Transcript

Sam Morril (0:06)

Have you guys ever been near panic attack on stage?

Mark Normand (0:08)

I don't think so. I've been near shitting.

Pete Holmes (0:11)

I just. At a club. Where was I? Maybe I'll leave out where I was.

Sam Morril (0:15)

It's better.

Pete Holmes (0:16)

But I was doing a club. This was about a week ago, late Friday. Lady in the front. Lovely lady. Meaning I had engaged with her a couple times. And I don't really do crowd work. So she was talking to me, and so I was addressing her and, you know, being nice and everything. Towards the 45 minute mark. I only know that. Cause you'll see, she collapses. Whoa. She falls. I look up, there's like a commotion. And she's on the ground and she's going, I'm okay. And of course, I go, like, vaccine, Vaccine. The microchip working. I forgot that my Illuminati app, I had set it to go off right before I closed. No, she. She kind of had like a head wrap. That could have gone either. Maybe she was struggling with something. I know it's hard to riff on the subject, but she did fall, and it was impossible to continue.

Mark Normand (1:10)

Head wrap before or after.

Pete Holmes (1:12)

The head wrap was sort of like she might have been. Oh, no, no, not gauze. Like a stylish head wrap, but that might have conveyed chemotherapy.

Sam Morril (1:23)

Okay. I would say if someone's got gauze on their head, don't sit them up front.

Pete Holmes (1:26)

No, no, no.

Mark Normand (1:26)

Don't move.

Pete Holmes (1:27)

But I just was like, I don't know what. I was just honest. That's always the best move, right? I was like, I don't know what to do. I could keep going. I tried, like, a couple quick jokes, and they got laughs. But they're these types of laughs. Like, our health is so real. When you see someone down. And they got her up but down. Here's the sweet punchline, though. I'm not going to make it about me. I was going to say I have really sweet fans. I'm trying to compliment them. The people at their table, strangers, had a wheelchair. Went and got it.

Mark Normand (2:03)

Whoa.

Pete Holmes (2:04)

They brought a wheelchair. Was in almost immediately after I got off stage. And I was like, you guys just have a wheelchair. They were like, those are the people that they were with. And they paid their bill. I was like, that's so sweet. They were just like, we got her bill. We got our wheelchair. Keep the wheelchair. I think wheelchairs are like, keep the wheelchair.

Summary

We Might Be Drunk – Episode 260: Pete Holmes (Dec 1, 2025)

Episode Overview

This episode of We Might Be Drunk features comedians Mark Normand and Sam Morril hosting the ever-thoughtful and high-energy Pete Holmes. The trio dives deep into the eccentricities of stand-up, the struggle of joke-writing, moments of vulnerability, and a parade of classic comedy lore—all while riffing off their own histories and neuroses. With a conversational, playful tone, they revisit wild onstage experiences, comedy’s constantly shifting culture, lessons from legends, and the often-awkward intersection of personal life and career.

Key Discussion Points

1. Nightmares on Stage: Medical Emergencies & Awkward Moments

Pete’s Emergency Story: Pete shares about a woman collapsing mid-set, disrupting the show’s momentum and leading to a heartwarming crowd response.
- "I was just honest. That's always the best move, right? I was like, I don't know what to do..." (00:27)
- Audience members quickly bring a wheelchair and settle her bill, exemplifying community kindness.
Sam’s Stroke Story: Sam recounts doing a gig in Scottsdale when an audience member suffers a stroke. The club owner tries to “kill time” by doing crowd work as an ambulance is called, which the group finds both horrifying and darkly funny.
- "Howard's like, I'll kill some time. Dude, you gotta just let him have a stroke." (06:26)
The Moral Dilemma: The comedians reflect on the challenge of “continuing after” and the truth that sometimes you’ve just got to halt the show and care for people.

2. Comedy Scene Evolution: From Gritty NY to Social Media

The Bill Hicks Crowd: Pete talks about the early days in New York, where aspiring comics would push boundaries just for shock value, often resulting in tense rooms and audience exodus.
- "Her closer was about Jesus having anal sex. ...I thought it was me and Bargazzi waiting to go up after two and a half hours of really hard stuff." (04:34)
Edgy Versus Clean: Mark and Pete reflect on “clean” comics being often underestimated, and how some crowds demand “dirtier” punchlines.
- "You think I'm like, what do you think this is? ...I'm not saying [the c-word] because it's funnier to watch you say it in your mind." (05:24)
Shift to Clips & Individualism: The rise of online clips changes the culture—comedians now chase viral moments, which can disrupt the classic “comedy family” feeling.
- "You're going out to get the clip, to get paid...But I do miss that camaraderie, because comedy is the closest thing I have to, like, a heritage and a culture." (39:04)
Lamenting the Loss of Community: Mark and Sam remember alt-scene clubs and bar shows as formative, while Pete notes things are more fragmented now.

3. Comedic Process: Jokes That Don’t Work—Until They Do!

‘B-Side’ Bits: The hosts dissect jokes that bomb in clubs but become favorites in specials or online—often, a comic’s truest gems are missed in a standard set.
- Pete: "The bits that don't work, but you believe they're great—do them on your special, because they're your crowd." (58:41)
- Sam: "You're easing towards it in the set...and you're like, this isn't gonna fucking hit." (58:46)
The Power of Delivery: Louie CK’s success is discussed—sometimes a line only crushes when delivered the “wrong” way, or almost as an afterthought.
- "He was delivering it more like a punchline and it wasn’t hitting. ...He just says it kind of under his breath more casually. And it’s killing.” (53:24, Sam)
Support for Each Other's Bits: The panel encourages each other to resurrect underappreciated material, recognizing that loyalty to a joke can eventually give payoff with the right audience.

4. Comedy Royalty: Seinfeld, Burr, and Inspirations

Meeting Seinfeld: Pete and Mark recount awkward encounters with Jerry Seinfeld, both eager and cringey. Pete tells how he geeked out and complimented Jerry, while Mark got brushed aside for quoting Seinfeld at him.
- "Are you master of your domain?" He just turned around and walked away." (15:13, Mark)
Celebrity Interactions: They muse on how to act cool around big names, with Pete likening it to choosing between a “fun” peak experience and a slow, real friendship.
- "It's a hot chick moment.” (14:26, Sam)

5. Joke Dissection: Favorite Old Bits & Comedy Mathematics

Classic Joke Sharings: The group swaps favorite bits from their own material and others, analyzing what makes them work, why some never catch, and why some only work with time.
- Mark: "Puerto Rico won." (44:28)
- Pete: "'You ever see a kid so fat he looks like he has a job?' ...That’s a perfect joke.” (43:51)
Recycling from Friends & Life:
- They discuss using jokes or labels that others gave them.
  - Pete: "Josh Lieb… said to me, ‘Pete, you look like… this is the only universe where you’re not a youth pastor.' … Became my most reliable [bit].” (72:14)
- Embracing feedback from respected friends, even if it stings.
Scene Structure: They reference influences like Dov Davidoff for anchoring in the crowd, Mitch Hedberg and Steven Wright for approach, and Carlin for writing “brain droppings”.

6. The Vulnerabilities and Addictions of Comics

Comic Addicts, Extremes, and Ice Baths: Pete opens up about the “addict brain”—seeking extreme solutions, not moderation, whether in carnivore diets or ice plunges.
- "I'm a real addict. So I'm chasing those like sober highs... I love the ice." (08:42, Pete)
Being Sober(ish): Pete identifies as “not drinking” but still smokes and does psychedelics, exploring the comic-industrial chase for new highs.

7. Sex, Porn & The Oddities of American States

Porn in Repressed States: Riffing on moralistic states’ bans, the crew jokes about religious conventions and hypocrisy, leading into a fun analysis of a porn-by-state map.
- "The protest too much thing...The guy that’s the most homophobic, he’s gay. The guy that’s like, 'make porn illegal'… his search words are hard." (20:05, Pete)
- "Texas is into lesbian...Hentai in Nebraska...This chart is all come challenge." (23:15+)

8. Opening & Opener Bits

On Impressions, Self-Deprecation, and Identity:
- Pete explores how embracing “what people tell you you are” can be comedic gold (fun dad, lesbian Val Kilmer, youth pastor).
- "If someone you respect makes fun of you, write it down." (71:02, Pete)

9. Honesty in Comedy

On Going All-In: The best comics don’t just “go to the line,” but go through the door—admitting uncomfortable truths, as Louie and others do.
- "Louie will always be like – 'cause I’m lonely and horny and scared.'... It’s incredibly vulnerable." (52:52, Pete)
On Accusations & Joke Ownership: The problems with fans accusing comics of joke theft and the impossibility of “owning” a premise.
- “I got accused of doing a Mulaney bit because I have a bit about the captcha test and Mulaney has a bit about the captcha test. …Chests exist.” (85:04, Pete)

10. Wisdom from Legends

On Fame, Validation, and Letting Go: The group discusses advice from Maya Angelou & Seinfeld about not believing the praise or the hate.
- "Don’t pick it up, don’t lay it down." (85:55+)
- "Comedy – you’re going to get the most venom… and the most compliments, and they’re all lies." (88:37)
On Career Consistency:
- Pete shares Conan’s advice, via Kieran Culkin's acting journey: stick with your “triangle” and, over time, you’ll cut through the noise.
- "[Conan said] Kieran is like… I just kept hitting the same triangle. And because of its consistency, you start to emerge through all the noise." (94:10)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

"You book home till you get a clip." — Mark Normand & Pete Holmes, (02:46)
"You can't just take it off. [Bob Marley’s toe] It spread too quickly." — Sam Morril (11:19)
"The bits that don't work, but you believe they're great—do them on your special..." — Pete Holmes (58:41)
"If someone you respect makes fun of you, write it down." — Pete Holmes (71:02)
"You ever see a kid so fat he looks like he has a job?" — (unattributed old open mic bit, 43:51, Pete recounting)
"Are you master of your domain?" He just turned around and walked away." — Mark Normand’s Seinfeld story (15:13)
"It’s almost like ADD, at least a touch of it, is really helpful in this [job]." — Sam Morril (87:21)

Comedy Culture & Community—Where Are We Now?

The New York grind and "Cellar" culture: Hanging out with comics from mixed generations, sharing bits, and learning from seniors is becoming lost in the era of online content and personal branding.
Trend toward isolation and “getting clips”: A double-edged sword—possible for comics to blow up before they’re ready, but also a democratizing force.
Retaining a sense of culture, oral tradition, and belonging: The group values the "oral tradition" of passing down bits, tagging jokes, and shaping each other.

Under-the-Radar Segments / Insights

On “Crowd Work” and Riffing: Pete describes sprinkling interaction with the crowd to keep himself (and the show) fresh, not just “phoning in” the act. (31:30+)
On Family at Shows: All agree it’s weird, often stressful, and awkward when family attends, especially mothers. Sam’s mom asking for “25 comps” at Carnegie Hall gets laughs (79:09).
On Jokes Cut for Sensibility: Pete talks about bits (like the pedophile jokes) that he’s cut for being too dark despite loving them.

Timestamps for Essential Segments

00:06 – Opening (onstage panic, medical emergencies)
02:46 – “You book home till you get a clip” & community care at shows
04:34 – New York alt scene & Bill Hicks influence
06:26 – Sam’s stroke show story
14:26 & 15:13 – Meeting Seinfeld, awkward moments
20:05 – Porn hypocrisy and the “protest too much” theme
31:30 & 32:00 – How and why Pete does certain crowd work
39:04 – "Rise of the Clip" culture & loss of comedy camaraderie
43:51 – Pete’s favorite “perfect open mic joke”
58:41 – “Do your best bits that bomb in clubs on your special” advice
79:09 – Sam’s mom and Carnegie Hall
85:55 – Maya Angelou’s “Don’t pick it up, don’t lay it down” wisdom
88:37 – Seinfeld’s “all lies” perspective on compliments and hate
94:10 – Conan’s triangle noise theory about cutting through the world’s chaos

Final Thoughts & Plugs

Pete Holmes plugs his podcast, monthly Largo show, and upcoming tour dates (Milwaukee, Brea, San Francisco, Miami, Madison, Denver, North/South Carolina).
Mark Normand is headed to various clubs for a new hour: Kansas City, Des Moines, Vegas, San Antonio, Tulsa, and more.
Sam Morril celebrates Carnegie Hall and previews his next special in Tampa.

The trio toast the value of staying “real” in comedy, commiserate about creative struggles, and revel in the oral history of stand-up. They wrap on advice about ego and consistency: Don’t believe the hype, or the hate, and keep banging your triangle.

Useful for listeners and comics alike, this episode is a blend of hilarious anecdotes, hard-learned career truths, and a celebration of comedy as both art and “family.”

wavePod

Ep 260: Pete Holmes