What No One Tells You About Becoming A Mother

Summary

Podcast Summary: "What No One Tells You About Becoming A Mother"

We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson
Date: April 30, 2026
Guests: Cher Lloyd (Pop Star), Georgia Kusulu (Reality Star), Mel Robbins (Podcaster & Author)

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Overview

This episode uncovers the often unspoken realities of motherhood—its challenges, emotional complexities, and how it reshapes identity and relationships. Host Paul C. Brunson creates an open space for pop star Cher Lloyd, reality TV personality Georgia Kusulu, and celebrated podcaster Mel Robbins, as they share honest stories of postnatal depression, self-doubt, resilience, and the pressures of balancing dreams with motherhood. The discussion centers on normalizing the ups and downs of parenting, offering encouragement, and highlighting why vulnerability and community matter so much.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Weight—And Joy—Of The Mental Load (01:02–02:08)

• Cher Lloyd candidly outlines her current struggles as a mother and performer:
  • “All I keep thinking is, how am I going to do this?...the mental load already for a mother is just…it’s through the roof…the being needed all of the time by two small children. But then at the same time, I still have to chase my dream.” (01:02)
  • She also emphasizes the importance of her children seeing her pursue her dreams: “My children need to see me fulfill my dreams…Two girls watching their mother succeed.” (01:29)
  • Host reaffirms: “The pursuit of your dream is succeeding in your dream. It’s not the destination, it’s the journey…those two little girls watching their mom on the journey, that’s the win.” (01:49–02:08)

2. Postnatal Depression—A Shattering, Isolating Reality (02:08–06:56)

• Cher Lloyd describes her severe postnatal depression with raw detail:
  • “After I had my youngest daughter, Eliza…what I first started experiencing was real loneliness…overwhelming fear that something was going to happen…shakes all the time…couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. It was the worst time of my life…when it was supposed to be the happiest.” (02:42–03:35)
  • “Postnatal depression shook me to my core. And…made me feel like I can’t imagine having more children…I can’t go through that again.” (03:50)
  • Cher opens up about the healing process: “I completely lost myself…my children were always safe…even though my mental health took the biggest blow ever…I needed time. I put too much pressure on myself after I had my baby…the pressure to bounce back, which I think is ridiculous. Women do not need to bounce back after pregnancy.” (04:29–05:40)
  • Her advice: “Give yourself a break. Take time for you. And…I wish someone could have told me…it’s really hard…but there is a light at the end of the tunnel…call your GP, tell them you need help, and they will help you. I did it. They helped me. And now I’m in such a better mental state.” (05:40–06:28)

3. Speaking (and Hearing) the Unspoken (06:28–07:09)

• Host & Cher Lloyd stress that feelings of isolation are common but help is available:
  • “We have to understand that we are never alone. And help is a call away.” (06:28)
  • “It is. It is a message away. It is expressing to your loved ones: I don’t feel okay. That is the beginning of you saving your life.” (06:45–06:52)

4. Georgia’s Story: The Hidden Darkness (07:25–16:35)

• Georgia Kusulu recalls the dramatic post-birth shift:

  • “I was like, what is this life? To be honest, I was like, whoa, this is a lot…I loved being pregnant…I thought…you’re gonna be pregnant forever…I didn’t think, I realized I’ve actually gotta have a baby.” (07:27–08:12)
  • First days home were overwhelming: “Whole house full of people, first grandchild on both sides. It was like, Jesus has been born…I was kind of wanted the people there because I was like, help me…what now? Don’t leave me…I was petrified.” (08:23–08:54)
  • The loneliness crept in: “I never forget feeling really, really lonely in a house full of people…take myself off to the bathroom and cry a lot…I did the night feeds and I would, like, cry and be like, this is scary.” (08:54–09:12)

• On Postnatal Symptoms

  • Georgia realizes her experience was postpartum depression: “I couldn’t bond. I didn’t know how to bond…everyone said…you’re gonna get this overwhelming feeling of love…when it didn’t happen, I thought…there’s something wrong with me.” (11:36–12:38)
  • “I knew I loved him, but…how comes I haven’t got this bond? …why have I not got this mother’s instinct…that everyone told me I was gonna get?” (12:35–12:44)

5. The Power Of Naming—and Sharing—the Pain (12:44–16:35)

• Hardest Days and Turning Point

  • “Day three and ten…only got better when Tommy (her partner) said it out loud in front of my mum, his mum, and the midwife…He said, ‘she’s not right, by the way’…everyone looked at me and I burst into tears…It all came out, I was like, I’m struggling, I don’t know what I’m doing.” (12:44–15:48)
  • “My whole experience changed…if he had not said that…would have only got worse…your thoughts go into place, you lose yourself. Just walking to the shop was a lot.” (15:49–16:06)

• On Normalizing The Conversation

  • Georgia reflects that social media made her feel alone: “There weren’t a lot of people in the public eye saying they struggled…I’d look and be like, why have they got their life together?...There was no one opening up…how they didn’t bond with their baby, no one was saying that…everyone felt ashamed.” (17:06–17:55)
  • She now recognizes: “It’s so important…how many other women are sitting there thinking that…But it’s so normal.” (17:55–18:07)

6. Embracing Authenticity On—and Off—Camera (18:17–20:13)

• Georgia shares that once her struggles were “outed,” things improved.
  • “Once I didn’t feel the pressure of the shame, that’s when it started to go away…I was like, instantly, like, wow, this is normal.” (18:23–18:29)
  • She filmed her reality show Baby Steps while in the thick of postpartum depression: “I showcased everything. I was literally filming the whole series…in my pyjamas. Everyone does it now, but back then, like, no one did that.” (19:17–19:33)
  • “I’m glad I didn’t hide it…first time in my life that I never hid how I felt…because I couldn’t hide it, because I didn’t know how to.” (20:01–20:13)

7. Mel Robbins: The Power of Real Example and Therapy (20:45–26:22)

• Message from Mel’s Daughter Sawyer (20:51–22:21)

  • Surprise audio message highlights the power of parental example, communication, and healthy relationships:
    • “You guys have done such an amazing job at really showing your love for each other, always kissing in the kitchen and telling each other how much you love each other…You guys always come back together…really growing from it…As me, Kendall and Oakley are in our 20s trying to seek out the love of our lives…it has made it very difficult because we are always comparing everyone else out there to the two of you.” – Sawyer (20:51–22:14)

• Mel Robbins on Motherhood, Therapy, and Mental Health

  • Mel opens up: “There were periods of our lives…where she would miss the bus and she’d have to wake me up in bed because I was so depressed I was not getting out of bed…There are mornings where they would come downstairs and both Chris and I were passed out in the living room because we had drunk too much and had been fighting.” (22:39–23:10)
  • On therapy: “Therapy gets a really bad rap. And I hate the word mental health…mental health is happiness…your resilience…how you talk to yourself. Don’t you want that?…We do talk to a marriage therapist. Not because anything’s wrong, but because I don’t want anything to be wrong.” (23:10–23:47)
  • On parenting through life stages: “There are periods where you’re not gonna like it…I didn’t particularly like having…toddlers…the only thing you can do is give yourself grace…You don’t have to be the best for every phase.” (24:29–25:08)
  • Her core message on pursuing dreams: “Every mom or dad wants their kids to pursue their dreams. Who the hell is going to show them how to do it? Your kids are watching…if you have something in your heart that you want to pursue, you are both robbing yourself and, more importantly, your kids of that opportunity.” (25:18–26:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Cher Lloyd on Postnatal Depression:
  “Postnatal depression shook me to my core. And…made me feel like I can’t imagine having more children…I can’t go through that again.” (03:50)

• Georgia Kusulu on Not Bonding Instantly:
  “Everyone said…you’re gonna get this overwhelming feeling of love…when it didn’t happen, I thought…there’s something wrong with me. I should have stuck with dogs.” (11:36–12:38)

• Georgia on the impact of being “outed” by her partner:
  “He said, ‘She’s not right, by the way.’…And all of a sudden, everyone looked at me and I burst into tears…From that day, my whole experience changed.” (15:08–15:48)

• Mel Robbins on Therapy:
  “Therapy gets a really bad rap. And I hate the word mental health…mental health is happiness…your resilience in life…your kids are watching.” (23:10–23:47; 25:18–26:15)

• Sawyer (Mel’s daughter):
  “I feel very, very, very grateful to have been shown that example growing up. So thank you so much. Love you all.” (21:57–22:14)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Motherhood & Career Balance: 01:02–02:08
• Cher Lloyd on Postnatal Depression: 02:42–06:56
• Georgia Kusulu’s Postpartum Experience: 07:27–16:35
• The Power of Speaking Up: 12:44–16:35
• Normalizing Struggle via Media: 18:17–20:13
• Sawyer’s Message & Parenting Impact: 20:51–22:21
• Mel Robbins on Therapy & Mental Health: 22:39–26:22
• Pursuing Your Dreams as a Parental Example: 25:18–26:15

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Final Takeaways

• Motherhood is messy, hard, and full of contradictions—but sharing and normalizing these realities is powerful and healing.
• Postnatal depression is common and treatable; speaking up is the first and crucial step.
• Vulnerability in public (including on TV) can help others feel less alone.
• Therapy is a tool for maintaining—not just fixing—relationships and mental well-being.
• Modeling the pursuit of your own dreams is as important for your children as caring for them.

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For more unfiltered stories, follow @needtotalk on Instagram and @weneedtotalkpod on TikTok.

Transcript

[Host]

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[Georgia Kusulu]

out of your car.

[Host]

Firestone Complete Auto Care book [e-mail] welcome to We're Talking. In this episode, we dive deep into the challenges and triumphs of motherhood with pop star Cher Lloyd, reality star Georgia Kusulu, and podcaster Mel Robbins. Together they share their personal journeys of balancing career dreams, self doubt, and the mental load that comes with being a mother. This week, we're talking motherhood. How do you think that having children now and you have this wonderful partner, how does that now impact the next phase of your career?

[Cher Lloyd]

I'm stressed out. All I keep thinking is, how am I going to do this? Like, honestly, if it's just me and you talking. Yeah, how am I going to do this? Because the mental load already for a mother is just. It's through the roof. The lists, the constant lists, the being needed all of the time by two small children. But then at the same time, I still have to chase my dream. I have to, because also my children need to see me fulfill my dreams. Yes, that's important. Two girls watching their mother succeeded.

[Host]

Yes. But I would argue that the pursuit of your dream is succeeding in your dream.

[Cher Lloyd]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host]

You know, it's not the destination, it's the journey.

[Cher Lloyd]

It is.

[Host]

And just those two little girls watching their mom on the journey, that's the win.

[Cher Lloyd]

That's the win. That truly is. And the fact that if you would have asked me this question a year ago when I had a newborn, I would have said, I can't do it. I can't do any of this anymore. I just need to be at home with my children. I was mentally not in a good place. And I don't think I would have ever had an ounce of confidence in myself to ever step back out on a stage.

[Host]

What was it about a year ago that puts you in that space?

[Cher Lloyd]

So after I had my youngest daughter, Eliza, I'd heard about postnatal depression before, but I didn't understand what it meant for someone to go through it. Okay, so what I first started experiencing was real loneliness. But also I doubted myself in everything that I was doing. And I had this overwhelming fear that something was going to happen to my baby. And it started affecting my mental health severely. I had the shakes all the time. I felt sick all the time. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. It Was the worst time of my life. When it was supposed to be the happiness I. I can't believe I made it through that time. It was awful. I even had situations where I'd be walking down the street with my baby in the pram, and I had visions of cars driving into her. They came out of nowhere. Postnatal depression shook me to my core. And to be honest, it's made me feel like I can't imagine having more children. I can't. I can't go through that again.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Awful.

[Host]

This is something that is not talked about enough.

[Georgia Kusulu]

No.

[Host]

How did you come out the other side?

[Cher Lloyd]

It took me a really long time. I felt like I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't know who I was anymore. To be honest. I really didn't. I completely lost myself. And that's why when you asked me what I was proud of.

[Host]

Yes.

[Cher Lloyd]

I say being a mother. Because even though that was the hardest time of my life, my children were always safe. I protected them and they always came first. Even though my mental health took the biggest blow ever. And I think the only way out of it was one time. I needed time. I put too much pressure on myself after I had had my baby. The pressure to bounce back, which I think is ridiculous. Women do not need to bounce back after pregnancy. That should not be a thing. And I hate that that's pushed onto women. What I feel new mothers need to

[Mel Robbins]

do

[Cher Lloyd]

is to give themselves a break. Take time for you. And I wish someone could have told me that it was going to be all right. And that being a mother is hard. It's really hard. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And whether that be picking up the phone and calling your gp. Call your gp, Tell them that you need help, and they will help you. I did it. They helped me. And now I'm in such a better mental state.

[Host]

Yeah. You know, what you just said is profound. Because we have to remember, especially in traumatic experiences, we feel like we're alone. Totally in it. We have to understand that we are never alone. And help is a call away.

[Cher Lloyd]

It is.

[Host]

It is a message away. It is expressing to your loved ones. I don't feel okay.

[Cher Lloyd]

Yeah.

[Host]

That is the beginning of you saving your life.

[Cher Lloyd]

It really is.

[Host]

Thank you for sharing that. Because postnatal depression does not get enough dialogue. But in particular, that so many women go through this.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yep.

[Host]

Right. And so therefore, you are not alone.

[Cher Lloyd]

Yeah.

[Host]

You know, Having Brody, you become a mom.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yeah.

[Host]

How does that change your life?

[Georgia Kusulu]

Completely changed my whole Life. I was like, what is this life? To be honest, I was like, whoa, this is a lot. I thought, this is hard. And it's like, threw me in. I don't think I've realized that when you're pregnant, you're like, oh, I'm pregnant. I love being pregnant. You get so much attention. Everyone's really nice to you. And I was filming towie when I was pregnant, and, you know, I got to go in later and, you know, it was just great. And, you know, everyone's like, oh, you look lovely. And I loved it. I had so much confidence as well. Being pregnant. I wore really tight dresses and I was like, love the bump. I couldn't believe it. I shocked myself. And then you think you're gonna be pregnant forever. I didn't think. I realized I've actually had gotta have a baby. And then Brody turned breech and I was like, oh, no, I've gotta have a C section. And then that was petrifying. But I just. I don't think I even knew what to expect. I'm gonna be honest.

[Host]

You leave the hospital?

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yeah.

[Host]

Come home?

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yep.

[Host]

Right.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Wild.

[Host]

What makes it wild?

[Georgia Kusulu]

Whole house full of people, first grandchild on both sides. It was like, jesus has been born.

[Host]

Yes.

[Georgia Kusulu]

And I was really happy because I love people. But I was like, whoa, this is a lot. But I was kind of wanted the people there because I was like, help me. What am I doing? And I was a bit like, what now? Don't leave me. I was like, mom, do not leave me. Where you going? She's like, I'm just going, no, no, no, no. I think she stayed there for two weeks. Do not leave me. I was like, do not leave me. I'm petrified. Do not leave me. She's like, you're fine. I'm like, no, no, no. Don't leave me. It was the weirdest thing. I. I definitely struggled. Definitely. Mentally. Now, looking back, I weren't right, really. I weren't right. I really, really struggled because I didn't know what to expect. And I never forget feeling really, really lonely in a house full of people. And I remember I used to take myself off to the bathroom and cry a lot. And I didn't realise that Tommy realized I kept crying and I would do the night feeds and I would, like, cry and be like, this is scary. This is a really scary place. And I didn't realize I was in this place. But it was a dark place, to be honest, because I was a bit like. I was a bit like, what is this life. What have I done? Really?

[Host]

So when you reflect back, do you feel like you were going through postpartum?

[Georgia Kusulu]

100%.

[Host]

Okay.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yeah.

[Host]

So, you know, as I was looking at postpartum, and here's what I didn't realize about it was how prevalent it is. So post. So technically, postnatal depression. Right. Is a type of depression that many parents experience after having a baby. Main symptoms include low mood, exhaustion, difficulty bonding with the baby, extreme anxiety or irritability. But here's what I didn't realize was how common. So it affects more than than 10% of women within a year of giving birth.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Wow.

[Host]

And it could also affect fathers mad, which I didn't realize.

[Georgia Kusulu]

No.

[Host]

So when you think about those behaviors for you or the symptoms, should I say, what were your symptoms?

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[Georgia Kusulu]

I couldn't bond. I didn't know how to bond. And the hardest bit about parenthood for me was everybody said to me, which they shouldn't have said to me, which I don't blame him if I do. When you have this baby, you're gonna get this overwhelming feeling of love and you're Gonna bond instantly. It's this instant mother's instinct and this connection. So when it didn't happen to me, I thought, oh, my God, I knew it. There's something wrong with me. There is something wrong with me. I should have stuck with dogs. I was so in my head, I was like, I know I love this thing, this human, but also kind of like an alien. Cause I don't actually know you. I remember thinking, I don't know you, but I love you. I know I love you. That was certain. I knew I loved him. But I thought, how do I. How comes I haven't got this bond? And I was thinking, maybe it's delayed. It's delayed. And then everyone said, you're going to know what to do. And I kept thinking, everyone said, there's this mother instinct that kicks in and you know what to do. But I didn't know what to do. And I thought, oh, my God, is that wrong with me again? What's wrong with me? And I was just. I was so in my own head that I kept thinking, why have I not got the. This mother's instinct that everyone told me I was gonna get?

[Host]

Yes. And when you reflect back, Georgia, what was the hardest day of that period for you?

[Georgia Kusulu]

Day three and ten.

[Host]

You remember it?

[Georgia Kusulu]

I remember it. Day three and ten. Yeah. I don't know why. Day three and ten. And it only got better when Tommy said it out loud in front of my mum, his mum and the midwife.

[Host]

Okay. So he had to say it.

[Georgia Kusulu]

He said it. He said, she's not right, by the way.

[Host]

So day three, for example, what was going on for you? Day three?

[Georgia Kusulu]

I was just everything. I was like. I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror. I was like, what is this person? I didn't look like me. I had this person on me. I was like this alien person. I was like, how am I going to keep this person alive? I would kept worrying, how am I going to keep him alive? And I was like, I know I've got to feed him a bottle. But I was like, how do I know? I was like, so everything I was picking up, how do I know? How am I going to do this? I was always thinking, is he okay? Is he okay? Is he okay? And then I thought, oh, my God, is this gonna last forever? This tiredness, like all. I couldn't see past the night feeds and the days, and they all blurred into one. And I had so much love around me. And everyone was so excited about this beautiful baby and this healthy baby. And I Thought, why am I not as excited as everyone else?

[Host]

And you didn't tell anyone?

[Georgia Kusulu]

No, not one person. I was ashamed because I thought, they're judging me. And I thought, this makes me a bad person. Because I thought, how am I not happy? How can I not be happy about a newborn baby? That's terrible. It wasn't obviously terrible, but I couldn't get out of my own head. Thought, this is terrible. And everyone was like, it's the best thing in the world. And I was like, no, I know it is. And he's unbelievable and I love him, but why am I not as happy as all of you? Like, this is weird.

[Host]

If you could go back and be with you on day three.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yeah.

[Host]

Or day 10.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yeah.

[Host]

What would you have done or told yourself?

[Georgia Kusulu]

I'd have hugged myself and said, this is so normal. This is so normal. This is. This is so normal. This is you, and you're fine. And this is just your emotions. You've got hormones raging through your body. This is totally normal. And you've had. You've been cut open multiple layers. You had a C section. You are fine. You're doing amazing. Like, you are fine. It's going to get better. It's going to get easier to give yourself a break. I'd have gave myself a cup of tea and gone. You're fine.

[Host]

Okay.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yeah.

[Host]

Is that what happened after Tommy saw what was going on with you and then told people out loud.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Oh, my God. Instant change. He. I never forget. It was in the kitchen. I was on the sofa. Had the baby in my arms, had the midwife. The midwife was. Her name was Pat. She was unbelievable. And I had her a lot. And I'd hurt my mom and Bev all the time they were there. And Tommy said to everybody. Cause they were like, how are you? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, good, thanks. Yeah, yeah. That's just the way I do. I'm good at it. Right. And he said, no, she's not. She is not. Right. And all of a sudden, everyone looked at me and I burst into tears. And everyone was so shocked. Cause I think they just thought I was, like, tired and stuff, you know? And I burst in tears and I was like, it will come out. I was like, I'm struggling. I don't know what I'm doing.

[Ad Voiceover 1]

And.

[Georgia Kusulu]

And from that day, my whole experience changed.

[Host]

What do you think would have happened if he had not said that?

[Georgia Kusulu]

I don't know. You know, scary to think about it, because it only would have got worse, you know, because them Night feeds go on. Three months, which was actually really quick for some babies, bro. But three months is a long time to feel lonely, you know, and your thoughts go into place, you lose yourself. I was just so. I didn't know what I was doing. Like, just walking to the shop was a lot. I think was a lot. I'm so thankful to him to this day that he did that. And at the time, I was fuming by the way I looked at him. And I remember thinking, how dare you? How dare you say out. Like I was fuming. But then when I cried, I was like, now I'm like, thank God. Thank God.

[Host]

Yeah. You were able to release. It's one of these. Where this is one is. Thank you for sharing. That is, I would imagine, you think that the more of these conversations that we have, we normalize this and we realize that because one is, we have a significant number of women that are impacted by this, a significant number of men impacted by this. And having that conversation just to be aware that, you know what? This is normal.

[Georgia Kusulu]

So normal.

[Host]

Yeah, this is normal.

[Georgia Kusulu]

And you know what? Looking back now, there weren't a lot of people in the public eye saying that. There weren't anyone that I could that admitted they struggled. And I really, really found that hard because I'd look on social media and it'd be like, these girls be having babies, and I'd be like, why have they got their life together? They're really like. And it made me feel really bad about myself, and it wasn't their fault, but, like, there was no one opening up. And I was like. So I used to think it was just me. No one was talking about body image and how it affected them, how they lost themselves, how they didn't look like themselves, how. How they didn't bond with their baby. No one was saying that because. And I get it. Because everyone felt ashamed. I wouldn't even. I weren't even saying it, really. So I couldn't expect other people to. So I think it's so important because how many other women are sitting there thinking that, you know.

[Host]

Yes.

[Georgia Kusulu]

You know, and it's like, if I would have had that person to go, oh, yeah, I'm not alone, you know? And I know that I definitely will help people, like, talking about it because it was a lonely time.

[Host]

Yes.

[Georgia Kusulu]

But it's so normal.

[Host]

And it's so normal. And look, you know, look, what's happened as a result. Is that you have now or as a result of Tommy, you know, outing you.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yeah.

[Host]

Is that you were able to emotionally get it out of you. But then you said things got better.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Oh, my God. Unbelievable.

[Host]

So did you feel like, literally it was once you didn't feel the pressure of the shame. That's when it started to go away.

[Georgia Kusulu]

I was like, instantly, like, wow, this is normal. Okay, cool. If I want to cry today, I'm going to cry. If I don't want to get out of my pyjamas, I'm not going to. It was all normal. And I was filming my show as well, so I was trying to juggle. Wait, hang on a minute. Because I was so. Our show is very, very raw. Like, it is so fly on the wall. It is so fly on the wall. And I remember filming the whole series in my pyjamas, basically. And I was like, I'm not changing, because.

[Host]

So this is not Tyler. This is the solo show. Baby Steps. Yeah. Multiple series of baby steps, by the way.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Six series.

[Host]

Yeah. Congrats on that.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Thank you.

[Host]

That's not bad.

[Georgia Kusulu]

That's good.

[Host]

That's not bad. Yeah. So you're filming the show while this is happening. You're probably hiding it from production. Hiding it, obviously from the audience. Do you ever showcase it?

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yeah, I showcased everything.

[Host]

Okay.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Because what happened was Tommy's out in me was. We just started properly filming. So everything was. I was literally filming the whole series. Looking back in my pajamas.

[Host]

Look at that.

[Georgia Kusulu]

I basically like, no one. Everyone does it now, but back then, like, no one did that. Like, no one was on camera like that. Like, I mean, I even got my belly out. I think I was in a path of a day's sleep deprived and just went with it, which was actually great now. But he was so raw. That footage of that series was so raw. I like, look, if you look at my eyes, I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. I couldn't even tell you the day of the week. It was, you know, like, I was in it.

[Host]

Yes.

[Georgia Kusulu]

But I'm glad, actually.

[Host]

Why?

[Georgia Kusulu]

Because I'm glad I didn't hide it. Cause it's the first time in my life that I never hid how I felt, actually.

[Host]

So you stopped deflecting.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Yeah. That's why the show was good, I

[Host]

think, because you were your true, true self. Authentic.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Because I couldn't hide it because I didn't know how to. That was the first time I didn't know how to. Because I. I was like, whoa, I'm well to in now. I'm like, in the deep end, like. And I don't like Swimming, like, I'm like, in the city around me and I was like, sea. It was, baby. I couldn't deflect. There was no hiding it. Do you know?

[Host]

Yes. Yes. I have a surprise for you.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Okay.

[Host]

I've been waiting.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Okay.

[Host]

To hand the surprise for you. I cannot wait.

[Mel Robbins]

What do you got?

[Host]

You ready for this?

[Mel Robbins]

Yeah.

[Sawyer (Mel Robbins' daughter)]

Hi, Mom.

[Georgia Kusulu]

Oh, hi, Sawyer.

[Sawyer (Mel Robbins' daughter)]

This is Sawyer here. I'm Mel's oldest daughter. I have so many things to say, but I think that you guys have done such an amazing job at really showing your love for each other, always kissing in the kitchen and telling each other how much you love each other. And I think that you guys also do a phenomenal job at communication. And communication doesn't always translate when you're pissed off or you're drunk or you're annoyed. But I think that you guys always come back together and have such good talks. And I think it's really cool to see you guys implementing what you guys are learning in therapy and really growing from it. I think, as me, Kendall and Oakley are in our 20s, trying to seek out the love of our lives, I will say that it has made it very difficult because we are always comparing everyone else out there to the two of you. I just feel very, very, very grateful to have been shown that example growing up. So thank you so much. Love you all. Have an amazing interview. Bye.

[Mel Robbins]

That's freaking fantastic.

[Host]

I loved this message. This was beautiful. In particular, what I loved is you can see the gratitude that she has. I mean, you think about how special that is for her to say, I just love being around you. Yeah, I love being around you.

[Mel Robbins]

Well, here's the other thing that's important to recognize, and I'm not proud to share this. There were periods of our lives that she remembers where she would miss the bus and she'd have to wake me up in bed because I was so depressed I was not getting out of bed. You know, you're failing at parenting when you're having to have your kids wake you up. There are mornings where they would come downstairs and both Chris and I were passed out in the living room because we had drunk too much and had been fighting. And so they have been there for the good and the bad. And she also mentioned that we talked to a marriage therapist, and I think therapy gets a really bad rap. And I hate the word mental health, because people immediately think something's wrong. Mental health is happiness. Mental health is managing stress. Mental health is having the clarity and the confidence to be able to communicate effectively. Mental health is Your resilience in life, mental health is the way you talk to yourself. Don't you want that? Of course you do. And so one of the things that have really helped us is we do talk to a marriage therapist. Not cause anything's wrong, but because I don't want anything to be wrong.

[Host]

Sure.

[Mel Robbins]

And there is a million ways for small things to build up. And it just creates this moment for us to go. He literally opens our session by going, so what do you guys want to talk about today? And I'm like, I don't know, what do you want to talk about? And then lo and behold, there's always something, right?

[Host]

There is. You know, when you talked about quiet quitting a little while ago, that's this ambivalence, in essence, in the marriage, 60, 70% of people who go to therapy, it's because of this ambivalence. It's not because there's a severe issue that they're fighting. So you're right. Just to go is helpful. Motherhood.

[Mel Robbins]

Yes.

[Host]

Cause motherhood right now, it looks good on you.

[Mel Robbins]

Well, I'm really good mom. For adult kids.

[Host]

For adult kids.

[Mel Robbins]

Well, I think it's important to give yourself some grace. Like there are periods where you're not gonna like it. I like other people's babies. I didn't particularly like having. Well, actually that's not true. I kind of liked having babies. I did not like toddlers. I did not like elementary school phase middle school. I started liking and feeling like I could connect with my kids more. High school, definitely interesting. College. Now we're talking adult. Now motherhood gets interesting. And so I think it's important to understand that you don't have to be the best for every phase. Giving yourself grace is really important. And the other thing that I think is very important, especially for the women watching and listening, is every mom or dad wants their kids to pursue their dreams. Who the hell is going to show them how to do it? Your kids are watching. And for women who hold themselves back and feel guilty because they travel or they have to work too much or this and that, I'm here to tell you that if you have something in your heart that you want to pursue, you are both robbing yourself and more importantly your kids of that opportunity. The example that I have given and that my husband has given, that you can work together, but the example that I have given as a woman, that you can go out and create something at any age, you can jump into something like podcasting and tech as a 50 year old woman and actually build something incredible. Or, heck, just build something that you're excited about that's yours. It shows your kids that it's possible. It shows your daughters how to do it. And it shows your sons how to support their partner in doing it.

[Host]

Yes. Yes. And if you want to hear the full unfiltered stories from today's guest, you can check them out on the we need to Talk page. Drop a like leave a comment and hit subscribe. See you next week.

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