Ep 261: Sam Morril and Mark Normand

Summary

We Might Be Drunk – Ep 261: Sam Morril and Mark Normand

Release Date: December 8, 2025
Hosts: Sam Morril, Mark Normand
Episode Theme:
A classic, booze-fueled hang with Sam and Mark—a “solo ep” revisiting the agony and ecstasy of performing comedy in weird places, tales from the road, festival war stories, their everyday peeves, pop culture hot takes, and riff-heavy camaraderie. The episode is a deep dive into the social and psychological hazards of doing stand-up for unexpected audiences, the wild side of comedy fest living, and the simple pleasures and annoyances of a comic’s daily life.

---

Main Discussion Themes & Segments

1. Sam's Bomb at the Gold Glove Dinner

[01:05-08:00]

• Setting: Sam retells bombing spectacularly at the ultra-fancy Rawlings Gold Glove baseball award dinner at the Plaza Hotel.
• Key Details:
  • “Sometimes you bomb in front of one of your heroes. You don't think about that when you get into this.” – Sam [01:05]
  • The gig was “gonna be great,” but Sam knew those are “the worst ones.”
  • He wrote eight minutes of bespoke baseball jokes (Cuomo/joke about the Rockies/Clayton Kershaw/Costas), which did well, but after ten minutes, the baseball crowd checked out once he shifted to his regular act.
  • Riff on the pain of hearing “ugh” after a dick joke: “I did a dick joke, and I just heard a woman go, no. I was like, that's not the sound I was going for.” – Sam [05:28]
  • Required to do 30 minutes: “They did not want to hear me do 30.” – Sam [05:53]
  • Aftermath: Got drunk at the Plaza Manhattan bar with his agent. “Sometimes you bomb and you're like, alcohol will help.” – Sam [10:37]
  • Keith Robinson jokes at his expense (“read the fucking room”)—comics always hear when you eat shit. [07:01]

2. Bombing at Private & Corporate Gigs

[08:10-10:50], [46:13-50:00]

• Mark and Sam swap horror stories about poorly mismatched bookings and audience culture clash:
  • Mark’s Jewish gig joke disaster: “Boy, we’re so high up. I feel like Anne Frank.” – Mark [09:04]
  • “I have a Muslim bit...and then the mic went out and I went, ‘Oh, man, how ironic—the Muslim joke didn’t work here. You guys really do run shit.’ Applause break. And then I went back to bombing.” – Mark [09:37]
  • The agony of long stage times in bad rooms, and hosts booking acts they don’t really want
  • “Stop hiring comedians you don’t know about. If you’re gonna get a Gilbert Godfrey, he’s gonna say fucked up shit, you know?” – Mark [47:31]
  • Mark’s tuxedo gig in Philly: “I got fired after the opening...they were like, we’re gonna need the tuxedo, and you gotta get out of here naked.” – Mark [47:12]

3. Coping With Bombs and Hangovers

[10:10-12:24], [53:19-56:08]

• Drinking as therapy for rough sets; admiration for sober comics
  • “That’s why these sober people…I’m so impressed. Like you go through something and you just have to raw dog it.” – Sam [10:48]
  • Stories of late-night benders after tough gigs and how comics recover, or don’t
  • Festival-induced agony: “The best way to get through Skank Fest is I just drink the whole time...and then you have to do a set.” – Chris [10:57]
  • Both Sam and opener Gary Veder nearly have panic attacks on stage in Utah from over-caffeination/altitude: “We both had, like, near panic attacks on stage. I got off, I’m like, dude...I’m on stage, I’m just like, I can’t breathe.” – Sam [53:56]

4. Comedy Festival Life & Weird Gigs

[23:59-26:08], [80:07-82:44]

• Social mishaps, networking nightmares, losing voices, festival party chaos, crowd-surfing at Skank Fest
  • “At some point, I’m at those, I’m getting drunk and I’m realizing I’m losing my voice. Oh, hell yeah. Because the music's on and everything.” – Sam [23:50]
  • “The airport was just riddled with comedians and everyone’s hung over, everyone’s miserable. And you realize, like, no one wants to talk to each other at the fest.” – Mark [24:11]
  • Skank Fest New Orleans: boxing matches, comedy jams, comics crowd-surfing, and tales of rockstar-level camaraderie.
  • “Just seeing Attell and Stanhope interact, you know, it’s fun.” – Chris [82:15]

5. Peeves and Petty Grievances

[12:42-14:01], [28:12-32:00]

• Morning flight times and people downplaying early departures: “That is bad because you gotta get there at 10, which means you gotta leave at 9. And I’ve been drinking till 4, so 9am isn’t late.” – Chris [13:09]
• Live jazz brunches and jazz in the morning: “No drums at breakfast.” – Sam [13:44]
• Slow eaters on the road: “Literally, like, what, are we filming a scene here?” – Sam [28:59]
• Chipotle peeves: staff putting sour cream without asking, customers getting pushy, unspoken gross-out at food handling
• “Still working on this”—annoying restaurant phrase
• Mayo scraped off burgers and condiment pet peeves: “If there’s, like, a special sauce that comes on it, that’s one thing. But just putting, like, ketchup or mayo on before is a fucking weird move.” – Sam [32:12]

6. Food, Bars, & Old New York Stories

[33:34-36:35]

• Dollar pizza memories (“You’re kind of like, what’s the catch? And then 30 minutes later, you’re like, oh yeah, I have to live with this inside me.” – Sam [33:56])
• Cash-only bars, comic strip lore, mugger money stories, and how digital is safer.
• Shoutouts to legendary NYC spots: Rudy’s Bar & Grill, Corner Bistro.

7. Threesome & Wild Hookup Tales

[15:29-18:23]

• Utah madness, rebellion against Mormon culture, and the sexual wildness of red state college towns
  • “It’s either Cub Scout or porn star.” – Sam [15:23]
  • Mark’s first (of a few) threesomes described as “she was an older broad, real, real saggy catcher’s mitt” [16:06-16:48]
  • Sam’s aspirations: “This is kind of the last phase of my life, I could probably pull that off. This is Sammy’s threesome year.” [18:36-18:45]
  • Bawdy tongue-in-butt stories—true to podcast form.

8. Comedy Recommendations & Pop Culture Hot Takes

[26:16-36:10], [56:08-61:32], [76:42-77:16]

• Movie recommendations:
  • Nebraska (Alexander Payne) – “Phenomenal. It’s black and white. It’s weird. It’s Bruce Dern, Will Forte…Loved it.” – Sam [26:29-26:56]
  • Alexander Payne’s other movies—Election, Sideways, The Descendants, About Schmidt
  • “Kathy Bates…now we’re talking. She’s awesome.” – Sam [27:30-28:01]
• David Lynch as a filmmaker:
  • “Don’t love it. I respect it, okay, but I don’t…like, Mulholland Drive’s a masterpiece, I think. But…Twin Peaks, I feel like every character is like, hey buddy, pal.” – Sam [56:21-56:31]
  • “Tim Burton is a weirdo, but it works sometimes.” – Chris [57:12]
  • Childhood forced to watch artsy movies by their moms; respect for old comedies—Marx Brothers, Laurel & Hardy.

9. Comic Inspirations and Discoveries

[68:00-74:13]

• Mitch Hedberg appreciation—unique delivery, simple but deep observational humor, and early-career footage.
  • “The delivery is like definitely…like when you hear Early Dangerfield and he didn’t have the rhythm yet.” – Sam [71:53]
  • Passing the torch, Chappelle crediting Tony Woods.

10. Technology & AI Gags

[76:22-79:09]

• AI as comedy content: MLK as a wrestling heel
  • “Want to know the truth? I ain’t got no dreams no more. I am the dream.” (AI MLK audio) [77:29]
  • “AI is going to take us over and kill us. But it’s funny.” – Sam [78:00]
  • Instagram catfishing, AI-generated content, fake videos—tricks and existential threats wrapped in comedy.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Bombing in front of Don Mattingly:
  “Sometimes you bomb in front of one of your heroes. That's part of—you don't think about that when you get into this.” – Sam [01:05]

• Comedy for the wrong crowd:
  “Read the booking sheet. You can't just book all these people and then go, oh, it wasn't exactly curated to my standards.” – Chris [07:38]

• Why no one wants 30 minutes at a gala:
  “If you're watching the Oscars, they're not doing 30. Yeah, of course, doing like five or 10. That's what it should be.” – Sam [07:56]

• On festival hangovers and socializing:
  “Everyone's hung over, everyone's miserable. And you realize, like, no one wants to talk to each other at the fest.” – Mark [24:11]

• On the perils of Chipotle:
  “They're so autopilot that they're like, they think they can predict your order…I'm like, I never said sour. She put the sour on, so now we got to make a new bowl.” – Chris [31:07]

• On AI’s danger and entertainment quotient:
  “AI is going to take us over and kill us. But it’s funny. That's no other thing that's going to, like, this existential threat has been hilarious.” – Sam [78:00]

• Sam’s hot take on Lynch:
  “I respect it. Okay, but I don't…like, Mulholland Drive's a masterpiece, I think. But then like, Twin Peaks, I feel like every character is like, hey buddy, pal.” – Sam [56:21]

• On the artistic grind:
  “You don't have to suffer for what you do. But maybe a little ain't the worst.” – Sam [58:06]

---

Recommendations

• Movie: Nebraska by Alexander Payne [26:16]
• Books: Elmore Leonard’s 52 Pick-Up and Glitz [76:42]
• NYC Bar: Rudy’s Bar & Grill; Corner Bistro (“cash-only can get annoying though”) [35:00]
• Pizza Spot in Tulsa: Andolini’s (Marco Slice) [84:17]

---

Fun Sidebars and Recurring Bits

• Butt plug subway riff as cold open
• Catcher’s mitt/Johnny Bench analogies for “older broads” in threesomes
• Childhood artsy movie memories, Marx Brothers/Laurel & Hardy shoutouts
• Ongoing peeve section: live band at brunch, slow eaters, condiment mishaps
• AI content as a source of both laughs and existential dread
• “Threesome counter” running gag for Sam
• Some light poking at aging—“39: the perfect age for your mom or your girlfriend”

---

Timestamps – Key Segments

• Sam’s baseball dinner bomb: [01:05–08:00]
• Jewish gig / awkward private event jokes: [09:00–10:10]
• Coping with bombing (alcohol, agents, late-night recovery): [10:48–12:24]
• Festival hangover, airport interactions: [23:59–24:33]
• NYC bar lore & cash-only talk: [35:00–36:35]
• Utah stories & threesomes: [15:29–18:23]
• Pop culture segment (Payne/Lynch/Burton): [26:16–36:10], [56:08–61:32]
• Old Hedberg footage / comic inspirations: [68:00–74:13]
• AI wrestling heel MLK: [77:22–78:09]
• Skankfest and festival party madness: [80:07–82:44]

---

Overall Tone

Loose, boozy, confessional, irreverent, and unfiltered, with Sam and Mark sliding naturally from passionate comedy shop talk and self-deprecating war stories to riffs on food, New York, and the absurd perils of modern tech, all while keeping the banter flowing and the laughs coming.

---

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

If you want a window into the everyday grind, embarrassments, triumphs, and private headaches of two working headliner comics—plus some off-the-cuff pop culture analysis and food talk—this “solo ep” is peak We Might Be Drunk.
Expect:

• Candid honesty about professional failure
• The art/trauma of the bomb
• Raucous festival tales
• NYC lore
• Their uniquely specific, consistently funny complaints about daily life.
• Movie/book/restaurant recs you probably haven’t heard elsewhere

If you haven’t tuned in, you’ll come away feeling like you’re at the bar with these guys yourself.

Transcript

[Sam Morril]

Did he really just. Butt plugs. I'm getting a lot of butt plugs.

[Mark Normand]

Stuff on my algo.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

No, not.

[Mark Normand]

I like people inserting them on the subway.

[Chris D'Elia]

What?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. It's really weird.

[Sam Morril]

Butt plugs.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Who's inserting a butt plug on the subway?

[Chris D'Elia]

Like, ladies, you tell us.

[Sam Morril]

It's on the 2 train.

All right. All right. And we're off to the races, guys. Good to be back. A solo app, which I'm kind of pumped for.

[Chris D'Elia]

Dude, it's about to time. We got a lot to talk about.

[Sam Morril]

It's been a minute. I mean, not really we talk, but.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's true. But I. I was one of these. You were in Utah. We did a Knicks game. You bombed at a Mr. Baseball.

[Sam Morril]

That hurt, dude. That was. That was. It is. You have ever those cartoon bombs where you just start sweating. It's insane. It's like your body's having a reaction.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, it's.

[Sam Morril]

It was awful. It was. I felt bad.

[Chris D'Elia]

Your body's going through fight or flight. You don't even realize it. You know, I get the back sweat, Your mouth gets dry. You kind of start stammering, but you walk in.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. There we go with Donnie Baseball himself, Don Mattingly, I just posted. Yeah. Sometimes you bomb in front of one of your heroes. That's part of. You don't think about that. When you get into this, you're like, I'm. It's going to work out. You don't think like, someday a guy who got me into baseball will see me fail at what I love.

[Chris D'Elia]

Damn.

[Mark Normand]

Well, he never won a ring, so you saw him.

[Sam Morril]

But he was. He was a great. It's not his fault. He was a great player. I love Donnie Baseball.

[Chris D'Elia]

Did he pat you on the butt after, like.

[Sam Morril]

No, he was. I think he was nice because he was. Probably felt horrible for me, you know, what happened was. So I'm basically doing stand up at this Gold Glove recipient's dinner. It's a really nice gig. It's at the Plaza Hotel, which I realized I don't think I'd ever been inside a lifelong New Yorker. And I was like, I don't think I've been inside here. It's gorgeous. It's one of those gigs where they're being like, it's gonna be great. They say it so many times. You're like, oh, I'm gonna bomb.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

When they start saying how great it is. And then they let slip that another guy had done the gig and done so poorly that he didn't get paid.

[Chris D'Elia]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

He had to give the money back. So he did so bad. So this is the first thing I hear. Then they say, another legend. Who. I'm not gonna say either of their names. I'll tell you off air.

[Chris D'Elia]

Daryl Strawberry.

[Sam Morril]

No, he still got paid. No, but they have another guy who they said basically got chased off stage. It was like a whole thing. And I'm like, okay, I'm hearing. This is great. So far, I've heard two tough stories here.

[Chris D'Elia]

Y.

[Sam Morril]

But the guy running it was super. They were all so nice, and they're all giving all these gifts. It's Rawlings. All these nice. Like, here's a leather bag from the material that we make our gloves from. And I was like, damn. I played with a Rawlings glove as a kid.

[Chris D'Elia]

This is pretty cool.

[Sam Morril]

And I walk in, I'm like. You know, I'm like, dave Winfield, legend. All these great. Johnny Bench. Who is there? Got some award, dude. Best Johnny Bench story. I don't know if you've heard this story. Great baseball player Mickey Mantle goes up to him at this thing, goes, hey, let's go across the street and have a drink at the Marriott. And Johnny Bench is like, my hero. Mickey Mantle wants to drink with me. Oh, my God. So he takes him across the street, and as they try to walk in, the bouncer goes, I can't let you back in, Mickey.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, that's great.

[Sam Morril]

He was using him to. He was using him to try to get back in the bar because he got kicked out.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Sam Morril]

So I'm at this.

[Chris D'Elia]

Did the guy go, you're out of here.

[Sam Morril]

So I'm at this event, and it's like, you know, it's the Plaza. It's super nice.

[Chris D'Elia]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

I even wrote a bunch of baseball jokes. I was like, I'm gonna write jokes. I'm gonna come prepared. I wrote, like, a good eight minutes or so of baseball jokes.

[Mark Normand]

Give us anyone? Best one, Worst one, Anyone?

[Sam Morril]

I'll give you a few. Yeah. I opened this hit. I opened by saying, this is the Gold Glove dinner. We award the people with the nastiest hands. Unfortunately, Andrew Cuomo couldn't be here tonight. Big pop out of the gate. Then I said, I had a bunch. I had a bunch that did well. I said, the Los Angeles Dodgers. Congrats to the Dodgers. You guys won the World Series. What an inspiring story. The team with the most money won. It's like a metaphor for America. If you're rich, you'll be all right. Unfortunately, the rest of Us are kind of like the Colorado Rockies, high and not doing well. Hey, that got a big pile. I had a few like those. Yeah, I wrote these all the day of. I was like, I'm feeling good. I went about Clayton Kershaw having, like, a fat gut and still striking, dude. I'm like, you're getting fanned by a guy who looks like fucking Paul Giamatti without his shirt on. I had all these jokes. I'm like, all right. I look in the crowd, I see Bob Costas, like, toasting a glass. I'm like, holy shit. Broadcasting legend Bob Costas. Love Costas the Greek. And I'm like, I'm killing. I'm gonna fucking kill. And by the way, it was a weird setup. I'm going on right after some, like, Rockette dancers and Joe Piscopo.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, my God.

[Sam Morril]

And Pisco could not have been cooler. Super nice. SNL. Joe Pisco of the 80s.

[Chris D'Elia]

This is like a fever dream.

[Sam Morril]

It's crazy. So, yeah, I'm doing a bunch of baseball jokes. They all are hitting. I do a bunch of jokes about. I can't remember a bunch of the rest of them, but they were all kind of hitting. I was like, wow, I'm kind of locked in. This is pretty good. And then it gets to a point where I'm like, well, I'm out of baseball jokes. I guess I kind of just have to do my act.

[Chris D'Elia]

But you think you'd buy some goodwill with these? You wrote jokes for the event? They're hitting. You should be in the zone.

[Sam Morril]

They're hitting. And, dude, holy shit. I don't know how I lost him that hard. I did. I'm like, what are my jokes that hit the hardest? I'm thinking, like, specials, and I'm like, any thing off limits or, like, nothing? I did a dick joke, and I just heard a woman go, no. I was like, that's not the sound I was going for.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, that's what you want to hear when you whip it out?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. No, because it was. It was an ugh of disgust.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, that's not good. It wasn't good.

[Sam Morril]

Dude. It was terrible. So I go from, like, killing to just silence. And it's one of those weird gigs where I'm like, this is like a gala dinner with awards. They don't want to hear a comic for more than 10 minutes. So if it was just 10 minutes, I would have crushed.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's true.

[Sam Morril]

But they're like, you gotta do 30. They did not want to hear me do 30.

[Chris D'Elia]

They never want 30 it was bad, dude.

[Sam Morril]

And I had an agent there and she. She tried to leave. I go, where do you think you're going? I was like, you're watching me get drunk. I'm not doing this alone. So we start ordering rounds. I'm like, keep them coming.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And it was one of those tough things where, like, they were, I think, disappointed with how it went, but they also were like, what?

[Chris D'Elia]

He didn't.

[Sam Morril]

He did his act. We hired him to do his act. A lot of the jokes hit. I think they were just shocked it went so south.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. You're the new Trevor Bauer. You've been disgraced. You're kicked out of the league. Oh, wow, that sucks.

[Mark Normand]

Brought to you by the same people that talk like this. This is George Brett talking about shitting his pants. Have you ever seen this?

[Chris D'Elia]

Let's see.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but. But I don't think the players were the problem. I think it's like, the players. Why, of course. I mean, I think that was the issue. I had to go to the bathroom so bad in the car. I'm going travel.

[Chris D'Elia]

Hurry up, man.

[Sam Morril]

I got a.

George Brett was a man, dude. I wouldn't do.

[Chris D'Elia]

If you're gonna get caught a hot mic. This is what you want. You know, he could have had a slur in there or something.

[Sam Morril]

I'm good twice a year for that, dude. So anyway.

I'm at. I'm at the Cellar and Keith Robinson walks up to me and he goes, I heard you bomb this dinner. And I said, oh, what happened? He goes, a friend of mine called me and she goes, do you know Sam Morrell? And Keith goes, yeah. And she goes, read the fucking room. Do you remember where you lost. Keith was dying laughing.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, that's great.

[Mark Normand]

Remember where you lost them?

[Sam Morril]

No, it was a fun. Because I was a little up and down for a while and then I just kind of lost him. Like, I. I kind of bridged in a stand up. I did that rain delay baseball joke and that killed.

[Chris D'Elia]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

And I kind of had a few good jokes in there. I had a few others that just hit and then it just kind of fizzled out. But it's.

[Chris D'Elia]

Well, you know what? Read the room. Let me blow. Defend a friend here. Read the booking sheet. Like a. Look at his website. Look at a bit of his, you know, like, you can't just book all these people and then go, oh, it wasn't exactly perfectly curated to my. My standards.

[Sam Morril]

Like third 30 minutes is too long.

[Chris D'Elia]

I agree.

[Sam Morril]

Like at that type of thing, they picture any award show you watch. If you're watching the Oscars, they're not doing 30. Yeah, of course, doing like five or 10. That's what it should be.

[Chris D'Elia]

And they hit the wrap up music, you know, because they know everybody's like, keep it moving.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

I did a gig. I don't want to say it was a Jewish gig. And I'm the only one to say.

[Sam Morril]

But you just told us.

[Chris D'Elia]

Well, it was more than that. But I was the only non Jew there by a mile.

[Sam Morril]

Okay.

[Chris D'Elia]

I saw one black guy. We did this, you know, why is.

[Sam Morril]

He pointing at me?

[Chris D'Elia]

And there you go.

[Sam Morril]

The thing about the red hat that.

[Chris D'Elia]

Drove me to a point of exhaustion, which was misdiagnosed by. Hey, I'm not going to say what race, what people, doctor, what hospital and what media went to.

[Mark Normand]

We know.

[Sam Morril]

I can't say that it was a Jewish doctor.

[Chris D'Elia]

That was the black guy I pointed to. So.

[Sam Morril]

And by the way, that was. That was more restraint than we're used to seeing. Yeah, it took him 22 seconds to say the. Yeah, the Jew thing.

[Chris D'Elia]

He cleaned it up.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It took him a while to blame us.

[Chris D'Elia]

So of course I went too hard out of the gate. I'm the only non Jew there. I'm the goy. And I, we were up on this high thing doing a show. I go, boy, we're so high up. I feel like Anne Frank, you know? And they're like, boo. And I go, come on, I took a train here, you know? And they're like, you. And then I do my act. They hate me. They hate me. At one point, I have a Muslim bit that I'm. This bit hits. So I'm like, I want to do the Muslim bit in the Jew room. This is gonna crush. And the joke started working and then the mic went out, it went. And then it came back on and I went, oh, man, how ironic. The Muslim joke didn't work here. You guys really do run. Shit. Applause break.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Chris D'Elia]

And then I went back to bombing.

[Sam Morril]

It is funny when you get him first and it's like complete pander.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

It's like complete. And it's like, I've done it. Yeah, I was doing it. I did that. All the. You have to do it. Like a round applause. This guy's here zing him like, whatever. And I got a couple of those off. But then it was like, oh, man.

[Chris D'Elia]

30 minutes is crazy. You know, it's like fighting like a pro fighter. You're like, if I last seven minutes, this is great.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. No, I was like, it was one of those that we were like, you're a little shaken after you're like that. Oh yeah, that's rough. They make a great Manhattan at the Plaza though. I had a few of them. I was downing them. Yeah. And then the agent and I, we end up at a bar. She's just watching me get shit faced. Yeah. And met Ruby and Scott Rogowski hit the town late night.

[Chris D'Elia]

All right, good.

[Sam Morril]

Ruby in his fedora.

We just got lit. I was like, I just need to get. It's one of those gigs. Sometimes you're like, you bomb and you're like, alcohol will help.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It is a good short term solution.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Like, look, if I do that every night. You're not gonna bomb every night. But you have a hard bomb. You get lit up sometimes you're like, ah, thank God for alcohol.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know, I know. That's why these sober people. I'm so impressed. Like you go through something and you just have to raw dog it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's impressive.

[Sam Morril]

You have to feel pain.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Like I was at skank fest and the. The best way to get through Skank fest is I just drink the whole time. You know, you wake up, you have a bloody Mary, then you just keep going. And then by six you're like, whoa. And then you have to do a set.

[Sam Morril]

But how was that set?

[Chris D'Elia]

It was a little wonky, but much like the baseball thing. Oh, I'm so blow. You can see my. The bloated face. That's me doing a white power.

[Sam Morril]

You look pretty defeated here.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh yeah, I'm hurting. But you got a social as Greg Fitzsimmons. I don't know who that guy. I think that's Bart Coleman. He used to book at midnight back the old.

[Sam Morril]

Used to book. Was it Ferguson or.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, one of those. One of those. But that's a good pick. He did it sober the whole way and it's very impressive. That's his life as Rachel in the back on the left. But yeah, it was a wild time. But I drank the whole time and I'm still hurt. It was two days ago and I can still feel it. Like I'm still not there.

[Sam Morril]

So I hate that. What's also the travel dude. We're getting older. Like, you know, I'm in Utah weekend. You have a few drinks. I had one. So I did five shows. I feel like you do a five show club weekend. One will be bad.

[Chris D'Elia]

Of course.

[Sam Morril]

Usually good. The Saturday late shows sucked. They just saw.

[Chris D'Elia]

They drank.

[Sam Morril]

The Saturday late show has. Has swapped with The Friday Late Show. Usually the Friday Late show is a bad one. Now it's like, no, they were fucking dumb.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I was just like, wow. They were really veto. Hated them. I was like, I could tell my. They're not.

[Chris D'Elia]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

They're not giving it up.

[Chris D'Elia]

Damn.

[Sam Morril]

When they're not getting the dry guy.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I'm like, shit. All right. But yeah. Just immediately went back to my hotel, started just pounding fucking martinis. I was like, let me just get.

[Chris D'Elia]

Lit up at the hotel bar. Yeah, nice.

[Sam Morril]

Made Veder sit there. He doesn't drink. I'm like, get a shrimp cocktail. He's like, all right.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Well, this goes right into my peeve. Yeah, this is my fucking peeve, is everybody goes, you know, it's the last night of Skankfest or whatever. Whatever you're doing. Everybody goes, what time's your flight? What time's your flight? And my flight was at 11 or something.

[Sam Morril]

So everybody goes, oh, I think you can go hard.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. They go, that's not bad. That's not bad. I hate that. That is bad because you got to get there at 10, which means you got to leave at 9. And I've been drinking till 4, so 9am isn't late, you know, they go, oh, 11, that's not bad. No, no, 9 at night isn't bad. 11 still sucks because it's still morning.

[Sam Morril]

I got another peeve for you for a morning peeve. At my hotel they do like a brunch thing and they have a little. I guess on Sundays it's a buffet. For the other days it was just regular, but for Sundays, a live band at a brunch annoys the shit.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, I'm with you.

[Sam Morril]

It's too early.

[Chris D'Elia]

I'm with you.

[Sam Morril]

You want to take it Even worse. Jazz band, which I'm fine with. I love jazz. Normally if it's a little later, jazz band with drums. No drums at breakfast.

[Chris D'Elia]

We're all drinking.

[Sam Morril]

I'm hungover.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

I don't want to hear a fucking beat. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Get out of here. I don't need Buddy Rich. I got. He's in my head already. It's pounding, dude.

[Sam Morril]

I was. I was hurting. Yeah, it just sucked.

That's a P for sure.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's a good one. And. And we have a thing in New Orleans, this jazz brunch. It's the ultimate jazz brunch at Commander's Palace. But they. They walk around and it's a guy with a stand up bass and a clarinet, and that's it.

[Sam Morril]

It's Also, if you're known for it, I feel like it could work.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know what you're walking into, But I didn't know what I was walking into.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's.

[Sam Morril]

And you can't walk anywhere in Salt Lake City, dude. That downt fucking Portland meth sits walking dead over there, dude. It is bad. It's. It's sad.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's wild.

[Sam Morril]

You never hear any politicians being like, I'm gonna run on really helping these people. They're just, like, forgotten.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

The poor. They talk about, like, what about that person who's fucking. What's the plan for this? We just let these. These pharmaceutical companies and these sacklers and whatever ruin the country. It's crazy.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know. And they're all out there.

[Sam Morril]

That's a human. It's fucking awful.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's crazy. That's why they're all that one area by the club and they were.

[Sam Morril]

By the way, there's. You. Don't you want to do a lot? I'm a walker. I like downtown. Wherever I go, I like to just take walks. And we walked a few blocks and we were like, we shouldn't. We shouldn't walk.

[Chris D'Elia]

Damn, it's bad. That sucks. Yeah, man. I would go to Bring Them Young and just walk around. Well, that's not. That doesn't look great either.

[Sam Morril]

Bring Them Young.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You say to your show, bring Them Young.

[Chris D'Elia]

Exactly.

But, yeah, that's a beautiful campus. But you realize how serious the Mormon shit is when you go to Utah. You're like, oh, wow, you guys take this seriously.

[Sam Morril]

Or they're like the biggest alcoholics you've ever met.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

There's no middle ground. They're either deeply religious or they're so rebelling against it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Had my first threesome in Utah because they're just like. It's like you said, it's either Cub Scout or porn star.

[Sam Morril]

You say first threesome. You had multiple threesomes?

[Chris D'Elia]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

I bet he's had multiple threesomes in Utah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, that's.

[Sam Morril]

How many threesomes are we talking?

[Chris D'Elia]

Three.

[Sam Morril]

That's pretty good.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Well, college was wild.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But Utah, what happened there?

[Chris D'Elia]

I.

[Sam Morril]

How old were you?

[Chris D'Elia]

This is 2013.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. Young comic. Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. A pretty good set.

[Sam Morril]

Playing wise guys, doing the meet and greet.

[Chris D'Elia]

And meet and greet.

[Sam Morril]

That's how it happened.

[Chris D'Elia]

She was an older broad, real, real saggy catcher's mitt. She'd seen a few win, and I said, she goes, hey, we loved you. I'm here with my friend, and I did a photo and I go, hey, we should go out. And they were like, sure, let's go out. And we went out and then.

[Sam Morril]

So you disappointed a catcher's mitt too.

So, Johnny Bench.

[Chris D'Elia]

Her name was Rawling. No. Yeah, we. We. Yeah, we went back to her hotel. Yeah, that was it. But they were. They were up there. I'm talking how old? I'm talking each. I was what, 31 or something? And they were probably 48.

[Sam Morril]

That's not bad.

[Chris D'Elia]

No, I'm not complaining.

[Sam Morril]

That's kind of like, cool, because it's more like, you know, crazy.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. And you know, I finished in seven seconds because I got two. Two grandmas here, and I'm killing these grandmas. Like. Like Cuomo and Golden Gloves.

[Sam Morril]

How about the Golden Girls?

[Chris D'Elia]

So I finished in six seconds. But then they go at each other and you could just sit there and go, like, friends.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

There's a Utah horse.

[Sam Morril]

Can you imagine? Like, no dudes would ever.

We're double teaming a chick, we make her comment. I'm like, dude, we should. We should. We should each other.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's great.

Write that down. That's gold.

[Sam Morril]

I did something on the last episode too, I gotta get from you. We'll figure it out. We'll find it later.

[Chris D'Elia]

All right. Yeah. But, yeah. Wild night.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. God damn, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Threesome. And so we. Some minuta. I got in a little trouble because I. There was a woman who I did hook up with once there, and I told a story about her tongue in my old pooper on a Jim Norton's pod. And she was like, people from work sent me that, and I was like, what did name you? That was just a coincidence.

[Chris D'Elia]

You're like. You're like. That wasn't about you.

Different. Pooper liquor.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. The old Tongue in the Butt.

[Chris D'Elia]

Was that Utah? Yeah. Oh, that's funny because they can't drink coffee, but they'll eat ass. What are we doing here? I guess it's not in the book.

[Sam Morril]

Tongue in the Butt. If you're trying to get a guy jump started again for round two, you're like. You're like, wow. Boing right up. Right up there. Holy.

[Chris D'Elia]

And ironically, it tastes like a ninefold, but yeah.

[Sam Morril]

God damn.

[Chris D'Elia]

Tongue in the poop.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

You never done a three?

[Sam Morril]

I don't think I have.

[Chris D'Elia]

No. I'm like Caitlin Clark.

A lot of the three. I mean, I've only done it three times, but it's just asking. It's just like throwing it out there and.

[Sam Morril]

Right. I should. I should be doing that. I mean, this is Kind of the last phase of my life. I could probably pull that off.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's true. You better do it.

[Sam Morril]

Gotta make it happen.

[Chris D'Elia]

This is it.

[Sam Morril]

This is Sammy's threesome year.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Maybe next year.

[Sam Morril]

It's almost the end of the year.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's true.

[Sam Morril]

This Next, starting now, 12 months.

[Chris D'Elia]

12 months.

[Sam Morril]

12 months for a threesome.

[Chris D'Elia]

We should get a counter. Like a big, like how many days till an injury or whatever.

[Sam Morril]

I like it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Let's do it.

[Mark Normand]

Let's do it.

[Sam Morril]

I think I could pull it off.

[Chris D'Elia]

The day you come in, you got to buy some poppers and sparklers and confetti because when that thing flips, we're going to go ape shit.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude, I think. I think it could happen.

[Chris D'Elia]

Well, bring the girls.

[Sam Morril]

Believe in me.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, yeah. Just start throwing the world patriot. Yeah. Put out in the world. It'll happen.

[Sam Morril]

I always think of Jim Jeffries bit about how we have the threesome and the hot one left and the other one's like, I'll still do it. And he goes, you were kind of part of a package deal.

[Chris D'Elia]

A package deal. That's a good name for a gay bar. A package deal. Oh, wow. Jim's got. I would have done it. I mean, she's there.

[Sam Morril]

I know.

[Chris D'Elia]

How bad are we talking? Is the question.

[Sam Morril]

I guess that's the question.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It is tough. I mean, like, I don't know the road to. I'm at the age now where I'm like, do I want. I value sleep.

[Chris D'Elia]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

Like I'm thinking, Gary's going to want to get breakfast in the morning. And I'm like, how shitty do I want to feel right now?

[Chris D'Elia]

You gotta get rid of two ladies. That's a lot of work.

[Sam Morril]

It is. It's tough, man. But then sometimes you just go, fuck it. Gotta do it for the. Like. When we got hammered, you left on Wednesday with me. I got fucking bombed.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And we were both already pretty drunk.

[Chris D'Elia]

And I was hungover that morning, so. I don't know how you did it.

[Sam Morril]

I was dying.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

We were lit up at the Knicks game. They got crushed and.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Then we ended up at that stand. Holiday party.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Free booze.

[Sam Morril]

Those holiday parties are tricky because you find a cool corner. Sometimes you get cornered by people, you're like, I don't want to fucking hang with this person.

[Chris D'Elia]

And you know what? The worst thing this is another peeve. This happened at Skank Fest too. When the. You're trying to be nice and you're chit chatting with a rando that you don't really want to be talking to. And you got a fun guy right here. And you're like, how do I just get. And then they start doing this when they go, oh, by the way, I. I run this show out of a sewage plant in Poughkeepsie. And you're like, oh, yeah, Is that right? They're like, yeah, yeah. You should do my. Come up there. You'll do my podcast, then you can do the show at the sewage plant, and then you can sleep at my house. And you're like, oh, yes.

[Sam Morril]

It's gonna be the end of the episode. Mark's like, three shows at the sewage plant. We added a show. We sold out the first two.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know. And you're like, why are you asking me for things? I'm shitface. It's like hitting on a girl when she's passed out.

[Sam Morril]

Well, Rachel was telling me that someone was kind of talking and talking to me. Then they go like, man, you really don't want to be talking to me, do you? It's like, well, if you feel that, why would you?

[Chris D'Elia]

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Every time I'm talking one of those type of guys, I feel bad for women. I'm like, they have to do this all the time.

[Sam Morril]

Women. Yeah. Cuz like, hot chicks.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Or just any chick.

[Chris D'Elia]

Pretty much.

[Sam Morril]

Pretty much.

[Chris D'Elia]

Exactly.

[Sam Morril]

You just have to deal with like, hey, you.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know, I know. That's gotta be tough.

[Sam Morril]

Can't tap them. You got to just tap them. Some people, you see them tap. The women use you. The tap and the turnaround. You're like, oh, that's bad. Bold.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

Can't be doing the tap.

[Chris D'Elia]

You better have a great line when she turns around.

[Mark Normand]

I was at your stick or treat show.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

And comic that I knew a while back. She came up to me. She was totally dressed up. And then she was like, it's me. I was like, who are you? I was like, I could tell who the character they were.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And they're like, you don't know who I am? And I was like, no, at least.

[Sam Morril]

You have to know who I am.

[Chris D'Elia]

But you have the dress up. Excuse the costume.

[Sam Morril]

Totally.

[Mark Normand]

I was like, how long are we going to do this? I was like, this is more embarrassing for you than it is for me.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, good point.

[Mark Normand]

Just tell me who you are.

[Sam Morril]

Who was it? It was Liz.

[Mark Normand]

What's her name?

[Sam Morril]

Mile.

[Mark Normand]

No.

She played Amy Schumer.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah. Liz Glazer.

[Mark Normand]

Liz Glaser.

[Chris D'Elia]

But she lost a lot of weight, too. And she had A blonde wig on.

[Mark Normand]

And a giant blonde wig.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it is hard to tell. The costume thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, but you're right. Just get out with it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, man, I got fucking hammered on at that party. That was. That was a mess.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Yeah, that was wild.

[Sam Morril]

That was late, man.

[Chris D'Elia]

When did you get home? Because I got home at like one.

[Sam Morril]

I was so drunk. I remember on my walk home, I just started pissing on the street alone. That's rare that you're that drunk. Usually the pee on the street move is you have a friend to watch.

[Chris D'Elia]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

Not that. For cops. Just to watch me pee. I like that. And no, you have the guard. The guard person for. But I just found a block that was pretty dead. I was like, I'm. Fuck, I'm pissing.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I did that at the. On the train platform recently where I was so drunk, I was like, ah, it's a train platform and I peed in a corner and I look over and a woman was like, oh, geez, I'm that guy. I thought so. I was taking a piss. But you realize when you're sober, you see that guy, you're like, he's scary.

[Sam Morril]

It's also the best time for you to be recognized. You get recognized. It's like, you know, you see him. I ran to Mark Norman. What was he doing? Drunkenly pissing on a subway platform. Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Damn.

[Sam Morril]

All right.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's good branding for the pod. You might be drunk, dude.

[Sam Morril]

It's. Yeah, it was, it was. It got dicey. There was a lot of fun people, though.

[Chris D'Elia]

I had a lot of, yeah, it's fun. But at some point, I'm at those, I'm getting drunk and I'm realizing I'm losing my voice. I'm like, oh, hell yeah. Because the music's on and everything.

[Sam Morril]

That's the festival problem.

[Chris D'Elia]

Exactly.

[Sam Morril]

The voice.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Everybody at Skank Fest at the airport was just like, hey, dude. Yeah. What are you, JetBlue? Yeah, because we're all just screaming the whole.

[Sam Morril]

Do you have a lot of comics on the flight back?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, we were actually talking about this. The airport was just riddled with comedians and everyone's hung over, everyone's miserable. And you realize, like, everyone, no one wants to talk to each other at the fest. We're all high fiving. Because some of these people you're friends with, some of your people are like, oh, we're just both comics. We. We. We're acquaintances. So when you see an acquaintance in the airport after a festival, it's so awkward.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

And then I realized, how awkward would that Epstein flight be on the way home?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's a good bet.

[Chris D'Elia]

You know, like the private jets. It's got to be like, what's up, Hawking? Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

That post nut, right? The breakfast was good, huh.

[Sam Morril]

Dude? Yeah. Remember when we were in that airport in Orlando and I was just puking into the. In the bathroom?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Mark just. Mark saw me puking. And he. And he. He brings in a bottle of ginger ale that he just hands over the stall.

[Chris D'Elia]

I've been there, been the puking.

[Sam Morril]

Ginger ale does help.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah. I was at the airport with Bert KREISCHER. This is 2015 or something. I went on a European tour with Bert.

[Sam Morril]

That was the most ambitious thing you've ever done.

[Chris D'Elia]

It was insane.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know how you did that.

[Chris D'Elia]

I am surprised. I'm alive. I think I lost, like, two years of my life on that tour. Because the problem is, Bert drinks at the airport because he's scared of flying. That's why he's a bus guy. So I have to drink with him because I'm the opener. So you think, by the way, that's.

[Sam Morril]

The funniest reason to drink is because you're scared of dying?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Sam Morril]

Hammered. Because I'm scared I might die.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

This is not helping.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, no. There was one point I went to pee. We're on the flight. He was in first class. I was in the back, and I had to go pass him, and he had, like, six beer. Empty beer cans on his tray, and he was just like. I was like, wow, this guy's either having DTS or really scared of flying or both.

[Sam Morril]

It is so fun to drink on flights, though. That's the problem. Yeah, it's fun to just throw in a movie and just have a fucking few beers.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, it's nice of whiskeys.

[Sam Morril]

It's like. It's hard to beat that.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's great. It's great. And flying with him is fun because he's shirtless.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. TSA is quick for him. They're like, yeah, yeah, dude, I flew back. I'm watching. You ever see that? Here's a wreck. By the way, have you seen the movie Nebraska by Alexander Payne?

[Chris D'Elia]

You know what? I flip by it all the time and I have never watched it.

[Sam Morril]

Phenomenal.

[Chris D'Elia]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Did you not like it? It's incredible.

[Chris D'Elia]

Wow. Okay, I'll watch it.

[Sam Morril]

It's black and white. It's weird. It's Bruce Dern, Will Forte.

[Chris D'Elia]

He's great.

[Sam Morril]

He's great.

[Chris D'Elia]

He's always good.

[Sam Morril]

I love him. Gruber, dude, it's so fucking good. It's, like, weird and funny and then also, kind of, like, sad.

[Mark Normand]

Didn't it win something? I think he won best actor for this.

[Sam Morril]

Did he?

[Chris D'Elia]

Bruce. Oscar.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I think.

[Chris D'Elia]

Shit.

[Sam Morril]

It's great, man. I loved it.

[Chris D'Elia]

All right, I'll check it out. I've always wanted to, but you see the COVID and it looks so. It looks kind of heavy, like somebody probably dies immediately. I just couldn't do it.

[Sam Morril]

I would say it's pretty funny.

[Chris D'Elia]

Okay, great.

[Sam Morril]

I laughed a lot. It's a lot of weird dialogue and hilarious.

[Mark Normand]

He won a can and he was nominated for an Academy Award, dude.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's.

[Sam Morril]

It's awesome. I loved Alexander Payne is a fucking beast.

[Chris D'Elia]

So election is underrated, I think.

[Sam Morril]

Sideways.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, of course.

[Sam Morril]

Fucking. I like the Descendants with cloney.

[Chris D'Elia]

I like the over cheat. No overlords.

[Sam Morril]

Holdover.

[Chris D'Elia]

Holdover.

[Sam Morril]

I loved it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Love the whole.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, he did about Schmidt. I didn't even know that I even seen that, actually.

[Sam Morril]

Is that good?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Chris D'Elia]

Well, Naked Kathy Bates.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, now we're talking. Yeah, that was one of the women marked in that three.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, he's.

[Sam Morril]

He's a great filmmaker dude. It's, like, kind of underappreciated, you know?

[Chris D'Elia]

Agreed.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

I love. Oh, Jesus Christ Almighty.

[Sam Morril]

Holy.

[Chris D'Elia]

Good golly. Well, good for her for going for. That's brave. Everybody's like, oh, brave. That's brave.

[Mark Normand]

She's.

[Sam Morril]

She's awesome. She's the best.

[Chris D'Elia]

She's a great actor.

[Sam Morril]

One of the best.

[Chris D'Elia]

All right, well, now I'm in Misery.

No, good. Good for you, Kathy.

[Sam Morril]

I got. Do you got any peeves?

[Chris D'Elia]

I had the. The flight one. Hold on. I. I got. I got a Back at a bee. But you. You go.

[Sam Morril]

I got a peeve. Really slow eaters.

[Chris D'Elia]

Ooh. Really? Really?

[Sam Morril]

I find it really annoying.

[Chris D'Elia]

Interesting. I have a guy on the road, slow eater. So we're always waiting.

[Sam Morril]

I'm a fast eater, too, so I'm the worst person. I. I just fucking inhale shit.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But, yeah, I'm with. I'm with my buddy. He probably knows I'm talking about. I love you, Brian. You're the slowest fucking eater in the world. I mean. So Gary and I are eating. He's. And we wolf our stuff down. It takes him longer to get his food because he ordered some weird vegan shit.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, boy.

[Sam Morril]

So we're already like. He had to go off another menu or something at the hotel. He. He gets it and Then we're all. We've been done for 10 minutes. He gets his food. Just like.

Literally, like, like, what, are we filming a scene here?

[Chris D'Elia]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

You don't need to keep it on the plate. Let's fucking go.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

We're losing it. We're like, come on, eat it.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know. Because, you know, you only have so many hours in the day on the road. Like, you want to, like, get the writing done, maybe hit the gym, walk around.

[Sam Morril]

You want to stay on schedule. You want to. You want to. I like. I like a Good. As much as I don't like a slow thing. I love a. Like a. I love a scheduled day.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I love to be like, we'll meet here at three. It's, like, perfect.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

I always want to accomplish more on the road. Like, we were like, let's see. Begonia Stu. We got a sympagonia. And then we didn't. We were like, the day got away.

[Chris D'Elia]

The movie's tough because, you know that's gonna be with travel. That's a full three hours. Easy, easy. So.

[Sam Morril]

And fucking the trailers and everything.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Minimum. But then you feel like you gotta get there somewhat early, just in case.

[Chris D'Elia]

You don't wanna miss the beginning. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What's the good thing about reserved seatings? You can skip those 25 minutes and just show up to your seat.

[Sam Morril]

That's true.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That's true. Yeah. I guess it's not. I guess we're making it a bigger problem than it actually is.

[Chris D'Elia]

But. No, I'm with his slow eat. I have a guy on the road, he does the slow eating. And it's. He. It's bad for me because he'll have half his meal left. And I go, I guess you're about done here. And I started reaching for it because I like a good leftover. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm eating this. And then he doesn't think where there's, like, a couple bites left. And the waitress is like, oh, this is clearly. Let me take that. He's like, no, no, no, I'm working on this. You're, like, working on it. There's like, two peas and a crust.

[Sam Morril]

I'm also. That term annoys me. Still. Work it. Working. You're eating. You're not working.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's true.

[Sam Morril]

Still working on this. It's an annoying term. Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Brutal. So I'm with you on that one now. Similar ballpark.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

I got a lot of Chipotle peeves. I went to a Chipotle again, but.

[Sam Morril]

You'Re like the Chipotle king.

[Chris D'Elia]

I love chipotle. But I, I. Here's a peeve. You go in and they try to. They're so autopilot that they're like, they think they can predict your order. And I'm like, whoa. Like, I'll go, let's see, I'll do the end. She goes, oh, yeah, you want source? And I'm like, no, I don't want sour. And so she's like, oh, I thought you wanted sour. And I'm like, I never said sour. She put the sour on, so now we got to make a new bowl. And she's like, chicken. I'm like, no, I want beef. Stop predicting. But they just want to, like, get it moving. So. Yeah, that was a piece.

[Sam Morril]

That's insane. That's, that's, that's an insane thing to do. Just decide what you are getting.

[Chris D'Elia]

Exactly. Because I think 99% of people get sour cream. So they're just like, oh, going off the odds.

[Sam Morril]

Sour cream either. Because they fucking.

[Chris D'Elia]

They pilot.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, it's always too much. Even when it's a little. It's too much.

[Chris D'Elia]

So I just, I. I wish they'd treat the chicken like the sour.

[Sam Morril]

You know, I always go, double chicken, baby. You gotta get extra chicken in there.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, so that was one. And how about this guy? The guy who reaches over the glass.

[Sam Morril]

You know, it's already a germ fucking cesspool.

[Chris D'Elia]

Exactly.

[Sam Morril]

And I'm not the biggest germaphobe, but it's just fucking nasty.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I got the glass for a reason.

[Chris D'Elia]

I want the pico. Give me the lettuce. And you're like, they know what lettuce is. You can just say lettuce. Like, pointing to lettuce isn't like, oh, now I get it. You know? So that's annoying, this guy who doesn't.

[Sam Morril]

Think they speak English.

[Chris D'Elia]

I guess so. Yeah. But I think they've been there long enough to know. Lettuce and whatever. Peppers.

[Mark Normand]

I got one to tag on yours.

[Chris D'Elia]

If that's okay, please.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You ever, like, order a burger and then it comes with mayo, and you're like, I didn't order mayo. And they take it back and they just scrape the mayo off and give.

[Chris D'Elia]

You the same fucking burger?

[Sam Morril]

That's a fucking weird move.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's a bad burger.

[Sam Morril]

If there's, like, a special sauce that comes on it, that's one thing. But just putting, like, ketchup or mayo on before is a fucking weird move.

[Mark Normand]

I'll do that.

[Sam Morril]

Let me do that.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's true.

[Sam Morril]

You order a burger some places, if it's, like, also known for a burger place, I let them, like, all right, it's your place. You do your thing.

[Chris D'Elia]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

Food, like Mineta or something like that. Even the Cellar, they got that good burger, great burger, but, yeah, I'm with you. I hate a Mayo's Bold, too, but I fucking. I never related to that Pulp Fiction scene where he's pissed about the mayo and the fries.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh.

[Sam Morril]

Cause I fucking love mayo and fries.

[Chris D'Elia]

No, thank you.

[Sam Morril]

That's like the. You don't like that? No, it's fucking delicious.

Why?

[Chris D'Elia]

What do you have a ketchup? I like. I like. I'm a mustard guy. Over ketchup.

[Sam Morril]

Mustard on fries?

[Chris D'Elia]

Well, not on fries. Just as a general, but I love mustard. But, yeah, ketchup on a fry is the way to go. But a Mayo. Where you at? On. Are you one of these ranch guys?

[Sam Morril]

Nah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Dip the pizza and ranch. Dip the bread and ranch. Okay.

[Sam Morril]

I don't. I get why people do, but I don't like ranch that much. I like even wings on blue cheese. Let's do it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But no, I've never been big on ranch.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't mind a little ranch on a salad, but, yeah, These guys are. Dip it in everything. Now Ranch comes on Papa John's, they give you a pack of Ranch.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. That's how big it's gotten.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, man. I. I'm never. Usually. I'm happy with just regular pizza.

[Chris D'Elia]

Same.

[Sam Morril]

I don't need the. We're doing enough.

[Chris D'Elia]

I will say much. In my poor days, I would go ham on the garlic and the red pepper just because it was something free.

[Sam Morril]

And it also just changed it up.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, we ate so much dollar pizza. I remember we did it my show. Remember dollar pizza?

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Every week I was like, yeah, I'm fudgeing eating this, of course. But then you're like, this is bad.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's bad.

[Sam Morril]

You're kind of like, what's the catch? And then 30 minutes later, you're like, oh, yeah, I have to live with this inside me.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's the catch. It's like a. It's like a yoga mat material.

[Sam Morril]

It's not good. And it wasn't like, real cheese. I don't think it was fudgeing. But then you're also like, I spent $8 and I got a pie. I have no right to be upset.

[Chris D'Elia]

That' they bought a lot of the.

[Sam Morril]

Hot dogs at Rudy's that Was a fucking hack.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, I did that too. But yeah, they'll get you.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Because you think you're like. When you're drunk, you're like, this is amazing. And then the next morning, you're like. Even at like 24, you're like, I feel like fucking hell when it's fucking up your body and you're that young.

[Chris D'Elia]

True.

[Sam Morril]

The beer. Cuz the beer is like two bucks.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

God, that bar is awesome though.

[Chris D'Elia]

And it's still there, baby.

[Sam Morril]

It's a great. That's a good treasure, that bar. Rudy's Bar and Grill.

[Chris D'Elia]

And that. See you walk in, you see the pig, you walk out with one.

The. That's the motto.

[Sam Morril]

Bourdain. That was one of Bourdain's. Oh, really popped in there. Yeah. He knew what New York. What cool New York spots were.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Corner bistro. He made cool.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's right. That's a great fucking bar.

[Sam Morril]

Another cash only.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Cash only can get annoying though.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know. Like, come on, I gotta go to the atm. I'm gonna be here a while.

[Sam Morril]

Aren't these people worried about getting robbed?

[Chris D'Elia]

Ah, I never thought.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, that was a guy. Remember at the Comic Strip one night, Joe Mackey and I were just like pointing and laughing at this picture of this fat guy. We're like, who's this fat guy? And then they were like, he was the money guy at the Comic Strip and he got shot in the head and robbed. And we're like, sorry, we were laughing.

[Chris D'Elia]

Nah, jeez. He was a real cash cow. Okay, but.

[Sam Morril]

But you're like, that was a thing when you had to just deliver the cash.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that was big.

[Sam Morril]

Digital's safer.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's true. I never thought about that. Remember, remember guys would walk around with like a dummy or. Colin Quinn had that joke about a 20 mugger money. Mugger money. That was it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

You had real money and mugger money, just.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Chris D'Elia]

So you can only give one away.

[Mark Normand]

And then the joke was you would give him the mugger money. He'd be like, I know it's a mugger money. Where's the real money?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the line, he said, I don't have any money. He's like, we have your mugger money. That's what it is.

CQ with the best New York jokes he did.

[Chris D'Elia]

He had that great joke about how cops and black kids started talking. They flipped, you know, like black people like, don't do that, man. That's a 4.8 or whatever. And then the cops, like, young brother get over here. Get over here.

[Sam Morril]

That's great.

[Chris D'Elia]

Check your pockets or whatever.

[Sam Morril]

Such a good observation.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

I love his joke about how the L train used to be the scariest thing. Now you get on, it looks like a ski lift.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, ski lift is perfect. Damn.

[Sam Morril]

Colin Quinn, the King. Watch New York story on Netflix. If you haven't seen it, that's a fucking masterpiece.

[Chris D'Elia]

Masterpiece.

[Sam Morril]

You know what he told me after his heart attack? I was like, what did you think? And he goes, thank God I shot New York Story.

[Chris D'Elia]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

That's what a fucking comic he is. I'm like, nothing about, like, a loved one or anything.

[Chris D'Elia]

He's a married guy, too.

Good for him. That's a great piece of New York art.

[Sam Morril]

New York art and history. Like you. You actually learn a little bit.

[Chris D'Elia]

Watch. Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's like a kind of a lesson on New York. Like, oh, yeah, this is amazing.

[Chris D'Elia]

When he breaks down every ethnicity in a classroom, you know, and he's like, the. The sassy black chick, she's like. She's like, sit down, Shaqua for the. The teacher. And she's like, I thought Lincoln freed the slaves.

And I grew up with that girl. So that's. That hits home how Italian guys are. They're tough as, but they're scared of the weirdest things, you know, they'll be like, I'll kill you. I'll beat your ass, whatever. And he's like, whoa, what's that? Yogurt?

[Sam Morril]

Jesus Christ.

[Chris D'Elia]

Get that away. Damn.

[Sam Morril]

It's all so real.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's. I know.

[Sam Morril]

It's. God, he's good.

Yeah, man.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. So, yeah, the Knicks game, we. We did do. We had to tell about the photo.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, we got a photo with Ben Stiller, Jimmy Fallon. Fallon walked up to Norman and was like. Mark kind of whispered to me. He's like, I had a good set in front of Fallon the other night. And then Fallon comes over, like, dude, great set. Kind of gave me like a smiles like, all right.

[Chris D'Elia]

Told you. Pretty cool. That was cool. And then Stiller was a little standoffish, but.

[Sam Morril]

No, he's cool.

[Chris D'Elia]

He was cool. He's just so cool.

[Sam Morril]

You know what he is? He's such a big Knicks fan. He was feeling the pain. I felt the same way.

[Chris D'Elia]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

He was upset about the game.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. He wanted to duck out of there, you can see. And we had to call him back for the photo.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but it's a fun photo. Comedy photo. Jay in there. And. No, but I could tell he was effective. And also, Brunson got Injured. I mean, that game sucked to be at. That's a good pick.

[Chris D'Elia]

That was tough. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Look at that.

[Chris D'Elia]

Look at that big Irish head on Fallon, huh?

[Sam Morril]

I love. I'm so happy you were the Brunson jersey.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know. I'm glad I got that in.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude. No, that was a. That was a tough game. It sucks when they not only lose injuries, man.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

For long season.

[Chris D'Elia]

Season.

[Sam Morril]

It'll be all right.

[Chris D'Elia]

At least we got to hang out with Spike Lee, though. That's the upside.

[Sam Morril]

I got a fist bump from Josh Hart, too.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's true. Yeah, that was pretty.

[Sam Morril]

Well, I got one from Sprewell, too.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right.

[Mark Normand]

During the game.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, we were, like, having a bite upstairs and Spreewalked in. I'm like, dude, that's Latrell Sprewell. And he walked by, and he was like, yo. And he. And he gave me a bump. He knew you. I sat next to him at a game once, and we hit it off. Wow. And I was being really silly and dumb and distracting the other team. I would, like, stand up whenever at the free throw line, I do a thing where I'll just start stomping like this under the R. Choked you. And he. No, I told him about that. He didn't know that. You don't know. Choked his coach in Golden State, which is the most hilarious. And also the Knicks sign him, right? And it worked. It keeps getting crazier. Like, that guy who choked his coach. We should have him on our team, and he was great for us. He was a great player. But he walked by, and I was like, oh, that was one of my favorite players ever. And they walked by, was really friendly.

[Chris D'Elia]

So pretty cool. Very cool. Giant spree. Giant man love.

[Mark Normand]

You're living your fucking childhood.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know you're talking about Mattingly Spree.

[Sam Morril]

Well, what did go well in front of Mattingly? Didn't go well in front of Mattingly. That was a bad.

[Chris D'Elia]

Whatever you met at that point.

[Sam Morril]

Mattingly was definitely like, get this fucking guy away from me.

[Chris D'Elia]

No, you got the photo.

[Sam Morril]

I got the photo. I think he's a nice guy. But I was like. They were like. They walked over to him, like, oh, he's a huge fan. He was like, oh, cool. He was nice. But I'm sure he was like, that was a disaster. I'm sure he was like. He was like, get this fucking bad luck away from me. I'm trying to land another job. I'm like, william H. Mace the Cooler. I'm bringing my Stink on him.

[Chris D'Elia]

Damn.

[Sam Morril]

No, I felt that was. It sucks when you bomb a gig and they're not even mad. They're just like, disappointed. Yeah, that's what it felt like because they were like, oh, he's like a nice guy. He just fucking bombed. But what.

[Chris D'Elia]

I mean, it's on them. Their act works. It's not like you went in there with open micing. Shit.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. No, I think it was just one of those things where.

You know the feeling that when you get off and they're not like, what were you thinking? They're just like, like, ah, gee. They're just like. More just like annoyed.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Pisco was trying to cheer me up. It was. That was the funniest part. I'm like, life is so weird. Joe Piscopo in a tuxedo is like, kid, let me tell you some stories about the good old days. He's telling me Rodney's stories. He's telling me Seinfeld stories.

[Chris D'Elia]

Treating like the kid in the burn ward. Come on. It's gonna be all right.

[Sam Morril]

I'm not gonna make it, Joe.

[Mark Normand]

Say it ain't so, Joe.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, I did a. Did a corporate for the. A pharmaceutical company in Philly. They took me out on a limo. I had to get a. They bought me a tuxedo. They had it like fitted for me. This engine kept it. No, they took it back.

[Sam Morril]

They got fitted and they took it back.

[Chris D'Elia]

They took it back. That's how bad I bombed Shopify. Starting your own business can be overwhelming. Shopify is a platform that helps you turn an idea into a real business. Shopify powers millions of businesses and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brand new creators. Starting from scratch, Shopify gives you the tools to build a storefront, create content, handle payments, manage inventory, and run marketing campaigns all in one place. You can choose from hundreds of ready to use templates, use Shopify's AI tools to write product descriptions and headlines, and use built in email and social tools to reach new customers. Shopify even supports you with expert guidance and 24. 7 customer help. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into Cha Ching. With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com drop go to shopify.com drunk shopify.com drunk holiday cooking is here.

[Sam Morril]

And if your current pans can't handle high heat or burn everything, it's time for an upgrade. Hexclad combines stainless steel strength with non stick convenience and their pans look great on your stovetop. You got perfect Sears fast heating, easy cleanup and durability that lasts a lifetime. Their six piece set is a perfect starter kit with their most popular pans and lids. They're 12 piece set includes everything you need to cook for a family or host holiday gatherings including pans, saucepans and a big stock pot, all with hexclad's patented hybrid technology and lifetime warranty. These are dishwasher safe, metal utensil safe, oven Safe, up to 500 degrees, induction ready and have very cool handles. They are simply some of the best pans you'll ever own. I got some of these in the in the mail. I've been making eggs on this bad boy constantly. Oh yeah, love this. It's my new go to pan. Yes, highly recommend. And they're big too. I love a big pan.

[Chris D'Elia]

Big, sexy. They're sleek. My mom's been cooking with them all week.

[Sam Morril]

I stuck the handle up my ass. It feels amazing. Smooth smooth this season to not just shop for gifts, give the upgrade every kitchen deserves. Visit hexclad.com and cook like a pro all holiday long. Treat yourself or give the gift of cookware that delivers for every meal, every gathering, every season. That that's H E X C-L-A-.com hexclad.com Sole is a wellness brand that makes feeling good simple. Their out of Office Gummies deliver a mild relaxing buzz that boosts your mood and helps you unwind. With five different strengths, you can tailor your dose from a micro 1.5 milligram gummy all the way to their 15 milligram elevated experience. These are designed to give you relaxation without the hangover, bloat or calories you get from alcohol. Although alcohol is cool too.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Their out of Office beverage is a refreshing zero alcohol option for movie nights, hanging with friends or unwinding after a long day. Seoul offers Sleep Sleepy Gummies, one of their top rated options for deep restorative sleep. Every product is made with organically farmed USA grown hemp and all of them are vegan, gluten free, low sugar and federally legal. Take advantage of Sol's Black Friday Cyber Monday deal now. For a limited time, get 40% off your entire order that's GetSoul.com and use the code WMBD. That's GetSoul.com promo code WMBD for 40% off. Do not miss their best deal of.

[Chris D'Elia]

The year oh, yeah. These are not your average jeans. These jeans are all about comfort, stretch and actually fitting real bodies. No stiff denim, no crushed nuts, no saggy diaper. Just soft, stretchy perfection that moves with you. You can bend, lift, run errands, chase kids, oh, hit dates and never feel restricted. The Perfect Gene has six fits, a wide range of sizes including waist up to 50 inches and links up to 38. Wow. Giving you over 5,000 ways to find a perfect match. Over 400,000 men of all shapes and ages love these jeans. More than 30,000 5 star reviews all saying the same thing. You should not have to choose between comfort and style. Their lineup also includes buttery soft tees that make your chest and arms pop without clinging to your stomach. Everyday comfort shorts that gives your thighs the breathing room they deserve. And den khakis right here. They look office ready, but feel like joggers. Look at this. Look at this movement.

[Sam Morril]

That is good movement right there.

[Chris D'Elia]

Good movement. Whether you're bending down to fix the printer or heading out for the night, these pants keep you looking good and feeling good all day. For a limited time, our listeners get 15% off their first order plus free shipping at The Perfect Gene.nyc or Google the Perfect Gene and use code DRUNK15 for 15 off. That is 15 off for new customers at the Perfect Gene NYC with promo code DRUNK15. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Them. Please support the show and tell them we sent you baby your khakis and get your perfect jade. Ah. They were like, get back. And I, I had to get an Uber home or an Amtrak or a Fung Hua or something.

[Sam Morril]

That crowd too. He's like, I'm having a bad week. What's happening?

[Chris D'Elia]

Probably like seven years ago. But it was in this beautiful Philly hotel and it was an award show for like, it was called like the Farmies or something. And it was for all these drugs. And I had to do opening that. I had to bring up every guy and do like, they did it. They go up to the podium and give a little speech and I had to do all these cue cards and notes and everything. I got fired after the opening.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Chris D'Elia]

They paid me. Believe it or not. My manager had to really fight the guy on the phone. But the opening was so bad because the owners or the head guy's wife flipped.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Because I did a vibrator joke and she flipped out. She chewed him out in the lobby and she was like, if you don't get rid of him, whatever.

[Sam Morril]

Imagine being that successful and Rich and marrying a humorless person like that.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's a great point.

[Sam Morril]

What a bump. Like, you made it financially. You probably have an insane house, and then you come home to a woman's like, what was that exact.

[Chris D'Elia]

Over a joke at a comedy show. I know.

[Sam Morril]

Boar.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes, you're a boar. So I got off stage, I was like, oh, I bombed. What are you gonna do? That sucks. But I knew I had to do the whole presentation all night. And they were like, we're gonna need the tuxedo, and you gotta get out of here naked.

[Sam Morril]

He's in his underwear, just hailing a taxi. That's a good bit.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. True story. Brutal. Just stop hiring comedians you don't know about. If you're gonna get a Gilbert Godfrey, he's gonna say fucked up shit, you know?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Don't act killed.

[Sam Morril]

They killed Godfrey.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. No, I know the feeling. I mean, those private things are the worst because you're like, I mean, clearly, I'm here for the money, you know, but also for that one, I was kind of like, well, this is cool. It's baseball. I love sports.

[Chris D'Elia]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

So this is kind of cool. But then when it goes. I mean, it's so amazing how different the night could be when it goes. Well, There was like an after party, though. You come in, I'm like, no. Oh, God, I want to fuck. You think I want. You think these people want to see me? No, I'm ducking out.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But they were all very nice. That's the heart. The hardest part is when they're. They don't fire you and they're nice.

[Chris D'Elia]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

And you just feel like you let them down.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes, yes.

[Sam Morril]

I'm not mad, but I'm disappointed. Energy.

[Chris D'Elia]

Sure. And you did the full 30.

[Sam Morril]

I can't do, like. Like 25.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's. That's a while.

[Sam Morril]

It was rough.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's a long time to bomb.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I saw the light and I was like, thank God.

[Chris D'Elia]

Wow. So he said, light me with five left.

[Sam Morril]

I got off on a joke that bombed. I was like, what do you want me to do? I was. I tried everything, dude. I tried all my, like, I'm doing, like, jokes that kill on Conan Fallon, and they're just not hitting. I'm just like, this is a clean joke.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Chris D'Elia]

Damn, that is tough. You got paid. Yeah, okay.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I heard the story of this other guy who didn't, and I was like, they made him give the check back, and it was like, that bad.

[Chris D'Elia]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Like, at least they could tell I Tried. Yeah, maybe that's worse.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, my God. I mean, you know my famous story where I. The guy flew me to Toronto, crazy money. And he. I get to the. He's like, have dinner with us first. So I was like, all right. Italian joint, beautiful restaurant. Food was insanely expensive. It's a bunch of real estate guys. And he's like, I'm a big fan. I watch it with my son. You got to do this bit. This bit. So I'm like, this guy's quoting my. He's this guy I'm gonna kill.

[Sam Morril]

This is when, you know, you bomb, though, Like, Yes. That back then, I'm like, yeah, it's gonna go well. Now I'm like, I know I'm set up for failure.

[Chris D'Elia]

I didn't know then. But. So I go, he's. The room was upstairs. It was a beautiful ballroom. And it was like ballroom, too. Fisher Price, Mike. They couldn't get it going, that whole thing with the feedback. And I was supposed to an hour. And he's in the front row, and I'm bombing so bad, and he's looking at me. I could see the guy the whole time. He's looking at me like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. They don't get it.

[Chris D'Elia]

They don't get it.

[Sam Morril]

People don't understand when. How often we can bomb these. Cause just like. Yeah, we need the right situation.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

This isn't magic. It's like, we got it. The room's got to be right. The people got to be like, set up for it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Otherwise it's strange. They're like, why is this person. I could tell they're like, why is he still here?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

Which is the worst feeling as an entertainer?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You're welcome. Like, all you want to do is leave them wanting more as an entertainment.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes. Yes.

[Sam Morril]

It's the worst when you're like, oh, I'm dragging on. I know it's bad.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Awareness to know this is not working.

[Chris D'Elia]

Did you comment going? I realize this is weird.

[Sam Morril]

I had to.

[Chris D'Elia]

Okay. No, I think you should.

[Sam Morril]

There we go. Talk about hell gigs. What the fuck is this?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. I didn't know this was this when I signed up.

[Sam Morril]

Give me a break.

[Chris D'Elia]

Well, it's called, like, hot show or something. So I was like, oh, all right.

[Mark Normand]

So if you're just listening. Mark did a show in a sauna. A fully turned up 115 degree sauna. To a crowd of people in bikinis and underwear. This guy looks naked.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. It was a great moment too, because we're shooting something at the moment. So I had five sets and you were coming all the sets. And we go here and they won't let Salicus in because everyone there was hot.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, no.

[Chris D'Elia]

But they won't let him in because they're like, you have to have a bathing suit.

[Sam Morril]

Suit man.

[Mark Normand]

I know that you forgot your bathing suit too to your own show.

[Chris D'Elia]

I lied and said I got mine. So I went in and I just covered up with a towel. But they wouldn't let Salicy. And I was like, ah, I feel bad. You're sitting out the cold. And I turn around in fucks this guy with no shirt on and Sellacus. I was like, what the hell?

[Sam Morril]

So you started filming?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And how. How did the. Did the crowd laugh a lot?

[Chris D'Elia]

They were great. They were great. I gotta say. Because I think once you're in there, you're gonna laugh. Like if you took the time to do this. You want to see a show?

[Sam Morril]

Let me say, not everything has to be a comedy show.

[Chris D'Elia]

I agree.

[Sam Morril]

What are we doing? Sometimes. Sometimes a sauna is just a sauna.

[Chris D'Elia]

Of course. Why? I will say this is a. If you're a single guy, go to this place. It's just hot girl after hot girl. They're all in bikinis and it's. It's co ed or whatever. So they just co. Mingle and ice plunge together. Sauna together. There's a bar back there.

[Sam Morril]

There. There's a bar in the sauna.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. What's it called? Other Ship. Yes, the other Ship.

[Sam Morril]

That's got to be rough though. You're dehydrating yourself on so many levels.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh yeah. I think this is just a hookup thing like that. That's got to be all this.

[Sam Morril]

No fat Mark's gonna be next week. Is a picture of him at like an Eyes Wide Shut party. Like I didn't know. They didn't tell me. They didn't tell me in the pull.

[Chris D'Elia]

Up the Epstein island set. I did.

Yeah, yeah. Crazy, crazy gig. But they were good. And I opened up, I said, I feel like I'm in hell, you know, except there's no gays or something. But yeah, it was. It was a lot of fun and they laughed. 10 minutes set.

[Sam Morril]

Where is this?

[Chris D'Elia]

This is on 24th and.

[Mark Normand]

Sorry, 20th, 20th and 5th.

[Chris D'Elia]

Between 5th and 6th and the whole.

[Sam Morril]

Place is like a sauna type health. What is this?

[Chris D'Elia]

Sauna, Cold plunge, those crazy showers. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Jesus Christ.

[Mark Normand]

You got stain on your towel there.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's a shadow. Oh, pissing myself.

I think. I sat in something, but, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Damn, dude.

[Chris D'Elia]

Good times.

[Sam Morril]

I saw you right after this happened. Yeah, we had a stomping chat in the street.

[Chris D'Elia]

The irony is I sweat less here than you did at the baseball show.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, there's no doubt. There's no. Dude, the flop sweat is funny because it's like a cartoon thing, but that shit's real.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, it's real.

[Sam Morril]

Like, you just start getting drenched. You're like, I never sweat. But I also had a thing in Utah where I was like, you ever have, like, a near panic attack on stage where you're just like, I never have that. I'm not. Like, I have anxiety. But it hits me. Like, I can usually flush it out on stage. It usually hits me, like, trying to sleep. You ever just trying to sleep and you get pissed? Like, 14 times? Yeah. Yeah. Before a flight, like, you just can't sleep. You're wired, your heart's racing, you're thinking of all the bad shit, whatever. But I'm pretty good at watching that on stage. I like being on stage, but I had, like. I don't know why Vitor and I were just pounding coffee all day. Maybe it's the altitude there. Maybe it's the. You know, the mountains. I don't know.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But we both had, like, near panic attacks on stage. I got off, I'm like, dude. And he was like, me, too. I fucking. I'm on stage. I'm just like, I can't breathe. And my camera guy, Brian the Slow Eater, was like. He goes. I could tell something. Like, it was going well, but I could tell something was off. Huh. I could just tell you delivery. Like, you're not. Like, you looked in your head. I was like, yeah. I was fucking freaking out.

[Chris D'Elia]

So you didn't bring it up or anything? You did?

[Sam Morril]

No, I mean, I was killing. I would. They were great. Great crowd. So I was like, why. Why bring it up if I'm not. I made a couple jokes. Like, you know, this mountain air is not made for Jews. Like, I definitely had some, like, allergy shit where I'm like. And then you pop some nasal cord. I'm like, oh, I'm good. This is fucking. Straight up allergies.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, right. No, that altitude is no joke.

[Sam Morril]

It's crazy.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's crazy. Especially for guys, too. Oh, the hangovers are bad. You get drunk faster. You get out of breath faster.

[Sam Morril]

I was pounding after the Saturday show. I was pounding vodka. I was like, let me just fucking just. I was, like, chugging vodka. I was like, let me just Let me. Let me. Nicolas Cage leaving Las Vegas. Except there was no Elizabeth Shue.

[Chris D'Elia]

I'll tell you.

[Sam Morril]

I'll tell you that hotel room was lonely.

[Mark Normand]

Can I ask a quick question? So you guys have sort of mastered public speaking, obviously. And you said you had a panic attack on stage. What are your anxiety dreams?

[Sam Morril]

Not quite, but it was like, in the center.

[Mark Normand]

What are your anxiety dreams? Like when you're sleeping, you're like, whoa.

[Sam Morril]

That I'm a failure. That I'm like a fucking. That I'm just like. Then I'm like, oh, shit, I'm making a movie. I'm like, duh, I fucked this up. I could have done this.

[Mark Normand]

I'm not talking about when you're having anxiety thoughts. Sometimes when you're dreaming and it's like the same thing over and over again.

[Sam Morril]

You'Re having a dream, like in a. Oh, geez, I don't remember. I don't really write them down. Do you write them down?

[Chris D'Elia]

I had a dream last night that I walked in on my wife and there were two kids instead of one. And I was like, what the hell? And then you're like, is it mine? Now we have to take care of two kids. That was my panic anxiety dream. That was last night.

[Sam Morril]

It's so funny that your nightmare is probably what she wants the future to be.

[Chris D'Elia]

All right?

[Mark Normand]

A family.

[Sam Morril]

There's a family. I get it. But it's like a mind fuck.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Joint bank account. That's the word, dude.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, that's. I get that, though. Yeah. Like confusion, like, mind fuck stuff. That's when you're like. It's not even scary. You're just like. It's like that Sopranos episode where he's in a coma and he's just Kevin Finnerty. And you're like, what? But it's, like, kind of scary because you're like, this is so fucking weird.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

It was just eerie. Yeah, that's a good. Good.

[Sam Morril]

Lynch is supposed to be weird. I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, like, it was very David Lynch. Yeah, but. But for no reason at all.

[Sam Morril]

I got a hot take on David Lynch.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, hit me.

[Sam Morril]

Don't love it.

[Chris D'Elia]

I'm with you.

[Sam Morril]

I respect it. Okay, but I don't. I like. Mulholland Drive's a masterpiece, I think. But then, like, Twin Peaks, I feel like every character is like, hey, buddy. Pal.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Why is everyone, like, it's like they're fucking with you. Yes.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, I'm with you. I don't get it. I Will say Elephant man is really good. Never saw it, but it's his first movie, I think, so he had to bring it. It's kind of like a game. It's a new comic where. Your first album. It's your first album. I was gonna say. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You had to go slightly more broad.

[Chris D'Elia]

And then you give him too much leash and they fuck it up.

[Sam Morril]

I accept that he's great. I understand. And it's just not for me.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

But, like, yeah, I don't love. Even in some of those movies, it feels like every character is. Like, with you.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. I feel real.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Like, Tim Burton is a weirdo, but it works sometimes. Sometimes. You got Crybaby, but that was someone. Oh, that was about Waters. Waters, yeah, Water.

[Sam Morril]

One that I don't really.

[Chris D'Elia]

I think it's a little overrated. I don't get. Yeah. I think Tim Burton, he keeps it in line. It's still weird, but it's still fun.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I remember the first time I saw Nightmare Before Christmas as a kid. I was like, this is insane.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's genius.

[Sam Morril]

I was blown away.

[Chris D'Elia]

The music is great. The animation's great. That movie's incredible.

[Sam Morril]

Just different. Like, think of it, like, having your mind conceive that. Like, it's like when you told me to watch the Scorsese doc, and it's just like how he just visualized every scene in the fucking movie. Like Goodfellas Casino. He just saw it before it happened. And, like, that's incredible. Like, that's. It's like being an artist where you're like, oh, this is what we do. This is how it'll look. This how it'll flow.

[Chris D'Elia]

Totally an artist. Like, when that last scene, when he's. They're talking about Flower Moon and he's got that giant board. He's on a stool, and he's putting, like, note cards on a board to do the storyboarding. And it's got to be, like, 68 note cards. And, like, that was all in his head. Insane.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

And he's 80. Whatever.

[Sam Morril]

He gives it everything, man.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You see it sometimes, and you're like. Like, you don't have to suffer for what you do. But maybe a little ain't the worst.

[Chris D'Elia]

Sure, sure.

[Sam Morril]

But then you see some of these people we love, and we're like, man, they're, like, suffering also. I didn't realize, like. Yeah. I mean, you talked about this on one of the episodes, but, like, the amount of shit he got for Last Temptation, I didn't know. You know? Yeah. I Was a baby, probably.

[Chris D'Elia]

He said the most shit he got, though, was Wolf of Wall street because the Internet was now around, so you can get more shit.

[Sam Morril]

God. They're the new picket people. It's just people.

[Chris D'Elia]

Like, I didn't like this exactly. And they're the new picket people. But instead of the picket, which is like 50 people outside of there, this is millions and millions of people. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It used to just be, like, the local news picket. Right. Right now it's like people who are, like, outraged. Gets retweets. I don't know.

[Chris D'Elia]

Well, I heard Seth MacFarlane once say when he started Family Guy, he would get bags, like, garbage bags of hate mail. Like, this is offensive. You should be ashamed of yourself. And they would just throw it in this big incinerator. But now the Internet, you can't throw it away.

[Sam Morril]

Which, by the way, that's gotta be so satisfying.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

Like, the act of that's not as fun to just not check.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

I feel better to, like, throw something in the fire.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, exactly. But then again, the show's hilarious and it's still on the air or whatever, so, like, just gotta keep going. Look, Scorsese just kept going.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And then if, like, you do it for you. Like, if you miss, you miss. And then you come back with something better, you know?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. I also loved how they. He's got, like, eight wives of that documentary.

[Sam Morril]

And they don't go to any detail on how the marriages fall apart.

[Chris D'Elia]

I love it.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, now I have a new wife. We're like, wait, what happened to the. Yeah, what happened to that last one there?

[Chris D'Elia]

But it's a new trick. Because every documentary five years ago was like, now, here's the scandal. And you're like, no, just.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but he produced this, right?

[Chris D'Elia]

Did he.

[Sam Morril]

Did he not gave it a go?

[Chris D'Elia]

I don't think he did.

[Sam Morril]

It seemed. I don't want to use the word fluff, but it seemed a little too much focused on the work to be not produced by him.

[Chris D'Elia]

Interesting.

[Sam Morril]

Maybe he was like, I don't want to talk. Look, why would you want to talk about that shit? Sure.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. I mean, I think if you sign up, you go, I'll do it, but leave that out.

[Sam Morril]

They did have Isabella Rossellini be like, yeah, he would throw shit.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, I know.

[Sam Morril]

Funny, because it's, like, scary, but it's also like, a guy that tiny doing it is kind of funny.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. With those eyebrows.

Okay, okay, I'm wrong. They kept it nice. It was that lady. I forgot her name.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Emily Something.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was great.

[Chris D'Elia]

What is it? Rebecca Miller. That's it. Yeah. She was good. Damn. I had something earlier, but something else I lost. Busted.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

What the hell were you talking about?

[Sam Morril]

Scorsese movies.

[Chris D'Elia]

Way before that. Lynch. Yeah. Lynch is a little. A little much. Although the Louis episode with lynch is fun. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, look, he did a lot of cool, too.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. But I'm with you. I don't love that eerie vibe.

[Sam Morril]

He's also great in the. The Spielberg movie.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just.

[Sam Morril]

Fableman's.

[Chris D'Elia]

Fableman's, Yes. I thought it was good, but I.

[Sam Morril]

Liked it a lot.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, it got bad reviews, but, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I like it like that.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. I don't like eerie. Like, even Willy Wonka as a kid. The movie's incredible. Super imaginative and all that, but I just. It irked me the whole time.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Because you feel. I think we just don't like guys who are like, were you with me?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Maybe that's what it is.

[Sam Morril]

That whole energy. Like, you're just like, come with me. And you're like, what's happening? What's going on?

[Chris D'Elia]

Come with me. Can't you see my imagination?

[Sam Morril]

He is. I love Gene Wild.

[Chris D'Elia]

He's a. He's a brilliant man.

[Sam Morril]

I appreciate it now, but as a kid. Yeah. I didn't like it either.

[Chris D'Elia]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

My mom was showing me a weird, artsy. When I was a kid, I was watching, like, the Red Balloon.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, I saw that.

[Sam Morril]

I love that.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Of course, I would go off my own and find, like, Ninja Turtles and stuff like that. But she was always showing me. She's like, oh, you want to watch comedy? You'll watch Laurel and Hardy.

[Chris D'Elia]

Wow. My mom did the same thing. That's how I found the Marx Brothers. She handed me a stack of tapes.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, dude. I loved it, though. I would watch, like, the fucking March of the Wooden Soldiers again and again. Wow. I mean. But. But yeah, it's kind of cool. It probably is. Why we both love movies so much is we have moms who are like, you'll watch good stuff as a kid, right? You can watch your Ghostbusters and stuff, too. The stuff you like. But you have to watch artsy stuff, too. And then you're like, all right. Then you appreciate it when you're older.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's true. Yeah, Good point. Yeah. My mom was such a cheap, artsy bitch that she would get library movies.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, shit.

[Chris D'Elia]

So whatever the free one at the library was. So I'd have to watch all that horseshit.

[Sam Morril]

So what were you watching?

[Chris D'Elia]

It was a lot of like Duck Soup and that's great.

[Sam Morril]

That's like the best thing to watch.

[Chris D'Elia]

It was great. But you're like, I just want to watch Ernest Goes to Jail, you know, like, give me a break every now and then. I don't.

[Sam Morril]

Ernest Goes to Camp was the one that was so. That was the winner.

[Chris D'Elia]

So good. But yeah, you need. You need to cut it with a little. Yeah, a little Earnest.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, you do. You need to cut it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Did you watch Yahoo Serious?

[Sam Morril]

What's that?

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, do you remember that one? Yes, that was big. My dad loved that one.

[Mark Normand]

Or a movie.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's an actor. It was a movie movie. That guy, Young Ice. Oh, that's a guy that. I watch uhf. I watch all that shit. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Michael Richards. Before Kramer, dude.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, I had to watch. My dad was a little more sophisticated. He loved British humor. So I watched a lot of Four Weddings and a Funeral. Mr. Bean. I watched.

[Sam Morril]

You know, my issue with Four Weddings and a Funeral is it just will go like. It's kind of like sad. I don't know where it kind of like. I don't know. Like, I don't have an issue with sad, but it felt like kind of like so out of nowhere.

[Chris D'Elia]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

That's life.

[Chris D'Elia]

But yeah, yeah, it was good.

[Sam Morril]

It was fine. And McDowell was hot.

[Chris D'Elia]

Very hot. Our daughter's very hot. Yeah, well, we're getting old. Like daughters of people who are hot are hot. Cindy Crawford, Annie McDowell.

Yeah, there's another one like Kathy Ireland. Do you have a daughter? Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Well, we have a line in our movie where someone calls us old and you say, I'm 39. The perfect age to your mom.

[Chris D'Elia]

Or your girlfriend. Or your girlfriend. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Talking to a frat guy guy.

[Sam Morril]

That's how long we've had this movie, folks.

[Chris D'Elia]

Okay, there it is. Nailed it. Wait, how old is that dog? Oh, good, good. Might have to edit.

[Sam Morril]

I say hot. I meant adorable.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's a good save.

[Mark Normand]

Speaking of Ghostbusters.

[Sam Morril]

Wait, you just changed the subject. Yep.

[Mark Normand]

Pretty quick.

[Chris D'Elia]

I'm not.

[Sam Morril]

All right, all right. Is it that bad?

[Mark Normand]

I don't know. I bet she's 16.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, no way.

[Sam Morril]

Then we'll. Cuz this.

[Chris D'Elia]

All right. So appropriate. I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

I'm getting there.

[Sam Morril]

This is dark just right.

[Chris D'Elia]

How old's Cathy Ireland's daughter?

[Mark Normand]

Chloe.

[Chris D'Elia]

Chloe Ireland.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's the name of Alec Baldwin's daughter's name's Ireland.

[Mark Normand]

Imagine they had a kid together.

[Chris D'Elia]

36.

[Mark Normand]

No, that's not the right one.

[Chris D'Elia]

Ah, fuck. That's Chloe.

[Mark Normand]

That's Chloe. Chloe.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, that's Chloe Agnew. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Why is this so hard? The fact that this is hard to find makes me feel like this is bad.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. And the fact you had to sign that waiver.

[Sam Morril]

Do we have two people on this right now? Yeah, we've got all our best men on this.

[Mark Normand]

22 years.

[Chris D'Elia]

Okay?

[Sam Morril]

It's not good. But it's legal.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's legal. God damn it. Legal by four years.

[Sam Morril]

All right, as David Tell said, Barely Legal. You're not Michael Jackson, but you're living in his neighborhood.

[Chris D'Elia]

Barely Legal is insane. That. That.

[Sam Morril]

The fact that that's a concept is awful.

[Mark Normand]

Isn't there a club in New Orleans called Larry Flint's? Barely Legal.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's where the skank after party was. Literally legal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That's hilarious.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Fun.

[Chris D'Elia]

That was great. Great time. They were a little old, though.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Stanhope. He's the best.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's a great photo. Who took that?

[Sam Morril]

Salakis.

[Chris D'Elia]

Ah, never heard of him. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff.

[Sam Morril]

We gotta get Stanhope back.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah, he tell the Stanhope story.

[Mark Normand]

Which one?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, but don't give the guy's name away.

[Mark Normand]

Which one?

[Chris D'Elia]

The one with the opener. The host.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, gosh.

[Chris D'Elia]

Who tried to bump him?

[Mark Normand]

So there was a Legend show.

[Chris D'Elia]

Legends.

[Mark Normand]

Legends show. And two legends just backed out immediately. It was like. It was like a 2pm show. So Shane backed out and Bonnie McFarlane backed out. So it was Pepitone, Stan Hope.

[Chris D'Elia]

Okay. Legend. Legend.

[Mark Normand]

And who was the third person there? It was like, maybe. I can't remember. Anyway, so some opener comes in and he's like, I was sent down here to fill in for Shane. I'm gonna open.

[Sam Morril]

And.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, it was talent, Sam. Talent.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, okay.

[Mark Normand]

So the opener's like, I was told I'm gonna open. I'm filling in for Shane. So Stanhope's like, you know what? Since no one's gonna do it, I've actually have 15 minutes on what it's like to open a show like this. I can do. I can do the open, and I've got material just for this situation. And like, hey, I'm just doing what I'm told.

[Sam Morril]

Stop saying the name for gonna edit.

[Mark Normand]

Dude is like, I'm just doing what I'm told, brother.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, he's Hulk Hogan. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he's like that.

[Mark Normand]

He thinks he's eastbound and down. That's who he thinks.

[Chris D'Elia]

Right, Right.

[Mark Normand]

Anyway, so Sam Talon's like, look, friend, I'm not saying his name. Look, friend, this is a legend. He says it opening.

[Sam Morril]

He's opening.

[Mark Normand]

You do whatever you want. You could close the show for all I care. You could be the last guy. But Stanhope's opening. Boom.

[Chris D'Elia]

What, is he peeved?

[Mark Normand]

No, he took it.

[Chris D'Elia]

All right, all right.

[Mark Normand]

He was lowest man in that room. Like, lower than me. Wow, that's something.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, yeah. And C's, like, I want to open. I have a bit about opening. Let me open. The guy's like, no, no, I got it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. You can't push back against Stan Hope. He's a legend.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, yeah. Come on. Is he Jewish? Bob Dylan is Jewish, and he's also.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but that's not his real name, right?

[Chris D'Elia]

Wait, what is Bob Dylan's real name?

Look up Bob Joe Zimmerman.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, something.

[Chris D'Elia]

Zimmerman. Zimmerman. Not Joe.

[Sam Morril]

Bob Zimmerman.

[Chris D'Elia]

Bob Zimmerman.

[Sam Morril]

Joe Zimmerman. Funny guy.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, very funny.

[Mark Normand]

He was Hedberg. Not Jewish.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, Swedish check. He's a big whitey man.

[Sam Morril]

Mitch Hedberg. Do you ever see him live?

[Chris D'Elia]

No, no.

[Sam Morril]

I tried to get tickets to him at Caroline's. It was like, a couple months before he died. I'm sure it wouldn't have been him at his best. He was probably heavy on drugs then. But damn, dude, Hedberg was so good. Sometimes people, like, they'll hate on it, but it really is, like, so fun. It's such good joke writing.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's so good. So imaginative. Like, rice is great when you're hungry for 2,000 of something. You're like, how did you think of that? How'd you know that'd be funny, you know?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And the delivery and his Letterman sets are lights out. I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask him where they're going and catch up with them later.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, great. My mom loves those applause breaks, you know? Like, I know people who don't like comedy, and I've showed them Hedberg, and they're like, this is good.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, do the Dufresnes. That bit alone.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, where are the Dufresnes?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Search party of three, party of four.

[Sam Morril]

And he goes. You know that bit? Yeah, Du Frains. And then they just keep going. No. Okay, next group. Yeah, but what about the Dufresne? No one seems to give a shit. That's a great fucking bit.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

It's also such a simple. Like, you don't realize these are, like, just observational jokes. It's like such a character. You don't realize.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

How observational these bits are.

[Chris D'Elia]

Have you seen this is Pretty crazy. See if we pull this up on YouTube. It's Hedberg before he's figured it out yet. And Jeanine Garofalo brings him up and it's in like blend. No, this is in like a bar or something.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Chris D'Elia]

And there's like eight audience members there sitting on the floor. And he's doing Hedberg, but it's not fully formed yet.

[Sam Morril]

He's doing like Chris Rock's delivery.

[Chris D'Elia]

He doesn't even have the glasses yet. That's the YouTube video. I don't know. It's gonna be hard to find because it's, it's super obscure.

[Sam Morril]

There was. You ever see the thing with Chris Rock and Steven Wright came out and they do each other's bits.

[Chris D'Elia]

That was amazing. We should do more of that. That should be done more. That was so funny. Now this is the green room I'm talking about. It's a set. It's a stand up set.

[Sam Morril]

But yeah, tell it like a ponytail here. What's going on? Yeah, like the Stavi haircut here.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Good luck finding. It's literally in like a basement or something. And Jeanine Garofalo brings him up. But it's. It's so cool to see a guy who's not. Not there yet all the way. You get to see like, gives you hope. Early days. Yeah, like those old Louie sets where he's in Boston. He's got a orange flat top. Crazy. He goes, he walks up and he goes. He goes. These are dolphin jokes. Come on, folks, where are you? And you're like, wow. Louis thought that was good. At what point? You know, like this brilliant comedian, but you got to start somewhere.

[Sam Morril]

And he was kind of alti back in the day.

[Chris D'Elia]

Very. Altogether, he was a weirdo for sure.

[Sam Morril]

The best comics were kind of able to go both rooms, you know.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's true. Yeah. Good luck. Good luck finding this. Oh, oh.

[Sam Morril]

You got any wrecks in the meantime?

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah. Well, the, the go see the Murphy doc. It's on Netflix. It's great. Oh, this is it.

[Sam Morril]

This is it. Yeah. No, I thought this was a premium blend.

[Chris D'Elia]

That was still Tennessee last week. I just got back. Oh, maybe you're right.

[Sam Morril]

Morning.

[Chris D'Elia]

This is Comedy Central time at the club down there. And it wasn't by popular demand. It was because of rotation. That's what brought me back. Did radio interviews. I walked into the studio to do an interview. The DJs first question was, who are you? I had to think, you know, this guy really deep.

What did I drive to the wrong station.

I would have flipped that. I would have put deep second.

[Mark Normand]

So how would you do it?

[Sam Morril]

Same here.

[Chris D'Elia]

I had to think about that. Is this guy not know where I am or is he really deep?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

But again, he's. He's green.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And the delivery is like definitely. It's like when you hear Early Dangerfield and he didn't have the rhythm yet.

[Chris D'Elia]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

It's like you didn't. You got to find your rhythm.

[Chris D'Elia]

But good for them for giving this guy a chance because he's still pretty weird.

[Mark Normand]

But it's like Sam said, you have to bomb before you figure it out.

[Chris D'Elia]

Of course.

[Mark Normand]

So he's sort of. He's not bombing.

[Sam Morril]

Adapt and you mold it to what's.

[Chris D'Elia]

What's working, what's.

[Sam Morril]

They're receiving. Right. It's like that's why you can't just take someone else's. That it's kind of dark to do that.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know it's dark. He won't. He's not absorbing at this fucking kid. But I don't give this guy anymore.

[Sam Morril]

They got to find footage of him before. Like, there's no way. You've talked like this your whole life.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, true. I guarantee it. He has a pod now. He does. When he just talks like that for an hour. It's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

It's weird, man. It's like. It's not. It's like way we talk about like the Slater, Christian Slater, Jack Nichols, and I'm like, this ain't. This is a hundred times worse.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, so much worse. Yeah. And I think there's a thing going on where Gen Z is so young and everything that they don't know who these old guys are. And a lot of these, these younger people don't go backwards.

[Sam Morril]

Well, there's some legends not to name names. There's some legends who have taken someone else's cadence and never really shaken.

[Chris D'Elia]

Sure, sure.

[Sam Morril]

So it's like, all right, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Hedberg died in 2005.

[Chris D'Elia]

There you go.

[Mark Normand]

20 year olds were born.

[Chris D'Elia]

Right, right.

[Mark Normand]

Never didn't.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

Never Knew Hedberg or 9 11.

[Chris D'Elia]

Crazy.

Yeah. Well, now, this might be controversial, but.

[Sam Morril]

But you like 9 11.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes, but. Yeah.

Dave Chappelle.

Thanked Tony woods and said, I'm doing you.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. He said it publicly and he's like, let me. Let me give you a. Get you a Netflix special. And did he. And Wood said no. He's like, I'm good. I'm not ready or whatever.

[Sam Morril]

He's not ready.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's what he said, tony woods is not ready. Yeah, he's like, ah, he doesn't like tapings. He's a live guy.

[Sam Morril]

Murder, dude.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, he's a killer. But yeah, Chappelle was like, wow, you're the guy.

[Sam Morril]

That's pretty cool.

[Chris D'Elia]

Huge influence. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Dc. Yeah. Tony was definitely one of the guys.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Still is.

[Chris D'Elia]

Still is. Yeah, I saw him the Vu Murdering.

[Sam Morril]

Like, yeah, he's funny.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Classic old school comic. Yeah. Dude, what do you got?

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh.

Oh, is that Sagalo?

[Sam Morril]

The Rizzlers got some competition, dude.

[Chris D'Elia]

Whoa, who's this? Is he Asian?

[Sam Morril]

Something about a little pudgy kid dancing. That's pretty damn cool. Oh, yeah, dude, this is me after hours with Ruby the other night.

[Chris D'Elia]

So is this the Lizzler?

[Sam Morril]

I like this kid.

[Chris D'Elia]

This kid's good. He's smooth.

[Sam Morril]

The fun thing about a chubby kid is when they do show like this, it is extra cute.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, he's adorable.

[Mark Normand]

Peter said, I bet we could get him.

[Sam Morril]

We just lied. The Rizzler came.

[Chris D'Elia]

He's sleepy.

Oh, man, he's feeling it.

[Sam Morril]

We got blown off by the Rizzler many times, huh?

[Chris D'Elia]

Thrice.

[Sam Morril]

But I thought. But once he sent in that video, I felt bad. He looked exactly exhausted.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know. I think they hit him with a cattle prod.

[Mark Normand]

This kid at least has energy.

[Sam Morril]

The Whizzler's sleeping. His dad's like, come on, come on. He's like, oh, all right. Sam, Mark. Sorry I couldn't make it. It's a pixie. It's a pixie stick.

This is amazing.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's like, mesmerizing. I can't stop staring and it's like, lulling me to sleep.

[Sam Morril]

He's. He's going too.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, he's back.

[Chris D'Elia]

If you told me that was Kim Jong Un, I'd believe you. Same body, same hair.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. He doesn't have a lot of moves, but what he has is just. It's working, dude.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's working.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's it for him.

[Sam Morril]

Do you have the Martin Luther King thing?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, no.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, what's that?

[Sam Morril]

I sent it to you, didn't I?

[Mark Normand]

Says mirror him.

[Sam Morril]

Send a one. You can.

[Chris D'Elia]

We make that kid like our. Our loading, you know, Video is loading. It's just that kid.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Some of these a. Some of this AI. I sent it to one of you cuz I was like, that's. It's crazy. No, no, no, I sent it. Pull it up, cuz it's an exact clip. It's really good. We didn't do this yet, did we? No.

[Chris D'Elia]

Mlk. AI. Huh?

[Sam Morril]

It's crazy.

[Chris D'Elia]

All right.

[Sam Morril]

I texted to you. Peters, I think. Or Salacuse.

Boom. I got a good wreck in the meantime.

[Chris D'Elia]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Two wrecks. Oh, both Elmore Leonard books. The fucking king. 52 pickups. Incredible. If you haven't I've heard of it. It's fucking incredible. They made a movie about it with Roy scheider in the 80s, I guess.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, wow.

[Sam Morril]

The movie was well received. That and Glitz are both awesome.

[Chris D'Elia]

Glitz?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, they're both sick ass. Just fun. Like, if you like scummy noir type. I know I say that word a lot. If you like scummy kind of crime books. So it's fun. It's just. It's like if you're on vacation, bring one.

[Mark Normand]

I guess.

[Sam Morril]

Not that long, right? Glitz is a little longer. Food you pick up is like that. And it's lights out.

[Chris D'Elia]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Loved it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Now where are you doing the reading? On the plane or the toilet?

[Sam Morril]

A lot of plane.

[Chris D'Elia]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, here we go.

[Chris D'Elia]

I ain't got no dreams no more.

[Sam Morril]

I am the dream.

[Chris D'Elia]

Man.

[Sam Morril]

Let it go again. You want to know the truth? I ain't got no dreams no more I am the dream.

[Chris D'Elia]

Did he just say that?

[Sam Morril]

I love, like, who the idea is, is heal. Martin Luther King.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

It's amazing.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's brilliant. And they even made the sound bad to make it seem more real.

[Mark Normand]

Martin Luther King of the ring.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So stupid. They. Yeah, they have one of. They have a lot of, like, wrestling heel ones now.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, nice.

[Sam Morril]

Like jfk. They got a bunch of people.

[Chris D'Elia]

See, AI is going to take us over and kill us. But it's funny. That's no other thing that's going to, like, this existential threat has been hilarious.

[Sam Morril]

That's the problem is it's. We're letting our guard down. Look how funny that is killing you, you idiots.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's also pretty hot too. Sometimes, like, we're getting fucked in the ass by this thing that's going to kill us.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my God. Sometimes, like a girl will pop up on Instagram and she's like insanely hot.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Click on. I'm like, oh, that's not a real person.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know. That's bad.

[Sam Morril]

That's. I mean, we knew a guy. I don't want to say his name. We knew a guy who got straight up catfished by a woman.

[Chris D'Elia]

Ooh.

[Sam Morril]

And I was like that, you know, much easier that's gonna get. Oh, yeah.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Especially with, like, AI just the way they know how to respond. I'm like, oh, that's scary, dude.

[Chris D'Elia]

Did you hear about the ice videos? There's all these ice videos of like a kid getting ripped out of a classroom, his mom crying. I'm like, this is horrible. Oh, my God. And it's all AI. It totally tricked me.

[Sam Morril]

It was. It was Martin Luther King taking the kids out.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He's like, come with me.

[Chris D'Elia]

This kid is my dream.

[Sam Morril]

It was luchador mlk. He had a mask on.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. AI is fucking amazing. It's. It's getting good. Better and better. And we're screwed.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, we're in trouble, man. This ain't great.

[Chris D'Elia]

I think they got a watermark it. That's gonna become a law. They gotta put a thing on there or else we're just gonna keep getting tricked.

[Mark Normand]

Speaking of luchador.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. My God. It's like a dinosaur foot.

[Sam Morril]

It's like fucking Gary Oldman at the end of Slow Horses. Yuck. What is happening there?

[Mark Normand]

He's getting a little foot rubby.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, there he is. All right.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. I'm telling you, this is really where he shines. This is. This is his weekend.

[Sam Morril]

He had a blast.

[Chris D'Elia]

Oh, yeah. He walks around with a fucking cowboy hat. One year he was on a horse and he's like greeting everybody. He gets carried on a throne. I mean, it's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

I love it. That's awesome.

[Chris D'Elia]

It was a five crowd surf for the first time. I've never done it before. It is thrilling.

[Sam Morril]

Did you dive?

[Chris D'Elia]

I dove backwards. I just went in backwards. That's the key. And I was getting a little wonky. Then I. A hand reached out and it got my foot in my hand. It was list. He pulled me back on stage. It was.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Chris D'Elia]

It was exciting.

[Sam Morril]

That's crazy.

[Chris D'Elia]

It was the show highlights. Well, the goddamn Comedy Jam. The last one. There it is. Oh, there's me out there. See? This Friday in San Diego.

[Sam Morril]

Is that the makeup for the Shane date or is that. That was San Jose.

[Chris D'Elia]

That was San Jose. I love. I do well in San Diego. I don't know what is about that town.

[Sam Morril]

I love it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Great town. And it's the beach and the coast and all that. La Jolla is incredible. I love the burritos.

Yeah. Just so fun. The last Comedy Jam, all the comics got on stage and just got to rock out at the end and sing. And the crowd was going nuts. And we all dove in. The crowd did. Are you garbage out There was like lights out. Everybody's so fun. We did a Tuesdays. I sold A ton of bodega cat.

[Sam Morril]

Whoa.

[Chris D'Elia]

Ton of bodega cat.

[Sam Morril]

Merch.

[Chris D'Elia]

Made thousands of merch. Because I was out there. You're drunk in the day, so you're just like, I'll sign anything. I'm throwing shirts. T shirt cannon, the whole thing. It was in New Orleans, which was great. You gotta. You get to go to the quarter at night. You have great meals for lunch, and then you go to the fest and.

[Sam Morril]

You hit Koshawn Bush Butcher.

[Chris D'Elia]

I didn't, but I. I walked by it drunk, and I was like, hey, still open. One of the best. So good.

[Sam Morril]

Get a good muffalada.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes. And it was right by there, too, the whole fest, so. Damn, dude, the city was perfect. I think they're doing it there next year. It was the best one by far.

[Sam Morril]

Is kind of cool because it's not. There's no real scene there for comedy.

[Chris D'Elia]

No.

[Sam Morril]

Kind of bringing it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. And I always say, New Orleans is crazy. Skank fest is crazy. So it was like a speed bump. It was like if you do coke and heroin, you know, it was just extra fun.

[Sam Morril]

It was amazing.

[Chris D'Elia]

This boxing ring going on with just fat.

[Sam Morril]

Fight.

[Chris D'Elia]

Lewis fought everybody fight. I don't know if some. Some guy I never heard of. And then, like, Jason Ellis is fighting. There's a. There's a women doing slap contest. I mean, it's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Chris D'Elia]

She got naked at the. The last show. There's Shane doing Rob Zombie. I mean, it was bananas. Two people flew there in private jets, which is also hilarious. Hilarious.

[Sam Morril]

Shane and Tim.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, hilarious. Now there's list. List is he can move.

[Sam Morril]

Dude. Look at all this.

[Chris D'Elia]

Just seeing a Tell and Stanhope interact, you know, it's fun. Brad Williams was. How did he not sing all the small things? That was my joke. And, yeah. Good times. Oh, look at that sag daddy does Lewis on the. On the ones and twos. There you go. Hey, we had Rachel there. We had Fahim there. We had Rosebud there. I mean, it was a good group.

[Sam Morril]

That's a good group. That is fun, man.

[Chris D'Elia]

All right. Well, there you go.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Chris D'Elia]

It was right on the water.

[Sam Morril]

Damn, dude.

[Chris D'Elia]

Bobby Lee bailed as a Muslim there. I mean, you had everybody.

You got to go back to Newark, Orleans. There's Holtzman, Duncan Trussell. Good times.

[Sam Morril]

Love it. Well, should we plug some gigs?

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Sam Morril]

What do we got? When does this come out?

[Chris D'Elia]

Pepitone. Oh, that's a nice highlight. You and Charlie Kirk.

[Sam Morril]

What?

[Chris D'Elia]

It's a good duo. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, added Omaha added.

Added Omaha, January 8th through 10th. Added Chicago again in February. Just as a work. I might do Zany's or something small just to work out for the app. Tampa Theater, February 27th. New special. Hope you come out. Two shows, so hope I see you there. That's gonna be a fun one. Tampa, baby. It's gonna be fun. Adding some more dates coming. We'll see what I can figure out. Last minute trying to add. I have nothing on the calendar. Really? So it's coming. It's all coming.

[Chris D'Elia]

Hell yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Punchup Live. Samorrel tickets.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yes, I'm on Punch up as well. I'm in Kansas City at the. What is that a funny boss? Then I'm in Des Moines in Iowa. Brea, California. That's a. That's a great time. Come on out to that. Orange County, Oregon, at the Grand Rond. Then New Brunswick, New Jersey. New Brunswick, San Antonio. Tulsa, Oklahoma. I don't think I've ever been there.

[Sam Morril]

Tulsa's great. You got to go to Andolini's Pizza, dude.

[Chris D'Elia]

There you go.

[Sam Morril]

Marco Slice. Fucking phenomenal. New Jersey guy making pizza in Tulsa. Much love to Tulsa.

[Chris D'Elia]

Amazing. All right, I'll be in Arizona at the Desert diamond, then Indianapolis at the Helium. Buffalo, New York. Portland, Maine. Sold out, I think. Providence, Rhode Island. The Vets. Kentucky. Lexington. Dania Beach, Florida. Spokane, Washington.

[Sam Morril]

You're coming it up. If we make this move, you're gonna have to cancel some dates, buddy.

[Chris D'Elia]

I'm ready. I'm ready to cancel.

[Sam Morril]

Good.

[Chris D'Elia]

That was in the. The contract. Milwaukee Improv. And then we're going to Irvine. So, yeah, come on out, say hello, queef it up.

[Sam Morril]

Cooking. I gotta get back out there. All right, I'm on it.

[Chris D'Elia]

I get so much work done at a club.

[Sam Morril]

Me too, man. That's why. But then you got to do it to Titan, too. It's tough.

[Chris D'Elia]

That's true.

[Sam Morril]

Knowing when to balance. But, yeah, I'm fired up, dude. Well, we love you guys. Buy some bodega cat. BodegaCatWhisky.com Shout out, Lartuzzi. Shout out. Strip House, Shade. All these great New York bars. All these bars around the country that are carrying it.

[Chris D'Elia]

Liquor stores.

Martin's wine cellar. We're in a couple of nola, too.

[Sam Morril]

And DM Bodegacat Whiskey on Instagram, you know, if you have any. If you want us in your bar, Matt Herman will handle it for us. Our buddy, Matt. And we got a lot of cool shit on the horizon here. So get bodega cat cooking. We got some cool new merch coming out.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're on it. We got a good team working on this shit, and I think it's gonna really make a splash.

[Sam Morril]

Thank God. Because we're fucking dumb.

[Chris D'Elia]

We're. It is.

[Sam Morril]

We're dumb people.

[Chris D'Elia]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

We're not good at this.

[Chris D'Elia]

No.

[Sam Morril]

But luckily we got people who are.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, but we'll hawk it. But we don't.

[Sam Morril]

We'll hawk to her.

[Chris D'Elia]

Yeah, that's it. Soul Trump, Hop.

[Sam Morril]

Hawk.

[Chris D'Elia]

Maga. Okay, we're done.

[Sam Morril]

We're done. Love you guys.

[Chris D'Elia]

Thank you.

I've had a little too much burping. And Norman's talking shit about the fucking post. And I get down in the same way up on the roof like the cops coming. And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans, and this woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way.

We might be.

[Sam Morril]

And Doug, here we have the Limu Imu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating.

[Chris D'Elia]

It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Sam Morril]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching him us. Cut the camera.

[Chris D'Elia]

They see us.

[Sam Morril]

Only pay for what you [e-mail].

Savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates.

[Mark Normand]

Excludes Massachusetts.