What Makes a Great Coach?

Summary

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Welcome to the Party – Episode Summary

Episode: What Makes a Great Coach?

Release date: October 9, 2025
Hosts: Abby Wambach, Julie Foudy, with call-in from Coach Kathy "Ms. Bouton" Bouton
Podcast Mission: Celebrate and elevate women’s sports by building a party-like, inclusive community.

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Overview

This heartfelt and high-energy episode centers on the life-changing influence of great coaches. Inspired by Abby’s high school coach Kathy Bouton's Hall of Fame induction, Abby and Julie discuss the qualities, moments, and philosophies that make an exceptional coach. Together with Coach Bouton and their own stories, they explore how coaches shape not only sports performance, but also personal growth and team culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kickoff: Why Coaches Matter

• Abby shares personal news of her high school coach's Hall of Fame induction and reflects on not being able to attend (01:16–02:38).
• Julie and Abby decide to call Coach Bouton live, making her the show’s first-ever phone-in guest (03:42–04:13).

2. The Power of Coach Kathy Bouton

• Abby highlights Coach Bouton's foundational role in shaping her athletic and personal life through “steadiness, toughness, and the ability to create the team environment” (04:19–05:27).

  "I really don't know if there could have been a more important person at the time of life that you were my coach..." —Abby Wambach (04:19)

• Coach Bouton speaks on her pride in coaching Abby, her own humble beginnings, and predicts Abby’s Olympic success back in 9th grade (05:51–06:46).

  "When you're coaching someone of that caliber, number one, you don't want to mess them up...I never even played soccer. I had to learn the game." —Coach Bouton (06:14)

3. Favorite Abby Stories: Lessons in Discipline and Playfulness (07:37–09:02)

• Coach Bouton recounts memorable tales of Abby’s precociousness and discipline as a young athlete—being too loud, getting kicked out of practice, and being made to run laps for giggling fits.

  "You were very precocious, very obnoxious...I pulled the van over. And I got your butt to the front seat." —Coach Bouton (07:37)

• Both laugh over Abby’s scrawny youth and how she had to work on being a good teammate, not just a star (09:16–09:28).

4. What Makes a Great Coach: Coach Bouton's Advice (09:32–11:52)

• Julie asks for Coach Bouton's advice to new coaches:
  • Define your own coaching philosophy—and stick with it.
  • Be consistent, treat all players equally regardless of ability.
  • Focus on building character and relationships within the team.

  "Once I had my philosophy, I stuck to it. No parent could make me change it. No athlete could make me change it...you got treated equal." —Coach Bouton (10:09)

• Emphasis on everyone’s contribution, whether star or support.

  "You may be great at this, you may be great at that...but you're part of us." —Coach Bouton (11:12)

5. Coaching as Family and Influence

• Reflection on the immense, lifelong impact of coaches who become family, and how their influence extends far beyond wins and losses (15:39–16:45).

  "You think about the amount of time a coach gets with a student or athlete...is enormous." —Julie Foudy (15:50)

6. Legendary Coaches and Their Philosophies

• Julie recalls the joyful, family-oriented culture created by Tony DeCicco with the USWNT (17:18–21:04).

  "Tony stood for family. He stood for joy...He would literally come to the field, and when you have a coach that brings this incredible energy every single day, that is a gift." —Julie Foudy (17:18)

• Abby credits Jerry Smith (Santa Clara) with giving her a career-changing piece of hard truth about the need to improve her fitness (23:49–25:18).

  "It was the first time that a coach showed up to me with some real hard facts. Basically, you're lazy, Abby..." —Abby Wambach (23:49)

7. Transformative Coaching: Pia Sundhage & Mental Seeds (26:03–32:30)

• Abby shares how Pia Sundhage, through quirky musical leadership and persistent affirmations, inspired her to embody being the best player in the world.

  "For the entirety of 2011, she came up to me before every single practice, Jules, and she would whisper in my ear: '2011, best player in the world.'" —Abby Wambach (29:06)

• The results: Abby credits Pia’s belief for her legendary ’11 World Cup moments and later winning FIFA World Player of the Year, alongside Pia’s FIFA Coach of the Year award (2012).

8. Shout-Out: Emma Hayes' Modern Coaching Mastery (34:12–38:13)

• Julie celebrates Emma Hayes’ impact, methods, and personal touch, seeing parallels to legends like Pia and Tony.

  "She was able to, in eight sessions and four games, take this team to the Olympics with enough confidence and...joy." —Julie Foudy (37:41)

• The importance of joy, trust, and character for team success—Hayes’ karaoke machine example stands out.

9. Final Reflections: Why Coaching Matters

• Coaches matter for life, not just sport. Coaches plant seeds that often sprout long after playing days are over (38:13–41:05).
• Reach out and thank the coaches who shaped you.

  "Let this serve as a reminder to reach out to the people and the coaches in your life that have moved you and tell them..." —Abby Wambach (39:26)

• Call for greater investment in coaching pipelines, especially for women.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• Abby Wambach (on Coach Bouton):

  "Your steadiness, your toughness, and your ability to create the team environment..." (04:19)

• Coach Kathy Bouton:

  "When you're coaching someone of that caliber...I never even played soccer. I had to learn the game." (06:14) "Once I had my philosophy, I stuck to it...you got treated equal." (10:09)

• Julie Foudy (on Tony DeCicco):

  "Tony stood for family. He stood for joy...He would literally come to the field, and...that is a gift." (17:18)

• Abby Wambach (on Jerry Smith):

  "It was the first time a coach showed up to me with some real hard facts. Basically, you’re lazy, Abby." (23:49)

• Abby Wambach (on Pia Sundhage):

  "She would whisper in my ear: '2011, best player in the world.'" (29:06)

• Julie Foudy (on coaching impact):

  "You think about the amount of time a coach gets with a student or athlete...is enormous." (15:50)

• Julie Foudy (on Emma Hayes):

  "She was able to...take this team to the Olympics with enough confidence and, and freedom and joy." (37:41)

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Memorable Moments

• Live call with Coach Kathy Bouton (03:42–12:34): Emotional, genuine gratitude and laughs over past Abby mischief.
• Pia Sundhage serenading the team with Bob Dylan (26:28–27:42): Cultural shock and appreciation for music in leadership.
• Emma Hayes’ karaoke machine in the athletes’ room (37:44): The power of fun and levity even at the highest stakes.

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Takeaways

• The best coaches blend consistency, equal treatment, and genuine care for every player.
• Great coaching is about planting seeds—of belief, discipline, joy, family, and possibility.
• Don’t wait to thank a coach who changed your life.
• Coaching isn’t just about sports—it’s shaping character and community for a lifetime.

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Suggested Listening Order

• [00:01–03:42] – Opening banter, episode setup
• [03:42–12:34] – Call with Coach Bouton: gratitude, stories, advice
• [15:39–25:18] – Reflections on coaching impact, stories of Tony DeCicco & Jerry Smith
• [26:03–32:30] – The leadership of Pia Sundhage
• [34:12–38:13] – Emma Hayes’ fresh take and modern coaching success
• [38:13–41:05] – Final thoughts: coaching’s lifelong effects

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This episode is a must-listen for anyone who’s ever had—or ever wants to be—a coach, player, or grateful teammate. Celebrate the coaches who made you!

Transcript

[Julie Foudy]

She's sending you to voicemail.

[Abby Wambach]

This will be so funny.

[Julie Foudy]

She sends you to voicemail.

[Abby Wambach]

Hello? Oh, here she is.

[Julie Foudy]

She made it.

[Abby Wambach]

Here she is. Coach, it's Abby.

[Julie Foudy]

Attention.

[Abby Wambach]

The party is about to commence.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Welcome to the party.

[Julie Foudy]

What's up, party people?

[Abby Wambach]

What's up?

[Julie Foudy]

I'm Julie.

[Abby Wambach]

I'm Julie Foudy.

[Julie Foudy]

Who are you?

[Abby Wambach]

I'm Abby Wambach.

[Julie Foudy]

You are Abby Wambach. You are Abigail? Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

I just want to say, I just. I was trying to be silly and fun and who knows if it comes across? But we really do want to welcome you, the party people. We're so appreciative of you coming on this journey with us. We have had the most fun doing this little show. And honestly, like, it's just been such a joy to come and get to talk to you, Jules, all the time. And today, a very, really serious, cool thing is happening in my personal life.

[Julie Foudy]

Do tell. Do tell. What is it?

[Abby Wambach]

So my. There's a Hall of Fame induction at my high school today, and I. I couldn't get there for various reasons.

[Julie Foudy]

All the way across the country.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. Because Glennon's traveling today, and I needed to stay home because we have children and you have to take care of children. Evidently. And my coach, Kathleen Bouton, we called her lady when we played. That's a weird thing to say. Or Ms. Boughton. So if I say Ms. Bouton, it's just by habit, and she is getting inducted into my high school's hall of Fame now. No way. This coach was such an important influence in my life, Julie. She coached me for not only soccer, but also basketball. And, like.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, my gosh. Both.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. And, like, the pod squad knows I was also pretty good at basketball. She led us to do the part.

[Julie Foudy]

People know that, though. I. I think so. We have talked about it.

[Abby Wambach]

We have talked about it. Yeah. But she. Since I couldn't be there tonight in person, I wanted to make this day somehow special for her. And I thought. I thought, let's talk about our coaches, you know? Like.

[Julie Foudy]

You know what, though? You should, like, call her.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. I mean, do you think I should?

[Julie Foudy]

Yes. What time is the. What time is the actual ceremony?

[Abby Wambach]

Okay. Wait, are you serious? You. That.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah, it's. Right now, it's 1245 on the west coast that we're recording this. So it's 3 and it's 3:45, and it's like she's got.

[Abby Wambach]

She's got a little time.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, let me.

[Julie Foudy]

Come on, try it. See if she picks up.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay.

[Julie Foudy]

She's gonna be like, abby, are you here? She knows you're not coming, right?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

Does she think you're coming?

[Abby Wambach]

No, she. She thinks.

[Julie Foudy]

Okay. She knows.

[Abby Wambach]

Let's see. Okay, what if she sends me in a voicemail? Can you. You hear this? Yes.

[Julie Foudy]

She's going to send you to voicemail. He's sending you to voicemail.

[Abby Wambach]

This will be so funny.

[Julie Foudy]

She sends you to voicemail.

[Abby Wambach]

Hello? Oh, here she is.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, she made it. Here she is.

[Abby Wambach]

Coach, it's Abby.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Where the hell have you been?

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, so I just want. Just as a disclaimer, I just want to disclaim this. You are on a podcast recording with Julie and I. You can't hear her, so I'm going to have to repeat everything that she says to you. Coach. But you are. You are now our first caller into our podcast show. Phone a friend.

[Julie Foudy]

Phone a Hall of Fame coach.

[Abby Wambach]

We're phoning a friend. And I just wanted to call you.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Today on the Millionaire show.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

You need me to answer a question?

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, my God. I love Coach already. I love Coach already.

[Abby Wambach]

You do need to answer a question. But I just wanted to say before we get into any of that, we won't keep you very long. I know you have a lot of festivities and people around you right now, but I just wanted to say that from the bottom of my heart, I really don't know if there could have been a more important person at the time of life that. You were my coach. I was from seventh grade all the way till my senior year. You coached both my soccer and. And basketball teams. Um, and I just think that, like, your steadiness, your toughness, and your ability to create the team environment and your ability to bring all of us together and actually, like, bond as a team, it was foundational to the way that I operated in all of the teams that I played on after that. And I just wanted to tell you that, personally, I know that you're going to have a lot of fun tonight. You absolutely have. I don't know why it took them so long to induct you into this hall of Fame, because you absolutely deserve this.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Well, when I left, they dropped it. Remember, I started it and you got in that. You were the last one in a. Yeah. And then, unfortunately, I left Mercy, and they never reinstated it or re established it. So it's been 25 years.

[Abby Wambach]

So this is the first time they're re establishing the hall of Famer. And of course it would be you because you were the one that started it.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

I tried my best, but I Want to just tell you that I. I mean, it made my life to coach you, and it's the one thing that I'm just so proud of. And when you're coaching someone like you, I mean, I don't know if you remember, but years and years ago, probably you were in maybe ninth grade. And I told the sports reporter, I said, she's going to be an Olympian someday.

[Abby Wambach]

You.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

And I knew it. And I think I still have that recording. And when you're coaching someone of that caliber, number one, you don't want to mess them up. Number two, remember, I never even played soccer. I had to learn the game. And number three, I didn't really need to work on your physical skills. You had everything you needed. You were God given. But I'm hoping that the character attributes are the things that helped you in your whole life now.

[Abby Wambach]

Absolutely, they were. And, Julie, you had a question. You wanted to ask her out.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. I'll repeat it because coach can't hear me again, but, coach, first off, tell her congratulations.

[Abby Wambach]

Congratulations. Julie saying congratulations, first off.

[Julie Foudy]

And tell her thank you.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

I'm very humbled by it. It was my players, not me.

[Julie Foudy]

Believe me, I agree.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Athletes.

[Julie Foudy]

Tell her I'm so happy that she picked up your call because I might have sent you to voicemail. And second, if. What, like, favorite Abby story? I mean, there's got to be, like, 7,000 of them, but favorite Abby story.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, Ms. Bowton, she's saying, congratulations. You absolutely deserve it. She's so grateful that you're on the show. And she wants to know what your absolute favorite Abby story is. If you have one. And it doesn't have to be about soccer. It can be funny.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Yeah, they're very funny. I probably have two. I remember once we were in the van. She was in eighth grade. And you were very precocious, very obnoxious. And you were in the back, I think, with Kelly and Gina, maybe. And you were so loud, so obnoxious. I told you to calm down a hundred times. I finally. I don't know if you remember, I pulled the van over.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

And I got your butt to the front seat. And then I think there was another time. Did I kick you out of practice and send you home?

[Abby Wambach]

Yes, you did kick me out of practice.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

I sent you home.

[Abby Wambach]

I think you did.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, I did.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

There was another time, I think you and somebody. I just made run forever.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. Okay.

[Julie Foudy]

It was just run.

[Abby Wambach]

That was a bad thing.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

I shouldn't have done that.

[Abby Wambach]

No, it was me and. And Shaa. What was her Last name? Do you remember?

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Sellner.

[Abby Wambach]

Sellner. Me and Shaa Sellner, we were in. We had a case of the giggles.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

And, yeah, she did.

[Abby Wambach]

And Coach Boughton, she was like, you guys run. And so she made us run in opposite directions around the field, but we would meet each other halfway, and so we would start laughing. And so Ms. Bouton was like, get out. Get out of practice. And she kicked me out of practice. I think I was a freshman or sophomore. And I was. I remember getting down to the parking lot being like, well, what do I do now? Like.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Home and tell your mother?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, I went home. Of course I didn't tell my mother, but I'm sure you did.

[Julie Foudy]

Why are you at practice? That's so weird, because Abby's never, never like that with the national team at all. That's so weird.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Does she know how scrawny you were in seventh grade? Did you play jv?

[Abby Wambach]

I was scrawny, yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

Abby in the same sentence. Never heard of it.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

Knocked over. People would just shove you and you'd be gone.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, my gosh.

[Julie Foudy]

Wait, one last question.

[Abby Wambach]

One last question.

[Julie Foudy]

I know she's going to get inducted, so thank you. Thank you. Thank you for doing this. What advice? I mean, you've been at this a very long time and have done multiple sports and influenced all these lives, and you're just hearing one with Abby. But what advice would you give to a young coach who's deciding if she wants to get into coaching?

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, Julie's asking what advice? You've had hundreds of athletes that you've had an impact and students that you've had impact on. What is some advice for a young coach who's just starting out right now. What would you give them as advice?

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

My advice is to sit down with yourself and decide what your philosophy is going to be. And once you start that philosophy and you know it's working, if it's not working, you got to sit down, like, with a senior coach, someone like me, and figure out why it's not working. But I sat down with my high school coach when I began, and we had different philosophies. But once I had my philosophy, I stuck to it. No parent could make me change it. No athlete could make me change it, because I was stubborn, but I think it made me consistent. I didn't care if you were the star or you were the worst kid on the team. You got treated equal.

[Abby Wambach]

That is true. And. And I can attest to that. I can attest to that. And it made me understand the importance of teammates and having the relationships with your teammates, Especially when I. Because I was one of the better players. Like, they needed to pass me the ball, and nobody's going to pass me the ball if they don't like me. Yeah, right.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

And you also were so nice to them. I think you have to. You have to tell kids, you know what? You may be great at this, you may be great at that. You might be an average soccer player, but you're part of us.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

And it matters. It matters whether you're on the bench doing something or. It matters if you give somebody a pat on the back or they're having a bad day. I think we were like a big family.

[Abby Wambach]

Yep.

[Julie Foudy]

Yes.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

And it continued year after year because kids, like, coming into the school or looking to go to school there. They saw that. They saw it on the field. They saw us off the court. They saw our reputation, our good character, and I think it totally matters.

[Abby Wambach]

All right, well, I'm going to let you go get your awards and your hall of Famer. Do they. Do they give you, like, a trophy for it? Because I've got my hall of Famer trophy over here from U.S. soccer.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

They're giving us plaques, but you will also. They're. They're doing a wall now. They're going to unveil tonight, so you will also be on the wall.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, nice. Okay, well, we're giving her a cheer. Julie's giving you a cheer. And I am sorry that I cannot be there in person, but I think that this might be the second best thing, because this. This episode will live forever, and we won't tell her.

[Julie Foudy]

Congrats, coach.

[Abby Wambach]

I love you so much, Kath. Have the best night. Congratulations. You deserve to celebrate so big with everybody. Love.

[Coach Kathy Bouton]

All right, love you. Bye.

[Abby Wambach]

Bye.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, she picked up. Yes, Coach. Kathy Bouton, Mercy High School hall of Fame. Let's go, abs. That's awesome.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, she's cute.

[Abby Wambach]

All right. So, Jules, you know that us athletes, we. We know a lot about clothing. We have to, because. Yeah. After so many years in such specific high performance clothing, and in the early years, it wasn't very high performance. I now have extremely strong feelings about everything from fabric to cuff height to breathability.

[Julie Foudy]

Wait, let me just interject real quick and tell you how. How much I know about fabric. Because it was like you talking about the old days. It was like heavy cotton that, like, you. If you sweated in it, you had these. Remember those big gray, like, sweat marks? Because it was so thick and rough.

[Abby Wambach]

The worst. And it was like.

[Julie Foudy]

It was like an extra 10 pounds on your body, by the way, FYI.

[Abby Wambach]

And that's why I love Vuorie's Dream Knit performance jogger, honestly. They somehow figured out how to make parts of that feel like pajamas, but still look like I'm put together enough to wear anywhere. And when I'm on the road, it's what I travel in. When I walk the dog, it's what I walk them in when I'm going to meetings, when I'm having coffee, when I'm just relaxing on the couch with my family. The magic is in Vuori's dream knit fabric. It's unbelievable. Have you felt it, Jules? It's lightweight, it's soft, it stretches with you. Lots of pairs, but it seems to never lose its shape, no matter how many times you wash it, no matter where you wear it, no matter how much you sweat in it or try to ruin these. These clothes, they don't ruin.

[Julie Foudy]

No, no. And they're so light and airy that when you're actually working out on them. I was just running on the tread the other day when I was traveling, and they're great travel clothes, by the way, because you just roll them up and they're in. I actually felt like I had nothing on. I mean, it was just like, oh, my gosh, it's so light and airy and beautiful. Like, I just. I actually run on a treadmill again. Oh, my God. Okay, so Vuori is an investment. Yes. In your happiness. And for all our listeners, this is the really co are offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable clothes and versatile clothing on the [e-mail] welcome to the party. That's V O R I dot com. Welcome to the party. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. And not only abs will all our listeners receive that 20% off their first purchase, but you're going to enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75. And I love this free returns. So go to vuori.comwelcometotheparty and discover the versatility of Vuori. Clothing exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

[Abby Wambach]

Do you have any coaches in your life that were really extraordinary slash meaningful? Taught you something special about yourself that made you into who you are?

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. And this is why I, like, so love that you just did that, because it shows you the impact that coaches have on players. And you think about it, right, and how important this profession is. You think about the amount of time a coach gets with a student or athlete or in high school, in college, they're spending more time on the field and in meetings, in sessions with the team than you are with your family members. Even so, the impact you can have on a daily basis on a child and their growth and of course, not just their sport, but who they are as a human being is enormous. And it's why we should talk about when we have coaches in our lives that influence us and really meaningful ways we should celebrate them. Because as we know, being a coach is frigate. Hard. It is hard.

[Abby Wambach]

It's hard.

[Julie Foudy]

It is really hard.

[Abby Wambach]

And especially nowadays where parents are all up in their business.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, yeah. And. And they're constantly in their ears and they're talking to them. So it's hard. And I. And I feel coaches for that. But I just wish we were in a situation too, where we were creating a bigger pipeline. We will get into this a little bit at the end, just for more women to get into coaching. Yeah. But of course, the. The one. When you talk about someone who has left an immeasurable impact on my life. Tony Dechicco. Right. When you think about R.I.P.

[Abby Wambach]

Tony.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. And. And Tony was our U.S. women's National Team coach from 94. 1994 to 99. We won an Olympics with him in 96. We won, of course, the 1999 World cup with him. And then sadly, he passed a cancer in 2017. But Tony, when you talk, Kathy was saying, like, figure out what you know you want as a coach. That's the advice she would give. Who you are, what you. What you stand for. Tony stood for family. He stood for joy. He would literally come to the field, and when you have a coach that brings this incredible energy every single day, that is a gift. I don't think I realized it at the time, but it's an absolute gift. He would show up and it would be, you know, another day. We trained for six months together before an Olympics. This is pre professional league days. So the national team did these big, long residential stays together. So we were living in Florida before the 96 Olympics, and it would be, you know, like one of those days where you're like, God, another day together right on the grass. And he would show up and. But it would be a gorgeous day in January, and he. The freshly cut grass. And he. He'd be like, I love my job. Before we started practice, and what would we do? We would turn around and go, so do we. We love our jobs. And you're like, oh, my God. It's this perspective of here we are. Goes back to. Is being a professional athlete hard? Yes or no? Like the idea. Maybe this is where I get the idea of it being a gift is Tony set that tone of this is a gift, what we're doing. And yes, it's hard, and yes, it's a toil and it's demanding, but, oh, my God. And so he. And he was always bringing us together. Dinners at his house, his whole family of four boys and fabulous wife Diane had to move down to Orlando and live with us all. And so it just. It created this incredible family unit, trusting unit and equally important, joyful unit. And that was Tony DeCicco.

[Abby Wambach]

That's so interesting. That's exactly how I felt when I came in as a really young player on the national team. He was the coach.

[Julie Foudy]

Did you ever get a play under him?

[Abby Wambach]

No, I never got to play under him. He was, like, always watching our youth national team things as the head coach of the senior women's team in, like, the late 90s. And because he. After the 99 World cup, did he step down or did they just hire April?

[Julie Foudy]

They just decided that, you know, we're good. He was not very happy with the decision, nor were we. They were like, we're good. We're going on to another coach. This is when we were having all these fights with us soccer.

[Abby Wambach]

Right, Right.

[Julie Foudy]

And so they felt like, I think he was a little too compliant with us. I'm like, what? We basically told him, tony, this isn't your fight to get in the middle of. Please don't get in the middle of it. It's not your fight. And he. So he just stayed out of it. Right. As he should. Anyways, that's a whole nother podcast, sister.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, and, you know, it is a whole nother podcast, and we will go there. We will get into it one day. Yeah. He just seemed like an incredible coach bringing you guys together. But the thing, overall, thing that I felt when I came into the national team, first and foremost, and I think that it's so lovely that it was kind of crafted and coke and co created by Tony, one of the legend, legendary coaches of the game, that is how I felt like you guys were. I was like, you guys feel like you're family. It's not just teammates. It was like, really a family vibe, which was really beautiful.

[Julie Foudy]

Anson started that as well, but, man, Tony ran with it. Right. And I think just time together, like, that really helps. I mean, obviously now they come in for a week or two, they don't get the six Months like that. That's very. What about you in terms of other coaches that impacted you?

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, okay. Well, this, this is kind of an interesting, fun little story. I feel like Jerry Smith, who is the Santa Clara University women's soccer coach and has been for 39 seasons.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh my gosh, is that how long it's been? It's go, Jerry.

[Abby Wambach]

It's just incredible. And he still loves it and he's still coaching there. And my kid is going to be going and playing soccer there next season, which is wild.

[Julie Foudy]

Let's.

[Abby Wambach]

He happened to be the U21 back in the day when U21 was an age group for the youth national teams. He was my coach. And so I got called into camp and during one of our one on one sessions that almost every single camp you get called into, you have a one on one session with the coach where they sit you down and they tell you what they think about you and they give you some help and, or advice to help you progress and become better. And he sat me down and he said, I'll never forget it. We're. We're in Chula Vista in the dining hall. And he said, all right, look, what I'm going to tell you is not what I'm going to tell probably anybody else here, but I do think it's going to matter. And what I'm going to tell you is if you were to spend the next three months completely focusing only on your fitness and getting extremely fit, you're probably going to get called into the national team and then you're probably also going to score a lot of goals for this country on the senior women's national team. And I had this moment in my body. I'll never forget this moment because it was the first time that a coach showed up to me with some real hard facts. Basically, you're lazy, Abby. Basically, you got a lot of natural, raw talent. You've got this thing that you can't teach, but it's not. You're underutilizing the thing because you can't get. You don't have enough mobility around the field. You're tired. You're focusing on your, your, your fitness and your tiredness during a game rather than just being free and playing. And if you're free and playing, you're scoring goals. And so it was the first time somebody offered me this kind of critique at maybe the most important time in my life. I think I was like late junior year. And so I spent the next couple of months just training so hard.

[Julie Foudy]

Wait. So I Was just going to say, how did you take it?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

I mean, someone gives you kind of that hard information.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. It was a tough conversation. And I had the choice. I could say, okay, screw him, or I wonder. There was a lot of truth in it. Like, there was no arguing with him. Like, yeah, I did the very least amount that I needed to. I would get fit for seasons, and then I would get unfit. And it was just this roller coaster that I would. That would get on. But if I actually started to prioritize my fitness and make that my job and then let the soccer be the fun part, that's what I. That's what I ended up doing. So I spent the next three, four months training as hard as I could at school. And, you know, I got. I got a trainer. I revamped my diet. I revamped the way that. The mentality. Right. It was like the way that I approached the game just had to change. And I did it. And I got called in in 2001, in September.

[Julie Foudy]

So this is when you're how old?

[Abby Wambach]

Like, 18, 21. I was 21.

[Julie Foudy]

So you're. You're just in the middle of college.

[Abby Wambach]

Finishing college, 20, 21 years old. And then as soon as I got called into the national team, I guess the rest, as it says, history, but, you know, it was a good couple years before I stabilized as, like, a constant member on the senior team. But it was that advice that I took, and it was that bravery from him that he gave me that advice that ended up actually being the thing that changed my life. I love Jerry. He's the best.

[Julie Foudy]

I love that.

[Abby Wambach]

Who else do you want to go? I think you got to go.

[Julie Foudy]

No, you go, and then I'll. I'll give you my last one at the end.

[Abby Wambach]

All right. So first and foremost, I have had. And also, people don't come at us. We have had great coaches. Just because we're talking about a couple doesn't mean this excludes so many coaches that I've had. I mean, from Jill Ellis to Becky Burleigh, Big influence in college. But I'm going to choose to talk about one person who had an extraordinary impact, not just on my playing career, but as a human being. Pia Sundahaga from Sweden. She was the head coach of our women's national team from 2008 to 2012.

[Julie Foudy]

And played on the Swedish national team before that for many years. She was my era playing. She was a good player.

[Abby Wambach]

She was a baller. A baller. Baller. She also. She was a coach for us. When we won two Olympic gold medals. And it's. Nobody knows this story, which I'm. I can't believe I'm going to tell you this.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, yes. Yay.

[Abby Wambach]

Two things.

[Julie Foudy]

One, okay.

[Abby Wambach]

She played us a song on her with her guitar in her mouth at her very first national team camp. These Times are Changing. A Bob Dylan song. We thought she was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. We were like, this person is not serious. She doesn't take soccer seriously. What is. What are we gonna do? We're screwed. That was kind of how we felt when she started playing the song. But there was also something that happened throughout the rest of the song when.

[Julie Foudy]

She literally got up in front of the team with her guitar, because, mind you, this is a player who. When. When she was playing at. Back in the day, we used to have these banquets with all the teams coming together. This is so old school. You have, like, these, you know, where they'd feed us dinner and then.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, Pia.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. All together. And it's, like, so awkward because you're with all these other teams that you really don't like. Right. Or you don't want to like.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

And then Pia would get up there with her guitar as a player and start playing at these banquets, and we were like, yo, what is up with this guy? She's amazing. And she was really good. And I, of course, was like, I love her. This is amazing. So you thought, oh, she's crazy. Yeah, I guess if a coach does that in their very first meeting and.

[Abby Wambach]

Your very first meeting, you're like, you're playing an instrument. We're here to do soccer. Right. And we kind of fancied ourselves, like, kind of a big deal, right? This is 2008, and as soon as she starts playing, we're kind of, like, looking at each other by the end of the song, because we realized, oh, no, she's serious about this music thing. We came to learn about Pia and her personality and her very much big love of. Of music and her very much big love of soccer and how it was really important to her to bring those two worlds together in every way that she possibly could. So she was always whistling, always singing. She'd be, like, setting up training, you know, drills and. And. And cones and whatnot. And she'd be like, with literally whistling while she worked because she just had such a love affair with music in the way that it inspired her and a lot. And the other thing I want to talk about with her, which was probably the most important leadership advice and. Or modeling that I have ever witnessed for the entirety of 2011. She came up to me before every single practice, Jules. And she would whisper in my ear, 2011, best player in the world.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, no way.

[Abby Wambach]

And at first when she started to do that, I'm like, yeah, right, like, whatever. Because that's not something that I focused any of my energy on or any time thinking about it was like, all I cared about was winning World cup because it was the World cup year.

[Julie Foudy]

Right, Right.

[Abby Wambach]

And she would just. She was relentless. She just did this every once in a while, every single camp, she'd go, 2011, Abby Wambach, best player in the world. And I'd like. And over time, what ended up happening was I started thinking, huh, I wonder if that could even be possible. I wonder if that could even be something that could be in. In my future. I wonder if I could have such an incredibly outrageously successful World cup that that could be possible. Right, so fast forward, we lose.

[Julie Foudy]

So she put it into your. She planted the seed in your mind. You were kind of like thinking, just big, big picture team World Cups. You weren't thinking, I could be the best player.

[Abby Wambach]

Exactly, exactly. And what she was saying was exactly wanted to do. She was saying, if you are the best player, we are the best team. That's what she was saying. And that was something that I really had to embody and embrace as a responsibility, as something that I could handle and that I could carry. And she started it from the very first camp in January of 2011. So fast forward to the tournament. We end up unfortunately losing penalty kicks to Japan. However, we have an incredible run. We have this incredible game against Brazil. I think a lot of the listeners remember the game in 2011 where I scored that late header. I totally.

[Julie Foudy]

Quarterfinal.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, I totally agree.

[Julie Foudy]

Talking about it the other day.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, that that header only happens if Pia is planting that seed 10 months prior.

[Julie Foudy]

That's exactly what I went to. When you said. She said that to you in your ear, I was like, oh, my gosh, that was the year that she scored that. Rapinoe flies it across. We were just talking about that when the Brazilian keeper came out and you just calmly, boom, yeah, equalizer. That sent it to extra time. And then you won a PKS.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. And unfortunately I didn't end up winning the 2011 Player of the year. I, Homari Sawa won it that year because she scored the game winning goal in the. In the final.

[Julie Foudy]

She was amazing.

[Abby Wambach]

She was the best player in the tournament and I was the second best player in the tournament. And. And in 2011. Nope, sorry. 2012, after the Olympics, I was named the best player in the year. And also Coach Psundahaga was also named the 2012 FIFA Coach of the Year. It was one of the best nights of my life because I got to celebrate what was such a heartbreak, having felt like we were so close because I think I came two or three in 2011 after that world cup and we were just so heartbroken. But then we were able to win the Olympics in 2012, and then we were able to bring home the hardware for that achievement in 2012, both. Both for country coach and player of the year.

[Julie Foudy]

No way. That's awesome. Did you say, hey, you were just off by one year? It was so close. You almost had it.

[Abby Wambach]

I know. You were almost the same.

[Julie Foudy]

Almost there.

[Abby Wambach]

It's so easy to postpone our mental health, delaying the support we so desperately need. And I've done it a million times, knowing something was off, but thinking I could just get through it when things finally cooled down. Right? And honestly, feeling that way made more sense then therapy used to feel too expensive, too complicated, or just impossible to fit into real life. Grow Therapy is designed to change just that. They're insurance friendly, affordable and easy to understand. And I think therapy is a must. Not only just for me, but I think it's a must for everybody. And so, so many people out there. Good therapists can make all the difference in weathering the storms of life. Grow Therapy is really innovating in the space. No subscriptions, no long term commitments, just support that fits your life and your budget. And with thousands of licensed therapists across the US you can filter by what matters to you. Insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. Whatever challenges you're facing, Grow Therapy is here to help. Sessions average about $21 with insurance and some pay as little as zero depending on their plan. Visit growtherapy.com welcome to the party. Today to get started, that's growth therapy.com/Welcome to the party. Growtherapy.com welcome to the party. Availability and coverage may vary by state and insurance plan. Jules, who else you got on your list?

[Julie Foudy]

Well, this is one Pia reminds me a lot of Emma Hayes, actually. Yeah, and that was one. I've never been coached by Emma, but having watched her from the sideline and getting a front row seat to all these games, I call and we sit with her in meetings all the time. I mean she's so gracious with her time with the broadcasting crew of like literally, she'll, she'll pull out her whiteboard like I do with these, and she'll scribble all the different things they're working on and trying. And I mean, it's just like, you just sit there and go, oh, my gosh. But beyond that, like, we know she's really good with the X's and O's and the tactics of it all. The thing that so impresses me with her, I mean, mind you, this is a woman who took over the U.S. women's National Team after having coached at Chelsea and won 16 trophies at Chelsea and seven Women's Super League titles and five. Five FA Cups. And. Right. Like, she was so successful and had spent much of her career even though she had been here with our first league. You had her, Abby, as an assistant. Right.

[Abby Wambach]

She was a consultant for the Washington Freedom. Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

Which is crazy.

[Abby Wambach]

And she was great. I just remember because, you know, this is. God, I don't even know what year. 2013. No, 2008.

[Julie Foudy]

She. Yeah. It had to been way earlier than earlier. Before she went to Chelsea. Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Excuse my lack of knowing years, but yeah, she was. She was great. I remember she would always pull me aside, and I like the pull aside, like, in between for like a water break or a hydration break. I love the pull aside from a coach. Hey, I was noticing this thing. Maybe try this or. I was noticing. I just, like, liked her personal. Very personal vibe approach.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. And that's the thing that has really been so fun to watch, is that when she left Chelsea and made the decision to come and take this, you know, the helm of the US Women's National Team, she only had four games with the US Team, like eight training sessions before they even went to the Olympics because she had to finish out her Chelsea career. So with four games and no time, eight training sessions with the Olympic team, the US Team that had, FYI, lost in the World cup the year prior, and not so bueno fashion. Right. They did not look good in the 2023 World cup and then lost the prior Olympics. Didn't look great there either in. In Tokyo Games. So she comes in with all this pressure, like, what's happened to the United States? I think we were ranked like 3 or 4 at the time. We had never not been ranked number one in the world. She comes in with all this pressure of, like, can you do it in four games in eight training sessions? What are you going to do? And the woman pulled off a master class who. She would kill me if I didn't thank her staff as well or acknowledge her staff. Not thank. Acknowledge her staff as well, but that she brought all her staff from Chelsea, which tells you a lot when they all want to come with you. Right. To come. And she was able to, in eight sessions and four games, take this team to the Olympics with enough confidence and, and freedom and joy. All these things that I talk about with Tony and what he brought to the team. Like Emma said at one point during the Paris Games, when we were talking to her, I'm like, how you doing? How's it. How's it feeling? Like, what do you. What's. What have you been doing? And she's like, oh, my God. It's like, I'm on vacation right now. It's like, I'm on holiday. You know, it's the British.

[Abby Wambach]

She.

[Julie Foudy]

It's like, I'm on holiday.

[Abby Wambach]

And Olympics.

[Julie Foudy]

So much fun. Yeah. At the Olympics. And that came across that very chill. Having fun. She got a karaoke machine for the players room. Very much kind of 99er esque of like, let's have fun. Let's be creative. And when we open that up, she got them in a really quick time, which we know is very hard to do. Get on the same page in terms of trusting each other and, and feeling that in the room of like, okay, we can do something here.

[Abby Wambach]

We.

[Julie Foudy]

We know we have a lot of great players. Let's just now bring. So that, to me is. And your coach Kathy talked about it at the very end, the character piece of it, the player development piece, the player management piece of it. Like, yes, you want a good coach, but you want someone that's going to push you to be better than you ever thought you could be, who's going to be whispering in your ear, you can do better than you think you can. To be the person that says, yes, sports are important, but guess what? Like, it's about loving your teammate. It's about being a good teammate. It's all these other things that we know we take as a gift in sport every day. But you may not know it in the moment, but your coach is going to plant that seed so that when you walk away from the game, you call on those little seeds that have been planted for so long. And that is why a coach is so important to me, because they have the capability. And I hope for every coach that's, like, struggling because they're just tired, and think about the opportunity you have to impact a life in an incredible, meaningful way. Most of us don't get that opportunity on a daily basis as you do. And what you're doing really does matter. It's really cool.

[Abby Wambach]

And I tell you what, there's something that's happened ever since we got off the phone with my coach from high school, Kathy Bouton. Reach out to the people and the coaches in your life that have moved you and tell them, you know, so many of the seeds that they plant inside of us. They don't need the affirmation or the recognition, but it's important to give it when it's due. Right. And so let this serve as. As. As a reminder to reach out to those people in our lives that have helped us become the people that we are. Let this serve as a reminder to just think about, how did I get here and who helped me get here? Maybe we haven't even figured out who it is yet. But give yourself the gift of maybe sitting down, writing down some of the people in your life that have had the biggest impact, and call them up, let them know.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. And let it serve as a reminder that we should really put more time and energy and investment into coaches in general and teaching them how to be great coaches and fostering really great pipelines for women to get through. As we know, there's, you know, there's a real issue with, you know, women thinking it's not a career I can. I can spend a lot of time in. So I think that the. The most important thing is that we recognize how important these people are in our lives and.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

And. And put that investment into making sure we get it right.

[Abby Wambach]

Yep. I hear it. I think that. I think that coaches are the most important, and we got to get some good ones in there. Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

And congrats to Kathy again. Yes.

[Abby Wambach]

I'm so proud.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, I know, Abs. You so badly wanted to be there, too. I remember you talking about that. Like, I'm gonna get there.

[Abby Wambach]

I'm gonna be like, I did. You wanna know why I'm not there? It's because our youngest is. Her soccer coach was on family vacation and asked me to train the kids for the week.

[Julie Foudy]

And I was like, seriously, you've been training a team? And I was like, how did you bury this lead? How did you bury this?

[Abby Wambach]

Well, because it's not something that I want to necessarily. I want to go out there, like, once a week with them just so that I can talk to the girls and be a presence and remind them they need to get off of their. Their phones and eat better and drink more water and sleep more, because they'll listen to me. But I also. Yeah, it is a bearing. A little bit of the lead. But. And also, I didn't know this. It was. It's been a really fun week coaching them. Really didn't know I had that in me.

[Julie Foudy]

I cannot believe you didn't even tell me that.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Julie Foudy]

What would Emma say?

[Abby Wambach]

I think that she would say it's weird to have your worlds collide. It's very weird because, you know, if I'm coaching, Glennon is right there on the sidelines shagging balls. She brought cookies yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. So she's like, if you're going, I'm going. We're going to go. Glenn's like.

[Julie Foudy]

Glennon's like, I. Oh, my gosh. You better not tell Rebecca Lowe that Glennon was there watching. She will not. You've told her no practices, remember?

[Abby Wambach]

No practice. But to be fair, listens to Glenna, doesn't listen to me. My advice.

[Julie Foudy]

She was bringing cookies.

[Abby Wambach]

I mean, that was her.

[Julie Foudy]

You should always have. Yeah, you should have that role. Yeah, you should have that role. That or donut holes. I'm a big fan of both. All right, party people. Another party in the books. Don't forget to subscribe to the welcome to the party show YouTube channel so you can actually watch the party and click on that little bell icon so that you get notifications. It means a lot to us when you do all those things.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. And if you can just take one minute. Just takes one little minute. Because we would appreciate it. And it actually really helps us understand more about what we want to do with this podcast and to actually be able to do this podcast. So if you wouldn't mind rate, leave a comment and subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And also be sure to follow us on TikTok and Instagram @. Welcome to the Party show, where Julie, Billie, and I will bring the party straight to your feed. You can also email us at.

[Julie Foudy]

Oh, this is important, too. We have an email.

[Abby Wambach]

Very important. You can also email us at party people, questionsmail.com another big, huge shout out to our friend and composer Kate Diaz for our theme music. You wrote it, you composed it, and it is the way we bopped into and out of every single episode.

[Julie Foudy]

Yes. This one's for Kathy.

[Abby Wambach]

This one's for Kathy.

[Julie Foudy]

Coach USA on three.

[Abby Wambach]

One, two, three. Usa. Usa. Usa.

[Julie Foudy]

Yeah. Cath. Get it. Oh, wrong way. I almost ate the paper. Kathy.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. Welcome to the Party is an independent production brought to you by Treat Media. Treat Media makes art for humans who want to stay human forever. Dog is our production partner and you can watch our full conversations on the welcome to the party YouTube channel and follow us at welcome to the Party show on Instagram and TikTok.