Dinah Schaefer (35:28)
Yeah, my mom's something else. I just love her. So. Okay. Yeah. So finally I was able to get off the phone with her, and I think that's when she started calling, like, the rest of our family and close friends and stuff, like, back home. And I think that's when they all started, like, come over to our house to comfort the rest of my family who was at home. Okay. So then, yeah, once the ambulance got there, they were, like, more concerned about my dad and I. And the heat is hot, so I, like, took off a lot of my gear, and they were, like, making us sit on, like, the bumper in the shade or whatever, like, bumper of the ambulance in the shade. And I was just, like, staring out once again. It was still so beautiful, but just Staring out and just, like. I don't know. Obviously, all you do is think about what isn't gonna happen now. And G and I had all these dreams and visions for our future, like, together. Like, a lot of our plans involved each other. And so I just remember, like, staring out at the view, and I was just. One of our biggest dreams was to own, like, some cafes together where we hire people with and without special needs, because that's just. We're very passionate about stuff like that. And like I mentioned before, Gina was. She was a chef. So that was just, like, one of our biggest hopes and dreams. And so I just remember, like, thinking about that, and it was just running through my brain. I was like, now what now? Like, that's not possible. Um, and so my dad. I think this is when he started figuring or was, like, trying to figure out our way, our fastest way to get home. And so we were, like, in silence. And I just could not let my brain be racing with, like, those thoughts anymore. So I then called someone that I was super close with, but not, like, Gina, because I didn't really feel like calling our close, close friends yet. I just obviously wasn't in, like, the mindset. Yeah. To talk to that. To talk to them yet. But I was able to call this person. And we just talked for a little bit. And I remember I, like, walked, like, 20ft away from the ambulance just so I wasn't right next to my dad. And I just called them and just explained it. And just, like, the amount of shock I was in, I just remember, like, I didn't cry. I didn't cry for, like, a long. The first few hours, because my. Once again, I just felt, like, so, like, out of body and, like, this isn't real. Like, I always. I mean, in the beginning, it's hard, but now I'm always like, it's real. And don't let yourself trick yourself into thinking it's not real or that it's going to change, because it's not going to. But, yeah, I was just, like, sitting in, you know, the heaviness of it all and just talking to them and just kind of explained what happened. And then eventually it was just like, hey, goodbye. So I hung up and then went back to my dad. I think this is when the heat was starting to get, like, too much for me. So the emt. Is that what you. Yeah, the ambulance workers were like, hey, come sit in the ambulance, because they didn't use it for Gina. So my dad and I went into the ambulance so we could Just be like in the AC and stuff. My older sister Lucy is a pilot and that's what she's going to school for right now. And then my dad has its, has his private pilot's license and then my uncle also has his license along with like some of my other family members. So we have like a few small planes within our family and so that's how we wanted to get home was on one of our planes. So my dad started calling his brother my uncle and was just saying he like hey, are you free right now to come get us? Explaining the whole situation and thankfully he was able to drop everything and come fly out, which I'm so grateful for. At the beginning. I already kind of have like flying anxiety a little bit, but especially in like our small planes because the turbulence can be like really extra. So I'm like when my dad first was like we're gonna fly home, I was like, but now thinking back, I don't think I would have been able to stand an eight hour car ride. Especially like on the road was the plan ride. Three hours, two, two, three hours. Um, so still kind of long but. And then thank like because we're in the air, I don't have the anxiety of being on the road like passing all these cars. So that was good. Looking back. So yes, my dad was trying to make those plans and I just was like staring at the ambulance once again just like in silence. My thoughts were just going and going and then all of a sudden this lady came into the ambulance. I was like, who is this? Um, but basically it was there was a small little First Baptist church into the, in the town that we were going to eat lunch at. And so that was the pastor's wife of that church there. And so she came into the ambulance and just said I am blah blah blah. I'm not gonna say her name, just cuz I don't know if she wants me to but just explained who she was and then just said I'm here to talk if you want to, but otherwise I'm just here for comfort. And I think for like the first minute or so I didn't say anything. I probably nodded my head and smiled when like acknowledged her. Obviously I'm not that disrespectful. Um, but obviously there's so much in my brain so I just wasn't in the mood to really converse. But that didn't last long. And if you know me, I'm a talker. So I eventually just started asking questions like about herself and about her life and I learned all of these things about all of her kids and whatever, and she was just such a calming person. I'm so grateful for her. Don't worry, I've told her. But yeah, we barely said anything about Gina or the accident. We just chatted about life. I mean, I think I talked a little bit about me, but not like about what just happened. Yeah. So I. I can't really recall time, but we were talking for a little bit and then a cop came into the ambulance and needed to like, interview my dad and I just for details. And at this point, like, we didn't really know if it was a crime scene or not. I didn't think it was based off of what I saw. Once again, I didn't see anything before, but I did see like, the actual collision. So I was just able to kind of like, recall everything that I experienced. We had to like, kind of walk him through the night before and just like, I don't know, just kind of tell them about Gina, if that makes sense. I don't. Yeah, they just have to. And I want to clarify this for everybody. It was not the semi driver's fault. We don't know what caused Gina to collide. We don't know if it was like the air change, like going around the curve. And then with the semi, you know how it kind of can, like, change and you know, like, you're going around and it's like, woo, you kind of get pulled closer. We don't know if that happened. We don't know if something caused her to like, lose balance or pop tire. We don't know because her bike was in pieces. So we don't really know what it was. And to me, I. I don't care to ever know what really caused the accident because it all has the same outcome. And so I don't need that, like, reassurance of what really happened because like I said, it all, it all ends the same way. So. But it was not the summer driver's fault. And we pray for him and his family very often because we can only imagine what it's like to experience something like that, even if it's not your fault. That's so, so, so traumatic. And I remember we were like, talking to the cop and I asked a few times because I could see the tanker truck, but I couldn't. Like, I didn't know which one was him because there was still so many people, like, around. But I was like, I want to, like, hug him and just like, tell him that we're not mad and we'll never have any, like, ill feelings towards him, like me or my family. Just. That's just not like, the type of people we are. And obviously during the situation that that's not able to happen. I wasn't able to, like, go up and talk to him. So I hope in the near future I am able to do that. His wife did reach out to us once I started the foundation of Gina and stuff. So it was good to, like, hear from her and to just tell, like, we are. We are just praying for you guys and, like, for her too, because she has to live with this person who experienced something super traumatic. I already said I'm hoping to be able to meet him one day and just. Just reassure him that we. And we know it was nothing that he could have. Like, he couldn't have done anything about it. So once we finished the interview, we still had a little bit more time before, like, the corner was coming to, like, get Gina's body and whatever. So we just continued to sit in the ambulance, and I continued to talk to the pastor's wife. Once again, just kind of more about her life than mine. But it was just helping me keep my mind off of things. And my dad was still trying to figure out plans with my uncle trying to fly in and to come get us. Eventually, the corner got there, and I was not about to leave that scene without, like, praying over her body one more time. Like, I knew her soul wasn't there anymore, but, like, it was still her physical body. And she was just obviously so precious to me. So I was like, I can't. Can't leave here without praying over her, just, like, giving her one last kiss. So we. This wasn't the cop who, like, interviewed us. It was the cop that got there first, I think. And once again, we're in a rural town, so he was kind of like this, like, country, like, I don't know, like, cowboy. Honestly, like, this cop. And he was an older guy and definitely not the best experience with him, obviously, once again. And, you know, no one really knew the situation, if it was a crime scene or just, like, how. I mean, what it. What it really was. And so obviously I get, like, you know, us going, like, more around her body. That can be, you know, it can kind of alter, like, some evidence. But I was just like, can we please just pray over her? I just need to do that for closure. And, yeah, he was, like, arguing with us at first. He's like, no, you're not able to do that. But I was not about to leave without doing it. So I just asked again, respectfully. Obviously, he was just trying to, like, do his job, and I understand that. But there was a point where I got so frustrated because I was just like, this is my twin sister. This is, like, the last time I'm gonna be able to see her body, like, in this way. Um, and so, like, I yelled at him, and because he was just, like, getting so fierce with me, honestly. And I was just like, I just need to pray over her. So eventually, I calmed down, he calmed down, and I was able to just. We were able to go pray with her. Yeah, I did think that was a little inappropriate because obviously we are family. But once again, I do understand that. No. Really understood the situation. But, yes, I am very thankful that my dad and I were able to go pray over her one last time. Yeah, I think my dad said the prayer. I can't remember who was able to function and talk at the time or pretend they're functioning at that time. And then, yeah, I just kissed her one more time on the head. And I think I just said, love you, Hope. Heaven is more than. More than you could ever imagine. Yeah. So we prayed, and then once we were able to leave the scene, I was able to grab, like. Grab, like, all of my gear, some of her gear that we were able to take. And then there was also one of her earrings, one of her bracelets, and then a ponytail that was just, like, on the road. They just flew off during the collision. And so thankfully, the nice cop let me pick it up and take it with me, which I'm very grateful for, because those things are very meaningful to me now, obviously. Yes, I picked them up. I put the bracelet and the ponytail on my wrists and then grabbed all my gear. And the stuff that just, like, made sense that we need to bring home in that. In that moment. Because my dad also arranged someone he knew to come get, like, all of our bikes and stuff and, like, the rest of, like, our heavy gear. So we just really took what we needed to get home, like, our personal stuff. So, like I said, my dad was looking at, like, the nearest airports, and there was one, like, right into the town that we were going to. But when he was looking on his, like, flight. Flight app, it was saying that it was, like, had been closed, like, the last three days. Days. And sometimes that just means they're doing, like, small renovations on the Runway or just something little and where you really can fly in. They just don't want, like, a whole bunch of people flying in. So they just say it's closed. Um, so the pastor's wife offered to drive us up to the airport and then to stay at their church until our uncle actually landed. Um, so we were on our way up and I say up because the hill was like, I mean the town was located like on this huge hill. Um, but the airport was like at the way top of the hill. The mountain, I don't know what you want to call it. But we were on our way up there and she was obviously driving and like even in that two minute drive, I was so anxious. Just like being on the road, we barely passed anyone, but I was just like. So, yeah, once again, very grateful looking back, that we did end up flying and not driving. Very grateful for that opportunity too, to be able to do that. But we finally got up to the airport and my dad just kind of got out and I think it's like, obviously they're all like fenced and gate off. Gated off. But I think he was able to go through like this gate and he just saw it was either like just painted or they put something on the top, I don't know, to make sure it doesn't like crack or something. I don't really know. I probably should have asked him, but something. But I think it was like fine. Like he was like, no, you can land on this. But like he understood why it was still close to like the public. So I think he was trying to call people but like, like at the airport, but no one was answering because it was closed. And so he was like, hey, whatever, we'll figure it out. Or there was actually an airport that was like 15, 20 minutes away in a different town, which isn't that big a deal, but like, like when you're in that situation, you just want to get home as fast as you can. And so, so my dad was like starting to call around and like check out other airports, like near. But once again we're still trying to make that airport be the one that he could land at. We just didn't know if it was going to be possible. And so we were on our way back down, down the hill and trying to get to the church just so we could hang out there for the next few hours. And we got stopped by this town worker and he had already like heard our story and our situation. And he obviously, because he's a town worker, he knew that the airport was. And he knew that we wanted someone to come and fly and get us. And he just said, we're gonna open the airport and you can come and he can land there. And I, I felt like so relieved. Cause once again, obviously like the nearest airport wasn't that far, but it just felt so far because I was just trying to get home. So I was so grateful for that. My dad was so grateful. And then we just went back down to the church and we had about like three hours of waiting time until my, my uncle got there because it's about like a three hour flight. So he obviously had to fly from Minnesota to Wyoming. And I just spent that time. I think in the beginning I was like sitting on like the church pews, just like trying to sleep, just trying to like close my eyes and rest. But obviously my mind is just racing so much. So I was calling my mom a lot, calling my sister a lot. And then my sister and I were trying to make sure that like all of our really, really close friends heard from one of us because I think it was like just a few hours after it happened and the school found out like our hometown school, they already sent out like an email to everybody. And so we were like, we just want like our close people to hear from us and versus like an email or from you know, a friend of a friend of a friend. So my sister and I, Lucy, we're just trying to figure out like who was going to call who until the news. But yeah, I was just, just trying to rest, close my eyes. Just trying to make my brain from soften from pacing and from reliving the, the moment of the actual accident. One of the times I was using the bathroom in the church also I just want to say the pastor's wife, she like an actual angel. She was following me around like everywhere. The church wasn't very small but like when I would go to the bathroom it was like located in the back of the church and she always was like walking with me back there and just like always waiting for me. Or when I was calling mom, she was always right next to me. Um, which I was very grateful for cuz it just, it just like gave me a sense of like peace and like, yeah, she's not my mom, but she was giving me like that mom figure that I needed in that moment. So very grateful for her. But yeah, like I was just saying about like an hour or two after we were just like sitting at the church just trying to. The time felt like it was like I felt like I was at the church for like 50 hours. It was insane. But I was going to the bathroom and I was done, I washed, I was washing my hands, I was Looking down, and I noticed the bracelet that I grabbed from the accent. Gina's bracelet, which she made at the church camp a week prior. And it was green and blue, which is her favorite colors. And then it had, like, a Jesus fish charm on it. And, like, I've seen her wearing it before, like, that whole past week and whatever. And I literally watched myself put it on my wrist, like, two hours prior. But I looked down in that moment, and I looked down at the bracelet, and I just physically felt this, like, piece wash, like, from my head to my feet. It was. It was crazy. And I just remember, like, looking up at myself in the mirror and just smiling, and I was like, how am I able to. To smile in this moment? But then. So after I felt that peace, I heard Gina's voice say to me, like, you are going to be okay. Um, and, yeah, like, I just said, the fact that I was able to smile after experiencing what I just experienced and still, like, just in, like, such that heavy grief and, like, shock, it just made me, like, so confident in. In Jesus and in my faith. Like, and I just knew how much truth that statement held that she said, like, you're going to be okay. Yeah, I don't really, like, hear God talking to me that much or whatever. Like, I don't really always hear voices in my brain, but, like, that was Gina. Like, I know her voice, and it was. It was insane. This is off topic, but a song that really got me through, like, funeral planning and just, like, the first month or so was Be okay by Lauren Daigle. And my aunt sent it to me after I told her this story about Gina saying, you're going to be okay. And it just. Just. That song really resonates with me because, I don't know, it's like, one of the things I've heard Gina saying to me since she's been gone. But, yeah, so that's just another little godwink. And since I've felt that peace, especially, like, this whole process of grieving has just been so much easier because I can really just feel my faith and be so confident in it. Okay, then. I think we're about to leave, so it must have. We were at the church for about three hours now at this point. I already had, like, a whole bunch of follow requests on, like, my personal Instagram and all these text messages from people who don't really reach out to me normally. So I was like, oh, people already know. Yeah. Like I said, I called one of my pretty close friends and told her the news, and she Kind of had the same reaction of me, of just, like, shock and just, like, no really response. But I was really trying to get ahold of my best, best friend, and she would not answer. And I knew she was at work, but we also have, like, a lot of the same friends. And I just did not want the word to get it to her through somebody else. I wanted me to be able to be the one to tell her. So I, like, called her a whole bunch of times and texted her, like, call me first. Or, like, call me now. She actually responded. Or once she finally responded, she was like, I can't. I'm at work. And I was like, no, call me now. I'll tell the story now, so I don't forget to say it. But this was. As we were driving to the restaurant. I'll get to this. Like, 30 minutes. Oh, my gosh, 30 minutes goes by and we're still in the car. And I called her and she had the reaction of just, like, a breakdown and just, like, bawling and understandably. But, yeah, that also made it, like, really sink in, like, just of how this is going to impact people and myself and everyone who not even loved Gina, but just knew her because she was just such an impactful person. So, yeah, that really made it sink in with me. I very. I vividly remember that phone call and just. Just all the feelings that came with that. Um. Okay, let me go back now. So after I was. Had that whole, like, Godwin experience in the bathroom. That sounds weird. Of course it was in the bathroom. But I was. So, yeah, the bathroom was, like, in the back of the church. So I was walking back. There's, like, a little hallway, and then it's like the main sanctuary. And in that hallway, there's a sign that says, I can't. I have it written down. I don't know if this is exactly the same. So. Pastor's wife, if you're listening to this and it's not right, it's something along the lines of God is the same in the valleys as he is on the mountaintops. And that just really resonated with me because I was, you know, I was on this mountaintop like, two hours ago. Not physically, but just, like, having such a fun time with my sister and my dad and just so excited for my future ahead. And, like, you know, I was about to go to college and all these fun and new things were happening. And, you know, I felt God so close to me, and then I was in this valley, and I felt alone. But because I thankfully Had a strong and faithful foundation before this all happened. Like when I read the sign I was like, that is so true. And I was just able to fill him even more in that time and I'm just so grateful. Um, yeah, so we were there for about 30 more minutes and then I think the town worker who like ran into us, not ran into us, like drove right next to us on our way back down from the airport who said that we were able to fly in. Um, he actually ended up going and sitting with us at the church. Um, but I didn't really know he was there cuz I was more towards the back of the church, like laying like on the floor, like on the carpet. And my dad was like in the sanctuary talking with the town worker and then the pastor's husband. So the actual pastor, I think he was just busy. So once he was done with like his work for the day, he was able to come and meet us at the church too. And yeah, the town worker and the pastor kept my dad had like a very like company, which I'm very grateful for because you know, his mind was obviously racing just as much as mine was. So I was just glad that he had these like two guys to just distract him and talk. Talk about life too. You know, we weren't really ever talking about the accident or Gina, but more just about their lives and just like more uplifting things, but kind of random. But the town worker actually lives on a cattle farm which we actually remember passing like on our way. Cuz he has longhorns so those like stick out to you more than just, just like dairy cows. But so he was telling us, telling us this and he was like, did you see my, my place? And we're like, yeah, we think we did. And he was like, I actually just had. Or we just had this cow who has been pregnant for so long and we've been waiting for her to give birth. And finally she gave birth this morning. So on August 1st. And then around the same time, this is when he heard about the news of like Gina and the accident because it's such a small town. So the word spread like that. And apparently they named the little cow that was born Gina after Gina. So. And then so he was showing me pictures and stuff too. That's so sweet. Yeah, it's super, super cute. Just one of those little things that just like bring you so much and peace in that moment. I was just grateful for, for all of them, honestly. So yes, finally it had been like two and a half. Sorry, my story is going to all over the place. My brain's all over the place. But it had been like two and a half, three hours of us sitting at the church. Church. And the pastor's wife was like, well, let's just, like, go get a change of scenery. Let's try to go eat or something. And she actually brought over watermelon to the church at some point, too. And I tried to eat a piece, because I love watermelon. Gina loved watermelon. Like, that's our thing. And I ate a piece, or I tried to. And my teeth literally felt like they were gonna fall out because I was just like. So I felt so sick for, like, a week after all this. Like, I could not, like, honestly, like, two weeks after, I just couldn't not get myself to eat anything. Understandably. But anyway, so we decided to go up to this restaurant, which was on a golf course. Um, yeah. And it was, like, up the hill, pretty close to the airport. Um, and this is when I called my other best friend, Kate. And that's the one who had that, like, breakdown reaction. And he really made it set in more, I guess. Um. Yeah. And so we got to the restaurant. I don't know if the waiters there had heard already, just because, like I said, the word was spreading so fast, or if the pastor's wife, like, said something to one of them just to kind of, like, explain. Explain why we probably were not, like, why we were so down at a restaurant. And like I said, it was a very nice day out. And I love to be outside. I love to be in the sunshine, so. Or in. In the heat. So I didn't like being in, like, the cold restaurant. So we were able to sit outside, like, on the deck, and the breeze was still going, and we were, like, under the. What, land? I don't. Yeah. Canopy. So, like, the sun wasn't on me, but it just felt. It was so nice. And once again, looking out at the view, I was just like, oh, still just so beautiful. But, yeah, I didn't eat anything. I think my dad ate one bite of whatever he ordered, and that was it. But, yeah, for the most part, we were just chatting about life or just staring out into the distance. Oh. Going back to, like, the waiters and stuff. They somehow knew because at least one of them, like, our actual waitress for our table, like, came and gave us hugs. And I don't know, that just made me feel so loved. And I think they paid for whatever food we end up getting. Um, and that also really made it sink in just of, like, now we're the family that people feel bad for and want to do good things for, which obviously I'm very grateful for. But it was just like, oh, that's us. And this is just the beginning of, of what this is all gonna, I don't know, turn out to be. But I think if I can remember correctly, one of the waiters from that restaurant has reached out to me now since the foundation has started and just saying how, like, they all prayed for us that night and continue to pray for us. So very beautiful thing. I'm very grateful for that. But. Yeah. So we finally finished our food. Our uncle was finally going to be there in like 10 minutes. I was like, let's go. And we drove up to the airport and saw him land. And I just wanted to get in that plane and go like, I was like, I want to see my mom. I want to be with mom, I want to be with my siblings. Yeah. And I knew like, a lot of my family members and friends were at my house too. And I am a very. I don't know, I'm very fulfilled by loved, obviously. So I just, I needed to, like, feel that because my dad is a very loving person. But obviously when you're experiencing something like that, you don't really have much love. Love, like reading from you in that moment. I mean, I didn't either. So I was just ready to, to get home and to just physically. Yeah. Be with people that I loved, I loved, and care about, cared about. Yeah. So we got on the plane and like I said, it was like a three hour flight. And I think we, I spoke like two words to my uncle the entire time. Like, we did not speak at all. It was crazy. I mean, it was also getting. It was dark out, so it was getting late. And so we're obviously just tired, but. And just exhausted from what we just experienced. But yeah, it was the most silent three hours of my life. And like I said, I like to talk, so I was like, oh, but I mean, I wasn't in the mood to, to be speaking either. Um, this is kind of random, but when we did, when we first took off, it was when the sun was setting and it was so beautiful. And I, like, took up my phone and started taking pictures. And then I just like, was so guilty. I was like, how are you able to sit here and, and cherish this sunset when your sister just died? And then from then on out, I was like, no, that is not how you're going to live. Like, you are still living and you are going to allow yourself to. To cherish all of the good and the joy that the Lord is still bringing you. Because, like, I deserve that. And Gina deserved everything that she got in her 18 years. And really, you know, if we live for the Lord, we deserve heaven. And, like, she's. Or she's finally getting what she truly deserves. I'm like, no, I'm. I'm not gonna live that way. Like, I am gonna take these pictures of the sunset and just sink in this. Good. And, like, especially because I was experiencing so much sadness and grief in that moment. I was so, like, no, like, you have. Your heart lightens for a second. Yeah.
