We're All Insane — “Child Rape Victim of the YMCA”
Host: Devorah Roloff
Guest: Brian
Date: December 28, 2025

Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Brian—a 64-year-old survivor—shares his harrowing story of child sexual abuse perpetrated by a pedophile ring at a Long Island YMCA swimming program in the early 1970s. Brian’s account covers the trajectory from a happy, active childhood to trauma, betrayal, and ultimately, hard-fought justice and personal healing. The episode serves as both a personal reflection and a warning for parents and institutions, culminating in lessons about vigilance, accountability, and the lifelong ripple effects of childhood abuse.

Brian’s Early Life and Family Background

• [00:30 – 3:00] Brian describes a large, loving family—parents were high school sweethearts, father a New York City Fireman, family summers spent on the beach.
• [03:40 – 7:50] Happy, wholesome childhood memories: body surfing, summer routines, and the role of family and siblings.
  • “We grew up at those beaches… Every sunny day in the summertime, we would go to the beach. My dad would work, and we would just be free to do, you know, pretty much what we wanted.” [03:40]
  • The impact of losing a twin sister to SIDS shortly after birth.
• [06:36 – 8:15] Introduction to competitive swimming: joining AAU teams, family sacrifices, and yearning for belonging in the elite world of youth sports.

The Beginning of Abuse: Grooming at the YMCA

• [8:15 – 14:33]
  • Brian joins the Huntington YMCA swim team, attracted by the warmth and apparent encouragement of coach Bill Nolan.
  • Grooming process:
    • Special attention, emotional manipulation, overnight visits.
    • “He would whisper things in their ear before they swam. He would give them a hug, pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek, and I just wanted to… maybe become a part of that.” [07:50]
  • The first sleepover appears innocent; soon, boundaries are crossed under the guise of mentorship and affection.
  • “He started pouring out the adjectives…’You’re wonderful. I love you. You’re so handsome… You have an old soul’…I’m thinking, I’m nine, how can I have an old soul?” [12:18]
  • Emphasis on secret-keeping as part of grooming tactics.
    • “He would say, ‘This is our secret.’ Nothing happened. What—what’s our secret?... That was his process for grooming.” [14:32]

The Cycle of Abuse Expands

• [14:45 – 26:46]
  • Brian is sexually abused by Nolan in a series of increasingly severe incidents, often in hidden locations at the YMCA.
  • “He would take off his bathing suit… I was in awe. I was in amazement. Like, what is going on?...I mean, I was a little boy, still 10 years old…just think the worst. And that's what happened over and over for a long time.” [14:45]
  • Introduction of two other perpetrators:
    1. Wayne Lampe: Not an employee, but allowed unsupervised access to children.
    2. Chris O’Connell: Former victim of Nolan, who becomes an abuser himself.
  • Details of further grooming and abuse, including coercive trips (Elvis concert, camping) and the bystander effect among adults and peers.
  • “I remember being, you know, really uncomfortable…He was actually driving through my neighborhood at like 2 in the morning… They were very calm…They were very good at it. And we weren’t. We were just little kids, like, wondering, where is this going?” [20:23]

Silencing, Trauma, and Aftermath

• [26:46 – 38:32]
  • Brian internalizes the abuse, becoming withdrawn, unable to confide in anyone.
  • Describes the psychological confusion, PTSD, and personality changes—anger, withdrawal, acting out.
    • “I started to get, you know, change. My personality was changing. I was quiet. I was…exposed to a lot of trauma, and I was experiencing PTSD.” [26:52]
  • Other children present during abuse also remain silent, “in survival mode.”
  • YMCA covers up Nolan’s abuse after another child reports it:
    • Nolan is transferred with letters of recommendation—never reported to police.
    • “The YMCA sanctioned his move…They paid for his move. They gave him a positive recommendation so he could get the job… No police, no nothing.” [36:08]

Struggling Through Adolescence

• [38:32 – 54:00]
  • Behavioral changes: fighting, shoplifting, associating with other traumatized kids.
  • Parental discipline: Brian’s father intervenes—forces him into sports, which eventually provides “structure and a lifeline.”
  • Football becomes both escape and recovery, helping Brian compartmentalize pain.
    • “I was able to…jam it into a little tiny box and put it in the back of my brain and keep it closed. No one will ever know. This is my secret, and this will never come out.” [47:00]
  • Eventually attends college, plays football, and embarks on a series of careers—teaching, flight attendant, fireman, pilot, all ways to “stay ahead” of the trauma.

Adult Life: Seeking Normalcy and Moving Forward

• [54:13 – 68:59]
  • Brian finds stability in marriage. Shares story of meeting his future wife, Belinda (“Twig”), and credits her as a crucial reason he survived psychologically.
    • “She’s what has kept me out of the insane asylum for my whole life…So lucky.” [65:32]
  • Becomes a Navy pilot, American Airlines pilot; raises three children in a loving, high-functioning household.

The Reckoning: Reopening the Wound & Pursuing Justice

• [69:00 – 91:14]
  • Decades later, a Facebook post from the Huntington YMCA reopens old wounds, as do high-profile abuse scandals (Sandusky, Nassar, Catholic Church).
  • Brian connects with “David”, another victim; together, they explore legal action.
  • Insights into different trauma responses: Brian was “a runner,” avoiding the past; David’s life was derailed by addiction, but he eventually found stability with therapy.
    • “He fell apart. His life was a nightmare previously. He was in a good place now, but he had been a drug addict, he had been an alcoholic, he had been addicted to…strippers and hookers and sex…” [74:48]

Notable Analogy

• [79:02]: Brian uses the story of the Iwo Jima flag-raisers to illustrate people’s different ways of coping with trauma: one compartmentalizes and thrives, another is destroyed.

Legal Action and Confronting the Abusers

• [91:14 – 111:02]
  • Collaboration with a lawyer leads to meetings with the YMCA board.
  • The passing of the New York Child Victims Act, with unlimited civil “look back,” creates a sudden, limited legal opportunity for justice.
  • Brian travels to confront his abuser, Bill Nolan, in person (recorded confessions):
    • “He just talked and talked and talked…he felt what he was doing was righteous…” [97:24]
  • Confirms over 60+ victims, admits to decades of predation.
  • Repeat trips with David to confront both Nolan and Lampe—extracting on-tape confessions and apologies.
    • “And I said, yeah, that's me. And then he realized… and he kind of…said to me, I'm sorry. He just like a very low, I'm sorry.” [100:56]
  • This evidence is crucial:
    • “We had hours and hours of tape, confession, probably close to 20 hours.” [109:04]

Mediation, Closure, and Advocacy

• [111:02 – 114:17]
  • Mediation, backed by tape-recorded confessions, leads to:
    • Official apology from the YMCA
    • Significant, confidential compensation
    • Most importantly, acknowledgment of wrongs
  • “We wanted an apology, we wanted acknowledgment, and we wanted compensation. And we got all of it.” [113:42]

Brian’s Reflections and Final Message

• [114:17 – 122:39]
  • Brian reads his statement—urging parents to be vigilant, institutions to prioritize children over reputation, and survivors to pursue their own justice.
  • “Just because an institution is wholesome and good and has a reputation for that, that doesn’t mean that the people inside that institution are wholesome and good natured and good intentioned. And you have to be aware of that…Why do pedophiles flock to institutions where there are children? Because that’s where the children are.” [114:32], [115:06]
  • Laments the lack of therapy, counseling, or follow-up after decades of pervasive abuse:
    • “The YMCA never lifted a finger to offer therapy or counseling or even comfort in any way to the dozens and dozens of children who were preyed upon by their own employees for many years. They just…hung us out to dry.” [118:32]

Call to Action: For Parents and Society

• [121:56 – 126:08]
  • Brian and Devorah agree: Social awareness, vigilance, and hard questions are necessary.
    • “Be aware, ask questions, and by all means, hold the criminals accountable…Just because an organization…uses buzzwords like honesty, respect, caring, or responsibility, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t predators hiding in plain sight.” [121:56]
  • Parents should “trust but verify”—even at highly regarded institutions.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “If you find something, don’t stop. Don’t stop. Go ‘til…you get what you came for. And there’s going to be plenty of people that are going to try to make you stop… but, you know, get the outcome that you need for your own health and the health of your family.” [116:10]
• On accountability:
  • “While hiding behind a facade of purity, caring, and wholesomeness, the Huntington YMCA did more to help William Nolan escape… than they did for any of us.” [120:40]

Key Timestamps for Major Points

• 00:30 – Brian’s childhood and family background
• 08:15 – Introduction to the Huntington YMCA and beginning of Nolan’s grooming
• 14:45 – Sexual abuse begins
• 20:21 – Introduction of additional abusers
• 36:08 – YMCA covers up abuse; Nolan transferred
• 47:00 – Brian’s strategy for survival: repression and football
• 74:44 – Brian meets fellow survivor David, starts legal process
• 97:24 – Confronting Nolan, extracting confessions
• 111:02 – Mediation and legal victory (apology, compensation, closure)
• 114:17 – Final statement, advice to parents and institutions

Tone and Language Notes

Brian recounts his story with a mixture of candor, raw emotion, and hard-earned clarity, often reflecting on his confusion as a child and the long arc toward healing and justice. The episode’s tone is at times somber and graphic, but also empowering, especially as Brian describes reclaiming agency and holding abusers accountable. Host Devorah provides a compassionate, validating presence, inviting listeners to absorb lessons vital for protection and prevention.

Summary Takeaway

This episode is a searing firsthand account of institutional child abuse, resilience, and advocacy. Brian’s story is not only about the pursuit of justice for wrongs never properly addressed, but also a call for vigilance and unflinching dialogue—a demand to protect children over reputations, in every setting.