Podcast Summary: "Husbands Psychosis Led to Suicide"

Podcast Information:

• Title: We're All Insane
• Host/Author: Devorah Roloff
• Episode: Husbands Psychosis Led to Suicide
• Release Date: April 14, 2025
• Description: A podcast where real people share raw, unfiltered stories about their lives, challenges, and traumas that have shaped them. Each episode offers a deep dive into the unique journey of the guest—No scripts. No interruptions. Just authentic storytelling that unfolds naturally, in the guest's own words.

1. Introduction

In the poignant episode titled "Husbands Psychosis Led to Suicide," Frances shares her deeply personal journey of love, mental health struggles, and loss. The conversation delves into the complexities of her relationship with her late husband, Pat, who battled mental illness leading to his tragic suicide. Throughout the episode, Frances navigates the challenges of coping with grief, dealing with unsupportive family members, and finding her path to healing.

2. Meeting Pat and Building Their Relationship

Frances recounts how she met Pat during a high school event where he was performing with his band. Their initial interaction was sparked by a shared interest in music and became the foundation of their relationship.

Frances [02:30]: "We met during a high school writer's week event. I was setting up microphones, and Pat handed me his battery pack for his saxophone. This small interaction blossomed into a deep friendship and eventually a loving marriage."

Over time, Frances describes how their bond strengthened through shared experiences, such as moving into their first home together in Wisconsin and enjoying motorcycle rides.

Frances [04:50]: "Pat and I took our time finding each other. I helped him move into his first house, and those moments solidified our commitment. Our first kiss on New Year's Eve 2019 was a memorable start to our married life."

3. Pat’s Mental Health Struggles and Frances’ Support

Pat had a history of mental health issues, including bipolar disorder, which Frances becomes more aware of as their relationship progresses. She emphasizes the importance of mutual support in their marriage, especially as Pat navigated his mental health challenges.

Frances [10:15]: "Pat was always dealing with mood swings and had been on various medications since he was young. I became his support system, encouraging him to seek psychiatric help when needed."

Despite their strong bond, Frances notes moments when Pat's mental state became increasingly unstable, particularly during the pressures of maintaining his music career.

Frances [17:45]: "As the band grew, so did the pressure on Pat. He started altering his medication dosages and becoming more withdrawn. It was a tough time as we tried to balance his career ambitions with his mental health needs."

4. The Critical Events Leading to Pat's Suicide

Frances details the escalating signs of Pat’s deteriorating mental health, culminating in a distressing incident where Pat exhibited manic behavior, leading to his eventual suicide.

Frances [24:44]: "One day, Pat was acting extremely manic. He was throwing my belongings out, wearing strange glasses, and even threatened me with a gun. It was the first time I saw him like that, and I realized something was terribly wrong."

In a heart-wrenching moment, Frances describes how she attempted to calm Pat, only to witness him cruise away on his motorcycle, leading to his tragic end.

Frances [31:04]: "After convincing him to seek help, Pat ended up leaving the hospital and tragically took his own life. The aftermath was a blur of grief, confusion, and unanswered questions."

5. Aftermath and Coping with Loss

Following Pat's suicide, Frances grapples with intense grief and the complexities of her relationship with his family, who were unsupportive and dismissive of her.

Frances [50:07]: "Losing Pat has been the hardest thing I've ever faced. The lack of support from his family added to my trauma, making it difficult to navigate my own grief."

She highlights the importance of community and personal support systems in her healing process, finding solace in friends, her family, and online communities.

Frances [112:59]: "I found comfort in Reddit's widowers page and leaned heavily on my friends and family. Their support was crucial in helping me move forward."

6. Interactions with Pat’s Family

Frances expresses her frustration and disappointment with Pat’s family, who seemed more concerned with appearances and possessions rather than offering genuine support.

Frances [66:25]: "Pat's family never accepted me as part of theirs. They disregarded my presence and were more focused on their own needs, which made the grieving process even more isolating."

Their interactions were marked by misunderstandings and a lack of empathy, leaving Frances feeling alienated during her time of need.

Frances [130:05]: "His family never reached out to ask how I was doing. It felt like they only wanted contact when bad things happened, which was incredibly hurtful."

7. Moving Forward and Recovery

Despite the overwhelming grief, Frances emphasizes her resilience and the steps she's taken towards healing. She discusses her efforts to reclaim her life, including moving out, changing her last name, and entering new relationships.

Frances [129:59]: "Moving forward has been a journey of self-discovery. Changing my last name and finding a new apartment has helped me establish my own identity apart from Pat."

Frances also recognizes the importance of professional help and plans to continue therapy to further her recovery.

Frances [50:35]: "Therapy has been instrumental in my healing process. It's taught me to prioritize my own well-being and set boundaries with Pat's family."

8. Conclusion

In conclusion, Frances's story is a testament to the profound impact of mental health struggles on relationships and the lasting effects of loss. Her journey underscores the necessity of supportive communities and the courage it takes to rebuild one's life after such a tragedy.

Frances [132:31]: "Healing isn't linear, but with the support of friends, family, and professionals, I've found a way to move forward. Sharing my story here is part of that healing process."

Frances's narrative offers invaluable insights into coping with mental illness and suicide, highlighting both the personal and relational challenges that accompany such profound loss.

Notable Quotes:

• Frances [04:50]: "Pat and I took our time finding each other. I helped him move into his first house, and those moments solidified our commitment."

• Frances [24:44]: "One day, Pat was acting extremely manic... I realized something was terribly wrong."

• Frances [31:04]: "After convincing him to seek help, Pat ended up leaving the hospital and tragically took his own life."

• Frances [66:25]: "Pat's family never accepted me as part of theirs. They disregarded my presence and were more focused on their own needs."

• Frances [132:31]: "Healing isn't linear, but with the support of friends, family, and professionals, I've found a way to move forward."

This episode offers a raw and unfiltered look into the devastating effects of untreated mental illness and the ripple effects it has on loved ones. Frances's story serves as both a cautionary tale and a beacon of hope for those navigating similar tragedies.