Listen to a little bit. Figure it out.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

What did Quinn say about Depaulon?

[C]

What?

[A]

You can tell how he voted through his McDonald's order. So true. Give me fucking all these immigrants here. You know, like, you just go off on something. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It leaks through. And also, also there's. There's a lot of fun and creativity to be had in going against what you're leaking.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You're leaking a certain way, but then you go against it. It does. That's. That's what's fun about it.

[A]

Yeah. Because then the audience is like, whoa, where he's going. Right? Versus.

[B]

Versus. Just saying what they want to hear.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I think maybe that's what you are feeling with Shane. Well, I don't know. I don't even want to presume that Shane's crowd is right. I mean, that.

[C]

Well, he's. He's got such a big crowd that it's everybody. But I think it skews slightly to the right.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, I know. I don't know. Yeah.

[A]

Don't you think? Yeah, I would say so. Yeah.

[C]

But I think his crowd is enormous. I think it's like. Yeah, it's everybody. For sure. Everybody thinks he's funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, he's killer.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But I think you're right about the. I think predictability gets old. You got to go, we got it. All right. Same shit every time. They'll stop seeing you. So if you can really tap dance and make people not know where you're going, that's the best. Like a movie, you go, I don't know where this movie. How are they going to get out of this? That's. That's great skill, though. But if you go, he's the bad guy. And the five minutes, like, where the.

[C]

I love movies are so fucking formulaic when you see one. Like, you ever see the Safdie Brothers movie Good Time?

[A]

Yeah. With Pattinson.

[C]

Yeah. You just say you just don't know where the fuck it's going. Starts with a bank robbery and you're like, how the fuck is he gonna get out of this?

[A]

I would say the long goodbye is like that. It's just that movie's so windy and weird. It goes all over the place.

[C]

Very windy. You know, a big part of that's because Altman, who did. He adapted that book. Didn't finish the book. I got it. But I guess the same. It is. And the ending is not the ending of the book.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

You think comedies can do that, Comedy movies?

[C]

Depends on the type of comedy.

[A]

Not really.

[B]

Let's. Let's go back to. I don't interrupt you. What are you saying?

[A]

No, no, I. I don't. I think a comedy movie kind of has to be formulaic because it's just a vehicle for the jokes, really.

[B]

I'm saying.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Have you seen. I just saw Naked Gun.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Fuck. It's funny, dude.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's fun. That's nice to hear. Yeah.

[B]

So I guess.

[C]

But that's. But that follows the formula.

[B]

Well, that's what I'm saying. So what do you think about comedy movies? You know, the. If we go back to our recent golden age, which we would say comedy movies would be what, 90s?

[A]

The Farrelly Brothers.

[B]

That would be what we would think is the golden age.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Movies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like all those, like, even, like, Jim Carrey stuff, right?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Ask Ace Ventura. Whatever. Though. Would you say that those will. Is it possible to break the mold in those?

[A]

That's a great question. And maybe the first guy who does it will. It'll blow up.

[C]

Well, I mean, you can consider being John Malkovich a comedy, and that's super fucking unpredictable. It's a different genre of comedy.

[B]

Sure. I mean.

[A]

Yeah. Way outside the box.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But have you heard of this movie Weapons?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you seen it?

[B]

No.

[A]

Everyone's talking about this movie because everyone says it breaks the mold. I've never seen a movie like it. No horror movie goes this way. And I think comedy and horror are kind of similar. So maybe there's a way to break through, because. With comedy.

[B]

Because, by the way, I mean, I don't want people to misunderstand. I said. I said Jim Carrey movies didn't break the mold, but they were brilliant. Yeah, they were brilliant because he was so talented and they were in, like, unique premises.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Pet detective, magical mask. Someone who's dumb.

[A]

Dumb and dumb.

[B]

And when you watch it, it's brilliant. Even. Even Adam Sandler, Happy Gilmore. Brilliant movie. Brilliant comedy movie. At every point, that movie, you know what the. What the character wants.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It's very clear. Did it break the mold? It arguably didn't because, you know, highs and lows. Mentor, low point, happy ending wins.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wins the sports. So I guess my question is how to do that with.

[C]

I think comedy breaks the mold. Not with the structure of the story, but, like, what happens within.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

You know, like. Like, Jim Carrey is like, oh, I'd never seen a dude do that shit when I was a kid. A cartoon character. But yeah, he was like, not a. He was, like, elastic and not a fucking person.

[B]

Yeah. He was without cgi. He could change his face like a. You know, he could do the faces without. It looked like it was cgi.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, because the way he molds his face. But. Sorry. So this goes back to what you're saying before about movies having unpredictable twists, whereas comedies, I feel like they can't do that. So they just. To be a great comedy, you just got to be.

[A]

Just got to be funny. And the mov. The storyline.

[C]

End of our movie, we should get a sex change. That should be. They're just like, wait, why? And we're like, just stay with us.

[A]

I guess white chicks change the mold a little, you know?

[B]

Okay. But white chicks. Structurally predictable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But yeah, the premise was unpredictable.

[C]

Yeah, it'd be really unpredictable if it was me and Norman and black chicks, we just go out of blackface and get the. Kicked out of us immediately.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, that's not a bad scene. That's the movie we could put that in me. And you were the Williams sisters.

[B]

Yeah, you guys could do that.

[A]

But I think a naked gun or an airplane. You never saw jokes like that, you know, naked gun. The lady walks up the stair, the ladder, and he goes, nice beaver. And she goes, thanks. And hands down, a stuffed beaver. Stuff like that where you're like, whoa, I've seen that.

[C]

Is that the grossest term for a vagina?

[B]

Beaver.

[C]

Beaver's really not complimentary.

[B]

It's not.

[C]

That was even worse.

[A]

Beaver's not great, but coochie. That's some rough ones.

[C]

Clam beef is not an attractive animal. Not that I want to fuck any.

[A]

Animal, but sure, maybe. Hatchet wound is pretty.

[C]

That's pretty dark.

[A]

Boxes box. Yeah.

[C]

Beaver's rough.

[B]

Honey pot has to be the worst.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't even get how you get to beaver. Is it.

[A]

Yeah, I guess because it's furry. Yeah, but Jingo usually wet. That sounds like a. That's a Italian.

[C]

Maybe the virgino ate your baby.

[A]

Cookie.

[C]

I've never heard cookie.

[A]

Cookie Yoni.

[C]

That's the Jewish name. What the. Yeah, Nice moisture.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Guys, a real producers bringing up for the podcast listeners.

[A]

Swat. That's a classic cookie. That guy's a pedophile. Anybody who calls it a cookie.

[C]

Yeah. That was a racial slur against black people.

[A]

Cookie.

[C]

Yeah, because I remember that movie with De Niro and Cuba Gooding Jr. I forgot what it's called, but he keeps calling him that. It was. They were really running out of, like, you know, like, triumphant black stories.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They made it to, like, the first Black Scuba Diver. And I was like, all right.

[A]

Yeah, it's over.

[C]

I mean, I'll give you Jackie Robinson.

[A]

That's great.

[C]

But like, the Scuba Diver. I was like, yeah, I forgot. The Men of Honor. That's what it was.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes. The black guy swimming. That's where you lost me.

[C]

There was a chord.

[A]

Did you see Sinners?

[C]

Yeah, I enjoy.

[A]

Yeah. The black guy eating the girl out. I was like, this is science fiction. What are we doing?

[C]

Holy shit.

[A]

All right, we're having to.

[C]

That was a fun one.

[B]

It was. It was. It was vampires.

[A]

I know, and I believe that part. I believe maybe the best version of the two guys playing or played by one guy I've ever seen. Tom Hardy did it.

[B]

How about.

[C]

How about Adaptation? Nick Cage.

[A]

Oh, Crush. That was pretty great. Yeah.

[C]

So, so different. I love that level.

[B]

What about. What about the two guys playing one guy in Social Network Work?

[C]

Yes. That was good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Wow. I didn't realize that. That's.

[B]

That's how good it was.

[A]

That's a good sign. Yeah. Damn, boy. Whatever happened to that guy? I'm kidding.

[C]

So. But he didn't do it. Didn't he.

[A]

What happened with it? I think they. They pumped it up. He was. He was creepy, but it wasn't actually. He wasn't like, eating women with a fork.

[B]

I don't think he actually ate people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Bring him back to the next Silence of the Lambs or something.

[A]

Oh, that's not bad.

[B]

I think he's already back.

[C]

Is he?

[A]

He's so handsome.

[C]

Handsome guy.

[A]

I mean, he's like a woman's dream. He's got the. The army hammer or the Arm and Hammer. Money and the.

[C]

Is that really.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, that's. He's the heir.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That's why he's called Army.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Arm and hammer. Right.

[C]

I. I just assumed it was a coincidence.

[B]

Yeah, he comes from rich family.

[A]

You know, his gay brother, Navy. Okay. I'll see you all in hell. I can't believe you're still on the Daily Show. What. What is this, 20 years you're doing?

[B]

No, 10 years. 10 years. I've only been in America for 10 years, man.

[A]

For a comic to keep a job for 10 years is rare.

[B]

I know. I agree. That's what I tell people. It's like, we were never supposed to have job security.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So, yeah, I've been here for 10 years.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

10 years. And you.

[C]

And how many. Like, how often do you host it?

[B]

I hosted. Thanks for watching, by the way. I hosted.

[C]

I watched the clip.

[B]

Yeah, thanks for watching clips. I post it, like, every couple weeks. I host it for, like, three days.

[A]

Yeah, that's so cool.

[B]

Best job in comedy, I think.

[A]

Yeah, definitely.

[B]

I tell you what's good about comedy, about Daily show, you guys will love, is that when you're the Daily show, the only agenda that the writers and the performers have and the producers is to make jokes. And I say that in comparison to. Have you guys worked on ads before, like, commercials a little bit where they bring you in to write on a commercial and when you work at a Daily show, because this is my first experience in America was writing on the Daily show, being on the Daily show, and then I had to experience being on ads in America and the agendas with ads, so different.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

They got stuff they want to sell the stuff you want to educate you, pitch a joke, and they're like, you know, and fair enough. They'll be like, oh, this you can't Say this is too.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Daily Shows. I know. Just go for it.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Just go for it.

[A]

And.

[B]

Okay, sometimes you go for it and it doesn't work. Or you go for it and then we cut it before the final taping for whatever reason.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But at least people are going for it's jokes.

[C]

When you're doing an Old Spice ad.

[B]

No, it's not that. Is that you pitch stuff, but then, you know, Old Spice has the right to not use them.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because. And their agenda.

[C]

So clean up your bajinga.

[B]

That's exactly. So you. You know, when you're. When you're there. And then, like I said, Daily show, you're surrounded by comics who just want to write jokes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, when you're doing a commercial, you're surrounded by people who. They're not professional comics. Some of them are writers, but they're not like comics. So they're not. The agenda isn't to. Let's find the thing that makes us laugh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, let's find something that we can use to sell the product. Which is fair enough, you know.

[A]

Oh, totally dud.

[C]

You're also, by the way, such a good actor. The movie.

[A]

Me.

[C]

Yeah, the movie. Megan is so fun.

[A]

Oh, that was great.

[C]

That was like a sci fi. I just threw it on one day not knowing you were even in it.

[B]

Oh, thanks so much.

[C]

It was such a cool surprise. But you play this like tech. Yeah, this tech giant asshole. So you play a good.

[B]

Thank you. Yeah, I like to play. I think. I like to think I can play a good. This was. This was good. You would like this movie because it's. I saw it written by writer with a great sense of humor. So he made this quirky little New Zealand. You know, it's not set in New Zealand, but we filmed it in New Zealand.

[A]

Wow. Really?

[B]

Yeah. And it has that New Zealand quirky comedy sensibility.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that. It had a lot of levity. It was definitely lighter.

[B]

Yeah. It was self aware. And that was the key about this movie, is that we all know what's gonna happen here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Doll is gonna go nuts. So the fun is in the lead up to that.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know, the fun is in how self aware can we be without giving away the whole game.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

Being so up our own butts with it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

The director hit it perfectly. It's like this very self aware, self referential, but still earnest attempt.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

At a horror.

[C]

And you write. Megan 2.0. 2.0 is out today. I'm not in it. Because of this sc.

[B]

I actually have died in like five movies now, so.

[A]

Damn.

[C]

What else did you die.

[B]

Died of? I died of cancer in one movie. I died in this movie. I died. I got shot. I was Selma High. Ex. Ex boyfriend.

[A]

What in.

[B]

In Bliss.

[A]

Whoa, hold that up.

[B]

That one?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Where's that? Did you get to touch her at all?

[B]

I got to act with her. Yes. She was great. Very cool person.

[A]

She's one of these ageless women. She just doesn't age.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Bliss.

[B]

Yeah, Bliss. This movie. I was. I was in it. It's a great movie, by the way. This movie is. It's a very metaphysical. Yeah.

[A]

It almost seems like if a movie isn't self aware now, it won't work. I feel like we've gotten so far in movies that you kind of have to be winking at the camera a little bit or else the audience is.

[C]

Like, ah, Ted Bundy movie we need. He's like, I know the worst.

[B]

What are you not gonna do with this? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. That's the other thing. Hey. So I like to ask people with a bit more perspective than me, but like, is it tough to do this stuff now that there's so much to watch and everyone's so goddamn educated in entertainment?

[A]

I know, exactly.

[B]

You can't. You can't. It's harder to surprise people. Now.

[A]

That's a good way to put it.

[B]

You know, and it's good because it pushes everyone to be better. But it is harder to used to be. Used to be able to be a lot more mediocre.

[A]

I think 1000. And the shit that goes viral is shit that you would never expect. You're like. That went viral, right? Because you can't pinpoint what the algo or what the people want.

[B]

Right? Yeah.

[A]

Yet crack it. I mean.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, we know, we know. We know the lowest common denominator that will go viral. Like say N word or what, you know.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Go viral. You could have a hit.

[C]

Mark calls his manager right now. I'm cooking something up.

[A]

Kids are going to love it.

[B]

So we know that, you know, I mean, we know that stuff. Yeah, but like quality going viral. It's. I don't know, you know, and it's not easy.

[C]

That's a good point.

[B]

I don't know the Internet, man. I. I can't even.

[A]

Well, this is one of your great Chang insights. Like, you had the Twitter thing before. You had that bit before everybody had it. You know how you said Twitter's like cigarettes, you know Sorry.

[C]

Well, yeah, it's such a good option.

[B]

It's so good. You guys can't remember.

[A]

Use the Internet when you were pregnant. That was the line. Yeah, yeah, I quote that three times a week.

[B]

Oh, thanks, man.

[A]

Yeah, I take credit for it, but, yeah, I still quote it.

[B]

I think the bit was, we. We don't know the damage that Internet is doing. It could be like drinking alcohol. Like, in 20 years, we'll be like, I can't believe we let pregnant women use the Internet.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

It's just like drinking.

[A]

It's so damaging.

[B]

It is. It's dangerous. I switched to this now. I switched to just using.

[A]

Whoa. Good on you.

[B]

Just to get off.

[C]

So you don't have a phone on you anymore.

[B]

Like, I have a phone somewhere, but I try not to.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

Turn it off and just use this now. So.

[C]

And what. And what's the benefit to that?

[B]

So you can. You're in the Apple ecosystem. You get all the messages. You get anyone. You can even take calls on this, but you don't.

[A]

You can't doom scroll for no reason.

[B]

Oh, you can't freaking. Yeah.

[A]

Tick tock.

[B]

Yeah, none of that.

[A]

That's the move.

[B]

This is the move.

[A]

Move.

[B]

This is a move, guys.

[C]

That's smart.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, back to pagers.

[A]

Derosa does the same thing. He's like, I put my phone at home and I take my. Watch out. You gotta text me. Great. You gotta call me. Great. But that's it. I'm not gonna just sit there and stare.

[B]

But that's what it's like. Offline is the new luxury.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

We gotta spend so much money just to get offline now.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we gotta spend.

[B]

We gotta hire social media managers to do. We gotta.

[C]

You know, I bought a good typewriter.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Digital one. But I put in the back and I can just. I won't. I can't surf.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Yeah. Is it the. I know the one.

[C]

What's it called? Like, this smart, Right? Or something?

[B]

It's that. The. The free. Right.

[C]

Free, right.

[B]

That's not that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How is it?

[C]

I like it.

[B]

You like it?

[A]

Okay, so you're paying to not have Internet. That's. That's crazy.

[C]

It's crazy. But it keeps me off from, like, scrolling.

[B]

Does it work?

[C]

Yeah, I just. I do a. They call it the Pomodoro method, I think. Yeah. 20, 30 minutes, whatever. You set a timer, you do it, and then you're like, okay, I'm all in for 20, 30 minutes. And then I'll take a break and then I'll go back to it.

[A]

Whoa. Now, how do you get that shit off of there if there's no Internet?

[C]

It's got WI fi, but you can't scroll, so just. Just to email yourself.

[A]

Wow. How about that?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, what does that puppy run you?

[C]

It wasn't cheap.

[B]

It's like 500.

[A]

How funny is that? That doohickey that looks like a piece of plastic is 500. That should be 30 bucks.

[B]

Again, this is the frugal I know. No, no, I don't think you're cheer. I think you're very frugal because this is the guy. He. I forgot about this. He works out on scaffolding.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah. He does the New York City Workout.

[A]

I'm not wasting it.

[B]

Yeah, he's right.

[C]

But, you know, Whitney Cummings called me, was like, you need to get this right? And she was like, it will change your life.

[A]

Oh, here we go. Percocet.

[C]

Yeah, I'm on that, too. It's working, dude.

[A]

Good. Well, what is it? Oh, this.

[C]

This? Yeah, told me on it.

[B]

What, so you're interested in.

[A]

I'm interested. Yeah. But I also have pretty good willpower, so I can just. I'll type, but I use a paper. I don't even use my laptop.

[C]

I like. I use paper, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I like a legal pad.

[B]

Papers go. Legal pad is good.

[A]

The only problem is you got to rip it out and take it with you to the show.

[B]

That's not a problem.

[A]

I know, but it would be nice to have it all in one place. Yeah, I got 38 pieces of loose leaf in my pocket, you know?

[C]

Yeah, but you. But then you.

[B]

You can transfer. Yeah.

[C]

You transfer to.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you got consolidated. Yeah.

[A]

For $50. Oh, yeah. Like, it's. It's.

[B]

You gotta consolidate it.

[A]

Okay, there we go. I don't know which one's in order.

[B]

These guys look like.

[A]

Yeah, it's a couple ransom notes here.

[B]

Let me see that.

[A]

Take it.

[B]

Yeah, this is great.

[A]

Just don't lose the order. Oh, yeah, this. This is the. The new stuff on top.

[B]

I don't want to touch it.

[A]

All right, but you. You get the gist, dude.

[B]

Just. I can't believe you guys had this in your asses the whole time.

[A]

Oh, yeah. All day long.

[B]

You didn't even. You didn't even take it out for the pop podcasts.

[A]

Wow. No, yeah, you got to keep it in. You want to lose it.

[B]

But this is. This adds to the mythology.

[C]

I remember better if I just Hand write it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It just kind of seeps in your brain a little better.

[A]

Agreed. Yeah. This is the future. Okay.

[C]

It's insane.

[A]

It is.

[C]

It is insane.

[A]

Yeah. Well, everything kind of like podcasts or just radio, it all just kind of comes back, you know, I gotta wait.

[B]

For TV to come back, whatever that is. Yeah, I was radio back to radio.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The tv, because.

[A]

Yeah, we'll get there, but it'll be some new iteration.

[B]

It'll be TV straight to your brain.

[C]

It'll be. It'll be like smart glasses.

[B]

Yeah, it'll be straight to your brain. Tv.

[C]

If you're tired of your underwear riding up, down and sideways, it's time for sheath. Let's see if we're wearing them.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Even a second of doubt, I never doubt.

[C]

That's all I wear. I love them. Sheath underwear is a total game changer. With two pouches, one for your dick and one for your balls, it keeps things cradled right where they're supposed to be. I mean, these are my favorite underwear ever. They look good. Women like them. They always come. They're like, where'd you get those? I love those. They never go Swiss cheese on you. No, you never get the Swiss cheese. They stay intact.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Good material. It feels comfortable and it looks great. It's the best.

[A]

Can't lose.

[C]

And I'd like some more, if possible. If you're listening, you could send some. I don't like the ones that go this far down. I like the ones that are, like, here. If you could send me some more. If it were those for the winter, maybe.

[A]

I agree. Too long. You feel like an old man.

[C]

If you. Yeah, what am I going to, you know. Yeah. Old Man Winters over here coming by you. Damn cage.

[A]

Long johns.

[C]

Yeah, no, I like it, like, right here. If you could send me a few more, I'd be very, very grateful. I love them. They're my favorite. I tell everyone to get them. Go to sheathunderwear.com and use promo code drunk to get 20% off your first order. Plus sheath underwear's 100% money back. Guarantee that sheathunderwear.com promo code drunk. Get sheath underwear. Support the show. Support your balls. Yeah, that's the thing. We're used to seeing everyone on the subway now like this. We're gonna see him just in a few years with glasses on, like this.

[B]

I know I'll push back on this narrative a little bit because I. I agree. While using our phones too much. But if you look at photos of 1970s New York, everyone's on a newspaper.

[A]

Everyone's on the paper.

[B]

Okay, so let's calm down with the true. We used to be more united as a speaker.

[C]

At least the paper you had. At least a paper you had to read.

[B]

Yes. No, I.

[C]

As opposed to now you're just like ass. It's a guy eating food and rating it.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Absolutely. People need to. Reading is the antidote to social media and forces you to slow down.

[A]

Sorry. We were all reading the same thing. So we're all knew the news, we all knew the sports score, we all knew what movies were out, whatever art point of reference.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That was context to society.

[A]

Now everything's splintered.

[C]

But then someone goes viral and everyone knows who the Rizzler is. We're all on the same page. It's just in a different way. Yeah, we're on a dumber same page.

[A]

Way dumber.

[B]

The page is way dumber now.

[A]

What do you think about Autocorrect? I think that made us dumber.

[B]

That made us dumber. But it's got nothing compared to AI now because autocorrect made us bad spellers. AI is making us bad thinkers.

[A]

I agree. I don't use it.

[B]

Yeah, I've seen it. Like I've, I refused to use AI for a few years now. And then I, I, I was, I saw someone using it this year and I said, okay, I better see what it's about. If I'm gonna make fun of this, I better know. At least try it out once. And I used it and it was like, wrong.

[A]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[B]

The stuff I was doing, it wasn't great. It was basically summarizing Google and sometimes it would summarize stuff that I knew was wrong because it was about me. And then, and then I would use it to. What was really cool about it was that it could extract data and I could, I used it to draw a normal distribution curve and it would, it would extract data. And this normal distribution curve I was using to prove something racist about a certain race.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And my point is that if I didn't know what a normal distribution curve I was, I couldn't even use it anyway. So you need to have knowledge of mathematics and, and, and how and what information you're looking for in humanities and geography just to use it properly.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I think that there's a lot of people now who, who are just using it as a starting point and not the tool. And I think that's, I think it's going to make mediocre people dumber.

[C]

There's going to be. There's going to be young people hooking up and the kids in the bathroom. Like, how do I make a woman come?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I guarantee that's already happened. I've done that.

[C]

Yeah. I've done it a few times. And it was wrong.

[A]

Yeah, well, every woman's different. That's why AI is never going to. Never going to win or whatever it's called.

[C]

But, you know, it's. It is amazing because I remember when we. Cookie. Remember when we stopped remembering phone numbers?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

That was gonna be. I was like, this is crazy. Like, I'm gonna be. It's gonna affect my memory.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Everything gets a little. Because with the convenience of it all, we all get a little dumber. Like, even back in the day. I know now we sound like old queefs. But you had to pull a map out. You had to find yourself on the map and then reverse engineer to the follow the line. It was crazy.

[C]

Then you pull over directions too.

[A]

Printing directions. Remember, you got halfway there, you pulled over like, hey, sorry, sir, I'm looking for this. And you go, oh, you gotta go six blocks that way. Take a right. Now you're interacting with someone. All that's gone. Yeah, it's all gone.

[B]

I mean, to bring it back to something even baser. This will appeal to you guys because you're gross people. But like, my manager in Australia used to tell me, like he used to be. And then we experienced this too. This is his take, not mine. He said it used to be like, you had to call if you want to call a girl. You had to call the house phone.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you had to navigate that deal with their dad. Whatever was on the other end of the. Navigate that. You know, and that.

[A]

That.

[B]

I guess that gave you some kind of skill set to navigate society a little bit. But now it's like you're just either directly messaging.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or you're just going into that boobs.

[C]

You had to talk to the.

[B]

You had to talk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have to call.

[A]

You.

[B]

You. What do you mean you? You're the same age.

[A]

No, I know.

[C]

I remember. I'm forgetting that it was like, holy.

[B]

You got to call the house. And then who knew who picked up? Someone picked up your. Hello. Is. Is Stacy.

[C]

And then freaking Stacy's not available, you piece of shit. Put her on the phone.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It was like hostage negotiations.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Figure out. Navigate that. That's a skill set. That.

[C]

Oh, we would prank call him too. And it was like.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God. I remember one guy One guy called my home like one day, called my home like a hundred times. And I was like, thank God my parents left town. I was like, if he got them, I was fucked.

[A]

Oh, shit.

[C]

There was this girl I had a crush on and my friend and we like kissed at some dance when I was a kid. And I was like, it'd be funny. My friend's like, it'd be funny if we call and like, say, you want to bang her to the dead.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And. And we didn't.

[A]

He's funny.

[C]

He's like, I'll kill you. I'll murder you. And I was like, oh. He's like, where are your parents? I was like. And I hung up. And then he knows you.

[A]

He didn't recognize the star.

[C]

Six nine.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

So we just kept calling back. And I was like, oh, fuck.

[A]

Oh no. I forgot about my parents.

[C]

He tried so many times. I was like, fuck. He's. I'm like, delete message. Delete message.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Figure out how to.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

How do you resolve. Can you just unplug the phone?

[C]

I guess I could have. I think I remember he would leave messages and I would just keep deleting them. I got away with it.

[B]

Right. So he. Eventually he gave up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

America was crazy back then. Remember? You like, your address was just in a phone book.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Someone could look you up and come and kill you.

[A]

That's so true. It was just right there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You could look up whatever the morals.

[C]

Unlisted was a power move.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was like, whoa, this dude must be some kind of hot shot.

[A]

Well, it's funny because now we go, he's been doxed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Eight years ago I was like, you're in the book. Like, docks, my ass. You're.

[C]

You're. If you have a shitty name, you're getting prank called.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, that was Harry Sack. You're.

[A]

You're done. You're done.

[B]

Right?

[A]

In my neighborhood, I lived in a black neighborhood. So people would call me like. And I go, hello? And they go, oh, man, wrong number. Immediately they'd go off my voice. Those were different times.

[B]

But, yeah, that America is actually very hard to stay private.

[A]

Hey, I know, I know. Everywhere.

[C]

And now, now we're voluntarily sharing so much.

[B]

Yeah, but what.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was the logic of. I guess people were just more trusting.

[A]

Back then, I think.

[B]

So put your phone number in the phone book. It was fine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In case, you know, a long lost relative is looking for me.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

School friend is looking for me. At least he's there again.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, people would put on their. Their doormat, the Johnsons or whatever. Everything went a little more loose.

[C]

When is it good that someone's looking for you?

[A]

You.

[B]

No, it's never.

[C]

It's never good.

[A]

Not. Not rarely. 99 of the time. It's bad. You know, I was thinking about this. Remember getting your films developed, like your pictures developed?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That was weird because a. A guy was just looking at your.

[B]

Yeah, someone was looking at. Yeah, let's look at. And also sometimes you. You spent money and the photo was.

[A]

Was all blotted out.

[B]

Yeah. Was.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're like, oh, this is a bad one. We took a bad one.

[A]

Well, my first thought was, hey, what the. Who's this weirdo? Look at my. Then I realized I post half my online anyway. It's all the same.

[C]

With a joke with the disposal camera where you just open your paint.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

He was duty sworn to develop those photos. You had to look at your dick, though.

[A]

But the dick pic spike, when that ended to, like, when that ended, the dick pic went way up. Because you could just send it, you know, right, right back then to get a dick pic.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Some other guy.

[B]

We sound so old.

[A]

I know, I'm like almost 40. But here's my thing. I'm glad this, the. The phone is the first invention in history. I'm glad I lived before it. Like, oh, you see what I'm saying? Like, if penicillin. No one's like, I'm glad I grew up. But the phone, I'm like, oh, great.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad I. My brain wasn't damaged.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[C]

I remember when Snake on a Nokia was like, oh, my God, Snake. This was incredible.

[A]

That was big. Even the phone camera, like the old one that. The Razor had a little phone camera that blew my mind.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Take a picture of your dick.

[A]

Yeah, it all comes back. You can send a jpeg.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

The razor was a power move because you. You get the guy who didn't say good goodbye would just go, oh, the clamshell head.

[A]

That was good.

[C]

Thought he was Ari Gold.

[B]

Did you guys have pagers?

[A]

I had it for a hot minute.

[B]

I had a pager Minotau in Singapore was pretty big.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Pager culture was big. Yeah. Well, the Motorola pagers.

[A]

The thing about the pager was I hated it because I was like, ah, people can find me. Oh, you hate it that I got rid of it. Then, then here we are.

[B]

Here we. Here you are. We are 20, 25.

[C]

That was a big joke at comedy clubs. For a while, like, please silence your phones. Or if you have a pager, you're living in the wrong year. And you'll be like, all right, all right. They'd like reluctantly.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What are you, a drug dealer? Big laugh.

[A]

All right. That was everywhere.

[C]

That was like. That was like. Like these stock hack host lines in like 2008.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, the host. Not even a VO.

[C]

No, no, the host. You'd be like, you got a pager. Look at this guy. If there was crowd work, insta clips back then, there'd be a lot of dudes being like, this guy's got a pager.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Explode.

[A]

And my wife will text me 80 times a day. But just think like, my dad went to work at 8:30, got there at 9, work till 5, got home at 5:30, never heard from the wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not like she was calling him at his office maybe for an emergency.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a.

[A]

That's heaven.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

That's rock is a bit about that. Like why the marriage has lasted longer. Just disappear and then you come back.

[A]

That's perfect.

[C]

All day.

[A]

That's big.

[B]

Yeah, that. That's something. Yeah. But now it's one thing I, I saw someone have this take on. On the Internet. I wish I could give them credit, but it was something about how well, we're using AI to do the creative when the creative is the fun part. And we should be using AI to do the marketing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because the marketing is what we hate.

[A]

Good point.

[B]

But instead we're doing the marketing. Well, we use AI to do the creative and it's like we're doing the worst job. And having them do. Having the AI do the best part of the job.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's how come I can't get AI to sell these tickets and.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah, like, we're using it to create. Yeah.

[A]

Because people are using for. For like copy and emails and like I need a notary printed or whatever, a cover letter. People use it for that. But yeah, the marketing. That's a good point.

[B]

You know the guy go for, hey, do you like comedy? Giving out flyers. That should be AI.

[A]

That should be AI.

[C]

Yeah, I'll tell you, like, point. Some of the AI is brutal though. I had a cable outage and I'm like, you know, I'm trying to get to a person. They're like, a person's an hour wait. AI can talk to you. Oh no, let me try AI. I'm doing the typing back and forth. And it's like, it's like don't understand what this means. Again. Again. I'm like, it's one of the two options you gave me. And they're like, I don't understand. I'm like, a human will not just malfunction.

[A]

Right?

[C]

So there's still work to be done. But like, I mean, that's all those jobs, like in India and stuff, they're going to AI.

[A]

Yep, yep.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

And it's not a. It's not a well oiled machine, at least yet. It's not, right.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

I do think comedy is hot too. The more I see AI, the more I'm like, oh, you guys can't replace this on stage, live.

[C]

You know, like, cut to us all canceling our next tours. Robot Ronnie.

[A]

Well, type in. Make me a Ronnie joke. Do you got. You got chat gbt?

[B]

No, don't do this. You'll teach it. Don't do this.

[C]

Anyone. Anyone could do it.

[A]

Do. Do mine, then.

[B]

No, do it. Do Magnolia.

[C]

Let's do a joke of all of our.

[A]

Put in a one hour photo, make a joke about photo development in the 90s.

[C]

And let's get a Norman take, a Ronnie take, and a Sam take. Let's see what we get.

[A]

Okay. Okay. This is exciting. Now we're doing something this.

[C]

I hate it too. But we need to know.

[A]

I know. You got to know what you're up against.

[B]

Sure. Here's why I mark no one's voice.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Photos.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You drop off a roll of film, wait three days and pray half of it wasn't just your thumb.

[A]

Three days.

[B]

That's how long it took to find out your ugly. November nowadays is instant. That's how long it took for you to find out you're ugly nowadays. It's instant.

[A]

That's not bad.

[B]

Back then I was like, sorry, pal, you're unattractive. But we had to double check in the lab.

[A]

Comedy.

[B]

It actually said comedy. Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That's how much of your brain is in it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Let's see what we got for me.

[B]

You should do this.

[C]

Man. Photo development in the 90s was wild. You drop off a roll of film, wait a week and then find out. Yeah, you wasted 36 shots on your buddy blinking. And then the guy at cvs, all of it first, and he's like, hey, I just wanted pictures of my vacation, not a custody battle for my dignity.

[A]

Decent wording at the end, but not funny at all.

[C]

Not funny. Okay, it's good word choice, but it's not. It's like. Sounds like A joke, but it's not a joke.

[A]

Yeah, it was funny.

[C]

Norman got me, dude.

[B]

Oh, shit. Oh, no. Oh, no.

[A]

Photo. Alright, I'll do yours. Okay. Should I do the eyes? Photo development in the 90s was the dumbest thing ever. You take pictures, then you have to wait a week to see them. A week? What is this, the Stone Age? And when you finally get them back, half are blurry and the other half are your mom's finger. Why did I pay $12 to find out My family doesn't know how to use a camera.

[C]

Ronnie and mine were kind of similar.

[A]

Yeah, they.

[C]

AI AI. Ronnie's a joke thief.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Now put it in Carlos Mencia's voice.

[A]

Mine had the ugly thing in it, which I don't like.

[C]

The ugly turn they only.

[A]

It was the best term. But why'd they have to make. They made me the mean guy.

[C]

You're the mean guy, dude.

[A]

I mean, I'm Lisa Lampanelli, queen of me.

[C]

We get a mencia take or no?

[A]

Oh, all right. Who's got a Mexican accent? Back in the 90s, you had to take your film to get developed. Yeah. Drop it off, wait a week, come back, surprise. That's 24 pictures of your dad's hairy back at the beach and you still have to pay for it. Only in the 90s could you spend money to find out your family's ugly. Wow. They got his catchphrase.

[B]

Oh, that's his catchphrase?

[A]

Yeah, he used to do that.

[C]

It was like the voice and he got away. Yeah, that was like his whole thing.

[A]

Yeah. All right. I didn't even know Rogan's pissed about this bit. Yeah. Isn't that funny that Rogan got kicked out of the store for that and his management dropped him. Wow. After that fight.

[B]

Yes, I remember that.

[C]

Different time.

[A]

And then now look who's. You know. So it just shows. Like, time will really tell, I guess.

[B]

Yeah. You know, this is scary, though. I don't dare to.

[C]

I don't dare.

[B]

I don't dare to type this in. Now, I don't want to teach you.

[A]

Anything, but this is good. We're safe for another couple years, I hope.

[C]

You just had one take and it kind of did too much with our voices.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

No creativity. It's stuck at a wall.

[B]

Yes. I mean, this. If more honorable people would use this as a hack check.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

But they won't. But I'm just saying, if it's here, it's hacked.

[A]

That is a pretty good tool, though.

[B]

But it is good. But no One's going to use iPad.

[A]

I think that's a good. I might start doing that. I remember we did I'm hackjack, like have this.

[C]

I remember a friend and I cheated in school once. We were really young and we would do things like I do one paper, he'd do the other and we were just. We would just copy and copy each other. And one time, to make sure, he made sure that I wouldn't copy his verbatim, he's like, make sure you make changes to the sentences. I was like, you got it. And I look. And he put the word kike every other sentence to make sure I read it. And I was like, thank God I fucking. I usually even look.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Can you imagine handing that one in?

[A]

That's hilarious. That could be a bit. That's a funny story.

[B]

So funny. Yeah, that's really funny.

[A]

I was a funny friend.

[B]

Was that in college or high school? High school. All right.

[A]

Was he Jewish?

[C]

He was not.

[A]

Even better. Yeah, that's.

[C]

Well, that's the types of friendships we had.

[B]

But he did it just to encourage you.

[C]

Encourage me to read. He used racism for me to cheat.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

It's great.

[A]

That's the bit.

[B]

Yeah. I know you love this. I know you love that.

[A]

That's great. Yeah, See, racism can be good.

[C]

Racism can be good.

[A]

You push me, especially in a school setting.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Hooked on phonics. All right.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[C]

You got a lot of dates coming up. You, you're going out with Hassan Minaj.

[B]

Hassan, however you pronounce his name. I don't know.

[C]

I thought it was Hassan.

[B]

Nobody knows. Isn't Urdu. No one. Sorry, we can't speak Urdu.

[A]

True or don't.

[B]

Yeah, we're going out. We're doing a two hander show. We're both on stage at the same time and.

[C]

No stand up.

[B]

I mean, I. That's comedy. Is it?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, but it's. But it's. You guys, like kind of.

[B]

Yeah, we're not. We're not doing like. I do 30. He does 30 minutes and then we come on the end and it's. The whole show is us on stage litigating our grievances against each other. And that's awesome. We got some surprises in there. We have built. We have production value. It's not just, you know, two guys in T shirts holding a bunch of whiskeys and just being like, we can make money. Right? This is you. You'll pay for this.

[A]

Right, right. And does he wear a suit or just. Oh, you both suit. No. Boy, okay.

[B]

Yeah, I think there's something also with, like, if you're Asian in, in America, I think you gotta dress up a bit. Otherwise it's easy to become a bit of a, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like you, you look like that. You don't. You don't want to be the, the butt of the joke. You want to be dishing it out.

[C]

I never thought. He's a well dressed guy too.

[A]

Oh, yeah, he looks great. Great hair. Everything. The. Even, like the five o' clock shadow is perfect.

[B]

Yeah, perfect. Everything's not pressed at all.

[A]

But you're right, Bobby Lee looks like hell. You see Bobby Lee, he looks like he's been at a music fest for three weeks. Got a weird T shirt, a yellow hat on.

[B]

Bobby rocks the chaotic look.

[A]

He does. That's true. That's a good point.

[B]

He rocks the chaos. He's the, you know, 50 year old in a beanie.

[A]

Right. He was a skateboarder, beanie and T shirt. And he's, you know, very LA, CA cool, laid back guy.

[B]

Yeah, well, I don't know.

[C]

He's not like.

[A]

Yeah, he's pretty high stroke and he's gonna kill himself. But yeah, you know what I mean?

[C]

He does always look like he just got out of rehab.

[A]

He does.

[C]

You don't know if he's going in.

[B]

Or going out, but he's always very supportive.

[C]

I love, we love Bobby Lee.

[A]

Bobby's great. Maybe the, the Jordan of podcasting. I mean, who's a better podcaster than Bobby Lee?

[B]

Definitely not me.

[C]

No, he is. He's unreal.

[A]

He's unreal. He can.

[B]

He's so good at podcasting that he doesn't need to release any specials. Talking. He's so good at podcast one out though. Has he.

[C]

He's.

[A]

He is going to. He's going to.

[B]

That's, that's. He said he says for like years.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

But he's hilarious. Killer. He could play anytime he wants. But his podcasting is so strong that once you have a killer fade away. I mean, do you even need to go left anymore?

[C]

Like, I don't know what the Jordan thing is. His stand up special is gonna be Jordan playing baseball.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Just to stretch yourself.

[C]

No, you know what? He, he, he needs like an assistant to just go through all of his amazing stories from podcasts and just hand them to him and then he works them out on stage.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Because the amount of moments he has that are just pure gold on gold.

[A]

I can think of one story he shouldn't use but mostly all of them really good.

[B]

Yeah, he's killer. He's a killer. He's OG as well. He's one of the original.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Who were comics when you first came here who were like really cool to.

[A]

You besides us and you looked up to.

[B]

Before I came here. Before I came here, it was Todd Berry, Bill Burr, it was Louie, it was. It was Colin Quinn.

[C]

Didn't. Didn't Burr slide in your face?

[B]

Bill Burr slid into my Facebook. Yes.

[A]

Whoa. Really?

[B]

Yeah. He was very nice to. He. Out of nowhere, he just messaged me on Facebook.

[A]

He was just like, jimmy Oyang, I'm a big fan.

[B]

He said he saw my, my JFL set. Not even a, you know, not even a headline spot. It's just like a 10 minute set on just for laughs. He said he watched on a plane.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

He said he loved the bit.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

He reached out and just said, hey, I just want to let you know I love the bit and hope we can work together.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

I, man, you're a legend. And I, I live in Australia, so I don't know if I'll ever meet you. But, you know, thank you for reaching out. And he said, I'm touring in Australia next year. I'd love for you to be on.

[C]

Oh, that's pretty cool.

[B]

It's super cool.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

It's super cool. I didn't even believe it was him until. Because his picture was a truck. This could be anybody. So I couldn't even believe it.

[A]

Good comics watch comedy. I've noticed like, like Seinfeld's always watching. He loves you as well. He's a big. He's always bringing you up. But I feel like, like when I used to open for Louie and he was like, you know this Carmichael guy? Yeah, he's funny. And I was like, really? Oh, yeah, you're. Why, you know, Carmichael. Because he wasn't Carmichael yet. He wasn't on every HBO special. But I remember he was like, handle that Hannibal guy. He's all right. I mean, he was bigger, but they knew all their stuff and so that was always impressive to me.

[B]

Yeah, but you got like, that's comedy, right? Like we.

[A]

I guess so.

[B]

I think that's what separates us from influencers on is that I think we appreciate the history of it more.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

History being literally what someone did last week. Like the history of it. History of like everyone's bits who's done what. Like we. Yeah, we love it.

[C]

And where it's going to see a funny young comic.

[B]

Yeah, it Is. Yeah, it's funny. It's like, damn. And. And, yeah. Anyway, I. I really think that's what separates the comedy comedians from the other art forms. You know, it's like, man, we always, like, want to hear this great bit from someone else. Like, oh, you heard that bit? Oh, and also, I think you said it right. Only hacks love the material.

[A]

I think you told me it's crazy.

[C]

I think it's crazy.

[B]

Hacks love the bit.

[C]

If you're doing your bit enough, you gotta hate it, right? So you gotta. You gotta move on to the next one.

[A]

Sure, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And even if you have a bit that's good, you're like, I fooled these idiots again. Yeah, this was a good bit.

[C]

I just feel like every good comic I've ever met is just living in fear of their next good bit.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I mean, it's not a healthy way to live, but I feel like every good company, like, they don't enjoy the present enough. And they're like, if they have a killer bit, they can't enjoy it because they're like, how the fuck am I gonna write another one?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yes. Don't even really enjoy it.

[A]

Never happy.

[C]

And then how the fuck am I gonna write. And then the people. I should be more. Look, there's some people I'm sure love their shit who aren't hacks, but it does feel right, right?

[B]

Yeah, it feels right. I used to think the only way I could have a good set was if I had a killer bit that worked perfectly. I wrote a new bit on stage in the same set, and I had a good crowd interaction.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

If those three things didn't happen, I'm.

[C]

Like, I'm just a lot.

[B]

I'm just a hat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And even when those three things happen, it's like what you said, you're like, oh, this will never happen again. And then.

[C]

Yeah, when you're killing, you're kind of like, well, it should be killing. I've been torn with this for a while. When you don't kill, you're like, I'm not killing with this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I'm torn with this. It's hard to ever feel good. But then.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, man. I mean, we always are. I think just living in fear is part of it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's part of it and it's great.

[C]

But we were talking a lot about the Billy Joel doc recently because he was writing his best shit when his life was just chaos.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I wish I didn't relate to that. But, like, I do feel like I'm like, my jokes that are working. I'm like, wow, I had a really stupid night. That's a bit. Sometimes something bad happens to me that's outside my control. But I do feel like it's easier to create when you're just gifted a ridiculous situation. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm the opposite. When I'm. My life's in turmoil, I can't get creative because I'm too worked up and thinking about it. So I think it's different strokes. But yeah, the Billy Joel thing, he's getting divorced, his money got stolen. He's like, I'm going back to work and I'm writing songs. And he was putting out his best shit.

[C]

Yeah. His hangover song was, you had to be a big shot. He was like, I'm yelling at myself. Hungover.

[A]

He wrote Piano man when he was working at a bar as the piano guy. And he's like, this sucks. I'll write a song about it.

[B]

Yeah. Sometimes the constraints are creative.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Sometimes the constraints literally in filmmaking or. Or sketch or something, it's like not having unlimited options and resources actually is what makes it funnier. So sometimes comedy is like that too. It's like having, you know, this shitty situation or like not having enough time to be creative or whatever is what, you know, know the constraints is what makes you kind of rise to it.

[A]

Yeah. Like you ever had to turn a dirty joke clean to get it on something? It tends to be a little more well written because you had to work around those goal posts a little bit.

[C]

You're unfound, you're like. And then I effed her in the behind.

[A]

Exactly. I put my index in her jar. Jinga. Sorry.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's a weird word.

[C]

Nice beef.

[A]

Leave it to beaver.

[B]

I wonder if you can say beaver on. On.

[A]

Oh, no chance.

[C]

Not in the context of a giant.

[B]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Well, if you just go, no, no, it's the animal. I'm talking about the animal.

[C]

You know, the animal where you just go, what about. Yeah, I'm trying to think of some others, like you make a clean joke. But then sometimes when you. Those constraints will really help you. Like a low budget movie, the script has to be fucking like even. I don't know what the budget for Megan was, but they, I mean, they had, you know. Yeah, we had to be a fun script, right?

[B]

Yeah. Constraints on that. Just by. Yeah, we. And it was. I'm trying to think of.

[A]

But flying you guys out to New Zealand's not Cheap.

[B]

No, at that time it was. It was a proper movie budget, but they were constrict because you don't have unlimited. Had special effects money. So you had to, you know, figure out how to be smart with it. So they had a. I guess this is not for me to say. I mean, the director is probably better suited to talk about, but we had a. A movement genius of a girl be the doll. Instead of pure cgi, we. They put a. A girl who. Girl who had perfect. Just body control. And. And I think. I don't know if it was for budgetary reasons or that was his vision, but she is the one who did that dance. That. That clip. Because of that, it went viral. Good. And then it made the. It made the movie pop.

[A]

Whoa. There you go.

[B]

Versus. I don't know if they had unlimited budget, would they have just cgi, the whole thing? You know, I don't know. I don't know if that's a creative choice or not. But.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's an example of having some constraints, I think.

[A]

But yeah. And also a good example of a human beating the. Yeah. Beating the robot.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Human beating AI. Yes.

[A]

We gotta start winding down, but I gotta ask you about the Marvel. You're in the Marvel verse. That's right. That's fun.

[B]

Yeah, it's okay.

[A]

What do you mean? You get the suit, you get the muscles, you get to.

[B]

No, no, I'm not. I'm not. I'm the.

[A]

Well, you were one of them.

[B]

No, no, I'm not. Oh, you guys are being racist now.

[A]

Oh, wait a minute.

[B]

I was in the Marvel movie, but I'm not the superhero guy.

[C]

You thought he was a star.

[B]

You thought it was Shangchi.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

My Apple watch is going on a guy. No, not that guy.

[B]

I'm not that guy.

[A]

I'm thinking of a different guy. I'm thinking of squid game.

[B]

You think? Wow, that's awful.

[C]

This was. Didn't this.

[B]

I thought you all could too. This was in co. We filmed it during COVID Yeah. I am in.

[A]

You're in this, right?

[B]

I am in.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Right. I can't tell if you're joking.

[B]

No, I mean, I'm not.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I'm not the guy. I'm not the.

[A]

I never actually saw the box or anything, so I just assume, oh, he's in it. He must be the guy. But I wasn't. I didn't think you were and that guy were the same person. I just thought you were the star. But I never knew what the poster.

[B]

Looked like, dude, I'm not the star of Marvel. Shangchi. Oh, I thought you were a very minor character.

[A]

See, like, look, your. Your face is next to the title there, so I just assumed. Oh, wait, go to the left.

[B]

No, that's. That's. That's a fan made.

[C]

Oh, you were in another movie I saw a couple years ago. The Two Girls. Right, The Two Girls. You know what I'm talking about.

[A]

The Two Girls movie.

[B]

What?

[C]

You were the guy in the nightclub, weren't you?

[B]

What am I? Oh, joyright.

[A]

Boom.

[C]

I was right.

[A]

Thank God.

[C]

Welcome to a new episode, right? Or racist.

[B]

I. I should play this game the whole time about can you guess what.

[C]

Movies was that the point now, if a big Asian movie comes out and you're not in it, what are they even doing?

[A]

No, you were in Crazy Rich Asians and Call Me maybe.

[C]

You were hilarious.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

I'm surprised. You. You could name the. Okay, name. Name another movie.

[C]

I was in Ronnie Chang. Love it or hate it.

[B]

That's a special.

[C]

That's. Were you in it or not, Ronnie?

[A]

Well, you were in Vacation Friends.

[B]

Was I in Vacation Friends too?

[A]

I thought.

[B]

Yes, I am.

[A]

Hey. Oh, there it is.

[B]

Look at this impressive IMDb that you know nothing about.

[A]

That is impressive. I can't keep track.

[C]

A lot of movies.

[B]

I mean, I'm.

[A]

Tonight Vacation runs one.

[B]

Yeah, I was not in Vacation.

[A]

Okay, Dude, Dude, Tuesday.

[C]

That's one of my faves.

[A]

Oh, man.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I wrote captions to it. I wrote the captions.

[A]

Captions to it, huh?

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I have friends who care about your stuff.

[A]

Wow. A lot of. A lot of flip.

[B]

I know everything you've been in, you're in Joker.

[A]

There you go. That's the one.

[B]

It was great. You were at the American Music Awards warming up.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

You warmed up for them at like, Radio City.

[A]

Yes. And you were bombing a big bomb.

[C]

I think the Joker had a better setup.

[A]

The Joker had a better.

[B]

Just said.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The thing.

[A]

It was bad.

[B]

This is what's so frustrating to me.

[A]

Is that that was Joker too.

[C]

You panic. You just start doing musical number.

[B]

That's also frustrating because you're brilliant comic, one of the greatest.

[A]

All right. What are you.

[B]

And then if you're bombing at that thing, it's like, well, it's not him. The problem isn't him. But then everyone thinks you're an.

[C]

That's a hell gig.

[B]

Yeah, it was hell gig, but no one knows. Yeah, but I remember you were there and you didn't post about it.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

And also, you're one of the most bulletproof guys I know.

[A]

They weren't even listening.

[B]

You are. You. You're almost psychopathic in that you feel nothing. You can bomb for one hour and feel nothing.

[A]

What, are you kidding? That would kill me.

[B]

No, no, you. You've done it.

[C]

No, I just.

[A]

He.

[C]

When he bombs, he's. Iraq.

[A]

I'm a mess after a bomb, really. Yeah.

[C]

But you will all are. Come on. It feels.

[B]

We all are, but he is. He'll walk out of the hour of be like, all right, well, I would.

[C]

Argue that's the only time he does feel.

[A]

Yes. Yes. That's better. Oh, I'm a wreck.

[B]

But you'll take bad gigs all the time.

[A]

All the time. Because I want to see if I can get them.

[B]

Yeah. So how can you say that you're. That you're not.

[A]

I do the pain in the shadows. I just don't let you see. It's called stoicism. You. You get hurt. You don't let other people see it.

[B]

Yeah, you either. It's either stoicism or you become a serial killer.

[A]

Or that I'm b. Or I hit my wife. It's got to come out somewhere.

[B]

So you. So you. But you'll do it. You know, so he's.

[A]

I'll do it.

[B]

In that sense, he's bulletproof.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Ah. I still feel the bullets, but I won't die.

[B]

You're like Wolverine.

[A]

Yeah, there you go.

[B]

You heal up. You heal up quickly.

[A]

That's it. Quickly. All right. I'll take it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But. Yeah, that was a hell of gig. It was such a bad gig that our friend Scott Rogowski went up to me. He was in the. He was in the front of the stage, and he went and took a selfie of me bombing with him in it. That's how little the audience gave a shit about my.

[C]

Yeah, he texted me. He goes, norman's here. He's bombing so hard.

[B]

How long did you have to do?

[A]

I was supposed to do 10. I did eight, and they cut it. The guy on the side was like.

[B]

But what are you doing? You're just warming up, right?

[A]

Just warming up. Just doing some zings, some zangs. I. I saw jlo, and she went. She's like, don't talk to me. Don't. Don't bring me to your Damn. Yeah, I did a zing on Ariana Grande. I think she flipped me off. I mean, it was bad. It was really bad. Talked about it on Opium Gym years ago. It's like, A ten minute story. But. Yeah.

[B]

Wait, no, this was.

[A]

But.

[B]

But this was like years ago. Last 10 years.

[A]

Yeah, it's probably like 2013 or.

[B]

No, it was after 15. It was after 15.

[A]

I don't know. Was it?

[B]

It was after I came to America.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

This bombing was so famous. I heard about it as soon as I thought that. America. I heard about this.

[A]

Oh, all right.

[C]

9, 11, then you.

[A]

Yes, yes. 911 was better. But.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but we've all bummed like that. That's just.

[A]

You know, at least they had help. They had. They had a fucking fireman coming in. I could have used a fireman. Just throw me over his shoulder and get me out of there.

[B]

This is the other thing about comedy. Not to wax poetic about, but. But the thing is that at these Hollywood things, comics, we don't get awarded, which we shouldn't, or countercultural figures who make fun of institutions. So we shouldn't. I. I'm fine. We're at the back of the bus making fun of people.

[A]

Love that.

[B]

That's fine. But the fact remains that all that when you go to award shows, the warm up comic is a stand up comic. The writers of the show are comics. The host is a comic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The showrunner is probably a former, if not current, comic.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So comedy is making all that run.

[C]

The homeless guy outside the venue.

[B]

It was comic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone.

[C]

Everyone's a com.

[B]

Everyone. Yeah, we. That whole thing, the whole machine. We are the things that lubricate.

[A]

Great point.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So we're the KY Jelly to their penis.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we win no awards at that thing either.

[B]

No. And.

[C]

But you know what? You wouldn't be having such a smooth ride without the ky. Yeah.

[A]

You're here. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. There you go. So you bombing is an essential. You took the bullet on that and.

[C]

That'S a better story than you can.

[A]

That's true. That's true.

[C]

Meanwhile, he would have been on a rocket ship. Some guy said, this is. This guy should take over for Fallon kids.

[A]

Got it. Yeah. No, no, thank you. They hated.

[C]

No, no, no. It's a better story, dude.

[A]

That's true. Right, Right. But I wish I didn't bring in the girl I was dating. Yeah, she left with Pete Davidson.

[C]

You went to a Diddy party.

[A]

I wanted to go to that.

[C]

Speaking of KY jelly.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I'll tell you, you're all right.

[B]

Why did you bring the girl?

[A]

I was. I thought it was cool. Is it Radio City? I was in the green room.

[B]

You should have known.

[A]

I got a black limo taking me up there. I was like, come on, baby, I'm the big time.

[C]

And then, damn.

[A]

Yeah. There was 9, 11. I was the Pentagon. I got hit too.

[B]

What was the gig? What was it again?

[A]

It was warm up for the MTV Music Awards. So it was all kids. It was like hot young teens, you know, dress of the nines. They're all hip.

[B]

They pay you.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I remember Dane Cook did that. Did like a segment on that show at the peak of his popularity, and he bombed.

[A]

He bombed.

[C]

So it just show. It's a hell gig.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You're not. You're not.

[B]

Isn't that irritating that people. They put you in these positions where you can't win.

[A]

I know. They don't know, though. They don't even know what they're putting.

[B]

They don't know. But I think what's worse is they don't care.

[A]

They definitely don't care.

[B]

You know? I mean, they. If they cared and it messed up, I'm like, at least you guys were trying to win.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Most of the time. They don't care. They plug you in like it's music.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Go in there and, you know fluorescent lights and, hey, you can just sing right here. Acoustic. Just go.

[A]

That's true, dude.

[B]

We need context.

[A]

Yeah. We need interaction, laughter.

[B]

Listen, we can't, you know, you can't just throw us on like, it's Metallica.

[A]

Right. You're right. You're right. That's so.

[B]

That's what's irritating to me, is when the producers don't care. And. And we get this all the time, like local producers. What? They're not even professional producers. There are people who are like, hey, I want to do a charity show to raise money. What can I do to raise money? Oh, I know. I'll get comics.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Let me get some comics and get some charity people. And then we'll just raise my. Everybody will win. And then they put on a horrible gig. The. The sound isn't right. They'll put on the sick person before you. Everyone's crying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You gotta follow the person with cancer.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And they're like, this is comedy. Right? And then you look like.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And they're like, oh, that comics sucks.

[A]

Yeah, I hate that.

[B]

I hate. That's my pet.

[A]

And then they're mad at you, like, what happened out there? I'm like, I did my act. You didn't set me up. You put me in the outdoors with a Fisher Price mic. Yeah.

[B]

And you. And you're like. And you're like, hey, I did this 50 times. It worked every time.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Work this time.

[A]

So that's you.

[B]

I'm not the variable here.

[C]

I mean, yeah, you're up there like, what is this, a cancer benefit? They're like, yes, yes, it is. Yeah, it's.

[B]

It's tough. It's a tough thing. And they don't know. So. Anyway, my point is that unlike you, I've learned to say no to that.

[A]

You.

[B]

You're like, no, I can get these guys.

[A]

I can get these guys.

[C]

I'm just, I'm like Mark in that way. I pretty much. If I get the offer, I'll pretty much do it.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

He's pretty good.

[B]

Usually you guys are true. I mean I've. I've done that before, you know, with corporates, but you guys take it to the next level of. I will challenge myself and I'm not scared of bomb bombing. And I don't know that's.

[C]

Well, your stand up is great, man. I mean, yeah. Put out killer specials. Truly. I mean, well, you guys, one of the best, man. Remember how much fun we had in that gig at Comics Come Home in Boston?

[B]

Oh, yeah, it was great. Yeah.

[C]

Literally, he had to switch trains.

[A]

Oh, I heard about this.

[C]

Was it your train that ran over the person or my train?

[B]

One of them.

[C]

One of our trains ran over a person. And I'm texting Ronnie, I'm like, are you on that train that ran someone over? And he's like, yeah, yeah. And the ticket guy is like, like, comes over to me and he's like, hey man, I know you're doing the show tonight. And I said, you know Ronnie Chang. He's like, yeah. I'm like, he's coming on the train anyway. Any chance you can get him on this train?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

We made sure we sat together, he was cool as we got him the.

[B]

Tickets and we sat next to each other and.

[C]

And the guys giving me like heads ups to every. Every few minutes. He's like, he's like. Cuz he, he recognized me. So he's like, hey, man, she was. It was a suicide. I'm like, oh, thanks, thanks. Then he's like, comes back a few minutes later, said an Indian style. I'm like, I don't need all this. He keeps coming back within. But he was cool as. And he came to the show.

[B]

He was very cool. He came to the show. He kept giving us too much information. Yeah. I was like, guys, we don't need to. Can you just tell us when he's moving? That's all.

[A]

Yeah, that's great.

[B]

And then we did a train to train. I don't know if you've ever seen this in America where it's train to train transfer. They put a ramp. Whoa.

[C]

Yeah. You.

[B]

You like you're docking spaceships.

[A]

Right? Right.

[B]

Just run across. And then so I, man, I had to. Yeah.

[C]

Then he emailed me at the end of the night. It was a sick lineup. It was, you know, burr, all these great comics on it. And he emailed me, man, that lady getting run over is the best thing that ever happened to me. Best show in my life. Because I wouldn't have started the combo without.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So, you know, sad story.

[B]

Anyway, anyway, it was.

[A]

Show was great, show was good.

[C]

And then at the end of the night when we just went into that hotel and it was like, blasty. It was one of those hip hotels. Oh, I hate that blasty music. We just looked at each other. We were exhaust. We went straight to the vent menu.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's exhausting. We just looked at each other like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then you're like, let's go sit in front of a train. Hey, so you got this? Any stand up stuff or are you just doing this for now?

[B]

Just doing this.

[A]

Okay, great.

[B]

I do. You know, I'm always doing spots around.

[A]

The city, but that's true. This, for now, selling out too. Holy. Hobby Center, Seattle. Fox Theater. That's a beauty.

[C]

Yeah, these are good, man.

[B]

You know these places, right?

[C]

Seattle, Houston, Tampa, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. toronto.

[A]

Dar. That's killer.

[C]

A lot of shows. Toronto, man, the Asians are coming out.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Indians and Asians on this one.

[C]

So Minneapolis, Chicago. Oh, this is exciting. These are big, dude. Miami, Orlando, Austin.

[B]

And I don't know, I don't get to, you know, we. We often. This is a solo gig, right? I mean, you have openers, but you don't get to kind of hang out with all your friends. And this is like a friend, you know? It's cool. It's a cool hang. So.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's great.

[C]

At the Beacon. That's a bunch.

[A]

Beacon. Wilbur.

[C]

Santiago. Chile. No, San Diego.

[A]

Oh, oh, oh. Scared me there.

[C]

San Jose, man, you're everywhere. San Francisco, you're crushing it. Oh, the Masonic's the best.

[B]

We're going. Okay.

[C]

Vancouver. Amazing.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Queen Elizabeth opened for Bob Saget there back in the day.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Saget.

[B]

I opened that festival.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I open for Bob Saget too, in. In Australia.

[A]

Damn. Good man.

[B]

Yeah, good man. Nicest guy.

[C]

Love this.

[A]

Sweet guy.

[B]

Yeah, he messaged me a lot during Asian hate.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

He was an ally.

[C]

All right, I'll be at the Venetian. September 19th, Rochester, New York, the 25th through the 27th. October 4th, the Chicago.

[B]

Oh, you're doing Chicago theater. Wow.

[C]

Love it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Winnipeg, Canada, the next night, October 5th. And we're in Riyadh, Barcelona, Milan, Dublin, Liverpool, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin.

[B]

Hey, I did this run last year. You've done it before, right? Yes, for this Europe run.

[C]

I love it.

[B]

It's great.

[C]

It's the best.

[B]

Guy's great.

[C]

It's the best. And I'm going to second time this year at Wise Guys Comedy Club. I love it that much. November 14th through 16th. Great club, Reno, Nevada, 29th November. And then Carnegie Hall. December 4th.

[B]

New Carnegie Hall.

[C]

Yeah, baby.

[A]

Very excited.

[C]

Mine, I've never done it.

[A]

Yeah. Whoa.

[B]

Okay. A little echoey.

[A]

A little bit.

[B]

Is it a little echoey?

[A]

Not the best sound in there, but you'll love it. The laughs. Really?

[B]

Yeah. You'll be great. But see what they can do.

[C]

But I hear it's a great show, guys. So by.

[B]

See if they can put, like, something to muffle the sound behind you or something.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

Something.

[C]

All right. We'll figure it out.

[B]

Yeah, but you'll be. You'll be fine. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not horrible.

[A]

No, it's not horrible. Trouble. Hey, I'm in Huntsville, Alabama. Hattiesburg, San Jose, Boulder, Colorado. We added a show. Come on By Riyadh, Athens, Oslo, Helsinki, Stockholm, Dublin at the Victor.

[B]

You're doing this Europe tour, too?

[C]

We're cooking.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

We're not a good time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

We're not. We're crossing. We're ships in the night.

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Valley Center. I believe that's a Harrah's. Then I'm doing Magoobies because I'll have to write a new hour. And then the D.C. lincoln Theater, Rochester, Niagara, San Diego. Come on out, say hello. Get yourself a bottle of Bodega Cat.

[C]

Punch up dot Live. Mark Norman. Punch up live. Sam Morrell.

[B]

Guys on Punch Up.

[A]

You better believe it.

[B]

Yeah, I love the idea of it.

[A]

You should do it.

[B]

I should do it. I'm doing okay with, like, on the main stuff right now, but.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It's good.

[A]

You never know.

[C]

Some emails.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, I love what Punch up is doing, so.

[C]

I love it. Well, buy some Bodega Cat Whiskey, bodegacatwhiskey.com. see Ronnie on tour. Watch all of his multiple Netflix specials. Great. Comic if you haven't seen it.

[A]

Yes. Killer.

[C]

We love you guys.

[A]

Check him out on the Daily Show.

[C]

See you next week.

[A]

Cleave it up. Comedy Sunday's a day for my next bender. A bit of piva wreck, you know, the beer. Choose close. I've had a little too much burping and. And Norman's talking shit about the fucking poke. And I get down in the same way up on the roof like a. Cops coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans this woman doesn't look like I remember her and I get down in the same way we might Might be true.