Ep 262: Jerry Seinfeld

Summary

We Might Be Drunk Ep. 262: Jerry Seinfeld

Date: December 15, 2025
Hosts: Mark Normand & Sam Morril
Guest: Jerry Seinfeld

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Overview

This episode features legendary stand-up comedian Jerry Seinfeld in a deep, freewheeling, and often hilarious conversation with New York comics Mark Normand and Sam Morril. The trio performs an insider’s tour through the world of stand-up: physicality on stage, the grueling process of writing and editing material, generational shifts in comedy, legendary comedians, the agony and ecstasy of the grind, and the mystery of what makes people laugh. Seasoned with memorable anecdotes, candid advice, and killer lines, this is a masterclass in how comedians work, survive, and thrive.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Physicality & Movement in Stand-Up

• Seinfeld on Stage Presence:

  • Jerry laments that podcast setups can be confining compared to the "free" movement of stand-up:

    "In comedy... it's about freedom." (00:22)

  • Movement is crucial for engagement:

    "It really. It keeps. It does keep them awake... I didn’t at the beginning... And then I realized, why am I not using this whole thing? I got to use it." (00:44)

  • Chris Rock’s constant pacing is admired as effective “cardio.” (00:56)

• Zoom Comedy & Lost Energy:

  • Mark rants about the limitations of Zoom gigs for comics:

    "You can't move. You're stuck." (01:29)

  • Brian: “We were so sick that we convinced ourself it wasn’t that bad during that time.” (01:32)

2. Shifting Norms: Bumper Stickers, Tipping, and The Never-Going-Back Principle

• Classic Car & Bumper Stickers:

  • Jerry shares about his vintage car’s “Nixon’s the One” bumper sticker, reminiscing about old-school humor.
  • Mark: “No fat chicks… Boob inspector…”—an era of bumper sticker jokes that’s now cringey nostalgia. (03:19)

• Modern Annoyances – Tipping Culture & Subtle Inflation:

  • They commiserate about digital tipping everywhere, declining free snacks at restaurants, and “deluxe” burgers costing extra for basics:

    Jerry: "Anything, any goddamn thing where they get in, you cannot get them out... They're not going back." (04:37)
    Mark: “Chips and salsa at every Mexican restaurant… Now it’s five bucks… Used to be free.” (05:12)

  • Observation: minor customer perks that vanish, never to return.

3. Process of Joke Writing & Audiences as Editors

• The Role of the Audience:

  • Seinfeld:

    “I don’t think people understand how much audiences write the act. You know, the act that you’re seeing is what the last hundred crowds liked.” (10:24)

  • The thrill (and frustration) of failing with new jokes, and how the crowd’s reaction is like “getting a report card.”

• Comedy as Translation of the Unknowable:

  • Mark: “Why is it so hard for us to write down funny ideas... then the audience goes, ‘no’?” (10:40)
  • Jerry points out: “No one really knows what’s funny... You cut kind of a cross filter. If you can get by both of us [Larry David and Jerry], we thought, okay, that’s probably got a chance.” (11:22)

• Collaborating and Bouncing Bits:

  • Comics used to bounce bits around in coffee shops; it’s rarer now with the splintered scene.
  • “Never met a comedian who didn’t like to bounce stuff around.” (11:42)

4. Stand-Up as Physical & Mental Challenge

• The Longevity & Physicality of Comedy:

  • Jerry muses on stamina:

    “Comedy is a concentration of energy...a punchline is like a punch... It takes energy to do it.” (53:41)

  • As comics age, physical decline can dull comedic delivery.

• The Psychological Toll:

  • Stand-up as masochism:

    “It hardens you mentally, physically, emotionally. You’re just getting beat up.” (18:58)

5. Failure, Bombing, and Resilience

• Bombing as a Recalibration Tool:

  • Jerry compares bombing to bowling alley bumpers:

    “You can’t go too far. It’s going to knock you back the other way.” (22:38)

  • Both the vulnerability and necessity of enduring public failure.

• Post-Special Funk:

  • Discussion on the emotional crash after releasing a stand-up special and the struggle to build new material:

    “It sucks to end on the bad one that night. If you do a couple...” (22:12) "You're in a little postpartum funk afterwards." (25:26)

6. Generational Shifts: Craft & Output

• Production Line Comedy:
  • Seinfeld notes his generation’s focus on quality and detail, contrasting with the current high-output, annual-special culture:

    "I'm talking about detail, quality, flow, rhythm. Things that are just not important, honestly." (64:09)

• Mark: “But think about how much more you’d have if you were efficient.” (64:03)

7. Comedic Heroes, Legends, and the Evolution of the Craft

• Legends Discussed:

  • Carlin (his perfectionism, political edge, and late-career self-indulgence), Rodney Dangerfield, Jim Gaffigan’s clean material, Richard Pryor’s willingness to bomb as a form of artistic courage, and the difference between comedians who needed stand-up and those who didn’t.

• Admiration for Physical Comics:

  • Shoutouts to legends like Sinbad, Michael Richards, Will Ferrell, and Sebastian Maniscalco for their physicality and risk-taking.

8. "Clean" Comedy as Style

• Jerry resists being pigeonholed as judgmental for clean comedy:

  "It's just like, it forces me to be elegant and interesting in a way that I like to be." (77:48)

• Prefers cleverness over shock for its own sake.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Comedy as Suffering:

  “I want to be that guy that can suffer for a long period of time. I want to be that guy.”
  — Jerry Seinfeld (100:11)

• On Joke Evolution:

  "You know, the act that you’re seeing is what the last hundred crowds liked."
  — Jerry Seinfeld (10:24)

• On the Podcast Medium vs. Stand-Up:

  "This is the worst part of the podcast world... it's just that you're… set in a spot… In comedy, we… it’s about freedom.”
  — Jerry Seinfeld (00:06–00:22)

• On Audience Collaboration:

  “Isn’t it amazing what they can communicate? It’s kind of like a dog. Audiences do the same thing… weird sounds that just say: 'yeah, but that idea, but different.’”
  — Jerry Seinfeld (09:19–09:37)

• On Writing Bits About Love:

  "Do a bit about how much you love something and make it funny. Ooh, I’ve done a couple of those and that’s really fun..."
  — Jerry Seinfeld (56:10)

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Detailed Segments & Timestamps

Physicality & Stagecraft

• 00:06–01:00: Podcast setups vs. stage movement, Seinfeld's advice for younger comics, Chris Rock as a mover onstage.

The Pandemic, Zoom Gigs, & Comedy Lockdown

• 01:02–01:55: Disdain for Zoom gigs; reminiscing on post-lockdown, first shows.

Social Changes & Comedy Annoyances

• 03:04–06:10: Bumper sticker nostalgia, tipping invasiveness, commoditization of previous "freebies."

The Audience Writes the Act

• 09:49–11:22: How crowds shape, edit, and essentially co-write the act every night.

The Art of Joke Writing

• 10:51–11:22: On the unpredictability of what lands, and the need for multiple perspectives in the writing process.

Comedy as a Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Grind

• 18:58–20:03: Resilience, masochism, baseball analogies, and the bruising life of the comic.

Bombing, Failure, and the Comedy Ego

• 22:00–23:03: Seinfeld, Mark, and Brian swap stories about bombing, why it's necessary, and how it's the most honest editorial process.

Stand-Up Generations: Then and Now

• 24:03–26:26: The contemporary pace for new hours and specials versus the careful crafting of material in the past.

Legends and the Stand-Up Canon

• 30:44–34:41: Carlin’s legacy, changing audience sophistication, classic specials and recurring premises.

Marriage, Family, and the Comedic Lifestyle

• 58:30–84:41: Navigating marriage, vices, the complexity of relationships for a touring stand-up.

The Rituals and Work Ethic of a Legend

• 85:59–87:14: Jerry’s daily writing routine (pen and pad, coffee as ritual), and exercise as both physical outlet and replacement vice.

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Jerry’s Advice Highlights

• On Endurance: “The only thing that matters is that struggle that you have adapted yourself to the struggle and you’re comfortable with it. It’s very Zen.” (99:46)
• On Clean Comedy: “It forces me to be elegant and interesting in a way that I like to be.” (77:48)
• On Productivity: “I do not want to be an efficient producer of comedy. I want it to look like… he must have spent so much time on that.” (63:53)

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Closing Reflections

Jerry Seinfeld, Mark Normand, and Sam Morril deliver a brisk, old-school deep-dive for comedy nerds and creators alike. The major themes: the physicality necessary for stand-up, the vital but punishing role of bombing and failure, the ever-shifting standards of jokes and professionalism, and the necessity of loving the struggle rather than just the result. All three ultimately reveal a profound affection for their craft and for the winding, uncertain journey in search of laughs.

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Essential Episode Timestamps

• Movement in Stand-up: 00:22–01:00
• Zoom Gigs & Pandemic: 01:29–01:55
• Tipping Culture: 04:18–05:16
• On Bombing & Recovery: 22:00–23:00
• Jerry’s Writing Process: 85:59–87:14
• Comedy as Suffering (Zen): 99:46–100:32
• Defining Stand-up vs. Daily Show: 95:24–95:40

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For comedy fans and creators, this episode is a well of insight, affirmation, and raw honesty, all shaded with the unmatched observational wit of Jerry Seinfeld.

Transcript

[Jerry Seinfeld]

This is the worst part of the podcast world.

[Mark Normand]

What's that?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's just that you're. You're. You're set in a spot. You're like. You stay here. It's like a dog, right? You sit. You stay here.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

In comedy, we. It's free. It's about freedom.

[Brian Redban]

I don't move a ton, though. Do you move a lot?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, I guess you do. You told me to move more.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's boring watching someone stand there.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, man.

[Mark Normand]

Wait for him. He's planted like a magnet on the ground.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You gotta walk.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he doesn't walk.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It really. It keeps. It does keep them awake. I mean, I didn't at the beginning, when I first started playing theaters, I didn't. And. And then I realized, why am I not using this whole thing? I got to use it.

[Mark Normand]

Look at Chris Rock. I mean, that guy never stops.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, he's a stomper.

[Brian Redban]

That's cardio.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He likes. He likes to march around, but that's.

[Mark Normand]

Why I hate Zoom. Com. Do you ever do a Zoom gig? Who am I talking to?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Why the hell would you.

[Mark Normand]

Do not do that.

[Brian Redban]

He didn't have to compromise.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Let's start with an introduction here of who's here.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So you know who's here?

[Mark Normand]

I think people know Gig.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, no, people did them. A lot of people. People did.

[Brian Redban]

Leno did him.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, I know.

[Mark Normand]

He's a psycho, I think.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Did Gaffigan do him, too?

[Mark Normand]

I bet he did.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. But my point is, you can't move. You're stuck.

[Brian Redban]

We were so sick that we convinced ourself it wasn't that bad during that time.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, right.

[Brian Redban]

I mean, I knew it was bad, but I was like, that wasn't that bad.

[Mark Normand]

Well, it's basically the crackhead digging at the bottom of the. The pipe. You know, we're just trying to get some. Some resin, some hit.

[Brian Redban]

I was on the first show back. You were the first comic on At Gotham, the first show back from COVID Yeah, you were the first. You went on before because it was, like, symbolic, I think.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Wow. I don't remember that.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, no, no. I didn't do a set that night. No, I just did it. Did a thing for money for Broadway, and he had some bill to get money for people. So I came in. I remember I didn't take the mask off. It was a bunch of people.

[Brian Redban]

No, Jude Judah's still wearing a mask.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, that's good. That tells you and informs you of what you're gonna.

[Mark Normand]

What you got, you know?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, it's like the trucks with the big balls hanging in the back, you know? Okay, I know who I'm dealing with here.

[Mark Normand]

Anti Semite, clearly. Yeah. I. I have this classic card. I. I want to put bumper stickers on it, but I don't want to be that guy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Why? What. What kind of bumper stickers?

[Mark Normand]

Well, just funny bumper stickers. People give me stuff.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Bumper stickers?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, the show. I want to put the podcast.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

This is breaking, this funny bumper.

[Brian Redban]

Are you really looking at bumper stickers?

[Mark Normand]

I'm a big bumper sticker guy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Old ones.

[Mark Normand]

Old ones, yeah, they're cool. But then I don't want to, you know, ruin the car, ruin the bumper.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I just bought a 63 VW Beetle, okay. That has Nixon's the One bumper sticker.

[Mark Normand]

See, that's cool.

[Brian Redban]

That is cool.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. I mean, it's a real thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it's a real old.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, he was. What would you get? What is funny? Tell me what's funny.

[Mark Normand]

No fat chicks. You know, something like that. Something fun. Boob inspector.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Grass or ass.

[Mark Normand]

Nobody rides for free.

[Brian Redban]

I don't even think I know any bumper stickers.

[Mark Normand]

Well, you're a Manhattanite.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Motorcycles were big. I lived on the highway in Louisiana. I was always on the highway.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, so there they are. So that's how you do it on this show. You got a Googler?

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Google bitch, we call them.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

We had this. I first experienced this at DreamWorks in 2005 when I was making Bee movie. And it was still kind of a thing. And whatever we'd be talking about, they'd have somebody Googling it. Oh, but he didn't have a screen. He just kept turning it around. And we called him Swivelly Googler.

[Mark Normand]

Sounds like a Harry Potter guy. Swively Googler. Well, now they turn the tip thing around. You see, in this. I'm sure you got 20 minutes on the tip flip. You know that at Starbucks where they flip the screen?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And it says 18%, 20%, 25%.

[Brian Redban]

I saw one recently that was. It was, I think, 25, 50, 75.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Come on.

[Mark Normand]

75.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. It was insane.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Where in Dubai?

[Mark Normand]

Come on. Yeah, everything's tipped now.

[Brian Redban]

Everything's tipped.

[Mark Normand]

The service got worse.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Anything. Any goddamn thing where they get in, you cannot get them out.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

They. They got away with it. And that's it. And they're taking the money. I was just reading on the way down, I. You watch Red Zone on Sunday, right?

[Brian Redban]

Sometimes they.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So they put commercials on it.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's like $280 for this channel to watch football with no commercials.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And they said, well, you won't notice it. But now they're all. But that's it. They're not going back. Nobody goes back.

[Mark Normand]

They don't go back.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No.

[Mark Normand]

I'll give you a couple more examples.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Chips and salsa at every Mexican restaurant they put on the table. Now it's five bucks.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Is it?

[Mark Normand]

They never go back because you want the chips and salsa. You pay the money and.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But do you have to order it?

[Mark Normand]

You have to order it. Hit the table.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

If you asking for it, then I don't mind paying. But don't put it down and then.

[Mark Normand]

Sure, sure. Yeah. But it used to be free. It's my point.

[Brian Redban]

It's such a nice touch. They ever go to a restaurant and they just have, like, random appetizers that you didn't order. Like, there's an Italian place downtown. They just, like, the food's a little more expensive, but then they bring out, like, cheese and.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that is nice. That's a nice touch.

[Brian Redban]

It's a nice surprise.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What was the other one?

[Mark Normand]

I got a couple of these. I've been Right. Making a list, checking it twice.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

The.

[Mark Normand]

The burger at a diner used to come with, you know, pickle, lettuce and a tomato. Now that's deluxe. Now it's a deluxe burger. So you have to order more or pay more.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, boy, things are tough.

[Mark Normand]

I'm not done.

[Brian Redban]

He got this from you. We both watched you growing up and we're like, it's okay to complain.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yes, it is. Okay.

[Mark Normand]

You know, how about the hotel? The check in and now is at 4. 4, and then the checkout is at 11. So there. The window is getting smaller, but the price is going up.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You're not. You're paying for what, 17 hours.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, 20 hours if you're lucky.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Is he doing me? Is he trying to do.

[Brian Redban]

He's been doing you for 15 years.

[Mark Normand]

No, I'm serious. These are all things that have changed and they'll never go back.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But people must do a lot. There must be a lot of comics doing the tip thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yo. Yeah, sure.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah. When the self checkout was a thing. That was. Every comic had that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right, right.

[Mark Normand]

I gotta check. Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What's the best one that you heard?

[Brian Redban]

A good one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I don't work here. You. You do it. Why am I doing your job?

[Brian Redban]

It was a better. It was like a better version of that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I did that in the movie theater decades Ago.

[Brian Redban]

Yes. Dropping the popcorn at the Oscars.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's right.

[Brian Redban]

I remember.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That was 2007. B movie, same. Same era.

[Mark Normand]

How rough is that crowd? Is that brutal?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's, you know, it's a corporate right for Inconvenient Truth. Who's Al Gore?

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Remember that started the whole green.

[Mark Normand]

Sure, sure.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Climate change, the category.

[Brian Redban]

When you're up at the Oscars, who are you looking for in the crowd? They're like, I hope I can get a laugh out of this person.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I don't look. Yeah, I'm listening. I listen. I don't look.

[Mark Normand]

All right, so I got a joke on with Gervais. Did it. Or the Golden Globes or one of those. I sent him a couple jokes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And one of my jokes, they show Tom Hanks and he goes, oof.

[Brian Redban]

It was about him being a pedophile. That's why.

[Mark Normand]

Wasn't far off. But, yeah, that was a hit for me. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Damn, that's rough. But I remember Schumer did a roast once. We were at that roast with her. It was at the hotel by here. And gave her a line on the way. And she did it. And I just saw her look at me. I was just like, I'm sorry. Just nothing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, well, you tried.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I was given a line by Nick DePaolo. And you know, when someone gives you a line, it's a beautiful thing.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Especially when it works.

[Mark Normand]

When it works.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And isn't it true that whenever you do the line, there's a little bubble with their face in it?

[Mark Normand]

Yes. In your head. Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You see that person. Well, this is the greatest line I've ever been given. And it's a really good line. But he should have the credit because he gave it to me. He's told me, you know the line.

[Mark Normand]

I know the line.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

The coffin and the eulogy. The, number one fear is speaking in front of people. Number two is death. And I don't remember what I had.

[Brian Redban]

I don't.

[Mark Normand]

Which. Does it hurt you? Does it sting a little that you didn't come up with it, though?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No.

[Mark Normand]

A little.

[Brian Redban]

It was your premise, though.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So he gave me. You know, that means if you're going to a funeral, you'd rather be in the coffin than doing the eulogy.

[Brian Redban]

It's a great line.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, it's a great line.

[Mark Normand]

That's great.

[Brian Redban]

So it's like, God, see, ever with a bit, you just over complicate things and you're like, that was it. I know the most simple thing is usually.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But isn't it amazing? How the audience tells you that.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Isn't it amazing what they can communicate? It's kind of like a dog. You know, dogs look at you and you can kind of form sentences from their face.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I think he wants to go out. You know, he's just looking at you a certain way.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Audiences do the same thing. They just make weird sounds.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That just say, yeah, but that idea, but different. Right. Or that idea, but faster or not that idea. We like the way you got into it, but we don't like where it went.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

The amount of information when especially I find what I love when you go on to try new stuff and it's a total mess.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know what I mean? You can't remember it. You're all over the place.

[Brian Redban]

How often does that for you, though? Because I feel like your stuff, even when I see you work out, it seems pretty polished.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, no, most of the time, I mean, I have stuff at different. Everything's at a different level, obviously. But the first time, sometimes it gets really messy. But still they. You come off and it's like someone just hands you a report.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right in your head. Like, here's what you need to fix. Here's what we liked. I don't think people understand how much audiences write the act. You know, the act that you're seeing is what the last hundred crowds liked.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's what you're gonna see tonight.

[Mark Normand]

But why is it so hard for us to write down funny ideas, funny jokes? And then the audience goes, no. And I'm like, how did I not predict this? Why is that such a hard.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, because you're dealing with translation. Because you're dealing with something that no one understands, really. No one really knows what's funny. I mean, we. We can be pretty sure. Yeah, that's about as good as it gets. I'm pretty sure. That's why, you know, to write a lot of stuff, I think, like, if you write like when Larry and I did the show, between the two of us. So you got a. You cut kind of a cross filter. If you can get by both of us, we thought, okay, that's probably got a chance.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But just one person is not enough.

[Mark Normand]

It really isn't. And you could do it for what, 50 years? What are you at 50 years? Yeah, it's still. You think, you know, you still don't know.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No.

[Brian Redban]

We used to bounce bits in coffee shops all the time when we were starting out. Was there a comic you did that with early on?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Every. Every comic I know Was there like.

[Brian Redban]

A go to guy was shandling one of them?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Gary loves to bounce. I never met a comedian didn't like to bounce stuff around.

[Brian Redban]

I feel like not everyone does it anymore.

[Mark Normand]

No. Everything's so splintered now. Everything's very.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I was watching Sebastian's new special which is fantastic on Hulu.

[Mark Normand]

Oh yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It ain't right. And I got upset because, you know, when you watch a comic, you just see jokes so easily that they somehow missed. And it's just you can't see everything from the inside. But. So he has this great bit about a dinner and people say I'll venmo, you know, the money.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And he says, well, what if the guy dies? I'm at the funeral and I got to go up to the widow and go, listen, you know, I'm sorry for your loss. And I wanted to add. But I don't want it to be my loss.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's a good laugh there. And it's already shot and aired.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, Maybe we can re edit.

[Brian Redban]

He could tell that at a corporate or something.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, I gotta call him later. Yeah, it's a really funny show. I like, you know, he's really comfortable. Yeah, I love a comedian. You could tell. You know what? You could tell he's been working a lot. I love that look.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. You can see it, right?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You can see a guy that's been working a lot or a woman or who's been laying off.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

There's no hiding it, you know, there's just. It's the way your feet move on the floor.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

When you start moving them.

[Mark Normand]

I'll try.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Well, what a lumber.

[Brian Redban]

I'm going to focus on that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You have to. Really, you have to.

[Brian Redban]

Well, actually did it. We were just talking. We just did a similar gig in Reno at a casino.

[Mark Normand]

And not bragging.

[Brian Redban]

That wasn't the story.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But. But there's no similar gigs in Reno. They're all the same. But we.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I was moving a little more because it was kind of a very horizontal room. So I kind of had to.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And you're like, oh, this actually, it doesn't feel that bad. And I had to give a little more energy because it's a casino. You just feel like you have to.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Give a little more. But it's a form of punctuation that you're. That you're not using. That you should use. You should use everything you have because you don't have much, you know.

[Mark Normand]

Well, you don't hop the stool.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Slow down. Yeah, no, but don't you love how many different things the stool has been.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And the mic stand.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Let's do some favorites of that.

[Mark Normand]

Ornie Adams with the big cell phone. Remember that one? Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Leno used to do one with the. The key to the men's room. It's on the end of this ring. And don't try and steal it. Used to pick up the stool.

[Mark Normand]

That's great. That's great.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And who used to do. You're a good comedy historian. Somebody used to do. Might have been Sinbad, the Weatherman in a Storm. And he got on the stool horizontally and did the weather report. You know, he was holding onto the mic stand like a pole. That was great.

[Mark Normand]

That's a risk.

[Brian Redban]

If that doesn't hit, you just look like an idiot. You got to respect that risk.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

There's this comic, Nick Vadarat, and he would just go. I remember, like, open mics, he would go so big. And I admired it so much because it'd be like four people in a room. So when that. When I bomb a joke, you just bomb. It's whatever. Yeah, but when he bombed a joke, you, like. You're like, oh, that's rough.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Brian Redban]

Killed for four people. You just were like, this is incredible.

[Mark Normand]

It was incredible. Well, that's the thing about the stools. We all. We're not huge fans of prop comedy, but you're allowed to use that. That's all we have. Yeah, it was already there.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And if you can find something that no one's done with it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's a great experience.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Because you're working within the rules. You're not bringing a prop. You're using one of the props.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

And anytime you get hit yourself in the head with the mic and you get that thump that kills.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Well, then you'll love Bobby Collins.

[Mark Normand]

I've never done it, but it works.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I'm using the mic as a PlayStation Now. No, a Game Boy.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

The Game Boy controller for the Titanic submersible ship.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He actually had. He actually.

[Brian Redban]

There's an Xbox controller.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, he had an Xbox.

[Brian Redban]

Crazy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But I thought Game Boy was funnier.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, Game Boy is a funnier word.

[Mark Normand]

What was. There was another. Oh, I opened for JB Smooth for a while. And remember when the Segway came out?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He would do the mic stand. Segway. And it would crush. Crush.

[Brian Redban]

He's great with physicality.

[Mark Normand]

It's tough.

[Brian Redban]

It's tough.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What's tough?

[Brian Redban]

I mean, not everyone has it. Not everyone I mean, I guess within your body you can figure it out, but not everyone is. It's not. It's not gonna play for everyone like Sebastian. Not everyone can move like Sebastian.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No. No one.

[Brian Redban]

You know, it's. But yeah, Marcello did a pretty funny Sebastian. Did you see that?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, of course I saw it. It's so wonderful.

[Mark Normand]

It went crazy viral.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know what it reminded me of? It reminded me of when Will Ferrell and Sherry o' Terry started doing the Cheerleader. I thought it was like a bubble of life, that show. You know, that show goes through its iterations.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And that suddenly kind of was like a little defibrillation. It was like, I think the body might not be dead.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Will Ferrell just went so big. It's. It's. Yeah, it's cool. It's so different than, you know, than other kinds of stand up. This is so cool to see a guy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Will. Tried to do stand up in the early days.

[Brian Redban]

Did he?

[Mark Normand]

Couldn't do it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Well, it's a different animal.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's a. It's a beastly animal.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. It's a blue collar job.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It is. It is. Well, you proved that.

[Mark Normand]

Well, didn't Greg Kinnear try as well?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Sure had to. Anybody that could talk.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Michael Keaton.

[Brian Redban]

But you find your thing. I mean, he's great in a lot of movies. You know, everyone's got their thing. You know, not everyone, but not everyone. Not everyone.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

In fact, hardly anyone.

[Mark Normand]

That is true.

[Brian Redban]

But didn't Michael Keaton do it or he just do it for the movie?

[Mark Normand]

He did it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, he was good. He was funny, too.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He used to have a bit about gangsters, the way gangsters would talk in old movies. Yeah, yeah, we'll do it that way. See, something like that. I can't remember it. Yeah, yeah, that was the 70s.

[Mark Normand]

But that's the thing is, you know, stand up is so much work.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Comic, doesn't he?

[Mark Normand]

He does, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He looks like a comic there.

[Brian Redban]

Well, he's in those eight, that movie with Henry Winkler. He's so funny in that movie Night Shift.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that broke him out. Yeah, but no one wants to stick with stand up. That's the thing. You got to need it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Even standups don't want to stick with it.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly, exactly. I think because it's just so much failure. You're just going against the waves over and over. And I think eventually people go, I can't do that again.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yes, but it's a brutal physical challenge. It's a physical challenge weekly.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I remember when I was doing the series, getting towards the end, and you're sitting there in that high director's chair, and someone came up to me and said, what kind of water would you like? And I just thought, I gotta get out. Yeah, I'm gonna turn into Jabba the Hutt, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What I like about, What I love about. I love everything about stand up, but I love that it hardens you mentally, physically, emotionally. You're just getting beat up.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And I. I don't know if that's a little tinge of masochism a little bit, but it's like baseball too, you know, if you want to. Can you believe. I mean, think about. I don't know. Did you watch the World Series?

[Mark Normand]

I saw the last game.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Okay. Iser Kiner, Falefa the lead off of third.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Two inches from the world championship. Two inches away. And he was a foot. His lead was so short. You know, this has been done. The death on the.

[Brian Redban]

No, the home. The picture at home plate is like.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He didn't have to slide. So when. And I know a guy who's a sports psychologist, I said, when does he ever get that at. When will he get that out of his mind? Athlete, you have to be able to do that.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And he said he needs trauma therapy. I mean, wouldn't you if you were.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, those, those field goals, super bowl, missing field goals. Buffalo Bill.

[Brian Redban]

Bill Buckner.

[Mark Normand]

Bill Buckner, Sure.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Larry did a funny bit with him.

[Brian Redban]

That was great. Poke fun at it.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, so that missed or is that something else?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's just a weird angle.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But that is the play that's.

[Brian Redban]

Whoa.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He's already crossing the plate there. Can you back that up a little?

[Mark Normand]

We should start naming that move after his last. What's the last name again?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Falafa.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you pull the falafa every time you miss the plate.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But there is on the bottom one there looks like so close. That's not excruciating. No. Now we're going to make it worse. If he's watching this, he's going to kill himself now.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, well, we've had that where you bomb and you're in the shower going, why the. Did I say this?

[Brian Redban]

They do kill themselves. Hideki Yarabu from the Yankees commit suicide. You know, it's like that pressure he did.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, over a play.

[Brian Redban]

Over a play over, over. I think just no.

[Mark Normand]

A slept with his girl.

[Brian Redban]

Aru pulled up.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Donnie, who blew 86. Wahlberg blew the save. Donnie something most. He. He took his life. Hidaki Arabu, 42, apparent suicide. Had alcohol and prescription medication. Come on, we can't blame that on a play.

[Brian Redban]

It's just a weekend in Reno. Come on, let's see.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

A similar gig in Reno.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I love how much you. I think there's. I've heard you compare stand up to baseball to, like, the starting lineup, right? You bump a player out, right?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You. You have your starters. You have. You guys trying to get on, get into the lineup. And what's weird about baseball that I've never understood. And I guess it's similar in stand up, although standup is very reliable. Don't you find a good show will follow a bad show?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

When you do a bad set, you can almost guarantee the next one's gonna. You're gonna. Because I think it's like a fear thing. It's like, have I lost it? Am I done?

[Mark Normand]

Am I good? It snaps you back on your feet.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Sucks to end on the bad one that night. If you do a couple.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I did two last night. The second one was horrible. First one was great. Same material. I was just. I wasn't in it. I was off. And I think I was too cocky from the first one. Went down to the second club.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

There it is. That's the. That's the fascinating pendulum swing of how it corrects you. Yeah, that's what I was trying to say. It just kind of emotionally keeps you. It's like the bumpers in the. In a bowling alley.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You can't go too far. It's going to knock you back the other way.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true. That's why you got to tape two with the special.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, at least.

[Mark Normand]

At least. I did three.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I taped four, and I wasn't happy with any.

[Brian Redban]

I'm doing this time. And I'm like, I wonder if it's a mistake. The last one was four.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Two.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I would do four.

[Mark Normand]

I just did three. We got on the third.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, three is good.

[Mark Normand]

Three was good, but I'm glad I did three now.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Do you guys. I hear about these guys that they do these specials and they. What I'm gonna say, you don't know.

[Mark Normand]

Every 10 minutes, every two years.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What? What?

[Mark Normand]

Do a special every two years.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I. I wasn't. I was at the third word of the sentence.

[Mark Normand]

I thought I had it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's a P. Name that tune.

[Mark Normand]

And.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Do you guys not sit and edit every line with the editor?

[Mark Normand]

I do.

[Brian Redban]

It depends. Yeah, usually, but it depends on what?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

If you have a Lunch plan.

[Brian Redban]

Well, I say, I know which show is the show usually. And I'm like, that's mostly there. And if I don't like a line, I just sub it out. I mean, I know the jokes well enough that I don't. I have sat with them, but last one, I didn't actually.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Mmm.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I'm too nervous. I'm a control freak. And that way, I gotta know I had a friend, not Joe List. He was like, ah, you. It went well. You got it. And he's miserable with it. He hates it.

[Brian Redban]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. He's like, I should have sat in there.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I. I talked to a comedian the other day, no names, who was not happy with the special. And it's not someone I know that well, but asked me if I would look at it and what I thought, and I said, do you really want to do this? Like, for real?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, God.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And the person said, yes. And I watched it and I said, it's. It's good, but it's not as good as you are.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And I don't. You know, we. Mark and I have discussed this endlessly. This. You know, the undercooked chicken.

[Brian Redban]

You know, there's also an overcooked chicken, though, too. I think there's also been. You can also overcook a chicken, too.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, you could. You could.

[Brian Redban]

But undercooked is definitely worse.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

But there's a point of the tour, I'm just like. I'm sick of these jokes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I don't really.

[Brian Redban]

I think I'm at the point where I'm happy I'm going to tape soon, because I. I just think I need to move on. You just got to rip the band aid.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's so impressive that your whole generation has. That's just the protocol. That's what you're going to do to survive, right?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I think it's good. But you mentioned it to me, you're a cripple for a year and a half after it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

It sucks.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. But, yeah, it's making the whole thing work.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. And it is. It is good. I mean, look, you're in a little postpartum funk afterwards. You're just like, what the hell? What is this that I'm doing on stage?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You need at least 10 to. At least to throw at the wall. So you're like, okay. When I'm at the seller, I'm not just wasting these people's time. I need something to fall back on.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

And they look up at you like, why is this guy here. This guy sucks. You're like, no, no, I have good stuff, but I'm trying not to go back to him.

[Brian Redban]

I'm going after a killer, some young killer who's just hammering it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And you're just like.

[Brian Redban]

And look, I saw Louis do it. And Louie was just. Some of those sets. He was just dying an L. And I was. I admired it, man. He hung in there, and now he's got great stuff. But. But it's funny when you see a guy come through and you're like, wow, this is painful. You're watching someone you know is great.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, yeah, we used to watch Pryor do that in the 70s.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And he was the only one doing it.

[Mark Normand]

Mm.

[Brian Redban]

Why do you think he was the only one who did it that way?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Nobody else had the guts.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

To drop their whole. Or to, you know. But you were turning it over. Nah, not like that. He. I don't know.

[Brian Redban]

But how many Carson sets did he do?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

How many did I do? I don't know. 25, 30.

[Brian Redban]

That's a ton of material.

[Mark Normand]

But he is a ton of material.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But it's not going up on stage with nothing.

[Brian Redban]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You're losing your best six or ten.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's not so bad. Losing your best hour. Yeah, that's different. And Prior would go up and bomb.

[Brian Redban]

What do people say doing that?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

They. The comedians would admire it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, and he would come every night. Wow. And. And.

[Mark Normand]

And.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And do it. And of course, we would just sit and watch. You know, he was legendary even then.

[Brian Redban]

And did you interact with him at all?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

A little bit. Not much.

[Mark Normand]

A little free bass.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, just a little. You know, I caught fire, too.

[Mark Normand]

Well, Louie would. I had a bad bomb. And Louie goes, you're taking this too personally. I was like, well, it sucks. I feel bad. I hate myself. And he's like, you're working on the jokes. It's. It's a scientific process.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You don't, like, do a math or a science project and go, oh, it didn't work. I suck. Like, you try another thing and you keep doing experiments.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. But that emotional drive is also an ingredient.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Being angry, being frustrated. Those aren't bad things.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

But also you. I heard you and Rock once say. And I agree with you on this. You were arguing.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Is it.

[Brian Redban]

Are they there for you or the material?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yes.

[Brian Redban]

And you said, the material, and he said you.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And it's like, well, they're rejecting the material. They're not rejecting you.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Same thing.

[Brian Redban]

Same thing.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But if you're A professional.

[Brian Redban]

If you're a professional.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but they know. They know you. They go, this guy stink. They go, jerry had an off night.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But tell me, which is worse, a guy you don't know that stinks or a guy you do know that stinks?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but they've seen you kill.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I know. He lost it. I think that's worse.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. That sucks.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He used to be funny.

[Mark Normand]

That's terrible. What are you reading my tweets? Oh, okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that's true. But I feel like with Rock, you go, oh, man. We watch Rock work out new stuff. It was so cool.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Audiences are so sophisticated now that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Understand that.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. Now, that's a blessing and a curse, too, because a lot of people go, I've heard this already. Where's the new stuff?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's not very sophisticated.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I remember they wrote that about Louis sometime in the paper. He was getting ready to shoot a thing, and the guy writes, I saw the show a month ago. It's essentially the same show. Yeah. We don't change over monthly an hour.

[Mark Normand]

That guy should be fired for that. You don't know. Stand up. Stop reviewing it.

[Brian Redban]

That's what you really think about when you read any article. You're like, well, if you know this little about Stand up, then what do you know about anything you cover? I know this is so obvious that, like, of course you don't. I mean, it's like writing that about a Broadway show. Yeah. They don't tweak the dialogue.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Brian Redban]

This is the show.

[Mark Normand]

This is the show.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. But you have to accept that there is an aura of mystery about it that will always be. Even to us.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, and that's. That's part of it. I personally think that you should just believe what you believe to be true. However you think. You know what I mean? Like, we have these conversations, like, if they see something that you've done before, they disappointed. And I go, if it's not. If it's a good bit. And comedians could argue that. And it's somewhat generational, like, to me, like, if I'm gonna see somebody that I really like, I'm coming once, you know, I'm not gonna go see somebody no matter how much I like them. Four times in my life.

[Mark Normand]

No, no.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Would you go to any show four times?

[Brian Redban]

If you're a deadhead, you go to.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You follow.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, but not for this. I mean, it is weird. I also think with that whole, you know, seeming in the moment, there's people like George Carlin, who you're like, this is clearly a show. And then there's Patrice o' Neill, who you're like, this is. This is. Feels very conversational. Maybe this is off the cuff. There was this illusion with a guy with Patrice.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right.

[Brian Redban]

But I don't think every comic cares about that. I don't think Carlin cared about that. He would come out and do it. You're like, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

This is.

[Brian Redban]

Even at the end when he come out and do like, almost like poetry.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Right.

[Brian Redban]

This is clearly a thing he's doing, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That was one of the few things I didn't like about Carlin. I, I, you know, I'm a huge fan. I know all this stuff, but I thought he got a little self indulgent and he was like, this is for me, not you. And you're like, no, no, no, they're still here. You need them to be here. It's for them. A little. I don't like that attitude for them.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, I agree with you. I didn't like it either. But whatever was good.

[Mark Normand]

The last special.

[Brian Redban]

Really good.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know, he's got some of the best stuff. And I see a lot of his stuff being copied all day long, but.

[Brian Redban]

In both sides, politically, acting like he's talking.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's awesome.

[Brian Redban]

It's kind of an incredible skill.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Like, wow. Everyone felt heard by social commentary, right? How many comics can achieve that?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know, because he was very like, pro abortion, but he was also like, stop, tell me what I can't say, you pussy. The pussification of America. I'm gonna say this and that. And so, yeah, he was hitting everything. Yeah, yeah, he was. I saw him once live and boy, did he flip out on the crowd.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Mississippi. Didn't you?

[Mark Normand]

I saw him in a casino in Mississippi. That's all I could afford.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, man, not the poor guy. Imagine what he'd be today if you just change the. If we could crack the time tunnel, you know, because he was very frustrated because in his day, which was also my day, if you're just a comic, you kind of didn't make it right, you know? And now there's no such thing as that. If you're a successful comic, you're as big as anybody.

[Brian Redban]

You wanted to act, right? I mean, that was. Yeah, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Why?

[Mark Normand]

Well, Danny Kay was his hero.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You're not Danny K. No, but he wanted to be. Who, you. Yeah. Gift. Yeah, you got this gift, but it wasn't that big a deal. It was it was, it was a little. You were kind of an upscale carny.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Those people, he needed it. A lot of these guys who quit, they don't need it. Carlin did it till he dropped dead. So did Rickles and Rodney. They needed stand up.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right, right.

[Brian Redban]

What was that like when you did the Rodney comedian special? That looked pretty cool.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that was great.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It was great. I mean, I didn't think it was anything at the time. They said, you want to be on this special as a bun of comics. So you, you know, okay.

[Mark Normand]

Hbo.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, it was pretty. It was, it was a thing. But the fun thing was then Rodney and I became friends after that. He loved young guys. Yeah, he loved them. And you were trying so hard to.

[Brian Redban]

Slip in a Kevin space.

[Mark Normand]

I was looking at a Kevin Spacey joke there. Boy, you know me well, you need.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

To kill Tony, son. Those are my power to really be here.

[Brian Redban]

Sunglasses was Rodney, what was he, what was he like to hang out with?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He was fen. He was so deep and as thoughtful and loved comedy, loved stand up. But he could go off on you too, you know, like one time, I remember, you know, I lived in New York and he was in LA and he was having a birthday party and I left him a message. I can't, I'm in New York. I can't, I can't be there. And he got very upset.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, and left me this very upset message.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Brian Redban]

Angry Rodney.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. All the substances. Who knows who was really talking there?

[Mark Normand]

They gotta get over there.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I talked to Carlin like two weeks before he passed.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He had just done the special.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And I called him to tell him how great it was. It was a great one, that last one.

[Mark Normand]

It was great.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And then the Times when he passed. The Times asked me to write the obit in the opinion page and. And I did. It was a really exciting. I was so excited to be asked to do. And I did a thing about how so many comedians would say, well, Carlin did that already.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And then I thought, when you get. When I get to my end and you're spiraling through the. The cosmos to whatever the next reality is, I'll realize Carlin already did it.

[Mark Normand]

I remember a funny thing on the news when he died. I was watching the news and you were like, 71. Who dies at 71? I remember thinking that was funny.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I said that, yeah, yeah, I'm 71 now.

[Brian Redban]

Whoa, you're very healthy for a comedian. Yeah, it's I mean, it's impressive.

[Mark Normand]

Well, you're not much.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It can be done.

[Brian Redban]

It can be done.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You don't have anything to do all day.

[Brian Redban]

True.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. Except for this.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Thanks for doing it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You guys do this how often?

[Mark Normand]

Once a week. Not bad. Not bad.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And did you think this when you started this? Did you think this is a thing?

[Brian Redban]

No, we started during COVID and he. We were on Zoom having a cocktail on the other end because we were just bored and it was an excuse to catch up.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And we recorded it, and then some people liked it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So. So what is it now? What. What is the. Give me the basics.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, this is what this is. It's a TV show, basically. This. This will get more views than Fallon.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And you make any money doing this?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but it's mostly for the tickets. You sell the tickets.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Good.

[Brian Redban]

Good way to plug the gigs.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

This will sell your beacon.

[Brian Redban]

He'll sell the Beacon.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I think he'll do all right.

[Brian Redban]

Well, you say that like it's all been done. With Carlin, I rewatch Seinfeld all the time, and it's amazing where I'm like, oh, the amount. It's like a Beatles thing where you're just like, how much. How many fucking premises did they take?

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Brian Redban]

They got so much where I'm like, we can't touch this. We can't. I mean, I think all the time, even to the. When you're doing the Tip Jar, we're talking about the tips earlier, George. Trying to make sure they see so many little things. I went on a date with a girl the other night who is a bad laugher. I'm like, that's the menage a trois episode. You know, so much has been done.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. My wife has Manhands.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Sebastian doing. Jeff Bezos's laugh is really funny. Did you ever see him do that?

[Mark Normand]

No. Pull that up.

[Brian Redban]

So, funny man, when you discover new comedians, is it usually through Instagram or YouTube?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

There you go. That's the way to do it. Now, the Internet works.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. He does a whole bit about his transformation.

[Mark Normand]

Mm. Oh, that's funny.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's very funny. But the laugh, it's pretty brutal.

[Mark Normand]

I don't think I've heard Destroy Bezos laugh. I wouldn't.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Just got a laugh of a guy who becomes a billionaire on the Internet, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I always think, like, the way God works is, like, he'll give you. Nobody gets a straight flush, right. There's gonna be some bad cards. In there. You know like right.

[Mark Normand]

Like LeBron is balding.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like all right, we got. He's human.

[Brian Redban]

Jordan's got a gambling problem.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Nobody gets all five cards.

[Mark Normand]

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[Mark Normand]

I don't know what did I refer.

[Brian Redban]

To them in the special Bezos or Bezos. I remember saying this Bezos.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Talk.

[Brian Redban]

He was taking people around the office. He was laughing, you know at this.

[Mark Normand]

Weird laugh he had.

[Brian Redban]

Bald and gripped and he's in shape. He's hip now so I just thought the the difference in like when someone first starts out and then $400 billion aesthetically I thought was a funny.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You.

[Brian Redban]

Know I'm basically kind of ripping the guy to shreds.

[Mark Normand]

His name. Wrong is funny already.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. See somebody, one of the B movie guys says, let's do another B movie. And the head of the hive will be Jeff Bezos.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, perfect. Get Cardi B in there. I'm jealous of these guys. You have a little more of this now. I feel like when you started, you were pretty front and center. But these guys who are free up there, they can move and do. I don't know if I could do the movements and.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Wish you can.

[Mark Normand]

I don't. But I'm scared. I'm too insecure.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

We're all scared all the time. That's the gig.

[Mark Normand]

I just feel safe.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's not encourages in not being scared. It's doing it anyway.

[Mark Normand]

Sure, sure. All right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Just start moving.

[Brian Redban]

What scares. Does anything scare you about performing now or nothing?

[Mark Normand]

Bombing?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, I mean, I still get buzzed, you know, before you go on.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And you think I don't know this Portugal thing, when you want to do Portugal? That made me go Portugal. I got a little scared. Oh. But having to talk with him about all the places he did. Yeah. How crazy that sounds to someone born in the 50s. I did a gig in Berlin. Berlin, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That's crazy, dude.

[Brian Redban]

It's basically Williamsburg.

[Mark Normand]

But yeah. I mean, everywhere. They want American comedy. Where the. Where the.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Have you gone to Asia? Have you done Asia?

[Mark Normand]

I did China. Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Singapore.

[Brian Redban]

How was that?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It was great.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. That's what I mean. Everywhere. They know what they're in for.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right, right.

[Brian Redban]

They know what they're showing up to.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Yes.

[Brian Redban]

Those days when they didn't sucked.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Brian Redban]

When you're on stage and they're like, what the hell is this? And you're like. I guess YouTube. When we started, YouTube wasn't a big thing.

[Mark Normand]

No, no.

[Brian Redban]

They didn't really have good clips of us.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Promote the weekend. We were just there. And they're going to see comedy.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

When you did Stockholm. Right. Last time, do they still clap in unison there? Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Milan too, like at the end of a run. It's almost like an old school late night set where everyone just applauds and.

[Mark Normand]

You'Re like, all right, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

This is weird.

[Mark Normand]

Amsterdam's like that. When I was in Amsterdam, they were like. We had three comics who were very funny, very famous, and they all three of them flipped out on the crowd. I know all three because they told.

[Brian Redban]

Me the same thing. But I knew what I was in for because I played there before. But Even then I was like, God, they just don't laugh.

[Mark Normand]

They don't laugh.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

They go, have you ever flipped on a crowd? I never heard of this.

[Mark Normand]

Only hecklers. Hecklers.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's not the crowd.

[Brian Redban]

You get annoyed when they're bad.

[Mark Normand]

I get annoyed, but I try to keep it together. I don't go full Michael Richards, but, you know, I'll. I'll, you know, get a heckler. I. I go red. I lose it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Hecklers are fine.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But I could never get it. It's just like, I feel like a guy picking a lock.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's not the right one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You gotta stay cool. I mean, you lose the fight if you go rad.

[Mark Normand]

Completely.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man. I did a joke last night. I'm working on this new bit about casinos, and I'm like, why do all the games have to be numerical? How about pick a color? And a lady goes, you can do that with roulette. And I was like, ah, well, you just killed my whole joke. And that killed, like, her popping a hole in my whole bubble. Crushed. So I got to go back to the lab. But, boy, that was painful.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You spent a whole day in it. You're like, that's wrong.

[Mark Normand]

I did. I had a whole sheet. And she ruined everything with one comment. So that's Stand up.

[Brian Redban]

He had a whole thing about a friend and about. He didn't know what Slim Pickens was. He thought. And then I was like, oh, it was a person.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

The person named Slim. I killed my whole bit. I was like, that was a. I was like. He thought it was a person. I was like, wait, it was a person.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I didn't know that either. Yeah. So, damn, that's a great name. Slim Pickens. I like that. Jazz blues.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Peter Sellers, Dr. Strangelove. Yeah. He rides the atom bomb down. Oh.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Also Blazing Saddles.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, maybe.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I think.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. How about that?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. There he is on the right.

[Brian Redban]

Brian Hamilton on the road. You see a lot of movies. That's like, part of your routine.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

One.

[Brian Redban]

One.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, yeah. It's part of my whole system.

[Brian Redban]

I love that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, it's nice. Any movie. A good movie is good, and a bad movie is just as fun.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, I saw Frankenstein on Netflix.

[Mark Normand]

I just watched it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Very good. But I thought, boy, watching this with some comics would have been so great.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. I had a ball watching that because.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It'S just trying so hard to be so, you know. Gothic.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Dramatic and sincere. Yeah, yeah. My. My joke was a. The woman kind of Fell for him, the girl in it. And I was like, a woman will let anything slide as long as you're tall. Because the guy's like 6, 9 or whatever. And she's like, he's all torn up and mutilated, but she's like, he's beautiful. There's something about him. Like, he's just tall. Shut up.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I thought, this looks like how the Blue Man Group got started.

[Brian Redban]

See Roofman, this new one. No, it's great.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Roofman.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it's. It's a true story. It's Channing Tatum and Kirsten Dunst. It's so good.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, yeah. I want to see this.

[Brian Redban]

I loved it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Crazy premise. I looked it up. After you. It's called Me.

[Brian Redban]

It's a crazy story.

[Mark Normand]

How about that? See, movies are great. They got a lot of great movies now, but nobody's going to see them. They're all losing money.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And are they ever gonna go? Why would you go?

[Mark Normand]

Well, you go, right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

If you have nothing in the world to do.

[Mark Normand]

But don't you love the movie theater experience?

[Brian Redban]

Yes, but I bet you have a good movie set up at home.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, just a big tv.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Interesting. But if they're gone, we're gonna miss them. It's like your grandma.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know what, Sam? Radio a little bit.

[Mark Normand]

All right. All right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

BMW maybe.

[Mark Normand]

That's all I got.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's an old car.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. All right. Well, I still got fm.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What are these questions that I. I tried to answer? What is that about?

[Mark Normand]

We only go to that if it's really bad.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, if you run out of gas.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

But people like. Yeah, like the peeves, though. I think we could do a peeve.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, that's our whole career.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, that's true. That's why we've done.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I would say pet peeve. That phrase would be the most annoying.

[Brian Redban]

I don't know where it even comes from.

[Mark Normand]

I know. I think it was a character in Blazing Saddles. Pet peeve. Yeah. I don't know. But we think, you know, a new one pops up every two days, so. Yeah, we just started doing it.

[Brian Redban]

I like the Rex too. So. I mean, I'm sure you have. You do. See, you see a ton of movies, so. Yeah, I figure Jerry's gonna have good movie wrecks.

[Mark Normand]

I thought the ending of Frankenstein was weak. Just the pushing the boat out. I was like, this is.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Was stuck.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Now it's free.

[Mark Normand]

I guess it's a metaphor.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So strong.

[Brian Redban]

What's like an all time movie Jerry wreck?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Like, what's an old time.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, any old time.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's easy. I mean, the Graduate.

[Mark Normand]

Mike Nichols.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's a great one frame. And you could watch it as a comedy or as a drama. There's so many unbelievably funny things.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And, you know, she was 39. How great is that? This old.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

This old 39. And he was 27, I think.

[Brian Redban]

And Gene Hackman was originally Mr. Robinson.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Whoa.

[Brian Redban]

He got fired. He was like. He was. He was freaking out. He's like, I'm going to get fired. And doesn't happen. Like, no, I'm going to get fired. And then Gene Hapman got fired.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, Murray Hamilton, to me, Mario Joyner and I have, like, a movie language. It's mostly Glengarry Glen Ross.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Jerky boys and just anything that's close to any of those lines.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And Murray Hamilton, when he plays the mayor in Jaws.

[Mark Normand]

Aha.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Thank you, Mr. Quint. We will take it under advisement. But Murray Hamilton with Dustin Hoffman unwrapping the cigar. How old are you now?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yes. The best scene in Graduate, or my favorite scene is at the end where they run out of the church.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He steals her from the guy. They're gonna live the rest of their lives together on the bus. They're all excited.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Then they look at each other and go. Yeah, now what? And that's marriage.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Here's the story on that tape.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Mike Nichols. The end of the scene was they were supposed to look at each other and smile, and that was supposed to be it. But he didn't like that, so he just kept rolling. Ah. Knowing that they would eventually come down. Come down. And that would be a better ending.

[Mark Normand]

Way better.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That's life.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

There's that look. It's so great. And the Alfa Romeo is so amazing. Dustin spider doesn't happen.

[Brian Redban]

60S and 70s. That run is insane.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Insane.

[Brian Redban]

So many good movies.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, even some of the cowboy.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, my God.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Here's a interesting bit about Lost in America, the great Albert Brooks film.

[Mark Normand]

Is that the. The rv?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, that's the rv. When she loses the money in the casino. Which I played it for my daughter because one of my favorite movies I wanted to show were all my favorite movies. And she said, it's pretty sad after she loses the money. And they knew that. And I talked to David Geffen about this. They. They said, we got it. We need a funny scene here in the back half of this movie where it's dying. And so it was like six months after they had made it. They came up with the Garry Marshall the desert in his heart scene and reshot it and plugged it in. So they had a funny scene in the back half of the movie.

[Mark Normand]

Wow, you need a button.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Because it was deadly. After she loses the money.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Brian Redban]

Did they focus test it or you think they just watched it in a room?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Probably just watched it.

[Mark Normand]

Damn. He's a genius. He doesn't. I feel like he doesn't get his due.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, yes, he does.

[Mark Normand]

You think so?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He's idolized.

[Mark Normand]

I hope so.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, he's the greatest.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

The documentary, I mean like super young people may not know because.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

A lot of it's from like 20, 30 years ago, but it is all great. It all still holds up. Defending your life is incredible.

[Mark Normand]

Incredible.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Rip Torn in that movie.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. And as his Carsons are great. He does like a, he'll do like a stand up segment now.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Again, we just want to get into this.

[Mark Normand]

Bring it on.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Okay. I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

Comedy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

We talked about the physical challenge of comedy.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Which I don't think people think about. When I think about some of the really funny people, funniest that I've ever seen. Michael Richards or Sid Caesar. I've heard a lot of people tell me these guys, like, are you crazy strong guys?

[Mark Normand]

Strong.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And everybody's pretty strong when they're young. And then one of the things that will destroy your comedy is when you don't have any physical strength. It's because there's an energy. Comedy is. Comedy is a concentration of energy on a point. You know, it's like a dense moment of energy. A punchline is like a punch. It's like throwing a punch.

[Mark Normand]

I think you were right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It takes energy to do it. So I think what happens to comedy, a lot of comedy people, as they age, they just don't physically have the, the juice, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I think you were right not to bring this up.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Why?

[Mark Normand]

No, I'm just kidding.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But, but I mean, you're right.

[Brian Redban]

You don't see like Jim Carrey's not making stuff right now.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, look at his physical ability. One of the best when he was young in Incredible.

[Mark Normand]

Incredible.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Jerry Lewis. Similar. Yeah, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's just a thing of comedy that I've noticed over the years of don't, don't let yourself become a mess. So it gets harder. It's hard. It's harder anyway.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

As you get older, you just run out of gas as a human being.

[Brian Redban]

But your generation seemed pretty unhealthy. I mean, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Pretty unhealthy.

[Brian Redban]

Known for like coke in the clubs and.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. That claimed 90%. Wow. Of the. Of the generation on both sides of me. Drugs.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And you never wanted to dabble? Not curious?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No. About what?

[Mark Normand]

Coke. It looks like a good time. I've never done it either, but we've never done it. I probably will at your age. Adderall? Nothing. Blue Chew.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What? What, what is. What what is. Where is your. Where are you suffering from lack of stimulation?

[Mark Normand]

Wow. I just. It's a. Do you want to have a good time? You want the party to go to an 11 time? What do you like drinking?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Not really.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I mean, a glass of wine with an Italian meal.

[Mark Normand]

Very nice.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But I mean, I. I don't understand that. You don't. You're not getting enough with what we do. Right. It's so challenging. It's so hell raising night after night, up and down, you know, but that's my.

[Mark Normand]

Proven my point.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You're. You're up and down.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I don't need any more stimulation. I can barely handle what I'm getting.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that's a gift.

[Brian Redban]

This is his skill. He's irritated in an optimistic way.

[Mark Normand]

Right? Yes. That fuels you.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That is a great comedy challenge to give yourself. Do a bit about how much you love something and make it funny. Ooh, I've done a couple of those and that's really fun.

[Brian Redban]

What do you love that's funny?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Coffee. I have the whole thing about how much I love coffee.

[Mark Normand]

That's interesting.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Understands the brutality. And I had a whole pop tart bit and that was the first time I tried to do it. I said, I wonder if I could do a bit that's not negative in any way. Right. Just positive about how much you love something.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And it's a, you know, it's really flipping the universe a little bit.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

African's got some of those.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Hot pocket, a lot of food stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Bacon. He's got a whole bacon chunk.

[Brian Redban]

Bacon chunk is great.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

The pop tart bit, when you said the box has more nutrition than the. That was like, how did he think of that? Because I was like, how's he gonna wrap this thing up? And that was kind of the big ribbon on it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I can't even remember that bit.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I remember that. And the one, the golf bit. Those really sticking my head. Go out, leave family.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That. That's a guy who stared at a piece of paper for three hours.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Because you're like I'm out of idea. Wait, G. Oh, that. That's a real like stuck in a. In a prison cell.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That is. Is that that coke? I mean, when I saw way worse for you letters, I don't know which. I don't know whether I got leave family or get out leave family. But when I saw that, I had to. I had to leave the house and just walk out into the air and go, oh, my God.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And that kills.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, it's fun.

[Mark Normand]

That was a big bit.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I've had like two of those in my life and I hope you have more. The birth of my child, nothing on those moments. Nothing on those, those go out, leave family moments. That's. That's really where I feel good about myself.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What I don't understand.

[Mark Normand]

I'm saying my kid. Nothing on that love wise.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Do you understand what he's saying?

[Mark Normand]

I'm saying the birth of my child has got nothing on writing that big bit.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right. Yeah. I would hope on the birthday.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I got. Yeah, I got a big baby chunk.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, good for you.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, about 15 minutes on it.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. I would hope that your kid is more happy, Gives you more happiness than your pedo drinking junk, you know.

[Mark Normand]

That's my bread and butter.

[Brian Redban]

That's your bread and butter. What? I want to know this too, because you kind of settled down later in life, you know, when did you know it was time to settle down? And how did, how did you know?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

The boredom. The boredom of the. The routine of what you're doing. And you just go, I need another world. I can't live in this world anymore. And I think, I mean, we were talking about people that can't hang with stand up beyond a certain point. But that's more. You get kicked out. But that's not a good analogy. But I said to Tom Papa, I said, you know, he got married, he wasn't gonna have kids. I said, you're in the parking lot at dis, sitting in the car.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

There's a. There's an. The idea that sex only works on that side of the fun side. That there's not another side to it.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

There's a whole other side to it. Whole other universe.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And you told me, stop watching porn and that helps the sex. I did, yeah. Well, I was watching it at the.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Coffee shop, but I was trying to converse with you.

[Mark Normand]

I guess it was right at the end.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Mark, I'm over here.

[Mark Normand]

But yeah, that does, you know, revamp a little bit, right? Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Okay, good for You. I'll tell you an embarrassing thing here's. This is completely humiliating.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

We went on a safari in Africa, which I did not want to go at all. I really, really was objecting to it. But you have to go if you can afford it.

[Mark Normand]

I went.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You are forced to go.

[Mark Normand]

Honeymoon.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. And I had a good time and I got nothing. I don't.

[Mark Normand]

Same, same. I was like, I'm going to get a bit out of this. And I got nothing.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

My wife is saying to me, oh, you're going to have so much on. This is so embarrassing.

[Brian Redban]

That's also when you never get a bit, though.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Brian Redban]

When someone tells you you're going to leave with so much material, like.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

It's like when you're on a date and they're like, don't. You better not do a joke about me. I'm like, I won't.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right. There's nothing here.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I always say, I wish it was that easy.

[Mark Normand]

I know, but safari. I kept thinking of Chris Rock's bit, you know, where he's on a safari. Then he realized there was a white family behind hunting him. You know, like, I'll never top that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

There's a lot of good ones.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I thought. I actually. So desperate. I actually been thinking, I wonder if there's a bit in not having a bit.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

But you're driven by just jokes, which is. I think it's not everyone. There's a reason so many people I think stop doing this is because they didn't. You clearly love jokes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, I love.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You're driven by the next joke.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And I think a lot of people who are maybe great at this and just walked away. I mean, Steve Martin was great at this. Eddie Murphy. But, like, maybe they didn't have the same love for jokes, you know?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, maybe.

[Brian Redban]

Or maybe it's just the work. I don't. What do you think it is?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I think it's an interesting theory and I. There are the. There are those guys, there's three of them sitting here that just. Jokes are. They're like. They're like magic tricks that you don't really know how the trick works yourself. Yeah, but you like to watch it work.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And you can't believe it works.

[Brian Redban]

We're surprised. Mid set, sometimes there's something got a laugh. There's no magician who's like, oh, shit, that's a trick.

[Mark Normand]

That is true.

[Brian Redban]

We fall into bit sometimes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That's a great feeling.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But also frustrating because you're like, why Didn't I think of that? But I'll take it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Or how about when? Yeah. They tell you it's funny and you don't know what's funny about it. I mean, yeah, I have jokes. I don't get.

[Mark Normand]

Me too. Me too. I don't get half your stuff. No, I totally get it. But also, it didn't exist, and then it exists. That's so cool. You have a magic trick. You have to get a bunny and a hat. This is just thin air. It just works.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That's even cooler.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I have a thing about. I don't have arguments with my wife. I don't think things that conflict with what she think. And I get a laugh on conflict. And. I don't know, it just. Like, I wasn't intending to and they just laughed and now I really jump on it, you know, I still don't know what we're laughing at.

[Mark Normand]

Right. But you pause and let him.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I let him do it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

It's funny. I saw. I don't know if we should. If I can say this, but, like, I saw. Well, I saw Louie doing a bit the other night, and it. And it didn't work. And then he did a bit, and instead of saying it, you know, with emphasis, he did it under his breath and it killed.

[Mark Normand]

Interesting.

[Brian Redban]

And it's amazing when you're just like, oh, if I try less on some jokes, that hits. If I try more on some jokes that hit. You just don't know how to deliver your own writing sometimes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Of course not.

[Brian Redban]

It's crazy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, that gets back to the cooking time. Yes. Conversation, which is. There are things you can. Like this coffee bit. It's a great bit. It's really long. It's got a lot of good stuff in it. Everything's great. But the opening is just okay. Well, I'm not gonna live with that.

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I got a good bit here. It's gotta have a strong opening line.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Now, finding that, it could take me months. Right. But I like wasting my time. I do not like being efficient at all. I do not like. I do not want to be an efficient producer of comedy. I do not. I want to be inefficient.

[Mark Normand]

You don't want to be a factory pumping it out.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, no. I want it to look like. He must have spent so much time on that. Ah. You know. Right. To get all of that out of it, you know?

[Mark Normand]

But think about how much more you'd have if you were efficient, how much more material.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, but that's volume. You're Talking about volume. I'm talking about detail, quality, flow, rhythm. Things that are just not important, honestly.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I mean, I like trying to find a segue between two things I want to do. Yeah, that's just perfectly smooth. There's no laugh.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It gets me there in five words.

[Brian Redban]

See, I love this in comedy, and I do feel like there was a part of our generation where it became uncool to care on this level.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Brian Redban]

And when you put this much thought into that, they were like, Jesus, like, what are they? What is he doing?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, you're not cool. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You almost have to, like, fake that you. You know what I mean? Especially in those Brooklyn shows.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

You kind of have to fake it a little.

[Mark Normand]

But the audience, when they see that magic, that flow, the rhythm, and it's tight as a drum. Oh, I remember it hit some hard.

[Brian Redban]

I remember seeing Gary Goldman, like, the. The work he'd put into some of these callbacks, and I'd be like, oh, my God. Holy shit, that's awesome. I remember love so same to me. It was just, you know, I think.

[Mark Normand]

That'S a defense mechanism with that Brooklyn shit that, like, ironically bad, you know, Dopey. I think that's all. That's cowardice.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, it's also. It's trying to claim it as our own new way of doing things better than the old man way.

[Brian Redban]

It's counterculture. Sure.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, right. Positive. In the 60s.

[Brian Redban]

No, but it's all cyclical. Like, it'll go back to. Karen will be cool again at some point, you know, and then it's uncool.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, it's back. I mean, the universe knows they're not coming out to see you in their 50s. When you're in your 50s and you want to keep working.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Unless you're making them laugh. That's worth money. Nothing. You know, I was watching the Sebastian show. It's so fun to watch other. You do learn from sitting and watching somebody work.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You sit there and you go, oh, this is what we're doing. You can get lost up there.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

World that you've invented. And you're just playing these. You're going up and down the keyboard and you're playing these songs.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But you don't really. You can disconnect in a way. So I watched his show. I just finished watching it this morning. That's why I'm excited about it, because I really enjoyed it. And I. And I. I. I felt what they were getting. I could see. And I don't really Love these Arena vibe. Anyway, but he. He plays it well, and I could see how. Oh, they're. They're going home. Feeling good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, they feel good.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That was worth it. They're thinking the parking, the schlepping, the horrible, you know, cavernous basketball thing. That's not a show, you know, it's a. And. But they've. He made them feel good because he delivers the laughs.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Makes you laugh.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, when he does that, I call it the silverback gorilla sound. He does that. Teeth. He says teeth louder than any human has ever said.

[Mark Normand]

Well, he reminds me to just. You gotta. We're so writery. I feel like, especially us. You've gotten more animated, I feel like, over the years. But he's so fun and funny. Like, he moves funny, he talks funny, and I forget to just be funny sometimes.

[Brian Redban]

I heard him once say Orangina, and he said, orangina.

[Mark Normand]

Funny. That's funny.

[Brian Redban]

He had a bit about, like, you know, I have Orangina in my fridge. No one has Orangina. And the way he said that, I was like, I've never heard someone brag about having Orangina, but that's hilarious.

[Mark Normand]

You can be in Africa, in a village and think that's funny. You know, you don't have to even understand what he's talking about. It's already funny.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I have that bit that you mentioned to me about that. Women are wives, are sharks, husbands are dolphins. And so the thing about. No shark has ever performed at SeaWorld. They've never done one thing. They've tried and tried again. One, just jump or do something, you know, so. But I changed the pronunciation of SeaWorld to Sea World.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And there's a friend of mine came to the show with his girlfriend, and the girlfriend said, why. Why do you say Sea World? I go, because you notice it. Otherwise, it's a really boring word that you've heard a trillion times.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And it's. And that's the funny little game that you have to play of just being funny.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Just being silly. But I want to say Sebastian's a great writer.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, no, I agree.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He's a great writer.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, the company bit is next level.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Everything he does is well written.

[Mark Normand]

It's also fun to think about him. He had to not be good at one point. He had to learn that whole Sebastian thing.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Who didn't do that?

[Mark Normand]

I'm not knocking him. I'm saying, I wish I could see those. Those years of figuring it out why.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I don't want to see what he.

[Mark Normand]

Because you want to see the progression. I love the. How did he get here?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Well, you're a ner.

[Mark Normand]

I'm a nerd.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And I am, too.

[Brian Redban]

But that's your favorite part of the biopic too. Like, you're obsessed with that. I like to see when they figure it out, too. I like. I like.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I. Back when the Internet started, I got a dumb idea. I said, I'm gonna take everything I've ever done on tv, cut it into one and two minute portion sizes, and I'm gonna put three up a day on my website as a thing. I don't know what I was doing. Just trying to use the Internet.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So I had to watch everything I've ever. Every stand up I've ever done on.

[Mark Normand]

TV and talking Merv Griffin. Everything.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Every one of them.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And it was. It's like the first time you start working with a tape record. It's a little painful.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But I got to watch. I go, oh, he's learning.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Learning.

[Mark Normand]

That's fascinating.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Look at how he's talking. Look at how he's standing. He's not so uncomfortable. And you want. I did it chronologically, and it was cool to watch. It was cool to watch.

[Mark Normand]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

As long as you're not too hard on yourself. It's so easy to look back and be like, oh, what were you.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, Never, ever be like that. Yeah, never be like that.

[Brian Redban]

I mean, I still.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That got you here. That got you here. You have to look at that stuff. That was bad and go. But that was the rope bridge that I had across.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I had to cross that rope bridge to get where I am now.

[Brian Redban]

Well, it's interesting because we might be the last group of comics that have late night sets.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Brian Redban]

Well, I think. I don't think late night's gonna be around forever in its. In its current iteration. I don't think so. I mean, I don't think. How much longer do you think late night TV is gonna. I think it's gonna be different. It's gonna be like, oh, you're talking.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

About talk show setup. Oh, I thought you mean the clubs late at night.

[Mark Normand]

No, no, no, no. The Tonight Show.

[Brian Redban]

You like Conan or Tonight Show?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Does that even exist now?

[Mark Normand]

Tonight's show is barely there.

[Brian Redban]

Some people go on, but, I mean, we. I remember listening to you on, like, Fresh Air with Terry Gross talking about how you go running before a Tonight show set. Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And Mark and I would be like, we gotta fucking run. Seinfeld ran before these sets. I guess we gotta get healthy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Well, before pods, there was no standup info, no news, no tips, no information.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It was a book. This really launched me when I was about 19. There's a book called the Last Laugh. It's the first book ever written about the stand up.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

By Phil Berger.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

On the left. I feel like I've really still have this book. I bought it in a bookstore. I went, oh my God, there's a book about stand up comedy. And it was about every comic from like 72. I think it went back to like the 50s or 40s. And it's a pretty terrorizing book. It's a lot of very disturbing.

[Brian Redban]

What are the names there?

[Mark Normand]

Shelley Berman, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, Robert Klein.

[Brian Redban]

All right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Robert Klein was the biggest comedian at the time.

[Brian Redban]

Well, there was one we read with you. I think you read this one too. The Frank Linige one. Comic Insight.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that was a good one.

[Brian Redban]

I think it was you and Shanling and Belzer. I forgot who else was in.

[Mark Normand]

There's another one called Comedy at the Edge.

[Brian Redban]

Those were good interviews.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

But this is before podcasts, so. I mean, I remember going into Barnes and Noble and just reading jokes in the books.

[Mark Normand]

Same, same.

[Brian Redban]

You know, Judy Brown wrote those books. And I was just like, I'll just read comedy quotes.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, and it was fun. I had one on the toilet.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I remember reading, ladies and gentlemen, Lenny Bruce. You ever heard of this book? It's like 400 pages. No, it's the whole story of Lenny Bruce. It's a great book. You. You would love this book.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's about all this drug use and the craziness with the wife and all the madness. But there's one line in the book. I was reading it and I really had no idea how comics did anything.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And he would call his mother after every set, one page of the book where he goes, hey, mom, I did a new bit tonight. And I went, new bit? You mean, you know what you're gonna do the other stuff. And yeah, it was that. That was literally the moment that I. I knew I was gonna be a comic. I did a new bit tonight.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I didn't know they were bits.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly. You know, we had nothing to go off of when.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What was it like when you first were trying to understand what it was? How ignorant were you?

[Mark Normand]

I was? So I soaked up everything. My mom bought me books and I watched. I was 20, 21.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

And I was in college, and I would listen to Carlin and you and Shanling and everybody. And Richard, Jenny, I loved. And Greg, Geraldo, all these guys.

[Brian Redban]

Jenny's albums are so good. Yeah, they're so fun. I listen one recently and they're just killer.

[Mark Normand]

I had Cosby himself. And I had Jeff Foxworthy were two cassettes I had. I listened to them over and over.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So what did you think of it when you were listening to it? Did you think, how do they do this?

[Mark Normand]

I thought it was magical. I thought it was like being an astronaut. I'm like, how could you even get from a normal guy to there?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

And I went to an open mic and was too scared, didn't go on, went again. And I fell in love with all the comedians, even though they were horrible. But I was like, that's amazing. This is the coolest. They were different. They were all different.

[Brian Redban]

First taste, I was the same way. You. You're around these comics, like, maybe this will be the crew.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

They all drop off, but you're like, right.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And then I moved to New York and just went all in. And it was painful and it was ugly. But you figure it out. You meet friends and write together and.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But it's all very unknown. It's all very like, let's see where this goes and let's see how this bit works.

[Brian Redban]

I also wonder if we were so obsessed with jokes because so much of what we consumed was audio. I mean, I was listening to albums. I wasn't watching any specials.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I mean, first albums I listened to.

[Mark Normand]

That old.

[Brian Redban]

No, but I mean, I think I just. CDs were like my first intro to it. No, I mean, probably the 90s. I was probably.

[Mark Normand]

No Cosby Special.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Or what about Evening at the Improv?

[Brian Redban]

No, I watched some of those, but I. I remember becoming obsessed with albums. Like, it was.

[Mark Normand]

Something about. It is the best way to consume.

[Brian Redban]

I remember hearing Chris Rock Rick roll with the new being like, whoa, this is crazy. This is crazy. I'd never heard someone talk like this. It was. It blew me away. Or like, you know, a tell Skanks for the memories were so many jokes. I know Geraldo had the Good Day to Cross a River album.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And it was just like, wow. These are like. He also did a. He really talking about guys who, like, skillfully could do social commentary.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I love that guy.

[Brian Redban]

He was great.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He was great.

[Mark Normand]

He was great. Yeah, but rock's bigger and blacker when I saw that. Or no, wait, no, the other one. Bring the Pain.

[Brian Redban]

Bring the pain.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That was the first one.

[Mark Normand]

That was.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That, yeah. That was great.

[Mark Normand]

I didn't know you could go that far.

[Brian Redban]

I just rewatched them both and I was just like, it is crazy how relentless these are. And he's got callbacks and he's got the. It's so polished.

[Mark Normand]

I heard Quinn told me that he rocked when you got that. Got the special, like he's. Your agent, says, you got it now we're gonna go shoot it in three months. He paved his. His tiny Harlem apartment walls with glass, with mirrors and just did it back and forth in front of the mirror so he could see what he looked like from every angle.

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Just to be ready.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Comedians are so crazy. That's not gonna help.

[Mark Normand]

You never did stuff like that?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I did that stuff.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Get it. Go. Go to the club and work out.

[Mark Normand]

When I got this gig open for you, I. It was 15 minutes, no light. I ran that 15 with a stopwatch in my apartment over and over.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It was great.

[Mark Normand]

Well, the first one was rough, but after that, after the pep talk, I feel like we really picked it up.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Where was that? The Beacon.

[Mark Normand]

Beacon, yeah. That was. That was big.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That was fun.

[Brian Redban]

When you were in the clubs, do you remember Bill Hicks there? Do you see him?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, he was Houston. I didn't run across him at all. And by the time he was popular, I think it was the late 80s and 90s and I was in LA and then I was doing the show.

[Brian Redban]

Who are the LA guys you'd see.

[Mark Normand]

Go up a lot?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, when I moved out there in 1980, I would drive up to the store, Comedy Store, every day and see who was gonna be on. And I was always. It was always I called them the Ellie guys. It was Letterman, Lewis or Leno, any of them were on. Those were the three guys I was obsessed with.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

What was Letterman Stand up like?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Pretty good, you know, he was funny. He just had a great presence. Smart, you know, he was great.

[Mark Normand]

Smarmy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. He doesn't have that animal gene, you know, that comedians stand. Real touring stand ups need.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Leno has it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, Leno has it. He took all of it.

[Mark Normand]

Well, do you like you? A lot of people have a misconception about you, that you're, you know, you're the clean guy. Clean comedy.

[Brian Redban]

He's a big porn guy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You were just.

[Mark Normand]

But when I first met you, I was like, maybe I should hide that I drink so much around Jerry. But you don't care.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Why would I care?

[Mark Normand]

Well, I just assumed you were so buttoned up. But it's all the brand.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's. No, it's a style.

[Mark Normand]

It's a style.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I. I just like the style. I don't. Do you think that I think people would be upset to hear a curse word?

[Mark Normand]

Of course.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, they don't care. I do it because I enjoy that style.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's just like, it forces me to be elegant and interesting in a way that I like to be.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Like, you know, I didn't want it when we did the contest episode. Larry, I remember Larry saying, I just talked with NBC. They have no problem with us using the word masturbation. I go, no, that's no fun. Let's not use it.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That will. That. That's more interesting. You're supposed to be good with words. Do it. Let's see you do it.

[Mark Normand]

And that made the whole mastery domain.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Yeah. That's the only reason I don't. That cursing bothers me. It's like you're good enough to get that same laugh without it. And that's what entertains us.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Can you do it?

[Mark Normand]

The limits are fun.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true. Like, I did the Tonight show, and I couldn't say erection. Oh, wow. So I had to come up with something.

[Brian Redban]

Erection. Isn't that the right term to use?

[Mark Normand]

They didn't like it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Wow. What year was that?

[Mark Normand]

2012. Tonight show is very clean.

[Brian Redban]

They've gone harder.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, they've gotten sort of the erection.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, they've gotten.

[Mark Normand]

But do you feel like. Like you don't want to do blow? You don't drink a lot. Do you feel like you get it out with the cars? Maybe the cars is your outlet.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

When you say get it out, it refers to the evil.

[Mark Normand]

The evil. Everybody's got a vice. The evil in it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, you think it's going to be gone when you do blow?

[Mark Normand]

It's going to be stronger, but it's got to get out of you. You know what I mean?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

When you work, you can't get it out. It's in you. But have you ever been on a.

[Brian Redban]

Show where people grill you for not doing blow?

[Mark Normand]

I'm not. I've never done blow either.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's the first.

[Mark Normand]

But do you think. I think everybody.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So stupid. It's so stupid. This is all you have to work with.

[Mark Normand]

I'm saying it out loud.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

This is the instrument. This is your grand piano. Let's put some shit in here. What kind of thinking is that?

[Mark Normand]

Well, I don't want to do it, but the cars might be the outlet.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, everyone needs interests, Mark. Sure, it's fun to be interested in things that interest you, but poison is a stupid thing to get interested in.

[Mark Normand]

Right, Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And if you can't figure out, I mean, I was, whatever, 17 watching Kojak, and I could figure out drugs are bad. I can tell from watching Kojak.

[Mark Normand]

I'm not. I'm off the drugs. I'm talking about an outlet. I'm talking about you have to have a release. The vice.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You are correct. You are correct.

[Mark Normand]

Not a bad vice.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I do get it from. I do some. My family can tell you. I do some weird exercise things.

[Mark Normand]

I do too, you know?

[Brian Redban]

What kind of exercise?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, like, we'll have people over and I'll eat like a crazy meal and I'll feel gross, and I've had a couple glasses of wine and maybe a cigar. I don't. I can't go to bed. I go to the gym. I'll go to the gym at, like, midnight. Whoa.

[Brian Redban]

What do you do, weights or.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, I'll just do a little cardio, watch tv, and then I can sleep.

[Mark Normand]

Interesting.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So I will do things like that. I mean, is that what you're talking about? Crazy things?

[Mark Normand]

That might be some OCD or some guilt.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, I think it's just a way to survive self abuse.

[Mark Normand]

That's healthy. Well, I do a crazy workout routine every day, and if I don't do it, I'm ruined mentally.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Great. Well, doesn't that get it out?

[Mark Normand]

I think so. I think so. Yes. Yeah, I think that gets it out.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, because you're burning up the. That juice.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You're getting dopamine and adrenaline. And these things are.

[Mark Normand]

And I think stand up is a good, good out, good outlet.

[Brian Redban]

It's the ultimate sometimes. My first time getting out of the house.

[Mark Normand]

Same, same.

[Brian Redban]

Thank God.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Thank God for it, you know? Oh, you're ready to get mar. You are ready.

[Mark Normand]

It is one of the great marriage savers because you're like, ah, I gotta go. I gotta do a set. And you're like, ah, I'm out of the house.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Can you believe what this guy's got going on? His wife comes home from work. Would you.

[Mark Normand]

She works at home. She works at home.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, she works at home.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He comes home from doing this, whatever he's doing. And then he goes out to the.

[Mark Normand]

Clubs during the week, and then he.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Goes out on the weekends. They have a baby.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, we. We had a canceled flight, Gary Veder and I, this weekend. And Mark texts him. Oh, man. So extra time away from the Kids. I'm like, yeah, no, no, we're not happy about it. I said so much about you.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I think it's a marriage saver that road time admitted each other, because.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You'Re not really designed to be married. No, a comedian is not. Jim Gaffigan used to say whenever he would hear about a comedian getting married, he would go, why?

[Brian Redban]

So how do you have to go out of your way to make it work?

[Mark Normand]

I pay for a lot of help.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. What he's got going on, I've never heard of.

[Mark Normand]

Really? Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

During the week and doing the road on the weekends. If you don't do that every weekend. Every.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, he goes pretty hard.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, I know. It's so impressive, but I enjoy it. Yeah, I know you enjoy it. She accepts it.

[Brian Redban]

It's cool.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I'm there all day and then. Except for today, and then I do sets at night, and then my. I pay the rent and stuff.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You got a great wife.

[Mark Normand]

I got a great wife, but for.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

A comedian who is not. I do a line about, you know, I never thought I could get married. The stage that you're looking at, you're looking at the number of people I feel comfortable working with.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And so marriage is, I think, it's not really what we're cut out for. Because you've created this solitary world.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And survived. Talk about indulgent.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You're making a living with your whims and your notions and nothing.

[Mark Normand]

Notions. Yeah, that's true.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So that's not normal. Yeah, that's not normal. That's the other thing that's really funny. At the end of this Sebastian show, a lot of comics, too, is he comes off and the wife and kids are there.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He's just a regular guy. Just a regular family guy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Dazzling. 19,000 people for an hour and a half.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. But when your wife sees the home and the PJ and the 38 cars, they go, I go out a lot, but look at this.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I hope that stays. I hope that works.

[Mark Normand]

I'm just saying it's not a bad life.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, no, it's not bad, but you can't buy your presence.

[Mark Normand]

You.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You have to be there. You have.

[Mark Normand]

I see, I see. Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Your presence is important.

[Mark Normand]

I hope she never sees. She's a great egg.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

She gets it all right. Does your wife give you shit for doing the road?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, she loves it now. But when the kids were little, it was tougher on her. Yeah, it was really tough.

[Brian Redban]

You need. In this life, it seems like you need a Woman who can deal with a lot.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You really gotta lay it out before you get married. So. A stupid thing. But nobody talked about where do you want to live? Talk about that. Do you want to have kids? How many? What religion? You know, I'm putting it out there.

[Brian Redban]

Sooner and sooner in these.

[Mark Normand]

Really? I did too.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah. I'm like. Just so you know, I'm dying on this island. Or hotel room.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Really.

[Brian Redban]

It's out there.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's really good. I never thought of that. I never had that problem. But I could never leave this island either.

[Mark Normand]

Epstein said the same thing.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Kill Tony lost another. Another good Kill Tony line. Where are the shades? Can I get Mark Shades in here, please?

[Mark Normand]

Well, yeah, but you know, I never thought I'd move to Brooklyn. But you make compromises.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's an island too.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. That's true.

[Brian Redban]

I can't believe you left Manhattan too.

[Mark Normand]

I know. Wasn't he? But I got a nice spot. It's cool. I got a brownstone.

[Brian Redban]

Great spot.

[Mark Normand]

Can't complain. Again. I get a compromise. I'm compromising, but maybe I'll take some. Some weekdays off.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I can't believe you don't.

[Mark Normand]

Starting to get feeling guilty. But that's how I work the new out. They're going to work the new stuff.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Yeah. We're all doing the same thing.

[Brian Redban]

Is your. What is every day like. How much time do you think you spend if you write? Is it at a desk? Are you taking.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I can write absolutely anywhere. I could sit down on this floor. Give me a pad and a pen and say, I think there's something funny about these toto toilets. And I'll just start noodling. I'll get a coffee. I think coffee is part of my system now.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Add. Add coffee to a pen. I think writing with a pen, actually. And I've seen some studies. It does something to your brain that this doesn't do.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Definitely memorize.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And of course, exercise does something to your brain.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I'm all pen. I'm with you.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, look at that.

[Brian Redban]

I got the same.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

I've typed nothing down. Which.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

There was very very few comics in my early days that had these things.

[Mark Normand]

Really.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Very, very.

[Brian Redban]

I don't know how you.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I was like the only one.

[Brian Redban]

I wrote down everything. I don't know. I'm much. I'm selective. But back in the day, I wrote every dumb thought same. Because you're like.

[Mark Normand]

You never know. Something could be something.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

The blessing of my career is about six months in. I Was watching some guy go on TV and get worse and worse and eventually he was finished. And I went, oh, this is really.

[Brian Redban]

Hard because he didn't have the material.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He didn't have material. And I realized, oh, this is really hard. And the. And this whole game is material.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Brian Redban]

That is crazy. To get those opportunities.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So. So from six months in, I said, okay, I need a. I need some sort of ritual here.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

To produce this stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Mm.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You do get stuff comes to you, but you need more.

[Brian Redban]

Who were your friends early on who were really pushing you?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Nobody pushed anybody.

[Brian Redban]

But I mean, if you just saw someone.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, Leno. It was always Leno.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Leno had the best stuff he got. He would just destroy. And you would just think, I just want to get that good. And he would get a gig in Atlantic City. And you go, wow, Atlantic City?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Imagine getting a gig in Atlantic City.

[Mark Normand]

And he's so damn confident. It's great. Like, he would go on Letterman with a hoagie, you know, and just eat it there. And I was like, who is this guy?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's crazy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. You know, again, it's the guy. There was just a few guys that loved it.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, I mean, nobody thought after the TV series you're gonna go back to the clubs.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, I mean, I had on air commitments from NBC for any other show. I wanted to make movies. I could have done anything. But I missed that. That brutality. I missed the brutality.

[Mark Normand]

And didn't you warm up the crowd at your own show?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, I would do a warm up, but we had a warm up guy. I would do a warm up. Yeah. I would do my tide. I see Ty is getting out blood stains now. Remember that?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Get the harpoon out of the chest. Harpoon is funny.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

If you've got a T shirt with blood stains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.

[Mark Normand]

That and Bozo the Clown. Those are my two big ones.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Bozo the clown.

[Mark Normand]

Bozo. Does he need the clown?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's not me.

[Mark Normand]

I think that's you. That's you.

[Brian Redban]

I'm pretty sure it's you.

[Mark Normand]

Does he need the. That's not Bozo the district attorney.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Really? Yeah. Doesn't ring a bell.

[Brian Redban]

I remember that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Wow, that's pretty.

[Mark Normand]

It's a good, great bit.

[Brian Redban]

He's been doing it so long, he's forgetting.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I never said that.

[Mark Normand]

Pull it up. We can find that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He said, that's a funny line.

[Mark Normand]

It was on the. You use it on the opening of the TV show. At one point. Because you did a clown episode with George. Remember that? With actually with.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Who cares?

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So, yeah, not that interesting.

[Brian Redban]

All right, so when you were done with Seinfeld and you go back to the clubs and you missed the brutality of that, was there any point where you're like, what the fuck am I doing? Or you're just like, this is the best.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

This is the best.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I mean, I had. I had. Had that experience that everyone wants, which is I'm doing exactly what I want to do and people like it. Sometimes you can have a hit thing. You know, there's a lot of actors are in things. A Marvel movie.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But that's not what I want to do. And then they do what they want to do, but it doesn't find any. An audience.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So I had the thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So I wasn't. I was satiated. You know, it probably kept you from.

[Brian Redban]

Being a dick, too. I mean, the fact you're being humbled again after all this success.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. By the crowds. Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I thought I would have crazy confidence after that, that would be. That I'd be a different performer entirely. And I found out very quickly.

[Mark Normand]

Same you.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Same.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. It's like when you go to Hawaii and you're like, I'm gonna feel good. You still hate yourself in Hawaii? You know, I used to say to.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

My friends, I gotta. I'm gonna move to another town. I go, are you bringing that head with you? Because if you bring that, you're gonna feel exactly the. The same.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, my friend moved to Denver. He's like, move back within six months. Yeah, dude.

[Mark Normand]

They think they'll change.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And didn't you shoot your HBO special when you. I think you told me you were a little. You weren't ready or you weren't feeling ready to shoot. I'm telling you for the last time, it was right after the show ended.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, no, I was ready. I had done a lot of tour. A long tour, Australia and Europe, and I was good.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. I thought you were saying it was one of the harder things you've done was shooting that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I had a brutal heckle I did at the album. Right.

[Brian Redban]

Or the taping.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

At the taping. It was at the Broadhurst on Broadway. And so two shows. First show, I go out really feeling good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And I'm just going, oh, I'm gonna just lay this down just the way I want it. And some guy. It was a. Was a Howard Stern fan. Did this blood curdling scream that just stopped. The whole room just went oh, that's still in there. No, no, we cut it out.

[Mark Normand]

I swear. I've heard that.

[Brian Redban]

I thought there was a heckle in there.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, no, we cut it out.

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It aired live.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And then if you saw it.

[Mark Normand]

I saw it live.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Okay. Then you did hear it.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And I just. And I had nothing. Just because all he said was my name.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And I had nothing. I couldn't think of anything. And it just kind of rocked me back.

[Brian Redban]

Now Heckler's listening are gonna know how to get us. Just say their name.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Say their name. But the guy it was, he's probably listening right now. Yeah, but it still went good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And one lady yelled something out. I love you. And you're like, I love you too, but I feel the need to see other people. And you had the opening bit. I'm not trying to blow you too much. But you had the opening bit about the. The standing ovation. And I remember thinking, what was that? You know, you got a standing O and you went, I love the standing O. Because not everybody wants to do it. There's always that one guy who's like, we doing this now?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, yeah, I still do that.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's gold. Yeah, but I. Opening a stand up show is so awkward. That's a perfect way to slide in a set. I always wish I had an opening like that. That's so natural.

[Brian Redban]

You were the other one too, about doing something. That's another great.

[Mark Normand]

Open it right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That you. That you're out, but you gotta go back. Yeah. I'll never beat that. Opening.

[Brian Redban]

Opening a show is the toughest.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's the toughest thing. Tough. Not as tough as closing. I don't have a great closer now. And I just hate it.

[Mark Normand]

I heard that actually.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, I have an end. But I used to have that bit about the bathroom stalls.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

The separation between the panels.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That was great. I really miss that guy.

[Mark Normand]

See, you love your old act. You hate your old act.

[Brian Redban]

Well, there's certain bits, I look back, I'm like, wow, I wish I could write a bit like that. Right. But there's. Yeah, but there's others that I'm just like. There's specials of mine.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I like. I never hated anything that I had that worked. Whoa.

[Brian Redban]

I wouldn't say I hate it. I think it's usually like my delivery or just the way I'm. It's little things. It's not like the bit that I'm.

[Mark Normand]

Just like, oh, I hate that bit.

[Brian Redban]

It's more just like there's little things that bother me more. But I don't. I don't get, like, too caught up in it.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Brian Redban]

But yeah, even listening to an old set, when you listen to an old version of a bit, I'm like, why was I telling it that way? I'm not mad. I'm just like, what the hell was I doing?

[Mark Normand]

I know, I know.

[Brian Redban]

Because it seems so simple once you crack a bit. But you forget that this is every time it's work.

[Mark Normand]

Have you guys ever listened to an old bit and thought, wow, how did I write like that? Now I'm gonna listen to this bit to learn how to write a bit. That way I'm learning how to write a bit for my own bit.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. That crazy. I'm not.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Redban]

Sometimes I'll listen to comedy, though, and just hear someone and be like, oh, I like. I'm not like this comic. But it'll remind me, oh, this is just silly. Or this is funny. It just reminds you somebody here, Regan. And you're just like, it's so silly.

[Mark Normand]

I know, I know.

[Brian Redban]

Just reminds you.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Not.

[Brian Redban]

I don't know. Sometimes you hear preachy comedy. You hear so many different types of acts at the Cellar or wherever, and it's great. Cause you're exposed to so much. But every once in a while you're like, what do I like? Why did I get into this? And that silliness is like, oh, that's what made me happy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That's what they want to see more than anything.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

They want to see you do what you like.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And the fact that you like it is what makes it fun for them.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

They do not care what you're talking about. They care only how you feel about what you're talking about. Especially when you bring up something stupid.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Why is he talking about this? Because I really like this subject. That, to me, is what a comedian should be. Not addressing what's been on your mind lately. That is not what. That's the Daily Show.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And nothing wrong with that. But that's not what Stand up is. Stand up is. We want to see a guy a little out of his mind, crazy into himself and obsessed with what he's obsessed with. It's the obsession that they come to hear. And that's when you're the funniest.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

When you're talking about something that, you know, this hasn't occurred to anyone else.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Steven Wright is the king of that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Any good comedian is doing that.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I think. Huh.

[Mark Normand]

Even Rodney talking about his wife hating him.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Well, I Mean, that was a pretty strict formula that he had.

[Mark Normand]

That's true, that's true.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And because he had had such struggles early on, he stuck to the formula.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But in person, he had a lot of other stuff going on that was interesting. And I would say to him, you should do that. And he'd go, no, no, no.

[Brian Redban]

Like what?

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Just, you know, he. He's philosophical guy, you know, about, you know, comedians are. What is life? This is all phony. This is all nonsense. Everything everybody does is meaningless.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

He had that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Every comedian has that kind of nihilistic lens on things, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Totally. But don't you feel like you open up and get vulnerable and talk about that thing you want to talk about that thing you're obsessed with and they don't go with it? That hurt. That sucks. Yeah. But I. Sometimes I feel like I can't get them there.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Sometimes you can, but you try. And I do believe. That's why I, like, go back to our favorite subject if you want to try for six months. I have this bit about ambulances. I told you about this. The sirens.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's one guy, you know, we feel bad. We don't know anything about him. We don't know how he lived. Let's get this. Whatever it is.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's just. It's just. I've been on this a year. It's still not working.

[Mark Normand]

I got a few of those.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's a couple little laughs in it that keep it alive. And that's. I like it. Because it's not working.

[Brian Redban]

You get in a toxic relationship with a joke premise sometimes, right?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. No, it's codependent.

[Mark Normand]

But unlike the relationship, you could fix this bit. It's possible that it could work one day. The relationship will never work. Yeah, but one day.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

But it'll never be as good as that bit that comes nice and easy. It'll never be that funny when you.

[Brian Redban]

Just get at a bit really early on and so rare, you get a gif like this. But it was about a guy on the subway who was masturbating and it was awful. And it was just like this awful moment with a girl was dating and she kept saying, you're just going to do. You're just going to let him do that. You're just gonna let him do that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And I.

[Brian Redban]

And the twist that just hit me on the subway was, I just turned. He said, I wasn't due to her. I was doing it to you. And the twist was I sit down, I go, you're just gonna let him do that.

[Mark Normand]

There you go.

[Brian Redban]

I was like, how did that not hit me? But it hit me on the. Like on the train. I was like, what? Not in the moment, obviously. I was like, oh, yeah. The expectations on her now.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah, that's fantastic.

[Brian Redban]

So. But it just. It was like a gift. And I was like, oh, I think that's it. And I tried it that night, and I got an applause break that never happened.

[Mark Normand]

That's the best.

[Brian Redban]

It's always. It's always like labor, labor. It's never just like, you know, that's why more and more I try to just not have the AirPods in because I'm just like. Just let it wander.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Brian Redban]

But, like, you know. You know what you're. It's like life. You know, what's healthy, you know, what you're supposed to do. You know, you're supposed to exercise. Sometimes you're bad, sometimes you're good. But you know that you're gonna get a gift if you. If you let your mind wander. It's just like, you know, you're supposed to listen to sets. You just. Sometimes you don't want to, but you gotta.

[Mark Normand]

Gotta do the work.

[Brian Redban]

You gotta.

[Mark Normand]

But don't you feel like when you do crack that ambulance bit, it's great because you get the ones that pop in, but there's gotta be jokes that you worked on for a year and you did crack it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. So, yeah, that pop tart thing.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, there you go.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

That took a long time and you nailed it. It doesn't matter. My whole philosophy is don't be a good accountant of your time and energy. Just don't. Don't even know what a waste of time that was for something that failed or succeeded.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

The hell with it. The only thing that matters is that struggle that you have adapted yourself to the struggle and you're comfortable with it. It's very Zen. Yeah, it is.

[Brian Redban]

A lot of regrets.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

It's a good way to.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It doesn't matter.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

What you want. It's what you want to be. It's not what you're getting. It's what you want to be. I want to be that guy that can suffer.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

For a long period of time. I want to be that guy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You know, the money or the jokes or those. Those things come. They come. They come on their own.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Jokes come on their own. The only thing we can do is to grind.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So if you. If you can figure out how to. Do you know how to fall in love with that. Then you got it.

[Mark Normand]

It's kind of like those boxers who are getting pummeled and they're going, ah, you know, like, we bring it on. I keep bombing and this joke is failing, but I'll take it.

[Brian Redban]

You're Jake LaMotta.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Hit me. Hit me again.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You never got me down.

[Mark Normand]

That ambulance bit. It hadn't gotten you down.

[Brian Redban]

I love that. His rock bottom was becoming a comedian. That was his low point.

[Mark Normand]

There's a lot of that. Stormy Daniels and Steve O and all these people. You're like, get. Get out of comedy.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Don't worry. Don't worry.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. It just kills me when I'm like, oh, I'm going to Dr. Grins or. Or the. The Comedy Castle and Mark Ridley's. And you're like, oh, this. Reality stars.

[Brian Redban]

You guys aren't playing to the same crowd, though.

[Mark Normand]

No. God.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

The comedy ecosystem. Only the NFL approaches the comedy ecosystem, discarding the unwanted.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Ain't that the truth. Cte.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Well, we want to plug your Beacon dates here.

[Brian Redban]

Jerry Seinfeld at the Beacon. Yeah, of course. Definitely. Don't miss this. December 19th and 20th. Is that what it says? My eyesight sucks.

[Mark Normand]

No, that's old. That's October. Yeah, we need the new dates.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

No, it's December. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Something 20th. 19th and 20th. Okay.

[Brian Redban]

At the Beacon Theater. And in January as well. Don't. I mean, this is. Is a great show. And it's the Beacon. It's like the best venue ever.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

It's a good place to hear a comic. That's why I like playing it. Anybody that says, I saw you there, I know. I'm. What happened.

[Mark Normand]

Right, Right.

[Brian Redban]

It's a good one.

[Mark Normand]

It's a great one. That little elevator. All of it.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I'm back in the clubs to work out a new hour.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And how long was that take?

[Mark Normand]

I'll do a year.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Really grind it out. Really eat shit just for.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And what about the income? No, not concerned as a dip.

[Mark Normand]

That's a dip. But you can add some shows, do pretty well.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You sell out, you hit the bonus.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You do the same way.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah. We do the same thing. I'm. I'm back in clubs right now to. Just to make sure I'm tight for when I tape.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

So I'm tape.

[Brian Redban]

So I just want the repetition.

[Mark Normand]

But, yeah, great. Yeah. So I'm at Kansas City. They got a funny bone there now. Des Moines, baby. Really doing it. Brea, California. Bend, Oregon. Couple casinos. That's where the income is really at Grand Ronde. Never Even heard of that. New Brunswick stress factory. San Antonio and Tulsa. Really? Your kids never gonna see it. All right, this is what you call the Neglect Tour. Indianapolis, all that.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Buffalo, kids, a stripper tour.

[Mark Normand]

Portland, Providence, Lexington. We're going far. Dania Beach. Hopefully we're going to go by then Spokane. All right, what do you got?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I got Carnegie hall, baby.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, that's the big one that's passed.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, we got.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Oh, you did that already?

[Mark Normand]

Well, when this comes out before.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah, but. Yeah, but this is coming out the 14th. 14th, so. Yeah, we got Stanford, Connecticut in February. I'm doing Omaha, Nebraska. It's great. Club. My funny bone.

[Mark Normand]

Tough life.

[Brian Redban]

DC Improv in January. Yeah.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

You mean to tell me this works? People are paying attention to this.

[Mark Normand]

I can't believe it. Well, they want to hear when their town pops up.

[Brian Redban]

And then we got. Yes. And then the big one. Yes. Stanford, Connecticut, we got that. Chicago. And the big one, Tampa theater.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

I am so clicked off at this point, waiting to hear my town.

[Brian Redban]

And go see Jerry at the Beacon. Jerry, thanks so much, man.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Thank you for helping me with the Beacon.

[Mark Normand]

Go see the ambulance Bit bomb. All right, thanks, folks.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

See you on Kill Tony.

[Mark Normand]

Sunday's the day for my next bender.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

A bit of peck, you know, the beard juice. Close.

[Brian Redban]

I've had a little too much burping.

[Mark Normand]

And Norman's talking about the Pope. And I get down in the same.

[Brian Redban]

Way up on the roof like the cops coming.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous.

[Brian Redban]

I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans.

[Mark Normand]

This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

We might be true.

[Brian Redban]

And Doug, here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual.

[Jerry Seinfeld]

Fascinating.

[Mark Normand]

It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Brian Redban]

Uh, limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera.

[Mark Normand]

They see us.

[Brian Redban]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty, Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings Ferry Unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.