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Dami Hope Exclusive On Break Up with Indiyah “Her Story Didn’t Add Up”
01:58:29
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- [00:02]
Interviewer
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Dami Hope
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Interviewer
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Dami Hope
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Interviewer
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Dami Hope
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Interviewer
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- [00:28]
Dami Hope
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- [00:44]
Interviewer
Find Ollie Sleep Solutions for the whole family@ollie.com that's O L L Y dot com. You're three years into your relationship. Then India was spotted kissing inside UK star Marlon Garcia.
- [00:58]
Dami Hope
When these videos come out, all of my friends, all on their phones and I have to listen to everybody's phone ping at the same time. What was such a beautiful relationship to now? This is how it ends. My dad was a dreamer and something inside me just always felt like maybe there's more. And then I get a call that's like I'm just calling from Long Island. I said, oh, hold, hold up, hold up, hold up. Let's make TV. The first year I made like 600.
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Interviewer
Wait, hold on. Damn.
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Dami Hope
Yes. It was like, oh, my dad was so happy.
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Interviewer
Now what did you love about India?
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Dami Hope
I loved her feistiness. It's not sitting right with me.
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Interviewer
I'm not going to lie cuz I'll
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Dami Hope
deal with you later. It's fine.
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Interviewer
Her popularity shot up quickly when you two left. I would imagine that there was a lot of pressure immediately to then sustain that because so many couples break up.
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Dami Hope
They've been accusing me cheating, I'm gay. They attacked my masculinity.
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Interviewer
So for everyone making the noise, what do you want to tell them?
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Dami Hope
When my dad died, I feel like everything anyone could say about me, it just didn't matter anymore.
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Interviewer
It gives me chills when you said that because I could see he was everything to you.
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Dami Hope
I've never had my heart broken before.
- [02:10]
Interviewer
Hey there. Before we begin the episode, I just want to say thank you for choosing we need to talk. Doing this podcast is one of the greatest joys of my life and. And I want to continue to share it with you. So hit follow and the Bell icon. It takes just a second and it helps us to continue to grow this podcast. Dami Hope, we need to talk.
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Dami Hope
Sweet.
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Interviewer
I haven't seen you to sit down to do a long form interview like this.
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Dami Hope
This is my first ever one. I feel like there's certain reasons why I actually stepped away from, you know, doing things like this. Okay, so.
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Interviewer
Okay, so why talk now?
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Dami Hope
Why talk now? It's. Cause I feel like I have a lot to just get out. So it's not even to like try and convince anybody, oh, I'm this, or I'm this person. It's just to actually speak my truth. And you can take away whatever it is that you want from it, but hopefully you actually take an actual understanding of me. Okay, that makes sense.
- [03:16]
Interviewer
I love it. I love it. So I think in order to get to know who you are, let's go to the roots.
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Dami Hope
To the roots.
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Interviewer
The roots. And I feel like the roots are Nigeria.
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Dami Hope
The roots are Nigeria. And it's a, it's a, it's something I'm proud of. Like, I'm proud of being Nigerian. I'm proud of like, you know, my family. I'm proud of what my family did to, you know, try to give us a better life. Because my dad was a dreamer. He's the reason why we, we probably migrated. Migrated to Ireland.
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Interviewer
Yes.
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Dami Hope
And like, just, just as a kid, I can remember like, you know, flashes of like me getting, me getting to this point where we're in Ireland, obviously probably not in. Probably not legally or wherever. Wherever we. Because, you know, we're very, very clever people. You know, very clever, very clever people. So it's like, obviously there's a plan in place to how to like, you know, to, to make sure we're able to stay here. And I feel like back in them days was a bit easier as opposed
- [04:16]
Interviewer
to now because this is the, the 90s.
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Dami Hope
Yeah. Yeah.
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Interviewer
When you came here.
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Dami Hope
I'd say 90s. I was born 96. Okay. I think I was in, I was in Nigeria till like, maybe I was about three years old. And from there I remember me and my little sister. She was two years after me. So it was just me and her. And then it was me and my mom and then my dad and then, you know, he'd bring us over to Ireland. And I remember, I think at first we used to like, we used to live in a hostel with like a bunch of like loads of different people. Because obviously when you come to this place, it's like you're trying to find a place for your, you know, for your family and for yourself and I remember, like, little flashes of just, like. It's just like, as a kid, you can remember just little dots of moments.
- [04:57]
Interviewer
Yes.
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Dami Hope
Of like, oh, I'm in this hostel. I can see my mom playing chess with, you know, people that she's just making friends with in this situation. And I know everybody was against him doing this because I remember my grandmother told me, because my mom's from my grandmother's side. And she told. She was like, we don't have to, you know, to go. To go and do all these things. But obviously, he wanted to make something out of himself for the family. I remember this memory of, like, my dad. I was sitting on my dad's lap, and then he has a car, and he's like, I'm sitting on. Sitting on the lap, and, like, my hands are holding it, but he's there. And I'm only, like. I think at this point, I'm only even just five years old, but it's a very vivid and clear imagery I have of him. And then I remember alongside that, we finally got, like, I think an estate house. Okay. So now we actually got, like, a place. And it was, like, maybe three bedrooms. It was like our first home there. And, you know, we're shifting from one house to another house. It's just me and my sister. Until obviously, you know, they start adding, you know, the new members. Now. That's the clever. That's the clever part for, like, why we're gonna be able to stay here or whatever, you know. So they start adding them, and then, you know.
- [06:05]
Interviewer
Can we expand on that? Because I get what you're saying.
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Dami Hope
You get what I'm saying, Right.
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Interviewer
But if you could paint the picture, because I don't think your family's gonna get in trouble. Cause almost everybody was doing that. So it was you and your sister?
- [06:17]
Dami Hope
Yeah, it was me and my sister. First we were Nigerian. Like, we came from Nigeria. And then I think we had, like, my younger brother. And he was now Irish. Like, now he was born in Ireland. And then every other sibling we had after that, me and my sister don't have any Irish or English names. But those lot, they got the name still. Like, he got David, they got Cynthia. They got Amanda. Me, it's just Femi and Dami. You know what I mean? It's just straight Nigerians. But the ones. The ones that came with the Irish passport, they got the Irish names. They got the names, too. You get me?
- [06:48]
Interviewer
Yeah, definitely. So with you coming in, I wanted to. I looked at that period of the late 1990s. Early 2000s in Ireland. 1, because I'm just fascinated about Ireland, but secondly, because you were coming and I saw that period was called the Celtic Tiger, where Ireland traditionally had these low. I mean, these very high rates of unemployment. But then during that period, everything took off. The economy took off, and there was this great demand for service workers, so much so that the population within Ireland couldn't maintain it. So I think that was your father being clever, smart, saying, this is a great opportunity for me, so he selected Ireland. What was it that your father and mother were doing for work? You remember?
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Dami Hope
So my mother has always been, like, in care. So she's always studied care. She's always done care. Like my dad, I say he's a man of all trades.
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Interviewer
So strong, you say strong family unit.
- [07:53]
Dami Hope
Yeah, very, very strong family unit. Because there'll be times where it's like, my dad would probably have to relocate from. We live in Wexford. He'd have to relocate to Dublin for forever. A job he has to do, and we probably wouldn't. And he'd have to get a place over there, so we probably wouldn't even see him. Now, I feel like it was a lot of hard work, whatever they were doing at that age. But, you know, when you're young, I'm just seeing that I want to play outside. I just want to, you know, make friends and stuff. But then when you look back at it, it's like, they've done a lot for us. Like, you know, they've done a lot for me, my siblings, and, like, just like. And there's a lot of happy memories in it because, you know, some people the situation could be, like, horrible. But I don't remember it as being horrible. I remember still being, like a happy, you know, youthful kid that got to play outside, that still got, like, bicycles whenever. You know what I mean? They still got all these little things that, you know, you see, you'll see other kids get, like, in your neighborhood. And, like, I'm enrolled in school now. And, you know, school is. School is amazing. You're making more friends. And you're now. You're now part of, like, a system.
- [08:56]
Interviewer
Yes.
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Dami Hope
You know what I mean? Like, you're actually inside the system. I'm enrolled in school. I'm doing all these things, you know. So it's like, now I'm part of Ireland.
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Interviewer
Interesting.
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Dami Hope
You get what I mean?
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Interviewer
I get what you mean. But, you know, it's interesting to me because you are Nigerian.
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Dami Hope
Yeah.
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Interviewer
But at a very young age, you're in Ireland, so there's a cultural difference. There's also a racial difference, because I was looking at the stats, too, is in that time, and even now, less than 1% of Ireland is black. So you are distinctly different. But how you describe it, you felt like you were fully accepted and brought into the community.
- [09:38]
Dami Hope
Yeah. And there was, at that time, I could say there wasn't actually many black people that lived in. In our town. So it was very, kind of like, just very, like, unique and happy that, you know, people are actually accepting of that at that point. It wasn't racism because I was the kid that I could jump higher than everybody else. I could. I could run faster than everybody else. So it's like I was using all these talents that comes with me probably being, you know, from my ethnicity to kind of show off. So then it's like people look at that, and then they kind of like. They kind of, like, pull you closer. When you can do all these things. It's not like, oh, it's like I'm a monkey dancing for people. It's just like I'm using these things that I know will kind of give me more appease to people, even at an early age, to, like, you know. But then the only thing I'll say is, like, I feel like even at early age is just when it comes to, like, you know, teachers saying your name or, you know, mispronouncing it. And then that's when it starts becoming, oh, yeah, I remember now. I'm still kind of different because you do the roll call, and it's like, I'm doing all these things. Yeah, I'm accepted. But then the roll call, and she's trying to say my name, but she's butchering it. She's not saying it. She's not saying it the way she's saying James and, you know, Henry and, you know, Samantha, she's saying, it's like I did, and it's very. And then you just remember that, oh, okay.
- [10:57]
Interviewer
Is that when you change? Cause you. Cause you go by Dami?
- [11:00]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I go by Dami. And I feel like a big part of the reason for it is, like, even though I was young, it was still something that kind of stuck with me all the way from primary school to, like, secondary school, because my full name is Ade Damola Omobolaji. And then, like, I feel like when teacher would. Like when teachers go to the Omobolaji part, it would be like they would kind of say apology. And then it would be like this little smirk. Like, you know, as kids we make jokes and we tease each other and stuff like this. And it's like, it's funny. Yeah. But then at the same time, it's like, it's not that hard to say. And it's like, it can't really keep being like this every day. And then now the kids have a new joke. You'd be like, oh, apology. You know what I mean? But I'm not. I'm not an apology. I'm not sorry. You know what I mean? There's nothing. So. But it's a thing that, like, it kind of sticks. And then as obviously I got older and you know, even in secondary school, it's like now, at this point, now I'm more of an. I'm a teenager. I'm closer to an adult. So when it's still happening, it's like, yeah, it's not like I'm changing for anyone else, but it's more like, you know, you can just call me Dami. Just call me Dami. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's some people that actually did try, and they'll pronounce it well, or they're fascinated by the name, or they'd be like, oh, my God, how do you say it? You teach them and they get it. But there's some people never really care to, you know, ask how to say it. And they'll just keep switching it, different day, remixing it a different day. And then, you know.
- [12:20]
Interviewer
Yes. You know, we had Big Zoo on.
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Dami Hope
Yeah, Big Zoo. Okay. Yes.
- [12:25]
Interviewer
Who I love. Right. But his name is Zaher.
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Dami Hope
Zaher. Yes, yes.
- [12:29]
Interviewer
Right. And I was asking him about this.
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Dami Hope
He said only his mom calls him that. Right? Yeah.
- [12:34]
Interviewer
Yes, yes, exactly. Only his mom calls it. And I was asking him, how does he feel knowing that his name. He's had. Had to Anglicize his name in order for other people to be more comfortable. And he felt uncomfortable initially. Right. So he has to put himself in a place of discomfort to make others feel comfortable. I feel like this is what often happens when we're anglicizing names or. But now I get it. Because we're trying to fit into a culture. That part of anyone's life. Right. Is so important because you're, what, early
- [13:15]
Dami Hope
teens, early teens, probably like 12, 12, 13.
- [13:18]
Interviewer
Coming 12, 13, you're beginning to figure out what your identity is.
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Dami Hope
Yeah.
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Interviewer
And I always say that our identity is the story that we tell about ourselves. Right. So at that age, what was the story you were telling about yourself to yourself?
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Dami Hope
To myself. I feel like I was the Story I was telling to myself is, like, I'm supposed to be somebody. The type of music that I liked at that point. I loved Eminem so much. Like, I'd run away to. I'd run away on the computer, mixing, Mixing, mixing Little. Little CDs. CDs of Eminem. Because obviously at that point, you had to, like, rip file and download it so you didn't have to pay for it and stuff like this. I'd be finding new ways to do. So I was like. I was kind of, like, very nerdy and very, like, who I was is very nerdy in the sense that, like, I would make things happen for me. At the end of the day, see, I'm alone. I gotta cry about it. But I will eventually, you know, be where I need to be, make the friends that I need to make. It's the same way, you know, I've done it before. It's just. I will do that again. And. Am I answering your question? Just.
- [14:24]
Interviewer
No, you're answering perfectly.
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Dami Hope
And there's one of the boys that I really loved. Like, he loved rapping. I loved rapping. And we'd always be doing it on break. And it was like, our escapism. It was Facebook error. And I feel like it got to a point, you know, back in Facebook days, like, all the kids used to, like, you know, change their names on Facebook, so you try and, like, have a stage name. And obviously, I used to write. I used to write, like, bars. I used to write poems. I used to write, like, just write stories and stuff like this. And I remember I was like, just thinking I was feeling down on myself, and I was like, yo. Like, I was trying to figure out, like, which names I could do. There was one. I was like, damn, Zola. I was like, damn, Nader. I was like, you know, I was just like, free ball and stuff. And I was like, but no, that doesn't hit. Like, what do I need? Like, what do I need in myself? Like, what do I always need? And then I was like, hope. And I was like, yo, Dami Hope. And then literally, I just put my name that same day on Facebook. Put my name, Dami Hope. It was a thing where it was like, there's no mistake now. I've reintroduced myself. This is who I am.
- [15:25]
Interviewer
That's wild. I shouldn't say that. That's fascinating. You named. Yeah, you came up with that name.
- [15:32]
Dami Hope
Came up with that name. I literally sat down, changed my name on Facebook, came in the next day. It was a thing where it's like, if you know me, stammy hope. And then from then, it's like everybody just started obviously knowing me as that name also.
- [15:43]
Interviewer
Did you have a love for science? Is that.
- [15:45]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
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Interviewer
Okay.
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Dami Hope
I feel like. I feel like I always just thought biology was the easiest, like, because it's just, you know, human anatomy, photosynthesis. It's just how things, you know, are made or how living things. It's just. I feel like it was one of the ones that was just easy to remember, you know what I mean? Especially biology. It's just organs, just bones, as long as you just keep reading about it. And then when it came to the chemistry aspect, though, I was like, please, please. Not for me. But I used to do biology and stuff like that, I think. Yeah, I was a big fan of it, but I was more. I feel like I was more of an English. I always just loved English when I wanted to go to university, you know, when we're filling out all the things that we want to do, I was like, oh, I want to do just anything with literature, journalism, anything to do with English. And my dad was like, there's no money inside that one, so you have to go and look for the ones that have money. And then I'm like, obviously, science. I like science, too. And then it's like there was biopharmaceutical courses with bioscience, and then it was a thing where I was like, you know, got to do what old man says. So did the science, right? But to be honest, he wasn't lying because obviously, when. When I actually started working and, you know, I. After university, after university, and I actually started working. I got my, you know, first job, and, you know, it was like, I started off as a. Not an intern, but there's a different word for it, but I guess it's kind of the same. Whatever. So I started off as that, and then, like, so quickly I built my way up to be the manager within, like, two years.
- [17:15]
Interviewer
Okay.
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Dami Hope
Do you know what I mean? There's people older than me that were there. There's people that were there.
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Interviewer
And you were doing. And you were doing what there?
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Dami Hope
I was doing a microbiology, okay? So I had my own team. Like, we had rotors. Like, there's two teams, A and B. I managed maybe, like, 15 people. So we worked four days on, four days off, and we were, you know, doing tests for, you know, microorganisms and food, water. Even when Covid was happening, like, we were. We were like a big part in just, like, you know, checking all this stuff. And Pat, look at that. Yeah.
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Interviewer
Microbiologist.
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Dami Hope
Microbiologist. Yeah. He wasn't lying, though, because they were paying pretty well. They were paying pretty well. And, you know, at that point, you start to, like, you start to forget. It's not like I forgot the things that I like, but you get so honed in, because this is my job. And, you know, there's times where I actually had more time to do things. But now at this point, it's like I have to do all this managing stuff. I have to train people. I have to do this. So it's like all this literature stuff and all these poetries and all these, you know, things that I used to always do. Where's the time, right?
- [18:11]
Interviewer
Cause you're focused on work. Yes. So would you say before you went into Love island that you were really happy with who you were, the man that you had become?
- [18:24]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I feel like before I went in, I definitely felt proud of where I was. I felt proud of where I've reached. But something inside me just always felt like, maybe there's more. And I remember obviously Covid is like, settling down. And I think Love island must have come around this period. And I was on my four days off at this time, and I went to one of my best friend's house and we were just chilling. We were just, you know, Drake and joshing. Like, we do. Cause he's the guy that I make all my silly decisions with. Because if I go down, you go down. And we're good with that.
- [18:55]
Interviewer
Everybody has a friend like that.
- [18:56]
Dami Hope
Yeah, we're good with that. Like, so.
- [18:58]
Interviewer
And I'm sorry, and who's the friend?
- [18:59]
Dami Hope
My friend's name is Wally.
- [19:01]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [19:01]
Dami Hope
Yeah, Wally. Shout out Wally if you ever see this. But. Yeah, but like, I was in Wally's house and he just. He must have told me that, like, oh, one of our boys had applied to Ting. And I was like, oh, applied to Love Island. I was like, oh, should I just. Like, I'm chilling right now. Should I just do for the crack and just see, like, Just do for the crack. I didn't even. It was like a trigger that went in my head where I was just like, you know, you hesitate and you procrastinate. But I was like, just do it, bro. And I went downstairs, did that whole recording of like, oh, this is on the spot. On the spot. I went downstairs, he was still working. Because he was working. I was just chilling with him. I went downstairs, did the recording thing. Like, oh, yo, this is where I feel like I should be. Here, blah, blah, blah. And then I posted it. And I remember I sent it to them. And then I remember, like, maybe two weeks, I was just working, doing my thing, and I get a call and it's like, oh, hello, is this Dami? And I was like, yeah, yeah, who's this? Obviously I'm still in my latex gloves, bro, trying to do all this. I was like, yeah, yeah, who's this? She's like, oh, I'm just calling from Love Island. You sent her to this thing. I said, oh, hold, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. Let me just go outside for a second. Take the back room. And then she's just talking to me, saying that, oh, they really, like, enjoyed my thing. And then, you know, just tell me more about yourself. I'm telling them more about myself. And then before I know, it's like, oh, I'm on to the next one. And then, you know, dressing up for an interview. Then I wanted to defy me to the uk, and then I'm on to the next one. But they always say, like, oh, you're not in till you get in.
- [20:25]
Interviewer
And so we've had a few Love Islanders, actually, several, like Maura Higgins. We had Lucinda Strafford. We had. Oh, my God, we've had. This is terrible, because Megan Barton Hansen. We've had Shakira Khan. We've had several. All of them. All of them have said that a key reason for going on Love island was to build Brandt. Matter of fact, some of them said love was never a part of the equation. What's your take?
- [20:57]
Dami Hope
I'm not gonna lie to you. And, like, people might say I'm lying, but I'm not. I just wanted to do for the crack. I just wanted to do just to have fun and talk to girls. So when the day actually happened and I walked in and they were all just there, I just said, wait, what? I'm actually here now. And I know everybody's watching me. Shit. Do you know what I mean? I'm thinking in my head, oh, shit. Now I actually have to have Riz because, you know, you're just. I'm just playing around, just thinking, like, oh, yeah, this is my personality. I'm just being personal, but I'm just showing them who I really am. And the, you know, producers and all them are enjoying me. So this is, like, why they keep bringing me forward. But at this stage in time, it's like, I'm not really, like. I've seen, like, people get, you know, careers off the back of it.
- [21:36]
Interviewer
So you're thinking it's just for the crack. It's just jokes. It's not anything brand building wise. But was any part of that you wanted to enter a relationship, you wanted to find love?
- [21:54]
Dami Hope
I guess. I guess. I guess I didn't really think I'd even find love. I just thought I'd just go on and just like, you know, speak to people and talk to people. And at that point, I guess, like sometimes when I watch the show as well, it never really seemed like, you know, when there's white girls, it never really seemed like maybe that, you know, black guys were their type or they would be the main focus. So in my head it's like I'm thinking, if there's no black girls who like, are my, say, my first, you know, type or whatever, if they're not there, like, how is this gonna work? Obviously I've dated white girls because I grew up in Ireland as well. So it's not like I'm not open to it or whatever it is. But, you know, you just have that little doubt of when you've seen other, like, you know, people go on the show and it doesn't really seem like they work out because there's no one that wants them because maybe that's just not their, you know, type.
- [22:40]
Interviewer
Right. And I think prior to your series. So yours is series eight.
- [22:43]
Dami Hope
Yeah, series eight, yeah.
- [22:44]
Interviewer
So prior to series eight, the coupling was always decided by the contestants.
- [22:50]
Dami Hope
Yeah, the contestants, yeah.
- [22:51]
Interviewer
Right. And historically what the commentary always was was there was a pattern that if you were black, you were left to the end. So was that a thought when you went in and then were you shocked at how the coupling was set up?
- [23:07]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I remember going into the show thinking that, oh, when I get in, everyone's gonna have to step forward for, you know. Cause that's the way they did it. It was like, oh, step forward if you want. So and so. And I remember I was the first person to come in. I'm seeing all these beautiful girls and then I'm just like, oh, okay, there's two black girls here. Okay, I can work with this. This is great. I know I'm gonna step forward anyways. This is fantastic. There was like some micros I was attracted to as well. And I was like, so it doesn't matter, but I will step forward. And then I remember, so the public are actually gonna choose. And I said, oh, God, really? Always gotta put a challenge in front of bro, you know.
- [23:43]
Interviewer
But you didn't like that?
- [23:44]
Dami Hope
No, no, I didn't mind. You leave it. At first, it was just like. Cause I prepared my mind so much that I would step forward, you know? I mean, because I built all the confidence now to step forward, even if no one steps forward for you. Do you know what I mean? And this is on national tv. So then I'm like, okay, yeah, this is the public choose for me, which is an easier route. So then no one gets, you know, embarrassed or anything like that. And then, yeah, the public chosen. I guess they chose who they chose for me first. And it was fine for the most part.
- [24:09]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [24:09]
Dami Hope
Until.
- [24:10]
Interviewer
Until.
- [24:11]
Dami Hope
Until, you know. Until you did the switcheroo.
- [24:13]
Interviewer
Yes, yes. All right, so let's. Let's. Let's break this down. Right, so you go in. Truly, who caught your eye?
- [24:21]
Dami Hope
Initially, I feel like when I went in, it was definitely my ex, India. Okay. Initially. Cause she had, like. She had, like. She had the. What's it called? The piercing hair. Yes. And she looked like her hair was funky, and she just looked like she was. There's personality here already. Cause I came with double nose rings. So I was like, this is a bit of me. Bit of me. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And then obviously, I think the other girl's probably Amber and then Paige and. But, like, yeah, just like, it was
- [24:53]
Interviewer
India who caught my eye.
- [24:54]
Dami Hope
It was India that caught my eye for her.
- [24:56]
Interviewer
But the public had chosen Amber.
- [24:58]
Dami Hope
Yeah, they did.
- [24:59]
Interviewer
For you to couple up with. All right, so once something like that happens, but someone else has caught your eye, how do you navigate that? And then also, I mean, I've been doing reality TV forever. I know production is in there.
- [25:14]
Dami Hope
They're trying to work their situation with their little webs and suggestions. Are you sure this is what you want to do, bro? Like, that's when I knew, okay, this is production driven. Okay, we go make some TV then.
- [25:24]
Interviewer
Yes. And how did you find the TV aspect? Because a lot of people find that difficult.
- [25:32]
Dami Hope
The TV aspect, the fact that if
- [25:36]
Interviewer
there was no tv, if you were literally a bunch of people in a villa, you could just walk up, talk to anybody you want to. But because it's a TV show, that you have to have it structured in a way that drives entertainment.
- [25:50]
Dami Hope
I feel like, for me, subconsciously, you kind of notice these things that they put in place. Because, like, say, for instance, I want to go talk to someone. Like, I want to go speak to her. I'll be on my way to speak to her, and suddenly I'm getting, oh, no, Dami, come over here. And I was like, yeah.
- [26:05]
Interviewer
Wait, what?
- [26:06]
Dami Hope
Cause then it's like, then they put someone else with this person that I wanted to speak to or, you know, I mean, or I'm having a conversation that I feel like is going really well with someone, but then obviously this person has now been sent over here to, like, talk to this person. I'm just like, okay, guys, you know, but like, I feel like that was the frustrating part about it because it's like, I want to be able to speak to people. I thought when I'm coming here, I'm going to have like, free will to actually just speak to the people that I want to speak to and build on it. And I get like, yeah, give everyone a chance. But going back and looking back at the show, because I did watch it for. I did watch it, to be honest. And I remember looking back and I remember some of the first conversations like India and I had, they weren't even there.
- [26:46]
Interviewer
Oh, really?
- [26:46]
Dami Hope
You know what I mean? So it's like these are moments where, like, I feel like these were building blocks for us as well. That would have been like, quiet, but you would have noticed that, oh, these guys actually get along. And I'm seeing that you're putting the clip of her and Davide, who inherently just not even attracted to her anyway, and it's like, what's the point of, you know, this? Do you get what I mean? It's almost like it becomes a little game at a certain point.
- [27:10]
Interviewer
But so on this, I think what's so hard and this is a challenge that I think every reality dating show has is to your point is a lot of people are themselves, but a puffed up version, an exaggerated version of themselves, and then some people are just outright faking and fraudulent with who they're representing to be. So how do you form a relationship romantically or even platonically with people when you're all. You're each other's representatives and not each other. You know what I mean? Like, so even in that first conversation with India, how do you know, like, you're. You're getting to know her versus representation of her.
- [27:51]
Dami Hope
Mm. That's the thing. I feel like you don't because, like, when you come out the villa like that feel like that's when, like the person that you did speak to, those parts of them are still there, but it's not really the full representative of that person. You know what I mean? And I feel like you figure it out, you actually find out about it when you come out because, like, inu is like soft spoken, quiet, you know, gentle, but then on the outside, she's feisty, she's loud. She can speak up. She does this. And it's like, obviously on the show, I get it. As a black woman as well, you might have to keep yourself at a certain, you know, wavelength to a piece to, you know, so. Which I fully understand, and I get it. That's why. But most of the time, as well, like, she just didn't actually care too much. She was just living in the bubble, like a peaceful bubble, as she would always say. So, you know, you notice they doing things, or they'd be whispering, or they'd be, like, saying this and that, and it's like they're finding out intel or they're this. And it's like. Like, now you're. You're being performative, and we can tell, but not call now no names because, you know, it's a long time ago.
- [28:55]
Interviewer
Right.
- [28:55]
Dami Hope
But. And I get it. Everyone came in for, you know, different reasons. So. And I guess, like, if you're. If you're there to build your own, like, whatever it is, you're going to do the things that you feel like you need to do to get that.
- [29:05]
Interviewer
Yeah, for sure. For sure. Can we talk about Casa More? Because I think that's when your star power, if you will, and India's star power and your relationship went to another level.
- [29:19]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [29:20]
Interviewer
So do you remember that? And did. And did you. And also, as you're going into that, because you don't know what the. What the audience is thinking. So what were you thinking? The audience was thinking, I feel like going into.
- [29:35]
Dami Hope
Before going into that and, like, looking back at it now. Cause obviously, I was in the villa. India and I weren't that intense yet. And we'd only, like, kissed, like, you know, a couple times. I don't even think we shared a bed yet. Or I'm not even. I can't even remember. I don't think we had shared a bed or anything yet. And it was a thing where it's like, I feel like on the outside, I. I feel like parasocially, people are looking at something else, and it's more intense for them than it is for us. And we'd have this conversation. I remember me, Jax, Paige, and India, we'd have this conversation about, like, we feel like Casa Moore is coming up. Coming up. Because we've reached this. Because we all know, like, four weeks Casa Moore has to be coming up. So we're all having conversations and we're talking about, like, oh, yeah, we're all going to be open Minded, like, we're also going to explore and, you know, talk to people or whatever. But obviously the audience don't see these conversations. So for us, we already, like, have spoken and we know like, that, like, what we're gonna, like, you know, be open minded to do or whatever. So when Casta Moore happens and I feel like outside world looking in, it's like I'm the only one that's now stepped out of this relationship that's not even a relationship because we've probably only kissed three times. Do you know what I mean? But outside world looking in, they're thinking, oh, nah, this guy is. He's a villain. He doesn't. He's just like going crazy and he's just trying to get with all the girls. But it's like, I'm just doing things that, like, are familiar to me when I'm actually dating someone. And like, I'm trying to get to know someone. And in that short space of time, it was like, you know what? This is a connection that I feel like I could build on. And I feel like India was just like me. So I feel like she's gonna obviously talk to people as well. There could be black boys there. I could think in my head, there could be a boy from South London that, you know what I mean, that she relates to. So in my head I'm like thinking, like, I don't know what's going on in this. It's such a short space of time to like, you know, say, okay, this is like, I'm locked. I'm locked. I'm locked off. Cause I didn't come off. I didn't come on this show to pretend to be someone I'm not or to like, sacrifice my whole experience because of what, like, the audience might, you know, think or want when you're not even in the show. Do you know what I mean? So when this whole situation happened and I don't know, I got like an inkling, you know, I got an inkling that SIS was coming back with something anyway, so I was like, you know what? Let's burn the whole place down. Let's have some fun. And I remember I was in my. I was in. I went to have a meeting with, I think probably one of the producers or whatever. And then I was just like, oh, I remember I went back down because I had to, like, do my speech, like, speech of, like, who I want to pick back. And I was like thinking, bro, we gotta go crazy over here. We're gonna. At the end of it, you Gotta say, Summer's not over. You gotta, like, you gotta.
- [32:07]
Interviewer
So this really was your line?
- [32:09]
Dami Hope
This is really my line, bro. I was like, no, we gotta pop. We gotta pop it off. Because if the world is obviously, like. Cause I got told, like, obviously. When I was, like, in Castle. I remember. I think obviously there was the two girls, China and Summer. And I think obviously I was getting to know the both of them more so. And I remember, obviously, I think I kissed Summer. But then I wanted to kiss China as well. Cause I just wanted to. I'm a yearner. I'm a lipster. I just wanted to. I just wanted to see, like, if the sparks would fly. And I remember, I think I was about to do China. And then they came over to me like, oh, Dami, chill out, man. You're doing too much. And I said, oh, okay, fair enough. Cool, cool, cool. Since you obviously all feel that way, you know, you gotta just gotta go hard to go home, boy.
- [32:53]
Interviewer
Because a lot of people will pull back.
- [32:54]
Dami Hope
No. If they just heard.
- [32:56]
Interviewer
If someone just said, you're doing too much, I think most people will pull back.
- [32:59]
Dami Hope
Nah, I just felt like I was thinking in my head, bro, everybody's probably against me right now. So, you know what I mean? Let's just make good tv. Like, just. Let's make good tv. And, like, in my line, the line might sound cringy now. Like, you know, people watching it, but in that space, being in that, it's like, you know what? Let's go, guys. You know what I mean? And then, obviously, I think sis came in, and she obviously had someone by her arm. I remember she was just talking about, like, oh, I see his true colors now. And mind you, I don't know what she's done, but I just know she's come back with someone. I'm restraining myself and be like, are you colorblind? Because you're here, too, with someone else. Because we had this thing where it's like, we're both heartbreakers. And we had that thing, and it was like. It was almost like an alley oop to a dunks type of situation. And it was like, wow, well done, girl.
- [33:42]
Interviewer
Yes. So you had respect. You had more respect for her after that?
- [33:46]
Dami Hope
Yeah, Like, I never. I never stopped liking her when she left. And even when she came back, it's a situation where it's like, obviously it's awkward to see, but I wasn't upset. I wasn't hurt about it. Even though people, you know, said, oh, I was. I was so angry. Whatever. I wasn't upset. Cause at the end of the day, I'm a fair person, and I'm like, person that's like, you know, maybe they actually get on. And at the end of the day, it doesn't mean our story's over. It just means, like, we've got to expand and build onto if we're supposed to, you know, be together.
- [34:13]
Interviewer
Right. That's a great window to emotionally how you were feeling. Because at night, I'm sure there's lots of ideas coming in your mind because you said the producers were saying you were doing too much. You see India with someone else, Right. You now want to be with her. You're. You're coupled off with someone else.
- [34:31]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [34:32]
Interviewer
So. So walk us through what you were feeling at night.
- [34:36]
Dami Hope
I was feeling anxious. I was like. I was feeling like, did I just lose something that I actually really wanted? I was feeling like, how do I even, like, approach the situation? You know? I mean, I'm just thinking about what steps do I take to, like, kind of show her and reintroduce that, like, you know, this is actually what I want and it's you. And then I remember there would be sometimes, like, I'll try to go talk to her and the producers do what the producers do again, be like, no, not today. Give it. I'm like, why?
- [35:02]
Interviewer
What was something that you did that was a loophole or like a, you know, a sneaky way to try to get to her.
- [35:08]
Dami Hope
You'd be doing, like, you know, when the, like, you're not supposed to, like, talk after, like, you know, when you're going to bed. And obviously we didn't share bed and stuff, but I remember. I remember, like, I'll speak to her sometimes through the day, or, like, we'd, like, be passing and, like, try and do little touches and just try to be like, oh, do you know what I mean? Just remember I'm still, you know, I still here kind of thing. And we have, like, little. Little conversations that would, like, kind of just like, amplify, like, oh, you know what I'm feeling and whatever she's feeling. And then I think there was a point where it's like, this one was, like, so viral, where I think I went to go sleep outside with Andrew, and then she must have followed me. And it was like a whole romantic thing of us just, you know, running to each other. And that's when I knew, yeah, no, it's game over. Gotcha.
- [35:47]
Interviewer
You knew it. You knew it was something real.
- [35:49]
Dami Hope
Yeah, it's mine now.
- [35:51]
Interviewer
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- [37:03]
Dami Hope
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- [37:27]
Interviewer
That's why you rack Focus features in Blumhouse Obsession.
- [37:33]
Dami Hope
When I have a crush on a guy no one knows.
- [37:36]
Interviewer
Be careful.
- [37:37]
Dami Hope
I wish Nikki love me more than anyone in the entire world.
- [37:40]
Interviewer
Who you wish for.
- [37:42]
Dami Hope
Obsession is 96% fresh on rotten Tomatoes. I love you so so so so much.
- [37:48]
Interviewer
It's blood soaked nightmare fuel.
- [37:51]
Dami Hope
Brooke's blood you put on her.
- [37:53]
Interviewer
You have been warned.
- [37:55]
Dami Hope
Obsession.
- [37:55]
Interviewer
Rated R under 17, animated without parent.
- [37:57]
Dami Hope
Only in theaters May 15 with special engagements in Dolby.
- [38:00]
Interviewer
When you think back at that experience, what were you most surprised? Did not make the edit.
- [38:07]
Dami Hope
I feel like you come out and you hear all this like you know whirlwind of news of like oh, I'm this person and I've been, I'm villainized now and it's like okay, you know, where do I even start from? Cause how do I even explain myself? Cause what you have is these edits that you've seen but yet that's not even me for real, you know, right?
- [38:26]
Interviewer
So you feel as if you Were painted as a villain.
- [38:30]
Dami Hope
Yeah. After, like, the whole, like, situation, I was painted as a villain that, you know, did something, and I'm angry that, you know, she did it back. You know, I mean, some, you know, like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, I wasn't. It wasn't something that upset me in the beginning because obviously that was the, like. Like the lore of Love Island. This happens. Like, I've watched it from previous seasons. I make up my own mind about people, but I don't hold them to that because at the end of the day, I know it's a TV show.
- [38:58]
Interviewer
Right.
- [38:58]
Dami Hope
You know what I mean? But then, parasocially, people are so invested, and they spin on stories themselves and they make stuff up. And that still happens to this day.
- [39:08]
Interviewer
Yes, yes. You know, even to get into parasocial relationships is because. I love how you're using the term, because I feel like that's exactly what makes these shows so popular is that it's not just a passive viewing. It's that the people who watch. A lot of the people who watch these shows form relationships. And typically what I see is that they see themselves in one or two of the contributors. So if they feel as if you have done a contributor wrong and they have aligned themselves or formed a bond with that contributor, they feel like you've now done them wrong and you definitely become the villain.
- [39:49]
Dami Hope
Yeah. No, you're right.
- [39:52]
Interviewer
You.
- [39:53]
Dami Hope
No, you're right. You said it all.
- [39:54]
Interviewer
Yeah. In the villa. Do you believe you fell in love with India there?
- [39:59]
Dami Hope
I feel. I feel like at first, like, I said I did, and I think I did, but then I feel like when I got outside is when I really, really fell in love, like, with her, you know? Cause, like, dad loved her, mom loved her, and it's like we're from two different cultures, but, you know, we made it work. And it's like a lot of things, like, you know, you just, like, gravitate towards each other and you think the same way, or we're building this thing together and it's just like. It was fun, you know?
- [40:26]
Interviewer
Yeah. And I think also the fact that you met on a show that, you know, historically, not a lot of couples come out of.
- [40:36]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [40:37]
Interviewer
But you then had to experience a lot of the same things.
- [40:40]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [40:40]
Interviewer
But even if we can talk about you all coming third, because that in itself was his story.
- [40:47]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [40:48]
Interviewer
That was major. So going into that final. When you knew that you all were a final couple. Right. How did that feel? Because what I'm picking up from you is, you really didn't care much about what was happening outside of the show because you had found someone who you were genuinely interested in.
- [41:08]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I feel like coming into the finals and knowing I was there from the beginning and I was the first guy there to reaching that. It's like, even though it's torrid, even though we were turd is like, it just further amplified the fact that I'm a born winner because, like, even through all the transgressions and all the nerdy dumpings and everything else is, like, I still fought my way to get to where we are here. And us coming turret was a historical. I remember the whole opera. Like, no black couple has ever gotten that far. And it was like. Like Dak Ekinsu and Davide. We always knew they were going to win. They had my vote, too, to be honest, bro. They were making some good TV for me while I was in there, bro. I was like, oh, my God. They had no way we're beating them. Like, they were funny. So it was like. So it didn't even bother me that, like. Oh, yeah. It was forced or whatever. It was just, like, the fact that we were actually there with all our friends and, like, we've all done this journey together, and it was just like a moment of, like, wow. Because you came out with, like, aside from, like, a girlfriend. Came out with, like, rude, like, life, like, long friends.
- [42:11]
Interviewer
Yes.
- [42:11]
Dami Hope
You know, so it was like. It was. It was an experience. It's like, you know me, I love friendship, so it's a thing for me. It's like, I've done a new experience now, and now I even have more friends. I have new friends. So it's like, just a win. Just a win, bro.
- [42:22]
Interviewer
It was just a win. But it was close between second and third. Very close.
- [42:26]
Dami Hope
Yeah. Close enough. Close enough. If only Ireland could vote. If only Ireland could vote, man. I didn't realize Ireland can't vote. And they all watch it as well, so it's like a whole big thing where it's like, just let the Irish vote, too. You know what I mean? Because, like, I think the app doesn't work because it's on the uk. The uk. Apple software, whatever. So it doesn't work in Ireland, so they can't even, like, vote. Yeah, that's just definitely. That's what I'm saying. You could have won, bro. They were behind me, man. Oh, my.
- [42:56]
Interviewer
I didn't realize that. That's wild. Okay, okay. We need to change that, bro.
- [43:01]
Dami Hope
You need to do something about that.
- [43:02]
Interviewer
All right. Done. Done.
- [43:03]
Dami Hope
Let's use our platforms and change that.
- [43:05]
Interviewer
Let's change that right now. Right now. So. But still, third is not bad.
- [43:09]
Dami Hope
It's not bad. No.
- [43:11]
Interviewer
When you get out of the villa, when do you first. When do you. In India, when do you feel like you two become an official couple?
- [43:24]
Dami Hope
I feel like probably. Probably when. Probably when we moved into our house because we used to stay my grandma's and then sometimes we stay in her mom's. And then when we first got our first, like, apartment, that's when it felt like, oh, because I've never. I've never actually. No, I've never really lived with, like, a girlfriend. Like, and actually we're paying rent together for a spot. You know what I mean? And we're, like, building on this spot and, you know, decorating and buying TVs, you know what I mean? Moving in. So I feel like that's when it's, like, you know, really grounded, that. Oh, yeah, we're really, really official.
- [43:57]
Interviewer
Yes, yes. I would imagine that there was a lot of pressure immediately to then sustain that because so many couples break up so quickly. Did you feel any of that?
- [44:07]
Dami Hope
You know what? There was a lot of pressure in the sense of, like, I would be making TikToks. And, you know, you're trying to build your platform. You're trying to, like, I'm just having fun with it because this is my first time coming into this, like, trajectory of, you know, fame and everyone knows who you are. And it's like, I'd want to collab with people or friends, but, you know, parasocially, they'll be looking like, why is he with everybody else but India? Do you know what I mean? Mind you, we speak all the time. We're together all the time. And she's doing meetings. She's, you know, she's about to start building this career of hers, and she's doing all these things, but I'm outgoing. I'm meeting up with, you know, friends that we have in there. I'm making, you know, content and TikToks. But everybody has something to say. And it's like, to continue this whole villain narrative, oh, he doesn't even care about her. Or he's embarrassing her, or she's a stronger woman than, you know, than me. And it's like, when do I get to actually live, guys? Cause it's like, relationship wise, we're good. But then I feel like all these. Seeing all these things, I feel like there was a point maybe start getting to her, you know, start affecting all what she's thinking, and in her head, she's actually starting to think, oh, is there something that she's missing here as well? You know, all these little collabs that you're doing, These, like, Paige is one of our friends that I would do, and she was starting, okay, maybe there's something she's missing. Or I'd go to Ireland, and there'll be, like, an Irish, you know, influencer as well. We're all at the same network, and, you know, it's just, like, people seeing, you know, worlds collide, but it didn't break us. There's just things, obviously, we'd speak about. And then, you know, there'll be boundaries put in place. Or you'd be like, you know, take a step back from doing this, or, you know, stop doing stuff for, you know, just girls, just so the noise would just stop.
- [45:40]
Interviewer
I see.
- [45:41]
Dami Hope
You know what I mean?
- [45:41]
Interviewer
I see it. Can I even ask, too? Is when you came out, right? Because you said something really interesting to me at the beginning of going into Love island is that you were just doing it as a joke.
- [45:52]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [45:52]
Interviewer
Right. So it wasn't a brand build for you, right? Do you think India, was she doing it as a brand build? And I'm not trying to disparage her in that, but I guess where I'm going is that because a lot of. I've talked to a lot of influencers and those who use television platforms, what they'll do is that they'll set up their Everything, their socials. They'll get agents. They'll set it up so that when they come out of the television project, they can immediately start using that, leveraging that. And I'm wondering, was that her desire? Because then, if so. Cause I feel like when she got out, she really catapulted her popularity, shot up quickly.
- [46:39]
Dami Hope
I feel like hers was kind of like she came in. I don't know the reason. I can't speak for her, but I do feel like when she came out, though, it was a fresh start for her, too. There was nothing put in place and everything. Like, she was hotcake. Everybody wanted, you know, the girl that said made the best heartbreaker win, you know, so it was like, hotcake, she was pretty, and, like, people just wanted her in it. It's like she was, like, the star it girl. So I feel like everything just, like, happened for her, like, you know, just, like, naturally, you know?
- [47:06]
Interviewer
Okay, so. So, so. So her career is taking off. Do you feel that her career is moving faster than yours?
- [47:16]
Dami Hope
Mm, not necessarily. Actually, I feel like in that space, I actually wasn't even thinking about what was happening because I was having meetings with management and, you know, talking about different things and I was getting deals. I was seeing like, money that I didn't see a. You know, like, I could never see one incident. At first. I'm like, I'm doing. I'm doing good. So I wasn't really like focused on obviously I'm seeing like the big, like, you know, plt or whatever looking for her. And that's a big con. Yes. And like, but on my side, it's like, boohoo are looking for me too, and they're trying to pay. But I'm saying no because obviously I have. I didn't want to do fast fashion. I wanted to because I don't wear that stuff anyway. And it's like, if I am going to brand build and stuff, that's not the way I can go. And it's easier. It's not as easy for guys to navigate outside of that when they do it. So, like, girls can do plt and do whatever and still manage to do this. But if I did that, it's like I become boxed in. Now I'm just another one of the guys. And they were paying big. Like, they were paying more money than I probably have seen once for like, what, a year contract. And I'll keep saying no and then they'll keep like asking me no, Come on, are you sure? We'll open, we'll up it. But I was still standing my ground that, nah, this is. It's not for me.
- [48:25]
Interviewer
Can you share how much were they offering?
- [48:27]
Dami Hope
I think they were offering like a first was like maybe near like 200k. And it was just like.
- [48:32]
Interviewer
For one year?
- [48:33]
Dami Hope
Yeah, for one year. And it was like. Then they come back and they say, oh, we can even get you to do your own ex collab. And just. It would just be you. And we'll add, we'll even add more and I'll still just say no. It's just, just not. It's not, it's not, it's not for me. And I don't want to be boxed in and I don't want to have like a hard time trying to like, I do this because of the money and then suddenly now when I'm trying to like navigate these brands that I actually do want to work with, don't want to work with me, I feel like all the things I did at that early on really worked out for me because I would get bigger jobs later down the line. Do you know what I mean? And they will all add up to even way more than that.
- [49:04]
Interviewer
Right?
- [49:04]
Dami Hope
So you know what I'm saying? So it's like, yeah, you offered me 200k, but by the end of the year finish, I made way more than that. And I feel like the first year I probably made like maybe like 5, 550, 600. So it's like.
- [49:18]
Interviewer
Wait, hold on. Damn it.
- [49:19]
Dami Hope
Yeah, so it's like, oh, it's good. That's a lot of money though. And you know it, bro. Hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- [49:28]
Interviewer
Cheers on that, man. Cheers on that, man. Congratulations for that.
- [49:32]
Dami Hope
Thank you.
- [49:32]
Interviewer
Yeah, I like that. I really do. Because I'm assuming that was a lot more than you were being paid as a microbiologist.
- [49:42]
Dami Hope
Oh, yeah, bro, Bro. My dad was so happy now, bro, it was shopping time, you know? It was shopping time. Nah, it was shopping time. Like the first, I remember the first time I got like my paycheck. I think my best friend wanted to buy a car. I sent him at least half of the money for the car that he wanted. Bro, just send him money left, right? Who wants? Who wants? Cause like these are the people that I've come up with and now I'm here in this space.
- [50:08]
Interviewer
Is this your best friend?
- [50:10]
Dami Hope
Yeah, best friend. Wally.
- [50:11]
Interviewer
Wally, who you were at the house with, you decided.
- [50:13]
Dami Hope
I was like, it was, it was like one of my girls birthdays. I was like, let's go Dior man. What do you want? Cause it's like now you guys, when I was like, when we were like you guys, you guys grew with me. So it's like I have like anything you ever need from me, I got you. So. And then obviously my family as well, just had to take care of them first.
- [50:28]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [50:28]
Dami Hope
So it's always just being that way and then blowing a lot of cash on presents and birthday gifts and stuff like this and which, which, which I love.
- [50:36]
Interviewer
Can we get into you in India? As much as you want to go? I would love to know what did you first or what did you love about her?
- [50:55]
Dami Hope
I feel like I loved her like feistiness. She was her own character. And she was able to speak. She just spoke up for whatever it is that she wanted to speak up for. And she wasn't shy about. Not if she didn't want to do something kind of thing. Do you know what I mean? And I like that, like she just stood on her own ground.
- [51:15]
Interviewer
Yes, yes, yes. Now with India as well, I've noticed. And if I could just pick up on this. Is that in our conversation so far, you've been very calm and cool.
- [51:33]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [51:34]
Interviewer
But every time we touch on India is where I see nervous.
- [51:39]
Dami Hope
It's not even nervous. It's just like. It's a situation. Obviously, you know, we're not together anymore. And it's like, yeah, it's just we're not together anymore. It's like, just. It's an uncomfortable situation because obviously I've never been in this, like, type of situation before, and now I have been. And it's just the whole, like, if you want to get into. Just to get into. It's like, you know, we were in a good place. Like, we were good. We were still together. And, you know, there's a lot of boundaries in place that mostly were set by her and obviously.
- [52:11]
Interviewer
Which were what. What were some of these boundaries?
- [52:12]
Dami Hope
Just, like, in terms of, like, me, female friendships, you know, like, anything around girls or just like, you know, coming back home late and just making sure you call in or, you know, just all these things that, like, just set by her. Like, things we would say we do together first. And if you're gonna do with someone else, you'd say it or you'd ask or whatever, but they'd all be by her. But then majority of them would be broken by her, you know. And then I feel like in this situation as well that has happened, it was kind of shocking, obviously.
- [52:43]
Interviewer
So you were together for four years?
- [52:44]
Dami Hope
Almost four years. Like, four years, yeah.
- [52:46]
Interviewer
Okay, so over the four years or over the three years and change that you and India were together, you had moved in together, right? So you're living together. Were you already talk. You were committed to each other?
- [52:58]
Dami Hope
Yeah, yeah. Committed to each other for so long. We did so many anniversaries, so many holidays, each other's. We did everything together, you know.
- [53:05]
Interviewer
Were you talking about marriage?
- [53:07]
Dami Hope
Yeah, we talked about marriage. It's a thing like, in our household, like, we all. We both know our cultural differences and the cultural, like, humor that we can kind of share beside each other. Obviously, she's Jamaican, I'm Nigerian. And you know what they say about Nigerians. 419. They all cheat. Like, we made these type of jokes. And I remember one time I went on radio show and I made the joke about, like, oh, like we can skip the rink, you know, I mean, because we can have babies. Because obviously, like, you know, blah, blah, which I get. Like, it's a sensitive joke outside of, like, you know, our household and things that we're comfortable with.
- [53:39]
Interviewer
Right.
- [53:39]
Dami Hope
You know, I apologize for that. But it's just like. It's just like dark humor. And, you know, a lot of the things that I do end up saying online to get me in trouble is from a place of, like, just humor and jokes, you know?
- [53:50]
Interviewer
But I see, though, that what could have happened is that you take all of those. It then underscores that villain.
- [54:00]
Dami Hope
Yeah. And it all just narrative. Yeah. It all just keeps on, like, you know, bringing this whole villain narrative. And I feel like that's what it's been pitted against me for, you know, this situation that's happened because there's a difference between, like, you know, the reality of how people are and then the image. Right. And I feel like my. The reality of me is I'm carefree. I share everything. I want to be open with the world. If you're a fan of me or you like me, I want to give you me. Do you know what I mean? There's no reason for me to, like, hide. But then I guess on the other side, on her side, because she. She would go out and she'd have as much fun as I'm having, but she might. She just won't post it. And maybe the ones that she's posting is like, she's just watching TV in the living room. So it's always like, she's always at home, but I'm always outside.
- [54:42]
Interviewer
Right. So you feel as if people were already accusing you. They not feel you saw it.
- [54:49]
Dami Hope
People, they've been accusing me of cheating. Cheating. I'm gay. They attack my masculinity just from how I dress, from, like, me being expressive with, like, you know, my fashion. I can get my nails done. I can put on makeup. Just, like, all these little things they'll use to, like, you know, paint this picture of me as a person that isn't even me. But at the end of the day, it's like, I don't care about being expressive. I want to be this way. I want to. I want to live my true. I want to be myself. Do you know what I mean? And I feel like all these things have been, you know, used now against me, especially in this situation. And it's a thing where it's like, it's unfair, but at the same time, it's like, this is. It's the aim of the game that I got into. Do you know what I mean? So I get it. But it's unfair.
- [55:36]
Interviewer
No, it's entirely unfair. And I want to unpack all of those because I think it's Important for us to get your opinion on each of those. But something that you also mentioned that we have to talk about is you talked about there's a cultural difference between you and India, right? So you are Nigerian heritage, India, Jamaican heritage. How did you. How did that cultural difference show up for good or bad in your relationship?
- [56:06]
Dami Hope
I feel like more or less. I feel like we come from different types of, like, households where mine is so traditional. It's full of, like, you know, you have to greet. It's very respectful and I guess, like, in her household, like, lovely people. But then I would. I would sense the difference in, like. I don't know how to say it, like, without. So I'm not trying to sound rude or anything like that, but there is a definite difference in how she speaks to her mom is not how I speak to my mom. Do you know what I mean? I'd have to put auntie in front of her mom's name. Do you know what I mean? Stuff like this, like different things, but she'd obviously do it as well because I would teach her the difference in the culture. Whereas I feel like mine's very traditional, but then hers is a bit more free.
- [56:47]
Interviewer
Right.
- [56:48]
Dami Hope
Do you get me?
- [56:48]
Interviewer
So I tell you what I mean. So being from, you know, being Jamaican.
- [56:52]
Dami Hope
Yeah, yeah.
- [56:53]
Interviewer
What I've noticed as. As a big difference. So it was interesting. Most of my best friends growing up were either Jamaican or Nigerian, right? And at the end of the day, we're all Jamaicans are basically from Nigeria.
- [57:05]
Dami Hope
Anyway. I tried to say. I tried to say that one time, bro. I tried to say that one time. They're like, no, I'm not.
- [57:11]
Interviewer
If you trace it back.
- [57:12]
Dami Hope
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. Ghana or Nigeria, man. I'm trying to say that it's pretty
- [57:17]
Interviewer
much we are all family. All family. And that's something that I think we also need to remember is that we are all family. And what society tries to do is divide not only us, but divide everybody, because that's how you disempower people. But one thing I noticed is distinctly is that I feel like most Nigerian households that I know of are very patrifocal, right. Most of the family revolves around the male patriarch, right? So the father figure making the primary decisions, et cetera. In every Jamaican household that I've been close to, including mine, it's matrifocal.
- [58:01]
Dami Hope
Yeah. That's what.
- [58:02]
Interviewer
And revolves around the mother.
- [58:04]
Dami Hope
The mother, yes.
- [58:05]
Interviewer
My grandma was like. She was.
- [58:08]
Dami Hope
I actually get that. I actually agree with you. Yeah.
- [58:10]
Interviewer
She was it. And so when I've seen Nigerian and Jamaican marriages, I've seen that that sometimes is a friction point. Right. Did that show up at all? Is that what you're getting to as well, or. Not necessarily.
- [58:29]
Dami Hope
I don't feel like it showed up, but I do feel like there's in some cases where it felt like, you know, I mean, maybe I felt like an outsider, you know, with her family. Yeah. With our family's, like, yeah, I fit in. I accept. But then I feel like there is a certain level of, you know, things they probably think of me because of, you know, the parasocials are putting online as well. And it just became like, maybe I'm not, you know, the same as you guys or something. And I felt like that sometimes, and it's. I feel like it kind of starts showing up, like, towards the end. You know what I mean? I feel like it started showing up there because I just didn't feel comfortable anymore.
- [59:01]
Interviewer
So you think it was more. So what was being said about you,
- [59:04]
Dami Hope
what was being said about me, and just how it felt like I was now being treated. And it's just a bit. It's just. Just different. And I guess maybe it's like, it's. Again, it's the. It's the jokes. It's the. It's the stuff that, you know, the Internet, you know, are putting against me. I think I remember I wore, like, an outfit to the mobiles or something, and I did my hair back, and I had, like, earrings. And then, you know, the Internet wanted to dissed me about whatever fashion is that I did. I thought I ate. I still think I ate. It doesn't even affect me. But, you know, things like that. If the Internet's saying something bad, then I feel like they'd start believing what the Internet's saying.
- [59:37]
Interviewer
And then her and her family.
- [59:39]
Dami Hope
Not her. I feel like she'd understand me because obviously. But maybe her family's just like, oh, maybe. Cause, you know, maybe I'm zesty or maybe I'm actually. You know what I mean? All these little things. And it's like, I could gauge this and I could see. And it's like, you know.
- [59:51]
Interviewer
Right. So do you feel like. And not to put words in because. But I don't know if you felt this way. You feel like maybe her family didn't feel as if you were masculine?
- [60:01]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I think so. Simple as that. Probably. I think. Yeah, maybe. Eventually, I think you probably came to a point where it was like that.
- [60:09]
Interviewer
So then. Dami, help me Understand what happened. Because just so everyone, if you're comfortable with me saying what happened.
- [60:20]
Dami Hope
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the whole world knows. Yeah, yeah. This is true.
- [60:23]
Interviewer
This is true. So for the five people who don't know, I want to give just a little bit of the detail. Is that so in July 2025, you and India had celebrated your three year anniversary.
- [60:40]
Dami Hope
Yeah. Yeah.
- [60:41]
Interviewer
Okay, so you're three years into your anniversary then. December 3, 2025, India was spotted kissing inside UK star Marlon Garcia. And this was at the series three wrap party for Inside, which is a Netflix reality competition show by the Sidemen. So this happens on December 3rd. When did you find out?
- [61:11]
Dami Hope
I probably found out probably on December 5th. And it was just because of. Just a chain of events of things just didn't make sense. And I'm too clued in not to figure stuff out, especially because I've been with you for so long. And I think eventually she obviously came forward and said this had been what happened. And for me, I had to process it. And I'm like, I'm processing it privately. No one knows this is happening. So it was a thing for me. It was just a situation of stories just wasn't adding up. And just to keep it short, it just wasn't adding up. And then eventually she came forward to tell me and then we just had to like, obviously I said, I can't be in this relationship, but at the same time, I know, you know, we have this public relationship. I think it became to a point where it's like, there's times where it was like she'd be on snap or something and she like, say something about her. She likes. Like her mental health right now is, you know, in a bad place. And I would be trying to process this, but in my way, I needed to get out of the space that we lived in. Cause we still had to live together. Oh, that's right.
- [62:18]
Interviewer
You're still living together.
- [62:19]
Dami Hope
Yeah, we still lived.
- [62:20]
Interviewer
All right. So. Damn. All right. All right, I'm. This is complicated.
- [62:24]
Dami Hope
Yeah, it's very complicated.
- [62:26]
Interviewer
But you said already before you were clued in, that things didn't feel right in what, in December?
- [62:32]
Dami Hope
No, no. Things didn't feel right in the sense of that night that she went out. And when she came back, it was like you have this thing of like, oh, if you go out, you just text and you say, oh, what you're doing. But you're gone now for the whole night, not said anything. And it's like, that doesn't make sense because you would I was with you in the morning, you know what I mean? We literally came back with you in the morning. So it's like we've helped you put your outfit on, we've helped done all this stuff. So then you've gone out and then come back. Your story don't make sense when I'm asking like where you be, like, ah,
- [63:02]
Interviewer
so you were at home.
- [63:03]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [63:04]
Interviewer
And then what time did she come back?
- [63:06]
Dami Hope
Probably like I don't even know cause I had to work that day, so I had to even leave the house. So I'm not actually sure what time she came back.
- [63:13]
Interviewer
But sometime in the morning.
- [63:15]
Dami Hope
Nah, probably like afternoonish or something. Yeah, afternoon, yeah. Yeah. I think she probably woke up at like 1pm or something and that was like where I got the text and. Or like, oh, she just like crashed out and she was blah blah blah.
- [63:31]
Interviewer
So she was gone. You wake up, you leave to go to work, she's still not back home. So at this point you feel all right, something's up.
- [63:41]
Dami Hope
It's not even like a straight way think, oh, something has happened. It's more of like, yeah, things happen. I mean you can go out, get drunk and you know what I mean, you just crash up. Do you know what I mean? I understand that. I understand how to have fun. So it's okay. I get that.
- [63:52]
Interviewer
All right, so can I play Devil's Avenue?
- [63:54]
Dami Hope
Yeah, play Devil's Avenue.
- [63:55]
Interviewer
Cause I think you might be giving yourself a little bit too much grace on this one. All right, so I mean, I've been married for 20 something years, right? But if I'm three to four years into a committed relationship where I live with someone, we have established boundaries.
- [64:12]
Dami Hope
Yes, yes.
- [64:13]
Interviewer
And my partner goes out and she doesn't come home. And the next morning, I mean, I'm not even waiting to the next morning,
- [64:24]
Dami Hope
I didn't wait till the next morning. Don't get me misconception. I was even up like saying everything good because I'm checking for your well being and seeing how you are, you know what I mean? So I've texted. It's not like I've just gone to sleep and forgot like, oh, my whole girlfriend exists. I'm still looking out for her well being, just trying to check where she's at, if she's good, do you know what I mean? But getting no response, getting none of this. So it's like, then the first Response is at 1pm the next day I'm like, you know, whatever. But just to like, you know, to move on from that is just like when everything happened. It's like, I remember it was her birthday, her birthday as well. And when she put up the whole mental health thing on snap, I remember people on snap because I'm trying to process this. People are hitting me up saying, how are you out when your girlfriend is at home? You know, process? And I'm like, bro, you don't even know what I'm going through here. I'm just. I'm keeping everything cool. There's no sense of hate for me, for her. Like, at the end of the day, like, you're someone I've been with for so long that, like, I'm still able to be in this capacity with you, but I do need to, like, have some level of self respect to like, for myself as well, to be like, you know what? This isn't what I want anymore. I can't. I can't, like, be here or do this. Because at the end of the day, it's just like, I'm like, I'm an honest person, right? And I always want just people to always be honest, you know, I mean, I feel like when trust has been broken like that, and in such a silly kind of way, you know, I mean, like, you know, you feel all these type of, like, emotions, but at the same time, it's like, you know, you gotta. You just gotta exhale for a second because it's like, how, you know, you're asking yourself, how could you, how could you do all these things? Blah, blah, blah.
- [65:57]
Interviewer
And what are the emotions that you like?
- [65:59]
Dami Hope
The emotions I felt, I felt angry. I felt like, why would you do that? Like, why would you disrespect me and us like that? Do you know what I mean? Like, for what? For like a short time that you had on a show, like, do you know what I mean? Because the show wasn't about love. It wasn't even any of that. So it's like. And you know, I mean, it's like, it's okay for you to go out and make friends, be friends with the opposite sex and stuff like that, but it's like, we have. There's boundaries in place. This isn't even a boundary cross. This is just like straight. You don't do this if you're in a relationship. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, I know now there's like, people as well. That's like around on the table when this is happening. So it's like there's people that know you and I are together and you've done this as well. Do you know what I mean? So it's like I'm processing a lot of stuff, but it's like I'm trying to keep us away from the embarrassment of it online and everything as well.
- [66:44]
Interviewer
Right. Because that's a whole.
- [66:45]
Dami Hope
It's a whole. It's a whole nother, like, thing that you got to deal with. And for the most part, like, I continue to play my part, like, you know, on her birthdays, like, I start to show up because the Internet doesn't know.
- [66:56]
Interviewer
But you two had broken up already.
- [66:57]
Dami Hope
Yeah. And people might say, oh, it's just the kiss and all that. But then I don't actually know what the fold the story is because, like, there's. There's certain elements that are part of the story that's like. It confuses me as to, like, how can this happen? Do you know what I mean? I don't want to go into. Because it's like, I don't want to actually spread too much info about it or whatever, but I feel like when I posted my New Year's dump, I feel like that was a thing for me, where it was like, I'm starting this year fresh now I need to choose myself.
- [67:30]
Interviewer
And just to clarify for the five people who don't know is that you did your New Year's dumpling of here's a reflection of my year, and you posted a full carousel. And in it, you don't include any photos, any imagery of India. And so people see that and then it goes to another level.
- [67:49]
Dami Hope
It goes into another level and they make up their, you know, their new stories and whatever it is. And that's how I feel like then everything happened. And I remember, you know, at this point, things are, like, moving fast now. And then now this sudden story. Apparently now we're finding out there's someone that was there and there's like a recording of it. I have to listen to everybody's phone ping at the same time. There's, like, all of my friends all on their phones, and we're all getting this video. It comes up TikTok the same time, and I have to look at everyone and myself watch this video, and then look at all my friends watch the same video. And everyone's in shock because there's one thing of, like, okay, yeah, you've heard it. But then seeing it is a bit like. And it doesn't. Then it feels even way more than, you know, how it was expressed to me. And it's like, then I'm dealing with
- [68:34]
Interviewer
all this Stuff and, you know, and just for the. Just to.
- [68:38]
Dami Hope
If I can. Yeah, go for it.
- [68:39]
Interviewer
So this is January 10th. The video surfaces online where you see India kissing someone else.
- [68:47]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [68:47]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [68:49]
Dami Hope
And I guess from that point it was just like, yeah, now this is so. It's embarrassing. And then it's. It's just. It's just disrespectful because, like, we've been like. I don't know. I just feel like it just wasn't worth whatever we had to do that. But at the same time, it's like I just had to remove myself from that situation. And like. But at the same time, it was still wasn't enough for the Internet, because the Internet still want to believe I had to have done something. First. It's. It's still on me. And then, you know, it's AI and it's not real. And it's like, what did Dami do? Dami's been cheating for a time, so she's just getting her lick back. Or Dami, what? Dami didn't cast some more? This why he's doing that? Or Dami's joke the other day? Why wouldn't she do it? Or how Dami dresses? Oh, that's why she's done it. And people are like, oh, my God, I'm so. Like, she should cheat on him again. Do you know what I mean? All these things I'm seeing online, it's like, you can hate him, you can say all these things, but, like, stand for women, protecting women. But it comes to a point where it's like, what have I actually done to you guys? I ain't done anything. And now it's like I've been dealing with it privately. I've not spoken about it. I never wanted to speak about it. It's calm. But now publicly, I have to deal with it and the whole embarrassment of it publicly and people, you know, making mockery of it and, you know, joking about the both of us, and we're having to go through this whole turmoil of, like, what was such a beautiful relationship. And, you know, to. Now this is how it ends. It's a bit like. It's a bit. It's a bit. It's a bit sad.
- [70:10]
Interviewer
Why didn't you say anything?
- [70:11]
Dami Hope
Because at the same time, I genuinely still have, like, a care for her. And it's like, I've loved her. I've been with her for so long. There's a level of care that I'll always have. And at the end of the day, it's like, I'm not trying to bash on her or try to. I don't want anything to happen to, like, who she is or whatever it is. Like, I want her to still be good. Do you know what I mean? So for me, it's like, I don't really need to say that. I don't have to explain myself to the Internet, but it's like. But for me, when I'm seeing people just always trying to twist things and you're now further trying to make me this villain or I must have done something, it's just like, you know what? It's kind of grind. It's kind of grinding on the teeth. Like, it's like if you don't know something and if I don't speak. If you don't speak about it, they have time to then form their own ideas as to why everything has happened. And it's just. It's just a lot of. Just a lot of noise.
- [70:59]
Interviewer
All right, so for everyone making the noise.
- [71:01]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [71:02]
Interviewer
They will be listening to you right now.
- [71:05]
Dami Hope
What.
- [71:05]
Interviewer
What do you want to tell them?
- [71:07]
Dami Hope
You know what? Good question. Shut the fuck up in the most polite way. You know what I mean? Let people live. Like, at the end of the day, situations happen. Like, I don't want any, like, trouble for my ex and everything as well. Like, there's none of that. It's like we're both people. Like, yeah, it's happened, but we moved on. We're pros. We're processing it. You know, we're civil at this point now. So it's like, I just want to be able to, like. Like, if you don't know something, don't make up something. So.
- [71:38]
Interviewer
Right, Fair. That's fair enough. Now, you just said that you. You and Indy are civil now.
- [71:42]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [71:43]
Interviewer
Like, so do you talk?
- [71:45]
Dami Hope
I don't say we talk all the time. Like, obviously you should still have happy birthday. You know, all this stuff. It's like we're giving ourselves that window of, like, you know, space to, like, just heal and process this and deal with it and just go, you know, ways. Okay, so. Okay.
- [71:59]
Interviewer
And what it sounds like is. And you actually said it, is that you wish her the best. You want the best for her.
- [72:05]
Dami Hope
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [72:07]
Interviewer
Now, a lot of. I think what's happening now is probably because Inside UK is on. Is on air right now. Do you watch it? This episode is brought to you by Prime Obsession is in session.
- [72:24]
Dami Hope
And this summer, Prime Originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites.
- [72:33]
Interviewer
You've already read twice off campus.
- [72:35]
Dami Hope
Elle every year after the Love Hypothesis.
- [72:39]
Interviewer
Sterling point and more.
- [72:41]
Dami Hope
Slow burns.
- [72:42]
Interviewer
Second chances chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting.
- [72:47]
Dami Hope
Watch only on Prime. No, no, I didn't watch it. It's just whatever comes up on TikToks. But I just. Because the whole time, bro, you can't even scroll it out. All these little edits and people tagging me and stuff. So those are the only things I would see. But don't really have any reason to watch this one. You know what I mean? I feel like there's no reason to really watch it. So it's cool.
- [73:07]
Interviewer
Yeah. I appreciate you just sharing that because it was interesting. I was talking to a friend of mine who said, oh, my God, I can't believe Dami is coming in. He's never said anything about the relationship. I can't wait to hear his opinion. And I think from his perspective, he said that the community really lifted the two of you up. And I think that you both gave a lot of inspiration and hope to a lot of people. And so when you two broke up, talk about parasocial relationships is that a lot of people felt that pain. And just hearing your perspective will be helpful for many.
- [73:51]
Dami Hope
I hope so.
- [73:52]
Interviewer
Yeah. Yeah, No, I think it will. I think it will. So now here's a question that will test how healed you are.
- [74:00]
Dami Hope
Okay, gonna hit me? I feel like I know what you're gonna say.
- [74:04]
Interviewer
You know what I'm gonna say?
- [74:05]
Dami Hope
You know what I'm saying?
- [74:06]
Interviewer
All right, let me say. Have you thought about dating again?
- [74:10]
Dami Hope
Yeah. Yeah. I'm not opposed to dating. I mean, I have to get back on the horse and settle away and settle. You know, I don't spend too much in, like, dwelling in pain and stuff like this. I just have to put my best foot forward and keep going, man.
- [74:28]
Interviewer
Yes.
- [74:29]
Dami Hope
Life's not done yet, so, you know,
- [74:32]
Interviewer
you gotta go forward.
- [74:33]
Dami Hope
Yeah. Whoever's out there for me, be out there for me.
- [74:35]
Interviewer
Okay, so now talking about who's out there for you, can I show you something?
- [74:40]
Dami Hope
Oh, you got something for me?
- [74:42]
Interviewer
Can I show you something?
- [74:43]
Dami Hope
Wait, what? Can I show you this?
- [74:45]
Interviewer
All right, I want you to tell me. Okay, you ready?
- [74:48]
Dami Hope
Yeah. Yeah.
- [74:48]
Interviewer
Okay, you ready for this? All right, I want you to tell me. Who is this?
- [74:52]
Dami Hope
Oh, what you doing, bro? No, that's just my bestie, bro. That's your bestie? That's my bestie. Uchman, like my older sister.
- [74:59]
Interviewer
All right.
- [75:00]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I put on a date. Yeah, I was just joshing.
- [75:04]
Interviewer
See this is, see what you do. Let's do this.
- [75:06]
Dami Hope
Because people been, people been putting us together and banning us together for so, for so long and saying that we've been having a secret relationship and an affair. But really and truly, that's just being my bestie. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I have a whole lot of friends in the industry and it's like anytime I'm with women that are very beautiful, pretty, they want to pin it that, oh, no, they're definitely doing something. They have to be doing something. But now she's just like my older sister. Like, she's actually my bestie. Like, I think we went to the Brits and they were like, they made a whole thing with me and Dami with this, you know, influencer girl. Mind you, that's big Uche Natori, bro. She ain't no small somebody, right? So it's like, yeah, but yeah, that's just what you tried it though. You tried it. So you funny like that, huh?
- [75:48]
Interviewer
But you know what I do like is I had a proper stalk of your IG in particular. And what I can see is that you have a lot of relationships with men and women platonic. And I think that you're showcasing that, you know, you could be a man, have a relationship with a woman, and it be platonic friends.
- [76:11]
Dami Hope
Yeah, just friends.
- [76:11]
Interviewer
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That in itself, I think, is a myth that we, that we can't be friends with girls.
- [76:16]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I feel like people actually just think that and I feel like even in like forever, again, relationship, I'm not a person that wouldn't want my person to not have male friends and, you know, female friends. You know, I mean, I, I, I love when you can be friends with the opposite sex and then not have to be sexual or weird. You get what I'm saying? And I feel like I have a lot of that and I've been having a lot of that. But obviously, parasocially, they would love to assume that, you know, when you're in a relationship, you can't have those things. Do you know what I mean? And if I'm out by myself with, you know, my friend, it's like, that's weird. Why are you on a date with your friend by yourself when you have a girlfriend at home? But it's like, bro, it's okay to just chill with your friends by themselves alone. Do you know what I mean? But then sometimes I have to think in my head when I was in a relationship. It's like if I go out with my Friend. And I'll snap it, though. I'll put it on. So it's like, I'm not hiding anything. Do you know what I mean? Because there could be someone behind me or someone over there sneakily recording me and trying to make a whole situation. Oh, that means. Do you know what I mean? But I live my life so loud that I want you to actually know who I am, how I am, and just understand that, like, you know, I mean, free will, Free will, Free will.
- [77:27]
Interviewer
Hey there. We have conversations just like this one every week. So if you haven't already hit follow and the bell icon and I'll see you for the next one. If you think about that time, that period of the late 1990s, early 2000s in Ireland, what do you believe was the lowest moment for you?
- [77:47]
Dami Hope
I don't know how this period started, but, like, you know, men, boys, they always take the piss. And there was one day in class, I think one of the guys that, like, it was like, I was getting ganged up on. Like, you know, everybody was, like, dropping jokes on me, and they were making, like, small, like, passable racist remarks that, like, even the teacher was still writing on the board. And this all. You can hear all this stuff that's going on, but you're not turning around. You're not doing anything. And everyone's making all these, like, black jokes. You know what I mean? All these, like, your dad's disappeared. Even though my dad's still in my life. All these, like, compare me to chocolate bars and all these, you know, all these just, like, quick, quick, snickering insults. And every time I make a joke. Cause, you know, I'm the only black person here now, and it's a class full of maybe 14, 15 white boys. So it's silence. And we're in a sphe class which is all about social and all this stuff. And it's like, this is the type of class where you should actually be saying these things aren't actually allowed, but nothing's actually happening. And I must have said, like, I think then I must have hit this guy with a joke that, like, everybody just turned around and they were like, what? How could you say that? This, that. And the other. I was like, I have not said anything, like, as bad as whatever you guys have said, right? But I was apolog. I was apologetic for my joke. So I come out now and I think, this is where everything changed. This is the moment where everything changed now. Because it was like. It was a way where it's like, I come Out. Now everybody's angry with me and my joke. Even though everybody's being laughing, even the teacher now finally turned around. Do you know what I mean?
- [79:21]
Interviewer
Oh, to say that what you said was unacceptable.
- [79:24]
Dami Hope
Damn it, get out. And I said, what? So I'm outside now, taking a little breather. I may be settling to myself that, like, oh, maybe what I actually said was too far. Cool. I'm here now. Like, everybody's, like, angry, and they come out, they're saying they want to fight me. I didn't want to fight anyone. I said, like, it doesn't actually have to go to this. And I remember. I remember we're inside this, like, secondary PE room, and, like, no one's there. It's all, like, closed or boxed off. It's like, shower, shower room or whatever. And I remember I was like, everyone just formed around, and I was like, oh, like, you know, still trying to plead my way out of this because it's like, I actually don't want to fight. You know what I mean? But I said, I don't want to hit you either, though, because if it's a thing where it's like, okay, I deserve these hits because of what I said, I'll take it. And then Guy kept hitting me, kept punching me, but I was still standing. And he was getting more upset because I wasn't punching back. And he was saying, I need to fight back, but I just kept letting it hit me. And I feel like it wasn't enough, though, because I've taken the hits now and everyone's gone home. But then the next day, because I didn't fight back, it now needs to turn into a whole fiasco of, like, we need to go again.
- [80:33]
Interviewer
Wow.
- [80:33]
Dami Hope
And I'm like, brother, like, we've already, like, squashed this. Like, you know what I mean? This should be enough now for us to, like, you know, carry on, like, whatever way it is that we're going to carry on, just carry on. But at this point now, I've already said no. But if you're going to do it again, I'm going to punch you back. Because I've taken my hits, and at this point, I'm ready, like, I'm readying myself now because it's like, I can't let people think that I'm someone that you're going to keep, like, doing this to. I've given you the first one, so the next one, obviously, I've beaten them up. It's very quick, very fast. But then now they're angry with it because Now I've beaten them up. So then it becomes a whole. It becomes a whole thing of, like, different people from different points of the school. People that are even expelled, they're not even in the school. Like, everybody now wants a piece of me. Do you know what I mean? Everybody now wants a piece of this black guy that doesn't seem to fall down when you hit him. And I remember some guy went on Facebook at the time, and obviously on Facebook, everybody can see what everyone's saying. And he was like, oh, this chocolate bar is gonna get it tomorrow, or this kick out, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And I'm seeing over, like, what, 200 likes. And these are all from. It's from the school. And at this point, you're not. I'm not telling my parents about this. Like, there's no one I can really, like, go to. My. My siblings who are young. It's just me.
- [81:51]
Interviewer
And you didn't go to the teachers.
- [81:53]
Dami Hope
The thing is, no one can snitch. You're not. It's. It's a. It's like you can't. You just can't tell. You can't, like, snitch at this. You know what I mean? It just became a whole, like, uproar. Like, all the other schools now are hearing about this. Even my old school, all my other friends like that, that I don't. I'm not with anymore. They're all hearing about this, the girls school. It's like, I didn't come to this school to fight. Do you know what I mean? But it's like, it gets to a point. And I remember the last fight that I ever actually ever had to have was with this kid that was expelled. And I remember my. This vice president, the vice principal at the school, he brought me into his office because I feel like the older years, they met me outside and they've obviously been hearing about, you know, all these fights, and they felt sorry for me. He was like, dammy. Like, I'm hearing all this stuff that's happening. And honestly, this is what he said. He said, honestly, if you're gonna fight, just don't do it in your uniform. And I said. I said. But the only thing is, I knew he hated the guy that was expelled.
- [82:52]
Interviewer
You basically got the approval of the only kind of body of authority. Yes.
- [82:57]
Dami Hope
To say you could do it. Yes. And it's like, when obviously they told him, they probably thought he was gonna say, okay, you know, speak to me and maybe try and find a way for me to leave school quietly where I Don't actually have to be outside. Blah, blah, blah. I must have been walking out and it was. The school bell rang and we're all walking down and it's like it was a whole swarm of people. Like, even parents, like, school buses were not going to move. Like, everybody, like, stood still just to come and see what was happening. It was like over, I'd say, like 400, like 500 people just coming to.
- [83:27]
Interviewer
To watch you fight.
- [83:28]
Dami Hope
To watch. Yeah. Because the thing is, I was making so much news about everybody that I was beating up. And obviously now everybody now wanted to see this person that everyone keeps talking about, right? And it's become this whole spectacle of like, oh, why doesn't he. Like, why does it. Why is no one able to beat him up? Why is he this, this, that, the other. And obviously the guy. The guy that was exposed. He's really popular. Like, he's a bad boy. Like, he's really popular. Whatever. This, that, and the other. And I'm popular too at this point. So it's like, now everybody's here to come and see this, and they've obviously seen the racist stuff that he's put online to come and, like, you know, do all these things. And I remember walking, you know, past the school buses, like, through the lanes. And before I know it, I mean, I'm in the middle of this big circle that I, like, I didn't even. Like, I was just walking, and then suddenly I'm wrapped around everybody and someone's taken my bag. Now I've given my bag. I think I've seen my bag just being flicked somewhere. You know what I mean? Just put some wherever it is. And before I know it, not even a time for conversation. It's like bros just stepped towards me and he's like, oh, so you ready? Yeah. You ready? I don't know if you call me chocobo again or whatever. He's like, but, you know, are you ready? Yeah. And again I plead like, look, bro, we don't actually have to do this. Do you know what I mean? Because that's the one thing I always say to people. We actually don't have to fight. There has to be something else before we actually have to get physical, that maybe we can just leave it as. But if you hit me, we got it. We got it. I've made a vow to myself from now, if you hit me, then we actually gotta go. And I remember he's come up now and he's punching me. He's punching me, he's punching me. And the punches are severe. Like, in every other fight that I felt, I could feel these ones, like, so intensely, so painfully. I was thinking in my head, today's gonna be the day that maybe, you know, I actually fall. And I'm trying to find, like, all the pieces of clues of, like, what am I supposed to do? As I'm, like, trying to, like, weave and trying to punch back and try to whatever, but I'm still getting hit. And it's like. It's like nothing I'm doing in this instance is actually working, you know? And I remember. I remember, like, just had a flashback earlier in the day of my MMA friend talking about, bro, you have such long reach. Just, like, step back. And then, you know, and I just remember him saying it to me. And somehow, I don't know. I don't know if God entered my body or something happened. It was a way where it's like I stepped back, weave, and then fell down, lights out. And in that moment, it was like. It was a sense of, like, this was the last battle that I ever have to do. Like, nobody would touch me now. Do you know what I mean?
- [86:08]
Interviewer
Yes.
- [86:08]
Dami Hope
And from then, it's like I created this, like, safe, harmonic, like, space in this town for my siblings and everybody else, because now nobody would be racist to them. Nobody would touch them. And it's a thing where it's like. Like, I'm almost like a hero now.
- [86:26]
Interviewer
A hero, but. All right, this is an amazing story.
- [86:29]
Dami Hope
Sorry, I've been going off. I've been going off on a tangent. I'm so sorry.
- [86:33]
Interviewer
No, no, that's not a. That's not a tangent, because that was this seminal event in your childhood that not only reshaped how people viewed you, but how you viewed yourself, and then also how people related to your siblings. Yeah, right. So you could see how that moment changed you. My question, though, is how do you believe it changed you? So who were you? Who were ye before? Kind of like those series of fights. And then who did you become?
- [87:10]
Dami Hope
I was someone that was scared of being alone. Wanted to, like, you know, fit in and, you know, try to appease the people, you know, just to do that. But then through the series of fights, I stopped being scared of being alone. It's like me being myself was enough. And if nobody else vouched for me, if nobody else fought for me, I'd fight for myself. And, you know, that's just it. But again, it's okay.
- [87:35]
Interviewer
Yeah, but is it okay? Right? Because I see you saying, this is what people Keep saying, and it's okay, but after you hear something enough, it has to impact you. It has to affect you.
- [87:52]
Dami Hope
Mm. I feel like I've been hearing it for so long. It doesn't really, like, affect me anymore, though. I feel like there would have been a certain point where it's like you start looking inwards and start questioning yourself. You're like, oh, is what I'm doing not cool enough? Do I have to be cooler? Do I have to appear a bit more masculine now? Do I have to, like, you know, do certain things? But I feel like what really changed me and to make me not, like, care anymore. Don't even want to go into, you know, sensitivity of it is when my dad died, that's when I feel like everything anyone could say about me, everything anyone could do to me, it just didn't matter anymore. You know, it's like the pinnacle of my life. And all the stuff that, you know, I've done and my. My guidance counselor is now gone. So it's like the. The words of everybody else and stuff. It just doesn't really. It doesn't hurt anymore, you know, so
- [88:46]
Interviewer
it's like, can we. Can we talk about your father?
- [88:49]
Dami Hope
Yeah, we can talk about him. We can talk about him.
- [88:54]
Interviewer
You know, it gives me chills when you said that, because I could see how he was everything to you. Everything. And he recently passed away as a 20, 24.
- [89:09]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [89:10]
Interviewer
And can you recall the last conversation you had with him?
- [89:15]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I feel like it's kind of strange because, you know, like, you know dads and, you know, sons. Like, the last conversation I had was, like, the longest FaceTime we've ever had. And I think I had. I was modeling for something, and it was like taking my friend with me. You know, when you call your friend on FaceTime, you're driving your car and you're like. You're just talking about your day. And he's expressing himself as well, and he's giving out. He's giving out about my sisters and stuff like this. And I'm just speaking to him, and he's like. He doesn't even want to get off the phone. Like, we're actually, like, we're joshing it. And it's like, I feel like in a period where I grew up with my dad, it's like, it wasn't always so smooth, you know, my dad kind of like, there was a thing about, like, when I was younger, you know, when I'd be disciplined or whatever or he'd be angry. He'd always do this thing before. And I used to. I used to not like him. I used to not like him. And he'd always do this thing where I'd be like. Like he'd hit me or whatever. Cause I've been. I've done something, or maybe he's just angry or something that's not working out for him. And then he would come back home, and then he was like, hey, son. You know, I mean, not speaking about the situation that's happened. And I remember, like, I feel like for a long time in my life, it's like I learned how I learned to forgive people, even when they don't say sorry. And I feel like I kind of hold on to that even, like, that's. I feel like I'm just a forgiving person. I just. I don't care enough to, like, have hate or have, you know, make people, like. Or a villain in my head. And I have to, like, push them. Do you know what I mean? I feel like there's more to life than. You know what I mean? Like, my. I think my heart is very bright, you know. I mean, there's no way you can go in there and it's dark, you know, I mean, so I feel like. I feel like that carried on into probably, you know, certain aspects of, you know, my relationship and whatever it is. But, yeah, the last conversation, my dad just. It was that. And I remember the next. Like, I was at the mobiles, and I always think I was presenting for a while, and I was presenting at the mobiles at that time, 20, 24. And literally the next day, I. I presume, like, I think my dad, he must have had a stroke and he was in the hospital. Like, he checked himself to the hospital. And suddenly now we're with him in the hospital. And this thing that just seems like, oh, it's not serious, just keeps getting more and more serious. And it hurts me the most because the night when, like, he passed, like, it was my little sister's. It was my little sister's birthday because her birthday was on the 24th of February. February. And it felt like we had our birthday. We did it in the hospital, had like, you know, a cake or whatever. And literally before, like, my parents went back home, they were thinking, oh, we're gonna see him. They're gonna see him tomorrow. But I stayed back, I think, with my sister and something else. I can't remember which other sibling was with me, but I remember, like, I stayed back. And then when it's. When it stuck, the clock struck, like, maybe 11:45. Yeah. All those rooms start beeping and everything start beeping. But I remember I went to him before that, and I was just speaking to him, and obviously he's not able to, like, respond to me now. He's just like. He's just like. He's in a. He's in a bad place that I've never. I've never seen my dad like this before. And it's. It's kind of, like, horrifying because, like, this person that was, like, literally speaking to the other day, and we were, like, joshing up, and I didn't know that was going to be the last conversation that we'd be. We'd be able to have where he'd speak to me, and we had that. But then it's like, here I'm trying to speak to him, trying to pray. I'm trying to pray life back into him. I'm trying to, like, plead with God and just. Just say plead, you know, I mean, just.
- [92:43]
Interviewer
Man, I tell you what,
- [92:48]
Dami Hope
you know, when you just plead.
- [92:51]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [92:53]
Dami Hope
I've never had my heart broken before. I've never had my heart broken before. But when. When life went out of him, my heart shattered and everything. This is,
- [93:12]
Interviewer
You know, I. You know, that's my greatest fear. That's my greatest fear. And you've gone through it. And that's why I have so much respect for everybody who's been able to walk that path, and especially you as the older brother, because you have, I would imagine. Did you feel like you had. Now you have a sense of responsibility?
- [93:50]
Dami Hope
I mean, I'm the man of the house now.
- [93:51]
Interviewer
It's like, just like that.
- [93:53]
Dami Hope
Just like that. It's like whatever passage he had just went into me. Now it's like I have to do all these things and it's like. But I didn't want you to finish doing all these things. I still wanted to have someone to look up to. I still want to have someone I can take care of and give back to, you know? I mean, like, I didn't feel like I was complete with all that. Like, I still had more to give you. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, now you're gone. And I just remember my mom, everybody, they came rushing back, and it was like I was still the last person to have the last moment with him as well. And this has happened and everything is just like, from then. I feel like, the sense of responsibility to share, like the way I used to be, where I used to, like, shop so much. I used to, like, buy gifts. I used to. Everything just started, like, it clicked in my mind that, like, I have to lock in now. This is like. Like, I gotta make sure my mom, my siblings are good. Like, all of them uni, they're working. Like, everyone has that, but it's like, dad's gone now, you know? And it was so, like, rapid that there was no real, like, time. Because at least some people get time. Like, you get told, oh, you got six months, you got one year, so you can plan stuff. There was no planning. It's just abrupt, and it's just gone. You know what I mean? And this is the sea. And then it's like I had to take the reins. And literally, I feel like for the first. Like, for so long, I didn't want to go red carpets. I didn't want to, Like, I didn't want to do anything. It's like, yeah, that's why I feel like when I said it doesn't affect me anymore, it's like, I see. It's like, yeah, okay, what now? Do you know what I mean? The hardest thing that could have happened to me in life has happened that, like, you think you have so much time with your parents, and then suddenly one of them goes, because I've met friends and I've had people like, you know, they lose someone that's important to them, and it's like, damn, I would never want that to be me. And then it's you, and you have no control over it. Like, it's a whole bubble of, like, I'm still grieving. Like, I don't even know when I'll stop grieving. Like, you know, like, I'm talking about my dad today. I don't want to cry about that. You feel like the pain that I feel, like I've already processed is still there. Like, I feel like, oh, maybe I'm done, but suddenly now I'm here with you and I'm crying about it. It's like, it's a hard one. But at the end of the day, it's like everything I try to do now is just to, like, I try to just keep doing things to make him proud or, you know, keep doing things to, like, you know, amplify his life through me and all the things that he's done for us to be here, I'm just going to have to keep doing it so, like, it reaches the heavens that, like, yo, your son's doing pretty good now. You know what I mean?
- [96:23]
Interviewer
Yeah. Look at that.
- [96:23]
Dami Hope
Look at that. So.
- [96:25]
Interviewer
Well, you know, What? From everything that I know, and I did a whole lot of research before you got here, is I believe he was. Continues to be incredibly proud of you. You know, incredibly proud of the man that you've become and how you show up for others. I think that's so important. And I love this through line of loyalty and confidence. You have this very quiet confidence about you that you. That I think that you want to continue, you know, to exhibit. Can I give you another surprise?
- [97:01]
Dami Hope
Go on, hit me.
- [97:02]
Interviewer
You ready for this?
- [97:02]
Dami Hope
I'm scared now after this last one, so I don't even know if I want to see this one again.
- [97:07]
Interviewer
Are you willing to close your eyes on this one?
- [97:08]
Dami Hope
All right. Close my eyes. Just don't. Just don't kiss me, though, all right? All right.
- [97:12]
Interviewer
Thank you for the trust. All right, now open it up, bro.
- [97:18]
Dami Hope
I hope this is like 100k check.
- [97:21]
Interviewer
It's better.
- [97:22]
Dami Hope
It's better.
- [97:22]
Interviewer
It's Better than 100k check.
- [97:24]
Dami Hope
It's better than y' all hearing this.
- [97:25]
Interviewer
It's better than 100k check. I want you, if you are willing to read that letter out loud, please.
- [97:35]
Dami Hope
Okay. To my brother. From the day I met you, I knew you were different. You had this strength about you. But what stayed with me was your heart. The way you care for people, the way you show up even when you've got your own battles. When your dad passed, I watched everything change. The whole family was shattered. There was pain everywhere and much heartbreak. And in the middle of that, you didn't fall apart. You carried everyone. I'll never forget watching you stand there and read theology. I don't know how you did it. You spoke with strength, with love, like you were holding the whole family together with your words. And in that moment, I remember thinking, he's not just grieving, he's stepping up. You became the one everyone leaned on. But what really stayed with me is what people didn't see. You never let yourself break in front of everyone else. You held it in. You stayed strong for them. And I know you were going somewhere quiet to deal with that pain on your own. That's the part that gets me. Because that's not just strength. That's sacrifice. You didn't just lose your dad. You gave up your space to grieve properly so your family wouldn't fall apart. And somehow you still kept your promises. You still became the man he raised you to be. I've always respected you. But after that, I look at you differently. You're not just strong, you're the reason People around you don't break. I love you, bro, and I'm proud of you in a way I'll probably never be able to fully explain. You're a brother. Your friend. Real.
- [99:04]
Interviewer
You know who wrote that?
- [99:06]
Dami Hope
Is it my brother? My little brother, who? My best. Who what? My best friend.
- [99:12]
Interviewer
This is interesting. You know what I love is that there's so many people in your life
- [99:16]
Dami Hope
who could have written that one. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. My best friend, Wally.
- [99:21]
Interviewer
There you go. Who's that right there?
- [99:23]
Dami Hope
That's Wally, man. That's my life partner, bro. But we just ain't gay, you know what I'm saying? That's my life partner right there. For real.
- [99:30]
Interviewer
You know how I know it is, is that you mentioned him many times in our conversation already.
- [99:35]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [99:37]
Interviewer
He's been with you at these inflection points in your life. And what's interesting to me, and I think this is a showcase of great friends, is that every time there was an inflection point, your relationship became even stronger.
- [99:52]
Dami Hope
Not real. Very real. Shout out Wally, though. Shout out my boy.
- [99:57]
Interviewer
Yeah. Yeah. I tell you what, I will hold on to that, but I'll give that to you.
- [100:01]
Dami Hope
Damn, Bruno got me crying again. On, bro. What are you doing?
- [100:07]
Interviewer
You know what I love is that I love to have a conversation where we touch on every emotion we've laughed. You almost have me in tears in here. And I think that's a reflection of healthy masculinity. And I'd love to get your perception on. How has that term masculinity changed for you over the years?
- [100:37]
Dami Hope
I feel like the term masculine for me is the freedom in owning your masculinity, even if it might be flamboyant sometimes or it might be a little sassy. It's like men have attitude, too. And it's like being able to, like, express that in a way that you're confident with and comfortable, you know? And I feel like over the years, it's touched me in ways, in how I dress, how I speak, you know, I'm part of the world, you know, all these. All these little things that, like, you know, people might deem as zesty, sassy, all these stuff. It's like I'm still a very masculine man. I get shit done, I pay the bills, I do the stuff that I need to do, but at the same time, my personality is going to shine. True. And even if my masculinity might seem shaky to you, it's not because it's still masculine. Like, every Every fiber, every part of me, however way you may deem it, is still very masculine. You know, I mean, it doesn't take away from, you know, it doesn't take away from my masculinity.
- [101:39]
Interviewer
Yeah. You know, so a lot of people ask me, how do I define masculinity? Because it's. I think for a lot of people, it's hard, especially nowadays. And to me, what masculinity is, is. It is strength that's not rigid, you know, responsibility that's still emotionally aware and emotionally connected to me. That's you.
- [102:03]
Dami Hope
That's me.
- [102:03]
Interviewer
Yeah, that's you. And I think when people say, yeah, this guy, damn me, hope he's not a masculine guy, I think that they are throwing back to a very toxic version of what masculinity used to be thought of. Right. You are the way forward. And I think that that's why, you know, I was so excited to talk to you, because I wanted to see it for real. Right.
- [102:32]
Dami Hope
I feel like you got a little bit of me. And you too, man. I feel like we kind of wanted the same.
- [102:36]
Interviewer
Oh, man. I'm a little upset because you outdressed me today.
- [102:40]
Dami Hope
Nah, you looking fly, too. But you got a little Rick talking about hers, bro. You see?
- [102:43]
Interviewer
I mean. I mean, but I see the whole situation, which means that we have to talk about fashion a little bit. Just a little bit.
- [102:50]
Dami Hope
Touching it.
- [102:52]
Interviewer
When did fashion become important to you?
- [102:55]
Dami Hope
I feel like when I touched university and, you know, it wasn't just like, fashion is just clothes. It was more so, like, how I would change my hair color, how I would, like, try and relax it, how I would try and, you know, get Jerry curls, and it became.
- [103:08]
Interviewer
Oh, you had a Jerry curl.
- [103:09]
Dami Hope
Yeah. I was running that stuff back in uni thinking that I was with the activator, bro. Activator. That shit was. It was. It was bouncing. It was bouncing, bro. And I remember, bro, like, back when I was at uni, I feel like there was just, like. There's a level of expression that was free. You know, I'd get. I'd get an eyebrow piercing. I'd, like, do things that just, like, just felt expressive. And I feel like then it just tapped into, like, from that into clothes. Like, I'd look at myself in the mirror, and you put, like, sportcore and, you know, smart, smart together and seeing how they, like, sit together. And you'd look, and you're like, it's kind of eight. And then it became a whole, like, thing of, like, experimenting. And I feel like with Science as well. There's a science to fashion too. So it's like you got to experiment with different things and you got to, like, try things. And at first, they might be the worst experiments, probably to you, you feel confident and you feel, like, good. And I feel like over the years, like, when I look back on some of the stuff I was wearing, I'm just like, bro, that ain't really it. But now it's like, you know, I just. I just kept going out and I kept wearing my own clothes and I started looking at everyone else and no one else was dressing like me. And then it started making me feel like, you know, I'm special, I'm unique. Because it's like you don't want, like, fashion is subjective, right? But it's like when you wear something, so it's like you're bringing your own identity into your clothes. So, like, when people see you, the first is like, oh, like, he looks. You could look. You could have no money in your account. And you dress good. You look like the richest person in the room. So it's like there is, like an identity to, like, who you're trying to become or who you want to be that when you're wearing your clothes that, like, I was always trying to, like, be a part, you know what I mean? Be a part of is making me stepping into this character and this person that I actually am.
- [104:47]
Interviewer
Yes.
- [104:47]
Dami Hope
Do you know what I mean?
- [104:48]
Interviewer
Can we touch on something? You just said something that I tell my boys all the time. Cause they're like. Cause I have a. I mean, dammit. You will appreciate this. I have a room, a full bedroom that I've converted into my. Into my wardrobe.
- [105:03]
Dami Hope
Damn, how big your house? Whoa. Okay, sir. Okay, sir.
- [105:07]
Interviewer
Come on now. Come on now. Come on.
- [105:09]
Dami Hope
Okay.
- [105:09]
Interviewer
You know, I've been on TV for a while, you know, but a full room, right? And then I've taken over the landing as well. Right, okay. And I go into my situation. I've got everything color coordinated, everything set up, everything nicely. And my boys are like, dad, like, what are you doing? And I said, I never want to go anywhere where someone looks like I look real. Right? And you just. So you just said the same thing. Why do we feel this way?
- [105:37]
Dami Hope
Because, bro, we're special. We're unique. You want to feel like. It's like everyone can dress the way they dress, like, but I just don't ever want to go somewhere and someone has the same identity as me, bro, it's like we're standing in our own power by the way we dress. You know what I mean?
- [105:52]
Interviewer
Yes, yes, yes. So you feel. Cause this is how I feel, too. It's an expression.
- [105:57]
Dami Hope
Yes.
- [105:58]
Interviewer
It's me boldly saying, this is who I am.
- [106:00]
Dami Hope
Yes.
- [106:01]
Interviewer
And I don't know if you feel this way, too, but I feel as if I'm also saying, take me for what you see. And if you don't like it,
- [106:10]
Dami Hope
that's literally it. Yeah, but people always like it, though. That's the thing. That's the thing, though. They always like it, though. They always do, though. There's always more. It's always more to like it than not.
- [106:22]
Interviewer
They're not. It's true.
- [106:23]
Dami Hope
It's so true. So, like, you know yourself, like, it's like, for me, it's like when I'm. When I'm wearing clothes, I don't go out thinking, oh, someone's gonna notice me and stuff, and all these things. But the people that do come up, they'd be like, oh, my God, bro, you dress so sick. You dress like this. And it's, like, being happening from even before, you know, I went on the show. So it's like. And then now it's just amplified. Yeah, right.
- [106:43]
Interviewer
I mean, so this is you. This is truly, authentically you. So is this how you started to get into fashion? Cause you have your own fashion line?
- [106:51]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I have my own fashion line.
- [106:52]
Interviewer
Okay, let's speak on it.
- [106:53]
Dami Hope
Yeah. Snow bunny. And I feel like, for me, even the name, since we just touched on it, since we're here and we're speaking about everything, I feel like, for me, I liked the name. Cause I thought it was sexy.
- [107:03]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [107:04]
Dami Hope
Yeah. And I know the name obviously has one meaning of, you know that, but that's the derogative term that people just made up.
- [107:11]
Interviewer
I think there's a couple meanings, though.
- [107:12]
Dami Hope
Yeah, there's a lot of meanings. And there's the actual meaning of, like, novice skier. Yes, that's the actual real meaning in the dictionary. It just means a novice skier. And I remember when I was making it, I had, like, this idea to put, like, a rabbit in a balaclava. And I was like, I, like. Like, this is my first, like, drawing or whatever. And I know there's controversy to it. Like, I get it. But I'm not someone that wants to be boxed in by things other people made up. Because at one point, someone has made it into this derogative term. Right. But that. That's not what it means. And there's so many other meanings for it. So why can't I Have it mean something that it means to me and not allow myself to be boxed up because of what everybody else thinks.
- [107:51]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [107:52]
Dami Hope
You know. Okay. And I feel like when I was making was another form of expression of just doing whatever I want and like the clothes that I'm making. It's like you have to introduce like, obviously because we're living in the UK and you have to do like an introduction thing to it. So I start with like, you know, tracksuits, we call them snowsuits, you know what I mean? So we play on all that stuff. And then I feel like this year is when I actually go into the real advancement of like what I've actually been trying to create. Because, you know, you create like from time. So it's like there's always building blocks to like show people what you're doing and stuff. And I feel like it was a no brainer for me not to like to have my own fashion brand. It was a no brainer. It was always going to happen.
- [108:29]
Interviewer
Like, do you believe that is? I mean, you know, I know you're multi hyphenate, so there's a lot that you do.
- [108:35]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [108:36]
Interviewer
But do you think that fashion is going to become more and more part of your day to day?
- [108:41]
Dami Hope
Yeah, I feel so, yeah. Okay. Alongside everything else that I do want to do still. Yeah.
- [108:46]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [108:47]
Dami Hope
I like being busy, I guess. You know, there's a beauty and there's a fun to it. Just like I like hustling, I like making my way, I like making things. You know, I like reaching milestones that I've set for myself. And like this year it's like I keep saying free will because I actually want to do all the things that I want to do and I don't want to hesitate on it. Do you know? I mean, if I want to make music tomorrow, I'm going to do it.
- [109:08]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [109:08]
Dami Hope
If I want to write a book, I'm going to do it. I've. I've written a book already, so it's like all these things that I want to do. I'm just going to do all the things that I was passionate about that we were talking about from earlier. It's now time to like hone in on that as well and use my free will to experience all these things where there's traveling, where there's all these things, trying all these new things. It's like I want to, I want to allow myself to do those things, you know?
- [109:31]
Interviewer
Yes.
- [109:31]
Dami Hope
So I can look back one day and I'm like, you really did use your free will, bro?
- [109:35]
Interviewer
Yes, your free will. I like it. You've used your free will.
- [109:37]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [109:38]
Interviewer
All right, so now, dammy. Is there anything that we have not yet talked about that you want to talk about?
- [109:45]
Dami Hope
I feel like one thing I haven't touched on is probably, you know, my accents. I feel like that, like, I feel like people get misconstrued and they feel like, you know, I'm putting on an American accent, okay? And obviously I'm Irish. You know, when I see other fellow Irish people, my accent just code switches into that, you know? But I feel like for me, when I speak clearly, like when I see, like, black people, Nigerian people, I go into the whole Nineja accent and, you know, they talk like this and remove. It's a whole lot of code switch. And in my. In. When. When we were growing up, like, obviously my mom was. She was hard of hearing. So like, sometimes it would be like a situation where like, I. Because obviously she's Yorba fluent, obviously she speaks English. But at the same time, it's like when you're speaking so fast and you have an Irish accent, it's like she's trying to catch. She's trying to read your lips and catch them, like, so I would have to, like, slow down my words and then it would sound like I'm American, but I'm not. I'm just trying to pronounce my words clearly. You know what I mean? Like, I can do the American accent and do all those things, cuz you know, I'll be doing that. You get what I'm saying? But it's just like when I speak clearly and people misconstrue that, oh, man, he's putting on an ax. Where's his Irish accent? I feel like people that don't know I'm from Ireland or whatever, they just firstly assume that, oh, he's trying to be American. But then there's tick artists where you could be like, you're right there, fella. You want to go down to the Pope? Do you? You know, I fuck me, but like, I'm not gonna come around. I'm not coming like, bro, it's like, I'm gonna come to the UK now. And I'm like, you're right there, fella. Yo, let's go to the Pope, man. You know what I mean? But like, you see when you're growing up with the guys and you're joshing and we all. They speak like that, it's natural. But after a while, it's just like when I break it down. I just this. I actually think this isn't my actual voice. Even though people want to tell me it isn't my voice, I do feel like it is.
- [111:30]
Interviewer
Right, so you almost don't know what your voice is.
- [111:32]
Dami Hope
I know I have many accents under my belt, but, you know, whoop de do.
- [111:37]
Interviewer
Oh, my gosh. You know what's so wild to me about that is I feel like when people hear that term code switch, it seems like it's this negative thing. Right. But from everything. I mean, one is if you are black. A matter of fact, I saw a study that showed that black professionals code switch 70 to 80% of the time. Right. But we're doing it as an adaptive strategy.
- [112:00]
Dami Hope
Yeah.
- [112:01]
Interviewer
You know what I mean? And so where white professionals code switch at a much lower percentage. But now that I've been in the UK for about eight years, I now can see how many people code switch into posh sounds.
- [112:19]
Dami Hope
Yes, yes.
- [112:19]
Interviewer
Especially in the professional environment.
- [112:20]
Dami Hope
Especially in the first. Yes, yes. I see it like, I can see right through you guys. You know what I mean?
- [112:26]
Interviewer
Yeah. I was like, I see what you're doing.
- [112:27]
Dami Hope
I see what you're doing. And they sound. They sound all sweet and nice. And then I try to do the post because I've not been here for so long, it doesn't sound the same, you know, and then. But I understand. I feel like there's an art form to code switches because sometimes it's actually helpful to be adaptive because if I go to Nigeria now and I'm in the market and then I'm trying to do my accident, it sounds like I'm from abroad, but I'm trying to haggle. You know what I mean? They're going to be trying to rip you, so I have to be like, hey, yeah, I'll find out. This one. Now, how much is this one, auntie? Now please give me four. You know what I mean? You got to get in with the program to get what you want. It is.
- [113:03]
Interviewer
It's adaptive.
- [113:03]
Dami Hope
It's adaptive. Yeah. Yeah. Fair, fair.
- [113:06]
Interviewer
Fair enough.
- [113:07]
Dami Hope
Fair enough.
- [113:07]
Interviewer
There you go. I'm glad we talked about that. Anything else?
- [113:11]
Dami Hope
I actually don't know. I actually don't know. I feel like I touched on a lot of things, to be honest. And your questions were amazing. Thank you for allowing me to actually be here and I guess open up, you know.
- [113:20]
Interviewer
You're welcome. Well, Demi, Hope, can I say you are incredible. My man.
- [113:26]
Dami Hope
Thank you. You too, bro.
- [113:28]
Interviewer
I'm so happy to have met you. I'm excited about what you're going to do in the future. And what I love most is that you have remained consistently someone of high character throughout the entirety of your life. And you are someone who not only your father is incredibly proud of, but I can see that you are your grandmother's greatest dream.
- [113:56]
Dami Hope
Not real shit. She. Tell me I'm the favorite. I'm the favorite. But.
- [114:01]
Interviewer
But see, but I. I know. I. I know. So. So continue on, Continue on. And thank you so much for joining me.
- [114:08]
Dami Hope
Thank you for having me. So we say follow back.
- [114:10]
Interviewer
You got.
- [114:10]
Dami Hope
Oh, yeah.
- [114:12]
Interviewer
Oh, definitely, definitely, definitely. I mean, Dami is a force. Loyalty, hands down, I would say, is a top trait that he embodies and that he holds to a high level of value. And so you can see why when someone breaks that loyalty with him, why he's ready to walk away because you think they've been in a relationship for almost four years. Many couples with therapy could work through that challenge, but he had no willingness to do it because of, I think, how much emphasis he places on loyalty. And that's his prerogative. It's hard to relinquish the memory of Dami crying over his father and how heartbreaking that moment was. And for me, that was the hardest part of this conversation because I've trained myself to try to hold space, but I was fighting against it. I was literally fight. I was going over to him. And that was a challenge that I had as an interviewer. It's funny, he said, I see a little of me in you. And I thought, I see a little of me in you. Yeah.
- [115:31]
Dami Hope
On Tower, I was branded as the Ice Queen. I remember my hands were shaking. The anxiety was overtaking my whole body. At that point, I'd go to sleep, right, thinking a whole room full of cameras were watching me. My mum, she's a complete stranger. It's almost like I just haven't got one and that's it. I can't imagine doing that to my child. Madison. Everything's perfect. Then I meet a guy. Absolutely took the stuffing out of me. And that's when I started to go partying.
- [116:01]
Interviewer
What's your best dating advice?
- [116:03]
Dami Hope
Don't.
- [116:04]
Interviewer
Oh, just don't date. No, I want to go to Towie.
- [116:08]
Dami Hope
It completely changed my life overnight like that. But I did start to question my career choices, like my worth in this industry.
- [116:17]
Interviewer
So what do you do next?
- [116:19]
Dami Hope
The press, they were terrible. They like to build you up, not too high, just where they think you should be. And then they like to tear you down or watch you fall. Down, but I feel like I've still even me and Maddie out, like we're good.
- [116:34]
Interviewer
So. Remember how I said what does the industry think of you? And you said ice cream. Well, can I show you something? I have lots of surprises for you, Chloe.
- [116:42]
Dami Hope
Oh, God.
- [116:43]
Interviewer
I think you're going to cross.