Podcast Title: We're All Insane
Episode: Alcohol Destroyed My Life
Release Date: March 10, 2025
Host: Devorah Roloff
Guest: Maddie

Introduction

In the emotionally charged episode "Alcohol Destroyed My Life," host Devorah Roloff sits down with Maddie, a courageous individual who bares her soul about her tumultuous journey with alcoholism. Starting her battle at the tender age of 14, Maddie's story is a raw and unfiltered account of addiction, its devastating consequences, and the arduous path to sobriety.

Early Beginnings and First Experiences with Alcohol

Maddie's relationship with alcohol began during her early teenage years. She recounts her initial exposure and the allure that led her down a destructive path.

• First Drinking Experience:
  "I started drinking whenever I was 14 years old... I woke up throwing up on the towel. And an upperclassman was helping me... I ended up dating him later on."
  (00:37)

• Family Influence:
  Maddie reveals that her father struggled with alcoholism, which influenced her own battles.
  "My dad had to drink non-alcoholic beer because he can't have the alcoholic beer. But later on, he started drinking regular beer."
  (04:13)

High School Years: Escalation and Consequences

Maddie's high school years marked a significant escalation in her drinking habits, leading to multiple consequences that would shape her future.

• Consequences of Early Drinking:
  "The next day, I was supposed to work as a lifeguard... My parents didn't punish me because my dad is an alcoholic as well."
  (04:13)

• First DWI Incident:
  "At 19, I got my first DWI... I was driving the wrong way on I30... and clipped another car."
  (08:35)
  Notable Quote:
  "I don't condone drunk driving. That's terrible."
  (28:09)

Struggles in the Service Industry

Transitioning to adulthood, Maddie entered the service industry, where the ubiquitous presence of alcohol further entrenched her addiction.

• Environment of Temptation:
  "With the service industry also comes the service industry people who all like to drink and smoke pot and do coke and get fucked up after work. And that's how we cope."
  (17:40)

• Second DWI and Legal Troubles:
  "I got my second DWI at 22... I blew a 0.32 BAC and was taken to the hospital."
  (42:37)

Personal Tragedies and Deepening Addiction

Maddie's addiction led to personal losses and further complicacies in her life, pushing her to the brink of despair.

• Loss of a Close Friend:
  "Ashlyn, my roommate and drinking buddy, passed away from pancreatitis linked to her alcoholism... It left her 2-month-old and 2-year-old behind."
  (53:15)
  Notable Quote:
  "I still miss her every day. She was the nicest person."
  (56:19)

• Hospitalization for Alcoholic Ketoacidosis:
  "I was diagnosed with alcoholic ketoacidosis... It took me three days to recover."
  (73:45)

Turning Point: Seeking Help

After years of battling addiction alone, Maddie reached a turning point that led her to seek professional help and regain control over her life.

• Intervention and Rehab:
  "Bonnie, my mentor, insisted I get treatment... I paid for my rehab and had the best time, meeting supportive people."
  (84:33)
  Notable Quote:
  "Please don't ever detox by yourself at home. It's so dangerous."
  (85:36)

• Sobriety and Personal Growth:
  "Since completing rehab, I've remained sober for over three years... I have a tattoo that says, 'To the girl I once was, I forgive you.'"
  (88:25)

Challenges in Recovery

Despite achieving sobriety, Maddie's journey was fraught with mental health challenges that tested her resilience.

• Mental Health Struggles:
  "I fell into depression and anxiety... Tried various treatments, including TMS, which initially helped but later caused mania."
  (89:13)

• Support Systems and Relapses:
  "Max, my husband, has been my rock... Together, we navigated through the toughest times, including hospitalizations."
  (76:04)

Current Life and Reflections

Today, Maddie stands as a testament to survival and recovery. She continues to work in the service industry but maintains her sobriety with unwavering determination.

• Maintaining Sobriety:
  "I love my job selling alcohol because it's so regulated... There's no way I can get away with drinking here."
  (94:38)
  Notable Quote:
  "You don't have to drink every day to be an alcoholic. Drinking a few times on the weekend is plenty enough."
  (115:25)

• Message to Listeners:
  "If you're struggling with addiction, know you're not alone. Seeking help is the first step towards reclaiming your life."
  (Final Segment)

Conclusion

Maddie's journey serves as a powerful narrative on the perils of addiction and the possibility of redemption. Her story underscores the importance of recognizing the signs of alcoholism, seeking support, and the profound impact personal relationships can have on one's path to recovery. Through her transparency and resilience, Maddie offers hope and inspiration to those grappling with similar struggles.

Notable Quotes

1. Initial Struggle:
   "I was very fortunate. I don't know why he took care of me... but I thank him."
   (01:30)

2. Reflection on Addiction:
   "I crave that feeling. I know that's what destroyed my life."
   (19:02)

3. Sobriety Commitment:
   "Every single day, I know I'm an alcoholic."
   (20:48)

4. Acknowledging Support:
   "Max took care of me in ways that no one else ever has."
   (73:46)

5. Encouragement to Others:
   "I tell this story so that others can learn, hopefully, from my mistakes and not make those."
   (27:00)

Key Takeaways

• Early Exposure: Alcohol addiction can begin in adolescence, often influenced by family dynamics and social environments.

• Consequences: Multiple DUIs, hospitalizations, and personal losses highlight the severe impact of alcoholism.

• Recovery is Possible: Seeking professional help, building a support system, and personal determination are crucial in overcoming addiction.

• Mental Health Matters: Co-occurring mental health issues can complicate the journey to sobriety and require comprehensive treatment.

• Support Systems: Positive relationships and mentors play a vital role in recovery and maintaining sobriety.

Maddie's story is a poignant reminder of the struggles many face silently and the strength it takes to overcome them. Her candidness encourages listeners to reflect on their own lives, seek help when needed, and understand that recovery, though challenging, is attainable.