The Hardest Part of Parenting No One Talks About

Summary

Podcast Summary: Welcome to the Party

Episode: The Hardest Part of Parenting No One Talks About
Date: May 19, 2026
Hosts: Abby Wambach, Julie Foudy, Billie Jean King
Mission: Building a fun, insightful space that elevates women’s sports and the people fueling them—on and off the field.

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Overview

This episode digs into the complexities and quiet challenges of parenting, especially the aspects people rarely discuss. Soccer legends Abby Wambach and Julie Foudy, joined by the iconic Billie Jean King, blend humor, warmth, and honesty as they explore what it really means to “mother”—whether or not you’re a biological parent. Using clips from BetterHelp's “Motherhood With You” series, the conversation expands on nontraditional mothering, the emotional labor of parenting as kids grow up, and the lifelong tension between support, letting go, and personal identity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Redefining Motherhood as Energy and Action

• Mothering Beyond Biology
  • Abby introduces a quote from her wife, Glennon:

    “I don't think mother is an identity that you are or you aren’t, but that it's more of an energy that you release or you don't. I think we can be mothered by anyone, and I think we can mother anyone.”
    (Abby Wambach quoting Glennon, 02:22)

  • Julie describes Billie Jean King as the “ultimate mother” not only to her, but countless athletes, emphasizing mentorship and emotional support over biological ties (02:54).
  • Abby and Julie playfully dub Billie Jean King “the Fairy Godmother of Women’s Sports” (03:45), appreciating her unique brand of care, encouragement, and connection.

Mentorship, Leadership, and Care

• Billie Jean King reflects on the importance of passing on wisdom across generations:

  “If we forget to do that, we’re making a big mistake, because you never, ever know—things can go backwards really quickly.”
  (Billie Jean King, 04:40)

• She draws a parallel between leadership and mothering: personal attention, connection, and love are essential in both (05:31).

Stepparenting and Nontraditional Family Roles

• Abby discusses her journey as an “instant mom” to Glennon’s three kids, describing herself as a “bonus parent” and rejecting the negative connotations of “stepparent” (07:43).
• She shares the deeply touching moment she first felt truly included as “mom” by her partner’s children:

  “I overheard one of them say, like, 'Oh, my mom’s,' and my heart just exploded into a billion Care Bear rainbow stars.”
  (Abby, 08:00)

The Emotional Tension of Letting Go

• A clip from BetterHelp (“Motherhood With You”) sparks discussion around the hardest parts of parenting: knowing when to support, when to step back, and trusting children to solve their own problems (11:55).
• Abby introduces the idea of “pendulum parenting”:

  “Sometimes what we didn’t get when we were younger from our parents, we swing the pendulum so far to the other side that we overcompensate… We have to be very careful.”
  (Abby, 13:39)

Daily Challenges of “Back Off” Parenting

• Julie shares anecdotes about her daughter learning the ropes of adulthood, such as checking in for flights:

  “Why are we checking her in? She’s 19 years old… I actually got kicked off a flight the other day because I forgot to check in. I cannot be checking my kid in!”
  (Julie, 14:46)

• Billie Jean provides comic relief by comparing this phase to elderly parents eventually needing more help from adult children, highlighting how family roles shift full circle (16:02).

Trust is the Hardest Part

• Julie:

  “The hardest thing for parents nowadays is that trust factor… If we do not trust him to do this, we’re never going to know that he can do this. You have to trust it’s going to be okay. And guess what? If they can’t do it, it’s a learning lesson.”
  (Julie, 17:53)

• Abby highlights that trust is how children learn to trust themselves:

  “The goal of parents is to instill trust in your child so that they trust themselves… It’s truly one of the hardest parts of parenting at this point.”
  (Abby, 19:12)

Parenting Children with Special Needs & Unique Family Structures

• Billie Jean shares her experience helping to raise a 12-year-old nephew with dyslexia.
  • She underscores that every family faces unique challenges and the critical need for time, patience, and adaptability (16:18).

The Transition to Empty Nesting

• The hosts explore the emotional complexities of children leaving home.
  • Julie and Abby discuss preparing for the identity shift and the “remoteness” that comes when parenting shifts from daily care to distant support (25:14).
  • Abby plans to proactively fill this gap with new hobbies (golf, harmonica, guitar, surfing) and engage in therapy and life coaching alongside her wife, Glennon (25:14).
  • Julie notes the value (and mixed feelings) in a quieter house, and the importance of genuinely celebrating kids’ independence rather than clinging to them (26:27).

The Lifelong Role of Mothering and Self-Care

• Throughout, the conversation underscores the necessity of self-work:

  “It’s really important as a person who is a big proponent of therapy to work your stuff out on your own. Because a lot of times we just project so much onto our kids.”
  (Abby, 29:00)

• The hosts urge the importance of finding personal anchors and maintaining support systems as family life evolves—and of redefining “mothering” beyond the parenting years.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Mother is not an identity, but an energy.” (Abby quoting Glennon, 02:22)
• “You really have mothered us in such incredible ways… the fairy godmother of women’s sports.” (Abby, 03:45)
• “Leadership is close to mothering in a way… Every single player was important to me.” (Billie Jean King, 05:31)
• “I became like an instant mom…how the hell was I gonna do this?” (Abby, 07:07)
• “My heart just exploded into a billion Care Bear rainbow stars.” (Abby, 08:00)
• “Pendulum parenting…we swing so far to the other side.” (Abby, 13:39)
• “If we do not trust them to do this, we’re never going to know they can do this. You have to back the heck off.” (Julie, 17:53)
• “Your goal as a parent is to help your child trust themselves—by trusting them.” (Abby, 19:12)
• “You want them to soar…The thing I didn’t quite anticipate is how quiet the house would feel.” (Julie, 26:41)
• “We just project so much onto our kids… I spend almost the entire time in therapy discussing how I'm going to show up for our kids.” (Abby, 29:00)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

| Time | Segment / Topic | |-----------|--------------------------------------------| | 02:22 | Quote on mothering as energy (Glennon) | | 03:45 | Billie Jean King as “fairy godmother” | | 05:31 | Leadership and mothering | | 07:07 | Abby’s journey as “bonus parent” | | 08:00 | Emotional moment of acceptance as mom | | 11:55 | BetterHelp video clip—enabling vs support | | 13:39 | Pendulum parenting & solving problems | | 14:46 | Daily struggles with letting go | | 16:02 | Billie reflects on family cycles | | 17:53 | The challenge of trust in parenting | | 19:12 | Fostering self-trust in children | | 25:14 | Abby plans for empty nest & rebuilding identity | | 26:41 | Julie on house’s emotional emptiness | | 29:00 | Therapy for parents & projecting onto kids | | 31:06+ | Light-hearted close: hats, energy & fun |

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Tone & Feel

True to the “party” brand, the conversation is frank but full of affection, self-deprecating humor, and lively banter. Vulnerability and generosity underlie the stories, and the trio’s deep respect for each other and their listeners shines throughout.

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Takeaways

• Mothering is an action and an energy, available to all—across families, teams, and communities.
• Trusting children to fail, learn, and fly solo is excruciating—but necessary.
• Self-reflection and therapy are invaluable for parents and “mothers” of all kinds.
• The identity of parent continually evolves, and tending to your own growth is crucial as family dynamics change.
• Mentorship, leadership, and mothering share a common core: attentive, active, generative love.

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Listeners will walk away affirmed, amused, and uplifted—with new language and courage to face the silent struggles (and joys) of parenting, mentoring, and growing through life’s next transition.

Transcript

[Abby Wambach]

Thank you to Better Help for sponsoring this episode.

[Julie Foudy]

Abby said, who has mothered you over the years? And I said, well, you know who I'm gonna say? King? Her. I mean, think about that day where you were like, fowdy, what are you doing about it? Foudy will do this.

[Abby Wambach]

Every time I overheard one of them say, like, oh, my mom's, and my heart just exploded into a billion Care Bear rainbow stars. Attention. The party is about to commence.

[Julie Foudy]

Welcome to the party. What's up, party people? I'm Julie Foudy.

[Abby Wambach]

And I'm Abby Wambach.

[Billie Jean King]

And I'm Billie Jean King.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, you guys.

[Billie Jean King]

So Billy Kinger. Kinger.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. Yes. Good. You're calling yourself Kinger.

[Billie Jean King]

I'm starting to call myself. It's all Julie's fault. Julie's your fault.

[Julie Foudy]

I am the Kinger Kinger.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay. I know that you saw that we had Az Fudd and Katie Fudd on our Mother's Day episode, and we have gotten so much amazing feedback from that episode around mothers, daughters, act athletes, and. And so it got us thinking about how we can continue to highlight and talk more about all of our individual approaches and energies towards motherhood and. And some of the things that we deal with around that. So we reached out to Better Help because I have seen these incredible videos that they do online because I'm always trying to become the better, better parent and. And become a better version myself. And Better Help has these awesome videos online that have really helped me going into this next next phase of empty nesting. So we are more than thrilled that they said yes, because they. That this episode is. Is. Thank you, Better Help. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. They loved our idea. We pitched this to them. And so. And if you're interested in therapy and learning more, go to betterhelp.com welcome to the party. And also remember what Glennon said during our.

[Julie Foudy]

This is so good.

[Abby Wambach]

He listened to this quote by my wife, Glennon Kinger. She said, I don't think mother is an identity that you are or you aren't, but that it's more of an energy that you release or you don't. And she also then said, I think we can be mothered by anyone, and I think think we can mother anyone. Now, Kinger, this really makes me think of you and how you have mothered both Julie and I over the years. Jules, do you want to talk a little bit more about that?

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. Because literally Kinger Abs was like, who has? Because I said, oh, my God, I love this so much. This mothering idea of, like, it just being an energy. And Abby said, who has mothered you over the years? And I said, well, you know who I'm gonna say? Kinger. King has been my mother over the years in terms of. Yes. Mentorship and guidance. And I mean, think about that day where you were like, f. What are you doing about it? The perfect.

[Billie Jean King]

Every time.

[Julie Foudy]

Well, because Kinger, then you followed up every two weeks being like, hey, how can I help? I'm here for you. Here's what we did. I mean, that, to me, is like, the ultimate source of taking care of people, of mothering. So you have done that for so many different athletes and so many different sports for so many different years, and that's it.

[Billie Jean King]

Thank you. That's very.

[Abby Wambach]

And I think that we call you behind your back. I hope it's okay. The fairy godmother of women's sports. The fairy godmother. The fairy women sports godmother. Like, you decide which phrase you like. Just because you really have mothered us in such incredible ways, you know, my children and their children, they will know your name. And so I just want you to know that even though that mothering just comes in all forms, and I think that having never had a biological child myself, I can relate in many ways to probably in some ways, not many ways into some ways, that how Billy might feel. How can this conversation relate to me? It relates to you. It really does. You've mothered us so well, Billy. Thank you.

[Billie Jean King]

Well, thank you for those kind words. I. Wow. I have to go. I have to go process, as we say in therapy. I'll get back to you on that, though. But those are fantastic words. I'm glad I could help a little. You know, it's passing the baton down generation to generation, really what it's about. And if we forget to do that, we're making a big mistake, because you never, ever know things can go backwards really quickly.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, they really can. And I.

[Julie Foudy]

That's a good way of thinking of it, too. Right. It's like, how do you. As you always said to us, like, it's not about you. What do you want to do for the next generation? Is how you framed it to us, which made me then think that way, and then we've. I've passed that now.

[Billie Jean King]

You've mothered everybody.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah, well. But. Yeah, you have that guidance.

[Billie Jean King]

But leadership is close to mothering in a way. If you're close to, like, close to the athletes. It's not like we're running politics. It's Very. I mean, every single player was important to me, and I knew every single player because I would sit with them and talk to them and connect. There's nothing like connecting with another human being. It really helps all of us have more energy, more just more blessings. It works. It really adds up to have to do good in life. No. I wore this blouse today because my mother loved pink. So I put my pink glasses on and my pink blouse in honor of my mother because she was such a great mother. I got very lucky with both parents, and a lot of children do not. A lot of kids do not have two parents. They don't have a parent. They have caregivers. They have grandparents. Everybody has a different person in their life to mother them, like Glennon says about the energy. And teachers are a lot like that. If they're good coaches.

[Julie Foudy]

Absolutely. Coaches.

[Billie Jean King]

All the coaches. Oh, my gosh. We didn't have coaches in my day. We didn't have any money, so we couldn't pay them. But you guys at least had coaches. And I think the great ones are kind. There's a kindness and a love in them, even if they don't always show it. Sometimes they let it rip, and it sounds so tough, but it's really love that they're showing the players, don't you think? Really?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Billie Jean King]

You know which ones?

[Abby Wambach]

I do think. And also, it reminds me, like, I wonder often wonder how, because I.

[Billie Jean King]

You.

[Abby Wambach]

You three know this, but when I met Glennon, she had three children, and so there was a big part of me that became like, an instant mom. And how the hell was I gonna do this? Like, I. I didn't have, like, the slow process of, like, having a little infant and then slowly figuring that one out, and then you have another, like Glenn and their dad Craig did.

[Billie Jean King]

It was just like, you didn't have any practice yet, did you?

[Abby Wambach]

Exactly. It was instinct.

[Billie Jean King]

Can you imagine how bad we would be in our sport if we hadn't had practice?

[Abby Wambach]

Or how.

[Julie Foudy]

It's so terrifying, right? It's like.

[Abby Wambach]

And to come in as, like, the bonus parent we call step parents. I just don't like the word step parent. It's like there's such a negative connotation to it in some ways. So we call it bonus parent. And I'll never forget, because being a mom, stepparent, or bonus parent, you are all love out, right? And you have no expectation of them coming close to you and want to cuddle with you. They're doing that with Glennon. They're touching Glennon a little bit more. And so I just remember those early days when, when one of them, I overheard one of them say, like, oh, my mom's. And my heart just exploded into a billion Care Bear rainbow stars, you know, like, it was. And my whole body went kind of like, numb. And Glennon looked at me because we were both upstairs. She's like, did you hear that? And I was like, yes. And then the other thing, and this will be the last bit, but the other thing that blew my mind because I came in late to the game. We were going through kind of some memory, like we were having a nostalgic moment around the table and we were like talking about our favorite memories and we had gone long enough as a family that I made it into the memory bank of my child where they were reaching back, like, oh, remember that one time when we went to Hawaii or we went to this place and it was a memory that I was in. Like, I made their memory bank, which was. That was also mind blowing.

[Julie Foudy]

That is cute. That is so awesome.

[Abby Wambach]

Thank you to Better Help for sponsoring this episode. Honestly, this has been one of the my favorite episodes that we've done because I, I love and I'm fascinated about motherhood and reflecting on motherhood. And given that Mother's Day has just happened, we want to just take a moment to highlight some other initiatives Better Help is taking this month to honor mothers now building on its partnership with the professional women's basketball teams, the Dallas Wings, Las Vegas Aces and the New York Liberty, BetterHelp will donate 10 hours of therapy for every assist made throughout May with a goal of 5,000 hours. Get. Yeah. Isn't that amazing? Transforming, it's going to transform on the court teamwork into real support for mothers nationwide. And if you think therapy might be for you or if you are interested in exploring therapy, Better Help is a great option. Y' all learn [e-mail] Motherhood with you. That's better. H E L P.com Motherhood with you.

[Julie Foudy]

King or I don't know if you saw it, but on on Mother's Day, Better Help launched Motherhood with you, an educational YouTube series bringing and this is important because it, it is hard. It can be terrifying. All the things there's a ton of joy. But it also in, in whoever you're mothering, if it's kids or if it's players or if it's students in all different forms, it can be hard as we know. So what Better Help is doing is they launched this educational YouTube series bringing honest, real life therapy conversations about motherhood to the forefront. And it's hosted by a licensed therapist named Sunny Williams, who's fantastic. And. And the series explores different stages of motherhood and how therapy help women navigate the challenge and the challenges that come with each chapter. And they do it through roundtables and one on one discussions focused on support and reflection and connection. And I know Abs, you've watched a lot of these as well already, which is awesome. Fantastic. But a lot of it is also rediscovering yourself along the way. So we're going to play you actually a clip from, from that second episode. Listen in.

[Jody]

Sometimes I don't know if I am properly supporting or potentially enabling my kids. Three, two, one.

[Sunny Williams]

It's both, it's both. I think that's part of the challenge of parenting as a whole. Right. You especially as me as a mom that. Oh, you're having trouble with that.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, let me just for you.

[Abby Wambach]

He's 22.

[Sunny Williams]

I don't really need to do anything for him. And yet I put my foot down at times and I go, no, figure it out. I'm love from Brooklyn, New York and I have a 22 year old son, Adonis. I'm finding that there are so many spaces where if I just let go and watch and trust that if he needs me, he'll let me know.

[Jody]

Exactly. You said that trust piece. You have to trust. All right. I've done the things and now I have to let go a little bit.

[Sunny Williams]

It's not about what I want, it's about what he wants and what he needs.

[Abby Wambach]

Ok. Yeah.

[Billie Jean King]

Watch this tape. It's great. By the way. I suggest everybody watch it. It's really good.

[Abby Wambach]

Look that I help him often in conversation with Glennon about how we approach certain situations with our kids. Right. Prior to actually going to them or engaging with them. We call, we actually call it a huddle up. You want to huddle up? That's good. Totally. Yeah. Steal it. Just steal it.

[Billie Jean King]

Such a jock. Get them on huddle up.

[Abby Wambach]

And one of the, one of the themes that almost always comes up for us when we do these huddle ups is this dilemma, this exact dilemma around are we stepping in too much or are we and are we enabling our kids? Like what is the balance? Because you know, we're very. I'm a problem solver, right. And so it's actually something I'm working on in my own therapy to not solve every problem for my family because they actually have to develop not just the skill but the self esteem that you get from developing the skill of problem solving and managing your own life. Right. And so this really made me take a step back and think about the. Also the idea of pendulum parenting, which is what Glennon and I talk a lot about, that sometimes what we didn't get when we were younger from our parents, we swing the pendulum so far to the other side that we hype over compensate. Right. And. And. And we have to be very careful. So I love this video that really brought this to the forefront for me. Jules, what about you and balancing parenting?

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. This is a constant, literally, daily conversation in our house of. Because we're at this really interesting phase, too, that they're 17 and 19, and so they're kind of transitioning. Obviously, Izzy, who's off to college, is transition. Transitioning into being a full grown ass adult. Right. Like, you got. You got to do these things. We're not there. We're not even in the same town, so how can we do these? So there's a lot of those conversations. For example, when she's flying home, she didn't have the Alaska airline app. Right. So we've always got to check her in. And I was like, why are we checking her in? She's 19 years old. Like, I don't need to be checking my kid in when I don't have the time to even check myself into a flight. I actually got kicked off a flight the other day because I forgot to check it. And I was like, I cannot. I was like, ian, I cannot do this. I cannot be checking her in off of this app, and you should not be either. So we made her. And for the first time ever, Izzy, I actually said, oh, my God. I think our kids just checked herself in. And now she's learning how to actually check her bag in. And, like. But it's all on her phone, and she's doing it. I was like, progr.

[Abby Wambach]

Good job.

[Billie Jean King]

I have news for you. When you get older, like in your 80s, people start to do it for you again. Check you in. So it's usually. Usually good for babies or young. Young is really. It's the same when you get old. It's hilarious. You're saying that. I say, I go, lana, why are you doing all this for me? She doesn't say a word. But I know why. Like, you're too slow. You're. Oh, she. No, I should never say that. But I'm telling you, it is so similar to the young people's story. It's also the old. When you're at the other total full circle, it's Hilarious. So when you're saying all that, I go, oh my God, do I tell people or not? Maybe I won't. Maybe I will. So funny. Okay, I will, you know, and then, you know, Ilana and I had this 12 year old. He was a nephew of ours through Larry, my former husband. And we had him, he lived with us for almost two years. And he had special needs, though he was dyslexic, which no one ever took care of. Couldn't read, couldn't write because of it. He had all these challenges. So that created a whole nother layer because we work a lot, we work really hard. Now we got to find time for him, you know, you got to find time. Time is absolutely vital. Thank God he loved tennis. I don't know where he even learned it, but he would, Lana would hit with him all the time. I'd hit with him, take him out to the US Open on the subway. Great trip. But we had to figure it out because I said, oh, Shane, if somebody calls and if we're not here, just take down a message. Well, you should have seen this message. He couldn't write, didn't know numbers. And then so we got him tested. So there's certain challenges also with every family because I've talked to people who have kids that really need special help. I mean, really help.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Billie Jean King]

And so you gotta. Where do you find the time, the patience, all those things. So.

[Julie Foudy]

And I think the hardest thing for parents nowadays is that trust factor that they talked about in the clip.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Julie Foudy]

Which is so key. Right. And I, and again, I have this conversation all the time with my husband of, like, if we do not trust him to do this, we're never going to know that he can do this. Right. And so you have to trust that it's going to be okay, even. And guess what? If they can't do it, it's a learning lesson on how to do it. You cannot learn it unless you fail at times. And so as, as much as you want with the best of intentions to jump in and do the thing because it's faster, it's easier, whatever. Like, for the long term success of your kid, you have to back the heck off. Like, back off. I guess I'm always saying, like, nope, nope, he's fine. Nope, we're backing off, we're backing off. And it can be hard to do because you're, you want to be there. Right. Like, make everything smooth, make it okay. But our parents certainly were there. My, my parents were like, I mean, and I say that in the best of way. They're amazing. But it was like, okay, just be back by, by, you know, dark, because that's when we're eating. And they didn't know where the hell I was, what I was doing, and I turned out okay, I guess so.

[Billie Jean King]

Well, they showed that they trusted you, which is good.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah, they did.

[Billie Jean King]

Well, it's true. Because if they don't trust you, that's not good.

[Abby Wambach]

I think that the goal of the parents is to instill trust in your child so that they trust themselves. And the way that they get that feeling of knowing that they can trust themselves is if you in fact trust them. So it's a very, it's hard, it's a very hard thing because you're sending your kid out with another 17 year old to drive in a car. It's literally like, it's a, it's, it's, it's matter of factly dangerous in some ways to send a young person whose prefrontal cortex is not fully developed and put them in and your child is sitting in the passenger seat. It feels that there is, it feels dangerous. But we have to trust that they can take care of themselves. And it is, it is truly one of the hardest parts of parenting at this point because we're also in this very similar stage where you're like, I've been doing a lot and now it's time for them to pick up the slack.

[Julie Foudy]

My son last night literally said to me as we were all out for Mother's Day having dinner, he said, mom, I don't think you've ever yelled, yelled at me. I said, oh, I've yelled at you, I've yelled at you. I said, you remember the time like the room was a mess and we had people coming over and there was all these guests that were going to be staying in your room. And I like, I literally like grabbed all his clothes and I threw him down over the banister upstairs. And they're just like. And he's like, mom's losing it, dad. And I said, you remember that time? And he goes, oh, yeah, maybe that one time. But honestly, like, you're pretty chill. And I go, I know, because I trust you. Like, you make good decisions and you then are awarded that trust because you're making good decisions. The moment you stop making good decisions, you're going to see a different side of me, that's for sure. So you're going to see the one who threw your clothes over the banner and lost it. But I think I was like, oh, that's actually nice to hear that. And that I do trust him a ton, and I trust both of them a ton. But that you don't have to constantly be nagging at them all the time, too. That's liberating as well for parents when you actually do trust.

[Abby Wambach]

Thank you to Better Help for sponsoring this episode. I have absolutely loved. I mean, this is the thing that Glennon and I think about almost every single day, all day long is like, what kind of mothers are we? How do we want to show up? And so this, this, this act of reflecting on motherhood has been a real gift. And we want to take a moment also to highlight some other initiatives Better Help is taking this month to honor mothers. Better Help is working with organizations like March of Dimes, Jewels, and it advances maternal and infant health, including support for family members, Navigating the NICU care and Baby to Baby, which provides basic essentials for children and families in need. Now Better Help is donating up to 125,000 hours of therapy across both organizations and and these communities to actually help expand the access to mental health support nationwide. I just love that they're doing this. And if you think therapy might be for you or if you are interested in exploring therapy, do this, y'. All. Better Help is a great option. Learn [e-mail] motherhood with you. That's better. H lp.com/motherhood with you.

[Julie Foudy]

Okay, we have another Better Help Motherhood with you. Clip from. Now, this is episode three of that series that we wanted to talk about as well. Here it is.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay.

[Jody]

I taught my kids to be strong, But I didn't expect to feel so lost when they took flight.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, Jody.

[Jody]

Waiting on you.

[Julie Foudy]

Let's see.

[Jody]

Anya, I'm gonna start with you. Why'd you put no.

[Abby Wambach]

I felt great when I felt like they could fly out on their own and slap their own wings.

[Jody]

Cause the job was done. You did it.

[Abby Wambach]

For the most part, yes.

[Jody]

Why'd you do yes?

[Unidentified Speaker]

Because there are so many other things or unknowns that happen with young people that I wasn't sure if I had prepared them for. There was stuff that I was still trying to figure out myself. It caused me to pause and be like, I'm not sure if they're ready.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Because since Julie and I are heading into our empty nesting years like mine in a few months and Julie next year, I have been kind of obsessed with learning how to manage this time. I'm trying to prepare myself better than I prepared myself from retiring from soccer. I'm seeing it very similarly in terms of the identity that it's given me, in terms of the North Star, the direction, the schedule, the time, all of that. But I also. Right. Have. I have a belief system that not just because I did that, like, the kids will obviously still be in our lives. And I heard recently that it just becomes more remote. You become more of a remote parent, where you're texting and calling on the phone more. But I really wanted to be prepared more than I was with my retirement for soccer because the identity of mother is going to change in some ways. Right. And this idea of the more remoteness feels sad on some level. So what I'm doing is I'm trying to plan on what I'm going to fill the time gaps with. I have applied to become a golf member at a golf course nearby.

[Julie Foudy]

Nice. You're going back.

[Abby Wambach]

Let's go. This is going to be something I do many times a week, which I'm very excited about. And also, Glennon and I are actually going to get, like, a life coach or, like, a couples therapist to really get into the whole thing. Right. So that there is a, um. That if fear starts to creep in, we're gonna have some, like, real positives that I'm gonna focus my energy towards during this. These first few months. And we want to create a build, like a scaffolding around our life. Like, what do I would. Like, what do. What do I like to do? Golf. Okay. I'm gonna learn how to play the harmonica. I'm gonna keep learning how to play the guitar. I'm gonna keep learning how to surf, because I wouldn't call myself a surfer yet. But this. This therapy thing, we are gonna create a, Like, a framework of. Of a. Like. Because this is a new kind of marriage, you know, like, we have to plan for the newness of the difference and the. The less amount of chaos that is gonna be happening on a consistent level.

[Julie Foudy]

Cooking, you know, imagine you not. But, like, how liberating is that you're not gonna have to cook every night like that.

[Abby Wambach]

I know. Maybe we'll just go out more.

[Julie Foudy]

You could be like, king or you're like, eats it. Yeah. I mean, that's the hard thing, too, right? Like, when you have a house full. I think the hardest thing for me is not them leaving because you want them.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

You want them to soar. Right. Like, as that first mom said. Like, I. I love that, like, my kid is off and doing their thing and living in a different place. And. And so that is all fantastic. The thing I didn't quite anticipate because I love people and noise and, and, and energy around that when you, when Izzy's gone and you walk in and Izzy was always around like she was, you know, hey, mom, you want to, you want to go get lunch? You want to, you want to go get an acai bowl? Do you want to, do you want to watch a series? Hey, this Netflix series is on. Like, let's do this. And so it was always like, oh, and that gap was like, what? I would walk by her room, Kinger and I would be like, the first

[Billie Jean King]

five weeks I was like, must be so tough on you guys.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh God, it was terrible. So the thing actually that was helpful for me and if this helps a parent, I don't know if this is actually healthy or not, but my in laws were here from England, Ruthie and Eddie. So they saw her off. So my husband's parents were here and they, when they come, because they come from England and they're getting older, we knew it was going to be probably their last time here in the States. They used to come every summer for like three months. They came for like two months. But they filled their them in the house and the joy that that brought because everyone wanted to see Ruthie and Eddie. Everyone kept coming in and so like the house was still alive and in that sense. And that, that softened that a bit for me. But you absolutely want to celebrate. You know, it's why it kills me when I hear parents say, like, you know, you must stay close or I don't want you going to school in another state or, you know, there's a lot of stories of that, like, how dare you leave this nest and go away. So obviously we want our kids to be able to survive and be healthy individuals apart from us. And that's the best way to learn, I think.

[Abby Wambach]

100%.

[Billie Jean King]

Not easy, you guys. I think location is hard though. When I listen to others all the time. Their children live far from them and this is after they've been out for a while, like 20 years or something. And it's really to try to find time to make sure they see each other.

[Abby Wambach]

I think it's really important as a person who is a big proponent of therapy to work your stuff out on your own. Because a lot of times we just project so much onto our kids, right? And in fact, I spend almost the entire time in my therapy sessions discussing how I'm going to show up for our kids and how I show up as a mother and don't, you know, and don't forget that our definition of motherhood and mother on this show is vast. So I also realize how hard it is to find the, the hour to get into therapy, to be able to find the money and the resources. But I also know it helps so much to understand myself and my kids and like, I talk about them and I, and I, and I work through kind of where they are with a, a trained professional. So I, I hope that these videos and this episode is something that you can take something away from. Truly, if anything we talked about today landed, we have two resources to share. Number one, check out Better Help's Motherhood with you series. This is what the, the, the, the videos and we're talking about today. Wherever you can get your podcast and Better Help is available to any of our listeners who want to learn more about therapy and how we can continue to show up better for ourselves, go to www.betterhelp.com. welcome to the party. It's just been such an important resource that I use and I wanted to share it with our people.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah, great point.

[Billie Jean King]

I love watching it.

[Julie Foudy]

Great point, abs. All right, party people, don't forget to subscribe to the welcome to the party YouTube channel so you can see if Billy's ever going to wear a hat in her.

[Billie Jean King]

I will wear. But I have such a melon head, you know, you guys look great in hats. My head's such a melon head. I always put a hat king. Or then the best part, you don't

[Julie Foudy]

even have to shower. It's amazing. You just throw it on. This is what I love podcasting. I love y'. All. I love you all a lot, but I love most that I can just throw a hat on and not shower.

[Billie Jean King]

You guys are great. Okay.

[Abby Wambach]

Same.

[Billie Jean King]

I might have to. Okay. I might have to start with the Dodgers. Big deal hat or something.

[Abby Wambach]

Winning the World Series twice. Please do.

[Billie Jean King]

There you go. I'll try to find it. I know we have one.

[Abby Wambach]

All right. And if you guys could just take one minute, we would appreciate it if you could rate, leave a comment and subscribe. Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. And be sure to follow us on Instagram, YouTube and wherever you get your socials at. Welcome to the party show where Billy, Julie and I will bring the party straight to your feed. You can also email [e-mail] Nope. Partypeoplequestionsmail.com Shout out to Kate Diaz for our theme music. Bringing in you guys.

[Billie Jean King]

Good luck on that one, everyone.

[Julie Foudy]

USA on three. Wherever you are, party people. Walking your dog, doing the dishes, folding laundry, working, multitasking. Put your pilots in the middle. On three. One, two, three.

[Abby Wambach]

Welcome to the Party is an independent production brought to you by Treat Media. Treat Media makes art for humans who want to stay human. Initial Digital is our production partner, and you can also watch our full conversations on the welcome to the party YouTube channel and follow us at welcome to the Party show on Instagram and TikTok. Thanks for listening.