Parenting, Pressure, and Youth Sports

Summary

Welcome to the Party – Parenting, Pressure, and Youth Sports

Podcast: Welcome to the Party
Host: Treat Media
Episode Date: October 23, 2025
Guests: Abby Wambach, Julie Foudy, Billie Jean King (regular contributor, not featured in this episode)
Theme: The intense realities and often hilarious moments of youth sports parenting, pressures around specialization, parents as coaches, and big questions sent in by listeners.

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Episode Overview

This episode is a lively, candid Q&A featuring soccer legends Abby Wambach and Julie Foudy, who draw on both their experiences as elite athletes and as parents actively navigating youth sports. The hosts dive into complexities around parents coaching their own kids, the mounting pressure to specialize early, and how to make important family decisions. They also tackle classic sports-confusion—like how to (finally!) explain offsides clearly to your family.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Should Parents Coach Their Own Kids?

[01:37–08:07]

• Abby weighs the pros and cons:
  • Coaching your young child in rec leagues is generally okay and can encourage love of teamwork and sport.
  • As kids get older, it’s crucial for them to have other role models and authority figures outside their parents.
  • Selection of coaches matters: "You got to make sure...this person is a good person and they have very similar values of the way that they teach their kids or your kid." (Abby, 02:45)
• Abby’s personal story:
  • She helped coach her daughter's high school team after the coach requested it.
  • She acknowledges her earlier advice (“don't go to practice”) but feels it's different if the coach asks you specifically.
  • "I realize I am now, in fact, hypocritical for what I have told the party people to do." (Abby, 05:03)
• Julie’s thoughts:
  • Supports parent coaching in early youth sports due to the volunteer nature of leagues.
  • The main goal should be FUN and equal playing for all; don’t obsess over technical knowledge.
  • "Our rule in the family was if we're not going to step up and volunteer...then we should support and applaud the ones who do." (Julie, 06:44)
  • Recognize when your child isn’t comfortable having you as a coach—if it’s “sucking the life out of the sport for them,” it’s time to step back.

2. How and When Should Kids Specialize in Sports?

[14:14–20:48]

• Listener Question: How to avoid early sport specialization when teams require huge time commitments?
• Abby:
  • Shares a stat from Linda Flanagan: Nearly all Olympians played multiple sports as kids.
  • Specialization is happening earlier, and the pressure to do so is intense.
  • Playing multiple sports (e.g., Abby credits basketball for her soccer "header" skills) is critical for skill development and mental breaks.
  • "I needed basketball to give me a break from soccer...mentality wise, it's hard to do the same thing over and over again for 11 straight months." (Abby, 19:17)
• Julie:
  • Balancing sports can be tricky (shares her daughter Izzy’s experience of not being able to play both volleyball and soccer in high school).
  • Parents need to be upfront with clubs about their kid missing practices due to other sports, and need to find coaches who genuinely support multi-sport athletes.
  • "You have to advocate for your kid when they're especially younger in a middle school and high school." (Julie, 18:55)
  • Physical and mental burnout are real problems; early specialization drives girls out of sports at surprisingly young ages.

3. Making Big (and Small) Life Decisions

[21:09–26:56]

• Listener Question: How do you make important decisions?
• Julie:
  • Consults with family and friends; happiness as a family is the guiding priority.
  • "Are we going to be happier as a family unit after that decision? ...Rarely about money, although obviously money is important." (Julie, 21:38)
• Abby:
  • Uses the "deathbed regret test" – Which choice would she regret not making at the end of her life?
  • Also considers "bedtime regret" (credit to Glennon Doyle)—are they making choices that also make TODAY meaningful, not just optimizing for the far future?
  • Material purchases are weighed not just in cost, but the “responsibility and stress” they bring to day-to-day life.

4. Any Do-Over Regrets?

[27:15–32:11]

• Listener Question: If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?
• Abby:
  • Wishes she’d "gotten sober sooner"—believes it would have prolonged her career and improved her life.
  • Still, she doesn’t fully regret the path: "There was some sort of form of like need that I was trying to soothe...it was all worth it in some weird cosmic way." (Abby, 31:23)
• Julie:
  • Echoes Abby; is a natural "pivoter" and reframes experiences as necessary for growth.
  • No specific do-overs: "I think of it as like you're going to be able to handle whatever life throws at you." (Julie, 30:57)

5. Explaining the Offside Rule—For Real

[33:59–40:32]

• Christina F.'s question: Please help me explain offside in soccer!
• Julie:
  • Clarifies: it’s "offside" (not "offsides") and provides the technical definition.
  • A player is offside if, when the ball is passed, any part of their body is closer to the opponent’s goal line than both the ball and the second-to-last defender.
  • "So you've got to have a goalkeeper and a defender between you and the goal line." (Julie, 34:55)
• Abby:
  • Steps in with makeshift visual aids: "I've got people. I'm holding people." (Abby, 36:20)
  • Breaks it down with props. If the attacker is past the last defender when the ball is played, they’re offside.
  • Suggests the group should create a whiteboard/visual guide for future listeners.
  • Both hosts admit even they lose track of the rules, especially handballs!

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Noteworthy Quotes & Moments

• “I realize I am now, in fact, hypocritical for what I have told the party people to do.”
  – Abby, on stepping in to coach her daughter’s team ([05:03])

• "You don't need to know that much at this age. Just have fun. Play everyone...create a vibe that makes them want to come back."
  – Julie, on coaching young kids ([07:02])

• “Specializing is a big reason [girls quit]; I needed basketball to give me a break from soccer.”
  – Abby ([19:17])

• “Whoever has the biggest feeling about it wins.”
  – Abby, on how minor family decisions are made ([26:56])

• "Probably it, you know, you needed that to have some perspective about I need to get to the other side."
  – Julie, on Abby’s journey getting sober ([31:59])

• "It's not called offsides, plural. No shame in this because I did this for many years in my career. It's offside."
  – Julie, offside explanation ([34:15])

• “We should do that...have it like, on ESPN where they can draw up a play...that would be kind of fun.”
  – Abby, on making future educational graphics for listeners ([40:34])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:37 – Q1: Should parents coach their own kids?
• 14:14 – Q2: Preventing early sports specialization
• 21:09 – Q3: Making important family decisions
• 27:15 – Q4: If you could have a do-over...
• 33:59 – Q5: What is offside in soccer, anyway?

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Overall Tone and Style

• Conversational, warm, relatable, and often self-deprecatingly funny—the hosts are candid about their own contradictions and struggles.
• They blend lived expertise with empathy, encouraging parents to relax, keep perspective, and put kids’ happiness above all.
• Original language retained wherever possible—lots of direct quotes and characterful asides.

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Conclusion

This Q&A installment of "Welcome to the Party" is a must-listen for parents deep in the youth sports trenches, giving both practical advice and much-needed comic relief. Abby and Julie’s honest, wise, and humorous takes on parenting, pressure, and play will resonate with anyone trying to raise resilient, joyful kids amid intense cultural and athletic demands. Plus: you might finally be able to explain the offside rule at your next family dinner.

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For more questions or to join the discussion, email:
[e-mail] or hit up their socials @welcometothepartyshow (Insta/TikTok/YouTube).

Transcript

[A]

This is right after we did the Rebecca Lowe episode. And when I was like, do not go to practice. And Emma actually gave me a hard time. She's like, you said, don't go to practice. And I was like, I realize. I realize I am now, in fact, hypocritical. Attention. The party is about to commence.

[B]

Welcome to the party. What's up, party people? I'm Julie Foudy.

[A]

And I'm Abby Wambach.

[B]

Well, party people, we asked and you answered. So now you're going to ask and we're going to answer. You follow me?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I do not.

[A]

I do.

[B]

Okay, good. You do. Thank you, Abs. Basically, we shall give the power to the party people.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

We put out the back call for our listeners to email us questions, and we got so many thoughtful ones. So thank you for that. Today we're going to answer several of the submissions and I don't know see where the conversation. Where the conversation goes, because with us, you just never know.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You really don't. You don't know. And as a reminder, you can always send us an email at party people, questions, gmail.com. party people, questions, gmail.Com or literally drop a comment anywhere in Insta, Apple podcast page, Spotify. You know, we love to hear from you, so please do that. All right, Abigail.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The party people want to know. Are you ready?

[A]

Drum roll, please.

[B]

I just listened to your episode with Rebecca Low. That was the episode we did on the dos and don'ts of being a youth sports parent. And I have a question about coaching. What are your thoughts on parents coaching their own kids?

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

What do you got, Abs?

[A]

This is tough.

[B]

This is a hard one.

[A]

This is tough. Tough for me because I would say in general, when they're young, it's probably okay, right? Like rec league, you want to just get your kid out there. You want your kid to learn how to love being around new kids, teammates, what it feels like to be on a team. But as they grow older, I do think it's really important to. To establish other people as quasi authority members for your kids. Not to say that quasi. Yeah. Not to say that they are, like full on authority figures, but, like, it is really good for kids to have other people that they look to for learning how to become their best selves. So for an. But you have to be particular, right? Like when you sign up for a club or a team, you got to make sure that you talk to the coaches that they. That they don't just, like, place you with a random Coach. That, you know, that this person is a good person and they have very similar values of the way that they teach their kids or your kid. We were very particular about who was coaching our kids. Now, I say this with a caveat because our asterisk.

[B]

I knew there was an asterisk.

[A]

Yeah. Because our child, Our youngest kid, Emma, she. She is a senior in high school and she's going to college next year. Right. She's leaving in July. And I've noticed that there's something about this generation of athletes that I don't know if her team or teammates are a hundred percent prepared for the jump in level. Right. The level of expectation, the level of commitment, the level of kind of the intensity of playing Division 1 college sports, you know, and so I got in touch with her coach during this. This summer, and I just said, if you want, and I'll talk to my kid if you want, I would be happy to come and just be around the team for like one session a week just to.

[B]

So great.

[A]

Just to kind of get them into the mindset of what it feels like to have a higher standard required of them, at least on a very basic level. Right. Like, hey, we can be better. You know, because there's. There's some. Some coaches out there, especially with. With, you know, teenage kids, they don't know the dynamics and the psychology of a young athlete. And there's a. There's a. I think a large percentage of these younger kids who don't know how to necessarily push themselves. It was really cute because this coach actually went. Went on a trip last week, and she said, can you cover the sessions? And so this is right after we did the Rebecca Lowe episode. And when I was like, do not go to practice. And Emma actually gave me a hard time. She's like, you said, don't go to practice. And I was like, I realize. I realize I am now, in fact, hypocritical for what I have told the party people to do.

[B]

No, that was a coach asking you to go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You weren't going under your own volition. Like, that was them asking, hey, can you do us a solid?

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Um, but I did realize. I did realize that while I was there, I do have, like, kind of a unique perspective that maybe not all parents have. So taking all of this with a grain of salt, I went. I had the best time. And the kids, they crushed it this weekend. They scored. They scored 10 goals. So I do think that maybe my ability to add value was received.

[B]

Yeah. You know, Abby's taking All the credit for the 10, 10 nil thumping. No, I love it.

[A]

No, they get all the credit. I just gave them permission to score goals, to go forward, to attack. Right. Like so much of the way that I, I watch some of this like new form of, of the way that these teams try to build out and I love it. Like possession, so good. But then you get into the attacking third and they just want to keep possessing. And I'm like, hold on a second.

[B]

Yeah, get it.

[A]

Score, shoot.

[B]

Get in. Yeah, score, shoot.

[A]

And so when you're in the, when you're in the 18, man, like you gotta, you gotta tell your teammates, like, go for it. Like, shoot, you're 1v1. Take her. Like they, they just weren't doing that.

[B]

And so the coach had said, no, we're good, we don't need you to come once.

[A]

That would have been fine. I, I gave her that out too. I was like, you know what?

[B]

You're like, you could say no.

[A]

Yeah. What do you think about this, Jules? Like, what are your thoughts on parents coaching?

[B]

I love it. I agree at a young age that when you, I and you look at so many of like ayso these programs that are volunteer based. Right. You need parents stepping up and doing it. So I always. Our rule in the family was if we're not going to step up and volunteer because we didn't have the time, then we should support and applaud the ones who do and are so very grateful when they do do that when they're really young. Because it is often parent coaches coming in who don't really even know. And the only thing I would say to them is like, hey, you don't need to know that much at this age. Just have fun. Play everyone. Don't just play your kid, obviously. Right. Play everyone and have fun and create a vibe that makes them want to come back.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

I think we for forget that sometimes when we don't grow up in the sport and so we're so worried about, oh, I don't know, the X's and O's. I gotta prove that I know the X's and O's that we forget to create a fun atmosphere that just kids want to come back. And at that age you gotta, you gotta create an environment that excites them enough to come back. So. But yes, I agree. Once they get a little bit older then they, they, they need someone else in their life talking to them sometimes. That's not always person, you know, possible. There have been situations where I've had parents have to coach a team or they coach a team, and the kid is fine with it. And sometimes they're not. And you got to know what your kid is like.

[A]

Right?

[B]

If your kid is not fine with it, then you. You're sucking the life out of the sport for them, and maybe you need to move on to something else. So. But yeah, it's. It's a hard one. But I do appreciate at a young age when they do give their time.

[A]

All right, so, Jules, you know that us athletes, we know a lot about clothing. We have to, because. Yeah. After so many years in such specific high performance clothing, and in the early years, it wasn't very high performance. I now have extremely strong feelings about everything from fabric to cuff height to breathability.

[B]

Wait, let me just interject real quick and tell you how. How much I know about fabric, because it was like you talking about the old days. It was like heavy cotton that, like, you. If you sweated in it, you had these. Remember those big gray, like, sweat marks? Because it was so thick and rough.

[A]

The worst. And it was like.

[B]

It was like an extra 10 pounds on your body, by the way, FYI.

[A]

And that's why I love Vuyori's dream knit performance jogger. Honestly, they somehow figured out how to make parts of that feel like pajamas, but still look like I'm put together enough to wear anywhere. And when I'm on the road, it's what I travel in. When I walk the dog, it's what I walk them in when I'm going to meetings, when I'm having coffee, when I'm just relaxing on the couch with my family. The magic is in Vuori's dream knit fabric. It's unbelievable. Have you felt it, Jules? It's lightweight, it's soft, it stretches with.

[B]

You lots of pairs, but it seems.

[A]

To never lose its shape, no matter how many times you wash it, no matter where you wear it, no matter how much you sweat in it or try to ruin these. These clothes, they don't ruin.

[B]

No, no. And they're so light and airy that when you're actually working out on them. I was just running on the tread the other day when I was traveling, and they're great travel clothes, by the way, because you just roll them up and they're in. I actually felt like I had nothing on. I mean, it was just like, oh, my gosh, it's so light and airy and beautiful. Like, I just. I can actually run on a treadmill again. Oh, my God. Okay, so Vuori is an investment. Yes. In your happiness. And for all our listeners, this is the really co are offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable clothes and versatile clothing on the [e-mail] welcome to the party. That's V O R I.com welcome to the party. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions and not only abs will all our listeners receive that 20% off their first purchase, but you're going to enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75. And I love this free returns. So go to Vuori.com welcome to the party and discover the versatility of Vuori Clothing exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and.

[A]

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[B]

Okay, abs, here's something I've learned from years of competing. Here's what we know you do not get there alone. There's no way. Even the best players, you need a coach. You need someone who sees the big picture, who keeps you accountable, maybe helps you make your next right move. We need that support. That's what we know. We've known that.

[A]

I mean and also, while you might not be chasing an actual championship, you are chasing a meaningful life. And that's where Strawberry Me comes in. They really have made high quality career coaching accessible for everyone. Matching you with a certified coach who is very invested in your and your growth.

[B]

Yeah. And what's really cool is that together with this coach, you can clarify your goals. You can break through in terms of maybe what's holding you back, which we all have those things that are holding us back. You can build, build like real confidence not just for your next job, of course, but for the life that you want. And I think it's important to remember your future shouldn't just happen to you. With the right coach, you get to actually write it, you get to shape it, you get to write that next chapter on your terms.

[A]

All right? And if you're ready to get unstuck, visit Strawberry Me. Welcome to the party. To claim a special offer and to get started today. That is Strawberry Me. Welcome to the party. Stop settling, folks. Start building the career and the life you actually want. Foreign.

[B]

From our youth sports episode. That was a popular one. If you haven't listened to it, you should, because Rebecca Lowe is so good. She has a 9 year old named Teddy who's playing. And so we were trying to give her our insights. How. This is Beth. Beth's question. How can parents ensure that young kids don't specialize when teams are requiring two or three practices during the week in a game or competition on the weekend? At what age should they specialize?

[A]

Oof. This is a, this is an important question. Do you want to go for it first? Jules, I don't want to steal your thunder here.

[B]

No, go ahead.

[A]

Yeah, so I think that a couple things. One, I, I did an interview with Linda Flanagan. She wrote a book about this. That.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And a stat that she, she found was that like 98 or 99% of all Olympians played multiple sports growing up. Um, now a lot of us who are Olympians, the specializing of sports really hadn't started to take effect. So that's one reason, I think that, that why. That. Why that number is so high. But also most really quality athletes are good at multiple sports. Um, and I do wonder and worry about the specializing too early. I played basketball growing up. I for sure would not have been as good of a header playing soccer had I not played. Played basketball. Every single time I went up for a rebound. Every single time I, you know, looked at the basket and saw the trajectory of the ball coming off the basket. That helped me with My timing of my jump and being able to track a ball coming across the box, being able to time my jump and then be able to hit it with my head, had I not had that experience of, like, the consistent, repetitive nature of learning what jumping is, how to reach my height, the. The top part of my. And then be able to, like, actually snap header at the top part of my jump. That's not an easy skill to just know how to do. But because of basketball, I learned that really early. And then obviously, being tall in the game of soccer, I was one of the taller players on almost every team and on almost every field I played on. I do know that, yes, three practices, two or three practices during the week, and a game or competition on the weekend, it feels like a lot. But I do know that you can find the seasons and just tell those coaches, right, like, whether it's a YSO or club, that my kid's going to play lacrosse or my kid's going to play basketball, and they're just going to have to figure out how to handle it. But. But now it's like, it's so cutthroat that they. They make you feel anxious about even playing multiple sports.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's hard to fit it all in. There's no question. Like, we tried, and I think I talked about this in the Rebecca episode, but I'll say it again. We tried to really ensure that Izzy could play volleyball, which she loved, and soccer, and. And it just. When she got to high school, it. With the high school programs as well. So she was playing high school volleyball and high school soccer. It was like four practices or four teams between the clubs and the high school. And it was. It was not sustainable. Like, she literally was like, I cannot do this. Yeah, this is killing me.

[A]

It's a lot.

[B]

And, you know, get good grades in school, and there's all that stress and anxiety around that as well. So she ended up having to drop volleyball her sophomore year. Um, and I think, again, like, you as a parent, have to make it very clear, like you said, Abby, I think it can be done. Like, my sophomore in high school, Declan, is playing football and basketball. And it's a lot. It is. But they don't have, like, a corresponding club program for football. They don't have a corresponding, really club program for basketball. So it's just the high school. So it's doable. But if you have both, then it becomes a problem. But you have to kind of, as a parent, just say to coaches right away, when you join a club like, this is very important to me that, that our kid plays different sports, they're going to be missing things. We want you to know it's not because they don't want to be here, but because we have also, you know, to honor the other sport. And we think it's healthy for them to be playing multiple sports or find a coach. Because as we know, some coaches are like, yeah, we support that. And then you get in there and they're like, what? She's missing?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're like, okay, peace out. Yeah, like, find a club that, that truly supports it or a coach, or call them out like, hey, we joined this club because you said you supported it and now you don't.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So I think you have to advocate for your kid when they're especially younger in a middle school and high school. So.

[A]

Yeah, And I think it's also, I think it's important to note too, that so many of our young girls quit playing sports at a very early age. What is it, 14 or 15? Like, huge percentages. And the older they get, they quit. And I do think that specializing is a big reason for it because one of the things that I really needed when I was playing soccer as a young kid is I needed basketball to give me a break from soccer. Yeah, I was playing soccer pretty much three quarters of the year. I had this one quarter of the year that I could look forward to that it was a different game, that there were different friends, it was a different vibe. And that mentality wise, it is hard to do the same thing over and over again for 11 straight months. It's hard.

[B]

A person hard physically on your body. That's why they have so many injuries, because you're using the same muscles, like changing up the muscles, changing up your mind, all of that is healthy. So definitely we are advocates of not specializing. If you can hold off until you get to the point where your kid is like, I can't.

[A]

Yes, but it's hard. It's hard though, like, to, as a parent and a player, because so many of, especially in soccer, like so many of the club systems make it really obvious that like, they want you to be there 11 months a year and if not, they're gonna give your spot to somebody else. So there's like this political thing that these kids are having to manage through that. It's just, it's so icky and it's like a money grab in a lot of ways. Like, clubs want to do it because they can charge more for the year. And then they, they call it. It's. It's for development so that they get full year round development. It's just like. But at what cost?

[B]

No, that's just so you can charge us.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Okay. We are going to have so many youth sports episodes because I got a lot I want to unload on this for sure topic. So Beth, thank you for that question. Ariana has the next one. Thank you, Ariana, for submitting a question. How do you all make important decisions?

[A]

Oh, what?

[B]

So deep.

[A]

Okay, Jules, you start.

[B]

Oh, gosh. I don't like have a process process which is not going to be surprising to anyone who knows me. But I talk to friends, I talk to my husband, we talk it through, we think about the biggest priority and all of my important decisions is are we going to be happier as a family unit after that decision? Are we going to be happier personally? Are we going to be happier collectively and rarely about money, although obviously money is important because you got to pay the rent and pay the mortgage and all those things and take care of other bills. So that, that is important. But I just, I have always strongly believed, which is why I was explaining to Abby earlier and I think our Give the power to the Party People family edition that I didn't go to med school because I just felt that I wasn't going to be happiest there. Right. I wasn't going to. That wasn't me. I wanted to be out about doing different things and that was far too linear for me and far too serious. So that is how I, I frame important decisions. Is. Is my life going to be happier because I'm doing this?

[A]

That's good. I've got a couple of answers to this. Like a couple ideas. I knew you would that came to mind. Number one, the way that I like to frame big decisions, especially like the ones that might really impact our whole family's lives are I think of like deathbed regret. Right. Like if, if I'm laying in my deathbed and this, this decision I'm thinking about in hopefully 50 years from now, which one will I want to have made while I am laying there?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Right. Like, which one do I think might pan out the best for us? I'm not afraid of like the path of. Of least resistance decisions. Like I'm not afraid of making big decisions that are going to be hard. But I am very thoughtful at the cost of decisions. Glenn and I are in like a. Are in a. Trying to define like what enough is. Like enough material.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Collecting. Right. Like as a, as A human being. There's things that, as you get older, you're like, you're thinking about retirement and the kind of retirement you want to live. And that's, like, where Glenn and I are starting to, like, have conversations around. And defining what enough means helps us gauge what kind of ways we're going to swing on big, important decisions. Like, is this going to make our life more fulfilling or is this gonna. Like, because some people, right, like, they're. They're like, oh, in my retirement, I want to have. I want to travel, and I want to have a second home or buy a boat or whatever it might be. But at what cost, right? Not just, like, the financial cost, but, like, how much more stress is adding things to your life going to cost you? And to try to, like, really figure out what the cost is of the added stress, not just the financial cost, but, you know, when. For an example, I love boats. I'm a boat person. I love them so much. But they're a big responsibility, and they're constantly weighing on your head. And so that's part of, like, something that I might want to have in my retirement is like, get a boat and maybe a house on a lake or something like that. But at what cost? Not just the financial cost, but the responsibility of having to maintain and take care of these things. So the other thing that I want to say about this deathbed regret thing is that Glennon also would remind me. But what about bedtime regret, right? Like, rather than focusing so much out into the future of how this important decision is going to play a role in your deathbed regret or not, what about today? Like, we think especially, like, where we are right now in our retirement focused mindset, like, earning enough money to be able to live the life that we want to live in our retirement. Like, that's very much a 40s and 50s consciousness. But, like, are we giving up our present moment today? Like, we don't know if we're going to be around in five, 10, 15 years. And so what are we giving up? Like, what are we sacrificing now in order to make decisions? Like, are we making big decisions for our future now that are really, like, compromising our today? And then. And then on the minor scale, I think that this is important because it's. These are the things we're constantly circling around, like, what are we going to have for dinner, right? Like, these little minor decisions that are not important. Ariana. Like, I understand the way that Glenn and I usually figure out what we're going to do is whoever has the biggest feeling about it wins. Right. Like, I often don't care that much about what we have for dinner or what TV show we watch at the end of a day or whatever it might be. And so. And Glennon usually has bigger opinions and feelings about stuff, and so she wins in those. But, like, when I have a big opinion about something, then I win. So it's like whoever cares the most gets to be the deciding factor.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Bedtime decisions. I like that. Or bedtime regret.

[A]

Yeah. Rather than deathbed regret, think about bedtime regret. Because if you're not regretting anything every time you go to sleep, then you won't have any deathbed regret.

[B]

That's right. You're dealing with it in the present.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Okay, good question. Ariana Therese. Therese asked. Oh, another deep one. Is there anything in your life that you could change if you got a do over?

[A]

Oh, my God, I love these people. People.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

This is a hard one for me because I don't mentally take on board regret as. Or something like a decision that I made that I would want to because I, I have been able to. I'm a pivoter. And so I, I think, are you, Jules? It's like, oh, when I've made mistakes, that mistake was supposed to happen because I'm supposed to learn something, and then I. When I learn it, then through it. So these questions are tough for me because I don't like to think of myself as a person who wishes that I could, should have done something different in the past. One thing I do wish is I had gotten sober sooner. I do feel like I wasn't aware that I could be a happy person sober. I didn't know that that was a possible way of living. And I think I know, I know for sure that had I gotten sober sooner, I would have played soccer longer, I would have scored more goals, I would have probably won more championships. Especially in the last, like, three years of my career. The only way that I thought I knew how to deal with some of the pain, both physical and emotional, was by partying with my friends. Like, I, I told myself the story. Like, I work hard, play hard, you know, And I think that that would definitely be something that I would have done much sooner. Slash. Just never even started drinking alcohol, which is like, totally a new thing that's happening with, like, Gen Z. A lot of them are like, alcohol is not a thing. We're not, we're not party animals like you guys were. How about you, Jules? What Would you do over.

[B]

I don't, I'm the same way in terms of. And maybe that's a fault, right? Like that I pivot too quickly, but I, I pivot. I do think that it has served me well in life and that to your point, I can reframe things quickly and it takes sometimes a lot of thinking of the, our conversation around, around Nafisa Collier and how you just get to a point where you're like, I can't keep doing this. Right. But it takes sometimes far too long for me to get to that point because I am so able to say, well, this is this way because it should be and you know, we'll sort it and we'll figure it out and all those things. So I think I, I can't even look back on one thing. I've always felt like, to your point, like that happened for a reason.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right. I didn't go to UNC and win four national titles and I would have won four national titles or maybe not because I had been there and I would have dragged the team down. But like I could have won four national titles, you can see I instead decided to go to Stanford and help build a program. And now I have this incredible, robust, you know, Stanford family that is still alive and present with me every day that I in, you know, that I hang with and talk with and our teammates and all that are dear friends. So I don't, I don't think of it that way. I think of it as like you're going to be able to handle whatever life throws at you as shitty as it is or as happy as it is. And, and don't ever look back and go, I wish I had.

[A]

Yeah. So, yeah, it's definitely a way I think both of us try to live our lives where we're trying to, we're actively making decisions so as to not need a do over. Right. Because I do. Like even. There's even a part of me that, even with my partying and drinking during my non sober years, like there is a part of me that knows that like I needed to do that on some level. Like there was some sort of form of like need that I was trying to soothe. And so it's easy for me to say, oh, I wish I. But it was all worth it in some weird cosmic way that like, it leads us to where we are. And you are wherever you, you know, there you are. Everywhere you go.

[B]

Wherever you go, there you are, there you are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, and probably it, you know, you needed that to have Some perspective about I need to get to the other side.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. I need a healthier life.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

A happier life and not. And not this. Yeah. It's interesting.

[A]

Questions, party people, big questions.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

It's so easy to postpone our mental, mental health, delaying the support we so desperately need. And I've done it a million times, knowing something was off but thinking I could just get through it when things finally cooled down. Right. And honestly feeling that way made more sense then therapy used to feel too expensive, too complicated, or just impossible to fit into real life. Grow Therapy is designed to change just that. They're insurance friendly, affordable and easy to understand. And I think therapy is a must. Not only just for me, but I think it's a must for everybody. And so, so many people out there. Good therapists can make all the difference in weathering the storms of life. Grow Therapy is really innovating in the space. No subscriptions, no long term commitments, just support that fits your life and your budget. And with thousands of licensed therapists across the US you can filter by what matters to you. Insurance, specialty, identity or availability. Whatever challenges you're facing, GrowTherapy is here to help. Sessions average about $21 with insurance and some pay as little as zero depending on their plan. Visit growththerapy.com welcometotheparty today to get started, that's growththerapy.com welcome to the party. Growth therapy.com welcome to the party. Availability and coverage may vary by state and insurance plan.

[B]

Okay, last one, last one. Christina F. Please. All caps. Please help me explain off sides to my family that just don't get it. I feel like I'll make more. It'll make more sense coming from y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

First thing, Christina, is that. Did I say Christine first? It's Christina F. Yeah, that. It's not called offsides, plural. No shame in this because I did this for many years in my career. It's offside. So you're offside. You're not off sides. So a player is offside. Let me give you the legal jargon behind it.

[A]

There we go. That nobody will understand.

[B]

You're not going to understand it, but we're going to explain it. A player is offside when the ball is played by a teammate. So it's actually when that teammate touches the ball and strikes it right at the moment they strike the ball. Okay. You're offside if you are in the opponent's half of the field, meaning you're attacking half. Right. And any part of your head, body, feet, arm is closer to the opponent's goal line to the goal you're trying to score on, then both the ball and the second to last opponent. So the goalkeeper counts as one, let's not forget. And a defender. So you've got to have a goalkeeper and a defender between you and the goal line. If the ball's not there yet, that's pretty good, right? And it's when it struck.

[A]

Yeah, no, but that's pretty good if you know what, any of the words that you said, like for an example, opponents, half, any part of the head, body, and then the opponent's goal line, then both the ball and the second to last opponent. Let's break it down.

[B]

A goalkeeper and a defender. So you need two people.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Between the goal and you.

[A]

Okay, so we. We're gonna have to have Glennon come on and. And do her little spiel about outside. Yes, I'm gonna get her to come on. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do an episod Glennon soon.

[B]

Okay, we're going to do an EP episode on being offside.

[A]

Okay. So here's the ball. Okay.

[B]

Okay. What are you holding up? I don't have my glasses on.

[A]

This is a Sharpie.

[B]

You have a pen? And then what's the other thing in your hand?

[A]

I've got. I've got people. I. I'm holding people. So just give me a second here. All right, so here's the ball. Uhhuh. Person is on the ball. This is a person.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Here are your teammates, because you're on the same team. Pink. Okay. And pretend this is the last defender. Like a defender. Center, center, defender, sweeper, whatever. Now, if the person who's carrying the ball is about to pass the ball to their teammate. Here. Yeah. And the teammate is on this side of the defender. The goal is over here. If the teammate is on this side as the player passes the ball, or even they are considered onside. But if you. Your attacker is on this side going this way to the goal, and the.

[B]

Ball'S past and you touch it and.

[A]

You receive it, you are now considered off side. So you have to.

[B]

You need like, eight. You need to be an octopus. You need, like, another six arms.

[A]

Yes, exactly. So. And then it says second defender. And. And the reason why it says second defender is because in the rules of the game, they're including the goalkeeper as the second defender. Right. And so there's kind of complications. If you're on, like, down there and the goalkeeper comes up, then they're the last two defenders. But we're not going to talk about that right now. This is simp. Offside communication. Jules, we need your whiteboard for this. I think. I know.

[B]

I was just thinking that.

[A]

So here we are. Players on the ball with the ball. When the player kicks it, Jules. And the per. And the. Your teammate is here. Are they onside or offside?

[B]

They're on side, though.

[A]

They're on side here. And if they're beyond the final defender, are they onside or offside?

[B]

Jules, they are offside. They're singular. Not off sides. They are offside. Singular. Yeah.

[A]

And it's when the ball is played from your teammate, so you can't run into this little. The last defender. The space behind the last defender is like a no go zone until the ball is played. So you have to time this run.

[B]

Yeah. Offender, hold it. Or you run across that line, which Abby was very good at doing. Yeah, you run so that you have no arm or foot on the other side of that. I mean, it gets so ridiculous when they have, like, you know, your toe or your feet. I'm like, oh, my God.

[A]

I know. And I heard that FIFA might be changing the rules.

[B]

They are always changing.

[A]

I hear, I hear.

[B]

Don't even get into, like, what is a handball. Don't even start with me, because then I don't.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I don't know. I don't know anymore. The laws of the game have changed so much that I'm like, I don't know.

[A]

I know. It's funny because whenever we're watching Emma play, I'll say. I'll be like, oh, my God. Like, just like, under my breath next to Glennon, she'll go, what? And I'll be like, I think that that was a foul or something. And she'll. And she'll say. She'll say, what do you mean? And I'm like, well, I don't know. I don't really know the rules that well. I, like, literally am the worst at knowing the rules of the game. A, because they constantly change. And B, it didn't matter what the rules were, because when I was on the field, I was just, like, always trying to fight for a call. You know, I was always yelling at the ref, Becky Sauerbrun, like, hated playing against me because she was like, the refs love you. They give you all the calls. And I'm like, yeah, you're right, because I'm yelling the whole time for all the calls.

[B]

Good questions, party people. Yeah, we are going to get Glennon on. We'll Talk offside. We'll talk handballs. Christina, F. Great question. Okay. I hope you understand that I've been trying to explain that to my mom and dad for years.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I should have pulled out the pens and the chapstick or the gloss or whatever that was.

[A]

Yeah, this is Glennon's. That's the best part of this, is some Glennon's gloss. Some gloss, yeah. She's. I think she steals some of it from the girls. And, you know, I think we should probably do and get some sort of, like, illustration. Like, you know how they have, like, on ESPN where they can draw up a play and, like, have it like. We should do that. Yeah, that would be kind of fun.

[B]

We can bring on, like, Christina uncle, who's, like, a FIFA ref. Was a FIFA raf. And she can actually, like, really. But she's gonna do the same thing. She's gonna have these words we don't even know. We're like, what is that? Break it down 101. Okay, thanks for all these great questions. If you've got more burning questions, remember, hit us up at party people, questionsmail.com and don't forget to subscribe to YouTube so you can actually watch us. Welcome to the party YouTube channel. It's up and running. And click that little bell icon so you know when you subscribe that there are new live episodes up and running.

[A]

And it would mean a lot to us if you just took one minute. We would really appreciate it to rate, leave a comment and subscribe to the podcast on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. We really do want this podcast to be for you. And so let us know how we're doing. Let us know what you want. Let us know what you want more of or less of. We can handle it. And be sure to follow us on TikTok and Instagram at. Welcome to the party show, where Julie, Billie, and I will bring the party straight to your feed. And then also, we just can't thank Kate Diaz for our theme music, who wrote and composed it herself. It is an earworm. We love you, Kate. We love you, Jules. You want to bring it in?

[B]

All right. On three, party people. Put your pot in. 3, 2, 1. I can't even remember if I do 1, 2, 3 or 3, 2, 1. I count us down, right?

[A]

You always do. 1, 2, 3. So it really. It really took me for a loop there. Welcome to the Party is an independent production brought to you by Treat Media. Treat Media makes art for humans who want to stay Human Forever Dog is our production partner and you can watch our full conversations on the welcome to the party YouTube channel and follow us at welcome to the Party show on Instagram and TikTok.