Welcome to the Party

Episode: The Best Life Lessons You’ll Ever Learn with Dr. Colleen Hacker

Release Date: January 1, 2026

Host: Treat Media (Abby Wambach, Julie Foudy, with special tribute by Billie Jean King)
Guest: Dr. Colleen “Flash” Hacker

Episode Overview

Kicking off 2026, soccer legends Abby Wambach and Julie Foudy, along with iconic guest Dr. Colleen "Flash" Hacker, dive deep into conquering adulthood, the transition from elite athletics to everyday life, managing anxiety, navigating parenting in a gendered world, and fostering motivation. Dr. Hacker, a renowned mental skills coach, shares her wisdom gleaned over decades at the top of sport and performance psychology—offering practical tips, memorable metaphors, and transformative life lessons relevant far beyond the pitch. Special sentiments are shared from Billie Jean King, making this episode an empowering masterclass on thriving through change, self-compassion, and intentional living.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Role Models & Before/After Moments (06:16 – 08:13)

• Dr. Hacker recounts the seismic impact the Billie Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs "Battle of the Sexes" had on her as a high schooler.
  • “I went to school the next day a different human being. That line in the sand for me was the line in the sand. No hyperbole. She changed the course of my life of possibilities. And more importantly, that match gave me hope and permission.” – Dr. Colleen Hacker [07:17]
  • Theme: The transformative power of seeing someone break barriers and how it shapes your view of yourself and your possibilities.

2. Transitioning from Elite Athlete to 'Normal' Adulthood (11:03 – 14:40)

• Abby explains her struggle with leaving behind the measurable wins of athletics.
  • “How do you win if there’s no scoreboard and the game is never over?” – Abby Wambach [11:00]
• Dr. Hacker explains:

  • The rewarding metrics and dopamine hits of sport disappear in daily adult life.

  • You must hunt for your own wins and recognize successes, however small.

  • Accepting that “finishing” in the way athletes are used to is not available in typical adulthood.

  • “Dopamine bathing our brains in dopamine is real. When athletes retire, it’s like everything seems stupid and boring and pointless... It’s hard to get these dopamine hits that scoring headers provides or winning a World Cup provides." – Dr. Colleen Hacker [13:15]

Skeeball vs. Juggling Metaphor (14:40 – 16:15)

• Dr. Hacker recommends not trying to juggle a million things at once (it’s endless); treat each new challenge like a new skeeball: one at a time, focus on the moment, and then roll the next.
  • “Be where your feet are. Do now, well. Worrying about what you should have been doing, what’s coming up, it siphons off our best performance right now.” – Dr. Colleen Hacker [15:39]

3. Rewiring Self-Worth & Productivity (16:16 – 18:45)

• Abby shares her journey in shifting her basis of self-esteem from physical output and suffering to more diverse, internal measures.
  • “I don’t want to be in a position of needing to suffer in order to feel good.” – Abby Wambach [17:00]
• Celebrate small and big wins—take deliberate moments (even 10 seconds!) to let those feelings of success sink in.
  • “Accepting adulthood on adulthood’s terms is the more difficult task for me to do, I think.” – Abby Wambach [18:33]
• Dr. Hacker underscores the need for intentional resets and being an active agent in your own evolution.

4. Movement, Purpose, and Wellbeing (21:42 – 22:21)

• Physical engagement isn’t just for athletes—purposeful movement is key for everyone’s wellbeing.
  • “I want purposeful movement to the extent that people are capable of for everyone on planet Earth... The more sedentary we are, the more we lack fulfillment, accomplishment, agency, and meaning.” – Dr. Colleen Hacker [21:42]

5. Performance Anxiety & the Gift of 'Butterflies' (23:47 – 24:59)

• Julie recounts Dr. Hacker's advice reframing pre-game “butterflies” as a sign of importance, not as a threat.
  • “Do not ever wish the butterflies to leave... You get the butterflies because what you’re doing matters.” – Dr. Colleen Hacker (via Julie Foudy) [23:54]
  • "Never wish the butterflies away. Just teach them to fly in formation.” – Dr. Hacker (shared by Julie) [23:55]
• Rubber Band Snap Technique: Using a physical cue (snapping a hairband) to interrupt negative spirals and refocus with a positive replacement thought.
  • “You control that... And it could be pulling up your socks or, you know, tugging on your sleeve or fixing your ponytail.” – Julie Foudy [24:27]
• The lesson: Pressure is a privilege—if you never feel nerves, what you’re doing may not matter.

6. Parenting, Gender, and Motivation (26:20 – 54:10)

a. Nature, Nurture, and Gendered Expectations (29:16 – 38:01)

• Dr. Hacker explains that differences within genders outweigh those between genders, and warns against projecting your own hopes or baggage onto your children.
• We live in a gendered society; adults start programming gendered expectations before children are born.
  • “We do live in a gendered society. Acting like we don’t is putting your head in the sand.” – Dr. Colleen Hacker [32:02]
  • “We raise our daughters and we love our sons.” – Michelle Obama quote, shared by Abby [37:01]
• Modeling matters as much as what we say.
  • “What we do speaks so loudly, nobody can hear what we’re saying.” – Dr. Colleen Hacker [39:13]

b. Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation (40:13 – 54:10)

• Abby and Julie discuss wrestling with motivating vs. over-coaching their children, especially as former pros.
• Dr. Hacker emphasizes self-determination theory—children need:
  1. Autonomy: Choice and agency over their pursuits.
  2. Mastery: The feeling of developing expertise or competence.
  3. Connectedness: A sense of belonging and being supported.
  • “Everybody can’t be the best on the team, but everyone can be the best for the team.” – Dr. Colleen Hacker [48:53]
• If a child truly loves something, you won’t have to push them—they’ll find ways to pursue it wholeheartedly.
  • “When they love something and it’s from them, nothing will keep them from it... If you’re having to push, seriously, for me, that’s already a red flag.” – Dr. Colleen Hacker [52:08]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the power of BJK’s victory:

  • "I went to school the next day a different human being." – Dr. Colleen Hacker [07:17]

• On adulting and crossing things off the list:

  • "Let me be a spoiler alert. Every night that the three of us go to bed, there is more work to be done. Like, that’s not a thing. Like, let go of that." – Dr. Colleen Hacker [13:10]

• On the importance of movement:

  • "The more sedentary we are in thought and action, I think it’s related to lack of a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment and agency and meaning." – Dr. Colleen Hacker [21:51]

• On reframing nerves:

  • "Never wish the butterflies away. Just teach them to fly in formation." – Dr. Colleen Hacker (as recalled by Julie) [23:55]

• On motivation:

  • "If you’re having to push [your children], seriously, for me, that’s already a red flag." – Dr. Colleen Hacker [53:23]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [06:16 – 08:13]: Billie Jean King story and the power of role models
• [11:03 – 14:40]: Transitioning from athlete to “civilian” & finding new metrics for success
• [15:39]: Skeeball metaphor for managing tasks and focus
• [17:00 – 18:33]: Resetting self-worth and celebrating small wins
• [21:42]: Arguments for movement and active agency
• [23:47 – 24:59]: The “butterflies” mental technique—positive reframing and physical cues
• [29:16 – 32:06]: Gender socialization and unique family/parenting dynamics
• [39:13]: “What we do speaks so loudly, nobody can hear what we're saying.” Modeling values in parenting
• [43:11 – 55:07]: Deep dive into motivation, pushing kids, self-determination theory (autonomy, mastery, connectedness)

Tone & Show Highlights

• Warm, candid, inspirational, and often peppered with humor, the episode feels like an empowering team huddle.
• Memorable storytelling, particularly Dr. Hacker’s analogies (skeeball, the clarinet story) and practical advice.
• Honest vulnerability from Abby and Julie, modeling the courage to be in-process and open to learning.

Final Takeaways

• Adulthood may lack the clear wins of elite sport, but joy and pride are accessible through intentional presence, movement, and self-recognition.
• Nerves are a sign of meaning—don’t wish them away, but manage them with intention.
• In parenting, nurture autonomy, help kids find their mastery, and foster a sense of belonging.
• Real success and fulfillment come through ongoing self-discovery—celebrate small wins, stay in motion, and let each metaphorical skeeball roll in its own right.

Mic Drop Wisdom:
"You have a part to play in your life and you actively engage in resetting. How few people reset?" – Dr. Colleen Hacker [18:58]

"Teach the butterflies to fly in formation." – Dr. Colleen Hacker (shared by Julie) [23:55]

Next Episode Teaser:
Julie and Abby tease future appearances, including a full episode with Billie Jean King herself—don’t miss it!