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- [00:00]
A
Hi guys, it's me, d'. Vora. The We're All Insane merch store is officially open. I've been working so hard on this line and really made it with you in mind and I am so excited. We have Totes sweatshirts and my personal favorite, the crewnecks with the matching sweatpants. And let me just tell you, they are so comfortable and so soft. It is my favorite thing to wear. And the colors are so cute. This is my very first launch and we only printed a limited amount, so once it is gone, it's gone. So make sure you head to we're all ins.com and grab yours today.
- [00:34]
B
My name is Teresa. Some people call me Cooper and I'm from Texas, a small little town called Florence. So I grew. I grew up in a small town, but I eventually made my way to the big city of Austin. And in 1999, I was abducted, drugged, abducted, raped repeatedly for hours and strangled to death not once, but twice. And I'm here to share not only that story, but also talk about what stepping through 25 years of PTSD looks like for women and looks like for families of sexual violent crimes and kind of also talk about the re traumazation from our justice system. So I like to start first by saying that a lot of my story can be super triggering and just to prepare people that, you know, this kind of stuff can be really, really triggering for some people. But I think the day before all of this happened, I had been in a pretty toxic relationship and I had a child during this time. I had a child. I had a child pretty young. So every one of my friends tell me, like, if it's going to go wrong, it's going to go wrong to you. So I got pregnant my very first time having sex. Yep, when I was 16 years old. And I had my son when I was 17. And he was such a gift to me and definitely pushed me, Ford. And you know, he saved my life in so many ways. I came from a very good family. I never experienced like mom or dad trauma. My dad was a very high ranking officer in the army. He was pilot. So we moved around a lot. And I had a sister who had down syndrome. So always I. My family, my mother and dad are the most woke boomers there is. I've never met two of the most woke boomers. There were things that we never and I would have to tell friends that came over, especially when we moved to Texas, small town, like, as you can imagine, certain words would come from their mouth and I would have to warn Them do not step in my mom's house and ever say these words because she will kick you your ass out very quick. And you know, like, same with, you know, gay relationships and stuff like that. They were, they were so accepting. And I think that all stemmed from my sister, you know, and that's just how we were raised, being very accepting of, of everyone. But my child's father and I had a pretty toxic relationship. We were young. Not to say like, he did bad, I did bad, but he would just, he was never, he never was connected to our son. He still isn't to this day. I think he's talked to him maybe five times in total. So right before this happened, I had been broken up for about six to eight months from him and I was finally like accepting it and moving on. And the day before I was invited to a end of the quarter party. I worked for a huge computer manufacturing company in Round Rock, Austin, Texas and I was invited to a quarter, end of quarter. I was 21. It was my first career. I was super excited. So the night before I went and bought a new outfit. You know, new jeans, new, you know, and this is, all this, this will all come relative to the story. But a mesh shirt that, you know, a very thin, you know, black top with. It was patterns of dragons all over it and new Doc Martens. Keep in mind this is in 99, so the style is kind of the same as it is today. But I will never forget that morning when I got dressed and this was, this was actually a life saving moment. I put on my clothes. I was so excited to be able to attend the party after work. But one thing that I didn't buy brand new was a new belt. And the belt that I put on was so worn it was almost gonna fall apart. And I was really pissed off about it. Like, damn it, why did you buy a new belt? And I looked around for another one, but I couldn't find a black belt. You know, you always have your star of the show, the black and the brown belt and I just went with it. I wore my black belt, which ended up being a lifesaver. So I went to work and was so excited to. They were having, it was a work sponsored event. They were having it at a tavern after work and went to the tavern and after work I ran out to my car and like reapplied my makeup and you know, fix my hair a little bit. And I didn't really know anybody yet at work. I knew people, but I didn't, I didn't really know them as friends. My. My ex. My child's father and I both worked together there, and my dad also worked also at this big, huge company. And, like, I really never got to know people while I was there because my. My boyfriend was there. And, you know, you just kind of have your own, you know, that's who you would go to lunch with and stuff. So anyway, I was so excited. I ran out, put on, you know, reapplied my makeup, fixed my hair, and drove over to the tavern. I was so excited to get to know people. And as I was walking in, I recognized one of the girls that I work with, and we said hello, and, you know, we walked into the tavern together. And this is where it all starts. So I walk into the tavern, and at the time, one of my supervisors walked up to me with another man. Never talked to him ever before. He was a total stranger to me. But he walked up to me. Both of them walked up to me and this other girl and the guy that I've never talked to before asked if I wanted a shot. Asked both. Both the girl and I if we wanted shots. And I was. I was a little intimidated by that just because I didn't want to get drunk in front of co workers. I was a little worried about that, but I didn't want to sound rude and say no. I was, you know, I just turned 21, too. So this happened the end of April. My birthday is April 16th. 16th. So end of April, just turned 21. And I said, sure. Well, he walks up, him and the supervisor walk back over to me and the girl, and they have, you know, a platter of shots, and the girl goes to grab a shot, and I will never in my life forget about this. But he said, no, this one's for her, and takes the shot and hands it to me, and then kind of passes around the other shots to, you know, the three of them. And we all, you know, sling back the shot. And within. Within, you know, five, 10 minutes, I could tell something was wrong. You know, the room was spinning. It almost felt like. Kind of like you could feel like the pulsation from the music in your body. And I was like, what the hell is going on? And I was. I immediately was anxious. I never really experienced anxiety and panic until after this. But during this, now I can identify. I was anxious because I was so scared that that one shot made me drunk. And I was going to be drunk in front of all of these people. So I excused myself. I go into the woman. Women's bathroom and Keep in mind, this entire tavern's full of, you know, my co workers.
- [09:17]
A
What time was it?
- [09:19]
B
So this was like around 6pm it's.
- [09:22]
A
Crazy to me, though, like, that atmosphere to be willing to do that there. Like, I feel like typically that happens. I mean, you hear about it more like in a nightclub setting, but I feel like that just goes to show. I mean. Yeah, pretty risky.
- [09:39]
B
Yeah, we'll wait until it gets bigger. So I walk into the women's bathroom and I'm thinking, I'm going to go to the sink, I'm going to put water on my face and walk out. Everything's going to be cool. And I'm going to have to call my dad, who was still at work, to come get me. And I'm just going to have to ride home with him because, you know, I thought I was drunk. And probably the last thing that I remember when I was totally coherent was standing at the sink and looking in the mirror, just thinking, like, what am I going to do? And I must have passed out there because the next thing I remember is being on the floor and I could not move. I could not. I couldn't even open up my eyes. I could just hear. I felt like I was in a closet almost. But I. You know, clearly I was on the floor, but I could hear. And there were women walking over me, laughing, thinking I was drunk, and never stopping to say, are you okay? What can I do? Well, then the supervisor and the. The guy comes in and they said, she's with us. We're going to take her outside to get some air. And they pick me up, both of them. And at this time, you know, this time in my life, I was much younger and much thinner. And they picked me up and carry me out of the bar, walking amongst hundreds of people. Nobody stopped and said, what's going on? Take me outside. And they put me in. I. I can't identify whose truck it was, but they put me in a truck. And I was driven to the supervisor's apartment. And he lived at that time. He had two roommates. One of them worked second shift, so he was still at work. And then the other one, he was supposed to be gone. This happened on a Friday night. He was supposed to be gone all weekend long. And so they took me back to that apartment. And keep in mind, I am drugged. And it felt like the best way that I can explain it is some of it was auditory, but some of it was, you know, visionary to where I could see things, but it almost felt. And I'm a Very visual person. So the people listening, I think I can explain it in a way that people can understand, but it almost felt like flashes of a strobe light. And it. But it felt like a strobe light that was going very slow. So. And I'll get to like where my PTSD triggers were and what like really affected me by all of this was I remember them throwing me down on. It was a green old couch and hearing the supervisor say, I'm going to turn the music up really loud so no one can hear the fun. That's what he said. And he ended up ultimately leaving. But he turned up the stereo. Back then we didn't have speakers and you know, cell phones. But he turned up the stereo and it was heavy metal music. He turned it up very loud and you know, again it flashes back. I don't remember anything until I feel the man, the stranger on top of me. And at this time he's pulling my shirt up. And another trigger for me is again, I was young and Victoria's secrets was a big thing back in the day. And something that all of us would do was buy matching bras and panties. And something that I blamed myself for so long after this is, man, if I was just wearing ugly undergarments, he probably wouldn't have done this to me. Like that's what turned him on because the things he was saying when he pulled up my shirt and undid my pants, it just made me feel like, oh, that turned him on. But it's little things like that, that as a crime, you know, a sex crime victim that you remember like pieces that is not important to anybody else but right, you know, that you try to self blame of what could I have done to prevent this? And you know, over the years I learned nothing. Yeah, he's nothing. Like his brain is not wired like any other man. He's a predator. You know, there's nothing that you could have done differently. But in my head I thought that. So he pulls up my shirt and again it flat. You know, the flashes in of him saying you're sexy, you know, kissing my breast, pulling my, my bra above, you know, my breast and then feeling a jerk of him pulling my underwear and my pants down at the same time. And then it flashes back to dark where I don't remember, you know, what happened after that. But I, I do remember there's flashes in and out of him being on top of me, the heavy breathing, even my husband breathes heavily. Now I'm just like, stop it. But you know, just stuff like that. That, like, I remember the heavy breathing and being thrown over the couch and being raped in every kind of way that you can imagine. So much to the fact. And I'll get into this later, but so much in the fact that I now have to have a lifetime colostomy bag because I was tortured so brutally raped by him so, so horribly. This. The. The grace of all of it is. Is that I had to recognize, like, at least I wasn't. I didn't have to be awake for a lot of it, but I. But that also was so triggering because I don't remember the pieces. And as a human being, you want to be able to connect the dots and not have a memory lapse of the most traumatic thing that happened to you. So what happened in between the parts that I don't remember, and I'll never know, but there were different phases of the rape that got pretty bad. There was a part of where I started becoming coherent enough. And I don't know if it was a soda bottle or if it was a beer bottle or wine bottle. I just remember it was glass. And I reached over and I. But my. My arms were like.
- [16:36]
A
Like your motor skills just weren't.
- [16:38]
B
Yeah, I just. Yeah, it just felt like rubber. Right. And I remember grabbing the bottle and trying to hit him, you know, in slow motion, like, so he, of course, grabs the bottle and it gets thrown on the floor, and there's glass on the floor and whatnot. And I. Now I'm awake. I remember this. I remember all of this very. And I don't know if this was flight or fight too, where I'm so amped up, and I knew that the next thing he was going to do is he was going to kill me. I'm grabbed from the living room and I'm pulled across all that glass and stuff in, you know, on the floor, pulled into. And it was an apartment. So there was like a galley kitchen and like a little dining room that was next to the galley kitchen. And then there was the living room. So I was. I was pulled into that galley, you know, kitchen, dining room. Whoops. Dining room area. And the next day at this time, I'm on my stomach, so I'm totally naked. I'm on my stomach, and I just remember pressure on my back. And during this time, he had grabbed my belt, the worn belt, and he had put it around my neck, and he started choking me or strangling me with my. With my belt. And the belt was so damn worn, it broke.
- [18:15]
A
Wow.
- [18:16]
B
And that was saving grace. One yeah that I knew now I was going to have to fight for my life. And he got up and I started trying to move away. My shirt is out of my, you know, out of the armholes but it's, it's around, you know, the neck hole. The shirt's kind of budged around the collar and I think that he, he just thought fast and it was a mesh shirt so it's super stretchy. And he grabbed I was, I like he pushed me kind of back on my stomach, jumped on my back again and pulled that shirt, you know and bunched it up and was trying to strangle me that way and by this was seeing stars I was going in and out and I, I, I do remember this part of, of it kind of in that fight or fight fight freeze mode. He is going to kill you. Unless you play dead. You're never going to get home to your son. Your mom's already buried two kids. You can't let her bury another one. And immediately going into the freeze mode. So he strangled me. I did go out for a brief, you know, I, I don't know how long I was, I passed out but when I came to he was still strangling me. So I, my entire body went limp and I remember just telling myself you have to be stoned, just be stoned, just be stone. And I thought it was over from there. He got off of me and he, I thought, I thought I made it out but then it wasn't over. He turned around and the police don't say well then said that they. And I guess he confessed to this of the reason why he did this was to make sure that I was doing dead. He urinated on me and to see if I would move and I didn't. So I have this man that just brutally raped me, tried to strangle me not once but twice now urinating on me and I, I just knew I had to get home to my, my child and again I couldn't let my parents get bury a third child so. Or by this time my sister hadn't passed away yet but you know, another child later, you know, a couple years later my sister passed away but we'll talk about that. But yeah, I just, I went totally limp, didn't move. He thought I was dead. He left the apartment and evidently when he left so that third guy that was supposed to be gone for the weekend if I could ever find him, his name's Mars. He is, he was the most magical person. I, I don't know if it was a Guardian angel or just, you know, divine energy. I don't know what it was, but he decided last minute. I'm not going to leave tonight. I'll leave tomorrow morning.
- [21:41]
A
Did he work? He didn't.
- [21:42]
B
Did he work with you guys? Yeah, he. He worked with us too.
- [21:45]
A
So. Did he know who you were?
- [21:46]
B
He did know. I. I knew who he was. He knew who I was. We talked like maybe once or twice, but we, like. It was more like. Hey, can you hand me that? It wasn't. It was just like a professional banter. It wasn't.
- [21:59]
A
So he lived in this apartment?
- [22:01]
B
Yeah, with the supervisor and then another guy that all worked at.
- [22:06]
A
Okay, but not the one that did this to you. He didn't live there.
- [22:09]
B
He did not live there. And then.
- [22:12]
A
Couple questions before you continue. So I don't forget, supervisor left.
- [22:17]
B
At what point? Supervisor left as soon as he turned up the stereo. After he said, I'm gonna turn the stereo. I'm gonna turn the music loud so nobody can hear the fun in here.
- [22:28]
A
So basically he was just involved in this to help this guy?
- [22:32]
B
Yep.
- [22:33]
A
And they were friends? I'm assuming?
- [22:34]
B
They were good friends.
- [22:35]
A
Okay. But he never did anything to you other like physically?
- [22:38]
B
Not that I know of. And there was no traces by this time in with dn, you know, there was no traces of his DNA on my body. It was just.
- [22:48]
A
It just makes me wonder, like, also, what did this guy think after he killed. Thought he killed you? What did he think?
- [22:57]
B
He actually left to go find where he was going to dispose my body.
- [23:02]
A
Okay. So that's why he left.
- [23:04]
B
He left. And again, like, I don't know how this happened. And he left. And with. And I was laying on the kitchen floor and I still was scared of. When did he just go down to his car? Like, what's going on here? And I'm trying to figure out, what am I going to do? There's blood all around me. Because keep in mind, I. I been attacked. I've been drugged through glass. There's blood all around me. I'm totally naked except for the shirt around my, you know, up. Around. Bunched up around my neck. And I. I had. I had my eyes peeked open. So just in case he was still. I heard him leave because I. They lived on the second floor. So I heard the apartment door close. He turned off the stereo. Sorry. He turned off the stereo, opened up the door, and then closed the door. And then I heard him walking down the steps because the apartment was on the second floor. So I heard all of that. So I knew he had left, but then again I was like, what if, you know, this other person was here in another room and he's the one that left? But I knew the entire time it was only one person that was attacking me. Okay. Every time that I would come, you know, it was the flashes of the strobe light. I would see his face, I would hear his breathing. I would hear his voice. He was the one that pulled me into the galley, kitchen, dining room area. There. There was no question. It was just him. I'm sure.
- [24:47]
A
Also, like, you know, when you realized he left, there was probably some sort of fear of, does my body even work? Like, can I even if I wanted to get up and run, can I.
- [24:57]
B
Even do it right? And you don't trust your body.
- [25:02]
A
Yeah.
- [25:03]
B
After that kind of situation because your body just, you know, and your brain just failed you, you know, because you think that you're. Up until that point, I thought it, you know, there were no monsters in this world that would, like, I'm smarter than the monster. Right. And you know, immediately shame kind of seeps in after that kind of violence. But he left within no more than five minutes. This is when the roommate walks in and my eyes are kind of peeked open and I. I knew him. But here I am laying naked on the floor, blood around me. I didn't give a shit. I was like, I got like, right, now is your time to get out. And again, we're in this apartment building and I'm like, if I start screaming loud enough, maybe somebody will hear me. So I. I see him and I just start screaming and screaming and screaming. And I can tell he's processing. Like, what's this naked white girl on my floor? Bloodied mess. Like, what the hell is going on right now?
- [26:13]
A
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- [29:37]
B
Me and he's, he was like, Teresa. And I said, yeah. And he like, he was like, you're okay, you're okay. Calm down, calm down. He was, he, he just knew. And he said, who did this to you? And I said that. And unfortunately, I can't say the offender's name publicly. And you guys will find out why later in this story. He did go to prison. I will share that. You know, fast forward. He did go to prison for many years, but he's out now. And there's a reason why I don't say his name publicly until he dies. But he said, who, who did this to him? To you? And I will say his anyway. Who did this to you? And I said his name. And he, he said, we have to call the police. And again, I just had been brutal like I was so I remember the fear and so scared. And I said, no, no, no, no, no. Can you just take me to my dad? My dad's. And I don't even know how I knew this. My dad's only a block away. And he was like, where's your dad? And I said, you know, I told him my dad's name is Lon Cooper. He works here. He's in this building. And he's like, oh, yeah, that is only a block away. He's like, but we should call the police. And I said, no, I don't want to call the police right now. I just want to get. Can you just get me to my dad? And then the truth kind of set in because you still feel like you're kind of in this dreamlike state of is this real? And I remember him saying like, we need to get you dressed. And he grabbed my pants and my pants were inside out and my underwear was like on one side, you know, on one leg, and they were badly ripped. So obviously he like tore off my, you know, tight jeans and underwear with it. But when I saw that you have Again, those flashes of like, no, this is real, this is reality. This just happened to you. You're not dreaming right now. This really did happen. So I saw the pants and the underwear and by this time I'm looking all around because again, I was kind of in and out during the attack. By this time it's. So it started at 6, by this time it's around like 8:30, 9 o'. Clock. My dad was still at the, at his office. He worked. My dad was. So my dad retired from the military and went to go work at this company as like, I think he was a director or something like that, but he worked on a. So they had shifts at this place. They have first shift, second shift, third shift. I worked on first shift, My dad worked on second shift. So my dad was still there. And I, I'm looking around and by this time, like I said, it's. This all started at 6, this is around 9, 9:30. And it might have been a little earlier. I'm trying to, trying to remember. I know it was, it was definitely like two, three hours from the start of the attack until this. But I remember seeing my, my broken belt on the ground and you have like that, that split second of sanity of like, that just saved my life. I was bitching about it this morning and it saved my life because if it didn't break, if it was a brand new belt, he would have had. And I, he wasn't using a mesh shirt that was stretchy, but an actual belt to strangle me. He, he would have succumbed, succeeded, no doubt. But because the belt broke and all that he had left was my mesh, stretchy shirt, I survived it. But I remember looking at the broken belt and being thankful for it during all of this trauma, just being like, like rationalizing and realizing like nothing. Just. Yeah, like not buying a brand new belt last night actually saved my life. And I was so mad at myself for not buying a brand new belt that morning. And anyway, like, just destiny works in weird, weird ways. But he helps me get dressed. And I remember there was still glass on the floor and stuff like that. And he was like, you, you need to put on your shoes. I was, I still have my socks on. I do remember that. And back in the 90s, like late 90s, early 2000s, socks were like pattern socks were everybody's thing. They haven't made a comeback. At least I don't think they have. My daughter's 22 and she never talks about socks, but like trouser socks with weird patterns or stripes or whatever. You'd always wear them with your Oxford Doc Martens and let them peek through your jeans a little bit or whatever. But I remember looking down, I was wearing striped black and white socks. And he grabbed my shoes and said, you should put on your shoes. And I just. I was. I. I know I was starting to disassociate, and I went. I was doing this for a long period of disassociating. I just kind of stood there still. And he pretty much carried me out of the apartment, across the grass to his car, put me in his car, drove a block. And that led me to where everything. The new part of the story started. And that was pulling up and him going out and screaming for my dad to come outside. My dad comes outside. And my dad and I have talked recently about this because, again, I'm trying to. I was so disassociated. I was in total shock. My body was just responding to outside stimuli. I was so incoherent. But I remember. So some of this is my dad's words and some of it's mine. But my dad ran out and he ran over to my car or over to the guy's car, opens up the passenger door, and he can tell, like, I'm not okay. And he asked what happened. And I said, I was raped. And I do remember my dad screaming back to the building, someone called 911. And that's when 911 was called. So they didn't initially, they. There was a search warrant and stuff like that produced after. But they come to the company and. And people will learn why I can't say the company's name. I would share it, but I legally can't. You'll learn why. But they. They. The police, ambulance show up now. Rewind. I've been broken up with my boyfriend for eight months at this point. He's already. He already has a new girlfriend. Something about him is he was a habitual cheater through our entire relationship. And that was kind of the. The saga with him is he, you know, I had my son with him, but he just never felt connected because he was always looking at, you know, the next. The next person. But he just cheated all the time. We were young, whatever, but he was still an asshole. He would cheat all the time. There was one of my best friends in high school. She's a horse girl. He. When I was pregnant with my son, this is how dirty he was. And this is important to the story. So everybody can feel like, what an asshole move this was. While I'm in this very Traumatic part. I just want people to feel, feel it. But when I was pregnant with my son, him and my best friend in high school, I had one of those folding mattress things for my room. She slept on that and he was in my, my room. And we all. He had spent the night and she had spent the night and they slept together. They had sex right next to me while I was sleeping, while I was like seven, eight months pregnant. So he was, he was the classic asshole. He was that kind of guy, you know, just not a stand up guy. And anyway, so just so to build the picture of this part, he also worked second shift at this, at the same company. And him and his new girlfriend were walking out as the ambulance. The police show up and they see my dad out there and Casey runs over that the. Casey's my ex.
- [38:40]
A
Are you fine saying the name?
- [38:41]
B
Yeah, I'm fine. Runs over to. Runs over to my dad and said, you know, what happened? And my dad explains to him what happens. And Casey and I really like, like his girlfriend and I, they ended up breaking up, but her and I became cool with each other. But her name's Amy. He tells Amy to stay with me and go to the hospital with me. So instead of him going to the mother of his child going to the hospital with me, he sends his new girlfriend because she was the other, only other female there. So the, the police are there, the ambulance are there. They're saying we need to take you to the hospital to do a rape kit during this time. Crime Victim Services, they, they ask if I want Crime Victim Services to come and they'll help support me during the process. And I said yes, sure. So they get me transported over to the hospital. My dad's following behind the, you know, behind the cartel of people going to the, the hospital. And I'm in the, in the ride with two women. I had no idea who it was and like paramedics and stuff like that. But Amy and the sex Crime Victim Services counselor and you know, they're holding my hand and like. Which was lovely. I'm not saying it wasn't a lovely deal, but I, I already felt so violated and I just. There was nothing more that I wanted than I wanted my mom. I just want like my mom has always been my go to person and my mom and my sister, my other sister Denise, I just wanted them in that moment. I just wanted my mom and my sister and my dad happened to be with us, which I love my dad. And again, I came from a very good family, but I just wanted my mom and my sister. But I had. It was nice. They took me to the hospital. We were put into room. And to paint the picture for the listeners and the viewers is now there's another violation that happens to a sex crime victim where you're under. You're now exposed again. You have to just stand on a white sheet. And they, Andre. They have you disrobe layer by layer. And you know, first you take off your shoes and you put them in a paper bag. Take the paper bag off, you know, paper bag away. They put down another paper bag, your socks. You know, you're just disrobing in this room that has, you know, the. Amy and the. The victim services person stayed back in the other room. So they took me to the exam room. And so now there's nurses. The. They call them a sane nurse. So it's a sex assault nurse examiner. So they call it sane, which is ironic, but they call. They call her. You know, she was in there and she was also training someone. So there was another nurse in there. And then there was. I think there was three in total that I remember. There might have been more, but I remember three faces. So you're kind of exposed, you're already violated, you're under big bright lights. You're on this white sheet. Having to get naked yet again in front of total strangers. And it feels so cold because it feels. It feels almost mechanical of, okay, you know, this comes off, this goes in the paper bag. Okay, this person takes off the paper bag. Now another paper bag comes off. Now you have to take off, you know, whatever. Well, then you're standing there totally naked in front of three people. And then you have someone from the police department. And for me it was a female. And I'm sure that they, they do this, but I'm standing there naked and they had to take pictures. And because I had physical injury, I had, you know, cut to my back. There was rug burns all over me. So they had to take, you know, pictures of physical injury. And then I remember, you know, for women, you guys know the, you know, good old OB GYN tables and having to put my legs up. And again, more violation of, you know, having to be swabbed in every orifice because he urinated on me. They took a clipping of my hair. And this is all for DNA testing. I remember the nurse saying. The same nurse making a scene statement saying, wow, he really messed you up while she was looking. And like she. And there's this big. They also have a kind of an ultrasound. It's Transvaginal, like, thing. And there was blood all, you know, all over my lower half and her making that statement. And I was. I was definitely in pain, but I was.
- [44:27]
A
You're probably the.
- [44:28]
B
The shock outweighed the pain, right? Like, I wasn't feeling it, like. Right. Too bad. But she made that statement. And then the next violation was having to tell my story over and over and over again. So first the. The same nurse asked what happened. Well, you know, first you have this sex crime. The. The police that show up to the actual site, they asked me what happened. I had to tell that story. Then Crime Victim Services, to make sure that I qualified for services, had to ask me what happened. Then you get to the hospital and you have the same nurse that asks you what happened. And then, because I physically was injured, they had a doctor come in, how to tell the doctor what happened. Now you, the sex crime investigators show up. So you have maybe two or three more people that you have to tell. And I think that was the first time that I realized, you know, now we kind of have a word for it. Gaslighting. Right. But back in, like, the late 90s, early 2000, there was really no word for it, but I think, like, so remember the roommate that showed up and was the one that found me, he was a black male. The person that did this to me, he was Hispanic and the supervisor was white. And.
- [46:10]
A
And what were the ages of the supervisor?
- [46:12]
B
And so, yeah, no, good question. So he, like, in their 40s, and I was. I just turned 21, so they were about 20 years old. I never talked to them. Like we had nothing in common, you know. And anyway, I will never forget the investigator saying to me, well, how do you know that it wasn't the guy that found the blackmail? How did you know? And keep in mind, my parents were very woke, Very woke. And so what was his name? Rodney King. I remember as a kid, the whole Rodney King thing with the LA police had really beat up this guy pretty badly. And there was big, huge riots in la. And my mom saying how, like, identifying how the police treat specifically black males. And she was a. She was a nurse. And she even said, you know, in the medical field, how they treat black people, you know, very, very progressive parents, and they started gaslighting me and saying, how do you know it wasn't him? And I'm like, listen, I know who I saw. He wasn't there. It was this, you know, this specific guy. He was there the entire time. The supervisor's the one that bro that brought me with him talk to the supervisor. And this person. That's who was there, the mars. Who was the black man who found me. Had nothing to do with it, I assure you. Had nothing to do with it.
- [47:52]
A
And even though you weren't fully coherent throughout the process, I think our bodies still know it.
- [47:58]
B
Absolutely. Yeah.
- [47:59]
A
Like, I think you would be terrified.
- [48:01]
B
And all you want to hear. As I remember that night, my mom. It was such a shitty time because my grandma, who I was also very close with, was really, really sick. She lived in New Mexico, and my mom was up in New Mexico taking care of her. So I didn't even get to come home to my mom. I had to talk to her on the phone and. And my sister, of course, was home and stuff like that. But, you know, my sister's always been. We're only 13 months apart. Like, I always grew up with her as my best friend, friend and someone to lean on and all of that. But my mom was kind of my. You know, I would run things by her and see what. What she thought and whatnot. But I think for people that experience, especially right after, all that you want to hear is, I believe you as a victim. I believe you. Yeah. And here I am. Obviously, I had been raped. I had, you know, been strangled, all of that stuff. And I felt the need to prove that I was right to these. These detectives. And sadly, that still is going on for many victims today. And I remember going home, and I can't remember if it was that night. And we'll talk about when I got home and stuff like that and the aftermath of that. But I do remember calling my mom and saying, the police think it's the black male, you know, the black guy that lived there. And I keep on telling them, no, it's this person. It's this person. And they're not listening to me. And my mom said, I believe you. And she said, it sounds like they're not wanting to do a thorough investigation. And we'll. We'll get in this. Now, keep in mind. I will. We'll talk about that later. But I remember my mom saying, I believe you. And that's all I needed to hear to, like, give me a little bit more fuel to keep on pushing. By this time, I've told the story probably 10 times. The first night that after this happened, when you're at the hospital, I'm sure it's the same way. So when I was at the hospital, they gave me plan B that I was supposed to take. They gave me Valium, and they gave me like, antibiotics, in case I had. I had contacted an STD through this stuff. So I had three pills. I'm, you know, by this time, 21. Don't really take, you know, medicine. And, you know, I'm advised to see a doctor because of the internal injuries, but they got me, you know, I just wanted to go home. So I get. So I get in the car with my dad, and I don't know where my car is at this time. Remember, I drove over to the tavern, and I asked him, I was like, do you know where my car is? And I don't know how this happened, but somehow the girl that met me that I walked in to at the tavern, he's like, oh, yeah, this girl asked if she could take your car, and she's going to park it in, you know, the company's parking lot, so it's safe. Which. Which was fine. Like, she. She was being nice about it. But.
- [51:27]
A
Pause a second. You were the.
- [51:29]
B
Maybe this.
- [51:30]
A
You'll answer this, but you were the only one that they put the drug into the shot for. And do. Do you find out why? Okay, so you'll tell us that. And then the girl. That was it.
- [51:43]
B
Like, you know, she was a nice girl. And, like, after she found out what happened to me, I honestly, I need to ask my dad about that because I don't know how all of this came about, where she found out what happened to me, because it all happened in the same night where she found out what happened to me.
- [52:00]
A
But, like, there.
- [52:01]
B
But she got my car. She got the car keys from. Because I had my car keys, I think, in my pocket or my purse or whatever. I had it with me when I got to my dad. And I think she was like, do you want me to move Teresa's car from the tap, you know, from the bar to.
- [52:17]
A
But she didn't see the guys carrying you out.
- [52:19]
B
That's what I, like, never made sense. She said no, because I know the detectives asked her, and she said that she didn't. That after I excused myself, like, she went off to go play pool and stuff like that with other co workers, but she said no. She didn't see. See it. Other people admitted that they saw me being carried out.
- [52:41]
A
Okay.
- [52:42]
B
But she. She said that she didn't. So I get home, and, you know, I asked my. On the drive home, I asked my dad, where's my car? And he's. He said, it's up at the company's parking lot. And, you know, he tells me so and so took it. I don't remember her name. This per. You know, this young lady took your car from the bar to the parking lot. But my dad and I don't talk. I didn't want to talk. I don't think my dad wanted to talk. It was just that.
- [53:13]
A
What do you say?
- [53:14]
B
Well, and it was comforting. The stillness and the silence was comforting because we both kind of understood. Like, to be fair, my dad also experienced seeing his daughter was just attacked and strangled. That had to be traumatizing. Like, I'm a parent now. I was a parent then, but not of adult children. I'm a parent of adult children now. But understanding the pain that he must have been feeling, I get why he was so quiet. And I also understand why I was so quiet. I just did it. So it was comforting. It was. It didn't feel like. Why, you know, embarrassment or anything like that. It just. We both kind of felt each other like. There's nothing that we can say right now. Let's just. Let's just get home. And you're, you know, I knew I was safe and all of that.
- [54:04]
A
How were you feeling as far as the aftermath of the drug that they gave you?
- [54:10]
B
I was still pretty loopy. Okay.
- [54:13]
A
Did they tell you? I'm assure the hospital tested you and.
- [54:16]
B
Yeah, I did a urine test and I can't remember. I mean, it's been 25 years now, and I'm still. Still. I'm sure it's in my case file, but I can't remember if it was GHB or Hempanol. And keep in mind, back in the day, that was very common for women to experience that at bars. That was just getting progressively worse. And. But it happened in bars where stranger, complete strangers, you know, you went out to the bar with your friends and somebody would drink, you know, drop it into your drink. And, you know, you don't think it's.
- [54:56]
A
Going to happen at a work event.
- [54:58]
B
Exactly at 6pm Never once did I think, hey, I'm going to a work event. I'm going to be drugged and abducted and raped for hours and left for dead. Never once crossed my mind. I don't think it would cross anybody's mind even today. But it was coming up, you know, it was progressively getting worse at bars. Yeah. And I even remember my mom making comments to my. My sister's 13 months older than me, making comments to my sister like, you know, hey, the news is saying that women should always protect their drink and carry their drink around with them. And, you know, all of that and the. The reason why he Gave me the shot. And we'll get into how. It was kind of pre planned, but a lot of people that would do this because taking a drink, you can leave the drink, you can, you know, taste something funny in the drink and decide you don't want to drink anymore. But what men were doing was they were putting them in shots because you. You take a shot fast. So it's like, you know, right away.
- [56:14]
A
Yeah, you can't spit it back out.
- [56:15]
B
You can't spit it out. You know, I mean, I guess you could, but, you know, they were putting them in shots, so that was pretty common back then. It wasn't that they. They kind of quit putting them in people's drinks and they put them in shots. And my mom would always tell my sister that. And I had just turned 21. I had a. My mom knew. I. I know that she had to know, but I had a fake id. Like I had been drinking, you know, going to the bars and stuff like that with my sister. I was. I've never been a big drinker, but, you know, I would hear my mom always telling my sister, like, watch a drink. Yeah, they're putting them in shot glasses, all of that. So I knew better. Anyway, so we get home, my best friend Anthony is at my house. My sister. My best friend Anthony. I think there was a couple of other friends too that were there, but I specifically remember my sister and Anthony there, and he had come over to. Because Denise, my sister, she. I can't remember. Was Cindy born? Yeah, Sydney was born then too. But she had a little girl at home. She. She didn't live at home with us anymore. She had moved out with her boyfriend. But she had to go home and take care of her child. So my best friend Anthony came over to watch my son Taylor, and you know, while I was at the hospital. So when I got home, my sister had returned. Anthony was there. There was a couple of other friends there too. I can't. I can't remember who all was there, but I do remember Denise and Anthony. And we. I came in, nobody knew what to say. So that kind of starts the silent mode and the victim feeling as if you can't say much because you don't want it to be too heavy for the rest of everybody else and be that burden, at least. Turn is isolating incredibly. It's. The silence is deafening and it only adds to your pain. And I had to learn that, you know, and I think every victim goes through that. Every victim that I've spoke to has gone through this silent Period. And sometimes it can last, you know, a couple months, sometimes it can last decades. You know, it just, it depends. But nobody really knew what to say other than I'm really sorry. And I. My sister left and our other friends left and Anthony stayed with me and Anthony. The thing about Anthony is I always had a. Until I met, met my father's or my father, my father, my son's father. I always had a very big crush on Anthony. We were best friends, but he, he was just a. He was a beautiful, beautiful. He still is just beautiful. He looks like a Abercrombie and Veg model. Just like, like all American, you know, blonde hair, blue eyes. Everybody at school had a crush on Anthony. It wasn't, you know, I was no different from any other girl. But we became best friends. We were together all the time. We would hang out together. And my Casey, the father of my son was. I could tell he was jealous of Anthony, but he never really said much. You could just tell, like there was, you know, I understood the boundaries. Keep in mind, I been broken up with this guy for eight months, so there was no more boundaries. Anthony was there. And I remember sitting on the back porch and by this time, by the time I got home, it was like midnight, one o' clock in the morning. We're sitting on the back porch and I'm crying uncontrollably. I'm trying to explain to him like everybody had left. So it was just he. And I explained to him what happened and he said, the hospital gave you Valium. I think you should take some. And I think you should go and get some rest. I will take care of Taylor tonight. Just go and get some rest. This is, this is too much kind of thing. As, you know, people that know Anthony, he's not a man of many words, but that night he was, he was a really good friend. So I took the Valium and I fell asleep. And around two or three o'clock in the morning, and Anthony was like, again, I had this fold out mattress in my room. And so Anthony and I were in there and Casey ends up showing up that night after he got off of work and all of that. So it's like maybe two, three o' clock in the morning and I hear yelling outside of my room. And it's Anthony and Casey going back and forth at each other because Casey wanted to wake me up to talk to me. And Anthony's saying, no, she has had the worst night and where the fuck were you? So they were definitely going back and forth, like yelling at Each other. And Anthony was basically telling him, you're not going to wake her up. She has had the worst imaginable thing happen to her, and let's let her sleep. Casey didn't want that to happen. So I don't know if I came out of the room or Casey came in the room, but he asked me if at my house, we have this big, huge porch with really comfy chairs and stuff like that. And he asked me to go sit down on the porch with him so that we could talk. And, you know, he. He was. He was just like, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. I hate that this happened to you. It really tore me up. Keep in mind, he's. He didn't go with me to the hospital. He put his new girlfriend in the car with me, and he's like, I just wanted you to know that after work today, I talked to Amy, and we broke up. And I think you and I should get back together, because I can never let this happen to you ever again. Again. I'm disassociated. I just want to feel safe. I want to be taken care of.
- [62:39]
A
Now's not the time for this.
- [62:41]
B
Absolutely. And. But I fall for it. And again, we have that pattern of getting. You know, breaking up, getting back to together. That's kind of how, like. Yeah, that's how toxicity works, you know? And not to say he was. I never cheated, but, you know, I. I was toxic in my own measure, too, so. We were young, stupid kids. It's one of those relationships that you look back later in life, and you're like, thank God that did not work out. I always tell girls that are going through breakups, and like, one time, you're gonna.
- [63:13]
A
You're gonna look back at it and understand.
- [63:15]
B
Yeah. You're gonna understand why that doesn't work out. And you'll be grateful. I promise. Just get through the pain. You'll be okay.
- [63:21]
A
I have a quick question before you go into that part. When you were at the hospital that night, did they tell you that night that you were. Do you still currently have a colostomy bag? Did they tell you that night that you were gonna need one, or you didn't know yet?
- [63:35]
B
I didn't know until I saw a specialist.
- [63:37]
A
Got it. Okay.
- [63:37]
B
Yeah. So they. They knew that I had been. Basically, they knew that there was a lot of physical damage. I was stitched up, you know, that kind of stuff. But there was not, you know, a specialist had not looked at me like a colon rectal surgeon had not looked at me just yet. Okay, so. But anyway, Casey's asked to get back together. I'm freaking either disassociated or delusional. And I'm like, okay, whatever. And over the next. So this happens in April, over the next several months, there's the behind the scenes thing where I'm. I'm having to go in to. By this time, my mom comes home from my mom, my grandma's house. And my mom's this Italian fierce lady that know like no one's going to fuck with her kids. And she does not take shit from no one. And she doesn't give herself enough credit, but she has such a powerful voice and just, you know, she's just. And my dad, My dad is incredibly. My dad has been incredibly successful in his career. He too has a powerful voice. But don't ever mess with a mom whose kids are getting messed with. Don't ever do it. Especially an Italian mama. Anyway, I remember maybe a week after, after all of this, I have to go up to talk again to tell the story because I have to get it all written down. But they gave me some time and I told the detectives I really want my mom to be with me. My mom, my sister, and my best friend Carrie go with me to the police station at the Austin police station. And I walk in and now they have kind of soft interview rooms where, you know, there's couch for victims. There's couches. It's. It's not this hold, you know, very cold interrogation room. It's. It's a soft room. But back then they did have cold interrogation rooms where your offender probably was sitting too. Right? I'm taken back to her, her space, the, the room. And my family can't. I'm thinking my sister, my mom and my best friend can go with me and be supportive while I tell my story of what all happened for the 50th time now. And I was told, no, it's. You are the only one that can go. So in your mind, you're already starting, starting to feel like again, I have to prove myself that this happened. But now I have my mom with me and I'm. I also came from a. You know, my, my family's well off. We're, you know, white, upper middle class. My mom basically told the detective, we want a thorough investigation on this. And I'm not, you know, basically, I'm not going to get off your neck until you make sure that my daughter gets the justice she deserv.
- [67:04]
A
And in this time span, did they arrest the Guy.
- [67:08]
B
Well, that's coming next. Okay, so. So we get to the police station. Like I said it. This is. I'm trying to put together the line, let's say a week later. It might have been, you know, four days, but I'm saying a week.
- [67:23]
A
They did not arrest him right away?
- [67:25]
B
No, they couldn't find him right away. Okay. And also back then. Well, I'll get to that. So what happened? I go in and this is the weird thing, and maybe other crime victims. I don't. I don't care if you're a crime victim or sexual violence, dv, whatever it is, but I have seen the Polaroid picture that they. They took of me that day that I went into. Into the police station to tell my story. And this is something that really screwed with me for many, many years later. And I finally had to have a therapist explain it to me. But, you know, I tell my story again. She, you know, I have to sign this, you know, my formal statement, have to make sure that every single part, even though I've told my story so many times, it has to be now in writing and I have to sign it. And everything needs to be in there because that's what's going to the prosecution. And the DNA has been submitted to the. The lab. It can take up to six months before it gets back. I'll share a really cool full circle moment in a second. But she takes a picture and she's like, oh, she took a picture of my breast because, you know, I had bruising and all of that all over me, but there was bruising also on my breasts. And she wanted to, like, around my nipples and whatnot. She wanted to take a picture of that. So I allowed her. And she had made the statement. Well, they were able to collect, you know, there was DNA all over me. And she's like, I need to take a picture of your breast. Because another part that we, like, all the areas that we collected DNA, one of the parts, too, was his saliva on your breast. Aside from, you know, just semen and urine, his saliva was on your breast and around your mouth. And then she was like, and, you know, I'd like to take a picture so that I could put it on the case file of you. And so she did like, you know, a face picture of me. And I was fucking smiling in that picture. And that really fucked with me because I'm like, when I opened up the case file years later and saw that again, it was the shame. And I was so mad, I beat myself up so much. This is maybe three or four years later that I was angry with myself. How dare I? Was I smiling when I had just been through literal hell? Why was I smiling and so angry at myself for going through that, you know, disassociation state? And I had to have a therapist explain to me, what do you do when someone puts a camera in your face? And I said, smile. Try to, you know, put my hair, you know, try to look presentable, and I'll smile. And she goes, why is that any different when she put a camera in your face? We're just kind of wired that way. You, you know, somebody puts a camera in your face, it's not, it's not an afterthought. You smile because that's kind of how, you know, since we were little kids, smile for the camera. Why are you beating yourself up over this? So finally I had to process that and let it go. But, but it's just little things like those nuances throughout your trauma that come back. And like, it's. It's kind of like a haunting feeling, you know, like you'll, you'll feel like you're moving past something and just one thing can pull you back into it. But I gone and I'd given my statement, signed it, and then the waiting period started, however, so this, so this all started and I had taken off. I had taken off fmla. This happened in April. I didn't go back to work until August. And the company told me, because he was still working there, he had not been arrested. In fact, what he did was he told the police department and they had to wait until the DNA test came back. He got an attorney and basically he said, I never touched her. I don't know what you're talking about. I never touched her. So we had to wait for the DNA to prove. You're fucking liar, dude. You're a predator. You did touch me. So he didn't get arrested. His attorney stepped in and basically told that, you know, basically told the, the, the police department, like, you have no, you know, you have no proof to arrest him.
- [72:23]
A
And supervisor didn't get in trouble for helping.
- [72:25]
B
Supervisor did not get in trouble at all. At all.
- [72:29]
A
Had he helped. Do you find out that he had helped him before in these kind of things or was that his first time?
- [72:34]
B
I think that was his first time. When they were doing the investigation, they had talked to several people that we worked with because in the state of Texas. The other interesting thing is, is I never talked to him. I had seen him, but I had never talked to him. He was pretty much. He was a stranger to me. Never had a conversation, never said hi, hello, nothing, total stranger. But in the state of Texas, even if you've seen someone, because we work together, they didn't classify him as a stranger. So it was like, apparently prior to the tavern incident, he had been going around and asking different co workers that, you know, I would talk to. We were not friendly. We were friendly, but we weren't friends or anything like that. But he would. He was asking them if I was going to attend the party. And everybody said, yeah, she's, you know, she's coming. And he asked probably four or five different people if I was coming. And then the day of, he had asked someone else, is Teresa coming to the party? And she was like, yes, I've told you, true self, come to the party. And he said, well, is she going to eat dinner before, or is she just coming straight to. And the girl said, he learned about my son. She's like, well, she has a son at home. I think she's going right after work and maybe only going to stay an hour or two. And then she's going to. She's going to just go home, you know, because her son. And so this motherfucker knew that I had. Like, I was a mom and he did not care. But it had asked so many people if I was going to be there. So I was targeted.
- [74:23]
A
And it doesn't make sense to me how the supervisor didn't get charged with something at all.
- [74:29]
B
Nothing.
- [74:30]
A
Like he saw what state you were in.
- [74:33]
B
Well, and Mars, after that incident, I can't remember if I ever saw Mars again. I'm sure I did.
- [74:40]
A
And that's the guy that had found me.
- [74:42]
B
He, he. He was an angel. Nobody can convince me otherwise, but there was some divine power with him. But the other roommate, he worked, remember, he worked on second shift. So before I went back in August, keep in mind, this guy was still working at the company. They had the audacity to tell me, you know, Teresa, he's been working here for, you know, over a decade now, and you just started working here. And basically what he's doing is more important than what you're doing. And he has seniority. You can't work on this shift anymore. You have to. I was punished. You have to go work this second shift. I have a son. Like, it just sucked, but horrible. But there was also destiny in that. So I go back to work. And maybe this is an important part of the story too, about my relationship with my child's. We call him the biodonor. My son's biological father is my grandma. My mother's mother and I were very, very close. I grew up, my sister Denise and I grew up going to her house in New Mexico all the time every summer. And I had a sister with down syndrome. So our dynamic was a little bit different. Like we didn't go on extravagant vacations and stuff like that. You know, we had a special needs sister. So getting to go to my grandparents house and you know, be able to go out to dinner and breakfast every day and get to go do fun things, things was a treat to us. And then we, you know, started middle school and going to grandma and grandpa's house is no longer cool. But in turn they started coming to our house all summer. So my, my grandma was really sick in April, but she ended up coming down to Texas for like a month or two during the summer. And I remember coming home and crying to her because remember I go back with Taylor's dad and one night I come home and I'm crying not just because of the sexual assault. He cheated on me again. And as I'm going through this horrible thing, you know, I find out he cheated on me again. And my grandma always slept in my bed with me. And I said something totally insane to my grandma. I crawled into bed with her and I'm laying there crying. My grandma was such a, you know, just to give everybody a visual. My Grandma was like 4 foot 9. She looked like a little munchkin Italian lady with black salt and pepper hair. She was the sweetest person. Never said bad things about anybody. Always told you you needed to eat no matter if you just ate like five plates. Like always thought that her grandchildren were hungry. Always cooking, you know, just. Just the kind of grandma that is perfect. I was, I was fortunate enough to have the perfect grandma. But that night I crawled into bed with her and I was, I was crying and she was such a light sleeper. I was lucky that she always felt comfortable in my bed. And we got, you know, even as an adult she was sleep with me in my room and was crying. I said something so morbid to her and I remember verbatim and I said, grandma, when you go to heaven, I need you to send me my soulmate. And I said, I cannot do this anymore with him. And keep in mind, my grandma never said my grandma like my, my sister Denise and I would get my grandma to see say like we just thought it was funny to hear her cuss. We do the same thing with my mom, right? Like all of all of our kids now think it's funny to try. You know, we are definitely not allowed to use the F bomb around mom, but, you know, we would get my grandma to cuss and stuff like that because, you know, grandma was so nice and sweet and gentle, but I said, I really need you to send me my soulmate. When you go to heaven, I need you to send me my soulmate. And I'm saying this through tears. And she was like, absolutely, I promise you I will send you your soulmate. And. And I was like, I just can't do this anymore with her, him. And my grandma's like, I don't understand why you keep on putting. If someone shows you that they're an asshole, believe them that, that they're the asshole. My grandma's saying this. Never heard her cuss. You know, she would say damn it and say stuff like that, but never. Usually it was at my grandpa, but you know, she never cussed. So to hear her say. And I remember her just saying that made me be like, oh, Grandma. And I, I like, through my tears, I was laughing because I had to tell my sister the next day. Like, listen to what grandma said. Anyway, so maybe this was in May, June, by August, that, the beginning of August, my grandma passed away and we, we lay her to rest. And maybe, maybe a couple of days, maybe three, four days after I get back, I go back to work. I've been off, my FMLA has ended and I'm going back to work. And remember, they put me on the second shift. I'm not allowed to go back to my, my shift where I knew everybody. Plus I didn't want to. I was getting death threats over work, email from his friends that if I, if I go back to that ship, they were going to hurt me and all of that. And I would send it to HR and nothing would, would happen.
- [80:39]
A
That is horrible.
- [80:40]
B
Yeah, yeah, don't worry. I get my, I get my revenge. I work over the weekends to get my revenge on, on them. Anyway, so I, I go back to work and again, like the divine powers take over. My grandma just passed away and before, you know, before work starts and I'm in college at this time too. I think I was off for the summer. But the reason why I worked at this company is it was kind of my college job and to take you in and I'll explain the things that were taken away from me, but I was going to college at the time, in working here, I didn't want to do this for the rest of my life. You know, I had dreams and visions, but that day that I started work, we all stand around and we're, you know, we have this big group huddle before, you know, our shift starts. And through the crowd I see this guy that I'd never seen before in my life. And maybe I was delusional, maybe I was dissociated at the time, but it was just this, this. It wasn't love at first sight. Maybe it was, I don't know, but it was just this sudden feeling for me, like I need to know him, like we're supposed to. There's something in this life that we're connected on, and I don't know what.
- [82:06]
A
It is, but we need to cross paths.
- [82:07]
B
But we need to cross paths. And it was just this very powerful feeling. The world stopped and it was just me kind of tunnel visioned on him again. Don't know if I was delusional, disassociated at the time, but I like to believe it was my grandma blessing me with my soulmate. And not at the time did I put those two together, but. So this was in August. I. I end up talking to him, and his name is Jeff. And we become really good friends. I'm still with. I'm still with my child's father at this time, but. But Jeff and I become really good friends. Become super close after. He worked second shift too, so we would sit up and talk all night until the early morning about anything and everything. He was the first person that I really felt like I had been in the silence of my own story. And Jeff knew nothing. He didn't even know that that happened. But we just, we talked about it. You know, I had explained to him what had happened and he genuinely was interested. And we would talk, but it wasn't even about that. And he would share his. You know, he comes from a very broken family and his mom is just a basket case. You know, it just comes from a very broken family. But we related on. I don't come from that kind of family, but I. I could understand the brokenness. Right? But we laughed and it just. It just felt like it was so powerful. Anyway, so this happens for a few months. We. We just talk. And, you know, Casey knows Jeff. I introduced Casey and Jeff and we even go to the movies together. We have lunch together, you know, all of it, like all of us. And Casey thought Jeff was cool. Like, I just thought Jeff was a friend. Well, then one night after work. Casey and I never lived together, not once in our relationship. I had an apartment by this time I moved out of my mom and dad's house. They had to move to Tennessee because my dad got a promotion at this company and. And they moved to Tennessee. And I have to stay behind because I'm going through all these legal matters. It hadn't. The DNA results still hadn't come back yet, so. And I was. I was kind of batshit crazy not to be. Not to spend. You know, spend. Like things were perfect or anything like that. I was. I was going through it. Anyway, so Jeff and I become really good friends. We all were going to go bowling that night, and Casey was supposed to come. And keep in mind, going to a work event, it wasn't a work event. It was just friends getting together. That, too, was a little scary for me. Absolutely. Like, I always was looking for the safe person to make sure they don't leave you. Right? Yeah. So Casey can't go, but Jeff was going. And I said to Jeff, you know, hey, look, I'm kind of weird about going out with a whole bunch of people that I, like, I'm cool with, but that I don't 100% know. And he's like, it's okay. Like, I got you, like, anywhere you go, I'll go. I was like, all right, cool. So we go bowling. And I didn't want the night to end. Like, we just talked and laughed the entire night. And we had a friend in common. I went to high school with her. Her name's Tootie. She's my assistant now today, many years later. But Tudi, I was like, you know, you have to come over to my apartment and look at the yearbook picture of Tootie. It's so funny. I actually did her hair because Tudi wanted to look like Drew Barrymore with the curly, you know, short, curly hair. She wanted to look like Drew Barrymore for her senior picture. And that poor girl, I did her hair for her. She looked like an emu.
- [86:18]
A
Oh, my God.
- [86:19]
B
Yeah. And I was like, you have to come over and look at this picture. You're gonna die. And so he came over and we ended up talking all night again. And, you know, at my apartment. And we laughed at the picture. And, you know, we laughed during the night. And then he tells me, hey, you know, it was getting to be daylight outside. Outside, it's almost 6 o' clock in the morning. And he's like, I gotta go. You know, I have to get sleep. Because we had to go to work later that night. And I ruined the friendship. I kissed him. Like, I walked him to the door. I kissed him. And I was still with my boyfriend at the time. And I backed up and I was like, oh, my God. And he's like, what? And I said, I'm still with Casey. And I remember he said, would it make you feel better if I kissed you back so you weren't the one that kissed me? And I was like, okay, both of us are, like, feeling this, like, because I never brought it up to him. Like, hey, I'm attracted to you. I feel this way. I never really thought about it. I just. I just thought he was an amazing person. And I was like, no. He ended up leaving. I had always felt super connected to him to the point where Casey started feeling it. And Casey set a boundary of, you can't talk to Jeff anymore. And I was like, well, I guess I have to quit my job then. So I quit working at this company and I went to go work at a law firm because that's what. That's my long term goal was to go into law school. So I went to go work at this law firm and I tell Jeff, listen, I can't talk to you anymore. I have to make this work with my child's dad. And I told him before we, you know, went off into our own world, like, I can't do this because I feel like I'm falling in love with you. And he said the same. Like, he's like, I'm not falling in love with you. I am in love with you. And it was just that, like, cinematic, like fml, you know, but you have to, you have to go back to the toxic, shitty relationship. Well, during this time. So now it's been about six months. I'm trying to remember if this is before or after. I think it was, I think it was after when I left for the law firm. I. I get a call from the police station. Yeah, it was definitely after because I was no longer working there. I get a call from the police station. The DA DNA results have come back. And they. There was no chance in hell. I mean, it was like one out of, you know, 8 billion people that there wasn't enough people in the world to, you know, for there to be that ratio. But during this time, I had connected really well with my sex crime investigator. She was amazing, very helpful. And I would tell her what was going on, what had happened at work, how they. They made me, you know, change shifts, how I was getting death threats on work, email would turn it over to hr. Nobody would do anything, just all of these things. And she hit him right where it hurt. And so the DNA results come back. This is six months after they're going to make the arrest. Instead of going to his home, they go to the company's cafeteria. They have this big cafeteria, and they arrest him in front of everybody. And they say, you're arrested for the sexual assault and attempted murder of Teresa Cooper in front of everybody. And they haul his ass out to jail. And then that's. You know, my mom and dad are gone at this time. My sister is. I live in Austin now. My sister lives maybe an hour away. I don't feel support from my child's dad whatsoever. I really haven't connected. Anthony was really the only friend that my. Anthony and Tudi were really the only friends that I spoke to openly about what I was feeling. And I'm sorry. Carrie, too. So there's three friends that I really could openly talk about. You know, this is how I'm feeling. This is what I'm going through, all of that. But I really wanted my mom. My mom's all the way in Tennessee, and I call my mom and I say that, you know, he's been arrested. And she was so happy and excited and all of that. But when you're going through the pursuit of justice and having to tell your story over and over and over and over again, it almost is defeating. Like, it just. It's not paralyzing. You're just exhausted from telling this story 8,000 times. And, you know, every move that you remember that he did, it just. I remember telling my friend Carrie about it, and she's like. Part of me is, like, feeling like these guys are getting off on the freaking story. Yeah. How much they ask you about it. I'm like, yeah, it's just. It's so weird. But I really wanted my mom. Just. That's who I wanted, you know? And during this time now, you know, six months had lapsed. He's in jail. I'm in college at the time.
- [92:15]
A
And the company kept supervisor working.
- [92:18]
B
Company kept supervisor working. We'll get into that here in a minute. Company kept supervisor working guys in jail. And I make the decision. My sister is. Now she lives in. She. She ended up getting married, and she was married to a military guy, and they get stationed in Colorado. So my sister's in Colorado. This is all within that year. My mom's in Tennessee. I only have, you know, three friends that I can really process and talk this with. But I'm also feeling the shame, the embarrassment, the feeling of the burden, feeling like I'm being too much. So I really didn't feel like I would share with them, but I felt like if I talk about it too much, I'm going overboard, and I don't. I want to spare them not to feel like the. The heavy. So of course, I became like the joker of the. Of the friend group and would joke around a lot. And it was. It was me masking my pain and shame and what had happened. And I. By this time, I was working at the law firm, and maybe it was like a year after the fact, because I remember it was warm again outside. So let's say April, one year later. I had. I knew, like, I had to talk to Jeff and I didn't call him, but I knew what time he, like, got off for lunch. So I drove up to work and he had cut his hair. He had grown out his hair, because before he had, like, kind of a flat top, you know, the 90s style kind of flat top boycott. And I had pulled up to the building and I saw him walking across the parking lot and immediately got butterflies, like, oh, my God. And I remember yelling out like, hey, Jeff. And he comes over to my car and he's like, hi, what are you doing here? And I lied and said I was picking someone up for lunch. I wasn't. I came there to see him and. And I said, oh, you know, picking up someone. And he said. I said, oh, you grow out your hair? And he's like, yeah, I did. He's like. And I said. He said, how are you? And I said, well, he got arrested. And he's like, I heard. He's like, I wanted to call you because it was big news here, you know, made all of the employees, and I wanted to call you, but I know that you. You, you know, wanted to stop contact with me. And I was like, I wish that you did call me. Why don't you call me tonight? Anyway, he kind of set up that boundary that night that as long as I was with Casey, that this wasn't going to work. You know, we couldn't even be friends. So I. I respected his boundaries. But in my gut, I was like, I have to make the relationship with Taylor's dad work. You know, my parents were together. Even though my parents were in a loving relationship, and my dad respected my mom, I had to make this work. Anyway, so my sister's in Colorado at this time. She gets pregnant with my niece Cameron, and she was having complications during her pregnancy. And she had my other niece, Sydney, at the time, who was maybe three, four years old. And my sister had, you know, my sister was up there by herself with her husband, and she didn't have any friends or family down there. So she asked me to come up while she was in. While she was in Colorado to help her with Sydney. So I took. You know, I took some time off of work, and by this time, I was working at the law firm. Took some time off of work. And maybe the second day that I was there, Casey drove and dropped me off at the. The airport. And while I was there, I called back home, and all of this should have been, like, I was still very deep in my ptsd. And we'll talk a lot about that, but Casey's. I called home maybe a day or two afterwards just to check in with Casey and see how he was, and another girl answered the phone and basically broke up with me for Casey because they were together now, and most women would be like, you know, total betrayal, all of that. But to me, it was finally permission to move on, that I don't have to make this work. And immediately I called. I called Jeff that night, and we have been together ever since. So 20. I think 23, 24 years now.
- [97:29]
A
Crazy.
- [97:30]
B
So, yeah, we've been together ever since. He is still like, to know Jeff is to love Jeff. Anybody that meets Jeff loves Jeff. He's. He's so funny, but he has such a wonderful heart, and people just feel very welcomed by him. So I'm very lucky to have him. But Jeff also had to learn about my trauma, too, and unfortunately, we ended up being together. But I had made the decision before going to Colorado that I was moving to Michigan to complete college. Focus 100 on going to college. And before all of this happened, so my. We kind of grew up. And, you know, there was no podcasts. There were no blogs. There was. You know, we barely had the Internet. So you never. We're lucky and we're fortunate now to have these podcasts. That's why it's so important that you allow people to tell their stories, so people can learn and connect, feel connected to others, you know, but back then, we didn't have any of that. So. So you did feel. Still, you did feel alone. You did feel like you were the only one that had experienced those feelings. And you start questioning if you're insane because you have all of these loopy thoughts. Am I the only. Am I the only stupid woman that took a shot when. When my. My mom said never to take a shot from a stranger? Am I the only stupid one that would take a shot? Why was I wearing Matching panties and a bra. I should have gone home instead of going to a party. Like, all the shame and guilt from.
- [99:22]
A
And self blame.
- [99:23]
B
Very much so. Very, very much.
- [99:27]
A
It probably too felt more common then to just move forward and brush things under the rug. Like, why keep beating a dead horse? There's nothing much else we can do is like, he's in jail now.
- [99:37]
B
You know, we hadn't gone to trial yet.
- [99:40]
A
Okay.
- [99:41]
B
So people are going to be amazed and shocked by this part of the story. So as a kid, again, we didn't have podcasts, we didn't have the true crime YouTube community. We didn't have anything like that. What we had was crime shows like Unsolved Mysteries. We had.
- [100:01]
A
Was 2020 around yet?
- [100:03]
B
I don't think so. I don't think 2020 was. But we had. What's that one with John Walsh, America, America's Most Wanted.
- [100:11]
A
Okay.
- [100:11]
B
We had America's Most Wanted, we had Unsolved Mysteries. And then the O.J. simpson trial had started when I was in high school and Court TV came about.
- [100:21]
A
Yeah.
- [100:22]
B
So it was not uncommon that my mom, my mom was a big crime show person. So my sister and I love to spend time with our mom and we would just like, kind of have to get and like accept, you know, hey, this is our life too. So we would watch Unsolved Mysteries. And even to this day, whenever I hear the theme song, I'm like, God, that is so terrifying. This, the theme song to Unsolved Mysteries is such a terrifying song, but theme, theme song. But I Remember when the O.J. simpson trial so started. And imagine this for, for your viewers and listeners that because I'm a lot older than probably a lot of your viewers and listeners, but imagine when we all watched the trial for Johnny Depp, and Amber heard Johnny Depp's attorney, Vanessa, how powerful she was and how every woman in America was just like, that is that she is such a power play. That's how I felt with Marshall Marsha Clark when I was watching the O.J. simpson trial. And I was like that. I never realized what I wanted to do. And even though I had a son so young and went through, you know, in high school, I had teachers and students tell me that, you know, you're going to work at Walmart for the rest of your life or you're gonna depend on the system for the rest of your life. So I've always been that in the mentality and my dad wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, when I told him I was pregnant, he picked up a chair and threw it and told me that I was still going to college. Like, there was no question about it. But I. When I saw Marcia Clark on Court tv, this was brand new. I was like, that's what I want to do. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew that that's. I wanted to be her one day. So I. I went to college. My undergrad was in, you know, criminology and sociology. I double majored. And my hope and dream was to go into law school. But then the. The. My whole thing started, and I was now in college. Jeff was here in Tech, not here. Jeff was in Texas. And I was all the way up in Michigan. I decided to go to college there. My mom and dad. My dad quit his job, and my mom and dad moved to Michigan because they knew that I was going to need help with my son, to help me with Taylor, and so that we could also. You know, my son and I could also bond after this awful crime. And I get a call. This is probably in the first semester of college when I go up to Michigan. Jeff and I are still talking and all of that, but I get a call from the district attorney, and they said, we have good news for you. And I was like, okay. And they said, he's going to accept a plea deal. They never once told me what the plea deal was until he accepted it. So it wasn't like I couldn't tell them yes or no. He just called me to tell me what the plea deal was, and he said, keep in mind, everybody, you're going to drop your jaw. He drugged me, abducted me, raped me for hours. I haven't had my colostomy bag put on yet. I had been already told by the doctors that I need one. I was 23 years old, 22. 23 years old at this time. And I was trying to believe it wasn't true that I. And things, you know, obviously were happening with my body that I'm like, okay, I'm gonna need one. But not right now. Not yet. Not yet. So I would go in and have, like, these little surgeries and stuff like that.
- [104:28]
A
And you had to have all those surgeries because of the rain?
- [104:31]
B
Yeah. So stitches and stuff like that. And it was, you know, it wasn't fair because, yes, it was just day surgery that I would go in, but I would be down and out for a couple of days, you know, after that.
- [104:44]
A
The fact that you had to have surgery, the fact that it happened at all.
- [104:47]
B
Right, Absolutely. You know, so he Calls me, and he's like, well, I have good news for you. And I said, what's that? And I actually. I was 22 at this time. What's that? And he said, well, he wants to accept a plea deal. So he originally had told the police that he had not touched me. And then when the DNA results came back, it showed proof that he did. There was no other DNA on me except for his. They had taken not just the DNA from me, but they took the couch cushions, the samples of the carpet, the glass for fingerprints, all of that into evidence. In fact, the second roommate had seen me when I was working at the company, had seen me there and was like. He. He was. I think he was trying to be funny, but it wasn't funny to me. And it also made me feel really bad. He's like, yeah, we had to buy a new couch after you. And this was the supervisor. And hit the second roommate. Not the one that found me, but the other one that worked the second shift. So he saw me on the second shift and made that comment. And I remember, like, crying, and Jeff and I would, like, take breaks and we would go sit outside. And I remember one night after that happened, telling him about it. And Jeff just has a good way of listening. But, you know, sometimes I tell him, like, you can take a perfect moment and ruin it with a joke. Like, we were having a real sincere, sincere moment. Then you just had to tell a joke and make me laugh. But he just. He had a good way of listening, but also, like, kind of flip my mood up upside down. So I kind of let go of that really quick. But they had taken so much DNA evidence that when it came to trial, there was no. And his attorney said, listen, we're not. You're gonna serve time for this. There's no getting around this whatsoever. So he took a plea deal, which the. And I want. I want people to understand that the most horrendous crime happened to me. Not just the sex, you know, not just the rape, the. The sex crime, but the strangulation, the abduction, the. The drugging, all of that happened to me. But this man got pregnant. Probation. He got 15 years probation. And then they said, the good thing is in everybody needs to remember these words, he is going to be on the lifetime sex offender list for the rest of his life. For the rest of his life. Once a year, he's going to have to go into the police department, wherever he lives, take a picture, fill out a card of where he lives, and he'll have to remember why he's there for the rest of his life and then for the remainder of the year he's going to have to worry about when the cops come and do a verification compliance check that he put down the right address. So for the rest of the year he's going to have to worry about his door being knocked on when he has friends and family over that might not know of his crime or they might go next door and knock on if he's not home, knock on the neighbor's store and ask if he lives there. And he, he like almost, it was almost like a salesy pitch of hey, you're, you're getting a good deal here.
- [108:22]
A
And so 15 year probation means he wouldn't go to jail.
- [108:27]
B
Right? So but remember my mom is the feisty Italian lady who was with me when the attorney called and she's like well what if we don't want to accept that? And they said well we've already accepted it for her and my. And then the district attorney said and keep this in mind because it's going to come back. We're giving him enough rope to hang himself because he's not going to be law abiding for 15 years. There's no way. So I also harbored the guilt of not being my story, not being good enough for this man to go to prison, feeling the terror of oh my God, my story wasn't good enough to put him in prison but now he's gonna have another victim and what if she doesn't make it?
- [109:27]
A
Do you have any fear of him trying to hurt you?
- [109:31]
B
That's coming. Okay, so I still continue on with school and I decide that I'm going to stay in Michigan and Jeff and I are trying to figure that out too of you know, if. And we would, we were really good. This was pre 911 so flights were really cheap. You know, we would see each other once every three weeks and you know, it. Our long distance relationship wasn't bad. Plus I feel like we, I think I have this analogy that our relationship is still so good because we didn't have that. We had no other choice but to get to know each other over the phone and learn how to communicate with each other. So we had that early on where our communication was, you know, either we communicated or we don't. And we made a choice to, you know, always communicate with each other. But he, yeah he got, he got promotion, probation. I decided to stay in Michigan with my parents and finish school. We were trying to figure out okay, what are, you know, are you Going to move here? Am I going to finish school? Like, I don't know where I'm going to go to law school yet. All of the things. And then I. Then it hit my sister who had down syndrome. It all hit like one after another. My sister. About a couple days before 9 11, my sister with down syndrome got walking pneumonia. We didn't know because she was non verbal, but we could tell, like she was sick. We just thought it was a winter cold. We were up in Michigan. But one night I went back to my apartment and my mom and dad were at home and my sister or my, my mother called me and said, hey, I need you to come home and help me with Kimmy. Because she, like, something's wrong. I just went in to make sure that she had water. She's really, she's been really sick with a cold, but her lips look really purple. Do you mind coming home and helping me take her to the hospital? And my dad had been on a flight. He flew the night or the day, the day of. So he was. And he had a flight the next. He was pilot, so he had a flight the next day. So my mom was like, I don't feel comfortable waking up your dad. He needs to sleep. It's like, of course, Mom. So I, I go back to the house and I remember walking in and. And you know, helping my mom put the, you know, my sister's shoes. And my sister Kimmy was older than me, but, you know, at my heart she was so much younger. But helping my mom put her shoes on and putting her coat on. And we walked her out to the car and I looked over to my mom and I said, did you get her insurance card? Did you get the medicine that she's been on? The doctors at the ER are going to ask that. And again, this divine thing happened in my life where I am. My mom had already buried a child. My brother had leukemia and passed away from leukemia, so she had already buried a child. I had already gone through my situation and then now, you know, my mom runs in. And it just so happened that when my mom was in the house, my sister was sitting right behind me in the car. And I was going to drive, so I was in the driver's seat. My sister was right behind me, buckled in. And I heard her make a big gasp and literally kind of collapse, like, you know, going forward. And I, it, it felt like I sat there for minutes, like trying to contemplate, like, is my sister okay? And I, it probably was a matter of seconds, but I, I Started, you know, trying to get, you know, kind of turned around in my chair and like try to wake her up. And I could tell like she wasn't breathing. By this time my mom came outside and I flung open the door and I told my mom, call 91 1. And she was like, what's wrong? And I was like, kimmy's not breathing. And my mom stands in the middle of the yard screaming. And I'm trying to do cpr. My sister and I can't get her. I can't maneuver her because she's, she was larger, you know, she was a larger girl. I couldn't maneuver her to get her flat on the seat. And I was like, my mom, my mom was in pure panic and shock that she wasn't going to get in the damn phone. So I was like, okay, I gotta run in as fast as I can and get the phone and then get my dad to, you know, come out and help me. So I run in, I grab the phone, I call 91 1. I'm on the phone with 91 1, you know, saying, you know, please get to this address. My sister's not breathing. And I fling open the door, my poor dad was neck is sleeping nude. He didn't know I was coming over to the house. I fling open the door and all of us, my friends and, and my sister and I call him Lorenzo. My dad, Lorenzo's like, I, he asked me later on, he's like, oh, we didn't see anything. I was like, dad, I was so out of it at that moment.
- [114:53]
A
Nothing matters.
- [114:55]
B
You don't have nothing to be embarrassed about. We're good. We're good. And so my dad, I tell my dad and my dad goes into again, he's high ranking military guy and just knows what to do in traumatic events. And he runs out of the house and he, he and I start doing CPR. As I'm on the phone with 91 1, he and I. And that is the most exotic. Like I gone through CPR classes, but I didn't ever have to do it in real life. It is the most exhausting thing because your adrenaline's so high and you're just like, breathe, you know, especially when it's your sister. And my, I hand the phone to my mom and I say, you need to do 91 1. And my mom's, you know, screaming and hailing and my dad and I got her to breathe. And then it was a matter of minutes before the paramedics got there. But you know, when you're in that it feels forever. And so they pull up and, you know, take her off and stuff like that. And she ended up, she didn't make it. And so now I was dealing with PTSD from everything, the shame and embarrassment that I didn't get, the justice that I deserved and felt retraumatized by the system. My sister just passed away. And like anybody that has lost a sibling can resonate with this. Seeing your parents mourn a sibling and knowing there's nothing you can do, like your personality, you being there, all of that can't take away their pain. That is a very heavy, hard thing to sit with because all my parents are such beautiful people. And to down sit, see them hurt the way that they did. That's all I wanted was just to take their pain and, and, you know, hold it for them because was so tough for them. And my mom also kind of lost her identity too, because she's always, she was a nurse, but then she quit her job and yeah, she's a caretaker, so she kind of lost her identity in that. But we all made the decision to move back to Texas. I was, I was getting out of school anyway. And I'll never forget calling Jeff and saying, hey, this is what we're actually going to do now. And him being so excited. And this is probably maybe six, eight months after the guy's on probation. So we moved back to Texas and I'm out of school now. I take a, I went to school for sociology and criminology and I take a job working for a child, a children's shelter that works with child protective Services out of Texas. And probably two or three months into that job I decide to take. They were teen kids. I just, I, I, me and this guy named Oscar, we decided to take them to a pizza place for dinner just to get out of the shelter and like, enjoy and also for them to connect with each other and all of that just to have some respite from their own trauma that, you know, being with your mom and dad that are utterly abusive. That's all they know. And they're away from their friends, they're away from, you know, everything that they know just to give them some respite of not having to think about that and connect with each other and enjoy some pizza. So I'm having pizza at the pizza place and lo and behold, who walks in? He does. He knew I was there. He comes in and I'm sitting at a table in the booth with, you know, these children and my co worker, I think there was, you know, Four kids and me and him comes in and there's a booth right across from us. And he doesn't order any food, no drink, nothing. He goes and sits down at the booth and looks at me and stares at me. Would not take his eyes off of me. And I told the kids, I said, let's, you know, we had gotten the pizza and I said, we're going to take this to go. And Oscar's like, what the hell, Theresa? What do you mean we're taking this pizza to go? And I said, listen, we got to go now. And he thought it was one of the kids parents that had walked in. And when we got out to the van, he was like, what, what happened was that so and so's dad. And I said no. Did you see him? And he said, yes, I saw him. And I said no. And I had to, I had to come out and tell him, hey, that's, you know, that's my rapist. And you know, he's probation. He's not supposed to be around me. I have a protective order against him. And I, we end up leaving. I just wanted to forget about it. By this time, when I moved back to Texas, it's just Jeff and I and Taylor all living together. My mom and dad, you know, lived maybe 30, 45 minutes away. And I don't know how I'm trying to space out like how. So there was that incident and then maybe a week later I had to go to a visit for work. And it was out near the Austin airport and back that now it has like a whole bunch of highways and stuff like that near it. But back in the day it was just kind of a county road that would go in and out of the airport. It was kind of a, a, a two lane, you know, highway. But there was a convenience store right across the street from the airport. And I had to go out by, they call it Del Valley. I had to go out to Del Valley and to get back into Austin, you kind of had to go through the airport. And I remember I had to go to the bathroom, but I also had to get gas really bad and I probably wanted cigarettes or something like that. So I pull into this convenience store and all of a sudden there's a car that pulls in right after me. And I didn't think anything of it, you know, whatever, people are coming in and out of that convenience store, but this car pulls in right behind me and he gets out of the car and he walks in front of his car. So my, my tail ends here, his front end's here. He gets out of his car, walks in the front, and he's intimidating me. He's doing it on purpose, just staring at me. Gets out of his car. The rapist, again, this is a rapist. Stands and stands. Here's the back end of my car. Here's his front end. I look in the. The rearview mirror. I see him, and there's a car that's right in front of me. So I can't just drive off. I'm kind of packed in. And I remember looking over. I don't know how I had this. I must have gone to a wedding. But back then, it was. It was the early 2000s. Everybody had the cardboard disposable cameras. I had one of those. And I started taking pictures of him to show to the police that he's been following me. And I knew I had Oscar's testimony, but now I was by myself, so I started taking pictures. And a guy had gotten out of his car, and I screamed at him. And I told him what. What that, you know, that was my rapist. He's behind me. He's. He's following me. And the guy. I remember, he was a big old guy. As soon as I said he was my rapist. You know, men don't like to hear that at all. And he went into protection mode. And basically, I think he was the car in front of me, moved his car up and, like, helped me, you know, move, helped me get out. And then he. Basically, when I drove away, him and that guy were talking. And you could tell the mat. The guy was mad just by his. His physical language. You could. You tell he was not happy with my rapist. So that night, I call my mom and I tell her what has been going on. And she's like, you need to go and get those pictures developed as soon as possible. We're going to go tomorrow, and we're going to make a report to show that he's been stalking you and violating your protective order. Keep in mind, protective order. Like, all right, cool. That night, he ended up going to. This is what got him thrown into prison for over a decade. Ultimately, it was because he violated the probation against me. But he had gone out drinking. He was on a motorcycle that night after seeing me. So the universe, Destiny, kind of helped myself out again. He went out drinking. He was on a motorcycle, and he got charged with a dwi. And the. The DA was like, yep, we gave you enough rope. You hung yourself. We're revoking all of your probation, and there's no Suspension on your sentence. You have to serve that entire time in prison. And so he, you know, we go through the process, all of that. I go to court and they're allowing me because the first time I didn't do a victim witness statement. I was in Michigan at the time. But he, he did a plea bargain. I just never got to do a victim witness statement. So they asked me to do a victim witness statement when we went back to court for his sentencing. And so I did a victim witness statement. They had the pictures, all of that stuff when he was following me. So they knew that he was also stalking, aside from just the dwi. And my two best friends and I were talking last night and I had to call Kerry because Carrie. Carrie had been there since day one, like after the sexual assault, up until this point of, you know, going back to court because he hung himself with a dwi. That's what landed him in prison. It wasn't my rape and strangulate, you know, it was a dwi. That's what, unfortunately, that's the reality that sex crime victims have to face is just, no, no harsh punishments for. For offenders. But I, he, he said in open court that, he said because I was, you know, I was, I was a lot thinner when he met me. And like, part of my trauma was trying to make myself less appealing. Jeff loved me despite anything, but make myself less appealing. So I gained weight. And he told open court. They showed him a picture of me, and he's in, in front of all of the courtroom. He's like, well, she's gotten really fat. And all of the women, it, like, that was just so harsh that this man and I didn't give a shit. I was like, good, you don't find me attractive anymore. Bingo. I'm, you know, I'm winning. So every, every woman was offended me not. None whatsoever. I don't want to be attractive to you anyway. So I did my victim witness statement. Victim witness statement. And he ends up going to prison. I think he ended up. He got 15 years of probation. I think he, he served the full time without a suspended. You know, a lot of times people will only serve 50% or 80%. He had to serve the full amount, and I think he served maybe 13, 14 years in prison. And the other thing with. I want people to understand that I have never resonated with the word survivor. I just haven't. Because to me, surviving is restoration, right? It's restoring who you were when you are. When you are a sex crime victim, you have the life before and the life after. And you see things through a different lens, where the things that you loved and enjoyed at one time in life now become familiar but foreign to you at the same time. And I was never the same person that I was before that. So there was no, yes, my body is still here, But I had to crawl and peel through every layer that I could to restore myself into the person who I am today. Didn't go to law school, you know, didn't complete law school. That was taken from me, but my safety and my security was taken from me. Being in fear all the time for not only myself, but my nieces and my daughter and my, you know, I. I have a daughter with Jeff, Sarah, who's 22 now, my age when, you know, around my age when all of this happened, you know, being in fear for her. There's so much wrapped up in sexual violent crimes that it's not just the shame, it's not just the guilt. It's the betrayal of your own body. It's the feeling of trying to find your own self and having to grieve the loss of yourself every single day and having to wake up every single day and remembering that this happened to you and making the best foot, you know, taking the best foot forward. I went through several years of therapy, but I would always get to a certain part, and of course, I'm healed and I'm much further away from this now that I can talk fully about the crime. But I would get to a certain part of my. Of the crime right before he would urinate on me. That was the thing that I would stop therapy because I didn't want to go any further. That was the destructive piece that I just couldn't say out loud. Oh, and then, you know, it. He wasn't done. You know, he thought he killed me, but he wanted to make sure by urinating on me. I couldn't say that out loud. And it would just stop therapy altogether, and it would just bring me back into the pattern of. Of, you know, my ptsd. It ruined friendships. It ruined many relationships.
- [129:53]
A
Well, you change, you know, nobody else around you does. I mean, maybe, you know, the people that were directly affected, like your family and.
- [130:00]
B
Right.
- [130:01]
A
But other people around you, the acquaintances, the friends. I always say, you know, people can feel for you.
- [130:09]
B
Right.
- [130:10]
A
But it really, truly is impossible to know unless you went through it. And even what you're talking about of the life before, the life after, people just see the act and what happened, but they don't know internally what you're battling and dealing with every single day.
- [130:25]
B
Yeah.
- [130:26]
A
From it.
- [130:26]
B
I. And I get that. But as women, I don't think there's any woman in this world that hasn't been affected either. Their friends, their family, acquaintances. You don't know someone that hasn't been affected by this type of crime. Right. Like all of us. All of us women know, hey, I have a friend that was sexually harassed at work or, you know, manhandled or. Right. So I always felt like a woman should be my biggest advocate. And I quickly learned that the only person that can be my best advocate and speak up for myself was myself.
- [131:10]
A
Absolutely. So.
- [131:12]
B
And that took years and years and years to get to. So going through therapy, I had awful. Jeff. And I call them PTSD dreams of just, you know, but also the physical piece, too, because trauma. Yes. It's a. It's.
- [131:30]
A
It stores in the body.
- [131:32]
B
It does. And so I have this weird tic where I'll just cough. I have like. I quit swimming because of the fear of when I hold my breath. It automatically triggers me because I held my breath for so long when all of that was happening. Right. When I was. I think it was 25, I went to the doctor and I was having issues, and I. There was no way of doing another, you know, surgery. So that's when we made the decision to do the colostomy bag, which ultimately, you know, Since I was 21, they said that that would have to happen. I felt even, like a burden then. Like, is Jeff even going to find me attractive? Jeff has never once, like, intimacy was never ruined. Nothing. He has never once said anything about it. Like, he's been very, very supportive and, like, would always tell me how proud I am and always tells me, you're so beautiful, all of that. But he's never made me feel, you know, he's never been weirded out by it or anything like that. He's just like, I'll take what I can get. I don't care.
- [132:46]
A
It's not. It's not reversible. Right.
- [132:48]
B
It's no life. Yeah. It's for life. But when he. So lots of. Lots have changed. I, you know, not just had my son, who's now, by the way, today he's 30 years old. He's an incredibly smart man. He's suit. He's the funniest person I know. I always say, you got your sense of humor from me. Him and Jeff are very close, but. And they always. They always think Jeff is his biological dad, but that's fine. But I'm like, you Got your sense of humor from me, 100%. He's so funny, and he's incredibly smart. He's. I think he's getting his PhD in history. Like he wants to be a history teacher. He's just. Both he and I beat the odds, you know, because usually, you know, when you're a teen mom, you don't go on to college and your kid doesn't go off to college and all of this. And I always am, like, very proud of us for beating the odds there. But now, you know, Jeff and I together, you know, we always look at. Sometimes I forget that Taylor is not his. And Taylor's dad has. As soon as we broke up, he never really developed a relationship with. With Taylor. And Taylor's now at the age where he's just like, yeah, that guy's a meathead. You always want to date. Why do date such a meathead, mom? But I have a daughter now, and I. It was really important for me to. To speak out for her too. It. But so many years of raising her and stuff like that. So when he. He got out of prison, I think Sarah was. Maybe she's 22 now, so maybe 12, 13 years old. I kept on going back to, okay, the DA said that he'll be on the lifetime offender database and that for the rest of his life, he'll have to go in and take a picture and fill out a form. And then for the remainder of the year, he's going to have to work worry about them coming and doing verification and compliance on. On him. So I just. That was my sliver of justice and feeling like I always knew where he was. He was in South Austin. I just never went to South Austin. I stayed all the way north. I always knew exactly what he looked like because they would take pictures of him, all of that. So I was. I was fine. Then the. And. And my PTSD life. Life continued on. And then in 2020, it was April. I Every. Every April is my birthday. It shouldn't be a bad month for me, but April. The shutdown happened March. April. I had. I forgot. I think I was sick or something like that. And I knew I didn't have Covid, but I was sick. And a different. I don't know, I forgot what it was, but I had gone to the hospital. And by this time, all the doctors and nurses, like the entire hospital ER is taped off. You have to go through, you know, just a very protective area. All of the nurses and doctors are wearing their protective gear. The. The mask, the, you know, all the Shield, the mask, the. The big robe with gloves and all of this. And I was. When I saw them like that, I was so sick. I kind of just didn't listen to what my mind and my body was saying. And they shuffled me into, like, kind of a red zone because they didn't know if I had Covid or not. And they were talking to me through a phone and it was just. It was a lot. Yeah, it was too much. But them being in that, the PPE gear it. It triggered reignited my PTSD because it took me back to the same nurse, and that's exactly how they were dressed. And so I'm going through, you know, another big, huge trigger that I hadn't really had that many triggers in years. And now we're also isolated. And I was. I was working at the time, and I think because of the. The shutdown, I think that they. They laid off a whole bunch of people because I was laid off. I wasn't working. I wasn't. You know, I. I just had home life to deal with. So. So I isolated and, and experiencing anxiety and depression and had not been on medicine for years and years and years, fought through that and then worked through that. My mom and dad lived right next door. I, by the way, I don't live there anymore. Just in case he is listening. I don't. I don't. I. I've moved like three times since this because of him. I. And there's some. Some things too, that I want to go back on that might. Might answer some of the questions for the listener, but I kind of worked through that. And then, and I think it was 20, 21, there was a huge lawsuit in Austin, Texas, against the da, the city of Austin, and the Austin Police Department for mishandling sex crime victim cases. Whether their. Their rape kits were not processed correctly or whether they didn't get a thorough investigation. A lot of victims sued for violating their constitutional crime victim rights. And one of the lady's stories, and I don't know if she was part of the lawsuit, I think she was, because I think it was in the lawsuit that I had read, but this man had broken into her home and had raped her in ways that I had been raped and strangled her, and after strangulation, he urinated on her. And what we know in sex offenders is one. It's not a singular thing. Usually it happens repeatedly. With my particular case, there were two people before for me, and unfortunately that happened in the late 80s, early 90s, when DNA was. Was not a thing. So while the women reported that. And we know that most people don't report, right? So there could be, like, for instance, with Austin, Texas, there could be 10,000 rapes that happen, but only, you know, 1% or I think it's 1 or 10%. I can't only, like, you know, a thousand people get through the system, and then thousand people report. Then you question why so many don't have harsh punishment or, you know, get any kind of justice. Only 1% of that. So you might have one or two cases each year that are from those thousand cases that have been reported. So anyway, I found out that he had done this, and this was prior to his trial. I had found out that he had done it twice before it was reported. One of the ladies he had also urinated on and strangled. I don't know about the first lady. I know the second lady he strangled and. And urinated on. And anyway, he urinated on and had. Had strangled and urinated on, and they let him go. And then I. I feel like he had done this a lot before. Me too. I was just fortunate enough to have a really good mom and dad. That, and not to say the other victims didn't have great support system or moms and dads. I just. My mom and dad did not put up with the police shed. You know, they. They were just no, like, you're. You're going to take care of our daughter. And despite it all, he only got probation. But they fought for a thorough investigation and, you know, if they had to pay out of pocket for whatever, they would pay out of pocket. Anyway. He seeing that in the new lawsuit that this woman had been strangled and urinated on and that her rape kit in Austin, Texas, was mishandled and she never got justice. I was like, what the fuck? This is him. This is 100% him. So I called. They call it the SOAR unit. And unfortunately, I wish that we all had, you know, Meredith's, Olivia's, and in real life, because if we did, our world would be, you know, from svu, our world would be a lot better. But it. The world doesn't really work like that. I have a SOAR unit called the Sex Offender Apprehension Registry, and every single police department agency across the nation has these. And I also want to make it clear to victims and victims families and those who. Who had victims that did not survive this, either from them taking their own life or from the crime itself, that you as a. You as a direct family member have access and rights to this information. I called the SOAR unit and I asked, this was in 2022. This is when it all started. I said, can you tell me when the last time you verified his address was? Because I knew he was doing something and they told me, oh, it's on the registry. I said, and by this time, I'm. I'm not so deep in my. I'm not so close to the crime. I'm 25, you know, by this time, I think it was 20, 23 or 23 years and into it. But I was just like they said to me, they said, it's on the registry. And I said, no, sir, that is when he reports. When did you verify the information? And I learned over, you know, I would call almost every, every week to see when did you verify? Because they would put me off. We're going to have to look into that. We're going to have to look into that. Well, the reason why they were looking into it is because they didn't want to tell me that they had not verified his address in over seven years. He was coming in yearly to do the, to give his address. And their thing is, well, he signs that that's true and accurate on the paper, that he's providing the true, accurate information. And I'm like, so wait a second. We're believing that.
- [144:03]
A
We're believing a rapist.
- [144:04]
B
Yeah, we're believing a rapist. Over. It was the what the fuck moment. Yeah. So I think in 2020, it was 2022 or 2023. I had been on their neck, just relentless, calling them, saying, you need to go out and verify his address, telling them why. And then kind of as a victim, I was, I was burdening them, you know, with asking them to do their job. And unfortunately, this isn't just an Austin, Texas thing. This is happening all over the nation for sex crime victims. And it just doesn't impact past victims. It impacts people that can be a future victim. It impacts the residents of that community who believe in the sex offender register that that's true and accurate. It's happening all across that these verification and compliance checks aren't really happening. In fact, if anybody wants to have a fun, fun interview, look up Austin, Texas, Fox News, APD SOAR Unit S O A R. And you can hear that. We'll get there. But you'll hear the, the head person over SOAR unit. When I finally went public about this and started fighting for reform, he has the audacity to just say, the news anchor says, well, how do you like, when do you guys do verification and compliance? And he said, well, you know, we just sniff it out, and if they're acting weird, then we'll go out and do a verification and compliance check. Do their sex offend? All of them should be weirdos to you. Like, that is not normal for anybody to do that to a person. That every single one of them should get a bad sniff test. That's weird. Anyway, in. I think it was in 2022, 2023, I had called. Early 2023, I had called in yet again. His name was Corporal Hector Campos. That I haven't. He was my point of contact at the SOAR Unit. And he had sent me a lot of gaslighty emails. Like, I, I would. We have in Texas, we have this thing called chapter 62. And I would just revert back to, you guys have to do verifications. And he said, we do verifications. The offender signs the document. That's them verifying that the accurate. The. There's truth and accuracy to what they wrote down. I'm like, okay, bro, like, you and I are on two different planets, because that's not verifying someone's information. But I called in and I asked him again, you know, have you gone out and done a compliance check on him? I don't feel safe. By this time, I had moved, I don't know, maybe two, three times by this point, and I had. I. I said, I, you know, I don't feel safe. This. This head of the SOAR Unit had the audacity to say, teresa, you should consider yourself lucky because most victims don't get the justice that you've gotten. And he's basically telling me to buzz off, like, take what I can get, like, at least I got a little bit of justice. Now I need to leave them alone. And I will never forget what I said back to him, though. I. I told him, I said, I hope that you're not a betting man, because what happened to me was not luck. Someone that has to sit with a colostomy bag for the rest of their life. And ptsd, that is so traumatizing. That's not luck. I hope that you don't. You're not a betting man. I think I called him an asshole and told him, I can't, you know, that what he just said was incredibly triggering and hung up the phone on him. And that night I tried to commit suicide. And obviously I didn't. Wasn't successful in that. But the. Just from 2022 up until that time, it was just like, this is never going to end. I am going to be scared for the rest of my life. I'm going to feel betrayed now by our justice system. One that I wanted to be a of. Part, part of and go to law school and, and all of that, like feel total betrayal. All of the, all of the gaslighting from apd. Like it felt like I was, I was back into the sex crime itself. Just the, the shame, the embarrassment, the burden that all of the feelings, the fear, the blame game, all of that came back 110% something that had, you know, I really definitely worked on, you know, during that time. But him saying that I was lucky, it almost again it went back to this is my fault. Because he's right. Like there's so many women that don't get justice that I did it. Like, how dare I ask them to go do this? This is never going to fucking end. I am, I'm never going to get the justice that I deserve. The sliver of justice that I was hoping for that at least he had to go in and he was doing, he was going in once a year but nobody was verifying any of his information. And that was one part of my justice. Like at least if I have to be scared for the rest of my life, at least he has to live in fear too when his door is knocked on. And that was taken from me an all one swoop. And I just didn't, I just didn't want to be here anymore. So after the suicide attempt I went to the hospital, all of that. My mom and dad and my husband and my kids begged me to get into intensive therapy. I had been holding on to what was going on with the SOAR unit again. I didn't want to burden them and I didn't want to put them in fear. So nobody really knew what was. I think that they like my sister knew a little bit about it, my mom and dad knew a little bit about it, but not enough to know that I was being so traumatized until it got so bad that I tried to kill myself. And then, you know, I had to come clean with everything. And I was, I went back into that silent mode. If I don't speak it then I can, I can not make it someone else's problem, not make other people feel like I'm being too heavy. So I went, I quit my job. I was working for a very well known company and had gone into intensive therapy. I was in intensive, I think anywhere from 8 months to 12 months where I was doing every single day, like group therapy, one on one therapy. I learned how to meditate. It Just all of these beautiful gifts that were given to me and that's why I'm here today. Like I through that I. It was kind of like a rising phoenix where I just became incredibly strong. And I realized in that point like the only person that can speak out for myself is myself. And knowing that there's other women and children out there behind every single one of those offenders that are on the register registry across not just Texas, but across the nation, that there's victims that sit behind offenders faces and knowing that they're getting more rights than the victims that sit behind their faces. I knew had I had to fight and just to circle back to. Because I know that a lot of people are going to question why the supervisor never got in trouble. He. When we were going through. And I want to. Before getting into the legislation, legislation changes that I'm making. The reason why he didn't get into trouble is they interviewed him and they said that he had left, that he had carried me out and stuff because I worked for him, which was true. And that he was worried about me, but that he left me with this other man because the other man said that I was drunk and that I could throw up and die. And he had to go back to the tavern because all of his employees were there. Well, the APD Austin Police Department found that story to be feasible and he never, he never got in trouble for it. I don't know where he is in life now. I know that he continued working for the company and also to. To. To again before getting into legislation and victim right. I want to clear up two other things. One, the reason why I keep on saying the company is because I. I did a huge settlement with them and I think 2020 or 2002 or 2003. I was still in my early 20s, but again my mom does not take from anyone and she's like no, he. They didn't do a background check before to show that he's been arrested for violent crimes in the past. They allowed him to continue working when he had a pending charge and not just any charge but a crime against one of their employees. They made you change your own shift and just different things. And she's like it was never about the money for us. I came from a very well off family. For me it's always changing the policies and making this world a better place.
- [154:16]
A
So that it doesn't happen anyone.
- [154:17]
B
It doesn't happen to anyone else. And I got that from my mom and my sister are the two people that really like shaded that of Kind color for me that that's what life is all about. But I, I, I ended up taking the company to court and we did a settlement. But part of my settlement wasn't just money. It was that they had to for the first time ever. And luckily it wasn't just my case but other companies because this, this was a very well known company, very, very successful, very well known company. So once this got into out into the working world, other companies started doing it too. But they didn't know behind the scenes who pushed them to do this. So I, there was two things that I, I made them do in the settlement that sexual harassment training was mandatory for every employee within the company and yearly training or I think it was once a year you had to be retrained or it was during orientation or whatever. But every person had to go through sexual harassment training because had I have known that or other people had heard the, the girl that he kept on asking is Teresa going to be there? Is Teresa going to be there? That was, that was harassment. Maybe she would have gone and talked to someone and all of that. The emails that I was getting from human in, from other, other employees there and sending them to human resources, life threatening emails. If you come back to this company, we're going to kill you. Like you're, like, you know, you're, it's unfortunate that he didn't kill you the first time, you know, stuff like that. And I would send it to HR and they wouldn't do anything. But that's a form of harassment. So you know I, I made it mandatory that, that for and unfortunately like with us we had to give it a time constraint. So I said for the next 30 years every employee that comes in has to do sexual harassment training. Luckily now the feds make it happen. But this is before the feds picked it up. The other thing was that they had to. So he had been there 10 years prior. This was in 99. So I guess he was like at this company we had badges and we had employee numbers, right. So you could tell like the tenure of someone based on their employee number. So there, you know, there was 1, 2, 3, right. By this time it was like in you know, six digit numbers. He only had three numbers on his badge. So he had been there for a very, very long time. And again, 80s, 90s, this other crime happened. But I made it mandatory that they go back every and I again I think the, I don't think it's because of me but the feds pick this up that now every company has to do it. I think it's every three years that you have to do a criminal background check. So I made that mandatory. And then, of course, you know, there was. There was damages to my claim, too, but I just wanted to make sure that I cleared up those two things. The other thing is you guys will hear me say the rapist. And the reason why that I don't say his name publicly is because I don't know where he is. I am still scared of him. And I will always. I will never publicly say his name until the day he dies because he's already shown me what he's capable of. But. And we'll. We'll start shifting back into the. The story during this time. I think it was. I went through my therapy in 2024. I found out that my prot. I no longer had a protective order. So once he served all of his time, and this goes for. And I'm going to tell new crime victims, or if you're ever put in this situation, which I believe, pray to God it stops today. But it's not as soon as he completed his entire sentence. So his, you know, 13, you know, his 15 years, that restraining order, protective order was lifted, even though he's on the lifetime offender database. And in Texas, I don't know about different states, but an offender is listed as high, medium, low. High is not, you know, if they reoffend, it's when they reoffend. Moderate is highly likely, and low is, you know, you know, maybe that is a, like, very low risk that, that he. To the community. But my protective order was taken away from me. This man's on the lifetime offender registry, Lissa. High risk offender. And I found out there was no protection for me. And yes, many people are going to say, theresa, that's just a piece of paper. And yes, you're right, it is just a piece of paper. Evil people will do evil things. They don't. A piece of paper isn't going to stop them. My thing is, is that if he ever came to my door, he found me, right? He came to my door. I see him on my security camera. I can't call the cops and say, hey, this man is on my property. I have a protective order against him. You know, he's supposed to be within a thousand feet. He's showing up on my property. This is the second or third time. All that they can do is give him a trespassing warning and hope he doesn't show back up. There's nothing I can do with law enforcement. Yes, I Could probably, you know, I'm in Texas. I could probably shoot, but then I'd be going to prison because I'd be shooting through my door. So he didn't show any, you know, potential risk. But if I had a protective order, there'd be no question the. The police would take him in immediately. So I. I went to the court and I found out that I didn't have a problem. Protective order. I went to Travis County D.A. we asked the court for them to issue a lifetime protective order. The judge said no. He doesn't impose any current threat. He's been, you know, this. This happened 25 years ago, even though he served, you know, 15. And, you know, it is what it is kind of thing. So now I've been, you know, I still get gas lit by the city and by the Austin Police Department, and it still really me up. But it. This is bigger than me, and it's not about me anymore. It's about protecting women and children and understanding our rights when they're violated. And if nobody is going, if our laws are not. Is only there to protect the offenders, then I'm going to change the laws to start protecting victims better.
- [162:05]
A
Yeah. Because a lot of victims, they might fight once or twice, and then when they're constantly shut down, they're going to give up. But if there's one person like you that keeps fighting for so many others, that's where the change is going to happen.
- [162:19]
B
Right. And also, you know, I think of there was a recent case in Oklahoma where this. This young boy, I think he's 18 years old now, but he had attempted rape on three girlfriends or three. Three girls he was dating and then tried to strangle them. And he was able to plead down to a misdemeanor. He was facing 40 years and was able to plead down to a misdemeanor. And. And again, those. Those cases aren't singular. Predators are going to be predators and they're going to be evil for the rest of their, you know, do evil shit for the rest of their life. So creating a space where there's harsher punishments for sex crime, violence that people can't plead down. There's a minimum. Yeah. You know, you know you're going to prison for at least three years if you do a crime like this. Two is a victim should never have to request a lifetime protective order against her right or their sex offender, especially if they're on the offender registry. You should never have to request that or find out after the fact.
- [163:30]
A
That should be a given.
- [163:31]
B
Yeah. So I'm, I, I've been fighting with that. And by the way, I'm working with the office of the Governor for the State of Texas Sex Assault Crime Task Force. And I'm also going to Congress, you know, in D.C. to, to also compel these to the federal government. To federal government, too. But, you know, the protective orders is really important to me. But the reform around the sex offender registry that was created by a mother who lost her daughter, who didn't know that this man that was around her child was a sex offender. And had she have known, would she have let her daughter walk into danger? No. So that sex offender Megan's Law was created for a little girl named Megan so that the community would know where these risk pools were. Right. So if we're not verifying that, and, and I'm going to give people the statistics for Austin, if we are not verifying that the sex offender actually lives there, then you are not being honest on the registry. And you know that public information that's out there is not true and accurate because there was no compliance or, you know, verification of it. And it just puts our community at such risk. And I think the victims behind the faces of those offenders are, are forgotten about. Yeah. And, and there's no. Once they serve their crime, the victim is forgotten about. There's no notification for me when my victim or when my victim, my offender is not verified or is out of compliance. So that is another thing that I am working on changing, is creating a notification system for the victims that have offenders on those, on those registries. Because we're the ones that will hold their neck to the flame of, you better be where you say that you are, because that is our sliver of justice. And if children's, you know, their parents will fight for that. We can stay on, you know, on the offender for, for being true and accurate and on the police department. The police department agencies, not dps. DPS is just the administrator of the database, but it's these peppered law enforcement agencies that are around your state that are the ones that are facilitating the registry yearly or, you know, sometimes it's every six months, sometimes it's monthly, but, but creating a verification system for, for or not verification notification system for victims that if the, if someone is out of compliance, then we are automatically notified. I don't care if a search warrant has been issued or not or not search warrant, arrest warrant has been issued or not, the victim has a crime victim right to feel safety from their law enforcement agency, period. That is part of, I Don't know other states. I know in the state of Texas and I know my constitutional rights. I actually read mine some, some of our legislators don't. But I know that I have a right to safety and I have a right to be verified to notification when someone is out of verification or hasn't verified or hasn't complied. So changing those laws and then I think putting accountability back on the, the local agencies and giving DPS the authorization to do audits, because if these agencies aren't doing compliance and verifications, how much incorrect information and garbage is on that database and, and people need to believe that that stuff is true and accurate. So kind of giving, giving our Department of Public Safety in each state the authorization to do audits of the information that they're putting into the system because they could be held liable too. They need to trust those local law enforcement. So I think that it's super important for again, family and crime victims to know that have undergone something like this to ask. You can ask, not, not request it, mandate it a protective order for life. If you are, even if the person's just getting a plea bargain and pled to a lesser charge or whatever, if they've committed a crime against you, especially a violent crime, you can request a lifetime protective order and mandated that the, the district attorney puts that in motion to be presented to the judge. The judge, you know, has the ultimate decision. But you can request that and make sure that the, the attorney does that for you. I, I am in a different part of my life, a different era of my life where I did have to learn that my voice can be powerful. And I was fortunate to learn from my family that we have a responsibility to not only ourselves, but to other people to create a better world than, you know, leave it better than how we found it. And I'm trying to leave it better than I found it for every, every victim out there that has, has gone through something like this, right? And I'm going to continue fighting until my last breath, as you should.
- [169:33]
A
And I think, I think too, something I've realized with talking to so many people is what happens to them becomes their purpose. And even though it is such a dark and traumatic experience that happened, we have a few options. You know, we let it destroy us, we sit in it, or we can let it empower us to help not only ourselves and give us the purpose, but be the voice for so many other people that may have experienced something similar or have experienced it and have felt like they don't have a voice. You become that Voice for them.
- [170:09]
B
Oh, absolutely.
- [170:10]
A
And that is so important because especially with this kind of thing, we. So many people know that it's either brushed under the rug. People have that shame and guilt and that embarrassment that they don't want to talk about it. It's scary. And so many other things. So I think the more people that normalize speaking out, the more change is enforced.
- [170:33]
B
Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
- [170:35]
A
Because I think it's something that the justice system knows that people. I think a lot of people kind of just not want to talk about it or it's a very uncomfortable topic. Especially, you know, it has to do with the most intimate parts of ourselves. So I think that they rely on that so that they don't have to deal with it.
- [170:56]
B
Absolutely, absolutely. And I hope my story resonates with someone and they feel empowered to be okay with talking about it and understand that the silence doesn't last forever. That, you know, eventually you. It's not just stuck inside of you. You can talk about it. And you. You don't have the responsibility of being too much for other people. This is a part of you, and the right people are going to listen to it. And the people that don't.
- [171:35]
A
I was gonna say no. And I think too, like we mentioned before, even just the emotions and the feelings that you went through and the PTSD and the life before and the life after, people that have gone through something similar, even if they can just hear it, hear your story and relate to that and know that they aren't isolated or alone. Because I do think it takes going through something, even if it is a different type of crime, but going through that and feeling like they have a life before, a life after, and they view the world differently. Hearing that perspective from somebody else that's gone through it, I think is another reason for people to feel like, okay, I'm not alone and I can keep going.
- [172:13]
B
Yeah.
- [172:13]
A
Because I'm not one in a million. This happens more often than we think.
- [172:18]
B
Yeah. I also look at too, if you think about it like even crimes that especially happen to women, not saying that this does. These kind kinds of crimes don't happen to men, but this is primarily women and children. That this happened to our voices. As far as even social media is taken away. You can't use the word rape. You can't use the word they will push it down. Yeah.
- [172:47]
A
Even if it's education, which is a.
- [172:50]
B
Matter because again, it's silencing.
- [172:53]
A
It's taboo subjects too. Subjects that make people uncomfortable. So nobody wants to hear about it. Oh, There's a collect group that do.
- [173:01]
B
But. And as. As a rape victim, when I hear someone on social media call it grape, I'm just like, sweet. My trauma is now a fruit.
- [173:09]
A
Right.
- [173:10]
B
Beautiful.
- [173:11]
A
It's very unfortunate. I think that I don't know what social media or media in general is trying to protect themselves. Right.
- [173:22]
B
Probably some men that might be. Also.
- [173:24]
A
There are. There are people that I think I. And I totally understand, like, even how in the beginning you said that this story could trigger people. There's definitely people that maybe those words trigger them. But I think spreading awareness is so, so important.
- [173:40]
B
Yeah. You know what is so funny? So remember I talked about going through very intensive therapy. I sat in with other rape victims and we would laugh about it.
- [173:51]
A
Yeah.
- [173:51]
B
Like, do they really think that a word is what triggers us?
- [173:55]
A
Right.
- [173:55]
B
It doesn't. That shit does not a word does not trigger us.
- [173:59]
A
Right.
- [174:00]
B
It's, you know, the heaviness of a story that might trigger us. It's our own brains that are what is triggering. It's. You know, I can't listen to heavy metal because not that I ever did. I was a Sheryl Crow girly.
- [174:15]
A
But back to that moment.
- [174:17]
B
Yeah. And immediately takes me back to the moment. Or the. The sound of heavy breathing, the sounds of boots going up and down the stairs, because that's the last thing I heard when he left was his boots going down the apartment stairs. Things like that is what's triggering. Words are not. And it takes away. When you change, you know, domestic violence into an acronym. You change rape into grape. And I understand it's nothing against the creators, because I know that. That it. What's cool is they're still trying to get past that.
- [174:53]
A
Yeah.
- [174:55]
B
Yeah. Which I 1000% respect. It's just the fact that the platforms allow words like that, even this content all the time.
- [175:06]
A
It'll get taken down or it'll be flagged. And I'm like, oh, so girls can be shaking their ass on tick tock and that gets left up. But an educational video of somebody sharing their experience is flagged and is deemed as sad Unfit.
- [175:23]
B
Yeah.
- [175:23]
A
Makes no sense to me.
- [175:24]
B
Makes no sense.
- [175:25]
A
But you did incredible.
- [175:27]
B
Thank you.
- [175:27]
A
You are so amazing at sharing your story and the events throughout and, you know, literally the. The whole progression before, during, after. I think, obviously what you're doing now is so important. Beyond important. It's incredible.
- [175:45]
B
And if I wish I could have shared more, like, hey, guys, we're doing a big class action suit.
- [175:50]
A
Well, I was gonna say, you know, like, please, any links any resources. Yeah, send them to me so that we can put them.
- [175:57]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [175:58]
A
And take your time with it. Yeah, but send it so that it can be in the description for people. Whether it's your personal stuff, resources, anything you're working on, anything you are able to share, please send it so that we can.