‘We Need You To Be Better’: The Talk That Changed Abby Wambach’s Career

Summary

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Welcome to the Party

Episode: “We Need You To Be Better”: The Talk That Changed Abby Wambach’s Career

Release Date: December 11, 2025
Host: Treat Media
Featured Speakers: Abby Wambach, Julie Foudy, Billie Jean King (regular), Shannon Box (discussed)

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Episode Overview

In this lively and inspiring episode, soccer legends Abby Wambach and Julie Foudy field questions from their passionate listeners, providing heartfelt and sometimes hilarious insights on coaching, team culture, inspiring women in sport, the evolving landscape of women’s soccer, and the critical role of emotional development in young athletes. Abby recounts a pivotal pre–World Cup intervention from teammate Shannon Box that transformed her career—a candid, vulnerable moment that grounds the episode’s theme: the power of honest feedback and support. The energy is authentic, full of camaraderie, mischief, and mutual respect, inviting listeners into the heart of women’s sports both on and off the field.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Team Intervention: The Talk That Changed Abby Wambach’s Career

• Opening Moment ([00:00]):
  • Abby shares a personal story about how Shannon Box gave her some “tough love” before the 2011 Women's World Cup:

    “Shannon Box had to come to my room. I'll never forget this. And she said, ‘Abby, what's been happening? What is going on? Because it's not good enough. And we need you to be better.’”
    — Abby Wambach ([00:00])

  • Julie cheers on Shannon Box for her bravery and leadership.

    “Yay, Shannon Box.”
    — Julie Foudy ([00:09])

  • Abby credits this intervention as life-changing, demonstrating the value of open, honest communication among teammates and the importance of being receptive to feedback.

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2. Q&A: “Power to the Party People!”

Listener questions fuel the main portion of the episode, sparking insightful, candid discussions:

Q1: Does Coaching or Talent Matter Most for Team Success?

• Rebecca S. from L.A. asks: How much does coaching truly matter vs. player talent?
  • Julie:

    “The coach sets the tone, it sets the atmosphere, it sets the vibe... It’s a mix of both… but the coach is key.” ([06:04])

    • Points out that “consistently great” teams require strong chemistry and culture, but that’s built by the coach.
  • Abby:

    “The success should always fall on the players’ shoulders and the failures should always fall on the coach’s shoulders.” ([07:16])

    • Shares the “Miracle on Ice” example — that Olympic coaches don’t get medals:

      "...if you’re a strong enough coach and a confident enough coach... all you’re doing is setting them up to succeed. And when it doesn't work out, you didn't set them up right enough." ([08:24])

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Q2: Most Inspiring Female Athletes & “Fan-Girling” Moments

• Erica P. asks: Who are the women athletes you’ve fangirled over?
  • Julie:

    “Billie Jean King, I fangirled over. Like, who’s not gonna?” ([10:19]) - Remembers her first Women’s Sports Foundation event in her 20s—mouth agape in awe.

  • Abby:

    “…Now that we’ve gotten to know her, I’m less this way just because I know her more personally. She’s like a person instead of the icon that all of us kind of know Billie Jean King as.” ([11:23])

    • Admires women who do the unimaginable:

      “I love and admire women out there that can do things that—that I know this sounds kind of egocentric of me—but that I know that I could never envision myself doing.” ([12:49])

    • Cites ultramarathoners like Courtney Dauwalter:

      “Her pain cave metaphor and the mentality around how to suffer is really, like, what we’re doing here as a human on this planet.” ([12:25])

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Q3: Social-Emotional Development for Young Athletes

• Cassie G. (Female Footballers) asks: What should new coaches know about social-emotional development?
  • Abby:

    “This is an opportunity for all of us... to work on our emotional responses to life, to the world, to chaos, to games, to problem solving—all of it.” ([19:09])

    • Shares how good coaches “test emotionality” by putting players in challenging situations in practice, so they learn to manage frustration and adversity.
    • Candidly admits sometimes she failed at emotional management:

      “Honestly, sometimes I failed. I saw red. My teammates were, like, yelling at me, 'Ice! Ice! Stop!' You know? And I’m just, like, running around fouling people.” ([21:14])

    • Revisits her 2011 World Cup “Shannon Box intervention” in detail ([21:47]–[23:32]):

      “She said, ‘Abby, what’s been happening? What is going on? Because it’s not good enough. And we need you to be better if we’re going to do well in this tournament.’ ...I just was like, damn, that's so good.”

    • On being coachable:

      “Because I had been put in so many hundreds, thousands of environments by good coaches who challenged us on purpose so that we can take feedback, I was ready for that moment and I got my shit together.” ([23:14])

    • Also credits the role of teammates as “coaches.”
  • Julie:

    “The one thing that should be your North Star... you are given this gift to be able to plant a seed on a daily basis.” ([24:42])

    • Stresses how a coach often spends more time with players than family, and the lessons they teach reach far beyond sport:

      “What are you teaching them about? Because that’s what they need in terms of their social emotional development. How are you being a good teammate? How are you celebrating others? How are you taking care of others while competing with others?” ([25:20])

    • “You’re going to have to compete, but you’re also going to have to collaborate. And the two can go hand in hand.”

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Q4: Is the Full College Experience Over for Top Soccer Prospects?

• Susan B. asks: Are top players forced to skip college now for pro success?
  • Julie:

    “I do think, sadly, the days of top players having a full college experience is over... and that makes me very sad.” ([33:39])

    • Cites Lindsay Horan passing up UNC for Europe as an early milestone, and the increasingly young age of signings in today’s game.
    • Notes that right college program can still provide elite development, but the pro system is increasingly the pathway for the very top.
  • Abby:

    “The top, top players coming out of high school, I would say the top 10%, will probably not finish their college careers.” ([35:28])

    • Emphasizes the role of community, camaraderie, and development that comes through playing with one group over time—something now under threat due to NIL, transfer portals, and early pro moves.
    • Shares her own experience:

      “I would never have done well had I... went professional too soon. I needed the experience to develop.” ([36:53])

  • Julie adds a warning to ambitious kids/parents:

    “Make sure like—that’s legit... I’d hate for you to give up that full college experience and go on to the professional experience and go, ‘this isn’t at all what I wanted it to be.’” ([38:50])

    • Both reflect fondly on their transformative college years and urge caution for young players and families.

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3. Lighter & Memorable Moments

• Abby’s “Airplane Gross” in New York ([01:12]):
  • Abby’s opening tale of hotel water-mains breaking in NYC, brushing teeth with a water bottle, and debating showering in brown water sets the fun, candid tone.
• “I have trouble saying my ahs” — the ‘Wadeo’ Story ([40:53]):
  • Abby tells a sweetly hilarious family story about her daughter’s challenges with pronunciation, ending with the child’s deadpan:

    “We all have challenges. And I have trouble saying my ahs.” ([41:34])

• On ‘Fan-Girling’ Billie Jean King ([10:19]):
  • Julie’s “catching flies” mimed awe around BJK—a recurring moment of respect and playfulness.
• Abby on coaching youth and “fake-out” fitness punishments ([20:25]):
  • “Winners get to get some water and the non-winners have to do some sort of fitness... but it’s the experience of curating some sort of problem, some sort of situation that they have to figure out how to manage.”

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On Honest Feedback:

  “She said, ‘Abby, what’s been happening? What is going on? Because it’s not good enough. And we need you to be better.’”
  — Abby Wambach, recounting Shannon Box ([21:53])

• On the Coach/Player Dynamic:

  “The success should always fall on the players’ shoulders and the failures should always fall on the coach’s shoulders.”
  — Abby Wambach ([07:16])

• On Coaching’s Impact:

  “The one thing that should be your North Star... you are given this gift to be able to plant a seed on a daily basis.”
  — Julie Foudy ([24:42])

• On the Changing Landscape of Women’s Soccer:

  “I do think, sadly, the days of top players having a full college experience is over... and that makes me very sad.”
  — Julie Foudy ([33:39])

• On Being Starstruck:

  “Billie Jean King, I fangirled over. Like, who’s not gonna?”
  — Julie Foudy ([10:19])

• On Enduring Team Bonds:

  “My Stanford soccer group is still to this day so strong with how many of us hang out and, and are friends together still.”
  — Julie Foudy ([39:42])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 — Shannon Box’s intervention with Abby
• 06:02 — Q1: Coaching vs. Talent
• 09:49 — Q2: Most Inspiring Female Athletes/“Fangirl” Moments
• 18:32 — Q3: Social-Emotional Development for Young Athletes
• 33:09 — Q4: College Experience vs. Going Pro
• 40:53 — Abby’s “Wadeo” family story
• 42:00 — Listener feedback encouragements, wrap-up comments

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Conclusion

This episode of “Welcome to the Party” blends deep honesty, powerful stories, and genuine camaraderie—showcasing how vulnerability and laughter build community both among elite athletes and their fans. Abby’s story of “the talk” with Shannon Box exemplifies the critical impact teammates and coaches have on personal and professional growth. The listener Q&A format brings the broader sports community directly into the conversation, making the podcast feel like a true gathering of “Party People.”

For anyone passionate about women’s sports, team culture, leadership, or simply sharing a laugh with legends, this episode is a can’t-miss.

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Transcript

[A]

Shannon Box had to come to my room. I'll never forget this. And she said, abby, what's been happening? What is going on? Because it's not good enough. And we need you to be better.

[B]

Yay, Shannon Box.

[A]

A little intervention kind of changed my life in a lot of ways. And I give a lot of credit to Shannon Box for stepping up and giving me good.

[B]

I've never heard that story. Yeah, I've never heard that story. That's so good. Attention. The party is about to commence.

[A]

Welcome to the party.

[B]

What's up, party people? I'm Julie Foudy.

[A]

And I'm Abby Wambach.

[B]

Party people, for those of you not watching on YouTube, Abby is remote, and she is in the cutest little orange beanie. You're missing it out. Go over to YouTube right now. And I think it's because. Full disclosure. Pull back the curtain. Abby, the beanie is because of what?

[A]

I'm in New York City. I'm in New York City.

[B]

I know, but your shower is not working.

[A]

I woke up this morning, and the entire hotel's water main line broke. And so I went to go brush my teeth this morning. And, Jules, I flipped that faucet up, and it was just air. There was no water. And I was like, oh, this isn't good. Okay. And so then I. You know, I use my. A water bottle to brush my teeth. Don't worry, folks. I brush my teeth. And then I called down to the front desk, and the lady just said, yeah, we. Our water for the entire building's not working. And I was like, okay. So I gotta. I got some stuff to do today, and I gotta look purdy, and. And I got some. I got some recordings to do. And I've got an event tonight to be present at, and I flew all day yesterday to get to New York, so I.

[B]

That means you're so clean. You're in an airplane. You didn't do anything.

[A]

I know, but it's airplane gross. It's airplane gross.

[B]

You know how I feel about showers. They're overrated. You're fine. Put a beanie on. Go to the event tonight.

[A]

I can't. I have to actually, like, do my hair. So I actually just. I think the water has been turned back on.

[B]

But here's back.

[A]

Yeah, here's the problem, y'. All. What happens when your water turns off, huh? Then you turn it back on. What do you gotta do? You gotta run that faucet. You gotta run that faucet for five minutes.

[B]

It's brown.

[A]

Because it is brown. It is brown, Julie.

[B]

And I was like, it is so brown.

[A]

I didn't want to know this. And so I ran my shower a little bit. I don't know if I'm going to shower. I think I might go across.

[B]

You might have to change hotels.

[A]

I don't know what I'm going to do. I called the Women's Sports foundation folks. I emailed them and I was like, can I get in a day earlier to the hotel, please? Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Good times. Good times on the road.

[B]

We love being on the road, don't we?

[A]

Love it. How are you, Jules? You're coming to New York City any second, right?

[B]

I know, I'm coming. I'm on my way. I'm about to get on a plane. So before we get on a plane, though, we thought it would be fun to do another give the power to the party people that you party people. So we have put our back call out before and we've done it again for listeners to email us questions. And what's so fun, honestly, is we get so many thoughtful ones and emails and we're pulling from some of those. It's really awesome to hear you guys and what's resonating and what you're loving and all the things. So thank you for those who wrote in. And if you haven't written in, please do a reminder. We have our own email. Party people, questionsmail.com. that's party people, questionsmail.com.

[A]

But Jules, and here's the thing. I think what's cool about this is that not only are we getting tons of questions to our email that we have to sift through, but the Apple podcast rating situation and the comments that people are leaving, I like, I'm going there on a daily basis to get my little, like, feel good fix. To get my feel good fix. Leave multiple comments if you can. I don't know if that's even possible, but thank you. Thank you for those comments. And by the way, we're gonna listen to those comments. Those comments, like, if you have any feedback, we want this. We want this show to be of the people. And so we want to curate this with you.

[B]

Yeah, we're listening. We are definitely listening. We love that feedback. And you're right, Abs, when you need a little pick me up, just go to the Apple podcast page and read our comments.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. That's what I find myself doing. Oh, I actually sigh out loud. Oh, um, okay. First question from the party people, Abigail, is a question from Rebecca S. From Los Angeles. Hi, Abby and Julie, Big fan of you both and loving. Welcome to the party so much. Here's something I've been thinking about. When it comes to a team success or failure, how much responsibility really falls on the coach. Does great coaching truly make a difference? Or is it more about having the right mix of talent or is it a blend of both? I'd love to hear your 2 or 20 cents. Thanks a mill. Party on Rebecca and La La Land.

[A]

What do you think, Jules?

[B]

It's definitely a mix. But yes, the coach is. Is key. The coach sets the tone, it sets the atmosphere, it sets the vibe. All those things. It sets the X's, no's. Like if you're not. If you're not set up right as just your foundational base, then there's a lot of problems. It doesn't matter how good the chemistry is, how good the players are like. But I think, I think it's a mix of both because then there's the other piece of it which we experience with the national team. I always talk about how we were consistently great with the national team, not just great. And the difference to our consistently great, which is hard and very different from just being great, is the team culture and the chemistry and the players piece, but all set by the coach.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. I think, of course, it's a little bit of both. One thing that's interesting is, yes, players in general, year over year, get traded or transferred to different teams or sign with different teams. And so everybody is kind of movable. But for the most part, when things are kind of going awry, you can't, you can't just like get rid of the entire team mid season. You can change the coaches mid season. So coaches are changeable if things aren't working out, number one. And the way that I actually really like to think about this, and this is how I think about like bosses and employers. The success should always fall on the players shoulders and the failures should always fall on the coaches shoulders. And it reminds me of the Miracle on Ice movie slash real life story of the 1980 men's hockey team who were basically like college players in the US and they ended up going and winning the Olympics. And Herb, I think was the coach's name against Russia.

[B]

The superpower, huh?

[A]

Yeah. I really liked his approach to coaching in that way. And when the players win, there's something really cool about the Olympics. The coaches don't get medals and I don't know if that's still the same as it was when we played, but it's really about the athletes. And for me, if you're a strong enough coach and a confident enough coach, you know that. That, like, all you're doing is setting them up to succeed. And when. When it doesn't work out, you didn't set them up right enough, well enough, and the failure lays on your shoulders.

[B]

Her Brooks is who you were talking about? Yeah.

[A]

Herb Brooks. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

Rebecca, wait. Great question. I just. I don't know why I went into. What was the cartoon. Oh, my God.

[A]

Wascling the rabbit? The Bugs Bunny? Weschling wabbit?

[B]

Okay, question number two. Hold on.

[A]

Before we go.

[B]

It was really quick.

[A]

It's not even Weskely Webbit. It's something. What is?

[B]

I'm crying. I don't know why that's so funny.

[A]

Thank you, Rebecca.

[B]

S. Great question. Great question.

[A]

Okay, I'll read number two. Okay. Question number two. Erica P. What female athletes, soccer or not, whom you've met throughout your life, have been the most inspiring or you've been starstruck by or fangirled over the most? Thanks, everyone. Oosa, usa thanks. Erica P. You go first.

[B]

Me? Okay. You gotta wipe away my tears.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Great question. Great question, Erica. I. I'm not much of a fan girler, weirdly, like, whether it's even athletes, celebrities, Hollywood celebrities, but I will say Billie Jean King, I fangirled over, like, who's not gonna. Who's not gonna be like. I'm. As I was in my 20s, I had already met her at the Women's Sports foundation, but when I spent that day with her in my early 20s, and I was like, what am I doing around this table of, like, eight amazing women, and one of them being Billie Jean King and listening to her tell her stories and all those things, I'm sure I was like, this the whole day. For those of you not watching on YouTube, that was like a mouth.

[A]

Yeah. Mouth again.

[B]

Catching flies. Yeah. And I still am. When I. When we spend time with her and she jumps on, I'm like, oh, Kinger.

[A]

Yeah, I know. That's what I would say, too. I would definitely say, like, she is the. And now that we get, we've gotten to know her, I'm less this way just because I know her more personally. She's like a person instead of, like, the icon that all of us kind of know Billie Jean King as. One of the things that I am obsessed with in terms of other female athletes or women athletes are the athletes who do things that I could never envision doing. Right. So Natalie Grabow, the Iron Manor. You know, like, yeah.

[B]

Courtney Dewalter, oldest to finish the Ironman. Yes.

[A]

Yeah. Courtney Dewalter, the ultra, like, the thing. Or like, yeah, ultra marathoner. Like, the thing that I think is so fascinating. And I want to get Courtney on this podcast and talk to her, because her pain cave metaphor and the mentality around how to suffer is really, like, what we're doing here as a human on this planet. So I thought.

[B]

I thought you meant in this podcast. I was like, are you suffering?

[A]

Yeah, Definitely not.

[B]

Gave this podcast pain.

[A]

Gave Julie. Talking to Julie is the worst. Talking to Billie Jean. But I just love. I love and admire women out there that can do things that. That I know this sounds kind of egocentric of me, but that I know that I could never envision myself doing. Like, I could never envision myself running hundreds of miles for an ultramarathon. Like, that's. That's amazing. And my hat's off to Courtney.

[B]

But you can run one minute on a peloton cross training treadmill.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, listen, it's true. And I also ran a marathon. Have you run a marathon yet, Jules?

[B]

No. No. I've run a lot of halves, but I've never checked the marathon off my bucket list. And I started getting. No, Then I started getting to a point where I was like, I just. It's the. It's. I. I mean, I want to be able to say I ran a marathon just to. To be able to run 26.2 miles, but it's the training. I don't think I could train. My body does not. Like, when I run that many miles.

[A]

The training's brutal. The training's brutal. And honestly, the training is the reason why I can't run anymore. So good call. Oh, really?

[B]

From training for that marathon is what killed your ankle?

[A]

Yeah, because I started training for it for the 2020 marathon in New York City, and that, of course, got canceled because of COVID So then it pushed into 2021, and I just kept training. I was just like, oh, this is. This is great. You know, I, like, I tapered off and then started training back up. And so just all of the miles on my. On my ankle, on the concrete just really ruined my ankle.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. That's a lot. Yeah, I'm not gonna worry about that on my bucket list anymore then. Okay, great question. Erica P. Thank you for that.

[A]

Okay, Jules, you know, working on the show has had me thinking a lot about all the years that we spent on the road And I can't express to you enough how done I am with staying in the normal Hook House situation. Okay. But there was this one trip I need to tell you about that really sticks out. So we were in Chicago. We went for a game and it was wonderful because there was like we had no schedule. I had nothing to do. I was just going to watch.

[B]

When does that ever happen? Never. Yeah, never.

[A]

And it was just so fun because it had all of these rooms, which was really important because I sleep loudly.

[B]

Snore.

[A]

And Glennon just gonna say snore sometimes needs to kick me out of the bedroom and send me on my way. And so that's why I've always loved booking homes with Airbnb. It's not just because we have multiple rooms, but it's got the kitchen and the coffee machine and it's a feeling of belonging somewhere. It's cozy, you know? So when you spent half of our careers living out of hotels, from finding a real home with space to really stretch out and actually have a kitchen, most importantly for me, a cozy couch. Huge. And here's something I wish I thought about back then, while we were traveling so much, we could have been hosting our own place back home on Airbnb. I know it's really easier than ever now, especially with the co host network. So you can hire a local co host to help manage everything while you're away, who creates the entire listing and handles all the reservations to the messaging, the guests and helping with design and styling. They're local, so they take care of all the on site details that would stress you out, which means you don't have to actually stress about any of the small stuff. Find a co host. Exactly. All you need to do is find a co [e-mail] host. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Shipped. Thanks for sponsoring the pod, y'. All. Ship makes the holiday season more joyful by helping you save time with same day delivery on everything you need. Groceries, decor, gifts, and so much more from your favorite local and national stores like Albertsons, Michaels, Target, and Petsmart. Great stores. I love that Shipped starts with groceries because let's be honest, no matter how many lists I make there, Jules, there's always something I forget every single time. And it's not just groceries. Okay? Shipped. It's just making gifting and hosting easy, easy, easy. No matter how many kids or what size army is trampling through your home this year. Plus, members get $0 delivery fees on orders over $35, and they offer same Day delivery. So I'm not spending my special family time in checkout lines like. Yeah, you're not either to either Jules, right?

[B]

Hallelujah. Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

Cassie G. From Female Footballers, which is a non profit. Love that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hi, Julie and Abby. First of all, love in the pod. And what is the one thing you would tell an up and coming coach about the social emotional development of of the athletes they coach? This is what my nonprofit Female Footballers does. But we'd love to hear from experts, put that in air quotes. Experts like you. I put it in air quotes. She said we were experts. Thank you so much. Cassie.

[A]

Cassie G. Okay, abs go emotionally, right? This is an opportunity for all of us. Like Julie, you and I did this a lot. It allowed us to work on our emotional responses to life, to the world, to chaos, to games, to problem solving, all of it. Losses, winning, the ups and downs of all of sport. You're dealing with the emotionality of that, but also you're internalizing it. And I think that sports is a really unique and beautiful way to develop all of these systems, all of the ways that we're interfacing with our world. And then when you get a coach who also understands it and puts the players in certain positions during practices to test their emotionality, to test their frustration, to put them in challenging environments, to allow those experiences inside of them to evolve, Right? Like when you get a group of kids into highly competitive situations and you say to them, this is gonna test you. I wanna see you compete. I wanna see what you're made of. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And sometimes I like to fake out that I'm putting fitness on the line. So I sometimes go and coach my daughter's young teeth and I'm like, winners get to get some water and the non winners have to do some sort of fitness and then they have to do like donkey kicks or you know, I'm a star sort of thing. But it's the experience of curating some sort of problem, some sort of situation that they have to figure out how to manage. Because all of this like when you're out in the field and you know this, Jules, like I was able to harness my emotion and tap into the expression of that, right? And honestly, sometimes I failed. I saw Red. My teammates were, like, yelling at me, ice, ice, stop. You know, And I'm just, like, running around.

[B]

That means ice in your veins. Calm down.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. I'm just running around fouling people. And in fact, actually, in 2011, prior to the Women's World cup, this is a little fun fact. Shannon Box came into my room, and I was just having a shit couple of days, like, terrible practice.

[B]

Prior to which World Cup?

[A]

The 2011 Women's World Cup.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

So I'm just not playing well. I'm not into it. I think that I know what's coming, and I'm, like, having this, like, decide decision, like, do I go or do I not? Do I give into it or do I not give into it? It's like that pre World Championship stuff that I psychologically, that I'm going. And Shannon Box had to come to my room and she sat down at the end of my bed. I'll never forget this. And she said, abby, what's been happening? What is going on? Because it's not good enough. And we need you to be better if we're going to do well in this tournament. You have to be. You have to be here, and you have to be better than you are. Like practices, you're lazy. You need to run, you need to defend. And if you're running and you're defending, you score goals, and we need you. And I just was like, damn, that's so good. Right? And so in that experience, I at.

[B]

Least had Shannon Box. A little intervention.

[A]

Yeah. And I had the. I had the opportunity to either take that on and really hear my good friend and teammate of many years, or I could have been like, fuck you, you know, and just, like, done my own thing.

[B]

Right?

[A]

But because I had been put in so many hundreds, thousands of environments by good coaches who challenged us on purpose so that we can take feedback, I was ready for that moment and I got my shit together. And, you know, 2011 Women's World cup kind of changed my life in a lot of ways. And I give a lot of credit to Shannon Box for stepping up and giving me good.

[B]

I've never heard Thrashing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've never heard that story. That's so good. And the way she did that, right? With care and concern, like, hey, come on, I know you and I know you have better than this. Right? Like, and. And we need you. That's always the thing, I think, that really resonates, like, we need you. It's not like, what is wrong with you? Why aren't you bringing it do not love this team. There's no accusation. It's like, hey, man, we need you.

[A]

We need you.

[B]

And I know you got better in you, so let's go. Where is that?

[A]

And that's the other thing. Jules, I want to hear what you say about Cassie's question. But the other side of this, Cassie, isn't just necessarily about coaches. It's also about teammates. Teammates are just as much of coach to all of us as the person standing in front of the team. Like, I sometimes got more inform information and I got better as a player because my teammates around me were coaching me. So that's also important.

[B]

Yeah, that's good. Good story. I would say, Cassie, the one thing I always think about with coaches, and again, it depends on the age, as Abby was pointing out, but the one thing that should be your North Star, when you're a coach or in a position as a parent, volunteer coaching or whatever your capacity is, you're teaching this person, is you are given this gift to be able to plant a seed on a daily basis. Because really think about it. When we spend probably more time with our coaches, especially as we get older in life in high school and college, than we do with some of our family members, right? And so you have this incredible opportunity to plant the seed about not just the sport and outcomes, about who you are and what you're building in these young humans. And so I would constantly think about it as. As Abby mentioned, it's an opportunity to teach them about life and who you are as a human and how empathetic you can be and what a great teammate you can be. These people are not going to play sports for the rest of their life. We hope they do. They'll play something. But a lot of people aren't going to go on to play Division 1 college soccer. Right. What are you teaching them about? Because that's what they need in terms of their social emotional development. How are you being a good teammate? How are you celebrating others? How are you taking care of others while competing with others? All such a great thing to learn about life because you're gonna have to compete, but you're also gonna have to collaborate. And the two can go hand in hand. They're not mutually exclusive.

[A]

Jules. Okay. You know that feeling when you find something so fundamentally amazing, you immediately text five of your best friends about it? Yeah, that is exactly what happened when I put on vuorie's Dream Knit performance.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

I also am. Am donning this sweatshirt that I was.

[B]

Just going to pull it's on the bed right behind me. I was just going to pull it over. I travel it.

[A]

My children are like, I love that. Where's that from? And I'm like, it's Vuri and it's mine. Hands off. Do not touch.

[B]

No, literally, I was wearing my Vori big hoodie sweatshirt. I'm gonna. I'm gonna pull it for you a second. Hold on. Stay. Oh, my God. Stay there, party people. This is worth it. I was wearing my big hooded sweatshirt. I can't put it on because I. I have my headphones in. But everyone was like, what is that? And I was like, yours. It's mine.

[A]

It's Yori.

[B]

And they're like, of course it's Vuor.

[A]

All of Yuri clothes are just unbelievably soft. Like, I can't even believe that these soft. These sweatshirts and these performance joggers are as soft as they are. And by the way, I've had some of these for four years. Still soft folks. And also, they still look like they're. I'm put together enough that I can even go outside and run errands or hop on a zoom or head to a workout without ever changing. I literally live in these performance joggers. Vori gets it. And we really want clothes that feel good and move with us and also still look great, because I just want to wear the same thing all day. I don't want to have to, like, change in and out of stuff, and I'm working out and I'm recording podcasts and I'm going for a walk and I'm doing things. I get to wear the dream knit fabric all day long because it's lightweight, it's breathable. It's seriously the smoothest material that I've ever worn, y'. All. I'm not even kidding. The versatility is next level. I've worn them to coach, to travel, to lounge, to dinners. It's just like, I love Vori so much. They just work. Vuori is an investment in your happiness. Okay. For our listeners, they are offering 20 off your first purchase.

[B]

Get it?

[A]

Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the [e-mail] welcome to the party. That's V-U-O-R-I.com welcome to the party. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Not only will you receive 20 off your first purchase, but enjoy. Free shipping on any US orders over 75 and free returns go to Vuori.com welcome to the party. And discover the Versatility of Vuori clothing exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

[B]

This is what I look like on the plane, FYI.

[A]

Okay, let's be honest. Most bras were designed by people who have never worn one. Okay. It was founded by women who were done settling for just good enough.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. These bras, jewels, actually solve real fit problems. Extra lift, no spillage, no digging. Just comfort that lasts all day. And they're made with high quality materials and even thermoregulating fabrics. So, Jules, you know us, we're getting towards that menopause.

[B]

I just want to say I. Yeah, I am so. Ability to appreciate. Yes, thank you.

[A]

Stay cool. And. And did you know that they have 60 plus sizes from double A to H, including the half cup sizes? Because, you know, our. Our boobs are just not the same size. You usually have one that's bigger than the other. It's like, so weird, but that's just the way it is.

[B]

Lopsided.

[A]

But they invented this for us in betweeners, right? So, seriously, half cups? How has nobody thought of this before?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Kind of unfair that it's taken this long. Thank you, third Love, for thinking of all of our boob sizes. Okay, so mine, the ones that I'm reaching for without even thinking they are that good. And if you can see me out in the wild, I am a hundred percent wearing one. And you can't see it because it's under my clothes. So I'm just going to tell you about it here instead. I promise I'm wearing them. Stop settling for average bras. Get solutions made for your body. Get $15 off your first [e-mail] with code podcast15. That is podcast15.

[B]

Thank you for not flashing us. This show is sponsored by Midi Health. Thank you, Midi Health and abs. I'll be honest, I used to think that I had my body down to a science, right? I knew what I needed, what it could handle, how to get back on track. And then. And then life threw at me. Perimenopause and menopause. And suddenly I was like, what is happening? Why did someone change the settings on me? I don't get it. Like, yep, temperature settings changed everything. I had all these symptoms, these questions, a lot of fog and no clear places to turn. And that's why many health becomes this absolutely game changer. Because they're actually bringing real expertise to the phase of life most women are expected to just, like, figure it out. Figure it out.

[A]

So annoying.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm like, what do you mean I don't even know what the hell this is? How am I supposed to figure it out?

[A]

Exactly?

[B]

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[A]

All right, let me read Susan B's Talented teenagers are being signed professionally now, and it seems a player's best chance for the U.S. women's National Team selection is to be in a professional system. Are the days of top players also being able to have a full college experience over? That seems a real shame. And I wonder what an upcoming strong student like Naomi Girma would have to choose in this day and age. What do you think about this, Jules? This is important.

[B]

I know. I love this question. It's so important and it's. Oh, it's something that I agonize over, actually. I, I do think, sadly, the days of top players having a full college experience is over. I just said it. Fudge. That hurts to say it, but I do think it's over. And that makes me very sad. Honestly, I have this talk all the time with Izzy and, and, and my daughter and who's now playing in college. Obviously we're seeing the college experience is very different thanks to Nil and transfer portals and all that. But you're seeing the kids are going younger and younger professionally. And I mean, when Lindsay Horan Heaps, now known as Lindsay Heaps, was one of the first to say, I'm not, I'm going to turn down a full ride at North Carolina and go play professionally in Europe. I was like, and this was what, like 15 years ago? I was like, what? Huh? How are you? How are you doing this? Maybe ten years ago, but this is how we're seeing that these professional teams are signing players at 15, 16, 17, and if you don't get into that system where you're playing on a consistent basis year round, they think that they're going to be left behind. So I get it. It just makes me really sad because I also think with the way our system is set up in the United States and the college system, that if you get into the right system and the right program, you can develop equally well. I just don't think it's the sexier thing to do. That's not the word I wanted, but you know what I'm saying.

[A]

I feel that the top, top players that are coming out of high school, I would say the top 10% will probably not finish their college careers. I think that they go pro before they turn, before they.

[B]

Before I think you can even argue the top 10% won't finish their high school careers.

[A]

I would.

[B]

They're going before they even finish.

[A]

I would probably go expand it to 10. You know, you've got, you've got a couple handful maybe, and out of the entirety of the players that are coming out of the club system and heading into college. But it's a numbers game, right? And I understand that. And I also understand that the college system is going to start to rival what the kids and the players might make in the NWSL or in foreign leagues. So the numbers game is interesting and I, and I get it, but at the end of the day, it's about development. And so every player is going to be different. For an example, I would never have done well had I been. If I had went professional too soon. Yeah, I needed the experience to develop. Like, for me personally, I didn't actually really start to develop until I was out of college, like until I got into the national team. Like, yeah, I was good. I had like, natural talent, but I was like, essentially like I had no fucking clue what I was doing. The thing that makes me sad, and this is like a bigger question around allegiance and who are we playing for? Conversation. I watch my kid, I watch her play in her club system and her club team. And I would say she plays hard and there's, there's like love for her club team. But then I see these kids play for their high school team and there's just something that's different about the responsibility that my kid has when she's playing on her high school team. The club system is so, it's so, it's so advanced and there's so many great players and the games are really close. You know, in the ECNL system and then in the high school system that she plays in, you know, she's like one of the best players and so she really loves it really buys into this idea that she's a part of this community, her high school. And so you get that feeling when you go and you play for college, but if you're, if you're not going straight away to college or you only play a year or two, I do think that there's this camaraderie and this vibe of staying and playing on one team for a long time that I think is going to suffer because of NIL and the transfer portal and players going off into to playing professional. It is. And I think that's, that's something that will suffer for sure.

[B]

Yeah, I agree and I, I hope people realize like there is just a small fraction that we're talking about in terms of losing the ability to have, you know, the full college experience. But if you think you're in that top 10% that's leaving, just make sure like that that's, that's legit. Because I'd hate for you to give up that full college experience and go on to the professional experience and go, this isn't at all what I wanted it to be. And sometimes you need that personal development of 3, 4 years at a college with these amazing women around you and teammates to fully realize who you are as a soccer player. And then you can still go on to have your professional experience and you're smarter and you're wiser and you've lived away from home for a bit in a really warm, welcoming, hopefully environment that college is. And I just look back on my college days and I was like, I wouldn't trade that for anything. Hell no. No way. I love, I love my college days so much. And my Stanford soccer group is still to this day so strong with how many of us hang out and, and our friends together still so good question. Susan B. We will do a full episode on this. We're going to dive into the NIL transfer portal, changing of schools stuff at some point for sure. But I think ABS that's going to wrap it for our Give the power to the party people. Great, great questions. Don't you agree, Abigail?

[A]

The, the greatest, the greatest questions we've ever heard. My daughter. So Ammo. Ammo. I just had to say this really quick. When Ammo was a little baby, she couldn't say her R's and so she. And then for some reason W's were weird so she couldn't say water. She would say Wadeo. Wadeo. And one day we were at a Restaurant.

[B]

Not even close.

[A]

Yeah, I know. And the waiter came over and was taking her order and she said, can I have some Wadeo? And the waiter, the server was like, what are you talking about? And she said, wadeo. And the server looked at her and she said, I have trouble saying my ahs. Please bring me a drink. We all have challenges. That's what she said. We all have challenges. And I have trouble saying my offs. And Glennon was like Glennon's child.

[B]

We all have challenges.

[A]

We all have challenges. And mine is saying my Oz. Anyways, there you have it, party people.

[B]

There you have it. All right, don't forget, if you want to see Abby's orange beanie, which is very cute, go to the welcome to the party YouTube channel and subscribe. So you can actually, actually watch the party and click on that little bell icon so that you get updates when episodes go live. And I hope your water comes back fine, abs.

[A]

I know, Dear me. I also hope you know, Jules, we. We mentioned at the top of this, but it. It really tickles us when people rate us on Apple podcasts. Come and join us. Follow us on Instagram, TikTok or wherever you get all of your social media. Listen to us on wherever you get your podcasts. We love you guys so much. And another shout out to our friend Kate Diaz for our theme music. She wrote and composed it herself.

[B]

Yes, Kate, wait. And one other thing. The email, if you want to send in your questions and be read on. On another Give the Power to the Party People episode. Remember, it's party people questionsmail.com and do the party people.

[A]

Jules, I just want to say this to the party people. Know that they might hear Julie or Abby in the theme song. Also, we did some renditions.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, true. We. Yeah, we're gonna have to. We have to give them renditions. We have to get. You know, we need to add. We need to add the ending, which we also did, which was like. Attention, party people. Attention, party people. The party is now over. Pick up your and go home. But we love you. Don't forget, we love you. We did a bunch of those that we haven't used as outros. We should do that. Party people, the party is over. Please sweep the floors, cuz Abby is not.

[A]

The party is now over. All right, you guys. All right.

[B]

You want to do usa Put your paw in. All right, wherever you are, stop what you're doing. Party people, hands to the middle on three. One, two, three.

[A]

Usa. Usa. Welcome to welcome to the Party is an independent production brought to you by Treat Media. Treat Media makes art for humans who want to stay human. Silver Tribe is our production partner and you can also watch our full conversations on the welcome to the party YouTube channel and follow us at welcome to the Party show on Instagram and TikTok.

[B]

Party people, the party is officially over.