Loading summary
Transcript121 lines
- [00:00]
Dinah Schaefer
Well, thank you for having me. I'm very honored to come on here and to be able to share my story today. I'm sharing the story of how I witnessed my identical twin sister's death. And I want to share this kind of, like, beautiful outlook that I have on grief. And what I've learned since she's passed, I've really just learned that grief does not need to overtake you, and you have that the power to control how you handle these things. I obviously also just want to come on here to honor Gina and just who she was as a person and to show that the Lord is still good even in your storms, because he does work all things for good. Okay, so I'll kind of just start with a little intro about myself. So I'm Dininah Shafer. I'm 18 years old, and I'm from Minnesota. I'll kind of just start with, like, a little intro about myself. So my name is Dinah Schaefer, and I'm 18 years old from Minnesota. I have two parents, Amy and Joe, and they are the most amazing people ever. Just super inspiring and encouraging people. They just let us. Us. I mean, my siblings just be who we want to be. And, yeah, they have their strict moments, but they really just are letting us figure out life for ourselves. And I've always been super duper thankful for. My family is known as this, like, the crazy adventurous family. Like, growing up and stuff, we always were just riding and driving everything we could, like four wheelers, snowmobiles, dirt bikes, all the things. All the fun stuff. Yeah, we just love to have adventures and go on super, like, fun, adventurous vacations and stuff like that. My parents both came from strong, like, Christian families, and they thankfully raised us to be the same, which I'm super thankful for. And my dad's side of the family, well, I guess both we have. We have. We're very passionate people and have a lot of strong morals, which just helps us to stay strong in who we are. I have three siblings. I have an older brother, Eli, an older sister Lucy, and then my identical twin sister Gina. And I'm very close with all three of them, but Gina and I were just those twins that were inseparable, like, the annoying ones that you would see in the hallway at school and be like, oh, my gosh, they're always together. That was just us. And, like, I just always think about. Think back, like, if Gina was sick or something and I had to go into school and I had to, like, walk into the building by myself, I'd be so Anxious because I didn't even know how to, like, walk by myself.
- [02:11]
Interviewer
Right.
- [02:11]
Dinah Schaefer
So we just did everything together. So, yeah, we danced together, we played soccer together. So all these sports. And we sang together. We led worship at our church. We were singing 24 7. Like, that's just what we did. Our. We had such this, like, natural, effortless, like, harmony every time we sang. So. Yes, but even when we weren't forced to be together, it was still our favorite thing to be right next to each other. And, like, we always hated if we had to, like, go to a friend's house by ourselves. Like, we're like, no, we're. We're a team. We were one. Yeah. Yes. Okay. That's just a little gist of, like, my childhood. But to really fast forward, I'll go to last summer. So 20. Summer of 2024 is when we graduated high school. We both had 4.0, so we had valedictorians of our high school. Oh, yeah. Just. Good job. That's great. Yeah. And we did do online school the last two years of high school, which I am so grateful for, because we literally would do school for like, two hours a day, and that would be it. And then we just got to hang out with each other, just, like, do things that really filled our buckets versus sitting in a brick building for seven hours a day.
- [03:15]
Interviewer
Was that because of. Did everything change because of COVID or.
- [03:18]
Dinah Schaefer
That was after. I think Covid gave us, like, a taste of like, okay, we can be self motivated and we do, like, to do things on our own. And school is really drawn out and, you know. Yeah, we're not always surrounded by, like, the best people. So, like, I think Covid gave us, like, a taste of, like, what it could be like. And I think just like the summer before we started, our mom was like, do you guys want to do online school? She was kind of, like, joking. And we were like, no, we do.
- [03:39]
Interviewer
Right? I would say.
- [03:40]
Dinah Schaefer
And so, yeah. And it was online school, guys, not homeschool. There's a difference. But no, yeah, it was. I'm just very glad that we did that because, like I said, we kind of got to, like, figure out life ourselves and then to hang out with each other all the time too, which I'm grateful for. Looking back once again, we together as much as possible this past summer, especially because, you know, we thought we were going to college, which we were both planning to go down to Florida, but at separate schools. Just an hour apart, though. So an hour apart seems like, you know, very far for us. Because we were together all the time. But we spent our summer on a mission trip in Kansas City, which that was very fun. I don't. It was just like I saw Gina growing her faith, even though, like, I was like, how could this girl get any more faithful? Like, she was just incredible. We went to church camp too, which is just like a week of so much fun and just once again growing in your faith and just making new friends. And so that was a blast to be able to experience both of those things with her. This past summer, we went on a few adventures with some of our friends and families, a few vacations, an RV trip with our best friend Kate. So that was fun. I'm glad that we had those experiences this summer. But then it was getting towards the end of or the beginning of August, and our dad really wanted to like go and do a trip with the both of us because we were getting sent off to our freshman year of college. So we decided to go on this like dirt bike trip out west. So yeah, like I said, we're from Minnesota. So we were going to go to North Dakota and Wyoming to just kind of have a few day adventure on our, on these road approved dirt G. And I and my dad were very excited for this trip because it was definitely like up our alley. And we were looking forward to it like all summer because it was just, I don't know, we just loved adventures like that. Like, we're not the type of family to go on vacation and just like lay there and do nothing. I mean, sometimes that's good, but we just like to like go and do fun things. Yeah. So we were super excited. Um, I'll just go to the day before. So July 31st of 2024, um, we were packing up. So we decided to pack up our bikes like in the truck and then drive like almost all the way through North Dakota. And then we were going to start like actually on our bikes, like going into Wyoming and then coming back. Does that make sense? Yes. So we weren't biking from Minnesota to Wyoming. Yes. So we were packing our bikes in the truck and then just like all of our gear and everything. And we were. It was a summer day, so we were outside, we were packing up our, all of our equipment, all of our bikes and stuff. And we were out, like in the, on our concrete pad out in front of our house. And by we, I mean my dad, Gina and I. And she just looked at my dad and I and she goes, you know, if I die, just like on this adventure, just know that I'LL be doing something fun and that I enjoy, and I want to be cremated. And Gina talked about, like, death a lot because she was just, like, so at peace with dying because she knew she was going to go to heaven, and that's what we live for. But. And, like, she's talked about how she's going to be cremated. Like, if she wouldn't have told me the day before, I still would have known, just being her twin. But, like, just when she said it that time, it just. I fully remember, like, my heart was like. I feel like I needed to hear that. And obviously, that didn't, like, arise too many red flags in my brain where I was like, oh, my gosh, we shouldn't do what we're doing. Yeah. But I do remember just kind of being like, that seemed like I needed to not. And when she said it, I remember, like, looking at her and laughing, and I was like, I'm glad you want. You know, what you want to or what happens with your body when you die? Because I don't know. I mean, now I do, but. Yeah, it just. She was, like, so sure when she said that. And then now, once we got back home from all of this, Lucy, my older sister, did tell us, too, that she also went up into her room before she left, and Gina was just saying the same thing. She was like, you know, I want one alive person to know this at least, but if we die or if I die, just know that I'm. I love my life, and I'm super happy, and I'm doing something that I love, and I want to be cremated, and I know I'm going to heaven, so I'm okay, and you don't need to worry about me. Like, just the fact that she said that and just reassured all of us. Yeah. I mean, people who have, like, gone to heaven and came back say, like, they had a feeling before it happened, but so I feel like she kind of had that.
- [07:35]
Interviewer
But once again, your intuition and everything, you just.
- [07:38]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah, right. Oh, another this kind of a story that kind of ties in with, like, intuition. Like, I feel like, you know, she had to know something. But okay, like I mentioned earlier, we sang together all the time. We led worship together all the time. And like, I said, we were a package deal. Like, you weren't gonna get one of us. It was both of us or neither of us. And so remember how I said how I went to. Or we went to that church camp this summer, so there's, like, a worship leader there who leads worship the entire week at Camp. And once I got back this, this past summer, I was like thinking to myself, I was like, oh, I want to be the worship lead next summer. Like that'd be something I would really enjoy. And it was just like really heavy on my heart. And I was praying about it and I was like, in my living room and I was just like, I'm gonna do that. Like, I'm gonna be the worship lead next summer. And never in my mind did ever cross that. Like, Gina's gonna do it with me. Which is so odd cuz like I said, we always sang together. And so, yeah, I was like praying about it in my living room. And then I like, I think she was in the kitchen probably cooking or something. Cooking. What's her favorite thing to do? And I just walked up to her and I was like, gina, I want to be the worship lead at camp next summer. See, I walked in and just said like, I want to be the worship leader at camp next summer. And she just looked at me and said, yeah, you should do that. And once again, she had no. Like, we didn't talk back and forth about how she's gonna do it with me or she wasn't like, oh, you're gonna do that by yourself. It was just, yeah, you're going to do that. And I vividly remember just like walking away and I was like, that was weird. Like, once again, I. It obviously didn't. Like, I wasn't like, oh, Gina's gonna die in a week. But it was just like, why did. Why is it just gonna be me? Like, I remember thinking that and it was really, really odd. And we'll see. Maybe next or this summer I will be the worship lead. I'm not really sure where my life will take me.
- [09:20]
Interviewer
Like all of these things, it's like a. It's preparing you, but you don't really know it in that moment.
- [09:26]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah. Yeah. So kind of beautiful because.
- [09:28]
Interviewer
Yeah, for sure.
- [09:29]
Dinah Schaefer
I mean, I.
- [09:30]
Interviewer
And I do believe that's how life works.
- [09:32]
Dinah Schaefer
Right? For sure. Yeah. Yep. Okay, so then. Yes. We started driving into North Dakota on July 31, 2024. And it was probably like a seven hour drive, I think. And we were singing the whole time. Just bugging our dad. No, he loves when we sing. So we were basically doing karaoke the entire time. It was just like, it was honestly like I felt like I. In a movie. It was such a vibe. And like I said, it was like a nice and sunny summer day. So it's just like so beautiful. But this is so random. But you Know what? Want me to say this, but we got chocolate ice cream, like, on our way, and her favorite thing was chocolate ice cream. So I'm, like, glad that she had that the day before she died. Such a little thing, but it means something to me. And then, like, obviously we were talking. It was a long ride. So, like, we were getting into, like, some deep conversations, but she just kept listing all of her favorite things. And, like, her twin, I could have already probably listed all of them anyway, but I was just like, why is she, like, like, ranting to me about all of her favorite things? Or, like, all these things are so important to her, and, like, I'm glad she did, because now I have such, like, confidence on, like, when I'm saying, like, oh, her favorite thing was this, because she literally told me the day before. But once again, I remember that was kind of weird, too. I was just like, why is she going off of all these things? I already know, but she just wanted us to know. Okay, so we were about an hour away from, like, where we knew we were going to stay in North Dakota. And so dad was like, hey, girls, pick a spot to sleep for the night. Whether it's a hotel, cabin, whatever, campsite. We didn't really care. And so we were both searching, kind of like racing to figure out who would find out where we're staying. And then she found this place called Wyatt's Hideaway. And Wyatt is her boyfriend's name. And so my dad and I were, like, making fun of her. We're like, of course you want to stay there because it's Wyatt's name or whatever. But, like, looking back, I am so grateful that we stayed there because, I mean, obviously it's her boyfriend, so she's already thinking about him. But, like, because we were staying at a place with his name, I feel like she was probably thinking about him a lot more, which just brings me comfort because she didn't get to see him the day before she died or the day of. So I'm like, that's cute to kind of think about, but it was just funny. Dad and I were like, oh, my gosh. You know, first you want to stay at Wyatt's Hideaway, and there's, like, a picnic table that said why it's Hideaway on it. And so, like, she, like, posed the picture, and those pictures are so cute. But anyway, okay. So we finally arrived at Wyatt's Hideaway. It was just like, this tiny cabin. Like, half of this room, honestly. It was teeny. Just two bunk beds, and we were about to go to bed, and I think, like, the lights were still on, but we were just winding down. And. Okay, two bunk beds. Gina was on the bottom of the one, and then dad is on the bottom of this one, and I was on the top. I don't know why I wasn't sleeping on Gina's bed, but that's just where I chose to go. Anyway, but my dad started telling stories. And if you know my dad, he's, like, the best storyteller in the world. He just is hilarious and, like, is so. I don't know, you, like, you can totally envision it when he's speaking because it's just so detailed and sometimes it's a little slow. But no, he's so good. Anyway, so, yeah, he was just us. All these stories. Some about, like, experiences or, like, his experience of getting his motorcycle license and, like, whatever, Stuff like that. Um, and so, yes, like I said, dad and Gina were on the bottom bunks. And I didn't want to, like, sit up on top and listen to those. I was like, I want to be down there. So I went down and I sat at the end of Gina's bed, and I ended up, like, sitting on her feet, and she was like, get off. Like, move. And I almost did, but I was like, no, like, stay here. And I'm so glad I stayed there. And we just laughed so hard for, like, an hour straight. When listening to my dad say these stories, I remember, like, literally, I'm so dramatic, but I was, like, rolling on the ground at some point. Cause I was laughing so hard. But yeah, she just like. I mean, not. She was joking, but kept yelling at me the whole night to, like, move off her feet. And I was like, no, I'm staying here. And I'm just glad I did. Um, so many good memories. Yeah, like, memories that I'm like, I'm. I'm glad you did that, Dinah. Cause otherwise I would have been like, ugh. Since we were, like, 10 years old, Jean and I have always said, good night. Love, you see, in the morning to each other. And we say it really fast. Good night this morning. So, like, people are like, what does that mean? It's like our own little thing. I mean, we started saying it to our. Our parents and, like, some our close friends, too. So the real ones know what it means when we say it so fast. But, like, we could not go to bed without saying that first. So, like, we always. Or we shared a room. And, like, if I would say good nightly morning, and then she would say it Back. But then she would have, like, another story to tell. So we would, like, talk to each other for, like, five more minutes. And, like, no matter what, we would always end with morning. Anyway, I'll get back to my story in a sec, but I got a tattoo now of her initials, gls. But also, we've realized since she decided someone brought us, brought it to our attention, that it's good night, love you see, in the morning gls, like her initials. So that's just like another little, like, godwink. That is just so cute. Um, yeah, I just love that. But anyway, I vividly remember she was already sleeping by the time I was. Like, she was always asleep before me. I was. I'm such a night owl. But before I went to bed on July 31st, um, and so I just, like, looked down at her, like, sleeping. That sounds so creepy. I just said, like, good night, love you in the morning. And I do think she said it to me before she went to bed. I can't really remember that, but knowing us, she definitely did. But I'm just glad that I did say that the last night. And, like, it was true. Like, I did see her the next morning. You know, I don't know. That always brings me, like, some peace. But. Okay, then. August 1, 2024, is actually our half birthday. And I remember we talked about it on the day before, but we never actually said, like, happy half birthday to each other on the first, which we normally did, just because it's funny, I don't know. But yeah, we never said that to each other, but I think it's because we were just so, like, distracted getting ready for the trip or whatever. And so, yeah, we, like, unloaded our bikes, we got to our little starting point and drove our truck to where it was gonna stay for the next few days. And then our, like, our gear for the whole trip was like. Like our clothes and stuff was like this big because our. It's just like we were riding on these rudderproof dirt bikes. I do wanna make that clear. We were not riding motorcycles that go 70 miles an hour. We were going, like 35 miles an hour on these dirt bikes just for people to know. Because people like to ass. Um, but yeah, so we were just like, trying to keep our. Our load light so that we could. It wasn't like, distracting us on our driving or whatever. And yeah, we were just like, riding around, getting ready. We had all of our gear on, so we had, like, Viking pants and boots and helmets and all the things, all the gear. So we're just, like, getting all of our stuff on and chatting and all excite, all excited. Our dad was, like, taking pictures of us because, I don't know, he's just. I don't know, he's just like that. But I remember the very last thing I said to her, like, before we took on, like, our initial send off. I just looked at her and I said, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. And I think she just, like, smiled and nodded. But I just remember, remember that. And I don't know, it just makes me happy when I think about that. I'm like, glad I said that too. But anyway, so once again, it was a beautiful summer day. The sun was shining so bright. But, like, when we were going, the priest felt so good. I had this phone stand. Gina didn't have a phone stand. Her phone was, like, in her bag or whatever. But I'm also very grateful that I had a phone stand on my bike. And so I was, like, able to listen to music the whole time. Once again, I literally felt like I was in a movie. I was like, yes. It was just such a vibe. It was just so. I don't know, I was like, I'm gonna remember this forever. And I still do. Anyway, we stopped a few times to just chat and kind of, like, regroup. My dad, like, made our route beforehand, but we kind of like, we're going off it just, like, based off of, like, where we want to go on, like, which roads and stuff. So, yeah, that morning we rode probably, like, 50 miles, I think, of gravel road. And gravel road's a little tough to ride in because you get, like, stuck in, like, all those ruts and stuff. But it was good to, like, start with that. Yeah, like I said, I don't think I ever went over 40 miles an hour. So it was just a chill. Like, it was honestly just a vibe. But yeah, we were passing, like, we were in rural North Dakota. So we're just, like, passing all these, like, farmlands and whatever, and it's just so beautiful looking out. And the sun just felt so nice. I'm such a song girl. I just love when the sun's on. But about two hours, I could be getting this wrong. I don't really know. Two or three hours in, we took this one. I didn't know it was going to be our final stop, but our final stop before it all happened. And once again, it was really hot out, so we, like, intent or purposely, like, stopped underneath these, like, shaded trees, and we were, like, looking out and there's like, all these mountains, and it was just, like, so such beautiful landscape. And our dad was, like, trying to figure out where we're gonna go next. And I remember Gina, like, looking out in the view, and she was just like, you know, I would only live here if the world gets any more evil because, like, it's just getting so bad, and I want to live somewhere where people aren't. If, like, it just keeps going downhill. And I don't know, that just cracks me up. But, like, it also kind of brings me peace. I mean, obviously, her soul isn't really there anymore, but, like, that's where her body rested for the last time in, like, such a beautiful place. So I was like. But, yeah, Gina was a very, like. I guess you can just say, like, anxious person. Like, her dream. Like, one of her. She's had, like, no bucket list. I had a bucket list. I have a bucket list. Like, I want to do all these things. And she was just so content. Like, her bucket list was just too get married and have kids and raise a beautiful family and go to heaven. And I think she always, like. Or she would have felt so guilty, like, having kids if our world, you know, continues to go the way that it's going. Yeah. And so, like, yeah, just like, her saying, like, if the world gets any more evil, like, then I'm gonna live here. But, yeah, that kind of, like, is a good input or a good snippet of, like, who Gina was. She just liked when things were just simple and peaceful. Yeah. And calm. But, yeah. Okay, that was kind of a little random story, but so we were trying. Trying to decide where we wanted to go next, and Gina really wanted to see Devil's Tower. Do you know what Devil's Tower is? It's like a. It's literally just a rock on the ground. I mean, it's huge. It's a whole national monument. Don't get me wrong. It's beautiful, but, like, we've already seen it. And I was like, why do you want to see it so bad? Again, like, I don't know. And so the easiest way or, like, the way that made the most sense to, like, go to get to Devil's Tower was to go on this, like, highway. At this point, we were already in Wyoming. Like, we were really close to North Dakota when we started. So, like, a few miles in, we were already in Wyoming. And so my dad was, like, looking at the route, and he's like, okay, let's go on this highway. And then in, like, a few miles, we're going to stop at this little town. So it made the most sense to take this little highway into this town that we were going to go where we plan to eat lunch. And then we were going to finish our way to Devil's Tower. And I just want to say, too, the highway is in the middle of rural Wyoming. So, like, there was, like, zero traffic. But people probably try to envision of a highway being, like, no, it was really chill. I think we passed one car and then, like, one motorcycle group our entire way until it happened. So, yes, we had, like, a mile of gravel road left, and then that's where we met the highway. And so we were like, okay, ready? Let's go. So then we got on the highway, and once again, it was still pretty chilly. I mean, it was, like, twisty and turning, like, the gravel roads. But it was, like, such an easier ride because you're not getting stuck in all this, like, roots and stuff. So, like, it was, like, flat and. Yeah. So smooth. And once again, it felt like a movie. I was like, here we go with my music.
- [20:35]
Interviewer
It seems like you're setting the scene.
- [20:37]
Dinah Schaefer
Good.
- [20:37]
Interviewer
Like, I feel like I'm envisioning everything.
- [20:39]
Dinah Schaefer
Well, good. Yes. Yes. We were riding on the highway, and then eventually we did get to see, like, Devil's Tower. I mean, it was far, but you could definitely, like, make out what it was. And I remember, like, just, like, all three of us kind of, like, clumped together for a second. We're just, like, smiling, and I was, like, pointing. And Gina was just, like, so happy. I think she was just excited that she got to see it again, even though once again, I'm like, girl, it's a rock in the ground, right? Like, what's so exciting about this thing we've already seen? But I'm glad that she got to see it one last time. And so for most of the time, I was in the front. And then Gina and my dad. I don't know, my dad kind of went. My dad kind of went wherever. But I think we had, like, five miles of highway of just, like, that. Payment. Pavement. Did I say pavement? Payment. Okay, a payment. And then finally, I could, like, see the little town that we were going for. I'm going to eat at lunch. I mean, I could assume that's what it was just because everything else was so bare. I was like, has to be where we're stopping. I didn't really know, though, since I didn't have the map. But, okay, so we had one. I'm going to kind of explain the road so you can track. But it was like one more curve, and it was like it had like a little downhill. I mean, it wasn't like a huge hill, but a little downhill. And then a hill, a little hump, and then you're in town. Okay. Like that. And right before I took. Was going into, like, that last curve, my dad sped around me and was like, going super fast. And I was like, like, why is he going so fast? But like, I didn't change my speed or anything else, so just like, okay, whatever. I think he's just excited to get to town. Right? So, yes, my dad sped off in front of me, and then I went around this last curve. Gina's behind me. And then I was on the downhill. As soon as I saw my dad go over that last hump right into town. Are you tracking? Yes. So as soon as he took the last hump over town, I was going down the downhill. I looked in my rear view mirror. Rearview mirror? Yeah, that little mirror. And that's when I saw the collision. And I didn't see anything before. I just looked down, saw it. It just looked like a movie scene. That's the best way I can describe it. Like, things were just everywhere. She collided with this tanker truck. So like a semi, like the, like, cylinder. So, yeah, she collided on, I think, the back axle of this tanker truck. And, you know, at first I was like, oh, was that Gina? Because you don't think it's going to be. And then I couldn't see, like, another bike. So I was like, it has to be. And so there's actually, like I said, there was no traffic until they're just like, was or not traffic, but vehicles. So there was the semi, and then there was a sprinter van, and then a motorcycle group. And then at some point, there was a motorcycle group coming from this way, too. From behind us.
- [23:16]
Interviewer
So did this. This all happened behind you, right?
- [23:19]
Dinah Schaefer
Yes. Okay. She was behind me. She was behind me. I saw it in my mirror. And I. Once again, I didn't see anything before they collided. Just the collision.
- [23:26]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [23:27]
Dinah Schaefer
So I was gonna turn around on my bike, but once I saw, like, that other biker group coming in the other lane, I was like, I don't want to try to have to, like, stay in my lane. And. Cause that's just like a really tight turn. So then I just somehow was able to just slow down my bike. I mean, fastly, but. And I just, like, threw my bike to the side going back. Remember how I said I had my phone stand? Thankfully, I was Able to just like rip my phone off of my stand and then start running. And like I mentioned I was in like these huge, like heavy biker boots. So they feel ski boots if you've ever, ever been in ski boots. I'm like running up this kind of like hill to her and I'm whipping off my helmet and I couldn't like find her until she was at my feet. Like, I, I don't remember seeing her until she was at my feet. But yeah, like the whole way up there I was just like praying to her parents, like, lord, like, please let her be breathing. Like, I, I just didn't know what it was going to be like. Like I said, it looks like a movie scene, but I couldn't like make out her in the mushroom or like in the mess of it all. Um, so I didn't, I just.
- [24:29]
Interviewer
And did your dad know what happened yet or. He was.
- [24:31]
Dinah Schaefer
No. Okay, yeah, I'll get to that. Okay. Sorry. No, you're good. Um, so, yes, I was running up there. I didn't, I couldn't like make her out until she was literally at my feet once again, still praying just for prayers. So finally she was at my feet. And at that point, you know how I said there was a biker group behind us too, like in our same lane. A guy from that group got to her before I did, I think just because he was able to like drive right up to the scene and right away he just, just like looked at me. He said, do you know who this is? And I was like, yes, look at her. That's my identical twin sister. Like, do we not look the same? No, I was like so mad just because I was just in like so much. Yeah, I don't know. This entire time it was definitely like an out of body experience. I just felt like so much shock. I just felt like I was like floating. Like I can.
- [25:11]
Interviewer
I'm sure it happens so fast.
- [25:12]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah, this is all happening within like two minutes. I'm just trying to go into detail to have you understand it more. But yeah, so I was like, yes, of course I know who this is. Like, that's my twin. Obviously. I'm just not being respectful because I'm just so concerned for what's at my feet right now. And so, yeah, like I said, he got to her before I did. And so once he said, like, do you know this is. And I was like, yes, how's my twin sister? He was like, there's no pulse. And I was like, okay. So then I reached down my hand trying to like, see if there was a pulse at all. This part just, like, gets me because I just remember. Like, it just takes me back. But, yeah, I reached my hand down, I don't know where, like, on her neck or something. And I was like, oh, there's a pulse. And it was just my heartbeat in my arm because my heart was beating so fast. And I think as soon as I said that, I was like, there's no way there's a pulse. Like, that's yours. And I think he just kind of, like, said it one more time. And once again, like, this entire time, me running up him, like, asking if I knew who it was. Like, I was still, like, praying to some prayers out loud and just, like, in my brain, too. And as soon as it just clicked with myself, like, there's no pulse, my prayers, like, switched. I was like, I know she's already with Jesus. Like, there's no point to wish it back because I know that his plan is final. And it just. I was just like, there's no. There's no need to, you know, be asking for a miracle anymore. And I knew that she was probably definitely experiencing, like, such pure happiness and joy. And I was like, there's. She's with her. With Jesus. Like, she's fine. So I remember once again, this is happening within, like, seconds. But I just switched my prayer, and I was just like, I know she's, like, already in your arms and just, like, welcome her. And I was just like, oh, I just hope heaven is even more than what she could ever even imagine while she was here on Earth.
- [27:01]
Interviewer
And I feel like the fact that it did happen so fast, it's so much better that she didn't suffer.
- [27:06]
Dinah Schaefer
Yes.
- [27:07]
Interviewer
And that you didn't have to see her suffer.
- [27:08]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah. It was, like, a second. And the second was probably when I was. Or when I was running, like.
- [27:13]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [27:13]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah. And I do want to say she was on her stomach, and then I could see, like, just this side of her face, and it just looked like Gina. Like, she just looked like she was sleeping. She just looked, like, so beautiful. Which I'm glad, because it wasn't like, it, like, still looked like her, and it wasn't, like, this horrific, like, picture of her. But it also made it so much harder to comprehend because, like I said, it just looked like she was sleeping. So I'm, like, It was just hard to, like, accept. Yeah. And to, like, get it in my brain, like. No. So, yes, like I said, my dad, he sped off that last hump. And so as I'm running up, as you know, I'm talking with this other motorcycle guy. I'm like, okay, if dad's Or Dad's not here yet, he clearly did not know or didn't see it because he went over the hump, like, right as it happened. So I was like, hey, obviously need to call my dad, because he would be here by now. So then I called him, and he had, like, this headset on. You know, like, those headsets that I go into your, like, ears. I don't know. He had those on so that he could, like, be able to call people if he was riding or whatever. And. But he, like, still had his helmet on, and he couldn't, like, get his. Or his earbuds. I don't know. He just couldn't hear me. And so at this point, like, the biker group from the people coming at us and the group from behind us, like, everyone's, like, swarming. People are collecting. So there's people all around me. I'm just calling my dad, and I'm like, dad. I'm just telling him. I'm yelling. I'm like, dad, Gina's in the middle of the road, dead. And she's like. He's like, what? Because he couldn't hear me, so I just had to keep yelling it over and over again. She's dead. She's in the middle of the road. Finally, he heard me. The reason why he went over the hill super fast right before me, right before it happened is because he was running out of gas, and so he knew that there was a little gas station in the town. So he was just trying to make it there because he was literally on the emptiest of empty you could be. So he actually had just turned off his bike as soon as I called him. And so then he's like, oh, my gosh, I'm not gonna be able to get my bike to start and then to get back up that hill to the scene. But thankfully. Thankfully, once I hung up on him, he. His bike did start, and he just, like, took off, and he actually passed a cop car, and the cop went like this to him, and he said. He motioned for the. To the. For the cop to come with him. And then, like, a second goes by, and the cop must have, like, gotten the call or something. Someone. I didn't have to call 911. I heard someone else calling. I'm not sure who. I think the guy in the sprinter van. I could be wrong. So, yes, all this has happened in, like, two seconds, but the cop actually ended up speeding in front of him. And then my dad was like, oh, shoot, like, what if I run out of gas now? Like, he was like, I should have, like, somehow gotten a ride from him. But thankfully he made it up the hill right after the cop did. And he kind of did the same thing as me. He just threw his bike down. And I don't. It was just. I mean, it's how you would picture a dad to react, to be seeing what he was seeing, if that makes sense. He was just yelling and pacing and, like, going up to her and like, I don't know, just. I mean, he wasn't like, touching her, but. Because we weren't supposed to. But yeah, I would not. I can vividly remember just, like, what his eyes looked like and what he was saying, and it just, like, makes my heart sink. But, yeah, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy to see their. Their dad like that or anybody like that, because, I mean, I was too. But especially like, being like a dad, I feel like just like being so helpless, you know, Just like. It's heartbreaking seeing their kid like that. Yeah, I mean, me too. It's my twin sister. I'm like, yeah, I gotta do something, but you just can't. So, yeah, once I started. Once my, like, mindset switched and I started having more prayers of, like, almost like, thankfulness and just like, so much peace of like, I know where she is, so I don't need to. To worry about her. It's more about, like, us. Yeah, it was like a few minutes. I was probably, honestly, honestly, like 30 seconds. Once again, it's. It's all happening so fast, but my dad was just yelling or whatever, and I just remember him. Remember taking him by the shoulders and I just looked him in the eye and I said, dad, we're going to be okay. Like, we are going to figure this out and we will be okay. And he just, like, nodded his head and then he kind of. Just like it both just kind of went silent for like, I mean, the rest of the week. But, like, the rest of the time he kind of just like, was able to take a breath. I mean, even though it seems so hard, but. And then eventually the ambulance and the police got there and something else that really made it, like, set in and, you know, made me understand it or accept it was the ambulance got there or the ambulance people. What are they called? First responders? Is it. Yeah.
- [31:45]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [31:45]
Dinah Schaefer
You know what I mean? They got out and they didn't rush to Gina. They rushed to dad. And I Making sure we were okay because they already knew, like, it. Yeah. I do want to say that the extent of her injuries, like CPR wouldn't have done anything. Um, I have. I'll get into this later, but I have, like, a social media and stuff about, like, our foundation and about Gina, and I've shared, like, our story on TikTok and there's, like, a lot of comments like, oh, why didn't you. Or why don't they do CPR or whatever. Like, sometimes that works. And like I said, if you would have. I don't want to. This is like, the only information I won't share is, like, the extent of her injuries. That's obviously very personal to us. Everything else I pretty much share because obviously, like, helps people understand our story more. So, yes, they. I think they just knew that if you were to do cpr, it wouldn't have done anything. As hard as that is to. To grasp, especially for strangers on the Internet. They're like, come on. And I'm like, if you would have known you. Yeah. Yes. So then. Okay, once again, this is all within, like, the first. First five minutes of it all. It just seemed like forever. And it seems like forever when I'm explaining it, but obviously I was like, okay, I need to call my mom. I think this is when my dad was still just kind of processing. I mean, I was obviously still processing everything. I still am, but so I was like, I need to call my mom. I knew she was at work, which my parents own a business. They're so slay. They're the best. But anyway, and I didn't know this, but she was in a meeting, so she didn't answer the first time. And then I think she, like, was hanging out my call. And then she saw we have life360 as a family. And I think she saw the collision notification. Like, Gina, I don't know what it says. Just basically saying, like, it could be a collision. Not sure. Check in with them. So she was hanging up, Read that notification when I was starting to call her back the second time. So even though she was in a meeting, it, like, clicked with her that something must have happened. So. So thankfully she answered the second time. And yeah, she, like I said, she was in a meeting, but they were able to obviously stop it. And two of her employees were able to rush her home. We don't live too far from where, like, their main offices. So it only took her, like, well, honestly, like, so I was still on the phone call with her this entire time, but it felt like, 30 seconds, and then, boom, she was already home. So her employees must have been driving fast. But no, I'm so grateful for those. For those two employees to be there for my mom in that time. Yeah, she got home, and thankfully, my sister Lucy and my brother Eli were both home because Eli works a job, like, in the cities in Minnesota, so he doesn't really work from home, but he was that day. Lucy's just a busy girl. She was always. She plays soccer. She played soccer in college. So, like, she was always at soccer, doing whatever, working, too. And so it was also, like, a blessing to. To think about, like, that they were both at home when this happened. So, yes, they finally got home. I heard my mom explaining it to them and what just happened. And my mom, she's like. Her voice was just so calm. I mean, obviously, once again, we're all still in shock, so, like, you have that calmness in you, like, already. But she's. I mean, I've just seen my mom go through, like, a lot of, like, hard things in her life, and just the way that she's just so. I don't know, she just brings such, like, a peace. And I'm so thankful for that, because I'm not always like that, so it's so good. But, yeah, I just remember her telling my siblings and hearing them and hearing their reactions, and, you know, you don't ever want to experience that. So. Yeah, I can still vividly recall, like, that phone call with my mom, and I was just like, this girl is just amazing. It just made me, like. I don't know, just, like, love her so much more. I just, like, she's just so strong, and I strive to be like my mom. A lot of people are always like, my mom's the best, Mike.
- [35:28]
Interviewer
Not like mine.
- [35:29]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah, my mom's something else. I just love her. So. Okay. Yeah. So finally I was able to get off the phone with her, and I think that's when she started calling, like, the rest of our family and close friends and stuff, like, back home. And I think that's when they all started, like, come over to our house to comfort the rest of my family who was at home. Okay. So then, yeah, once the ambulance got there, they were, like, more concerned about my dad and I. And the heat is hot, so I, like, took off a lot of my gear, and they were, like, making us sit on, like, the bumper in the shade or whatever, like, bumper of the ambulance in the shade. And I was just, like, staring out once again. It was still so beautiful, but just Staring out and just, like. I don't know. Obviously, all you do is think about what isn't gonna happen now. And G and I had all these dreams and visions for our future, like, together. Like, a lot of our plans involved each other. And so I just remember, like, staring out at the view, and I was just. One of our biggest dreams was to own, like, some cafes together where we hire people with and without special needs, because that's just. We're very passionate about stuff like that. And like I mentioned before, Gina was. She was a chef. So that was just, like, one of our biggest hopes and dreams. And so I just remember, like, thinking about that, and it was just running through my brain. I was like, now what now? Like, that's not possible. Um, and so my dad. I think this is when he started figuring or was, like, trying to figure out our way, our fastest way to get home. And so we were, like, in silence. And I just could not let my brain be racing with, like, those thoughts anymore. So I then called someone that I was super close with, but not, like, Gina, because I didn't really feel like calling our close, close friends yet. I just obviously wasn't in, like, the mindset. Yeah. To talk to that. To talk to them yet. But I was able to call this person. And we just talked for a little bit. And I remember I, like, walked, like, 20ft away from the ambulance just so I wasn't right next to my dad. And I just called them and just explained it. And just, like, the amount of shock I was in, I just remember, like, I didn't cry. I didn't cry for, like, a long. The first few hours, because my. Once again, I just felt, like, so, like, out of body and, like, this isn't real. Like, I always. I mean, in the beginning, it's hard, but now I'm always like, it's real. And don't let yourself trick yourself into thinking it's not real or that it's going to change, because it's not going to. But, yeah, I was just, like, sitting in, you know, the heaviness of it all and just talking to them and just kind of explained what happened. And then eventually it was just like, hey, goodbye. So I hung up and then went back to my dad. I think this is when the heat was starting to get, like, too much for me. So the emt. Is that what you. Yeah, the ambulance workers were like, hey, come sit in the ambulance, because they didn't use it for Gina. So my dad and I went into the ambulance so we could Just be like in the AC and stuff. My older sister Lucy is a pilot and that's what she's going to school for right now. And then my dad has its, has his private pilot's license and then my uncle also has his license along with like some of my other family members. So we have like a few small planes within our family and so that's how we wanted to get home was on one of our planes. So my dad started calling his brother my uncle and was just saying he like hey, are you free right now to come get us? Explaining the whole situation and thankfully he was able to drop everything and come fly out, which I'm so grateful for. At the beginning. I already kind of have like flying anxiety a little bit, but especially in like our small planes because the turbulence can be like really extra. So I'm like when my dad first was like we're gonna fly home, I was like, but now thinking back, I don't think I would have been able to stand an eight hour car ride. Especially like on the road was the plan ride. Three hours, two, two, three hours. Um, so still kind of long but. And then thank like because we're in the air, I don't have the anxiety of being on the road like passing all these cars. So that was good. Looking back. So yes, my dad was trying to make those plans and I just was like staring at the ambulance once again just like in silence. My thoughts were just going and going and then all of a sudden this lady came into the ambulance. I was like, who is this? Um, but basically it was there was a small little First Baptist church into the, in the town that we were going to eat lunch at. And so that was the pastor's wife of that church there. And so she came into the ambulance and just said I am blah blah blah. I'm not gonna say her name, just cuz I don't know if she wants me to but just explained who she was and then just said I'm here to talk if you want to, but otherwise I'm just here for comfort. And I think for like the first minute or so I didn't say anything. I probably nodded my head and smiled when like acknowledged her. Obviously I'm not that disrespectful. Um, but obviously there's so much in my brain so I just wasn't in the mood to really converse. But that didn't last long. And if you know me, I'm a talker. So I eventually just started asking questions like about herself and about her life and I learned all of these things about all of her kids and whatever, and she was just such a calming person. I'm so grateful for her. Don't worry, I've told her. But yeah, we barely said anything about Gina or the accident. We just chatted about life. I mean, I think I talked a little bit about me, but not like about what just happened. Yeah. So I. I can't really recall time, but we were talking for a little bit and then a cop came into the ambulance and needed to like, interview my dad and I just for details. And at this point, like, we didn't really know if it was a crime scene or not. I didn't think it was based off of what I saw. Once again, I didn't see anything before, but I did see like, the actual collision. So I was just able to kind of like, recall everything that I experienced. We had to like, kind of walk him through the night before and just like, I don't know, just kind of tell them about Gina, if that makes sense. I don't. Yeah, they just have to. And I want to clarify this for everybody. It was not the semi driver's fault. We don't know what caused Gina to collide. We don't know if it was like the air change, like going around the curve. And then with the semi, you know how it kind of can, like, change and you know, like, you're going around and it's like, woo, you kind of get pulled closer. We don't know if that happened. We don't know if something caused her to like, lose balance or pop tire. We don't know because her bike was in pieces. So we don't really know what it was. And to me, I. I don't care to ever know what really caused the accident because it all has the same outcome. And so I don't need that, like, reassurance of what really happened because like I said, it all, it all ends the same way. So. But it was not the summer driver's fault. And we pray for him and his family very often because we can only imagine what it's like to experience something like that, even if it's not your fault. That's so, so, so traumatic. And I remember we were like, talking to the cop and I asked a few times because I could see the tanker truck, but I couldn't. Like, I didn't know which one was him because there was still so many people, like, around. But I was like, I want to, like, hug him and just like, tell him that we're not mad and we'll never have any, like, ill feelings towards him, like me or my family. Just. That's just not like, the type of people we are. And obviously during the situation that that's not able to happen. I wasn't able to, like, go up and talk to him. So I hope in the near future I am able to do that. His wife did reach out to us once I started the foundation of Gina and stuff. So it was good to, like, hear from her and to just tell, like, we are. We are just praying for you guys and, like, for her too, because she has to live with this person who experienced something super traumatic. I already said I'm hoping to be able to meet him one day and just. Just reassure him that we. And we know it was nothing that he could have. Like, he couldn't have done anything about it. So once we finished the interview, we still had a little bit more time before, like, the corner was coming to, like, get Gina's body and whatever. So we just continued to sit in the ambulance, and I continued to talk to the pastor's wife. Once again, just kind of more about her life than mine. But it was just helping me keep my mind off of things. And my dad was still trying to figure out plans with my uncle trying to fly in and to come get us. Eventually, the corner got there, and I was not about to leave that scene without, like, praying over her body one more time. Like, I knew her soul wasn't there anymore, but, like, it was still her physical body. And she was just obviously so precious to me. So I was like, I can't. Can't leave here without praying over her, just, like, giving her one last kiss. So we. This wasn't the cop who, like, interviewed us. It was the cop that got there first, I think. And once again, we're in a rural town, so he was kind of like this, like, country, like, I don't know, like, cowboy. Honestly, like, this cop. And he was an older guy and definitely not the best experience with him, obviously, once again. And, you know, no one really knew the situation, if it was a crime scene or just, like, how. I mean, what it. What it really was. And so obviously I get, like, you know, us going, like, more around her body. That can be, you know, it can kind of alter, like, some evidence. But I was just like, can we please just pray over her? I just need to do that for closure. And, yeah, he was, like, arguing with us at first. He's like, no, you're not able to do that. But I was not about to leave without doing it. So I just asked again, respectfully. Obviously, he was just trying to, like, do his job, and I understand that. But there was a point where I got so frustrated because I was just like, this is my twin sister. This is, like, the last time I'm gonna be able to see her body, like, in this way. Um, and so, like, I yelled at him, and because he was just, like, getting so fierce with me, honestly. And I was just like, I just need to pray over her. So eventually, I calmed down, he calmed down, and I was able to just. We were able to go pray with her. Yeah, I did think that was a little inappropriate because obviously we are family. But once again, I do understand that. No. Really understood the situation. But, yes, I am very thankful that my dad and I were able to go pray over her one last time. Yeah, I think my dad said the prayer. I can't remember who was able to function and talk at the time or pretend they're functioning at that time. And then, yeah, I just kissed her one more time on the head. And I think I just said, love you, Hope. Heaven is more than. More than you could ever imagine. Yeah. So we prayed, and then once we were able to leave the scene, I was able to grab, like. Grab, like, all of my gear, some of her gear that we were able to take. And then there was also one of her earrings, one of her bracelets, and then a ponytail that was just, like, on the road. They just flew off during the collision. And so thankfully, the nice cop let me pick it up and take it with me, which I'm very grateful for, because those things are very meaningful to me now, obviously. Yes, I picked them up. I put the bracelet and the ponytail on my wrists and then grabbed all my gear. And the stuff that just, like, made sense that we need to bring home in that. In that moment. Because my dad also arranged someone he knew to come get, like, all of our bikes and stuff and, like, the rest of, like, our heavy gear. So we just really took what we needed to get home, like, our personal stuff. So, like I said, my dad was looking at, like, the nearest airports, and there was one, like, right into the town that we were going to. But when he was looking on his, like, flight. Flight app, it was saying that it was, like, had been closed, like, the last three days. Days. And sometimes that just means they're doing, like, small renovations on the Runway or just something little and where you really can fly in. They just don't want, like, a whole bunch of people flying in. So they just say it's closed. Um, so the pastor's wife offered to drive us up to the airport and then to stay at their church until our uncle actually landed. Um, so we were on our way up and I say up because the hill was like, I mean the town was located like on this huge hill. Um, but the airport was like at the way top of the hill. The mountain, I don't know what you want to call it. But we were on our way up there and she was obviously driving and like even in that two minute drive, I was so anxious. Just like being on the road, we barely passed anyone, but I was just like. So, yeah, once again, very grateful looking back, that we did end up flying and not driving. Very grateful for that opportunity too, to be able to do that. But we finally got up to the airport and my dad just kind of got out and I think it's like, obviously they're all like fenced and gate off. Gated off. But I think he was able to go through like this gate and he just saw it was either like just painted or they put something on the top, I don't know, to make sure it doesn't like crack or something. I don't really know. I probably should have asked him, but something. But I think it was like fine. Like he was like, no, you can land on this. But like he understood why it was still close to like the public. So I think he was trying to call people but like, like at the airport, but no one was answering because it was closed. And so he was like, hey, whatever, we'll figure it out. Or there was actually an airport that was like 15, 20 minutes away in a different town, which isn't that big a deal, but like, like when you're in that situation, you just want to get home as fast as you can. And so, so my dad was like starting to call around and like check out other airports, like near. But once again we're still trying to make that airport be the one that he could land at. We just didn't know if it was going to be possible. And so we were on our way back down, down the hill and trying to get to the church just so we could hang out there for the next few hours. And we got stopped by this town worker and he had already like heard our story and our situation. And he obviously, because he's a town worker, he knew that the airport was. And he knew that we wanted someone to come and fly and get us. And he just said, we're gonna open the airport and you can come and he can land there. And I, I felt like so relieved. Cause once again, obviously like the nearest airport wasn't that far, but it just felt so far because I was just trying to get home. So I was so grateful for that. My dad was so grateful. And then we just went back down to the church and we had about like three hours of waiting time until my, my uncle got there because it's about like a three hour flight. So he obviously had to fly from Minnesota to Wyoming. And I just spent that time. I think in the beginning I was like sitting on like the church pews, just like trying to sleep, just trying to like close my eyes and rest. But obviously my mind is just racing so much. So I was calling my mom a lot, calling my sister a lot. And then my sister and I were trying to make sure that like all of our really, really close friends heard from one of us because I think it was like just a few hours after it happened and the school found out like our hometown school, they already sent out like an email to everybody. And so we were like, we just want like our close people to hear from us and versus like an email or from you know, a friend of a friend of a friend. So my sister and I, Lucy, we're just trying to figure out like who was going to call who until the news. But yeah, I was just, just trying to rest, close my eyes. Just trying to make my brain from soften from pacing and from reliving the, the moment of the actual accident. One of the times I was using the bathroom in the church also I just want to say the pastor's wife, she like an actual angel. She was following me around like everywhere. The church wasn't very small but like when I would go to the bathroom it was like located in the back of the church and she always was like walking with me back there and just like always waiting for me. Or when I was calling mom, she was always right next to me. Um, which I was very grateful for cuz it just, it just like gave me a sense of like peace and like, yeah, she's not my mom, but she was giving me like that mom figure that I needed in that moment. So very grateful for her. But yeah, like I was just saying about like an hour or two after we were just like sitting at the church just trying to. The time felt like it was like I felt like I was at the church for like 50 hours. It was insane. But I was going to the bathroom and I was done, I washed, I was washing my hands, I was Looking down, and I noticed the bracelet that I grabbed from the accent. Gina's bracelet, which she made at the church camp a week prior. And it was green and blue, which is her favorite colors. And then it had, like, a Jesus fish charm on it. And, like, I've seen her wearing it before, like, that whole past week and whatever. And I literally watched myself put it on my wrist, like, two hours prior. But I looked down in that moment, and I looked down at the bracelet, and I just physically felt this, like, piece wash, like, from my head to my feet. It was. It was crazy. And I just remember, like, looking up at myself in the mirror and just smiling, and I was like, how am I able to. To smile in this moment? But then. So after I felt that peace, I heard Gina's voice say to me, like, you are going to be okay. Um, and, yeah, like, I just said, the fact that I was able to smile after experiencing what I just experienced and still, like, just in, like, such that heavy grief and, like, shock, it just made me, like, so confident in. In Jesus and in my faith. Like, and I just knew how much truth that statement held that she said, like, you're going to be okay. Yeah, I don't really, like, hear God talking to me that much or whatever. Like, I don't really always hear voices in my brain, but, like, that was Gina. Like, I know her voice, and it was. It was insane. This is off topic, but a song that really got me through, like, funeral planning and just, like, the first month or so was Be okay by Lauren Daigle. And my aunt sent it to me after I told her this story about Gina saying, you're going to be okay. And it just. Just. That song really resonates with me because, I don't know, it's like, one of the things I've heard Gina saying to me since she's been gone. But, yeah, so that's just another little godwink. And since I've felt that peace, especially, like, this whole process of grieving has just been so much easier because I can really just feel my faith and be so confident in it. Okay, then. I think we're about to leave, so it must have. We were at the church for about three hours now at this point. I already had, like, a whole bunch of follow requests on, like, my personal Instagram and all these text messages from people who don't really reach out to me normally. So I was like, oh, people already know. Yeah. Like I said, I called one of my pretty close friends and told her the news, and she Kind of had the same reaction of me, of just, like, shock and just, like, no really response. But I was really trying to get ahold of my best, best friend, and she would not answer. And I knew she was at work, but we also have, like, a lot of the same friends. And I just did not want the word to get it to her through somebody else. I wanted me to be able to be the one to tell her. So I, like, called her a whole bunch of times and texted her, like, call me first. Or, like, call me now. She actually responded. Or once she finally responded, she was like, I can't. I'm at work. And I was like, no, call me now. I'll tell the story now, so I don't forget to say it. But this was. As we were driving to the restaurant. I'll get to this. Like, 30 minutes. Oh, my gosh, 30 minutes goes by and we're still in the car. And I called her and she had the reaction of just, like, a breakdown and just, like, bawling and understandably. But, yeah, that also made it, like, really sink in, like, just of how this is going to impact people and myself and everyone who not even loved Gina, but just knew her because she was just such an impactful person. So, yeah, that really made it sink in with me. I very. I vividly remember that phone call and just. Just all the feelings that came with that. Um. Okay, let me go back now. So after I was. Had that whole, like, Godwin experience in the bathroom. That sounds weird. Of course it was in the bathroom. But I was. So, yeah, the bathroom was, like, in the back of the church. So I was walking back. There's, like, a little hallway, and then it's like the main sanctuary. And in that hallway, there's a sign that says, I can't. I have it written down. I don't know if this is exactly the same. So. Pastor's wife, if you're listening to this and it's not right, it's something along the lines of God is the same in the valleys as he is on the mountaintops. And that just really resonated with me because I was, you know, I was on this mountaintop like, two hours ago. Not physically, but just, like, having such a fun time with my sister and my dad and just so excited for my future ahead. And, like, you know, I was about to go to college and all these fun and new things were happening. And, you know, I felt God so close to me, and then I was in this valley, and I felt alone. But because I thankfully Had a strong and faithful foundation before this all happened. Like when I read the sign I was like, that is so true. And I was just able to fill him even more in that time and I'm just so grateful. Um, yeah, so we were there for about 30 more minutes and then I think the town worker who like ran into us, not ran into us, like drove right next to us on our way back down from the airport who said that we were able to fly in. Um, he actually ended up going and sitting with us at the church. Um, but I didn't really know he was there cuz I was more towards the back of the church, like laying like on the floor, like on the carpet. And my dad was like in the sanctuary talking with the town worker and then the pastor's husband. So the actual pastor, I think he was just busy. So once he was done with like his work for the day, he was able to come and meet us at the church too. And yeah, the town worker and the pastor kept my dad had like a very like company, which I'm very grateful for because you know, his mind was obviously racing just as much as mine was. So I was just glad that he had these like two guys to just distract him and talk. Talk about life too. You know, we weren't really ever talking about the accident or Gina, but more just about their lives and just like more uplifting things, but kind of random. But the town worker actually lives on a cattle farm which we actually remember passing like on our way. Cuz he has longhorns so those like stick out to you more than just, just like dairy cows. But so he was telling us, telling us this and he was like, did you see my, my place? And we're like, yeah, we think we did. And he was like, I actually just had. Or we just had this cow who has been pregnant for so long and we've been waiting for her to give birth. And finally she gave birth this morning. So on August 1st. And then around the same time, this is when he heard about the news of like Gina and the accident because it's such a small town. So the word spread like that. And apparently they named the little cow that was born Gina after Gina. So. And then so he was showing me pictures and stuff too. That's so sweet. Yeah, it's super, super cute. Just one of those little things that just like bring you so much and peace in that moment. I was just grateful for, for all of them, honestly. So yes, finally it had been like two and a half. Sorry, my story is going to all over the place. My brain's all over the place. But it had been like two and a half, three hours of us sitting at the church. Church. And the pastor's wife was like, well, let's just, like, go get a change of scenery. Let's try to go eat or something. And she actually brought over watermelon to the church at some point, too. And I tried to eat a piece, because I love watermelon. Gina loved watermelon. Like, that's our thing. And I ate a piece, or I tried to. And my teeth literally felt like they were gonna fall out because I was just like. So I felt so sick for, like, a week after all this. Like, I could not, like, honestly, like, two weeks after, I just couldn't not get myself to eat anything. Understandably. But anyway, so we decided to go up to this restaurant, which was on a golf course. Um, yeah. And it was, like, up the hill, pretty close to the airport. Um, and this is when I called my other best friend, Kate. And that's the one who had that, like, breakdown reaction. And he really made it set in more, I guess. Um. Yeah. And so we got to the restaurant. I don't know if the waiters there had heard already, just because, like I said, the word was spreading so fast, or if the pastor's wife, like, said something to one of them just to kind of, like, explain. Explain why we probably were not, like, why we were so down at a restaurant. And like I said, it was a very nice day out. And I love to be outside. I love to be in the sunshine, so. Or in. In the heat. So I didn't like being in, like, the cold restaurant. So we were able to sit outside, like, on the deck, and the breeze was still going, and we were, like, under the. What, land? I don't. Yeah. Canopy. So, like, the sun wasn't on me, but it just felt. It was so nice. And once again, looking out at the view, I was just like, oh, still just so beautiful. But, yeah, I didn't eat anything. I think my dad ate one bite of whatever he ordered, and that was it. But, yeah, for the most part, we were just chatting about life or just staring out into the distance. Oh. Going back to, like, the waiters and stuff. They somehow knew because at least one of them, like, our actual waitress for our table, like, came and gave us hugs. And I don't know, that just made me feel so loved. And I think they paid for whatever food we end up getting. Um, and that also really made it sink in just of, like, now we're the family that people feel bad for and want to do good things for, which obviously I'm very grateful for. But it was just like, oh, that's us. And this is just the beginning of, of what this is all gonna, I don't know, turn out to be. But I think if I can remember correctly, one of the waiters from that restaurant has reached out to me now since the foundation has started and just saying how, like, they all prayed for us that night and continue to pray for us. So very beautiful thing. I'm very grateful for that. But. Yeah. So we finally finished our food. Our uncle was finally going to be there in like 10 minutes. I was like, let's go. And we drove up to the airport and saw him land. And I just wanted to get in that plane and go like, I was like, I want to see my mom. I want to be with mom, I want to be with my siblings. Yeah. And I knew like, a lot of my family members and friends were at my house too. And I am a very. I don't know, I'm very fulfilled by loved, obviously. So I just, I needed to, like, feel that because my dad is a very loving person. But obviously when you're experiencing something like that, you don't really have much love. Love, like reading from you in that moment. I mean, I didn't either. So I was just ready to, to get home and to just physically. Yeah. Be with people that I loved, I loved, and care about, cared about. Yeah. So we got on the plane and like I said, it was like a three hour flight. And I think we, I spoke like two words to my uncle the entire time. Like, we did not speak at all. It was crazy. I mean, it was also getting. It was dark out, so it was getting late. And so we're obviously just tired, but. And just exhausted from what we just experienced. But yeah, it was the most silent three hours of my life. And like I said, I like to talk, so I was like, oh, but I mean, I wasn't in the mood to, to be speaking either. Um, this is kind of random, but when we did, when we first took off, it was when the sun was setting and it was so beautiful. And I, like, took up my phone and started taking pictures. And then I just like, was so guilty. I was like, how are you able to sit here and, and cherish this sunset when your sister just died? And then from then on out, I was like, no, that is not how you're going to live. Like, you are still living and you are going to allow yourself to. To cherish all of the good and the joy that the Lord is still bringing you. Because, like, I deserve that. And Gina deserved everything that she got in her 18 years. And really, you know, if we live for the Lord, we deserve heaven. And, like, she's. Or she's finally getting what she truly deserves. I'm like, no, I'm. I'm not gonna live that way. Like, I am gonna take these pictures of the sunset and just sink in this. Good. And, like, especially because I was experiencing so much sadness and grief in that moment. I was so, like, no, like, you have. Your heart lightens for a second. Yeah.
- [61:44]
Interviewer
Yeah, yeah.
- [61:45]
Dinah Schaefer
So that's also when my mindset was like, nope, we're not gonna live that way. We're not gonna think that way. Um. Yes. So we finally got home to our home airport, and that's our mom. My mom and my brother Elan Lucy were waiting there for us. Um, and we just hugged and cried and prayed. Um, and then our uncle took off and went back to his house. But on our drive home, that's when I really realized, like, that a family of five looks so small because it was always a family of six. And we always talked about, you know, family with three kids. Like, that's so weird. Like, it has to be four at least. It has to be an even number. But, yeah, just, like, being in there, like, physically seeing how much smaller it felt without her, that was. That was hard. And also made it sink in a little bit more. But, yes, we finally got home to the rest of our family. G. And I have this cousin. Her name is Sydney, and she. We always call her our triplet, even though she's two years young. Two years younger, and five, nine. And we're five two, so we don't really look like triplets, except our blonde hair. But I'm just saying, like, we are us. They were super duper close. I mean, I'm so close to Sydney, obviously. And so when I got home and she was there, like, that was another person that I was just so. I don't know. I just, like, needed to hug her. So it was. I mean, good, but obviously terrible about, like, the situation we were in. But I was just grateful to. To be with her in that moment. And my aunt. Okay. I just love my family. Ok. I can just remember, like, how much lighter I felt. Like, even though my heart was still at my feet, like, I just. Somehow it felt a little bit lighter being around all of them. And I'm just so grateful. Okay. So, yes, the first few nights, you know, I barely slept. I cried, but I was still in such a shock state where I. I just didn't really. I couldn't really feel anything because she was my actual better half. Like, I'm not joking when I say that. Like, she had all the good things about me, like, in her and more. Um, but thankfully I've had zero nightmares about the accident, which, like, thinking back in my past, that is really rare. Like, I've had, you know, semi traumatic things happen to me or like, you know, sad, sad things happen to me. And I like, always nightmare or have been, have nightmares about them and they're always like, worse than what it, like, actually was. So I was really scared about that. Um, and so I was. I would always go to bed the first few nights, and I still do a lot, but just praying, like, Lord, like, help my mind to just be at peace and at ease. Like, help me to have good dreams and like, dreams about Gina. And yeah, thankfully I have not had nightmares. And like, I do not think that's just like, you know, think like, I know that's from the Lord. Like, he is genuinely protecting my. My mind as I sleep. Um, and not only have I not had nightmares, but I've had two dreams of Gina talking to me. Um, I'll kind of go through them quick. Cause I just. I don't know if they just make me so happy to think about. Yeah, so the one that I. Or the first. First one I had was the morning of her funeral. So about a week later, um, I couldn't see her, but I could, like, feel her. And I knew she was like, above me. So, like, in heaven. And I just said, hey, like, are you in heaven? And she said, yeah, I'm in heaven. I could just like, hear her joy, like, through her voice because like, I said, I couldn't hear her, but. Or see her. Did I say, here, see her? Um, and I just said like, oh, did you get to. Did you get to talk to Jesus? To Jesus? Did you get to meet him? And she was like, of course I did. And then she went on like, this whole, like, rant about it and like, the experience. And I cannot recall like, anything about it. But like I said, I just remember, like, how. How much. I don't know, you could just feel her joy, like, radiating through, like, the words she was saying. And especially, especially that being my dream. Then the morning, like, of her funeral. That brought me so much peace that day to just be able to. To go through the motions. And it gave me A lot of strength and a lot of reassurance of, like, I know where she is, so I don't need to worry about her. Obviously, I am heartbroken for all of us here on earth that have loved her and been around her. But, like, we all know that she is at peace and just fine. So that brought me a lot of peace. Um, and then this was probably, like, two months after she passed. So flash forward and then I'll go back, but I have another dream. I won't get too into details, but we're doing something with, like, all our family members and, like, so all of our cousins, all of my sis or my sister or whatever, my mom, my aunts, and Gina was, like, there, but she, like, looked like, like an angel. Like, she was, like, glowing, but she was, like, down with us. And we could, like, see her, but she was, like, invisible or, like. Like you could put your arm through her. And so, like, yeah, she wasn't. We knew she was, like, in all my dreams that I've had about her, that, like, she isn't talking. Like, it's always like, oh, Gina's dead, and that's it. But, like, in this one, I could. We could, like, all see her. I'm like, as an angel. And at one point in the dream, we were doing something really fun altogether. And Lucy, my older sister, like, looked at her and she's like, do you want to come back to earth and be here with all of us? And she was like, like, no. No, I do not. Like, I just. And that really has, like, stuck with me. Like, the. The joy that heaven has is probably bringing her right now is not even comparable to all of her favorite things and most top memories of. Of her time here on Earth. Like, I know that heaven brings so much more joy, so, like, why would she want to come back here? But, yeah, I just. That really stuck out to me. And I do remember this was also part of the same dream. I. It was just me and her at some point point, or me and the angel. It was her, though. And I just, like, looked at her and I was like, oh, my top question that I, like, want to ask as soon as I get to heaven and see her is if she could see me on the road, like, when it first happened. And so I asked her, I said, I was like, gina, could you see me when I was on the road, like, by your body? And she just said, yeah, and got, like, really sad. And, like, her head went down. And I, like, tried to ask more questions, and she was like, no. And I think, though, I mean, the Bible says that you really only experience, like, joy and happiness in heaven. I think, think, you know, if this is all true in my brain or whatever the signs that I've been given, like, I do think she did see me. And especially because I remember how I said how I, like, my mindset switched and I started praying a different prayer, like, in that moment. I think that's probably, like, when she was okay. People who have gone to heaven and back say that they're like, they can. Or they get lifted up, like, their soul and like, they're not their actual being, and then they kind of, like, get flipped around and can, like, see their physical body dead and then, like, everything around it. And then that's when they go and meet Jesus. And so. So, like, I think when my mindset was just switching is when Gina could see me. Sorry, this is probably getting so confusing. It makes sense, but. Yeah. And I think the ones that get it. Yeah. So though I believe she's experiencing so much joy and happiness in heaven, like, I do think that moment, like, still sticks with her. And so I think. I don't know, I. I just think that's probably because she did see me close.
- [68:28]
Interviewer
She. No one wants to see anybody.
- [68:30]
Dinah Schaefer
Right? Yeah. Yeah. And so I didn't ask her any more questions. Like, I just, like, left it be. And then, yeah, my dream kept going. But, yeah, so those are just little God winks, little dreams that I've had since then. So the day after the accident, so on August 2nd, we, our church put together, like, a little remembrance service already just for our community and mainly, like, people our age, like, close friends and stuff, to be able to come to our church and just share stories about her and just. Just to be together, to cry and to hug each other. And I, We. I was expecting, like, you know, a good amount of people to be there, but no, I got there. I think it started at. I don't know what time it started, but we got there like, two minutes after it started. And the parking lot of our church was just, like, full. And I was like, this isn't even the funeral. This is the day after. And, like, mainly for people just our age. And so, yeah, I got in there and it was. I'm so grateful for our church for putting that together and just. Just being able to just come together and just like. Like, obviously we were all mourning Gina and, like, the loss of her, but we also did, or a lot of people did, share, like, good and funny and uplifting stories about her. So that was just good to take my mind off of, especially just being the day after. Yeah. But then just that the week after was, you know, every. Every single day, there was all our family members there. A lot of my friends are always there at my house and Which I loved. That didn't overwhelm me at all. I love when. When people are next to me. So that was good. And yeah, just. Just a lot of. A lot of our time is spent just staring at the wall, staring at. I loved to be outside. I just, like, I have mentioned a million times I love the sun. Like, it really fills my soul. And that's why I'm not living in Minnesota the rest of my life. But, yeah, we just spent time, funeral planning, just coming together, just reminiscing, really, about Gina and her life, but just trying to, I don't know, just encourage each other to just keep going. Like, this was just the start of our grieving process and, you know, what our life is going to turn into. But yes. So. Oh. A little thing I vividly remember saying. I think it was after the funeral, I don't know, a week or two after the accident. One of my friends was at my house, and I remember looking at her and I was just like, I'm so scared for when you all aren't going to be here and to, like, be here for me physically. Like, I'm just scared to, like, be alone. And I just never thought that that would be, like, something I would be able to do just to be along. Because, like, like I said, G and I shared a room, but it was upstairs. And, well, my cousin Sydney, she did stay with me, like, for, like, a long time after, like, the weeks following. But, like, there were some nights where I had to spend alone, and, like, those were already hard. So I was, like, having to experience, like, the daytime and, like, I don't know, just like, long periods of. Of time of being alone. I was just scared. And I. She'd probably just reassured me and whatever, but I just never thought I would actually, you know, be okay being alone. But flash forward like a month. I was finally home by myself for, like, a few hours. And I didn't realize it, like, when it was first happening, but, like, an hour went by and I was. I, like, physically, like, physically, like, stepped back from whatever I was doing and I was like, like, you're alone and you're fine and you're going to be okay. And yeah, there's going to be hard moments and you're going to feel lonely, but, like, it was Just such, like, a reassurance of, like, you're going to be okay. And though Gina, you know, you did everything together, and she was your actual other and better half, like, you can still function without her. Because, yeah, Gina always talked about, like, oh, I wonder who's gonna die first? And I always, like. I was always like, oh, I'll die first, because I thought that would be better for her, like, so that she could still be experiencing life. But, like, I would never wish her to experience what I've had to experience, like, since her passing. So. But, yeah, we always talked about being, like, the oldest twins alive. That didn't happen. But, yeah, it just. It was a good. It just. I was just like, okay, you're going to be okay, even though she's not physically here. Um, yeah. So it's a little random, but yeah. Okay. Going back to, like, the week after and funeral planning. I planned, like, almost every single detail of that funeral just because Gina was my twin. I knew everything that she would want. So, like, whenever someone asked me a question, I would, like, pretend I was like her and, like, be like, hey, what would Gina want? Not, you know, what would serve me or my family the best? Like, no, what would Gina like the most? And so one part came in the. In the planning, obviously. We were trying to find a church of where to have the actual funeral. Funeral service. And we knew it needed to be a big church, so our church was out of the question. I mean, our church was pretty big, but, like, we're like, it's gonna be pretty big. Um, so. So I was thinking back, and I was like, well, Gina, we weren't Catholic. We're. We're Lutheran, technically. Our dad was Catholic, though, and we've been to, like, Catholic churches and services and stuff. And every time we've been to one, Gina always just, like, talked about how beautiful the churches were and just, like, how she just loved, like, I don't know, just, like, the Catholic faith. And so I was like, well, Catholic churches are huge, especially the ones near us, so we could do it at a Catholic church. And I said this in a room with, like, all. A lot of my aunts and uncles and my parents and my siblings, and they were all like, well, yeah, but you're not gonna be able to have your, like, Lutheran service at a Catholic church. And I just. I remember looking at them, and I was like, hmm, okay, let's not worry about that right now. Let's just ask, because I know the Lord will work all things out. And guess what? We ended up having it at that Catholic church that I wanted to be at in the. From the start. So everything did work out. Just another example of how Lord really does work all things for good. And I just, like, reassured my family, like, we do not need to be worrying about these things. Like, we'll ask and, yeah, if that's the case, if we can't have our service, we'll figure it out. But for now, let's assume that that's gonna happen. And I'm glad that that did happen. Um, so, yes, funeral planning, that was. It was really healing for me to be able to, like, put that together. Um, I'm not taking all the credit. My family and a lot of friends and people from our town played a huge part in planning too, and, like, the actual day of too. So I'm very grateful for all those people. But, yeah, I was just very grateful. Grateful to be able to just, like, sit down and just. I don't know. She didn't get to get married. She didn't get to plan, you know, the best day of her life, like, her wedding or whatever, welcoming her first kid into the world. So I was like. Because she doesn't get to have that. I want her funeral to be, like, the most beautiful thing ever. And if you knew Gina on a personal level, like, she was just the most uplifting person ever. So I was like, I don't. Like, we're wearing green and blue. We're wearing her favorite colors. We are not wearing black. Like, if someone comes in wearing black. No, I'm just kidding. But no, like, I said it from the start to everybody, like, my pastor and stuff. Like, keep the message very uplifting and just, like, really showcase and honor, like, who Gina was and, like, how. I don't know, just her outlook on life and stuff. So we really stuck to that. And, yeah, so the funeral came. It was. It was a. It was a good day. It was obviously exhausting, but like I said, it was as beautiful as a funeral could be. Everyone was leaving and saying how it's the most encouraging funeral they've ever been to, and they mean it. And. And if you want to hear what I'm talking about, you can search up Gina Shaffer Funeral on YouTube. G I n A H S C H A F F E R on YouTube and just watch the funeral, because it really does. We've heard that it's truly inspired people and to. To. To grow in their faith because of the way Gina lived. That's how we all need to live, because we aren't Guaranteed to just go to heaven when we die. Like, you have to work your way there. And Gina did. And that funeral really showcases, like, how she lived. So I really encourage you all to watch it. I had a ulg that I said and then. Or that I had said talked, I don't know. And then my dad also had a eulogy. And then I'm Gina's best friend, Paulie, which Paulie is also Wyatt, Gina's boyfriend's sister. Yeah, so we all had eulogies. They were all a little different, but just explaining, you know, who Gina was, our relationship with her, and just, you know, what she did in our lives and stuff. Stuff. And then also, so the church we had at the Catholic church, they had peacocks on the altar and on the wall. And Gina's favorite animal, since she could speak, was a peacock. And, like, I've had a whole bunch of different favorite animals in my life. But, like, she was always very consistent. Like, peacocks are my favorite animal. Okay, well, very cool. Cuz, I mean, after she died, it got brought to our awareness that peacocks represent everlasting life for eternal life. And so I'm like, wow, that really correlates that. And they're just a very beautiful animal. But, yeah, like I just said, the peacock. There were peacocks on the altar at the church and, like, on the back wall, like, what church just has peacocks? It was just so, so odd. But, yeah, another little godwink. It was just so beautiful. So, yes, that's basically the gist of, like, the funeral. But I really do encourage, if you're feeling inspired by our story at all, to look up her funeral, because I will link any.
- [77:16]
Interviewer
I'll link that, and I'll link anything else that you want to so that people can.
- [77:19]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah, that'd be great. Now I'm just kind of explaining me now and, like, my life and, like, my plan. Gina's accident happened on August 1st, and then we were both planning to go to school just, like, the end of August. So it was only like two or three weeks before I was supposed to head off to college. And just in that moment, I wasn't prepared in, like, all the ways, mentally, physically. Like, I was just like, no, like that. Just. I don't think that is what I'm being called to do right now. Now, like, I could have gone this spring semester in 2025, but I just. I don't think that would serve me. Um, I was only going for business and marketing, which I just already have, like, a very business and marketing, like, Orient. So I'm like, if I was going to be a nurse or an engineer or whatever, yes, obviously I would go to school. But like right now I just don't feel called to not waste, but kind of waste my time, money, energy on going to college. Um, so I've kind of just shifted my focus on other things and kind of switched around like my dreams and stuff of, you know, when something like this happens, you really like real reevaluate your life and like, and education will always be there.
- [78:21]
Interviewer
Right? You can always.
- [78:22]
Dinah Schaefer
I can always go back. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I'm like in the middle of all these things right now and I'm like, I'm not going to stop it to go right. Study a business class.
- [78:29]
Interviewer
You gotta listen to yourself and what you know.
- [78:32]
Dinah Schaefer
So yes, when, when it first happened, the only reason I didn't go was because I just was not ready. And I, I could be or I am ready, it's just not. I don't feel like that would serve me at this, at this time in my life. So then one of like the things I've started since June's past is the Live like Gina Foundation. And I started that not even a month after she died. And I think that's just because I was just like. And once again, if you knew her, she was just such an uplifting, beautiful like faithful person where like if she wasn't able to or now that she's not able to physically impact like all of these people, like in the future, you know, what we had planned for her or what she had planned for herself. Like I want to be the one to do that. Like, just because she's gone doesn't mean like her legacy has to be gone. And like as her twin, I felt like a very heavy calling to, to do that and to just share who she was with with people. So at first it kind of just started like in our community we had some sports, um, sports nights like at our high school, like that were Live like Gina themed. Um, so we sold merch and all that, which all of the profits from merch go back into her foundation. But yeah, those are really beautiful nights. I was able to like speak and just kind of share my story. Um, because our small, it's like medium sized sound. So like people know stuff it. The word spreads. But not everybody knows, you know, me and especially like my story. So it was really cool to be able to, to have those nights in honor of her and to just share share our story. But yes, and then see at that point I Just had, like, the Live Like Gina Instagram and was just kind of posting on there. I didn't really have, like, a main point yet, but I was just trying to. Trying to just keep her name out there. And then I don't know when. A few. A couple months after, I was able to create the Live Like Gina website, which is livelike gina.org and our mission is to. To honor the beautiful and faithful life that Gina Lillian Chafer lived. By doing this, we hope to encourage others to live like her. Be kind, helpful, and loving. Make this world a better place by making yourself a better person and prepare yourself for eternity in heaven. So that's like, the gist of our foundation and why it's a thing up and running. But yes, so like I said, we do sell merch. And then obviously, just like, when donations come in, all the funds go to individuals, families, organizations that embody the Geno way of life. We strive. We strive to spread love and kindness through financial gifts and, like, serve projects. So, yeah, we've given. We've given just like, checks to families organizations and stuff, but we've also done a few serve projects, and we'll continue to that in the future. Um, so, yeah, that's like, a little more just as, like, the website and just more about the foundation. But yeah, for me now, like, personally, my goal is to just honor Gina with all that I do while glorifying the Lord with everything I do. Which obviously I've always wanted to glorify the Lord with my life and all the things I've done. But I don't know, like I said, just after experiencing something like this, it really just helped me think about, okay, what. What was I put on this earth for? Like, what do I want to. Or what does the Lord want me to do? And so now my goal is to do that. Um, yeah, I just want to share our story in hopes of encouraging other people going through similar things. Um, I want to raise awareness of feeling joy and sorrow at the same time. Cause I feel like that's not talked about. It's either like, you're grieving or you're not. And no, like, they very much so coexist. Um, and honestly, it's important that you allow them to coexist, because some people are like, nope, I'm grieving. That's it. And like, no, you need to allow the. The joy to.
- [81:54]
Interviewer
And like you said to not to feel guilty right. When you find those joyful moments.
- [81:59]
Dinah Schaefer
Because I know not everyone has this. This mindset that I'm Very grateful to have. So I. I want to just share that with people. Yeah. It's very important to allow yourself to. Because some people will, like, experience joy and they'll be like. They'll just ignore it. Right. I don't deserve that. You do deserve that. You deserve that.
- [82:13]
Interviewer
Yeah. I mean, how else are you going to get through it?
- [82:15]
Dinah Schaefer
Right. Right. And they. Your loved one would want you to.
- [82:17]
Interviewer
Absolutely.
- [82:19]
Dinah Schaefer
So one way that I have been able to, like, really cherish my joys is to start a joy journal. I share about this a lot on Gina's foundation, but I'll just kind of give a rundown of what it is in case any of these people listening want to. To start one of their own. But either find, buy a journal or, like a daily planner. And then every single night, just. It just kind of. You take time to reflect. Write down at least one joy that you experienced during the day. It can be so small, so simple. Or it's like, some days I'm just writing and writing and writing because the Lord blessed me with so many joys that day. But especially when you're, like, facing a storm, it's so important to once again go back and be like, thank you, Jesus, for what you gave me. Um, so a joy journal is a really good way to do that. So I encourage you to do that. If you're a person who struggles to experience joy and are in, like, some sort of storm, whatever that may be.
- [83:06]
Interviewer
It'S important, too, to end the day on a positive note, right?
- [83:09]
Dinah Schaefer
Yes. Then you go to bed thinking about all the good.
- [83:11]
Interviewer
Exactly.
- [83:11]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah. Because even if, like, the bad during that day felt bigger, the joyous, still more important, it gives you, it serves you more. So it's good to think about that as you're going to bed versus all that, obviously. Yes. Yeah. That sign that I read in that church the day of, that said, the Lord is the same on the mountain, says he is in the valleys, or in the valleys of the Whatever. Whatever I said earlier. Yeah. Like, though earthly things happen, worldly things happen, and we get thrown into these valleys, sometimes the Lord doesn't want us to sit there forever. Like, it is not your job to sit in your grief and in your sadness forever. Though it's not wrong or bad to sit in your grief and your frustration, your sadness, to obviously process those emotions, it is wrong to make. Force yourself to sit in them forever. So I just really encourage you. It's like, it's rude to yourself. Like, you're still alive, and I think you're still alive.
- [84:02]
Interviewer
Unfortunately, if people don't have faith.
- [84:04]
Dinah Schaefer
Yep.
- [84:05]
Interviewer
They are too stuck on the physical.
- [84:08]
Dinah Schaefer
Right.
- [84:09]
Interviewer
Rather than the soul.
- [84:10]
Dinah Schaefer
And I'm not trying to spread this at all, but if you're not faithful, like even just knowing that like their spirit is still here.
- [84:16]
Interviewer
So absolutely.
- [84:17]
Dinah Schaefer
Don't, don't. Like when we left Gina's physical body. I don't know if I said this but like. Or like when we saw her like in her casket or whatever, like when we were leaving her for the last time, like I was like, that's not Gina.
- [84:29]
Interviewer
Right.
- [84:29]
Dinah Schaefer
Like it's not like, yeah, obviously they don't get to be with you physically on the day to day. But like they are still there, they are still here. They're. If anything they're closer, which is like so cool.
- [84:37]
Interviewer
And they're at. In a better place. It's a very cliche thing to say, but it's true.
- [84:43]
Dinah Schaefer
Cu.
- [84:43]
Interviewer
There is so much y.
- [84:44]
Dinah Schaefer
Some people when they're grieving are like losing someone. They hate to hear that. But no, like I love when people say that.
- [84:49]
Interviewer
It is very true in this world. And that's what she would say.
- [84:52]
Dinah Schaefer
And though I want her here, I'm so. She deserves to be where she is. So why would I sit here and be sad right about. Yeah. Yep. Yes. You get it. I'm glad you get it. But yes. Okay. Um. Yeah. What really keeps me going, which is kind of ties in with like the whole finding joy, is that I make sure I'm a happy person with sad moments, not the other way around. Okay. I'm not a sad person who experiences some little things like no, don't allow the bad to control you as a whole. Because I even consider the day of the accident a good day if I think about it. Cuz more of the hours in the day was good than bad. And so yeah, I just really let myself like I let the joy really sink in and overtake me. Even if I had three hours of really like a really tough time or whatever happened during that date. Like I just let the little things overtake me. Um. Cuz why wouldn't you? Like honestly at the end of the day, um, and then I do just want to shed some light on this. Um, like I've mentioned I have, I have social medias for like all the like Gina foundations. Um, and you know, I've gotten a lot of comments and you know, people commenting like on like the storytime video and stuff, they're like, oh, she's smiling. She doesn't actually care. She's not affected by this. Like, oh, you actually didn't see me crawled up in a ball last Thursday bawling and praying for understanding during my situation. And so it is talked about but like not enough. But really, I just, it really frustrates me when people on the Internet try to make assumptions off of a three minute video because yeah, I am devastated and I miss my sister literally every second of the day. But like we've been talking about, I'm not going to. To let myself just sit in the sadness because that's not fair to myself. Um, and so yeah, when I'm on social media, I'm gonna try to like share this light and this like outlook I have on it. And that doesn't mean that like I'm not trying to fake it and not say that I'm not never sad. Like I am very open on the social medias and stuff. Like last week I did post about how I had a rough week and just kind of explain like how I went about it. But I'm just saying do not.
- [86:55]
Interviewer
Let me tell you this.
- [86:56]
Dinah Schaefer
Okay.
- [86:58]
Interviewer
First of all, two things. One, there are so many miserable people.
- [87:04]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah.
- [87:04]
Interviewer
That no matter how you react or what you say, you could be the most perfect person and they'll still find something.
- [87:10]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah.
- [87:11]
Interviewer
That's number one. Number two, it is so amazing to be able to at any point in your healing journey, to be able to sit there and be so positive and so bright and so happy. You are literally like a light of just bubbly happiness. And I rather watch that, watch somebody talk about their experience like that than somebody that's just still like so sad. Which like that. That's normal too.
- [87:38]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah. It's not wrong.
- [87:39]
Interviewer
But you're the farthest thing from wrong for having your. The way that you handle and go about speaking about your journey. And I just feel like people will find anything.
- [87:49]
Dinah Schaefer
Yep.
- [87:49]
Interviewer
And never ever, ever. Which, you know, obviously. But don't ever let that get to you because that is just. They have no idea.
- [87:56]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah.
- [87:56]
Interviewer
And to like I said, to be able to, to sit here and you know, sit on your own platform and share your story that soon after and be able to see so much positive.
- [88:08]
Dinah Schaefer
Right.
- [88:09]
Interviewer
That is so uplifting and that should give so many people faith and encouragement because people lose people every day.
- [88:17]
Dinah Schaefer
Yep.
- [88:17]
Interviewer
And even on the flip side of the people that you said that they, they maybe didn't know her personally, but maybe they knew her through school or whatever else.
- [88:25]
Dinah Schaefer
Else.
- [88:26]
Interviewer
It's very traumatic and scary to be so young and lose someone so young. Even if you aren't close with them, because it kind of puts into perspective how fragile life is. Yeah. And.
- [88:37]
Dinah Schaefer
And you can't waste a second. You cannot prepare yourself for heaven.
- [88:39]
Interviewer
And I think that you are such a clear example of that. And you really have done your best to reflect on who your sister was.
- [88:48]
Dinah Schaefer
Thank you.
- [88:49]
Interviewer
And you do such a great job of that.
- [88:50]
Dinah Schaefer
Thank you.
- [88:51]
Interviewer
So if anybody says anything.
- [88:53]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah. Yeah. The first few days, it was really not the first day when it like blowing up. I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, maybe they're right.
- [89:00]
Interviewer
Unfortunately, that that is the downside of social media. It can be so good.
- [89:04]
Dinah Schaefer
But that's. Yeah. And it is so beautiful.
- [89:05]
Interviewer
There's good and evil and like, you know. But don't ever let that take away from.
- [89:09]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah. No, no, no, no. You don't know me. You're not bringing me down. You're not. Yeah. And. But, you know, on the flip side, there are. There's this community that I'm building, especially on TikTok, which we'll see if this is posted, if this is. If it's banned, whatever. It's just social media at the end of the day. But like, there are so many beautiful comments when I scroll through. You really brought faith back into my life. And just. Just not even a therapyful person, but just saying how it inspired them and just really helped them in their. Yeah.
- [89:38]
Interviewer
So if we had more of that, more people like you and like your sister.
- [89:43]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah.
- [89:44]
Interviewer
The world would be a better place.
- [89:45]
Dinah Schaefer
Amen. Yes. Yeah. So, yes. If you're once again interested at all to follow along on our story. My story. We're on all social media, so Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok, and then there's the website and the social media is at. Live like Gina. Live like Gina. Hopefully they got that. Yeah.
- [90:02]
Interviewer
I'm going to post all of it down there. Otherwise, live like, make sure you. I'll remind you if you forget. But just anything you want, send them and I'll make sure it's in the description.
- [90:10]
Dinah Schaefer
Perfect. Sounds good. Otherwise, Live Like Gina.org is the website too. And then. Yes. So my kind of dream and goal now is to just go travel everywhere and anywhere to share my story, to share our story. And just this outlook that I have on grief because not a lot of people have it and I'm very blessed that I do, but I want to share it with others. I'm not going to be gatekeeping this mindset that I have. Like, I want to. I want everyone to be able to experience this. So if you have a small group, a church, a school, family, a podcast even that you think would positively be affected. To hear my story, go to livelike gina.org find the contact page and then there you can email me directly and then I can get in contact. Contact you. Contact with you to discuss plans and whatever. But yeah, I would just love to do that. I will travel near and far. Preferably where this chair is, right? Yeah, preferably like down south. No, really, wherever. Yeah. So that's kind of oh my. My goal, my dreams right now. And then I'm also currently in the process of writing two books.
- [91:14]
Interviewer
Oh, amazing.
- [91:15]
Dinah Schaefer
I mean, I don't know when they're going to be published or anything. That's great. I'm like, it's only. It's been less than six months, Diana. So I'm like, okay, wait, gotta come back. But no, keep going. Well, yeah, yeah, that's pretty. I'm just saying I'm like, why have. Why isn't it published yet? And I'm like, well girl, right? You're so busy. But yeah, so one is just like about our story about like our childhood. I dive a little bit more into like our childhood and who like my family is and then the story, I go into details. It's gonna be a short book, it's like four chapters. I think in like the long run I'll have. I'll write a more. An even more detailed book and whatever. And then my second book that I'm writing, writing now, writing right now is a 30 day devotional. Um, and it's all about focused about finding joy in your grief. And so yeah, this one's very targeted towards people who have, who have lost someone. But once again in the future I do hope to write more, but another book just about finding joy in like life too. Not just grief. Cuz I know not everyone faces a storm this heavy or even just like losing anybody until like way later in life. So I, Yeah, I don't know, I just. I've always been like I said, a happy person with sad moments and not a lot of people think that way or are that way. So I want to shed light on that and to be able to like put it into words on how you can, how you can do that. And then like I mentioned before, G and I led worship at our church. So singing has always been a huge part of my life. Gina and I have like recorded songs in the past together, which I'm very grateful to have. But music has really like. I mean I've always had A huge love and passion for it, but it's just, like, grown since she's got been gone. And so I've written some originals, like, about Gina and the. Just kind of just like, my mindset and stuff. But then I also recorded just some, like, covers and stuff too, with songs that have really resonated with me. Those also haven't been released yet because I, you know, it's been so soon, but in the future they will. So if you're interested in any of, like, my music or writing or anything, my account on Instagram is Dinah Lillian music on Instagram and TikTok. Yeah. Dinah Lillian music. So, yeah, I'm not sure when all those will actually be released. It could be in a long time. It could be in a month. I don't know. Um, but stick along. Cause I. It'll be there. It's gonna happen. It's just men. Um, yeah. And then just one more thing to kind of send everybody with is the only. This really resonated with me, like, right after she died. But the only future your loved one or loved ones got robbed from is the one that you or that they made for themselves. Because the Lord had this plan all along. We just didn't know it was gonna happen yet. And it's right. Even if we. We don't want it to be. We don't. I didn't want Gina to die. 18. But I know that that was his plan all along. And, like, I'm grateful now that I can understand that. I pray that the rest of my future becomes more evident to me because I'm just trying to go through the flows of life. But, yeah, just know that we always make all these plans for ourselves, which is fine and normal. Like, we're supposed to make goals and dreams, like I am doing right now for ourselves. But just know, like, in the end, the Lord's plan is final and it's right. And so really allow that to. To bring you peace and calm confidence. Because even though we face storms, like they're meant to happen and they're meant to make us stronger. So, yes, just trust him with your whole heart. And it does get easier if you allow it to. I remember, like, the first day after I was like, oh, my gosh, am I going to feel like this forever? And now it's not even been six months yet, and I already feel like I may well just talk about it. Um, and I don't want to say it gets easier because it doesn't get easier to, like, think about, but you just get stronger as a person and just like, I don't know. Just the way you. I don't know. But once again, that is how you decide how. How to handle it, how to grieve.
- [94:49]
Interviewer
I think it's healthy, too, to be able to talk about it, and I think it is a huge part of healing.
- [94:55]
Dinah Schaefer
Yep.
- [94:55]
Interviewer
The more you talk about it, I think like you said, the stronger you get y and the more you can reflect. I'm sure every time you talk about it, you can remember more good memories, reflect back on. Like you said, more positive than. Than negative. I mean, you sitting here this whole time has been all positive, positive. You know, it's like. And obviously it's a very traumatic experience. Experience and story. And you wouldn't wish it on anybody. But like I said before, it really does go to show how you can take something and just make the absolute best out of it.
- [95:28]
Dinah Schaefer
Right? Yeah. So.
- [95:30]
Interviewer
Well, you did amazing.
- [95:31]
Dinah Schaefer
Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
- [95:33]
Interviewer
I'm so glad that you wanted to come on here and share your story. Like I said, I'll put everything down below. And thank you. Seriously. Was there anything else you for letting.
- [95:41]
Dinah Schaefer
Me come on here, and I'm so glad that you have, like, this platform to be able to share this.
- [95:44]
Interviewer
Seriously, I appreciate it so much.
- [95:46]
Dinah Schaefer
Yeah, really.