This week, Meg sat down with Erich Henninger, a Seattle therapist who runs divorce support groups specifically for men.

Erich's view: underneath the arguments about finances and schedules lives a much deeper grief — what he calls "the loss of the dream." Not just the marriage, but the envisioned future. Retirement together. Walking a daughter down the aisle.

One of the most practical ideas Erich shared is the importance of making "bids" — small, no-pressure reach-outs to your kids, especially when they're pulling away. "Send a photo. Text a song you just listened to. Let them know: I'm here. When you're ready, we'll talk." It's the equivalent of knocking gently on the door when your teen storms off — and teens, no matter how annoyed they seem, want you to keep knocking.

Here's more of what we cover in this episode:

Why men get stuck on finances and legalities instead of what's actually hurting
"The loss of the dream" — grieving the future you thought you'd have
How group therapy is uniquely powerful for releasing shame
Erich's "rebuilding the playground" metaphor for reclaiming the emotions men were taught to hide
Why bids matter even when your kids don't respond
What usually keeps men from signing up — and what happens when they do

Books mentioned in this episode: Dr. Lisa Damour's The Emotional Lives of Teenagers and Untangled — both worth having on your shelf if you're parenting tweens or teens through a transition.

P.S. Erich runs two men's divorce support groups out of Seattle (Wednesday and Thursday evenings), with a midday online group launching soon. He offers a free consultation — no pressure, no commitment. Learn more at mindbrooktherapy.com.