The Behavior That Elevates (or Undermines) our Youth Athletes

Summary

Welcome to the Party

Episode: The Behavior That Elevates (or Undermines) Our Youth Athletes

Hosts: Julie Foudy, Abby Wambach, regular guest appearance by Billie Jean King
Date: December 4, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the culture and behaviors shaping youth sports, focusing especially on how adults — parents and coaches — profoundly influence young athletes. Drawing on their own sports journeys, hosts Julie Foudy and Abby Wambach, joined for the Party Buzz segment by Jordan Robinson, break down everything from buzzy college hoops news to the crucial importance of sportsmanship, empathy, and joy in the youth sports experience. The discussion is lively, candid, and sometimes hilarious, but always rooted in the deep belief that positive behavior from adults is foundational for young athletes’ growth in sport and life.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Party Buzz: Women’s College Basketball Latest

Guest: Jordan Robinson, freelance sports journalist (Women's Hoop Show)
Timestamps: 00:41–13:15

• Players Era Tournament (Starts at 01:40):

  • First time for women’s tournament with major teams: Texas, South Carolina, UCLA, and Duke.
  • Each participating school received $1 million toward their NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) activities.
  • “It was a big deal to get this much competition this early in the season. Typically, this is a March Madness lineup.” — Jordan Robinson (01:56)
  • Texas wins high-drama matchups; star point guard Rory Harmon’s near buzzer-beater secures the championship.
  • Jordan highlights Texas’s “swarming, sweltering” defense and top players, especially Madison “Bucket” Booker.
  • Funding comes via sponsors like Geico and founders including an AND1 co-founder. (04:06–04:56)

• LSU’s Scoring Streak (05:05):

  • LSU started the NCAA season with eight straight 100+ point games — “They are scoring like crazy.” (05:13)
  • Guard Flau’jae Johnson singled out for athletic and musical talents.
  • Caveat: LSU’s schedule lacked tough competition early on, which may inflate their stats.

• Transfer Portal Drama (07:47):

  • Malaysia Fu and Wiley transfer from LSU to South Carolina after another top scorer arrives.
  • “Cancel your plans for February 14th when LSU plays South Carolina — it’s must-watch TV!” — Jordan Robinson (08:16)

• Kim Mulkey’s Wild Outfits (08:30):

  • Jordan recounts her Final Four interview with LSU coach Kim Mulkey, whose flamboyant style is “so opposite of her fiery and stern personality … feathers, sequins, glitz, glam. I love it.” (08:46)

• Name to Know: Sila Swords (09:35):

  • Michigan guard, sophomore, recent stellar game vs. UConn. “She put everyone on notice … toughest competition UConn has faced.” (10:17)

• USA Basketball Roster Drop (11:32):

  • Takeaway: “No one panic. This is a training camp roster, not the Olympic team.” — Jordan Robinson (11:40)
  • Notably includes two college players: Lauren Betts (UCLA) and Juju Watkins (USC).

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2. Sportsmanship & Adult Modeling in Youth Sports

Timestamps: 17:09–26:02

• Shifting the Focus (17:46):

  • “Instead of focusing on how we teach our kids about sportsmanship, we should start with how do we teach adults about sportsmanship? Because we’re the ones modeling it.” — Julie Foudy (18:15)
  • Too often, adults set a poor example: arguing with refs, coaches, other parents, even players.

• Winning vs. Sportsmanship (19:15):

  • Abby underscores how a win-at-all-costs culture amplifies anxiety and bad behavior: “If you can get the teamsmanship and the sportsmanship right, the winning usually comes. … It’s a byproduct of the real reason we do sport.” (19:45)
  • Emphasis should be on community, conflict navigation, learning, and joy — not just the scoreboard.

• Parent Sideline Behavior: The Lollipop Hack (22:37):

  • Abby shares Glennon Doyle’s sideline strategy: distribute lollipops to parents (herself included) “to keep my mouth shut. And maybe the rest of us do, too. Would you like a lollipop?” (22:55)
  • “There is a line of energy on the sidelines — if parents ramp up, it radiates to the kids.” (24:13)
  • Keeping cool, cheering positively, and resisting the urge to coach/yell is vital to children’s experience.

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3. The Car Ride Home: A Crucial Moment

Timestamps: 26:30–29:55

• Who Do Kids Want in the Car? (27:24):

  • Citing a University of Florida camp survey, Abby reveals most kids want their grandparents — not parents — driving them home from games.
  • “The parents … aren’t going, hey, what did you think about this, maybe you could have done that… Nothing you want to hear in that moment.” — Julie Foudy (27:52)
  • Car rides shouldn’t be debriefs or critiques. Focus instead on support, connection, or letting the kid bring up the game if they want.
  • “There’s nothing you as a parent is going to say that’s going to make them play better or worse. Well, it could make them play worse…” — Abby Wambach (29:40)

• Dropout Rates & Joy (29:55):

  • 70% of kids drop out of sports by age 13, per Aspen Institute research. Not having fun, or not meeting parental expectations, are main reasons.
  • Julie: “If your North Star is joy, not college scholarships, you’ll get the healthiest return.”

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4. The "ROI Trap" and Plant Parenting

Timestamps: 32:00–36:44

• ROI Mindset (32:35):

  • Parental over-involvement is often linked to the sizable investment in youth sports.
  • “If your return on investment is a college scholarship … you are going to be a parent on the sidelines that has unrealistic expectations, probably going to get out of hand.” — Abby Wambach (33:41)
  • Instead: Honor your child’s journey; be an observer, not a sideline coach.

• Plant Parenting (35:14):

  • “Plant parenting” = being present but letting children come to you (especially as teens), which mirrors the importance of giving kids autonomy in sports.

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5. Celebrations, Sportsmanship, and “Don’t Poke the Bear”

Timestamps: 40:29–54:39

• When Celebrations Cross the Line (40:38):

  • Julie shares learning experiences as a player: “Do not poke the bear by rubbing it in … that shit comes back to bite you.” (41:52)
  • Norway’s famous “centipede crawl” celebration after beating the USWNT in 1995 became motivation fuel for the US, leading to Olympic revenge.
  • Abby recalls Brazil’s elaborate post-win “drum circle” in 2007, and how the USWNT drew on that for inspiration in their next Olympic meeting.

• Memorable Quotes:

  • “Would I take a picture of that [celebration] and hang it in my locker room? Because that is going to come back to bite you.” — Julie Foudy (47:34)
  • “I appreciate celebrating … but there is a line where you just don’t rub it in the face of the opponents.” — Abby Wambach (47:05)
  • Use empathy: "Put yourself in the shoes of the person who just lost." — Julie Foudy (47:44)

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6. Teaching Empathy in and out of Sports

Timestamps: 47:44–50:21

• Empathy Education:
  • Julie highlights Denmark’s empathy training in schools: “If you were in those shoes, how would you feel?”
  • Glennon Doyle’s family hack: each sibling must recount disagreements from the other’s perspective (49:12).

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7. Examples of Outstanding Sportsmanship

Timestamps: 51:05–54:39

• Two under-23 Italian fencers: With 17 seconds left, an injured competitor’s rival lets the clock expire so she can win. “Friendship is worth more than a victory.” — Julie Foudy (52:18)
• Grandview Softball, 2023: Injured player is helped around the bases by the opposing team after a grand slam (53:04).
• Abby: “If you’re only trained in the winning piece, it is really hard to even understand what it feels like and what it looks like to be a good sport." (53:11)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We should start with how do we teach adults about sportsmanship? Because we’re the ones modeling it.” — Julie Foudy (18:15)
• “If you can get the teamsmanship and the sportsmanship thing right, the winning usually comes.” — Abby Wambach (19:39)
• “There’s nothing you as a parent is going to say that’s going to make them play better or worse … it could make them play worse.” — Abby Wambach (29:40)
• “Friendship is worth more than a victory.” — Italian fencer Tri Dee, quoted by Julie Foudy (52:18)
• “What’s my ROI?” — Julie Foudy, lampooning the parent mindset (33:38)
• “Plant parenting — just be a plant in the room and wait for your kid to come to you.” — Abby Wambach (35:14)
• “Who doesn’t want a lollipop, Julia?” — Abby Wambach’s sideline hack (23:59)
• “Empathy teaching for young kids … should be mandatory.” — Julie Foudy (49:53)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Party Buzz – Women’s College Hoops: 00:41–13:15
• Sportsmanship & Adult Modeling: 17:09–26:02
• Car Ride Home & Parental Involvement: 26:30–29:55
• ROI Trap & Plant Parenting: 32:00–36:44
• Celebration Ethics / Don’t Poke the Bear: 40:29–54:39
• Empathy Teaching & Examples: 47:44–54:39

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Episode Takeaways

• The behaviors of adults — more than rules or lectures — powerfully shape youth athletes’ sportsmanship and attitude.
• Winning should not be the only focus; joy, growth, empathy, and healthy community matter more.
• Thoughtful celebrations and empathy for opponents are as essential as training hours.
• Outstanding examples of sportsmanship remind us all what really matters.
• Coaches, parents, and kids all benefit from keeping the game’s heart front and center.

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Further Resources

For video examples and practical tips referenced in the episode, check the show notes.

Questions for the show? Email: [e-mail]

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End on a note true to the show: Bring it in, party people.

Welcome to the Party: Where the first rule is to have a sh*t ton of fun — and maybe, keep a lollipop handy on the sidelines.

Transcript

[Julie Foudy]

You take that ball and you run. You take that ball and you run.

[Jordan Robinson]

You run.

[Julie Foudy]

How do we teach our young kids about sportsmanship? Man, when you poke the bear, that shit comes back to bite you.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, I appreciate celebrating. I think that it's an important element of sport. But there is a line where you just don't rub it in the face of the opponents. Attention.

[Julie Foudy]

The party is about to commence.

Welcome to the party.

What's up, party people? I'm Julie Foudy.

[Abby Wambach]

And I'm Abby Wambach. Party people. We are kicking off a brand new segment called the Party Buzz where we dig into everything buzzy in the world of sports. Sports. And today, guess what? We're going to start with? Jules. We are starting with basketball. And joining us is freelance sports journalist and host of Odyssey's Women's Hoop Show. Jordan Robinson here, she's going to give us all the scoop on all the things. Hoops. Yes, the Party Buzz. College Hoops edition with Jordan Robinson. Jules, I'm so pumped because somebody's gonna finally teach us all the things that we pretend to know, but we really don't.

[Julie Foudy]

Jordan, thank you for.

[Jordan Robinson]

I'm so excited. Thanks for having me in the party.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

Welcome to the party. All invited. Thank you for making it.

Let's start. We, we spoke on Tuesday with UCLA's Corey Close. We talked players era tournament, the loss to Texas, I mean, but let's talk about that tournament first of all, because first time they've had it. Texas, Texas, South Carolina, UCLA and Duke. Come on.

[Jordan Robinson]

It was a big deal to get this much competition this early in the season. Typically this is a March Madness lineup that we get these big top ranked schools all playing each other, especially back to back. They played each other within 24 hours of each other. So players era, this was the first year for the women. 2024, it was the first year for the men. But for the men's side, they had 18 teams. Each school gets $1 million towards their nil, which is insane. Yeah, $1 million. Then on the men's side, they're like, okay, that's not enough. Next year it's going to be 32 teams. So the women got four. We're going to work on that. We're going to work on that. We're going to try to get that up for next year. But all four of the women's teams got the same amount of money. That's also a big deal. They also got $1 million each for just showing up. And it was this idea that, you know, all the competition in the early season is lacking. We need to bring that up. Give the hype, give something. It was in Las Vegas on the Aces court. It was a big time showdown and the play lived up to it. Absolutely. UCLA going against Texas like you mentioned, but Texas was the champion and it was so dramatic. We, we love drama. It was a near buzzer beater by the point guard Rory Harmon with 1 second left defeating South Carolina and, and Texas is the real deal, you guys. I don't know how much you know, but after beating UCLA and South Carolina they moved up to the number two team right behind UConn. They have Rory Harmon, like I said, that point guard. But they have Madison Booker. All you need to know.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah, Booker.

[Jordan Robinson]

Bucket Booker. But just say that over and over. That's what will. It'll get into your brain that she is a bucket getter. Her mid range game is sweet. And when you talk about a Texas team and a Vic Schaefer coach team, you have to talk about defense. They are swarming, sweltering on defense. They're getting charges, making you turn the ball over. That's how they're winning games and that's why they're the number two team in the country.

[Abby Wambach]

Do you know who's paying for this tournament and, and, and how is this getting sponsored and funded?

[Jordan Robinson]

Okay, so what I found from doing some digging, because that's an obvious question, who is giving all these teams millions of dollars for their nil collective, we have to say. So they had a title sponsor, they had Geico, but this is a group of founders who, one of them was the co founder of ANN1, which is a popular brand, basketball brand and one mixtapes from back in the day. So this is his way to get back into college hoops. But it's really from funding from advertisements from their sponsorships on the courts there they have that title sponsor of Geico. So that's how they were able to shell out a lot of this money. That's what I found.

[Abby Wambach]

All right, I think we're going to switch gears because LSU has been on a hot streak. Can you tell us a little bit more about that and.

Want to talk a little bit about Malaysia transferring from LSU to South Carolina. One of the biggest shakeups in the portal last year.

[Jordan Robinson]

Yes. Okay, I'm so excited to talk about this. So LSU has set an NCAA Division 1 record by starting the season with eight consecutive 100 point games. They have scored 100 points or more in eight straight games. And when you look at it, it's almost 900 points. When you add it all up, they are scoring like crazy. And it's because they have one of the best backcourts in all of college basketball. Flagella Johnson.

[Abby Wambach]

What's back court? What's back?

[Jordan Robinson]

Okay, guards, guards, guards. They have great guards, Great guards. They're speedy, they're fast, they can score. And they also just get stuck. Steals like. Like no one's business. So that's like a layup line.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay.

[Jordan Robinson]

Flage Johnson is a name that you have to know. She is a senior. She is. Not only is she a rapping superstar, she's a musician, by the way.

[Julie Foudy]

Seen it.

[Jordan Robinson]

But on the court, she takes care of business as well. This is her senior year, and I think she's looking into this season as a audition tape for WNBA teams. They want to know if. If she can score at this level, at the highest level. And I think that she is already showing that in these first eight games. Now, the asterisks with this record is that they have not been playing high competition at all. These are schools that aren't even in the ballpark of an LSU. This is.

[Julie Foudy]

They were not at the Players Era tournament.

[Jordan Robinson]

No, they were not at the Players Era tournament. No one has been ranked.

[Abby Wambach]

No.

[Jordan Robinson]

1. That's not something that they do. Now. Kimoki has been criticized for this in the past because it's kind of inflating their record. Like, yes, they are undefeated. Yes, they have over 100 points. But she's not scheduling tough competition from the beginning. So while other schools are in the Player era or are playing ranked opponents to get that litmus test right from the beginning, she doesn't do that. But still, you have the guards, you have the players that are on display. And you mentioned Abby, Malaysia, Fu, Wiley. This was the shock of the off season. The T is South Carolina signs to Nia Latson, who was the leading scorer in women's college basketball last season, they sign her in the portal. And that's when everyone was like.

That. There goes Malaysia's minutes. Like who? How is she gonna play? And Malaysia play. There's not enough space on the court. So as soon as that sign happened, Malaysia entered the portal. She said she's going to LSU and that it's working out for her. Lsu, she's their leading score. She's still coming off the bench. She's still electric. She's all those things. But I will say, if you have something scheduled for February 14th when LSU will plays South Carolina, cancel it. Cancel it. It's gonna be. Must watch tv.

[Julie Foudy]

Who Needs Valentine's Day. No one does.

[Jordan Robinson]

No one needs Valentine's Day. This is your Valentine's Day. Watching women's basketball.

[Julie Foudy]

Do you think. Do you think Malaysia went for the Kim Mulkey outfits?

[Jordan Robinson]

Maybe. I mean. And what do you think of the.

[Julie Foudy]

Kim Mulkey outfits, Jordan? I need to know.

[Jordan Robinson]

You know, I interviewed Kim Mulkey at the Final Four, the year that they won it, and I asked her about her closet, and she said that it's. It's taken on an aura of its own. She's like, I didn't know that it was going to be this way. My former student styles me, but I was like, I just want to see what's in that closet. It's feathers, it's sequins, it's glitz, it's glam. It's everything. I love it. I think that it's so opposite of her fiery and stern personality that I just love the irony there of the peacock feathers. And then she's cussing at refs on the court.

[Abby Wambach]

I love it.

[Julie Foudy]

All right, a name to know. Who is your player? Who do we need to know? What's a name we should know?

[Jordan Robinson]

Okay, a name that you should know is Sila Swords. She is a guard from Michigan. She is so good, you guys. Really, really good. She's only a sophomore. Only a sophomore. And the game that Michigan played against UConn, her and AZ Fudd, it was like a shooting clinic. They were just going back and forth, trading threes. And these are high, difficult shots. She's shooting off the dribble with the 6, 2, guard or forward flying at her. And she's still making them. She made it look so easy. And you can just tell when someone is in the gym, you know, just getting those reps up. Doesn't matter what part of the court, what time, shot clock, running down, game on the line. She was putting them down. And till this day, that was the toughest competition that UConn has faced. Went down to the wire. Silas sword scored 29 points, and she scored nine points in the last minute. That's three threes. We thought the game was over, everyone. UConn was like, whoo. Okay, finally we got some separation. Here she comes again. Tough three out of bounds play. She was so good, and I think she put everyone on notice. I don't know if a lot of people were paying attention to Michigan, but she was able to not only boost her team's visibility, but herself as well. She has a ton of experience coming into this season, and it shows.

[Abby Wambach]

I Watched some of those replays and I was like, all right, Sila, I see you. I see you. You're still young. You're still. You're still young. But you'll get there. Okay.

[Jordan Robinson]

Jordan, What a cool name.

[Abby Wambach]

I know. It is a cool name. It's like a good Silas Swords. Like, come on, come on.

[Jordan Robinson]

You have to be just a sniper from the three point line with that name.

[Abby Wambach]

Jordan, there was a recent USA Basketball roster drop. Can you. Do you have any takeaways on the roster? Drop?

[Jordan Robinson]

Yeah, I think my biggest takeaway is no one panic. This is a training camp roster. This is not the Olympic team. We are not going into the Olympics tomorrow. I think there was a lot of high anxiety when you just see Team USA and a list of names. So that was my first thing. My other takeaway was that, you know, there were two college players on this list, which is kind of rare. That doesn't typically happen, but Lauren Betts, you talk to Corey Close. Ucla, a lottery pick for sure. Six, seven, center. She is on this list. And Juju Watkins, a superstar out of usc. Juju is. That's taking this whole season off. She tore her ACL in March, so she is not going to be playing. But I still think for both of them.

So much knowledge from just being there, just being in the gym with this level of talent.

[Julie Foudy]

That's cool. It was quite a list too, of all the top names in women's basketball that we're so familiar with. Okay. That's what's buzzing in the world of women's hoops. Thank you so much for hanging out with us, Jordan. Kicking it off. Our very first party buzz. You can find more from Jordan on Instagram or Tick Tock at Jordan Liggins. Or hey, Tick Tock is hey, Jordan Robinson. Her handles will be in the show notes as well. Jordan, you are a rock star. We appreciate that so much. Thank you for doing that.

[Abby Wambach]

Thank you so much.

[Jordan Robinson]

Thank you for having me.

[Abby Wambach]

Come back anytime. You're more than welcome.

[Julie Foudy]

Abs.

[Abby Wambach]

You.

[Julie Foudy]

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[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Nice.

[Julie Foudy]

And, and, and whenever they are like, where did you get that? I'm like, Wayfair. It's easy.

[Abby Wambach]

You should.

[Julie Foudy]

You too should try it.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Julie Foudy]

So I have a huge, rowdy Fowdy family, as you know, and my house becomes like the central gathering spot for holidays. So I. I couldn't, like, be more thrilled to have. And we spend a lot of time. I push them outside because we're in California. It's nice still, right? You all outside. So we have all this now, nice new outdoor furniture I got, and it makes a difference. So when you go to Wayfair and you know the items that you will need, because they send them and they send them quickly. Like this furniture that I got, an entire outdoor set got shipped, Abby, in two days. What? Yes. Two days.

[Abby Wambach]

Nice.

[Julie Foudy]

And you know how, like, sometimes you're like, I'm gonna get this couch, and it's like, you're gonna.

[Abby Wambach]

Seven weeks.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. You're gonna have to wait nine months for that.

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[Abby Wambach]

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[Julie Foudy]

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[Abby Wambach]

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[Julie Foudy]

So Abs and I were doing a talk on sportsman sportsmanship for the Rose Bowl Institute recently. And a quick shout out to the Rose Bowl Institute, by the way. Both Kinger and I sit on their advisory board. And the Rose Bowl Institute is a nonprofit tied to the Rose bowl in Pasadena whose mission is to foster education and conversation around sportsmanship and leadership and just basically be a good citizen. Kind of like be a good teammate. Be a good citizen. Anyway, Abby and I did this talk on sportsmanship the other day for their women's empowerment symposium.

[Jordan Robinson]

And.

[Julie Foudy]

And we thought this is actually something we could be talking about on the pod and this would be really good as part. As part of our ongoing episodes that we will do and continue to do on the pod around youth sports, because we're gonna have to talk a lot about that craziness that surrounds youth sports. So here's the thing with sportsmanship, because, Abby, I think a lot of people think about sportsmanship in terms of how do we teach our young kids about sportsmansh and how do we teach young kids to be good sports. Right. All very important, but I think we're focusing on the wrong end of that equation. I think instead of focusing on how we kids are, teach how we teach our kids about sportsmanship, we should start with how do we teach adults about sportsmanship? Because we're the ones modeling it to our kids. We're the ones showing our kids what good sportsmanship looks like, or we're supposed to be. But as you and I know, and I think a lot of parents know, sometimes that modeling is not great modeling. It's bad.

[Abby Wambach]

That's right.

[Julie Foudy]

If you go to a sporting event and parents are going crazy on the sidelines, adults are going crazy on the sidelines, yelling at the referees, yelling at the coaches, yelling sometimes at the other players. God forbid. Right. What do we as adults need to be doing, first and foremost to model that? That's what I want to talk about.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, I mean, Jules, I think about, and we're going to get into this in more detail, but I think because our culture.

Really prioritizes winning as the standard, as the thing, that that's what sports are for. And in our family, we really value and prioritize.

Teammanship and sportsmanship more than the winning part.

It's my belief, and I know, Jules, you agree with that. If you can get the teamsmanship and the sportsmanship thing right, the winning Usually comes. And it's, it's a byproduct of the real reason why we're all doing sport. You know, like, we get our kids into sports not because we want to teach them just to become winners, but because we want them to, to have and embody the values of, of what sports is all about. It's about learning how to be a teammate. It's about learning how to be in community. It's about learning how to deal with conflict, with losing and with winning, and how can we do that in a way that makes us like a well rounded human being? And, and, and so often our culture puts the priority on winning, which then creates. I just think it's, it's the wrong message to send a lot of angst. It's a lot of anxiety, and I think a lot of, like, where a lot of sportsmanship, both parents and players, goes bad. Not, not only is it. It's this expectation, but it's unmet expectation of winning that gets these parents going sideways on the sidelines and gets the kids reacting incorrectly on the field or on the bench or whatever it might be because of this priority, that winning is the source. It's like the way to successful life. I just don't believe that that's true. I do understand that winning is an element of sport. It was something that really drove me. I wanted to win, I wanted to win games. But it's not just about the final score. It's how you win that also matters.

[Julie Foudy]

Right. And I think, you know, with parents with the best of intentions. Right, because we get it. We've been on the sidelines. You've heard my Izzy, take that ball and you run story, right?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

Of me losing my mind in her first ever soccer game at all of like 6 or 7 years old. And with the best of intentions. We want our kids to be successful. We want them to be successful in sports and life and all the things. But lost in that is when you talk about it going sideways. And, and I love the Glennon approach. Glennon, Abby's wife on the sidelines. Because sometimes, like you, you get so excited as a parent, and of course we get that. But you cannot, you cannot talk like, shut up. They say the one thing when they ask kids, what advice would they give to parents, they're like, please stop talking.

[Abby Wambach]

That's right.

[Julie Foudy]

Right. So can you give the Glennon her solution to all of this again? Yeah, it's worth repeating.

[Abby Wambach]

Look, I am not a perfect parent on the sidelines by any means. I, I sometimes get too Involved in the game in my mind. But for the most part, I try to sit there silently and only cheer positive things like, good job, way to go.

Collective.

[Julie Foudy]

I stay collective.

[Abby Wambach]

And so when, yeah, when we go to the games, we often have a bunch of lollipops in our bags in case a parent does get a little bit unruly. And so as the sportsmanship move, not only do I just go hand out lollipops, I put one in my mouth and I go around and I say to the other parents, I need a little help today to keep my mouth shut. And maybe the rest of us do too. Would you like a lollipop?

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, that's a great way of saying it. Instead of like you zip it.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

It's like, hey, I too need some help.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, I'm feeling a little bit, I'm feeling a little bit of like, I'm feeling a little out of sorts and I'm feeling a little bit.

You know, chippy. We call it chippy on the sidelines. I don't know if you guys call it that, but like when it's getting chippy out there and then that parents start getting chippy.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Feeling a little chippy today. So maybe you would like also to have a lollipop and it's just like a nice, lovely reminder. And who doesn't want a lollipop, Julia?

[Julie Foudy]

Who doesn't?

[Abby Wambach]

Plug it. Plug it, folks. Keep the lollipop in your mouth. If you need to bring multiple for the entirety of the game. Chew some gum, go for a walk.

Yeah. Keep your mouth shuts on the sideline because then that is how. Because what? There's a, it's an energy field that's happening. Right. So when the parents are sitting on the sidelines and they're watching their kids play, some sort of battle, some sort of interaction with your child is going to happen during this game. Yeah. And sometimes your kid's gonna get knocked down.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Sometimes the referee is gonna call a foul that you didn't think was a foul. Like that's just a, a for sure thing that's going to happen or the.

[Julie Foudy]

Ball'S gonna pop to your kid and she's got a one on one with the keeper.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

And you're very excited about it. As I got.

[Abby Wambach]

Exactly. And, and so there is gonna be moments where you're going to feel the impulse to want to start directing, to yell at the players, to yell at the referee, to yell for whatever reason. And that energy makes it harder for the kids to keep their cool because the Kids are feeling it. They're feeling the whole thing. They're feeling whether the referee missed the call or got it wrong. They're feeling if they've been fouled and it wasn't called. They're feeling if they've missed the goal. They're feeling all of it. And so when the parents step into the environment and start adding on the pressure again, of the expectation of winning again, of the expect, like, it makes them not be able to actually stay in their body and to be able to perform well. Do you know what I mean? Yes.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. It's just added anxiety. They do not need. You absolutely do not need that. Right. They already. And again, I get it happens with the best of intentions. But just a reminder, like, if someone hands you a lollipop or if you have a problem on the sidelines of zipping it, then bring lollipops. I love it. It's such a great idea.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Jules, do you want to tell your Izzy story, or is the one that you were telling. You're talking about. Yeah, that was.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah, I don't think I need to. That's when I got all excited and she had a 1v1.

[Abby Wambach]

I just love when you. That's my favorite story. I don't. I don't even care how many times you tell it.

[Julie Foudy]

You take that ball and you run, Izzy, ball. And you run.

[Jordan Robinson]

You run.

[Julie Foudy]

Paging crazy soccer mom. Oh, shoot. Okay, can we also talk about.

Again, on the adult side, the car ride home.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, yeah. This is big because. Yeah. Did you know. So I went to the University of Florida. Go Gators. And you know, a lot of colleges do summer camps every summer, and they sometimes use these summer camps as a way to recruit and see if there's, like, somebody coming up that they. They might have missed in one of the showcases. And. And the University of Florida, they do. They do a survey for all of their campers, and they've been doing it for 20 plus years. And in the survey, one of the questions they ask their. Their. Their campers, their soccer players, is, if you could choose to have somebody drive you home from a game, who would you want to drive you home from a soccer game?

[Julie Foudy]

That's part of their camp survey.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, I love that.

[Abby Wambach]

And overwhelmingly, the survey shows that. That kids want their grandparents to drive them home from games.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

And so I ask you, Julie Foudy, why do you think that is? Why do you think they don't want.

[Julie Foudy]

Their parents say, honey, that was so great. Yeah, great game. They are not going. Hey, what'd you think about this? And what did you think about that? And you. Maybe on this play you could have done this.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

Or maybe when you hit that ball over the crossbar from five yards out, you could have gotten your knee over. Right. Nothing you want to hear in that moment.

[Abby Wambach]

Right. And in an attempt, I. Because again, I do think that this is best of intentions because as parents were like, oh, we've got to teach our kids and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And also we got to pay attention. So we, this is a way for us to maybe connect in some ways. But the car rides home and the car rides to the game, they have to be in my mind. I don't even know if they're necessarily about the game. I think that it's like, I think it's like, hey, how you feeling? Like, how, how do you think that was? It's ask a couple of questions, but not have it be about the game. It's like, you know, I saw this player do this really cool thing because she brought the water to the player who was injured out on the field. And I thought that that was so interesting. And so the things that you're noticing are the things that your children will start to prioritize. Right. So when you talk about, oh, I saw that player, she scored this goal and she got in behind, and maybe your kid didn't score that game, your kid is interpreting that comment as, oh, my parent knows that I didn't score. And that's what they really want. And they're really. The expectation I now have to, to, to attain their, their attention and their affirmation is to score. And so then you wonder why your kid doesn't score goals is because the, the, the expectation is too high. You've, you've created this environment. But just by having these conversations on the car rides to games and the car rides home, like, there's nothing you as a parent is going to say that's going to make them play better or worse. And, well, it could make them play worse, but it's. I don't think that there's anything apparent, Even me, who knows the shit. Even you, Jules. Nothing I'm going to say is going to change in that car ride whether they play well.

[Julie Foudy]

No. And it's only going to create, if anything, more anxiety. And I think this stat, I heard, would help parents because it gets to the root of the problem.

This is, this is a stat from the Aspen Institute's Project Play, and it says 70% of kids drop out of sports by age 13 70% of kids, I'm just going to say it again, are dropping out of sports by age 13. Right. There's a lot of factors for this. We know, right. One of the main reasons why they found out it's not fun and they're not meeting the expectations of their parents. And so when you think about it with the best of intentions, a parent, think about that stat. How are you bringing joy into the equation? How. Right. And everything that should be your North Star. How are we making this enjoyable for the kids where they're, they're having fun even when losing, which we know stinks. Right. But it's not. Instead of your North Star being, I gotta get my kid to college. Right. I gotta get my kid on an ecnl top level team. If it's soccer, right. I gotta get my kid here, here, here. Just think like back up a little bit and say, how do we want our kids to continue to play? Because we do. We want our kids to continue to play. We want them to play beyond 13 because as the studies and stats show in research, that if your kid continues to play. Right. Less likely to get pregnant, more likely to finish college, all these great things. More likely to get a higher paying job or have, you know, better mental health, less likely to commit suicide. All these things we know that sports help with. So think about that rather than what I think society has programmed us to do of winning college scholarships. Winning college scholarships, all those things, Right?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. And Jules, I just want to add to that because I think, I just want to say as a parent who's gone through the system of club soccer, ecnl, club soccer and AYSO and rec league, same. I just want to say I understand why some parents can fall into the trap of taking on.

The child's sport as their own hobby in life.

Child, children's sports are expensive, okay? Especially as you go up into the elite ranks, you're traveling on airplanes and you're paying for hotels and rental cars and Airbnbs, you know, it's expensive.

And those resources are being funneled into the direction of these youth sports. And so I understand.

Why some of us might not be able to fully grasp that this is for them and not so much as a, an outlet for me in my life. Because I mean, the truth is it's, it's kind of a really fun experience to be a parent of a kid who is.

Doing all these really fun, going to these tournaments and whatnot. It's expensive. And so I understand that the parents want to get a return. There's like there's like an investment that they're seeing in, in the process of a great sports.

[Julie Foudy]

What's my roi Exactly. Turn on investing.

[Abby Wambach]

Exactly. And, and, and I just want parents to remember that the, the return isn't. And, and if you have it as a parent in your mind that you are expecting a return of investment that, that is correlated to a college scholarship or getting into a good college or an nil deal. An nil deal. Right. And if that is what your return on investment is, then you are going to be a parent on the sidelines that has unrealistic expectations. That is probably going to get out of hand. That is going to.

[Julie Foudy]

You're going to need a lollipop. Yeah, because we're going to need one.

[Abby Wambach]

You're basing, you're, you're. This experience is not the experience that, that I believe all of us should try to be having on the sidelines, which is honoring your kid, which is celebrating your kid, which is putting, putting yourself in, in an observer role, like watching your, your kid become a person rather than you needing to insert yourself into that equation over and over again. I think that that's where it gets really tough. Especially because kids don't want their parents, especially when they become teenagers, they don't want their parents to, to insert themselves into any part of their life. They call it plant parenting, where you just pretend like you are a plant in a room and when your children come to you and they need, they need something then.

[Jordan Robinson]

I never heard of this.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, plant parenting. And I think that that's.

[Julie Foudy]

Say it again. When you're a plant in the room.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, when you're a plant in the room. You just stand in the, in the corner and you wait for your kids to come to you. You just wait that we did this. We did this. When, when the oldest started to get into his teens and then the younger started to get into their teens, we stopped going and putting our children to bed that for themselves. Right. They start to do it themselves. And so Glennon and I made a pact with each other that we're not going to automatically just go into their rooms without knocking, without getting approval. And in fact we just won't go to their rooms. Like that's not going to be something that we do. And so now interestingly enough, what's happened, we've got 22 year old, a 19 year old and a 17 year old. And almost every single night when they're, all three of them are home, Glenn and I will go get in bed around 9 o' clock because we go to bed very early and. And lo and behold, all three of them will come to our bedroom and say goodnight to us.

Because it's like it's. It's. Their room becomes their safe space. Right? And. And when you, when you constantly intrude their safe space, it's like. Oh, it's like they've. They don't even, they're not even doing anything wrong. They just feel like it because somebody's walked into their safe space, you know?

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[Julie Foudy]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

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[Julie Foudy]

I. Yeah, I give us the ability to stay cool. Yes, thank you.

[Abby Wambach]

Stay cool. And. And did you know that they have 60 plus sizes from double A to H, including the half cup sizes? Because, you know, our, our boobs are just not the same size. Usually have one that's bigger than the other. It's like so, so weird. But that's just the way it is.

[Julie Foudy]

And they invented lopsided.

[Abby Wambach]

But they invented this for us in betweeners, right? So, seriously, half cups? How has nobody thought of this before?

[Julie Foudy]

I don't know.

[Abby Wambach]

Seems kind of unfair that it's taken this long. Thank you, third love, for thinking of all of our boob sizes. Okay, so mine, the ones that I'm reaching for without even thinking they are that good. And if you can see me out in the wild, I am 100% wearing one. And you can't see it because it's under my clothes. So I'm just going to tell you about it here instead. I promise. I'm wearing them. Stop settling for average bras. Get solutions made for your body. Get $15 off your first [e-mail] with code podcast15. That is podcast15.

[Julie Foudy]

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[Abby Wambach]

So annoying.

[Julie Foudy]

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[Abby Wambach]

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[Julie Foudy]

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I think too. And if you need a reminder on sportsmanship for the kids side of it or the player side of it, Right.

I look no further than what happened to us as a US women's national team in the 95 World cup semifinal. We were playing Norway. I'm just going to give you a quick story, but like, it's a reminder to players to not poke the bear by rubbing in in the face of the opponent when you beat them. Okay. Because this is what happens when you do this. And I get like, you want to do it and it feels really good in the moment, but man, when you poke the bear, that shit comes back to bite you, okay? And this is what Norway did to us. We're playing them in the Women's World cup in 1995 semifinal. Michelle Akers gets injured. She goes out. She was our Mufasa, big, curly haired, lion mane, amazing, six foot tall player who had the team on her shoulders. She gets injured. We end up losing to Norway in that semifinal. And it was gut wrenching for us, right? We're the reigning World cup champions at the time. And Norway gets in this what I call a centipede crawl. So imagine you're on all four, like Your hands and your knees and you're crawling. Okay. But you grab the ankles of the person in front of you.

[Abby Wambach]

They're on a train. They're a Centipede crawl train.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. Centipede crawl train. And they start freaking Centipede crawl training around us as they won and singing. And I was like.

What is happening? So we took a picture of that Centipede crawl train, we put it in our locker room, and we made sure to talk about Norway. We call them the Viking bitches.

We made sure to talk about those Viking bitches. Right? To a point where, like, I wouldn't even let. We do World cup teams at. You know, we've done this camp forever where you. For kids soccer camp and locally in Mission.

[Abby Wambach]

I love playing World Cup. It's the best.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. And. And we start the camp by. You're on a World cup team, so you're a country. So you're on United States, you're on England, you're in Germany, you're on Brazil, right? And you're with that team. And at the end of the camp, you play this huge World Cup. I would not. After that happened, we forever did not have Norway as part of our World Cup. At camp. Like, if a Norway sign popped up or there was a NORA team, I'd be like, I'm sorry. You are not Norway. They have been banned from the United nations of Julie fatty soccer camps. And you're out. So no Norway in the camps. So Norway does this crawl, right? Guess who we meet, party people in the semifinals of the Olympics the very next year.

[Jordan Robinson]

Abby, do you remember Norway?

[Julie Foudy]

Norway. Guess who? What happened?

[Abby Wambach]

What happened?

[Julie Foudy]

We were down 10 to them. And because Norway had pissed us off so much with that crawl, we spent an entire year not just being fit and tactically ready and technically ready. We spent an entire year on the mental sign, the little, small fraction that actually takes you over to. To be when the. I'm swearing too much on this. When I get excited about Norway. When the shit hits the fan. Yeah, right. Like, you need that edge now. We're down 1 0. How are you at halftime when you're playing Norway? We're fine. Because we had done the work thanks to them in the last year and Dr. Colleen Hacker. And we get to that halftime of the Olympics and the semifinal, and it was like a different halftime than the year prior. We were like, bring it. We're fine. It's fine. We go back to win that game, beat them 2 to 1, and then beat China in the final to win the Olympics. But my point to you kids and players is do not poke the bear. You don't want to do that. I love that story like that.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Jules, you know that, that, that story reminds me in 1996 when I went to the Olympic training center and we got to tour your guys locker room. We, you saw it, the U16. We saw the picture and it actually made me understand and, and reorganize my thoughts around failure and what that meant. But we did have a moment like that. In 2007. We lost to Brazil in the World cup and it was a. One of the biggest losses. We got knocked out of the tournament. The earliest we'd ever been knocked out.

[Julie Foudy]

In that was the 2007 World cup, right?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. In China. And we're playing against Brazil. And at the time FIFA would house all of the teams in the same hotel in like the semis. And so this was a semifinal game. We lose. And.

When, when our bus arrived back to the hotel, we were meeting our families. We were all devastated, crying the whole thing in the lobby of the hotel. Right. But because we were sharing this hotel with Brazil, they got off of the bus.

And they.

You know those roundabouts in, in hotels where you, those big circular doors that go round and round and round and you like, you almost like get, get cut off by the door. Well, they fit. They saw that we were in the lobby.

And they were beating their drums and they fit the entirety of their whole team inside and just went round and round and round and round and round and round. And I remember.

Christy Rampone, we were sitting there and Riley was super young at the time.

[Julie Foudy]

Her daughter.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. And Riley started, she was like 2 or 3 years old. She was teeny, she was a baby. And Riley started to like clap to the drum beat and. Right. And, and Chrissy like grabbed her arm. She's like, do not clap to this music. And we just sat there and we watched them. And then when you fast forward to that 2008 final, even though I had broken my leg, we were. Who are we playing in, in the final 2008 Olympics, we're playing Brazil. And who comes home with the gold? That's what I'm talking about.

[Julie Foudy]

So sorry. So sorry.

[Jordan Robinson]

Brazil.

[Julie Foudy]

Maybe you should rethink. I'm telling you about celebration. Look, don't do it.

[Abby Wambach]

I, I appreciate, I appreciate celebrating. I think that, that it's an important element of sport. But there is a line where you just don't rub it in the face of the, of the opponents, right?

[Julie Foudy]

No, they're celebrating. And then there's that celebrating, which is like taking it to a whole nother level. Like, be always that line. If you don't know where it is and where to draw it, think about, put yourself in the shoes of the person who's just lost and say, would I take a picture of that? Or pull a quote from that and hang it up in my locker room? Because that is going to come back to bite you. And that's what you know.

[Abby Wambach]

That's a good litmus test. I like that.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. And it's a test in empathy. Right. Which they always say, put yourself in something in someone else's shoes. And this is the last thing I want to bring up in regards to it, to empathy. Because I was reading an article lately, and this is something that I believe wholly in that we should be doing in this country. I know we do some of it in schools, but empathy teaching for young kids, Right. In Denmark, in this article I was reading in other Scandinavian countries. Right. They do all this empathy teaching.

To elementary schools and teach kids about. Okay, if you were in those shoes, how would you feel? If you were treated like that, how would you feel?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Do you want to hear an incredible parenting hack that Glennon taught me? What? So when I first got into the family. So when I first got into the family, kids were 8, 10, and 13, and the girls are the youngest. And so as the girls got older, you know, they would get into, like, you know, sisterly fights, Right? Like, you took my thing and don't come into my room. Like, things like this. Well, there was some sort of circumstance that happened. They were really upset at each other. And we heard them yelling. And so we went upstairs and we saw them. We're like, okay. And Glennon pulls this, like, jujitsu move on them. And she said, okay, Tish, what I want you to do is I want you to tell me what happened, but through Emma's perspective.

And then she says. And then after. After she's done, then. Then you. Then, Emma, you will have to tell me what happened. But through Tish's perspective. And it was like. And so the whole time, they're, like, totally sour facing it. And they were like, well, she would say that maybe I did. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know? And it's like. It's this thing that cuts right through. Through and allows.

[Julie Foudy]

So good.

[Abby Wambach]

Allows to teach the mindset of others.

[Julie Foudy]

Ah, okay. So we've got that solved. Yeah, let's do empathy teaching.

[Abby Wambach]

We fixed it.

[Julie Foudy]

We figure that. We fixed it. It's so easy.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

I would like to. To do more research, and maybe people can write into us teachers out there who are listening to this of why that's not mandatory. Because as divisive as life is right now, I just feel like we should be starting with the kids and teaching them empathy, and then maybe as they grow into teenagers and adults, that there's not as much divisiveness because of that empathy training.

Okay.

We will do more of these because I think this youth sports space is something that Abby and I feel very strongly about. We've lived, we've seen that it's messy. It's the difficult to navigate. We are not blaming parents. There is a lot that you have to navigate, but it's also just important reminders for adults. Right. On how we show up. I think that's. And what model we're teaching our kids, I think that's a constant reminder we want to put out there and there. If you're also looking for videos or examples, there's so many out there. We've done a little digging on this. Asia, our producer, has done some fantastic digging on this, and I think we've even gotten approval to show some of.

[Abby Wambach]

Of those.

[Julie Foudy]

So we're going to have those in the show notes, and they will literally bring you to tears. So go to the show notes. I mean, for one, I'll give you a couple examples. So just so. So you know. So here's one example, Abby. There were these two Italian fencers in this Italian under 23, meaning youth under 23 fencing championship. This happened in 2023. Tri D and Rosati were the two that were competing against each other.

[Jordan Robinson]

Okay.

[Julie Foudy]

And with 17 seconds left, Tri Dee, she's up 12 to 9, but she badly injures her ankle. And there's 17 seconds left. Right. Rosatti, who's competing against her, could have been like, oh, this is my chance to pounce. She's hurt. She's wounded. Let me go in these last 17 seconds. Instead, Rosati chose to let the clock expire so her rival could win.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

With 17 seconds left, the crowd gave a standing ovation, and the two embraced in tears. And Rosati, who chose to let the clock run down, knowing that her. Her opponent, who was winning, couldn't compete later, received this amazing award for her sportsmanship. And the key quote in all this friendship is worth more than a victory. That's what Trinidi said.

Yeah. What about you? Do you have a favorite, like, video or anything like that?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, I think that there's another one that I wanted to Talk about. In February 20, 2023, Grandview University softball player Caitlin Moses, she hits a grand slam, but was injured while running the bases. Specifically after rounding first base in an act of, I think, except exceptional sportsmanship. Players from the opposing team, Southeastern University, they carried her around the remaining bases so that she could score her run.

[Julie Foudy]

That is insane. I remember that video of them carrying her, and I was like, what is this? Yeah. What is happening?

[Abby Wambach]

Like, you know, I often sometimes think with. With these kind of sportsmanship moments.

In the world that we live in, we haven't been trained. We've been trained to prioritize winning. Like I said during this episode, not the sportsmanship piece. And we need to flip it because. Because it is a little bit more difficult for if you are only trained in the winning piece, it is really hard to even understand what. What. What it feels like and what it looks like to be a good sport. Because if you. If you then allow the other team to score, run, or to win a match or whatever it might be, then you then in some ways have to deprioritize the winning piece in order to be a good, A good person and a good teammate and a good sportsman or sportswoman. And so I understand that it's hard for a lot of us to make that shift or to make that change, but it is possible. It's not an easy choice to be like, ooh, because guess what? Yeah, we all want to win. We're competitors. But at what cost? We have to ask ourselves.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. And it's like this, the purest form of instinctive humanity.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

Like, take care of people.

[Abby Wambach]

That's right. That's right.

[Julie Foudy]

Pretty basic.

[Abby Wambach]

That's right.

[Julie Foudy]

That's. That. That should be the overriding thought. Always take care of people. Okay, party people. Don't forget to subscribe to the welcome to the party YouTube channel so you can actually watch the party. Don't forget to click that little bell icon so that they tell you when updates come and go live. So please do that.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. We also want to continue getting as many comments from you as possible. It's our favorite thing to do. We read them almost every single day. Julie and I and Billy, if you just take a minute of your time, we would appreciate it. Leave a comment subscribe wherever you get podcasts on Apple, Podcasts, Spotify, be sure to follow us on Tick Tock and Instagram. Welcome to the Party show at welcome to the Party show where Billy, Julie and I will come straight to your feedback.

[Jordan Robinson]

Jules.

[Abby Wambach]

I also think that the party people should start emailing us some questions.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. Email.

[Julie Foudy]

Yes. We haven't given that in a while. No.

[Abby Wambach]

So the email is party people, questionsmail.com. put it in your contacts. Yeah. Do it now. Party people questions, gmail.com. we read every single one that comes in. So send us your questions. We will continue to do Power to the Party People episodes along the way here, and it's just, like, really fun for us to hear straight from you all so that we can answer all of your questions directly.

[Julie Foudy]

Give the power to the party people.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

Shout out. Kate Diaz. Kate Diaz, our friend who wrote and composed our theme music. We love her, as I know y' all do. Okay, bring it in, party people.

[Abby Wambach]

Let's go.

[Julie Foudy]

Bring it in, Abigail.

[Abby Wambach]

Let's go.

[Julie Foudy]

On three. One, two, three.

[Abby Wambach]

Welcome to the Party is an independent production brought to you by Treat Media. Treat Media makes art for humans who want to stay human. Silvertribe is our production partner, and you can also watch our full conversations on the welcome to the party YouTube channel and follow us at welcome to the Party show on Instagram and TikTok.