Ep 258: Roy Wood Jr.

Summary

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Podcast Summary: We Might Be Drunk – Ep 258: Roy Wood Jr.

Hosts: Mark Normand & Sam Morril
Guest: Roy Wood Jr.
Release Date: November 10, 2025

Episode Overview

NYC comedians Mark Normand and Sam Morril welcome Roy Wood Jr. for a spirited, joke-packed episode covering the grind of standup, touring stories, comedy industry changes, race and media in comedy, and how comedians adapt and thrive in the digital age. Along the way, they swap sharp anecdotes from the road, dissect the mechanics and culture of roasts, reminisce about legendary comics, and dig into Roy’s new book and career journey. The episode is rich in insight, laughs, and practical wisdom for anyone curious about the modern comedy landscape.

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Main Discussion Themes

1. Touring and Comedian Life on the Road

• Halifax & Ottawa Shows: Mark shares highlights from recent Canada gigs, describing Halifax as a "hidden gem" with a great crowd and recounting wild misadventures in Ottawa, including running late and high-energy sets.

  “Halifax… It’s one of those towns, like, thanks for coming. Nobody comes here. Cute. Beach town, lobster, water.” — Mark (00:44)

• Absolute Comedy Club: Both praise Canada's Absolute Comedy as one of the best clubs for working material, making tapes, and playing for smart, hot crowds.

  “They used to say, you go there to make a tape… go up there. Everything kills. Cambridge. Just go clean.” — Sam (05:20)

• Sandler Tour Life: Sam dishes on touring with Adam Sandler, playing mega-arenas and enjoying “summer camp” vibes, with daily basketball, steakhouse dinners, private jets, and run-ins with stars like Kevin Nealon and Fortune Feimster.

  “You fly private every day… it's a massive version of how I try to tour...” — Sam (10:00)

• Green Room Misadventures: Sam confesses to a disastrous moment — using Sandler’s green room bathroom with untimely results.

  “I went in the green room bathroom. It was not a good shit. It was a red meat and whiskey shit.” — Sam (07:29) “Rob Schneider was there, and he goes, you can't give him ammo. He's going to use this against you forever.” — Sam (08:19)

2. Comedy Roasts & Cross-Cultural Roast Culture

• Jamie Foxx vs. Doug Williams, and the Anatomy of Roasts: The gang analyzes the infamous moment Jamie Foxx roasted Doug Williams mid-set, discussing its backstory and why roasts are trickier in Black comedy contexts. Roy offers nuanced context, noting that Foxx's heckling was payback for Doug's off-camera bravado.

  “Jamie just starts pretending to be his conscience… what every comedian has when you're bombing, you're thinking to yourself the whole time.” — Roy (21:00) “I just don't know if you could organize a situation for any black celebrity to just sit there while other black celebrities just belittle him.” — Roy (21:51)

• Comparing Roast Cultures: They explore why Black entertainers rarely do mainstream-style roasts, discussing trust, authenticity, and communal ties.

  “The idea of get him back, and I roast out of love — it would have to legitimately be people out of love.” — Roy (22:11)

• Comedy Central Roasts: The group reminisces about the early days, behind-the-scenes stories, and limitations of industry roasts, including why some line-ups feel cold and impersonal (Chevy Chase, Bruce Willis, etc).

3. Industry Wars: TV Specials vs. YouTube & Self-Producing

• Changing Comedy Distribution: Roy details his journey through traditional TV specials (Comedy Central, Hulu, Paramount+) and doubts the value of waiting for industry validation.

  “There's still some sort of prestige to… industry. Of course, when the truth is that the industry probably doesn't fucking matter that much.” — Roy (46:04) “Waiting on the coding, waiting on the tech to catch up. Yeah, it was fucking horrible.” — Roy (48:00)

• The YouTube Revolution: Mark and Sam describe their move to YouTube out of “desperation,” realizing later it was the smartest move as platforms like Comedy Central lost relevancy with locked, geo-fenced content.

  “It was an act of desperation. It wasn't like business savvy on our part.” — Sam (56:40)

• Advice to Comedians: The importance of self-released content, sharing resources, and constant reinvention — with practical strategies for reaching wider and younger audiences.

  “Find what you love. Find a place it can live and do it over and over again.” — Roy (69:32) “Any comic is better off just doing 15s every month… then chop them down to 90 seconds for social.” — Roy (50:10)

• Race & Comedy Networking: Mark asks why “black comics shoot fewer YouTube specials.” Roy attributes it to quest for industry legitimacy, lack of strategy-sharing, and cultural differences in networking.

4. Legacy, Evolution, and Comedy Preservation

• On Adaptation: Reflecting on George Wallace, John Witherspoon, Gaffigan, and Seinfeld, they discuss how comics survive generational shifts by staying nimble and relevant.

  “You only do that if you can reinvent, invent constantly.” — Roy (66:07)

• Immortality of Comedy: They praise Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee and the Comedy Museum in Jamestown, NY for preserving legacies and intimate stories of legendary comics.

  “Comedians in Cars is the closest thing to this in terms of immortalizing conversations with comedians.” — Roy (74:40)

5. Comedian Relationships, Burnout, and Support

• On Helping Others: Roy and the hosts talk freely about the challenges of mentoring, setting boundaries, and pouring energy into others’ careers.

  “Do you ever hit a wall of not wanting to help people anymore for feeling like you haven't helped yourself enough?” — Roy (58:35)

• Partner/Personal Support: Roy shares lessons from Spanky Brown and others about needing support in relationships and the impact bad energy can have on creative work.

  “If you're going to be with somebody, choosing somebody that actually complements what you do or is in support of it… you can't be no spoiler.” — Roy (93:25)

6. Audience Building, Demographics, and Longevity

• Turning Audience Over: They discuss how as comedians age, their fanbase skews older unless they actively seek to engage younger fans through new media.
• Importance of Platforms for Growth: The internet presents opportunities for new audience discovery every day, but only if comics share and publish their work widely.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the comedy touring life:
  “Touring with Sandler is like summer camp. Steakhouse every night. By night three, I'm going to feel sick from all this red meat.”
  — Sam Morril (06:32)

• On the infamous Jamie Foxx roast incident:
  “Jamie just starts pretending to be his conscience, which is what every comedian has when you're bombing, you're thinking to yourself the whole time.”
  — Roy Wood Jr. (21:02)

• On old-school vs. new-school distribution:
  “Comedy Central – they really were living like it was 1992. Here's one airing of that thing you worked for years on.”
  — Sam Morril (47:01)

• On self-producing:
  “I should have took 30k and shot that bitch myself. If I'd have shot that bitch myself in 2016, what the fuck would that number be by now?”
  — Roy Wood Jr. (56:29)

• On sharing knowledge:
  “There’s no master class for how to do stand up shit. Share it. We'll share it ... I’ll talk. Any young comic who’s like, really, really wants it, I’ll fucking answer you.”
  — Sam Morril & Roy Wood Jr. (57:44–57:56)

• On lasting relevance:
  “You only do that if you can reinvent, invent constantly.”
  — Roy Wood Jr. (66:07)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:44 — Mark & Sam rave about Halifax and Ottawa as comedy towns
• 06:32 — Sam’s stories of touring with Sandler and private jet life
• 07:29–08:23 — Sam’s green room faux pas and ribbing from Sandler & Schneider
• 21:00–24:11 — Dissecting the Jamie Foxx/Doug Williams roast incident
• 31:54–34:02 — Industry “gotcha” takedowns, cancel culture, and bouncing back
• 46:04–50:14 — Roy compares Black and white comedians’ strategies & the YouTube pivot
• 56:17–57:56 — The "YouTube special" revolution explained
• 66:07–67:54 — How comics survive by evolving and finding new audiences
• 73:07–75:38 — The importance of the Comedy Museum and immortalizing comedy legends
• 84:53–85:53 — Mark’s “Cameo” birthday surprise from Mark McGrath (Sugar Ray)
• 86:26–88:35 — Roy discusses writing his first book, family dynamics, and emotional challenges
• 90:28–92:51 — Lessons in standing one’s ground and personal relationships from Spanky Brown

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Episode Mood & Tone

Raucous, honest, and naturally conversational with tightly woven punchlines and open reflections. Jokes about the process and lifestyle mingle seamlessly with sharp, practical advice and behind-the-scenes stories. The camaraderie is tangible, and the episode captures the lived-in reality of comics who love their craft enough to constantly adapt, critique the status quo, and look out for each other.

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Closing Notes & Plugs

Roy Wood Jr.:

• New book out now—stories about fatherhood and life lessons
• Fall tour: Book included with each ticket
• Catch Roy on CNN's panel show

Mark Normand & Sam Morril:

• Upcoming shows all over the US and Europe
• Check out their YouTube specials
• Bodega Cat Whiskey now available (ask your local bar/comedy club)

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“Find what you love. Find a place it can live and do it over and over again.”
— Roy Wood Jr. (69:32)

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Transcript

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Boom.

[Mark Normand]

Swish.

[Sam Morril]

Here we are.

[Mark Normand]

Hey.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Hey.

[Sam Morril]

Good to be back.

[Mark Normand]

We might be drunk. We're here. We're queer.

[Sam Morril]

You go hard this weekend?

[Mark Normand]

Not really. Actually. I had DeVito opening and he was taking it easy, so I kind of took it easy.

[Sam Morril]

But he usually will grab a tequila soda or something. He's usually drinking something when I'm with him.

[Mark Normand]

I got him a few and he was like, I'm good. He had two. And I noticed he was falling asleep every night. So I was like, all right, we should go home. And when you guys start doing this.

[Sam Morril]

One, I'm like, he's the driver, too.

[Mark Normand]

God, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Damn it.

[Mark Normand]

A great weekend in Canada.

[Sam Morril]

Where'd you hit?

[Mark Normand]

We did Halifax. Hidden gem. Wow.

[Sam Morril]

I don't think I've ever been.

[Mark Normand]

Great town. It's one of those towns, like, thanks for coming. Nobody comes here. Cute. Beach town, lobster, water. Great.

[Sam Morril]

I heard it's great.

[Mark Normand]

Great. It's like an hour and a half flight. It's totally doable. Like, this should be more comedies.

[Sam Morril]

Nova Scotia.

[Mark Normand]

That's it.

[Sam Morril]

That salmon, baby.

[Mark Normand]

New Canada. Our new Scotland is what that means. And yeah, look at that. Just like, beautiful riverfront views.

[Sam Morril]

It looks like Portland, Maine. That's insane.

[Mark Normand]

It's very similar to Maine without the heroin.

[Sam Morril]

There's got to be some heroin in Halifax. Probably a little heroin in Portland, Maine. It's fucking dicey, dude. In the booze.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Maine is hillbilly north.

[Sam Morril]

Not to mention they're like Lobster Hitler out there. It's like literally just like every. Every fucking block, they're rounding them up. It's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Sam Morril]

Like, we gotta meet. You're like, all right. Jesus Christ.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true. It's all. It's a genocide. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

They're dumping them in the little fucking. And they're making merch out of it.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Not only they dumping them in, but they're fucking. They're merchant. Every store is like, get a lobster T shirt.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Are we rubbing it in?

[Mark Normand]

And you pick your lobster to eat, which is also pretty brutal.

[Sam Morril]

That was a great Richard Jenny joke. You know the joke I'm talking about where you ever. You go to the seafood restaurant and you see the tank full of lobsters and they all have that same look like. Any word from the governor? It's a great bit.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's great.

[Sam Morril]

Richard Jenny was great.

[Mark Normand]

He was underrated. Killer.

[Sam Morril]

So funny.

[Mark Normand]

Check out Platypus. Is it Platypus?

[Sam Morril]

All his shit's great. I listened to an album Recently. And it was like, his opening line was great too. It was like, I have a easy job. Not the easiest job. It's pretty easy. Easiest job. It was when Michael Jackson was in the trial. The lawyer against Michael Jackson. That guy, all he has to do is go up against MJ and create reasonable doubt. I'm paraphrasing, I'm butchering the wording, but like, great open, just like get right into it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, I told you. My favorite. Every time I try to bang my wife in the ass, she turns into Elvis Ho. Hey. Thank you very much.

[Sam Morril]

He was an underrated comic, man.

[Mark Normand]

He did commentary and he was silly and he had huge act outs and great takes. He was great.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he was, he was. And it was like, like he had like a bit of Carlin where it was written and it was like the word choice was important, but then it was also like, great performer.

[Mark Normand]

Great.

[Sam Morril]

A little Robin Williams too.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. He was like, well rounded.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Killed himself.

[Mark Normand]

Fucking terrible Brooklyn guy.

[Sam Morril]

Don't, don't. Yeah. I heard a story actually from my buddy who worked a club back in the day, was like, he was convinced a guy in Brooklyn in the mob, wanted to kill him. And it was like going on for years and they had to do like a sit down and all that. I mean, it's fucking weird.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa, wait, what was his real name? Go up. Real name? John. Richard. John Kalang. Kalangalo Calendulo. Calendulo. I did not know that. He's super whoppy, huh? Maybe that's why the mob hated him.

[Sam Morril]

Well, he must have made fun of someone or something.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So you. So Halifax, was that it? Or do you go all over Canada?

[Mark Normand]

Halifax was great. And then we went to Ottawa, which.

[Sam Morril]

Is a great fucking comedy city.

[Mark Normand]

Great town.

[Sam Morril]

They fucking laugh.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

I had one of the best sets of my life in Ottawa.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

I was opening for Schumer back in the day in the arena there and I just fucking. It was like one of those where I was. I can't believe how hard they're laughing.

[Mark Normand]

It's great. You know, you're like, Ottawa, it's very unassuming. It's their. It's their capital.

[Sam Morril]

It's like their dc. So it's a lot of smart people.

[Mark Normand]

A lot of smart people. Beautiful buildings, big architect. The Parliament building and all that shit.

[Sam Morril]

Their hockey team's the Ottawa Senators. There you go, the Senators.

[Mark Normand]

We are not. Not a very scary team. Like, they're going to get rid of abortion. What is the Senator?

[Sam Morril]

That's The Abolitionists? Yeah, they're coming to town this week.

[Mark Normand]

My son is gay. I'm bad. Yeah. So Ottawa was unreal. We did some big room and we were late. I accidentally took us to the wrong theater with an Uber. And I was like, why would my agent put us in this hotel 20 minutes away from the theater? This fucking idiot. Da, da, da. And I get there, I'm like, hey, I'm here. To the tour manager, he's like, yeah, where are you? We're starting in, like, 10 minutes. I'm like, I'm outside. He's like, where? And I sent him a pin. And he's like, here's another pin. The theater was next to the hotel.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So we had to take an Uber all the way back, and DeVito had to just run on stage. And it was one of those. Where we got there, and he was like, holy shit, what is this room? And it was just the hot. It was the National Arts center in Ottawa, and, boy, was it a hot crowd.

[Sam Morril]

It's. It is. It is a fucking hot. It's a hot comedy city.

[Mark Normand]

It is. It is. And then we went to Absolute Comedy Club after.

[Sam Morril]

You're fucking savage.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Well, everybody. Sean Murphy's like, it's the best club in Canada. It's amazing.

[Sam Morril]

They used to say. They used to say, you go there to make a tape.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

That was. You go to Absolute or you tape or. What was the one in Boston. Laugh.

[Mark Normand]

Not Laugh.

[Sam Morril]

Comedy Studio.

[Mark Normand]

Comedy Studio.

[Sam Morril]

They were like, you go there. I got my first late nights at a comedy studio. Because you're like, go up there. Everything kills Cambridge. Just go clean.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Yes. That was a smart crowd.

[Sam Morril]

I think John did John Fish do an album.

[Mark Normand]

He did, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know, it's supposed to be a great club. I always wanted to work there back in the day.

[Mark Normand]

So did I. I heard all these rumors. Some people wouldn't take the tapes because they were so hot.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, we were literally. That's how old we are. We were sending, like, DVDs.

[Mark Normand]

DVDs? Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Remember that?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, of course.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

Put it in a little envelope.

[Sam Morril]

You young kids, you just copy and paste a link. You don't know how good you have it. We went to the post office.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. You had to drop it in a box. So, yeah, that was a whole thing. But, yeah, Killer club Did a set there, and everybody was very nice. And then we got drunk and went home.

[Sam Morril]

I love it. Do you drive back or fly?

[Mark Normand]

Fly. Yeah, you gotta fly, dude.

[Sam Morril]

I was out with Sandler all weekend doing, like, Arenas. It was fun as hell. It's like crazy. Yeah. Crazy, crazy tour to be a part of. I've been out with them a few times before. It's always like the most. It's what you expect. It's like a massive version of how I try to tour where it's like, there's bad. You play basketball during the day, but, you know, we're traveling and like, there's SUVs everywhere, private jets.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. It's like summer camp.

[Sam Morril]

Summer camp. But it's like, great crew. It's like, Kevin Nealon is out. Kevin James.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's fun as hell.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Fortune theme sure came on some of the dates.

[Mark Normand]

I saw that.

[Sam Morril]

She's awesome.

[Mark Normand]

She's the best.

[Sam Morril]

And dude, it was. It's like steakhouse every night.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Sam Morril]

Which is like, first couple nights, you're like, this is great. By night three, you're like, I'm going to get. Fuck. I'm going to feel, like, sick from all this.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Kind of a, you know, champagne problem here.

[Mark Normand]

Sure, sure. We get the meat sweats.

[Sam Morril]

I did. I made one faux pas.

[Mark Normand]

Uh oh.

[Sam Morril]

We're in the arena before the show and my green room's, like, really far away. So we're all just like, hanging out, watching sports, watching the Yankees game, and, you know, saying it was going on like 10, and I'm like, kind of have to take a shit.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, boy.

[Sam Morril]

Should I poop in his green room? Is that a bad move? Mine's really far away. And I was like, ah, it'll be a quick shit. I'll be in and out.

[Mark Normand]

This is bold.

[Sam Morril]

This is bold. I shouldn't have done it. I had a drink in me. I was like, what am I thinking?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Sam Morril]

I went in the green room bathroom. It was not a good shit. It was a red meat and whiskey shit. Oh. And it didn't. It came out not well. It's. I was like, it's bad when you're like, this smells bad when it's your poop and you're like, it's not good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And sounds like a country song. It's a red meat and whiskey. Oh, man.

[Sam Morril]

I go out and I was like, whatever. He's going on five. He's not gonna go in the bathroom. He walks into the bathroom. I was like, oh. And he came out and it's like in the Salem voice, like, who took a monster shit? And I'm like, oh, shit.

[Mark Normand]

Did he do it?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

The.

[Mark Normand]

Who took a poo?

[Sam Morril]

No, it was more like the angry water Voice where I was like, fuck. And I was like, I did it. And he was like, sammy.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

And Rob Schneider was there, and he goes, you can't give him ammo. He's going to use this against you forever. I was like, fuck.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. Yeah. I was like, fuck, that was a faux pas. I was like, I'm sorry. I should have done that. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like hooking up with his daughter.

[Sam Morril]

No, no, no. I think that's worse.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

I think she's underage.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I think that's That.

[Sam Morril]

I think that's a double bad. But no, dude, that's. Yeah, that was my fuck up.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

But we were like, it's crazy. We end up we're in Baltimore, and he's like, we're going to Under Armour today to play basketball. And I was like, we're going to, like, their facility. He's like, yeah, it's in Baltimore.

[Mark Normand]

Holy.

[Sam Morril]

We show up. It's like, dude, they have a football field.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Sam Morril]

In Under Armour, they have a football field. They have, like, all these basketball courts, indoor and outdoor. They have a store. They're like, steph Curry might come by. And I'm like, fucking like, look.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Sam Morril]

I don't get stars. He's their guy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So I'm like, I don't get starstruck a lot, but it's fucking Steph Curry. And, like, he's probably going to come to the show tonight. And then, like, last minute, they're like, he has to change his flight, so he's coming tomorrow morning. I was like, oh, man. But brutal. But we play hoops there. And the CEO is there. He's a cool dude. He's like, they're like, here's our info. Like, take whatever you want from the store. I'm like, I'm not going to be addicted. Like, you got to take the new Curry sneakers. And he's like, they're not even out yet. Take them. Like, all right, I'll take a pair of the Curry sneakers. Then they're like, you got to get some underwear. And I'm like, I'll take some underwear. You know, I'm a sheath man, as we all know, but I'll take some underwear. Try it out. You know? They're like, get. Get this shirt. I'm like, this is a good hat. I'm like, how? I'm like, I'll give him my dad. Then there's like a Steph Curry shirt. My buddy Dory loves the word. I'll give it to him. So they're like, handing me shit. I look over Joe Vessi, who's one of Sandler's guys on the road. He's like, four bags full of shit.

[Mark Normand]

You can't do that.

[Sam Morril]

And he was like, oh, what? I have a problem? But I was cracking up. He left with, like, four pairs of sneakers. Fucking. I got a couple things. But, dude, under armor makes great shit.

[Mark Normand]

Great.

[Sam Morril]

I was like, this is like. It's. You know what's cool is when the clothes are like. There's like, a technology to it.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Well, you're. Where.

[Sam Morril]

You're like, oh, my God. There's like, you know, the hat fibers or whatever. Do they have these hats that you can, like, smush up and they don't wrinkle?

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

I love shit like that. So it's, like, for travel.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly. My good smushed in my bag, dude.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it was. It was sick.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. And the story of Under Armour is pretty crazy. I have a big fascination with, like, entrepreneur people who start shit. And it's just a guy who started it. Nobody believed in him. And then athletes started wearing it, like, kind of just. They thought it was the best. Like, LeBron loved it. And then it just blew up.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And Curry went with it for. I mean, they got Curry.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's right. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And they got the Aaron Fox. They got some guys. Yeah, it was.

[Mark Normand]

He was a coach. He was like a coach. He's like, this. This material isn't good enough. And he made his own. And then it. It worked.

[Sam Morril]

He left for a while and came back. Yeah, we were hanging with Kevin. He was cool as hell, man. Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That was fun.

[Mark Normand]

Give me the whole rundown. Like, do you fly out? Are you on a jet?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, we fly. Yeah. We flew private every day. It's crazy. I mean, it's very different from the way we travel. When you', like, a guy like Sandler, you're like, this guy is. You know, he's so famous, too, that you just have to, like. You have to move.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know, like, he's very cool. Take pictures with people. But, like, you literally land at some, you know, private airport, and there's 40 people, like, sign my thing.

[Mark Normand]

Of course.

[Sam Morril]

They're so fucking rude, some of these people. They have, like, the eBay FedEx box ready to go if you're going to bother this guy for an autograph. Like, I feel like, like, maybe five people out of 100, it's for them.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

It's like, a business. People do it, so.

[Mark Normand]

But so much work. A regular job would Be easy.

[Sam Morril]

Much work that point. Yeah, it's like, a lot. So then. Yeah, dude, Privates also, like, we're so used to doing an hour on stage that, like, it takes me back to be doing, like, I'm doing, like, eight to ten minutes.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. So animal.

[Sam Morril]

So you feel like you're like, this is my work day. I'm doing eight minutes.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

You just start drinking in the green room. Like, I'll just fucking get Fortune's like, let's fucking. Let's drink some Manhattans. I'm like, let's get drunk. So we're getting sauced.

[Mark Normand]

Hell, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

We're just watching a show. It's fun. It's also so fun to watch because it's a lot of music and stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So we're just bombed. We're just kind of walking side stage. We're taking a jet back to New York after Baltimore. And the lady on the jet. This is a weird one, too. I go, how you doing? And she goes, medium. Oh, it's just weird to be that honest, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

People just say, I'm good. And on a jet, you just say, a medium.

[Mark Normand]

Medium.

[Sam Morril]

Medium is weird. Yeah. So one there. And I'm like, is there booze on here? And she goes, of course. So I was like, I'll take a. I'll take a whiskey. And she goes, all right. And then Kevin James across the go, he goes, I want a whiskey, too. And then Sandler goes, let's get all whiskeys.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Whoa. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That's incredible.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Drinking whiskey on a jet with sailor.

[Sam Morril]

It was fucking cool.

[Mark Normand]

Kevin James.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And then I went to the private bathroom on the jet and took a big shit. No. I learned my lesson.

[Mark Normand]

We need to make it an emerging landing.

[Sam Morril]

Adam, we have to sleep in Newark tonight because Sam took another shit.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, wow.

[Mark Normand]

I think that actually did happen once. A guy shit so bad in a plane, they had to like.

[Sam Morril]

I'm sure it's happened in history. Can we look that in history? Someone must have taken a shit so.

[Mark Normand]

Bad, I think, like, two months ago, literally.

[Sam Morril]

Imagine that's the reason a plane crashes. The pilot's like, fuck.

[Mark Normand]

Is that an act of terrorism? Really, when you think about it?

[Sam Morril]

Because it's an. It's an act of inconvenience.

[Mark Normand]

There you go.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, a terrorist blows it up. I mean, technically, you did blow it up. I guess maybe it was an act of terror.

[Mark Normand]

It's a bio. Biohazard, too. It's like. It's poisonous.

[Sam Morril]

And how about when they. When they break down and like, the smell just travels. That's a bad one. Oh, yeah, that's because they all know who did it. They're all looking at the guy who was in there too long. It's not a hard case to solve.

[Mark Normand]

Look at that. August 2025. There we go.

[Sam Morril]

Wow, that's a bad shit.

[Mark Normand]

Now, does it shoot out of the plane or is that a myth?

[Sam Morril]

You know, I've had this talk with people because I did. I remember I did Chelsea Handler's podcast and she was like, mocking me for. No, it was Trevor. Noah's mocking me.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

He was mocking me because he was like, you think it goes into the sky? And I was like, I don't know. I just figured. And he's like, of course it doesn't.

[Mark Normand]

It go over the ocean.

[Sam Morril]

I thought that was our revenge on the birds. We pooped back on them.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. Okay. It's a vacuum system.

[Sam Morril]

It's a vacuum. Yeah. No, I. I didn't even know.

[Mark Normand]

I didn't know either. I always heard it just shot out into the world and it dissipated. So nobody got hurt.

[Sam Morril]

Chat GPT is going to make kids either way smarter or way dumber. I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

I think dumber. They'll have the information, but they won't be able to think. Retain. That's the word.

[Sam Morril]

Retain. That's big.

[Mark Normand]

My aunt. My fat aunt would always say, I retain water, which I always thought was hilarious as a kid.

[Sam Morril]

Like, that just means you have bad hips.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. You're eating cupcakes as we speak. You're like, water. It's all water.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, Water. Drink water. See how you feel great when you drink a lot of water.

[Mark Normand]

Of course you're hydrated.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, you just. You ever just like. Like wait like a few hours when you. And you don't eat breakfast immediately and you just pound water.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, it's great. You can feel it like flow through you.

[Sam Morril]

I do it like once a year, but it's good feeling.

[Mark Normand]

Jeff Foxworth had a great line. His. His ex wife or somebody be like, I'm not fat. I retain water. He goes, so does a Hoover Dam. Oh, that's his big joke.

[Sam Morril]

That's a good one.

[Mark Normand]

He had a couple bangers.

[Sam Morril]

Here we go.

[Mark Normand]

But yeah, was that. How'd the weekend end up? Great.

[Sam Morril]

And you end up getting home. It's great to get home. Night of.

[Mark Normand]

That's.

[Sam Morril]

That's a beautiful thing. Sit right here.

[Mark Normand]

Weekend.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, we did some. Some dates on the. And it's. So I was ready. I Thought they were going to spend the night in Baltimore. So I was like, I'll just, like, try to get a late train or bus, you know, or car back. But then they were like, no, we're flying to New York. And I was like, fucking beautiful.

[Mark Normand]

Nothing better.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, the quick flip. You get there, do the show, be right back in your bed the same day.

[Sam Morril]

Quick flip. I'm. I'm using that.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I didn't even. I didn't even know the concept of private jets and comedy because it was such an athletic thing to me. These are athletes. And then I opened for Ron White one time and made an ass of myself. You ever, like, open for a big wig? Like when you.

[Sam Morril]

I literally made an ass out of.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Myself and you try to, like, chum it up with them like they're just a fucking regular road guy. I open for Ryan White and strike one. I come up to him in the green room. I go, hey, man, let me know if you need a ride to the airport in the morning.

[Mark Normand]

That's not so bad. That's kind of.

[Sam Morril]

That's just polite.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Then. Then I go. He goes, I'm leaving tonight, Roy. And it's Huntsville. I'm like, fucking Alabama, bitch. There's no flight at 10:30. I go, who you flying, Roy? I have a plane. And I just tiptoed up the fucking green room.

[Sam Morril]

How the fuck should we know this stuff?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You don't know not. That's rarefied air Year three. I just. The idea of the Kings of Comedy tour on a jet. But I didn't. I didn't know that.

[Sam Morril]

It's also very new for comedy, I feel like.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, yeah, that's how Ron got. You'd have to have him on the podcast. It's his story to tell. But that when he got arrested for weed or something, he had a mix up with some weed and like a pilot, like, he landed and there was weed on the plane and he says that like somebody on his team. I'm not sure if it was the pilot for sure, but he says somebody basically tipped the feds off. That the feds? Yeah, well, it's federal. You're crossing state, whatever the fuck.

[Sam Morril]

That's fucking drugs. But that's crazy.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's back when weed was still the devil.

[Mark Normand]

The devil's grass.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. Yeah. He did good for himself. I respect Ron Weiss so much, bro.

[Sam Morril]

He's a classic.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He still grinds in like, shit rooms. Like, he'll just go up in random spots. In la. I saw him do mo Better Mondays.

[Sam Morril]

What?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

In la, which is like, the blackest. He did mo better Mondays. It was either the same week or the week after DJ Drama got arrested for, like, all of the mixtape, whatever.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And so the room was just extra black, if that makes sense.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Crushed.

[Mark Normand]

We did mo better Mondays.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And Ruby Tuesdays. We did every black show. Ruby Tuesday.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. Ruby Tuesday. We did every Black Tuesday. We did Chocolate Sundays.

[Sam Morril]

We did every night of the week. We did sad Thursdays. We bombed every show, Mark.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it was bad.

[Sam Morril]

They don't. They don't want to hear Heroes run. We were running roast jokes, and they didn't want to hear that.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, black people don't roast like that. Like, the. The joke structure is not. It's just got to be this right here versus. Yeah, he went over here. In fact, he went over there. Nah, you can't do that.

[Mark Normand]

Well, you've seen the Doug Williams.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. That was classic. Yeah. The Jamie Fox.

[Mark Normand]

That is my biggest nightmare, is that.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

We did a talk with the Hollywood Reporter, these standups, and Jamie Foxx was on the round table. And I asked him about it. They edited. They took it out. And I wish the Hollywood Reporter had left it in, because I was like, he never talks on the record about what happened that night. But Jamie says that Doug was real braggadocious backstage. So it's like they make him look like this. And Doug was a very established standard. He was hosting a show on the network. That's why he was there in the first. But apparently Doug had been talking a lot of shit backstage. So then when it came time to actually go out there and roast and the jokes weren't working, Jamie's shit was low key. A clap back to some stuff that happened off camera. And they kind of play like, oh, man, Doug wasn't funny. And then Jamie just went for the juggler. Cause Jamie's a killer. But I really feel like Jamie was just like, nah, I'm gonna get my lick back.

[Sam Morril]

Well, for those of you who don't know what we're talking about, Doug Williams is doing a roast, and Jamie Foxx, he takes the mic.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

No, he's. His mic is still.

[Sam Morril]

Who's. Mike's still live, rather, while Doug is.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

My point is.

[Sam Morril]

Takes over. He starts talking. He starts talking through his set, which I was like, I always thought was kind of a. I understand the clap act, but, like, I think you gotta let the roaster have the floor.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Even if they're bombing.

[Sam Morril]

I don't. I think that's for the bomber to get out of, though, I think, because We've seen people bomb and then kind of get out of it. I think it's kind of a. But I respect Jamie Foxx. I think he's insanely talented. I just thought it was kind of like a. And I don't know the history, but it's kind of a. It's kind of a dirty move a little bit. It was. It was.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And it was peak Jamie, too. So he was very. He had an arrogance about him. But I just. I say that to say what Jamie did to Doug, that was not unprovoked, that makes Justified. I would hope it was not unprovoked. And I say that with respect to Doug. Doug is one of my Alabama comedy OGs. He's from Montgomery.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But it was one of those things where it's like, ah, I get why. Even if that wasn't what you should have done, but it was a roast to Emmett Smith. Doug goes up, Some of the jokes aren't hidden, and Jamie just starts pretending to be his conscience, which is what every comedian has. When you're bombing, you're thinking to yourself the whole time.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I just did another joke that didn't work. Maybe I should wrap it up. Like, it was. It was pretty bad.

[Mark Normand]

But to the blind eye, we just thought he was being a dick. Cause it was the big star versus the.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's kind of how I read it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But nah, nah. They said, okay. And this is just. This is Jamie Foxx's where Doug was backstage talking cash and was like, yeah, I'm gonna get out there, and I'm gonna kill everybody. It's gonna be. Which is what you're supposed to say at a roast.

[Sam Morril]

That's not what I say.

[Mark Normand]

Gregory's there.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That's gotta hurt.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't. I just don't know if, like, black roast could be done the same as, like, they do, like, the mainstream.

[Sam Morril]

What do you mean?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Netflix and all of that.

[Mark Normand]

I would love to see that.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I.

[Sam Morril]

Why do you think there's a difference? Because I have noticed that black audiences don't respond the same way to, like.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

What we do is the black audience. But I don't know if you could organize a situation for any black celebrity to just sit there while other black celebrities just belittle him. And the idea of get him back. And I roast out of love. It would have to legitimately be people out of love like you. Boards are closer to this.

[Sam Morril]

Flavor Flav took it well.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, but Flav knows he's a caricature.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He plays it he had his fucking horns on his head while holding a piece of chicken. Like he doesn't care.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I thought that was just his lunch. I didn't know.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Tell me if this is true. But I heard that part of the whole. Someone who isn't necessarily a friend of the roastee being acceptable to roast that person started because none of Chevy Chase's friends would come do the Chevy Chase roast, which was either the first or one of the first Comedy Central roasts, apparently heavily edited.

[Sam Morril]

Because I remember seeing that on tv and I was like, well, I mean, Marc Maron killed, but he only did two minutes. You see Todd Berry, he killed two minutes, right? Craig Giraldo killed 130. Like, it was the weirdest thing to be like, wow, they really cut this down.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But.

[Mark Normand]

And they used a lot of comics that he didn't know, man.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Correct, but because supposedly. Because they had no choice, but it still got ratings. So then Comedy Central was like, well, fuck it. If.

[Sam Morril]

But it was. It felt.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Doesn't care.

[Sam Morril]

It felt. You're right, though. It didn't feel like a Dean Martin roast. It felt kind of vicious because they weren't friends.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

They were like, you don't know the pre existing. Like. Like if you did a roast of Ice Cube and you got everyone from the Ice Cube universe of entertainment and you got old rappers, old co stars.

[Sam Morril]

Get his Jewish manager to come out, be like, sorry, sorry about that. I fucked up.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Dig up Jerry Heller from NWA to.

[Sam Morril]

Get Paul Giamatti to just come out and reprise his character from Straight Outta Compton.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Like, if you saw Mike Epps roasting Ice Cube, then it's like, okay, I know the backstory and the love and all of that. I just don't know if you could just. If any black entertainer would just allow just a random. Even if you're socially accepted, Ice Cube's not gonna let Drew ski roast him.

[Sam Morril]

It's gotta be someone with a great.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

They have no history.

[Sam Morril]

Well, it's gotta be like someone who's got an established sense of humor, like a Shaquille o' Neal or someone like, it's gotta be someone who's like, okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So someone whose star is as equal to yours and I can kind of fuck with you. But no, you're right, I don't. I just don't see a lot of black roast. Not like that roast of Emmett Smith that they did. Athletes are the hardest. Because athletes are like so arrogant and believe they're above jokes. You ever watch? It's on YouTube somewhere. But there's Steve Harvey Hosting the NFL honors, which I would argue is the most difficult of all of the hosting gigs.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, harder than the ESPYs.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Harder than the correspondence dinner. Harder than the. In my opinion, I think ESPYs is tough, but because you have all of the different sports in there, you can hop scotch around and be more general. But Steve Harvey has done. He did NFL honors for a couple of years, and he would have a killer joke and they would cut to the crowd and it would just be a 22 year old millionaire just staring at him. And Steve doesn't give a fuck. He's already got the money yet.

[Mark Normand]

But he's.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He has enough cachet that he's never bombing.

[Sam Morril]

But, dude, you know, I saw. I saw a headline. Cooper flag number one overall pick for the Mavs. It was like a big deal. Like, his mom wants him to be, you know, financially responsible, so she's limiting his first car purchase to 180 grand. And I was like, wow, just 180k for a car. It's like, yeah, you should do that on a rookie contract. I don't care how rich you are, you're a child. You don't need a $500,000 whip. You know, it's like, come on.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

At what point, though?

[Mark Normand]

Look how well lit, that crowded. My God.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, yeah. They want the reaction.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's brutal.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's just all just like smirks.

[Sam Morril]

Paul Rudd will bail you out of a bomb.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Is it?

[Mark Normand]

Where is it? Miles? This is a tough gig.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, bro. I would. I would put the NFL honors gig ahead of any other award show gig.

[Sam Morril]

Just because football players have the worst sense of humor, you say, of all sport.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

In my opinion, they're just the toughest of crap because they're the most warrior driven. They're the most me strong. Me. No show. Laughing somehow is a weakness or showing. Yeah. That you're vulnerable.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Well, did you see Jeff Ross? I gotta say, he did a pretty good shack roast. He had a great. He tried to peel the microphone. He said, you're not.

[Sam Morril]

No, that was the Emmett Smith roast.

[Mark Normand]

I was at the Emmett Smith.

[Sam Morril]

Shaq was there.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Fuck.

[Sam Morril]

He did some. Yeah, I mean, those are. Jo would not fly today.

[Mark Normand]

Pull that up if you can. Just the reaction of, they're all dying. Shaq is loving it.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Well, that's because Jeff Ross will come in and just be edgy. And it's a damn that white boy crazy.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, exactly.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Every joke is just, damn that white boy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Even that white boy said that right there.

[Mark Normand]

Right? Oh, wow. This roast was action Packed, bro.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You got Dick Gregory, Jeff Ross, Shaq. Shaq loves stand up man.

[Mark Normand]

Monique.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He used to have a stand up show, didn't he?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, he had no audio.

[Mark Normand]

There's such a good line that Fox did the triple H. Just want a priest collar.

[Sam Morril]

He wouldn't have these problems today. A little pedo joke. All right.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. The white guy slot on the black show is money. It is basically two reasons. First reason is I'm a big, big.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Fan of you years.

[Mark Normand]

Second reason is Shaq sent me a.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Beautiful letter saying he wanted me to.

[Mark Normand]

Come and it was for charity.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And I knew it was really from.

[Mark Normand]

Shaq because it was signed S H A C K.

[Sam Morril]

Shack is a national treasure.

[Mark Normand]

Shaq, man, you look good.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You look good.

[Mark Normand]

Congratulations. You're. You're. Your knuckles look scraped. Did you walk here?

[Sam Morril]

Jesus Christ.

[Mark Normand]

He doesn't even flinch. There's no anger.

[Sam Morril]

That is, that is a joke. That's a joke you can't do today.

[Mark Normand]

I don't think. I don't think so.

[Sam Morril]

At a roast, you think, Roy, At.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

A black roast, black people just take a little different.

[Mark Normand]

And also the Atlantic would write a piece about it, but the black crowd.

[Sam Morril]

Would like, Right, right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

The Guardian would try to ruin your life.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, the Guardian.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's what the black people would be like. No, it's fine. Hey. Yeah, he came in. You got me?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

All right, let's keep.

[Sam Morril]

Shaq is such a good fucking sport, dude.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, I mean, who's funnier, Shaq or Barkley?

[Sam Morril]

Barkley.

[Mark Normand]

Barkley's funny.

[Sam Morril]

Shaq's funny, but Shaq is more like goofy funny. And Barkley's fucking.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Barkley is funny in that granddad that doesn't want to be bothered.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But you keep fucking with him. And so then he finally just says some slick shit. I tell you what, them big girls down in San Antonio, they eat ribs anyway, and he'll just keep it moving. I think it's. Barkley's funny comes in the forum in which he chooses to say the things.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. And then he'll get. She'll get pushback and flack for saying everything, and he's like, what? They are fat. That's like his rebuttal.

[Sam Morril]

I love him.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But no, I, I, I don't know, man. Like, roasting, that's just such a specific skill set. That was just never my thing. Like, I, like back in my Daily show heydays, they would always ask me to come do the roast. I'm like, really?

[Sam Morril]

You turned down Comedy Central?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Because you just. I'm gonna sit there.

[Sam Morril]

Which one do you turn down?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Was it. It was David Spade, and there was. Which one Was one before Bruce Willis? There was a. There was a David Spade. It might have been Charlie Sheen.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that was a big one.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Anything. I was Daily show. Let's just say 2015 to 2022. So, like. Like, anything from 2015 to, like, 2018.

[Sam Morril]

Let's see what we got.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Probably asked me to do, man.

[Sam Morril]

Talking about.

[Mark Normand]

I watched the whole thing.

[Sam Morril]

I gotta.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, I gotta watch Interview. Is that the doc?

[Mark Normand]

Doc.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Docs come out too fast now. Well, I know it used to be.

[Sam Morril]

But at least that's a life worth a doc.

[Mark Normand]

There's a lot going on.

[Sam Morril]

That guy's. That guy has lived through some shit, dude. God bless.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Do they. Do they make it.

[Sam Morril]

His father's like, a saint, dude.

[Mark Normand]

He is.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Do they make him sympathetic? They make. Does it make you feel bad for Charlie Sheen, or is it just him, like, having accountability? Because some docs are just a subliminal apology.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, there's a little of that. But it's mostly like, holy shit, what a ride. And he's so likable and charming that you're all. You're all in.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It seems like his ex wives don't even hate him.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

For a guy who lives that hard was smoking crack and fucking around. And for all his ex wives to be like, yeah, he's a good guy.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I know. I saw the one clip online where they said, yeah, there it is. Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe.

[Mark Normand]

Rob Lowe.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Rob Lowe was the one. Cause that was 2016. I was at Daily show, and then the Bruce Willis one. I don't know. I just felt like I would just sit there.

[Sam Morril]

Bruce doesn't remember any of the jokes.

[Mark Normand]

At least he would just sit there.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Also, like, this is after Patrisse died, so I know y' all needed a new fat guy to throw diabetes jokes at. I'm not gonna fuck it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, no, that's.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, look at that. L' Rail was the only black person. I was like, nah, you're not gonna sit me here.

[Sam Morril]

I don't even remember rel on it.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Hit me with all it. Like, no. And, like, the crop. Like, that's just such a random cast of people. All respectful, all respected resumes. But I just don't know if you could set up a lineup that random for somebody black in esteem. You're not gonna roast Bruce Willis. Who's a black action. The Wesley Snipes. Mm. Who you gonna. But. Okay. But what? 10 black people that he won't get up and punch in the fucking face. Cause you don't know me enough to make that joke.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And the people who know him.

[Sam Morril]

But you signed up for a roast. You kinda got it if you sign up. Cause I heard Netflix is like, trying to put together another roast. And one of the people they really wanted was Will Smith. And I'm like, he's not really famous for taking jokes. Well, I don't know if you're aware.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good point.

[Sam Morril]

He's not the best.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He seems like the type that would, you know, that would be smart for Will Smith to do, though.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. Show. He can take it now.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, but, you know, but you're going.

[Sam Morril]

To be looking over the whole. After every joke, you'd be like, looking over.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, like, is he pissed if Jada's there, that would change everything.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. They would go, well, you think she.

[Sam Morril]

Would allow that shit? Literally every joke would be about how she's a whore and he's gay. That's every joke.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. And your kids are weird. Like, they'll. They'll find every nerve to hit him with. But if he sat there and took that shit, it would be like, takes.

[Sam Morril]

A bunch of Valium right before. Just make them comatose.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Ayahuasca out. This isn't the right comparison, but if Will Smith did a Netflix roast in the spirit of, hey, come get tarred and feathered and come on back into the fold of society, it would be similar to when Steve Rannazzesi did Roast Battle. In the sense of. Granted, Rannazzisi was not in the sense.

[Sam Morril]

That it won't really work.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You don't think it worked A little bit.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Well, with the comedy community or with the public at all, I think the.

[Sam Morril]

Comics are fine with it. I think. I think it was, but I think it's more like the. I think in the grand scheme of things. No, I don't think it. He was bigger before. I think it. No, I think that was.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So it's kind of like a d' Aalia thing, where you were bigger before the thing happens. And then whatever happens, Chris is.

[Sam Morril]

Still sells a lot of tickets in the road, doesn't he?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, he still sells, but I mean, in terms of the zeitgeisty part, he's built his audience, so, I mean, he's got that. But I wonder, though, like, with Rannazizi at that time, I mean, since you were there, I always felt like in the comedy community, I saw it as okay, well, he owned it, so whatever. Finger wag. I mean, granted, considering you think about what a scandal is now, if the rann is easy shit happened today, it wouldn't even be a fucking thing. In fact, you could lean into that shit and sell more tickets.

[Sam Morril]

That was. There was something weird about that too. Is like the way you plan those pieces, those hit pieces, like the new, like, we'll have it come out the day of his special.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know what I mean? They're like, you got to pull the special now.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's kind of like the Hasan Minhaj Daily show, which was the week before the writer strike ended and they were gonna announce him as host or whatever.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, wow. So like it's big game hunting. We can get him. We'll get him.

[Sam Morril]

Well, it's literally the last thing the journalists have now. That's all they. I mean, that's like. Like, you know, the days of Edward R. Murrow are gone. So they're like, what do we have? We could. We could take this dude down, right?

[Mark Normand]

We got bar.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. Pablo Torres. Seems like Pablo Torres on the street.

[Sam Morril]

If he fucking goes after Brunson, dude, don't help me God. Pablo. You fucking step back.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Everybody likes Pablo till he goes after their team.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I remember this is a random name drop, but I'm friends with Ruben Studdard.

[Mark Normand]

One of the old school American Idol.

[Sam Morril]

How's he doing?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He's from Birmingham. He's straight. He tours and like he makes a fuck ton of money overseas.

[Sam Morril]

It looks good.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. Yeah. Ruben, he was the first Rube got a wife, she cooked good for him. He got a child to live for. His life is good, man.

[Sam Morril]

Good dude.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, great dude.

[Mark Normand]

Great voice.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And so he was touring with Clay Aiken for a minute. They were doing like a two man thing for a while a couple years ago, but now he's just touring solo. But Rube and I got to talking about that first season of American Idol. Do you remember this girl named Frenchie?

[Sam Morril]

No.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

There was a contestant named Frenchie in season one, and they kicked her off the show. Cause somebody found a nude picture of her, it'd be the equivalent. And it's like. And it was a huge scandal. Like 02, bitch. They was like, oh, no. Can you believe? Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Topless.

[Sam Morril]

And later that year on the Super Bowl, Janet Jackson whipped out her tit.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. Disqualified early in the season due to topless photos found earlier in her career.

[Mark Normand]

Career, that is Catch Me Outside, Girls. The number one only fan hawk tours.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And all of that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right. Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I Suck dick, download my podcast.

[Sam Morril]

Like, but what happened to her, though?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's wild because it'll work for a minute.

[Sam Morril]

But is there staying power in. In that?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But you're talking about staying power. Most people trying to hit a lick. Like the average American only makes 3 million before they die.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I just think if you want to get cute for inflation.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So if you can hit any.

[Sam Morril]

But that's a lot of ticket. That works for one. There's a lot of people that get stopped and say gnarly shit into a. Into a mic, you know, like you. She won a lotto ticket with that.

[Mark Normand]

But I think he. The. The nudity would not get you. That would help your career now.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Correct.

[Sam Morril]

I totally get the point you're making. I'm saying even in. In now, you know, it works for a minute, but it's. And it's very rare that it works.

[Mark Normand]

It's short money.

[Sam Morril]

It's short money.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at Monica Lewinsky. Her whole fucking character assassination tarnished.

[Sam Morril]

She'd be a victim now.

[Mark Normand]

She was a victim now.

[Sam Morril]

She was really mocked. She was young as fuck. She was kind of treated like the homewrecker and the piece of shit.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You want to talk about some jokes, you go back and go, Leno monologue.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Leno was on her neck.

[Sam Morril]

Remember Rock's bit, though, when he goes, this whole thing is Hillary's fault.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know what type of man you have. She put the whole country in danger. You're the first lady. You got to be the first one who needs to suck his dick.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

APPLAUSE AND ROAR that was a great bit.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that one holds up.

[Mark Normand]

That's Chappelle had a chunk on Monica. Oh, right. We'll be right back to suck that dick or whatever it was, man.

[Sam Morril]

Monica Lewinsky, man, that was.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, she could have sucked us anywhere. Utopia. That was it.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. I just think it's. It's interesting in how we retroactively try to cancel people for stuff we found, but we never try to, like, retroactively. I don't. Forgive is the word. But, hey, that's a.

[Sam Morril]

That's a great.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Sorry about that. We shunned you. You showed your titties. Sorry about that. Come on back for season 30 of American Idol. Frenchie.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Well, it's hard to remove a Scarlet Letter, you know.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, once it's on there, it's kind of like, you know, it's like having a DUI charge and, you know, it's still going to be on that Google top 10.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, I know, every time I go to Canada, they bring up the credit card from 98 that I stole. Damn. And it got worse last, like, after the last election. Like, do y' all say the word Trump? Am I allowed to say the word Trump or whatever?

[Mark Normand]

Help the outlet.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Trump started the transcription when Trump started fucking with them tariffs and all that immigration shit. Like, Canadian customs. Like, I've never been grilled the way I've been grilled in the last, like, year. Just trying to get into that country.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Over a credit card.

[Sam Morril]

How about getting back in? Is it easy to get back in there?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's a piece of cake.

[Sam Morril]

Getting back in. I was. I made jokes. My tour manager was furious at me. We're going through security. And he goes, the guy recognized me. Goes, sam, how was Canada? And I go, I know, Just some human trafficking. And my tour manager's like, what the fuck are you doing? It's still customs, you idiot. But they all laughed. I was like, all right, we're good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. They don't care. On the way back.

[Sam Morril]

On the way back, you're good. The way in, you got to be a little bit like, we'll be on our best trip.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I think also with Canada, though, it also matters what city you fly into.

[Sam Morril]

Well, which are the bad ones, you think?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I think Toronto and Montreal are super strict.

[Mark Normand]

Why is that?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know. I feel like just more Americans probably come there to party and goof off and do other shit.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

Those are two pretty damn good cities.

[Mark Normand]

Great towns.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Vancouver, I found to be very laid back and, like, not tripping in the least. Like, you have to get, like, to get, like, if you've been convicted of a felony in America, that would get you more than 10 years in prison in Canada, you have to get paperwork to prove that you are no longer wanted for any crimes in America. But you have to get that paperwork from every state in which you've ever resided.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

To get that paperwork, you have to physically go to that state to request that paperwork. And then once you have all of that paperwork, you send it to Canadian customs, and then they review your application and decide whether or not you can come in to tell the jokes at Montreal.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And so I kept coming back into Canada at different mile markers in that process, but I hadn't fully yet done all of the forgiveness paperwork yet. And, like, it is a fucking pain. Like, Europe don't give a fuck. Like, UK was cool, but although flying.

[Sam Morril]

Into London is a bitch now, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Is it?

[Sam Morril]

They made it harder, for sure. Yeah. There's this weird process. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You need a UK permit thing. Like, you have to go online, and.

[Sam Morril]

If you get into the wrong line, there's people, you just get like. They're like, if you get into that line, they just throw you out of the country. And you're like, but I'm here. What the. But my agent just logged in. Just like, do not get in that line. I was like, all right.

[Mark Normand]

Did you go yet?

[Sam Morril]

No, this was last year.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay. Wow. Weird. I didn't, I didn't find it that weird.

[Sam Morril]

They were, they were pretty intense when I was there, but maybe they dialed it back a little.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know. But is it more. Because you were there for business and they're like, well, you were there for business.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. The most I got was audiences like, what's up with your boy Trump? And I'm like, like, let me text him. I don't know. What do you want me to do?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, but y' all are, like, touring on, like, I show up for, like, I'm just now doing my first solo shows in London in December. I normally show up as part. I always show up as part of a festival or I'm hired for BBC. And so I just have a sheet of paper from the BBC, goes, mommy, Mommy said I could come read that so I don't get finger fucked the way you guys do.

[Mark Normand]

Like, I, I, well, that BBC, who knows?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[Sam Morril]

What, What. How is this CNN show going for you?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's good, man.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Season two, right?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Three. Well, we're going into episode 30 by the end of this year, by the end of this run, you know, it's a remake of the British show, and that's what I. It's the, The British version's been running for 30 years.

[Mark Normand]

They love a panel show in England.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. That's why we were nervous about this shit even working. But I'd already quit Daily Shows. I'm like, shit, may as well try it.

[Sam Morril]

Was there any fear leaving the Daily show? Or you kind of like, I've done my time there.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I'm good. There was no fear.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's a comic. You know, like every seven, eight years, you have to evolve or change or whatever. I mean, to me, the fear is part of what's happening now with Colbert. Right. Where all the shit that's happening now I thought was going to happen three years ago. Like the Viacom Paramount merger. Merger that's been in motion for years.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So when I decided to quit, I was like, oh, the merge is gonna happen, and then they're gonna cut costs. And when you cut costs, you cut staff. And the first staff you cut is the most senior staff. They're gonna fire me. And if they get a new host, what if the new host doesn't, like, fuck it, I'm leaving now. But I'll find something else now. Because it's an election year. Cause if they're gonna do a new shop, you do it during an election year. And there's only been two new political satire shows. It Was Us and After Midnight. That's the only thing that's been. That's. And they're gone.

[Mark Normand]

So that's political.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Well, it's late night, non scripted panel, whatever. So the idea of, if I'm gonna find something after Daily show, let me just find it now. But CNN's happy ratings are solid. It's a Saturday night show, so the bar is low in terms of what we need to do.

[Sam Morril]

Did you audition for it or were you just kind of picked for it?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I met with the producers. I'm sure they met with some other folks. And then we just discussed the concept, and then they made me an offer, but there was no, like, audition, screen test or.

[Sam Morril]

That's amazing.

[Mark Normand]

So sick of those.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Any of that other shit.

[Mark Normand]

And you probably get some sweet suits. Look at you.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know, man. They be stingy with them. Oh, damn.

[Sam Morril]

Wait, what do you mean?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You know, you get fitted for really nice suits to wear on the show, but they all still stay in, like, a wardrobe closet at cnn, so I don't really get them. But damn, I stole all my Daily show suits.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Good for you.

[Sam Morril]

So you get, when you're on the shows, they just give you suits?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Well, not cnn, because at least not yet. Maybe season four, I'll get to keep the suits. But right now, the wardrobe lady has the keys to that. Like, if I called her right now, hey, let me get the green suit from episode 21. I'm gonna wear it on Sherri Shepherd. Well, I'm. Well, I don't know if we can. Let me see if I can get that cleared. So it's a lot of that shit.

[Mark Normand]

Right? Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Because if I fuck up this. I don't know. I don't know what they do with the suits. I get them custom there. Like, they're cut for me. It's not. Like, unless you fucking replace me with Kenan Thompson, who's it gonna fit?

[Mark Normand]

You're not that big. But Can I ask a weird cultural question?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

All Right. So I've noticed that my black brethren sticks with tv. They like the industry, and the honkies have gone more Internet. I see like. Like, Jordan Fisher. He's a friend of mine. He used to open for me, and he's doing a YouTube special. And I was like, it's about fucking time. He's like, well, nobody would buy my special. And I'm like, welcome to our world. Like, we wouldn't.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

We.

[Mark Normand]

We shot a YouTube special five years ago. Yeah, I feel like less Black guys shoot YouTube and they want to wait for that industry nod.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I think there's still perceived value in industry acceptance by some black comics. That's part of it. The other half is lack of knowledge or recon or sharing of resources amongst black comics as well.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So the idea of shoot a YouTube special. Okay, well, how and what are you doing?

[Mark Normand]

We'll tell. We'll tell it anyway.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Cause if everybody acts like it, just. Man, I shot it and uploaded. No, you didn't. You set. You worked it with clips, and then you chop that 60 down into 90 seconds, and then you put those up at certain times, and then you tag. You sponsored a couple of posts. Like there was a full digital strategy. And YouTube is nothing like Facebook or Instagram, where black people thrive, where a lot of black individuals, especially young ones, thrive. Like, I would say somebody like, say, Country Wayne would be a good, good example to back up what you're talking about. Yeah, Country Wayne's huge. And then Netflix came knocking, and he's like, I'll take that.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I'll take that little bit of money.

[Mark Normand]

We do the same thing.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Because there's still some sort of prestige to. Oh, with the industry, of course, when the truth is that the industry probably doesn't fucking matter that much.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you dip your toes in both worlds. I mean, I think Tim Dillon's a great example that a guy who, you know, built this huge Internet following. But then, like, every once in a while, he's like, I should do a Netflix thing, you know, just to be in both worlds. There's a value to that as well.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So I did my third. I did my fourth special with Hulu. I almost haven't even talked about it. The Hulu special I could have done solo, but I opted to do it with Hulu because they were just now starting to do standup, and I need audience. My biggest. The gift and curse of the Daily show is that you only have time to do the Daily Show. And then my first three specials were on Comedy Central, which I would Argue. Y' all were blessed to not get chosen by Comedy Central because they show.

[Sam Morril]

Your shit, they flush it down the.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Toilet, throw that bitch in the attic.

[Sam Morril]

They really were living like it was 1992.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

They were really like, here's one airing of that thing you worked for years on.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Didn't you feel crazy being like, hey, watch my shit at 11 on Friday? Yeah, on Friday.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

On a Friday, done at 11.

[Sam Morril]

And you're like, I have plans. I'm not gonna be.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Sam Morril]

And you're like, well, then you can't.

[Mark Normand]

Ever see it ever again.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And then.

[Sam Morril]

And then you have to do three cuts of it. Yeah, they're like, this is the short version. You're like, all right, this is fucking lci.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I guess I have to cut that Tag interruption.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Limited commercial standard.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, dude, it was insane.

[Sam Morril]

That's like a two week edit, a.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

50, a 47 and a 43. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And the whole time you're just like, I have to cut. Like I have to shorten a joke that I worked really hard.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So the only way you see the 60 is if you watch it online, assuming you have, at that time the Comedy Central app. Then my second special was CBS All Access. And my third special was Paramount Plus. And there was a time when Paramount plus first started and you search for my name, only one of the three specials came up.

[Mark Normand]

Geez. So.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So waiting on the coding, waiting on the tech to catch up. Yeah, it was fucking horrible. The Hulu calls disaster. And I go, well, Hulu has a network of shit and overseas it'll air. That's the other thing Comedy Central was geo. Was.

[Sam Morril]

You couldn't watch it in Canada geofenced.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So your shit didn't air in Europe for another four months because the American subscribers have first dibs. Because it's a cable model, dude.

[Sam Morril]

I was the first comic on Comedy Central to work at where I was like, you have to put my special on your website at least so people without cable can watch. And they were like, deal. And I said, and no ads. And they were like, okay, dude, you looked it up. I shit you not. There was like a three minute ad every two minutes. Yeah, it was mental. It was like. I was like, what the fuck is it? I told him, like, dude, we're competing with Netflix over here. This was like the beginning of Netflix. But I was like, you gotta like, there's no ads there.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You got.

[Sam Morril]

Now ads are coming to all of them now. It's like, you know, I did my last one with Amazon and it was like, literally the year I decided to go with Amazon, after I signed the contract, they're like, oh, we're doing ads now. If everyone doesn't pay the extra, like $4 a month or whatever. And I was just like, ugh, fuck.

[Mark Normand]

You're better off on Al Jazeera.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's like, what are we doing here?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. I would argue, though, for a lot of comics, I don't even think you need a special. I just think you need volume and repetition. Like, that's my approach starting next year, really.

[Sam Morril]

So you're done with special.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I want to do a one man show at some point, but I think the visuals of how I put that together got to be different. So I'm kind of studying Ali Siddiq, I'm studying Birbiglia, Jeff Ross. I just went to see his live joint, the banana Broadway show he's doing.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So to see, well, what are all of the creative possibilities. But in the meantime, just stand up. You put out seven, eight minutes every other week for me. I'm not Josh Johnson with it. I don't have that type of crazy. I hesitate to say autistic output. I'll say locked in.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, there you go.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's how you say on the spectrum without saying that, boy.

[Sam Morril]

Locked in.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Locked in. So for me, I think any comic is better off just doing 15s every month. Or that might be the new ones every month. I mean, that way you take the 15 or the 10 minute bit, you chop that bitch down to a couple 90 seconds to put it everywhere. We're basically programmed, we're network programmers for our own content across multiple platforms. But then you have to learn all of that. And I don't think in the black comedy community, there's nearly as much of a sharing of knowledge as it is on the white side. And then there's also a lot of ageism on the black side. I don't know how y' all wrong.

[Mark Normand]

But, like, earthquakes should be way bigger. Bigger, but he's old, okay?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So then you look at Covid. Covid, to me, was a perfect time where black, older black comics, and you correct me if white comics was doing this shit too. But in the black comedy community, it was a lot of older black comics who have been talking mad shit about the Instagram niggas and all the Facebook cats and all that.

[Mark Normand]

They're doing it too, okay?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And so then, then that fucking pandemic hit and you had to sit your ass down. Now all of a sudden, you, all right, were doing a little selfie killing. Yeah, you should have been here with it. So I think that there isn't necessarily a sharing of resources or pooling together. Like there should be multiple 85 south shows, you know, Ryan Davis. Forgive me, Ryan, for not remembering the podcast you were on, but he was talking about the fact that there's beef in black comedy and there's so few black comics. And then you'll have the audacity to beef, which is why there'll never be another Harlem night nights, because you can't put all your differences aside to come and do one thing together so well.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, even Cosby didn't like Eddie Murphy and then hated Richard Pryor.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but Eddie. But Eddie helped out Rock.

[Mark Normand]

You know, that's true.

[Sam Morril]

And then, you know, I think. And then Rock and Chappelle. I think there is a, you know, a kinship. But you're right. I think I have seen, like, Cat Williams, but that's too right. He's also, like, talks a lot of shit.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, but Cat. Cat Williams is interesting, though, in that without knowing the numbers on other comedians, I would say Cat Williams and Kevin Hart have probably created more homeowners in the black community than any other comedian. Interesting just in terms of volume of comics that have worked for them. Like, I mean, Cat carries usually, like four openers, but they hate each other.

[Sam Morril]

Kat and Kevin, Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

As far, last I checked.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

What day is it? Today day. Some days they're at peace. The next day, Mike Epps. And then it's. It's always, you thought the Middle East.

[Sam Morril]

You never know.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You thought they broke her to truce. And then someone throws a missile at another camp. I just. I don't know, man. I. I hate it. But I try to talk to the youngins to figure out what they're doing, what their outlook is on the shit. Because you got to grow it. Because at the end of the day, I mean, CNN's a blessing, but all this shit could get snatched from you.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And that's what I. Why.

[Mark Normand]

That's why the Internet. That's why I put, like, Ali Siddiq, you mentioned in Josh Johnson. Two guys on YouTube. Two guys killing it.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So you meet like. Like, you talk to Ian, Laura. I'm like, get a pod going, dude. Do a YouTube.

[Sam Morril]

He does a pod, doesn't he?

[Mark Normand]

I don't think he does.

[Sam Morril]

I think he does.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, well.

[Sam Morril]

You know, also, though, it's. I think, you know, you're right. Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He's got one Adulthood with Ian Lara.

[Mark Normand]

I've never heard of it. And I can't wait to start listening.

[Sam Morril]

Well, I love Ian. So.

[Mark Normand]

Anyway, anyway, he's an industry guy. He's waiting for HBO Spanish, or he's.

[Sam Morril]

Doing other Stu, you know. I mean, look, it's a grind, man. It's a grind. But that's why we do have to kind of have each other's backs. Because you see these, the specials, I think you're right, are gonna go down and down each year because at a certain point, it's gonna be like comedy movies, where it's like, they're like, we got a backlog. We're good. We don't need. Like, why are they not making comedy movies? It's like when Rainn Wilson was here. People are watching the Office still people. They'll rewatch a Segura special or something. We don't need to buy this many. Like, they'll buy them still, but not at the same clip, I don't think. And so you do have to help each other, because the Internet's not going anywhere. We can keep putting out clips, specials. I'm still kind of married to the idea of specials. I like working towards something that at the end of the tour, after you hit everywhere, you hone it. You make it better as you go, and then you. Here it is.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And you present that, and you have.

[Sam Morril]

And you have a body of work, and it lives.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Where you present it is where the rules now change, right? And so if you're waiting for industry to choose you, you gotta have an audience first before they'll even even consider you half of the fucking show.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So you have to build audience. And so I feel like at Daily show, there was a comfort. There's definitely a degree of comfort because every year I was basically on an overall deal with Comedy Central. So all my scripted shows, every script I sold, every movie I sold was through Paramount, and then I had Daily show, and every time I re up with Daily show, you give me another special and. Ah, man. But nobody watched that one. But you paid me a little bit more for this one, so. All right, I'll stay with you, coach. Nobody really watched that one, but you paid me even more for this third one. I'll stay around. And you lose eight years of audience traction, because for whatever numbers, I guarantee you, whatever the fuck numbers, my first special, bitch, I'll tell you, it's public. Nielsen. My second special was the highest rated premiere for a special at Comedy Central, and I think I did maybe a 0.7 share, which is 700,000 people.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's good.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's fucking YouTube numbers.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but how do you know how.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Many of those flipping the channel? But that's 0.7 with the TBR and let's just say DVR plus 3, which, for the industry, for the folks who don't know the industry, they do ratings on how many people watch that night and then within the next three days, how many people watch it in their DVR? DVR plus three for me was maybe a 0.9. So.

[Sam Morril]

But then what about, like, the first one? Can they watch, like, father figure? Is that on YouTube now?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's YouTube free now, but that's.

[Sam Morril]

That must help.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But the numbers of my. My old specials on YouTube are higher than what they ever were, cumulatively on broadcast.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's because it's easier to click a link than it is to set a fucking timer.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Okay, so then I should took 30k and shot that bitch myself. And if I'd have shot that bitch myself in 2016, what the fuck would that number be by now?

[Mark Normand]

Million.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It'd be. It'd be 5, 6 million.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but you know what? The business was changing and we didn't know. We didn't know. Like, Mark and I had YouTube success with our 2020 specials, but it was an act of desperation. It wasn't like business savvy on our part. It was like, I'm done with this hour. It's either this.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But that's where the innovation comes. Which is why, like, yes, I need to quit. I quit. What are you gonna do? I don't fucking know.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but anyway, you can see Roy's new special on CNN at midnight on.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Wednesday, which I would never. You know who did a special on cnn? And it made sense?

[Sam Morril]

Cq.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, Colin Quinn. I was like, this is the right place for that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But more people should have seen it.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, red and blue, but more people.

[Sam Morril]

Should have seen that one.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Colin is so, so good. Oh, he's one of my favorite.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But for what? These networks pay for an hour and what? You could shoot it for yourself, but you only feel that confidence if you're empowered with the information on monetization. Most cats ain't sharing that knowledge. There's no master class for how to do stand up shit.

[Mark Normand]

Share it. We'll share it. Step over the race line.

[Sam Morril]

Fucking shoot us a DM or something. I'll talk. Any young comic who's like, really, really wants it, I'll fucking answer your dude.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But see, it's the old ones that need it. Like, there's comics that still make flyers and posts I J. Priggs as their sole way of reaching people. I'm like, okay, but you need a clip, man.

[Mark Normand]

You need hear that rich boss selling DVDs out of your trunk.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I just, I don't know. I, I, I hate it, I hate it that there's not an evolution. Like, I know.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you're maybe speaking into action, man. Maybe, maybe people will. Like, I think your energy has always been like, like, you know, let's talk, let's help each other. I think that's what we hopefully are putting out there as well, you know?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Do you ever hit a wall of. Do you ever hit a wall of not wanting to help people anymore for feeling like you haven't helped yourself enough? Like, I feel like, like my reputation in the industry amongst comics is nice guy, help, helpful.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Okay, cool. I try to help when I can. And, oh, you need to know how to work or you hit a problem with a booker. Here's what I think you should do. But then I start thinking, well, you know, what if I can learn all of this and if I sit down with you and I give you all of this game and you don't apply it, it infuriates me. Infuriates me because why did you ask?

[Sam Morril]

I know, I know what you mean. Where it's like these people sometimes that they're like, hey, can I pick your brain? You're like, yeah, sure. And then they just kind of talk at you.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I'm like, oh, you didn't. Well, you just wanted to complain.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. So I have a day job and two dogs, so I can't really get out to open mics, but I still want to. How do I get a manager? And you're like, well, you got it right. And get up and hone it and find a voice.

[Sam Morril]

But also, you also, you just have to be like, with your time because you feel like you wasted your time then, right? So you have to, to be like, is this person you have to open with? Will you take this seriously?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And then if they don't, then they don't. But you have to just, like, I guess use your judgment there, bro.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's a comic down south told me he ain't moving to New York till he has an agent and manager.

[Mark Normand]

That's what I'm saying.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And I'm like, okay, well, the way to get one is to build an audience for yourself.

[Sam Morril]

By the way, what is a manager going to do if you have no audience? You have to.

[Mark Normand]

Or an act.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Like just try to make, try to make something happen.

[Mark Normand]

But I'm not taking advice from you. You were at the Daily show too long.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, yeah. I allowed my comedy for the opportunities that the Daily show and selling scripts allowed me. I traded having my stand up siloed for a decade.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Three specials that cumulatively don't even touch what my Hulu special did globally.

[Mark Normand]

Wow, that's crazy.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's on me. You know what I'm saying? So first thing you do is reshoot all of those jokes. I don't remember who gave me that.

[Sam Morril]

Taylor Swift, that joke.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know who gave me that. Yeah, re record all the songs. Yeah, I'm going to re record all three of my specials.

[Sam Morril]

You got to relearn all those beats, so that's tough.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh my God.

[Mark Normand]

You've grown from that guy.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Cuz the day you finish a special. Yes, the joke is gone. You can't even do it.

[Sam Morril]

There's some facial expressions I make in early specials. I'm like, I don't do that anymore. You ever see a face you make? You're like. And I'm just like. I'm like, what the was that?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, I remember.

[Sam Morril]

I did. Amy Schumer produced both Mark and I's first hour special on Comedy Central. There's the only reason they even looked at our hours back then. And I remember she was like, be more animated in this joke and you see a coup. There's a couple if you watch that where I'm just like, you know, goofy white guy face.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. She said, you don't smile, you're a serial killer. I was like.

[Sam Morril]

I remember.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, Amy had you fucking.

[Sam Morril]

Well, she was so good with Harlan Williams. Yeah, she was so good with like expressions on the show and stuff. So then I think she wanted, she was just trying to help. But it was like, but it wasn't us.

[Mark Normand]

She can act too. We can't really act.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Fucking chance. But yeah, like that's, that's, that's what I think more comics should do is just go, hey, here's what I do. And I think this works and helps me with monetization. It helps me reach more people. And I just don't think that a lot of comics, older comics, I don't think that they are all convinced that they need to learn that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I know.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You know what I mean?

[Sam Morril]

Well, it's like a second job, dude. And it's like we all talked about the fears of AI and stuff with like, you know, replacing our standup. But like there might be benefits to some of this shit with marketing and stuff where it can take some of the load off us. I hope. I don't know, I'm just trying to be optimistic.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So at Montreal this year we gave George Wallace like a lifetime achievement or like he got some big super duper highest trophy you can get. He deserves it.

[Sam Morril]

Ye.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He's a funny dude and I'm doing, I'm writing his introduction. I just started looking at the decades of work he's put in and that motherfucker evolved and pivoted every time. He's probably somebody could Google it. I would bet you he is the oldest comedian on Twitter that's active.

[Mark Normand]

Oh damn.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I'm trying to think of old, maybe Lewis Black. I don't know the age differential between but I feel like George Wilder's been around longer than Lewis Black and he's great on Twitter.

[Sam Morril]

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[Roy Wood Jr.]

And that's what I'm saying. So you, you learn it, you figure out which of these platforms works for your stand up. But George Wallace, man, he has three generations of people coming to see him. And then you only do that if you can reinvent, invent constantly. Like I feel like, I feel like Gaffigan hit a second wave and went back to the fan pool to get another wave of young, young talent like John Witherspoon. He used to have droves of like grandchildren at the show.

[Sam Morril]

Like regeneration movies and the boondocks help, like that stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But it's like what do you do as a standup to keep finding the audience? And so if you're a comic of a certain age talking about a certain thing, then somebody under that age ain't fucking with it. And if you outlive your audience or you outlive your audience's desire to continue to go see live shit, if you put the floor at 60, maybe 65, unless you're the king of all the 65, like unless you're Seinfeld where everybody over 50 fucks with you.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Then you're losing like. Cause like when you're, when you're a comic and you're in your 30s, 30s, I would argue the swath of customers is probably 25 to 55. And as you get older, your floor comes up. And then at a certain point you're just the guy that if your humor has not evolved and you're not talking about newer, younger shit, 22 and 24 year olds are gonna come see you.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And so how do you reinvent and or expand your reach within the demographic that fucking with you?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Those are the only two ways to sustain and to decade. If we're talking about going into decade number three in your career, then at some point you've got to find more People. Because less people are going out after a certain.

[Mark Normand]

Of course.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Marker.

[Mark Normand]

But don't you feel like with the Internet you can go, who is this guy? They can find you if you put all your. Online young people.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

If you put. If you put it out.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. That's what you got to do.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You're not.

[Sam Morril]

They're making those tick tocks where you're just like, I'm sad. You see, one of those days I'm sad, and then people like, this guy's talking about mental health. I reach the young people.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You just gotta play a little chapel roan over it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know, man. Find the shit you like to do, figure out the platform where it lives best and do that over and over again.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, for sure.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So I don't know.

[Sam Morril]

But I do think that people like you find new people every day with like an old clip even. It'll be like, oh, who's this guy?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, well, Seinfeld. I opened for him and he was like, thank God for commuting cars. As I. I don't know if I'd be relevant without it. I'm like, your show comes on 17 times a day. You're fine.

[Sam Morril]

You're gonna.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's a new thing he had to reinvent.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

To find a new thing, man. And I wonder if he even knew that that's what he was doing when he did it. When he started it, that was a web series on like Crackle.

[Mark Normand]

Crackle.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Crackle was just some. Off. Like, I'm not on Crackle, but like, this wasn't like, yeah, I'm gonna do it here. And then we're gonna get acquired and we're gonna do adf.

[Sam Morril]

How the hell did Jerry not get a better network than Crackle?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Maybe that's just. That's a good question. Funny or Die was still popping back then, right?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But it's also weird that, like, I mean, I literally just thought of Crackle as like that Halloween candy that. That with Mr. Goodbar.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

And the Hershey's Dark.

[Mark Normand]

The dark. The red one.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Crackle, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Love crackle.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Chapter seven bankruptcy for.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, there you go.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

TV 2024. I'm so Southern. You. You say Crackle? I think Cracklins, which is pork rinds.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Damn. Wow. Jerry really slumming it with Crackle. But they probably gave him an ass load of money and that's what.

[Sam Morril]

And people still watched it. There were no ads. Right. You just clicked on it.

[Mark Normand]

So. Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And the episodes were only 10 minutes, so there was no science to it even being created to live anywhere but Crackle.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Like, he just didn't give a man.

[Mark Normand]

It was a weird show when it came out. Like, you're gonna be driving around what this means and cars and coffee, but he loves.

[Sam Morril]

He loves cars. It was like a way to just, like, be like, oh, I like this.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Find what you love. Find a place can live and do it over and over again.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Then by the end of it, he's got Murphy on, Chappelle on, like, you know, all the big ones.

[Sam Morril]

The Murphy one was good. That was a good app.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I won't name names, but you can tell the episodes of Comedians and Cars where he doesn't give a fuck about who he's with.

[Sam Morril]

And then you're like, why did he ask?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't think he asked him. I feel like that was some Netflix. Like, hey, listen, we need to get this person in there, right? They're new, they're good. You'll like them.

[Mark Normand]

He's like a Z. What? Who's sorry.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. Legit. Like, it's like shit like that, where it's like, these are legends, but he just doesn't know him because they're not in his bubble.

[Mark Normand]

He had Patton Oswald on, and we just had. Pat and I were fans, and he was like, so you do that, like, weird kind of comedy. You're like a weird alternative guy. And he's like, what I've been around for.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's a 2003 question for Patton.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

What's this new alt.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, exactly.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Brian Posein. Tell me about.

[Mark Normand]

So you could tell he wasn't too familiar with his work.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, I. You know, I think Seinfeld shines best when he's talking with people he actually connects with and cares about. Look at that. 13. 11 seasons.

[Sam Morril]

He's done 11 seasons.

[Mark Normand]

Unbelievable.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Holy.

[Mark Normand]

I rewatch this all the time. I love.

[Sam Morril]

I like him with Gervais.

[Mark Normand]

That was great.

[Sam Morril]

They have good chemistry.

[Mark Normand]

They have two of those. There's Jamie Foxx.

[Sam Morril]

That was a great one.

[Mark Normand]

Great one. That's Doug Williams.

[Sam Morril]

Just kidding with Jamie doing voiceover. A little commentary.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. I still go, doug, you can't even.

[Sam Morril]

Do well in a car right now.

[Mark Normand]

It's all that shifting.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Seinfeld doesn't like me.

[Mark Normand]

Also, another great thing about this show, he had Rickles, he had Jerry Lewis, he had Carl Reiner, and then now they're all dead. So, like, we have another little moment with those guys.

[Sam Morril]

That is a beautiful thing. Like, Like Harry Gross on Fresh Air. You can look up Like Terry Gross interviewing like, Henny Youngman. Whoa, she's interviewing Henny Youngman. She's talking to fucking. What's his name? Jackie Mason. These interviews, we were just like. And it's amazing because it's shit that you don't like. Look, was Jackie Mason's comedy for me? No, but he still says shit that. That connects you still. Like, he's a comic, so you're like, wow, you get stuff from all these. I remember when Richard Belzer died, they re released that Fresh Air with him and Terry Gross. And it was a. He was so good in the interview. I said it to you.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

I sent it to you. Enlist. But yo, it's. It's cool, man. Like, but you're right. He like, these need to live somewhere. Especially with the OGs. Like, Rickles was still great.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You boys been to the Comedy Museum in Jamestown?

[Sam Morril]

I have. I think I'm in it somewhere. I think I did like an interview.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

For it or something. It's hard to get to. Yes, but it's worth it. I gotta go two hours from the nearest airport. Like, if you. Oh, if you go Erie.

[Sam Morril]

What's the nearest airport?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Erie or Buffalo. Erie, Penn. Or Buffalo. It's in Jamestown, New York. It's Lucille Ball's hometown.

[Mark Normand]

That's right.

[Sam Morril]

They had that. Remember that ugly statue of Lucille Ball? Pull it up.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's like the worst statue ever. I know they're hard to make and they're expensive, but look at this shit.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But nah, that shit look like Ronaldo.

[Sam Morril]

It does look like Ronaldo.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It looks like the Ronaldo statue.

[Mark Normand]

God damn.

[Sam Morril]

But what. What are the highlights of the Lucille Ball?

[Mark Normand]

Look.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Locked in.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, they redid. Look at that.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, thank God Lucille Ball was there. Glad you got work done.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

She got a bba.

[Sam Morril]

She's a beautiful lady.

[Mark Normand]

Beautiful lady. Redhead.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But yeah, shout out to Lucille. Cause the museum was originally a tribute to her. And then she told the people who were building the museum, fuck that. Make it a tribute to all of comedy.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And it's literally Smithsonian level artifacts.

[Mark Normand]

And I think they have Dangerfield suit.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yes, they have a bunch of comedy suits in there.

[Sam Morril]

So it's like the Rock and Roll hall of Fame, but for comics.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. But walks you through each era of comedy and style of comedy and comedians who dominated that style. They don't like, set them up in like a Mount Rushmore or anything like that. But there's like, they. They have like a whole exhibit just on working blue.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And comics who cursed and. And so then they have a letter.

[Sam Morril]

This is the stool that Bobby Sladen sniffed after a woman went to the bathroom.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

They have. They have letters that Lenny Bruce wrote while he was locked. Locked up. And it's bits. This motherfucker's locked up for jokes and he's in jail writing bits.

[Sam Morril]

That's fucking beautiful. That's a powerful thing right there.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Pages of Carson jokes and scripts and transcripts and like teleplays or whatever.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, I gotta go to this.

[Mark Normand]

It's great.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Blazing Saddles first draft just on display like the Constitution with the light treated glass so it doesn't get sun faded. Like, like it's legit A good fucking time. Like, if you give a fuck about jokes, they got. It covers everything right up till I say about.

[Mark Normand]

Look how young he was.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. About Mulaney. Kevin Hart is where. Timeline. The kings of comedy is in there.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. We gotta donate money to move this thing to Queens or something, bro.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It would be a line out the door every day.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Closer. But it really is like, my point is comedians and cars is the closest thing to this in terms of immortalizing conversations with comedians.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

They were like behemoths of their era or whatever, but it's. It's fascinating.

[Sam Morril]

That is freaking cool.

[Mark Normand]

Larry Sanders desk.

[Sam Morril]

That is.

[Mark Normand]

That's amazing. I was pretty hungover when I walked through, so I feel like I didn't get a full.

[Sam Morril]

I was there, I think, like two years before they built it. Because I was there for that festival.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, the Lucia Ball Festival. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And I performed in the Copacabana.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Pretty crazy.

[Sam Morril]

And I saw. I saw a buzz Brian Regan walk in. I was like, don't bomb in front of Regan, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And no, it was fun as hell, though. I mean, they're. They're good people who started this.

[Mark Normand]

And oh, the puffy shirt with the Emmy.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, Seinfeld. Imagine winning so many Emmys. You can just go, huh, motherfucker? Put that one in you.

[Sam Morril]

But it's like, it is weird when places like, are in like, the basketball hall of Fames in Springfield, Massachusetts, and.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You'Re like, you can't put it in.

[Sam Morril]

Like a slightly Cooperstown for baseball.

[Mark Normand]

Cooperstown.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, that's even harder to get to.

[Sam Morril]

These are fucking impossible to get to.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Cheap land.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I went to. This is a shame. As much of a baseball fan I am only went because I had to interview Bob Costas for that Roku home run earlier this year. And that was a three hour ride from New York.

[Mark Normand]

Come on.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

There's no plane there's no.

[Sam Morril]

Why is Costas not on TV anymore? He was so good.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know. I know. I thought he still pops in here and there and does, like, special here.

[Sam Morril]

And there, but he's a. He's a legend. He was a great, great broadcaster, and he was very intelligent. Like, anytime you hear him go into depth on stuff, you're like, if I.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Were Bob Costas, I would be content in picking and choosing when I, you know. Sure, yeah, I'll call that game.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You know. Yeah. What's that? Game of the week. Nah, get that back outta here. I said Yankees, Phillies, World Series. Yeah, give me game two. I believe he just calls in and just calls his shift. Everybody's just happy to have him.

[Mark Normand]

Well, what is your most prized comedy memorabilia? Do you guys have something?

[Sam Morril]

God damn. All right, you go first. What do you got?

[Mark Normand]

Well, let's see.

[Sam Morril]

Clearly you got something in mind, right?

[Mark Normand]

I have a photo with Noel and a text that he sent to a friend of mine that said, I saw this comic. He's hilarious. Mark Norman. So I've put the text.

[Sam Morril]

That's pretty cool.

[Mark Normand]

That was great. What else do I have?

[Sam Morril]

This is gonna sound really corny, but when I was in high school, I went to see David Teller Caroline's, and he autographed the playbill for me, and that was like. And I still have that. So that's like. That's sentimental. Because I was like, you know, my favorite comic, and he was cool then. He's even cooler now.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's not framed yet, but I have a picture with Arsenio hall from the Emmys. 2023.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

03 Star Search. I bombed.

[Mark Normand]

Pull it up.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And I got ready. Oh, you can't find it, baby.

[Mark Normand]

You got.

[Sam Morril]

It's a good publicity team.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Star Search 2000.

[Sam Morril]

You Rob Delaney'd this.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Exactly. All you can find is me telling the story of Star Search Search. You can't even find the clip. Yeah, you got Letterman. That's 07. You can't find. You can't find any episodes of Star Search.

[Mark Normand]

I think the Chappelle.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know if you can stream it.

[Mark Normand]

Kevin Brennan. One's still lurking around.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I did star search 03. That's the host.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And I was getting ready to cuss out B2K because, you know, I. I bomb. But you're, like, defensive because people are telling you you suck.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And you don't know how to react. And I'm new to television. I'm like, what, motherfucker? And I'm like, getting ready to cuss him. And Arsenio just, like, gently pulls me back. He just. And, like, through his teeth, he just.

[Mark Normand]

Goes, ooh, that's a friend.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Save my ass, bro.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And, like, that's one of those things where, you know, Scarlet Letter, there's no coming back. You're just forever the guy who cussed out Naomi Judd and two young teenage rappers.

[Mark Normand]

Embarrassment, ironically, that would go viral now and would help you, but back then, that was. You'd be out of the business.

[Sam Morril]

It wouldn't help. It would go viral, though.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I don't think no one's building a career off that.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I got a thank you letter from Letterman.

[Sam Morril]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, that's a good one.

[Sam Morril]

That's honestly a career highlight is. I did the couch on Letterman on Netflix. And like, that. That was like a career highlight because I was like, I always want to do Letterman. I was bummed when it ended. I just want to do stand up on it. So I think it's cool as I that you, Mark and I always, like, talk about how we missed out on that and.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, wait.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, shit. We got the whole EP here, baby.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, my fucking Lord. Oh, man, I hope it's not me. Keep going. I'm in the back. Third if it's the comedy part, because it was me, John Heffron and Alonzo Bowden. Nope. That's finesse. No, no, that's DS Sanders.

[Sam Morril]

No, that's Steven Scott. Dude.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's Steven Scott. But the guy before him was DS Sanders out of D Detroit. This is the week that was the semifinals week before. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you're close. You're close.

[Sam Morril]

You're way better than Sal.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

My shit is the week after that episode because I studied DS to figure out what to do, and clearly I didn't do shit. That he did survive.

[Mark Normand]

Or Steven Scott.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, Steven Scott did a lot of impressions and stuff.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, there were a lot of good guys on there. I think Ben Bailey did it, Jamie Leslie, so.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, wow.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It was a good bunch.

[Mark Normand]

This IS POST Ed McMahon.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Because that's when I was watching John Heffron. Efron was big.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Was. It's. This is pretty. This is pre. Last comic, though.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I think contest comedy is like a different skill set, though.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, completely.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Like, you gotta be broad. Joke structure. You gotta be broad and fast.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes.

[Sam Morril]

Mike Kaplan back in the day was so good at those because he went a lot quick. He was. It was. He would, like, go up and tag your joke and you're like, Motherfucker. What the hell? You know what he had that was such a good one. Remember his joke where he's like, I'm in a marriage. It's an open marriage. It's a divorce. We took a broken glass, we put it back together. I was like, these are so quick, these jokes. He would just hit you and hit you and hit you. And you're like, God damn.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Caps was so funny. We toured together for last comic standing.

[Sam Morril]

That's right. And with Johnigan and distefano.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Right? John again. Distefano and Felipe Esparza.

[Mark Normand]

Wow, what a lineup.

[Sam Morril]

That's a good five, man.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So it was 80 cities. So some of the. Every city there was somebody that, like, which one of us gonna hate, right? Because there was almost no show where all five of us did well, you're so different. Yeah. You pick a demographic and it's just odd. And I remember Mike Kaplan did a joke. He goes. I went to. And this is like Montgomery or Greensboro, North Carolina. It's a random. And I went to a fast food spot in order to drink. And they said. I said, I'd like a small. And they said, we only have medium and large. I said, well, if all you have is medium, then you're medium. Then you therefore is a small. And like crickets. I'm not doing. I'm not doing the joke justice, but they're like, nerds. Let's. Yeah, but that was the sentiment of the crowd.

[Mark Normand]

Get the Jew.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But then we would get up.

[Sam Morril]

But that's that joke. Just of the. The tone of. I've proven a point.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly. Indubitably.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But then we would get up to like, Boston and Rhode island and like places where there's like a Jewish population killing. And then I get on stage, man, the police be pulling us over, don't they? And they're like, no, right, right.

[Mark Normand]

Not us.

[Sam Morril]

We haven't looked into that. You know what? While we're waiting for this, why don't you pull up the thing that I sent you? Because.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

No, I'm serious. I don't know if you can find that clip because I combed the Internet to make sure that a clip of me bombing.

[Sam Morril]

Why don't you put. Do you have the thing I send you, Matt? Okay, this. Mark's birthday is this week, so I got him a little something. And this is obviously pre recorded.

[Mark Normand]

McGrath.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Is that the house dude that went to jail?

[Sam Morril]

Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I thought that was.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Mark Normand. It is Mark McGrath from the band Sugar Ray. Off the charts. In our heart.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

This is two minutes long.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, stay with it.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Speaking of always in our hearts, I understand from your friend Sam that you, Mark, are celebrating a bit of a milestone very, very soon. And that is another trip around the son for you, Mark. Otherwise known as a birthday.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's correct.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Sam was kind enough let me know that you are turning 62 years old. So Sam and I want to say to you, Mark Normand, happy, happy birthday, my brother. We hope you have the best birthday of all time. We hope it's filled with love and joy and happiness and family and friends and music and dancing like those no one's watching. And food and drink and cake and.

[Mark Normand]

Gifts and all those things, Mark Norman.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

That make a birthday so very, very special. Because Sam, let me know how special you are. Sam, let me know that you're a gigantic, huge.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, dear.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Of a music of Sugar Ray.

[Mark Normand]

You love the music of sugar. You had the frost chips and all of that. Well played.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

You have sparrow tattoos on your shoulder. Because, Mark Norman, you just wanted to be Mark McGrath. But there only can be one. You spell your name with a K, Mark, because those who spell their names with a C are a different breed. But I know you know that.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Also.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Sam wanted me to congratulate you on something, Mark. And it's kind of. It's kind of sensitive, but it's something we both have in common. Sam says congratulations on your penis reduction surgery. And as we both know, Mark, it's a very, very dangerous procedure.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Wow.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Because both of our were just too big. And being an Irishman, we're not known for our big dicks. But mine was gigantic, dude. Gigantic. Especially for an Irishman. Mine was at least six and a half. So now I'm coming in about two and a quarter.

[Sam Morril]

He's running with it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Sam said you're about a buck and a half now.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Inch and a half.

[Mark Normand]

So would you give him a couple bullet points? And he ran with us. Oh, that's great.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Yeah, it's a tough up.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

This is glorious.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Big dicks like us, man, it's across to bear. Especially if you're really handsome like me. I don't know you, Mark, if you're handsome or not. Yeah, I think I do. I think I've seen some of your stuff. You are handsome, you are funny, and you are brilliant.

[Mark Normand]

I'll take it.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Happy birthday, Mark. All the best to you from Sam. I'm wondering which of your funny comedian friends Sam is. There's a few of them. And your new friend.

[Sam Morril]

I didn't give a Last name?

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Happy 62nd birthday, but you're probably not a day over 41. Lots of love to you. Sorry about your Saints, but I'm a Giants fan. Happy birthday, Mark. Take care, man. From Sam.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, he killed it, man.

[Mark Normand]

Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, he killed it.

[Mark Normand]

I thought, I just want to fly.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

After watching that. Wow. Who knew?

[Sam Morril]

Who knew?

[Mark Normand]

We're on the way up.

[Sam Morril]

He knows he killed it, though.

[Mark Normand]

That was great. I know. He had a humor. He's a funny guy.

[Sam Morril]

He was fun.

[Mark Normand]

Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

We needed something fun.

[Mark Normand]

I appreciate it.

[Sam Morril]

Are fun.

[Mark Normand]

I thought cameo was over.

[Sam Morril]

Now it's rocking.

[Mark Normand]

All right, well, it was between him.

[Sam Morril]

And I was like, who's a good. Who's a good rando? Here, for you.

[Mark Normand]

That was very rando. Well played. Well, dude, now I got to get you one. Now we'll just keep it ping and ponging.

[Sam Morril]

Let's ping pong. Let's ping pong some random ass Cameos. Hit me with the lead singer of omc.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you got it. I'm going to call Kevin Pollock or somebody.

[Sam Morril]

You got a book out.

[Mark Normand]

Check out Roy's book.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Is this your first book?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

First ever. I never wrote shit in my life, but this is good because it's all, like, pain and like, oh, wow. It's not dark, but it's. My pops died when I was 16, so it's just lessons I learned from other men along the way.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Nick Cannon's kids are the same story.

[Sam Morril]

But I just.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

I do.

[Sam Morril]

I literally just heard him on a podcast say he has narcissistic personality disorder.

[Mark Normand]

I saw that, and I was like, he had kids.

[Sam Morril]

You have 13 kids.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

We could have told you you had a narcissistic personality disorder. You wanted 13 more of you.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He admitted that he wish it could have played out differently, but God bless him for having the money to at least try and make it functional. Money's not gonna buy you the time, but, sure, yeah. But, yeah, my pops. I'm not, you know, I'm the ninth of 11 kids.

[Sam Morril]

That's crazy.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I'm my mom's only kid, but I'm the ninth of 11. So you just don't get the nobody. Like, after a certain number of kids, no one gets the same dad.

[Mark Normand]

Right, Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Does that make sense?

[Mark Normand]

Of course.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Like, all right, five through eight, get this version of Pops. I got that version. The two after me got a totally different version.

[Sam Morril]

Like, it's just, after you, he was like, I'm retiring. I'm done.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, pretty much. But, yeah, Man. It's a good read, man. I think that Roy's a great writer, man.

[Sam Morril]

Definitely. Check it out. I'm gonna check it out.

[Mark Normand]

Fascinating stuff. How did you. Did you get any attention? I mean, how do you do that with. How do you guys eat? I mean, that's a lot of kids.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

No, it's just me and my mom. We lived with my dad, but they slept in separate rooms. Like, my parents were, like, interesting. We're together. So you for discipline so that he doesn't end up in a gang.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But just don't bring none of them hoes over here, Right? And that was, like the. That was the line in the sand between the two of them. So that's not a normal upbringing. Especially when you start trying to figure out, out, well, what does love look like? And how will I show it to my son when I find someone, you know? So you have to, like, start working through all of that, bro.

[Mark Normand]

Totally.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's the part that sucks about writing a book is that you have to, like, go, all right, well, what's wrong with me? And it's not for comedy purposes. You're just writing.

[Sam Morril]

You're just looking at yourself.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That's no fun.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What in a hair? You know when you're getting a haircut and you're like, I gotta look at this the whole time. I hate the mirror.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

God, the last girl come out here. Way too far out. What do we do? Oh, yeah, I gotta get a haircut. What are some. What are some fatherhood lessons you've learned?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I mean, for me, man, one of them was about just not snitching. It's because it's not even just about fatherhood as much as it is. The idea of. Here are the values you need to learn as a man. There was a. There was a comic I used to work with Rip to Spanky Brown.

[Sam Morril]

I opened for him once in Knoxville.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh. At side splitters.

[Sam Morril]

Side splitters.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Good.

[Sam Morril]

We were together the night that Whitney Houston died and Jeremy lynn went for 38 on the Laker.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And I'm betting money Spank had a joke about Whitney.

[Sam Morril]

He did.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And he was a good dude.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I remember. Those are some of the best dark.

[Mark Normand]

Jokes were like, you took a bath on that weekend.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Being on stage, like, being at a club with comedians right after, like, some tragedy. There was some comic I opened for the day Payne Stewart died and his jet crashed, and he was like, payne Stewart coming in at 6 under. And I was like, woof. Oh, fuck. There was. Well, I Won't say her name because people get mad now, but fucking Heidi Flood. No, this is a black woman comic. This is the. Oh, I performed In Macon, like three days after 9, 11. And she walks on stage with like the most amazing jewelry. It's just glistening. She goes, y' all like my jewelry? Yeah, I stole it off bodies at ground zero. Damn. I was like, jesus.

[Mark Normand]

Did it hit Jesus?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

First joke. That's how she came out the gate.

[Mark Normand]

I respect that.

[Sam Morril]

But Spanky, man, the second joke hit 15 minutes later.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So Spank and I were riding down. It's the story I tell in the book. But we riding down to a gig and the booker called to cancel. The booker? We're performing at a compete. And you know how those one night guys, they're very. You don't perform over there. You're one of my guys. How dare you perform over there?

[Sam Morril]

I hated that.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Dude, fuck you. You haven't booked me in a year. I'm performing over there. Fuck your room. And the guy calls me for. He doesn't know me and Spanky are in the car together. He calls me first to get me to quit, to not do the room. And I'm like, oh, think about. I'm 22, passive spank at this time, he's like 40, 45. He's a fucking grown man. And the guy calls Spank to try and get him to cancel, to basically suffocate the computer. It's two hours before the show.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, come on.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And you're trying to kill the comedy night at the computer room. And Spank goes, you motherfucker, you ain't gave me no. And he cusses this fucking dude out top to bottom, like a 20 minute just tirade. And I'm just fucking white knuckled. Like, that's not how you talk to our bosses.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And he go, ain't none of these your boy boss. You. Your boss. They are fucking co collaborators.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And it fucking. It changed how I looked at gigs. It changed how I look at the idea that anybody, at least in entertainment has any control over your career because they try to. All these bookers act like they're the key.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Be nice to me and I'll unlock all the doors for the kid. And Spank cuss that top the bottom about him. And I've been all right ever since.

[Sam Morril]

He was. He was an all right dude. I like Spanky, man. He was cool.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, he. He. His. His other mistake to me, or at least what I learned from him, was the importance of dating the right person while you do this. And like the idea that if you have someone, especially if you got a hard job and you with somebody that don't support you or will just get out of your way, you can't be with them. And I. And I had a front row seat to a lot of that dysfunction. I kind of get into that a little bit in the book, but it's like the idea of you don't even realize how much the person. Even if y' all just fucking, like, even if it's just casual, they can't bring stress into what you do because this shit is already stressful enough. And like, understanding that part.

[Sam Morril]

What's unfortunate is those women are really good at in bed.

[Random Cameo Speaker]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Those crazy ones are.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I feel like you got like five in your head right now.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, I got to call them. Got to get back with Judy. No, the women I'm with hate men way more than Judy.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. The importance of if you're going to be with somebody, choosing somebody that actually complements what you do or is in support of it ain't got to be your lean man. But damn, you can't be no spoiler either.

[Sam Morril]

That goes for everything. It goes for partnerships. It goes for, like working relationships. It goes for be with someone who makes your life easier and who's loyal and good.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And, you know, I struggle with that on the professional side, like hiring people. It's like, I don't know if you're gonna. Especially if I'm hiring you for some shit I know how to do.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I'll just. It's fine. I'll. I'll knock it out. I'll stay up till three in the morning. I'll edit my own videos.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but you can't. You need that time to live. You got to do.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What I do is my wife. We have an eight month old and I'm always on the road, so I just walk in with the check. I hold the check on the walk in, because she's probably like, God damn, I've been changing diapers, getting screamed at, and I just go, there it is. And she's like, all right, all right, you're in.

[Sam Morril]

She's like, you want us to wire that money? You're like, no, no, no, I want to pay. I want it. I want it golf style.

[Mark Normand]

I want it exactly happy.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You see that shit where they went broke and they're cutting off everybody's money?

[Mark Normand]

No, bitch.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Publishers Clearinghouse file for bankruptcy.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And all the people who were promised $5,000 a week for Life. There's a. Yeah, we ain't got it.

[Sam Morril]

All those people that were going to get Bobby Bonilla paid just got.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Dude, they've been getting checked since the 90s.

[Sam Morril]

Bankruptcy is a bitch.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. Publishers, they make their money off.

[Sam Morril]

I'm getting some money from a studio. I owed a decent amount of money from a studio that went bankrupt. And I was. I was like, my buddy is also owed who I wrote it with. And we're just like, really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Come on.

[Sam Morril]

But that's what bankruptcy is. It's like, we don't have to pay you. We're bankrupt.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Fuck you. Yeah, sorry. Ha ha.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, but the people are trying to sue and shit, but I always feel like if you've gotten 5,000 a week for a while.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, but a deal's a deal, right? I mean, it's all.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, I mean, it deals a deal until I don't have the money. I make money from magazines. Nobody just reading fucking handheld magazines anymore.

[Sam Morril]

You know, I kind of want to go back. I was thinking about going back to newspaper because when I'm at, like, the airport or something, I get magazines. I get it. For some reason, it's only an airport thing now for me. But I was like. I kind of like it. I read more when I. When I'm holding it, as opposed on my phone.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Because you look at articles that you wouldn't have normally clicked the link to.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

True.

[Sam Morril]

And you're not distracted to scroll out in the phone and get it. Go with a text. Yeah, I'm all in. I. Dude, I'm. I'm going back to hard.

[Mark Normand]

It's a good shield, too. Like, my dad would read the paper every day, and it. When that paper was up, you couldn't. You couldn't get around it. Like, you couldn't go, hey, dad, the paper was up, so it was like a nice block.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Sound like you need to write a book.

[Mark Normand]

It was tough.

[Sam Morril]

Well, we'll plug some dates, too, dude. But buy Roy's new book and get on Amazon, right?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. We telling some stories on tour. It's not like a. Because I hate the word book tour. Because it suggests that I'm just gonna be. Hey, it's just. I'm sitting on stage and I'm pontificating.

[Mark Normand]

No, Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

We're telling stories. We're telling stories from the book. Make the shit funny. Put some openers in that. More importantly, everybody who comes to the show this fall gets a book.

[Sam Morril]

That's pretty cool.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's baked into the price of the ticket. So I love it.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Come watch the shit. I'm pretty much everywhere but the Midwest for. Right? Well, no, no, I'm in the Midwest. I'm with Milwaukee and Minnesota And I think St. Louis or some. No, Charlotte and Duration.

[Mark Normand]

Him. Nice.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. I don't have a lot of West Coast. We're getting California at it soon.

[Sam Morril]

But we got. We got SF on there in Seattle on there.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. Yeah, man.

[Sam Morril]

Beautiful.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, indeed, man. But yeah. Love you boys, man.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, you guys are the best.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Having me, man.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Thanks for coming on. Get the book, everybody. Check out Roy on tour.

[Sam Morril]

Where are we starting this? I'm in Paris tonight. You already missed that. Amsterdam, Berlin. Back in. In Salt Lake City, second time this year. Wise guys. November 14th through 16th. Love that club. Them in Reno at the Atlantis Casino. November 29th, Carnegie Hall, December 4th. Hope to see you there. Hey, punch up.live/sam Morrell slash tickets. Or, you know, punch up.live/Mark Norman slash tickets. Mark. What do you got, man?

[Mark Normand]

Well, I just did Huntsville this weekend. I know you're an Alabama guy. Wait, what are you. Birmingham?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, Birmingham.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Tickets aren't moving. But, hey, Valley Center, Harrah's. Then I'm in Magoobies Mall, Baltimore, Lincoln Theater, Chocol City. Going back to Rochester for a makeup. Niagara Falls, San Diego and Prior Lake. Nothing better than a casino to get that cash grab and a real bomb. So. Yeah, come on.

[Sam Morril]

Good combo.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Get some bodega.

[Sam Morril]

Bodega. Catwisky.com or just DM Matt Bodega Cat Whiskey on Instagram if you want it in your. In your liquor store, in your bar, because we're making some moves. You want to be there? There with you? Shout out Comedy Store for putting us on the menu and moving it. Comedy seller. We love you. Strip House Steakhouse. What else?

[Mark Normand]

Shade in the Village, Martin's Wine Cellar in New Orleans.

[Sam Morril]

So many good. So many places carrying it now. And we. And we're grateful. Please hit us up if you want to, especially your comedy club. Hit us the up, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, and let's get that in Canada. They were all asking for it. They don't have it up.

[Sam Morril]

Tariffs Trump.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Sneak it in.

[Mark Normand]

Twink.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Carney, I'd take it up there for you, but they ain't gonna let me do a little more paperwork.

[Sam Morril]

Bye. Roy's book, guys. And. And see him on tour. We love you guys.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Comedy Sunday's the day for my next bender.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

A bit of heck, you know, the beard. Close. I've had a little too much bur and Norman's talking about the post and I get down in the same way up on the roof like a cop's coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans this woman doesn't look like I remember her and I get down in the same way we might be true.