We're All Insane – Podcast Summary

Episode: From Med Student to Porn Star
Host: Devorah Roloff
Guest: Joey Gray
Date: September 8, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Devorah Roloff sits down with Joey Gray, an adult film performer signed with OC Modeling, as he candidly unpacks his unconventional journey from a quiet, academically driven med student and nurse to becoming a porn star. Joey discusses navigating identity, entering the adult industry, overcoming self-doubt, and the realities (and stigmas) of modern porn. The conversation is raw, personal, and brutally honest, offering insights rarely heard from within the industry.

Early Life & Academic Path

[00:01 – 04:29] Childhood and Career Hopes

• Joey grew up in Connecticut and then upstate New York, describing his childhood as “typical” with a strong focus on gaming and few social exploits.
• Initially aspired to be a mathematician in high school, despite claiming to not enjoy math:

  “It was crazy. And I never cared for math. But I just remember in high school, towards the end, I was like, oh, I really want to do this.” (Joey, 02:42)

• Majored in mathematics in college, later switching to biology.
• Wasn’t active in dating or partying and focused primarily on studies and hobbies ("Just quiet… did a lot of nerdy things," 03:32).

[04:29 – 07:08] Journey into Medicine and Nursing

• After college, Joey was uncertain about his future:

  “I didn’t know what to do. So this is where the adult industry actually came in first thing.” (Joey, 04:38)

• Attempts medical school but doesn’t finish and pivots to a master’s in nursing, later becoming a nurse practitioner during the pandemic, although he never felt fulfillment in the role:

  “I didn’t like it at all. I became a nurse practitioner...I just got denied by hospitals...I honestly do not like being a nurse in general." (Joey, 07:11 & 08:33)

First Contact with the Adult Industry

[05:00 – 07:02] Flirtation with Porn via Craigslist

• While searching Craigslist for regular jobs, Joey stumbles upon an ad for an adult film actor, almost accepts (flight tickets were sent), but ultimately backs out due to uncertainty.

[09:30 – 12:22] Nursing, Burnout, and Edgy Curiosity

• Real disillusionment with healthcare sets in while doing clinicals in New Jersey.
• A coworker mentions Skip the Games (an adult services site); Joey books a dominatrix for an unconventional non-BDSM encounter:

  “I was so bored. I just remember I was playing Halo Infinite and...I met up with a freaking dominatrix” (Joey, 12:02)

• The meeting was nerve-wracking but mostly tame (handcuffs and a blindfold, nothing more).

[14:23 – 17:19] Thresholds: FetLife & First Group Experience

• Encouraged by the dominatrix, he joins FetLife (a kink social platform) and responds to an ad for a gangbang—his first group sexual encounter.
• Despite initial discomfort, he soon enjoys and participates in more events:

  “I felt uncomfortable, but I enjoyed it because she actually could sense that I was really anxious." (Joey, 16:55)

Stepping into the Industry

[18:40 – 21:31] Building Connections

• Regularly attends group events, befriends an amateur porn producer, attends Exotica (an industry convention), and begins networking with performers and producers.

[28:20 – 32:19] First Shoots & Learning Behind the Camera

• First solo shoot at AVN (the "Oscars of porn" in Las Vegas) is “all right.” Admits to not being a big porn watcher himself.
• Learns production and technical skills working behind the camera. Gains creative satisfaction:

  “I did enjoy filming it, because I was like, how can I make this look really good? How can I make everyone look as good as they possibly can?” (Joey, 33:12 & 33:18)

Navigating Challenges as a New Performer

[34:06 – 41:54] Nerves, Viagra, and On-Set Realities

• First time being filmed as a performer, he feels extreme nervousness, which even 100mg of Viagra can’t fix until much later:

  "When you're so nervous, so you were so nervous your first time that you couldn't get hard. So you take 100 milligrams of Viagra... it ended up working like six hours freaking later." (36:19 - 39:10)

• Reflects on improving with each shoot:

  “I just kept improving, and I was just learning my body… I’m still learning…” (Joey, 42:00)

[42:00 – 46:43] Going Public & Pseudonym

• Spends about a year deliberating before entering the industry, aware of risks:

  “Once you’re out, you’re out on the Internet. Yeah, that’s it. You have to see, ‘Is this what I really want to do?’” (Joey, 42:00)

• Chooses "Joey Gray" as his stage name, combining his middle name and a nod to Sasha Gray, a famous performer.

[46:43 – 54:18] Building a Platform & More Setbacks

• Details route to producing amateur content and navigating platforms (ManyVids, OnlyFans, LoyalFans).
• Describes technical and emotional challenges, e.g., difficulties performing in group scenes or when conditions aren’t ideal.
• Performs with other male talent for the first time and faces serious discomfort due to his partner's poor hygiene:

  "So, again, like. Again, I really dislike this guy. I think he's absolutely awful again… So, yeah, the scene was like. It was. It was. It was bad.” (Joey, 76:17)

Life as a Performer: The Personal & Practical

[56:10 – 62:19] Industry Standards, Health, and Routine

• Discusses professional hygiene (testing required every 2 weeks, rectal swabs, health checks).
• Always remains focused on professionalism even when scenes are physically or mentally uncomfortable:

  “Pretty much just remain professional. Yeah, you have to remain professional.” (Joey, 56:21)

• Notes that agency representation opens doors to professional sets, though things start "slow" and building a following takes time.

[63:18 – 69:14] Physical Demands, Mental Game & Routine

• Performing requires stamina, self-awareness, and an ability to manage nerves:

  “If you think about [staying hard] constantly, well, you’re not going to remain hard.” (Joey, 63:54)

• Details personal health regimen: shaves everything below eyebrows, follows a strict (but lately loosened) diet, values leanness for camera.

[70:00 – 71:22] Relationships, Sacrifices, and Mindset

• Candid about the difficulty of relationships for performers:

  “You’re sacrificing a fragment of your soul here… The chances of you having a traditional relationship, it’s very low. I really stand by that.” (Joey, 70:10)

• No desire for relationships currently, keeps it professional on sets.

[80:06 – 85:59] Breaking with Toxic Mentorship

• Describes parting ways with the mentor who introduced him to the industry due to drama and poor decision-making:

  "That's when I broke away with him… I had to get away. And I knew to move farther in this industry, I had to go to Florida. I can’t stay in New Jersey." (Joey, 83:40)

Finding Agency & Professional Stability

[86:02 – 92:04] Signing with OC Modeling, Professional Goals

• Finds his current agency after vetting for honesty and talent. “I've always...wanted to be on big sets.”
• Agency books him for pro shoots; he continues to develop his brand across platforms and social media.
• Admits to body dysmorphia, but pushes through in order to succeed:

  “I have body dysmorphia. So, like, I...was always conscious, self-conscious about photos of myself, but I'm taking, like, nude photos of myself, and, you know, I send it to him and he submits it.” (Joey, 84:19)

On Set: Experiences, Challenges, and Pro Tips

[93:09 – 103:50] Set Dynamics, Chemistry, & Tips

• Performing is part-acting, part-improv, but attitude and professionalism are key.
• Navigating communication and personal boundaries on set; establishing rapport with repeat co-stars helps.
• Shares practical advice for new performers:

  “Make sure this is what you want to do...High risk, high reward here...Once you’re out there, you’re out there…” (Joey, 104:04)

• On Viagra: “I would start with the lowest possible dosage of it. I don’t recommend...honestly, I don't recommend it.” (Joey, 104:04)

Industry Realities: Money, Stigma, and Self-Awareness

[106:44 – 113:36] Income, Social Stigma, and Boundaries

• Income as a nurse is far more stable; building a porn career takes considerable time and side hustles in the beginning.
• Social stigma is present—employers and family don't know, and he is not ready to tell them yet.
• Uses “modeling” or “content creator” as cover for civilian interactions.
• Drama and relationships (even stalkers) are a hazard; Joey remains focused on his work, echoing his mentor’s advice:

  "Do your job and go home." (Joey, 113:36)

Hygiene, On-Set Surprises, and the Human Side

[124:50 – 132:13] Realities of Porn Sets

• Admissions about personal hygiene, scenes involving menstruation, and awkward requests (feet content).
• Admits to sometimes having to "act" enjoyment for certain kinks.
• Reiterates how crucial cleanliness, professionalism, and adaptability are:

  “You have to remain professional. I’ve seen people who don't shower...if you ever had to eat somebody out and it really stunk or tasted bad...just keep it professional." (130:36/132:13)

Closing Thoughts & Key Advice

• Joey candidly admits he's still early in his career, focused on learning and growth.
• Remains grounded and realistic about both the potential and the sacrifices:

  “You’re sacrificing a fragment of your soul here...It’s really high risk, high reward here…Make sure this is what you want to do.” (70:10/104:04)

• Continues to chase his original goal of becoming a top male performer and building a sustainable career, while maintaining his integrity and personal boundaries:

  “I will get there. I just keep getting better and I just keep improving my body, my mind, and I’m going to go the distance.” (126:51)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On being new to the industry:
  “If you could think of, like, Mr. Burns from the Simpsons, this guy looked like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. Yeah, so. So if you can get through that, you can do anything in this line of work.” (40:42)
• On social stigma:
  “You have to come to grips with reality that the choice is out. Out there. I’m out there. And again, I’ve seen a lot of people want it, like, it's too late.” (120:03)
• On friends and acceptance:
  “Honestly, they were very accepting of it because they had another friend that apparently was in the industry.” (67:52)

Notable Timestamps

• 14:23 – Joey uses FetLife, attends first gangbang
• 21:01 – AVN Convention in Vegas ("Oscars of Porn")
• 36:14 – First shoot nerves, using Viagra unsuccessfully
• 56:10 – Hygiene, professional standards, and testing procedures
• 70:13 – Reflections on relationship difficulties in the industry
• 83:40 – Moving to Florida, breaking from toxic mentorship
• 104:04 – Advice to new performers: be certain, start slow, have a backup
• 126:51 – Joey’s self-motivation: "I will get there..."

Final Takeaways

Joey Gray’s route from healthcare to adult entertainment is shaped by introspection, risk-taking, setbacks, and persistence. He remains pragmatic about fame, risk, and the value of authenticity, both in performance and personal life. For curious listeners or those considering a similar path, his story is a testament to the reality that behind every performer is a human being with their own journey, doubts, and hopes.