B (2:44)

You know that it's good when you're going to visit your parents in the retirement community, and you yourself could also be living there. I know.

A (2:52)

Exactly. I can be their neighbor.

B (2:57)

I love pickleball, but it's hard when you play with people who know what the hell they're doing.

A (3:02)

Oh, it's really. And they're good. They're good. Like, if you lift it a little too high, they're like. You will be punished for that.

B (3:13)

Quick question on pickleball. I know we have a lot to get to today, but I just. I really do have a question. Why? And. And come at me, folks, if you disagree. Come at me. Why did they make the sound of the ball. That. Of the. The wiffle ball? What do they call the ball? It's probably something that.

A (3:37)

It's a pickleball ball.

B (3:43)

It's not a. What do they call the. It's not a birdie or. I don't know. What do they used to call. Okay, but, like, it is loud.

A (3:52)

That is the one complaint you get in all the neighborhoods. Right. They try and put those, like, padded walls on the fence. Have you seen this?

B (4:01)

But can we just get a different ball that. That lands the same. That has, like, a different sound? Can we do that? Or is the sound.

A (4:11)

That's Pudel? Have you played Padel?

B (4:14)

Oh, I haven't.

A (4:15)

I. Because our theme of today's episode is burnout in my 50s. My goal, I think this is Darwinism, is to not burn out and. And try every different sport I can. It's so fun.

B (4:30)

Yeah. Well, I mean.

A (4:31)

And that uses a tennis ball. That's why I was thinking of that.

B (4:34)

Oh, they use a tennis ball, huh?

A (4:36)

And it's.

B (4:36)

And it's called Padel, not paddle.

A (4:38)

Well, there is a paddle, but if you're the Europeans, and I'm very European, you know, and South Americans call it Padel. It's fun. It's like a cross between tennis and squash. Like racquetball, because you're bouncing it off walls. Oh, there's glass behind you and on the sides.

B (4:59)

Oh.

A (4:59)

So you bounce it and you have to play off the walls. It's really fun.

B (5:04)

Okay, that's interesting. I'm interested in that. I'm also interested in pickleball. It's just. Jules, the diversity of sport. I. I love. But you feel okay with being not good at something and doing it. I have a problem with that.

A (5:20)

No. Here's the thing. Because we're good athletes. We're naturally good, and so people want to play with you because they know you. Even though you don't have, like, the little angles and the dinks and everything down, you can play.

B (5:33)

Okay.

A (5:33)

I mean, we're good at ball sports because we're athletes, so I like it.

B (5:37)

Yeah.

A (5:38)

Yeah. And you'll get it right away.

B (5:40)

My mobility.

A (5:41)

Yeah. And I love the challenge of, like, okay, yeah, maybe I have, like, the athletic basics down, but, like, I don't have the angles down. I don't know, like an empanelle with the walls and the glass. You know, the touch, the technique. Yeah. Alex in Sirondo are really good at it. Alex Morgan.

B (5:59)

And do they do paddle Padel or they do Padel? Yeah. I think that they invested in that.

A (6:04)

That they have.

B (6:05)

They have company. League thing.

A (6:07)

We played with them in Philadelphia to win the US And. Oh, when Alex was being honored and you had to fly back, I think you had to go home.

B (6:15)

Yeah.

A (6:15)

But we played the next day after the game, and it was so fun.

B (6:19)

Oh, my God.

A (6:20)

Yeah.

B (6:20)

That is so fun.

A (6:21)

Yeah. Really fun. Okay, should we talk about the episode itself? It was kind of tangentially related because of my Darwinism infatuation with trying all things so that I can keep playing and moving.

B (6:37)

What are we talking about today?

A (6:38)

We're talking about burnout.

B (6:39)

Burnout.

A (6:40)

This is a topic that is near and dear to us, and I think it hits a lot of people who have kids who are playing youth sports. We come at it from different angles. Right. We're retired athletes. We're parents with kids who are playing who have gone through that. I don't know how much Emma has gone through that, but it's a constant conversation because it's real. And especially as more kids are specializing in sports, it's just so much harder nowadays to play multiple sports because of the demands on it. That I think this is a really important conversation about how to deal with it.

B (7:21)

Agreed.

A (7:22)

And how to address it. So.

B (7:23)

And also, I don't even think this. This episode is going to be totally only about, like, sports or youth sports in Burnout. I think that there is a lot of overlap here with, like, being burnt out in your job or in life or. You know what I'm saying? So, like, there's a lot. A lot of meat here that we need to impact.

A (7:45)

Yeah. Let's give a little context to the listeners with some youth sports numbers. Can we do that? Just so you get this. This comes from Project Play, which is with the Aspen institute, and roughly 70% of kids are quitting organized sports by age 13. Think about that.

B (8:07)

That is so upsetting.

A (8:09)

Yeah. Cited as one of the top reasons is. Wait for it. Burnout. Right. Alongside the pressure that comes with it, the lack of fun. I think all of those are related to, um, and I think it's important that we make the distinction ABs off the top, that, like, burnout isn't laziness. Burnout isn't a lack of toughness. Burnout is not failure. Right. I just want to be clear about all of that. It doesn't mean you don't love the sport, but the reality is, is that there are a lot of young athletes that feel it. So I think we should get into it a little bit.

B (8:48)

Yeah. I mean, it's astonishing that. That roughly 70% of kids quit organized sports by age 13. But having gone through that time with our kids, I'm not surprised. Like, the amount of times that Glennon tried to get Emma to quit playing soccer were endless. I mean, it was so many. Every weekend she'd be like, are you sure you still want to do this? And ammo was really driving the train here for it. But, like, there's so much pressure on these kids and there's so much required of them, you know, like, gone are the days. Yeah, you can be. You can play rec league soccer and practice and train once or twice a week. But for club soccer, travel, soccer teams, it feels like it is never ending. And it is non stop. And. And from the parents perspective too. Like, I don't want to spend my whole life going to soccer games. Honestly, I really don't.

A (9:54)

And as much as we say, like, don't specialize is really hard. I mean, I live that with Izzy. Izzy wanted to play both soccer and volleyball. And then we got to high school and she was doing both and we were. And I was really pushing it. Like, no, not just soccer. Not just Vol. Play as many as you can. But it became so overwhelming for her that she had to drop one because she was losing her mind. Literally. Like, I can't do this, mom. It's like high school volleyball, club volleyball, high school soccer, club soccer. She was playing on four teams, sometimes at the same time. And I was like, what are we doing? As much as we want to not specialize, I think it's really hard. And with that in mind, I think we as parents have to be very mindful of how we approach this. Did you ever burn out abs when you were playing as a kid?

B (10:52)

Yes.

A (10:53)

Huh.

B (10:54)

I did. I. Because I played basketball and soccer.

A (10:58)

Yeah.

B (11:00)

And I was always really, really tired. By spring Season for, like, high school, you know, And I just. Like, my freshman year, my spring season in high school, I was like, mom, I can't do anything for the next, like, month or two. Like, I can't. Like, I need to get my body back to what it needs to be for summer. So I had, like, a month or two off.

A (11:26)

Oh, good. What did your mom say when you said that?

B (11:28)

She was, like, great.

A (11:30)

Yay. Yay.

B (11:31)

Wonderful. Yeah, wonderful. But because, like, it's a lot, you know, Like. And I was also playing on two soccer teams during the summer. So, like, I'd go and play in the ODP system, and then I'd come home and play in the club system, and then I'd play in the hot. In the high school system, and then I'd play high school basketball. So it was doing a lot in kind of a short period of time. So I did need that, like, spring semester, like, that spring sport time off from. From high school, and it was everything. Like, I just needed to get my brain back to, like, feeling, like, normal. Like a homeostasis, in a way.

A (12:06)

Yeah, I had the same thing. I was in high school playing a lot of different sports. I played volleyball. I ran track and field. I played softball. Soccer was like, yeah, soccer's fun, but, like, it's not everything. But there was a point where I was like, this is too much. I don't want to play soccer anymore. I think I was already, like, kind of on the national team, too, because I got on the national team at 16. Maybe it was my freshman year when I was 15, but I was like, mom, I'm gonna quit soccer and play volleyball. And she was like, okay, I can. I mean, by today's standards, they'd be like, wait, what?

B (12:42)

That is amazing.

A (12:43)

I was like, I'm gonna quit for, like, three months, and I'm gonna play high school volleyball. I'm gonna lock in on high school volleyball because I really liked it. And the most amazing thing happened by the end of the high school and I did that. She didn't care.

B (12:56)

My.

A (12:57)

My dad didn't care. That's fine, honey. By the end of the high school volleyball season, I was constantly. I found myself with my feet juggling the volleyballs, which, yes, FYI, volleyball coaches do not love when you do that with your feet, when you're juggling. So my coach all the time would be like, fowdy, stop with the juggling with your feet. And I'd be like, oh, sorry, sorry. I didn't even realize I was doing it. Yeah, but Like, I found myself wanting to get back to soccer, and so it cleared this space for me to actually start enjoying soccer again. And so that.

B (13:35)

That reminds me of, like, how it felt in high school to me, too. Basketball was such a fresh breath of air to get away from soccer. Like, to have to be on those multiple teams and playing, you know, throughout the summer, and then playing in the fall is when we had our soccer in high school. Basketball was so much fun because it was winter, and you got to go inside, and I don't know, there's just, like, something about playing basketball that, like, I really, truly loved playing basketball so much. I was just better at playing soccer. And so then when the spring kind of came around, I could get that rest from both. But absolutely, without basketball, I would probably have quit playing soccer. I know it. I know it. Yeah, because soccer's hard, Jules. Like, running around all those places and, you know, traveling. And then it started to get even more difficult because I was traveling more to go play games.

A (14:37)

And then you compound that with today's pressure, which we didn't even have growing up, of, like, all these coaches watching on the sidelines and, oh, my gosh, this person over here, my friend, just committed to, you know, this school, and half the team's already committed, and I'm not committed. Oh, my gosh. So it's a lot, and I think we should go over some things that could actually help, and maybe some things we had wish we had done sooner. I think the first thing for parents is, as we were just talking about, is be on your kid's side, right? Be their safe place. Give them permission to rest without consequence. You heard Abby's parents doing it. You heard my parents doing it. They never, ever were like, nope, that's a bad idea. And I think you should normalize breaks. I think you should not just normalize them. You should advocate for them and remind them that balance and model balance is the most important thing. I had to do that a lot with Izzy, and I will have to do that a lot with Declan now with his football and basketball overlapping. Like, no, we're gonna actually go away and miss that tournament. And it's gonna be okay. It really is. Life is gonna go on. They're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. Understand that, because, you know, you can feel the anxiety. Like, Izzy would be like, I can't. I can't miss that tournament. I was like, yes, you can.

B (16:06)

I know.

A (16:06)

And you're going to.

B (16:08)

I know. And it's so. That is a really hard Battle to, to fight with your kiddo. Because they are really like, it's, it's a fear based response. Not a I want to play. It's. I can't miss it because I don't want to lose my starting spot or I don't want to lose playing minutes or I want to be getting better. You know, like all of these things that we know, one game, two games, is not going to impact the overall trajectory of your life. I think one of the biggest pitfalls that happens though, is depending on how your kid interfaces with their sport. Some are much more like anxious bunnies, right? That they're like, I know mine. Mine is Emma. Like, she doesn't want to miss anything. She like really doesn't want to get behind. Like, she wants to stay on top of it. She feels like she's a leader, you know, like all these things that are like. So I think positive. But I do worry that sometimes as the parent, I can get a little bit caught up in what I'm thinking about in terms of her overall future. Parents are thinking their age, right? Like, you need to plan for the future and you need to prepare and you need to have all of these boxes checked off so that you know that you are going to solidify. Like, parents want to make sure their kids can be successful, right? And it comes from a really good place. And I really.

A (17:38)

Best of intentions.

B (17:40)

Absolutely, best of intentions. But we forget that, like, the kids have to go through the whole of their life, right? And they have to learn how to handle some of these anxieties that come up about maybe missing a game or maybe missing a couple of practices because the family has some, some sort of thing going on. They have to learn what it feels like to deal with that kind of inner world, right? And so often I don't think that we're giving our kids the experience of managing those internal emotions. We're just like, okay, like, just keep going. And we're gonna, we're gonna go to all of the games and we're gonna go to all of the practices and we're gonna go to every single tournament. And you know, some of these clubs, they require and actually start punishing players for not going to practices or games. They're like, well, you can't play.

A (18:34)

Yes. And this is another angle I want to hit on because it's not just the parents that should bear this responsibility trying to bring the balance. Let's bring some common sense back to these clubs and coaches. Do not punish these kids for wanting to go to a prom because that happens.

B (18:53)

That's right. That's right.

A (18:55)

Do not punish these kids for going on vacation occasionally when it doesn't suit the team. Let's have some balance. High school already requires them to come back all summer to play, which drives me nuts. I'm like, what happened this summertime and a break. They play all summer and then they freak out. Like, I can't miss it. If I miss it, I'm not going to make the team. So high schools, coaches, right?

B (19:24)

Like, Jules, can I give you a little story that happened? So Emma, she's going to Santa Clara next year, and the freshman class that's going in in the fall of 2026, they all came to go watch one of the Broncos play in a game this last fall.

A (19:43)

Santa Clara Broncos. Yeah.

B (19:44)

Yeah. And it was so awesome. Like, they got to meet each other, and they're like, you know, they're starting to communicate on text and on snap and whatever. And so some of the veteran players, like a senior player, was around the girls, and I was just standing there, and the girls are kind of being awkward, so it's like, okay, I'll ask the player, the current player the question so that the girls can listen. And I was thinking, oh, you know, she's going to give them, like, this incredible advice. And, like, what ended up happening was, like, far greater than I could have ever imagined. I said. I said, I have a question. Like, you know, what it was like to come in as a freshman. What would you have done differently? Knowing what, you know now, having gone through the whole system of Santa Clara soccer, what would you have done differently your. The semester before and the summer before coming in as a freshman? And she. She was quiet, and she started, like, talking and. And as a parent who, you know, I'm trying to, like, in many ways inspire Emma, because soccer in college is another level up. You do have to make a different kind of commitment than your high school self, you know? And I was imagining she's like, well, you got to get to lift a lot of weights and you got to run and you got to be fit and you got to be ready. And she said, I would have gone to prom and I would have hang, hung out with my friends more.

A (21:20)

Yeah.

B (21:22)

And I just was like, wow, that is amazing, because you can get in your head about what you expect or think that environment is going to be like that. It's going to be, like, professionalized and all of it. But here, this captain, the senior, just no, with no problem. Just was like, I would have gone to my Prom. That's something I. I missed. And I regret not going to my prom because of soccer. And it's like, yeah, like, when you get away from it and you can have a little perspective, the things that do matter really do matter, and we should do them.

A (22:01)

Yeah. And like, Izzy, I've told this story before, but I'm going to tell it again. Izzy had this moment her senior year, and she had been playing for a coach who had punished before. You going to prom? So she had a little PTSD from that, and she wanted to go to her senior prom. And I said, you are absolutely going to your senior prom. And she said, I'm afraid to ask this new coach or not new, but she'd had him a couple years because of that past experience. And I said, no, no, no, because she. She wanted to lie to him and say, oh, I'm. I'm away for something else. I'm like, no, you just. This guy gets it, right? Like, just say to him, I'm conflicted. I have this dance this prom, and he will immediately jump in and be like, izzy, go to it. I'm telling you, Izzy, he gets it. So she goes, no, no, I. I think I need to lie to him.

B (22:55)

I need.

A (22:56)

Do not lie.

B (22:57)

Yeah.

A (22:58)

Just trust me and go tell him the truth. So she's like, coach, hey, it's Izzy. So she's. I could hear in the other room, like, so uncomfortable. And so I have this. I'm kind of conflicted because I have this prom coming up, and I hear him go, oh, you're good, Izzy. Just miss it. We're fine. We got plenty of players. I'm all for you going to proms.

B (23:23)

She's like, oh, okay, good.

A (23:26)

Yeah. So I'm just saying, if you are out there and punishing kids for living a balanced life, check yourself.

B (23:36)

Exactly.

A (23:37)

Because that, to me, is not okay. We have to have some perspective here.

B (23:42)

And also, I get it.

A (23:43)

You want them there. But, like, come on.

B (23:46)

What you did was so good because you told her to be honest. And that conversation with that coach is such an important life lesson for. For Izzy to demand what she wants to. To ask for what is important to her.

A (24:04)

Yeah.

B (24:05)

You know, because, like, if you start making these concessions time after time after time, your life becomes something that you didn't want.

A (24:13)

Right.

B (24:14)

Right. And so, like, it is. It is a surefire way to ensure that you have no deathbed regret by making sure that you have no bedtime regret. This is a Glennon Doyle quote. So I'm not. This is not for Me, this is for my wife. Like, I think that. I think that that is so important for our kids to learn how to advocate for themselves and not feel bad about wanting to have a good life. And by the way, not feeling bad and this is really hard by having a different opinion about the life that you want, that your coach might have for you, because your coach is trying to, you know, and, and, and no shame for the coaches. They're trying to create a good. A good team, and they want to win games, and I get it, but one player is not going to make or break the team, regardless even if you're the best player on the team or not.

A (25:06)

I know. All right. And I. I think another thing, too, as parents is just understanding, too, that, like, there's different for development with kids, right? Like, they're not going to be superstars at some of them at age 12, where others are going to be superstars at age 12. Right. But, like, understand it's not linear. It's all very different.

B (25:28)

Right?

A (25:29)

And that failure is actually a really good thing because it teaches you this incredible perspective that you're going to be fine and you're going to get through this failure, and then you're going to come out on the other side thriving. And if you can help kids understand that, the lessons from we can do hard things, that, yes, we can do hard things, as Abby and Glennon talk about all the time, I think is another really great opportunity to help with burnout, because you're embracing the long term.

B (26:04)

Yeah, it's good. And, you know, I think some things that we've been talking about, too, on the show that I think is important, the. The signal, like when. When. When somebody is burnt out, when you have a kid that might be burnt out, that is not a failure on your part or. Or their part. It is just information, like, give them some time to become themselves. I know that for me, being an athlete and being a soccer player for all those years, I do know that I didn't develop other parts of myself. And. And I think that that's what I thought that I needed to do because that was the only way that I knew how to do it, and it was working. And so I didn't want to mess things up, you know, And I think that if, like, I could go back and do something a little bit different and I would have expanded all the other parts of myself, right? And. But I do give my mom and dad a lot of credit, my mom a lot of credit, really, for. For giving me that semester off of not having to do any, like, school sport to just, like, come home. And I remember, Jules, I would come home and I would make myself a sandwich, and I would sit there and it was a bologna sandwich. I know this is silly.

A (27:22)

With American cheese.

B (27:23)

And I just, like, didn't have to. I wasn't at school. And I got to, like, watch TV for, like, an extra hour or two a day, you know, like, and I just got to feel like I was a person rather than an athlete. Yeah.

A (27:37)

You know, and then you find yourself ready to go.

B (27:39)

Totally.

A (27:40)

It doesn't have to be the end of a career. Like, burnout can signal. Okay. I just. I just need a break.

B (27:45)

Yeah.

A (27:46)

I need to switch things up a little bit.

B (27:47)

Then I would feel excited to go back to soccer during basketball, you know, Then I'd be excited to go play basketball when I was playing soccer. Like, it. And that's what you want. You want to feel, like, excited about the thing that you're participating in all that because you spend a lot of time doing it.

A (28:03)

Yeah. And someone once told me that joy isn't a bonus, it's your fuel. It's not like, it's like your everyday. There should be joy in what you're doing. It's not like, oh, I finally found some joy. So I think we can try and remind our kids, too, that that is the North Star.

B (28:24)

Yeah. And just so you know, folks, Glennon and I started taking dance classes. And I'll get more into this another time. I love this for sure, but, you know, like, we're almost 10 years into our relationship and we have kind of gotten into our way of life. And just inserting a couple of these dance lessons into our life has, like, reinvigorated this parts of ourselves. Like, we're having fun together. It's not just always about the kids or always about work or always about, you know, the house management stuff. It's like, we got to go do something that had, like, there was. The only reason we were doing it was because we wanted to have fun. And that is so important. So if you are feeling a little bit burnout in your life, if you are noticing your kid was feeling a little burnout in their lives, go and do something that is only. Its only use is to spark joy.

A (29:26)

Velvet. Abigail, let's be clear. I have a lot of hair. And I've talked a lot about my hair journey. I know you know this. For the longest time, I thought that the more I wash my hair, the cleaner and healthier it would be. Well, it turns out and especially with this hair, I had it completely wrong. So most traditional shampoos use really harsh detergents that strip your scalp of its natural oils. And when that happens, your scalp kind of goes into this overdrive of trying to fix it so it produces more oil, produces it faster. And when you end up washing more, you're, you're suddenly stuck in this constant cycle. And that's what led me to Hair Stories New wash. And literally, I'm not exaggerating when I say it completely changed my relationship with my hair. New wash isn't a shampoo. It's a detergent free cleansing cream. And as I, as you're using it, you're like, whoa, this is weird because usually, like, you know, you get really sudsy and it doesn't feel like that. But what happens is it cleans your hair without stripping it, and that's why. So your scalp can actually rebalance itself. So my hair feels healthier, it feels softer. I'm going way longer, thank goodness, between washes, which I never thought would happen for me. And the simplicity is a huge win. It replaces both shampoo and conditioner. So it's just one step, less time, less effort. And honestly, it just feels better. I've also been using their pre wash, which is a prebiotic scalp rinse. I don't know if you've used this this yet, abs, but it helps you break down, build up and kind of reset your scalp, especially if you're switching over from traditional shampoos. And I noticed that transition felt a lot smoother because of it. If you're tired of that wash, grease, repeat cycle like I was. I really recommend giving this a try. Go to hairstory.com welcome to the party and use code party15 for 15 off your first order. This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. We are outside a lot. Walking, exercising, anything. And here's the trick to stay hydrated. I reach for Liquid IV and it delivers longer lasting hydration than water alone. And right now you can get 20% off your first order with code. Welcome to the party at checkout. One stick in 16 ounces of water hydrates faster than water alone. Plus it's got three times the electrolytes of leading sports drinks, eight essential vitamins, and it helps retain hydration for up to 4 hours. So get moving with superior hydration from Liquid IV. Tear pour live more. Go to liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first purchase with code. Welcome to the party at checkout. That's 20% off your first purchase with code. Welcome to the party@liquidiv.com. this show is sponsored by Liquid IV ABS. Yo, I have a feeling that you and I do vacations very similar. We are active, we are hiking, we are moving, we are pickleballing, we're surfing, we're doing it. All right.

B (33:07)

Yes. My family and Jules, my family, we like to find one of the most like, unpopular hikes. So I guess uncrowded is the way. Like, we don't want to be on the most popular trail.

A (33:21)

Right.

B (33:21)

So we go down these rabbit holes of finding the off the beaten path.

A (33:26)

Right.

B (33:26)

Trails. Do you guys do that or you guys. We do popular trail.

A (33:30)

No, I like. I like the path less traveled.

B (33:32)

For sure. For sure.

A (33:34)

Yeah. And.

B (33:35)

And that because of that, you have to prepare for all circumstances. And by the way, let's just say it now, family vacation is not vacation, it's trips. There's no such thing as family vacation

A (33:48)

when you have kids with you.

B (33:50)

Okay? When you have children, they're trips.

A (33:53)

We actually did a hike that's really popular because it's. It's so good. When we were in Kauai last year, that waterfall hike, that's hard. It's really hard.

B (34:03)

Yeah.

A (34:05)

Way up high, you pass long Hanalei Bay, you keep going, you have to take a shuttle in. And because it's so long. We know. And I've done this hike before where I didn't bring enough water and electrolytes when I was younger. And so I told the kids. So the kids and I and Ian, we just like started shoving liquid IV packets and everything we could in the backpacks and pockets so that when we were on this hike and I. And I'm like, you have to bring enough water. Because the thing about those adventures and, and long, long travels and hikes like that, they wipe you out. So that's where liquid IV has become. Are non negotiable. I literally throw those packets in and you can tear one open while you're hiking and just dump it in your water.

B (34:56)

Yeah. And. And you can really feel the difference because, Jules, I don't know if you know this. It's powered by their live hydro science formula, like an optimized ratio of electrolytes, vitamins, and clinically tested nutrients that hydrate faster than water alone. And Jules, it's going to keep you hydrated for up to four hours. So that's not. That's not nothing when you're running and hiking some of the. And going on these long hikes like, like you did in Kauai.

A (35:26)

Okay, you know what My go to flavor is what? Have you tried this one?

B (35:30)

No.

A (35:30)

Pina colada.

B (35:32)

Pina colada. I've not tried that.

A (35:34)

Oh, I. It is, is as if you were drinking a pina colada. It's clean, it's refreshing, it's not too sweet. What's your fave?

B (35:44)

Good white. White peach.

A (35:46)

Okay. I love peaches.

B (35:47)

I'm such a peach person.

A (35:49)

Okay. And if you want sugar free, that's your white peach one. You got that?

B (35:53)

Yeah.

A (35:53)

You got rainbow sherbet. Fun. So wherever your curiosity takes you, bring Liquid IV. Go to Liquid I.com and get 20 off your first order with code. Welcome to the party at checkout. That's 20 off with code. Welcome to the party at liquid@liquidiv.com. tear poor. Live more, hike more, party more. I think we should also talk one last thing and then I'm gonna get to a question from the party people as well. Your kids relationship with sport matters more than their resume. I'm gonna say it again. Your kids relationship with sport matters more than their resume. Meaning. And this is a perfect segue into the question we're going to get from Laura from Milwaukee. Right. Who asks. My question is about high level expensive club sports. What makes a good club? When is a club worthwhile? How do I know a club will help my child develop versus just take my money and shove them on a C level team? Any advice for a clueless soccer mom? And it's a, it's a good reminder that because there is this pull to play at the highest level and play at this club because they're so successful. But if you're not getting that vibe that that's the best thing for your kid, or maybe they've played against them and they didn't like the team chemistry or culture of that club, then think about again, instead of what is what society thinks or the community thinks is the best club, what is best for your kid.

B (37:43)

Yeah.

A (37:44)

Instead of just their resume.

B (37:46)

Yeah. And and the advice, although I'm not good at advice. The thing I would say to Laura is this Laura.

A (37:53)

Yeah.

B (37:54)

Milwaukee. I would just say, you know, your kid will tell you what they want. Right. Like get them on. You don't have to get your kid on a travel club ECNL team. You can go and get them on an AYSO team or a rec league team in your area. The costs are absolutely not nearly as absorbent as the other club league soccer programs out there. And just see like, see if they like it. Ask them questions like why is it so fun? Is it so fun and it will give you the information, like you can't be the one that determines whether your kid's having fun. Your kid has to be the one that tells you if they love it. And you will know, like they will be like really fired up when they go, when they're on the way to practice and they're very chatty in the car or they're on their way home or, and they're sad or they're like, you know, you have like a little ball in their room and they're kicking it around when you're not watching. Like these are like little things that you just have to pay attention, are happening with your kids and then as, as they get older, you know, and, and, or you might want to go to a new team, a more, a more elite team or whatnot. You will know. It's, it's, it will, it will be clear. And what will not be clear is which team, which coach. How do you know what club is the right club? Right. Like, those are much more difficult questions to answer that I can't help you with. But you just gotta do the research and find the right people. Find somebody in your community who is a soccer person. Find parents in your community who might have a kid in the soccer system there that can help give you at least the information you need to make the best decision.

A (39:48)

Ask about the culture, ask about the club. Ask a lot of questions. For sure, it is not easy. I'm not, it's not. And I, I, and I, I wish you all the best of luck with that. I'm so happy that I don't have to do that anymore, actually.

B (40:00)

I know, I know.

A (40:01)

But I think that we play a much larger role than we realize in influencing how our kids relationship is with sports. I want my kids to look back and not be like, damn, that was stressful. Oh, I didn't like that. I want to look back and be like, wow, I, I played with the most amazing teammates. And I, and I'm still like, that's the gift that keeps on giving, right? Your ride or dies or your teammates for the rest of your life. I mean, look at Abby and I look at all the 99ers, my Stanford soccer community. I mean, and you're going to be the same abs. That's the gift that keeps on giving.

B (40:40)

Yeah, yeah, they're. And, and by the way, there's so many more parents who might be listening to this that like their kids, our kids may not go and play professional soccer. That is perfectly fine. That is not why I wanted my kids to play sports. I want my kids to play sports because it makes them understand and know themselves as much as they possibly can so that when they go out and start building a life for themselves, they know how they're built, they know who they're building it from. There's like a there is a home that they have made for themselves and I and in my experience, sport has that ability to give somebody at least a better understanding of how to build a life.

A (41:27)

Absolutely. So we want them all to be playing as long as they can. Laura from Milwaukee thank you for the awesome questions, Party People. If you too want to send a question, we have an email. Party people questions gmail.com also, while you're at it, don't first, don't forget to subscribe to the welcome to the Party YouTube channel. You can actually watch the party and the ridiculousness and if you click that little bell icon, you can get updates when new episodes go live.

B (42:04)

Yeah. And if you would just take a second, we would really appreciate it to if you could rate leave a comment and subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcast or Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. And be sure to follow us on TikTok and Instagram welcome to the Party show where Julie, Billy and I will bring the party straight to your feed. You can also email us like Julie said at party people questions gmail.com shout out to Kate Diaz, our friend, because we just love our theme music. She wrote and composed it herself. Jules, you want to do usa?

A (42:36)

You call it in this time, kids on three from the Soul. One, two, three. USA USA. USA.

B (42:46)

Welcome to the Party is an independent production brought to you by Treat Media. Treat Media makes art for humans who want to stay human. Initial Digital is our production partner and you can also watch our full conversations on the welcome to the Party Party YouTube channel and follow us at welcome to the Party show on Instagram and TikTok. Thanks for listening.