Podcast Summary: "My Dad was Killed by the Cartel"

Podcast Information:

• Title: We're All Insane
• Host/Author: Devorah Roloff
• Episode Title: My Dad was Killed by the Cartel
• Release Date: May 4, 2025
• Description: In this deeply personal episode, Rosa shares her harrowing journey through a tumultuous childhood, the abusive relationship between her parents, her father's involvement with the cartel, and the profound impact of his brutal murder. This episode delves into themes of trauma, grief, and resilience, offering listeners an unfiltered glimpse into Rosa’s life.

Early Life and Family Dynamics

Rosa begins her story by introducing her familial background. Growing up in a southern town as an only child, she describes her parents' relationship as far from ideal. Her father, an illegal immigrant from Mexico, had a tumultuous relationship with her mother characterized by mental, physical, and emotional abuse directed solely at her mother.

Notable Quote:

• "[02:45] Rosa: My dad was a very abusive man. Mentally, physically, emotionally, all of the above. Like, to you and your mom."

Rosa recounts that her parents met around 1999, and shortly after, Rosa was born. Their marriage was short-lived, ending in divorce when Rosa was five years old. Despite the divorce, her father remained intermittently present in her life, largely due to his struggles with the law.

Father’s Legal Troubles and Involvement with the Cartel

Rosa details her father's repeated incarcerations for drug-related offenses, including an attempted murder charge stemming from a bar fight where he stabbed another individual multiple times.

Notable Quote:

• "[04:12] Rosa: He went to jail for attempted murder. My mom and my dad were at a bar one night, and they got into a fight. He stabbed this guy multiple times." [04:12]

His illegal status prevented him from gaining citizenship, and following his prison sentences, he faced deportation to Mexico. In Mexico, Rosa’s father became entangled with the cartel, which Rosa believes led to his eventual demise.

Impact on Rosa and Her Sibling

Rosa shares that she has an older brother who now resides in Canada. Her father's inconsistent presence, oscillating between jail and brief periods of interaction, created an unstable family environment. After the divorce, Rosa primarily lived with her mother and had limited contact with her father, who adored her despite his abusive behavior towards her mother.

Abuse by Rachel and Estrangement from Her Father

During her formative years, Rosa was exposed to further abuse through Rachel, a woman her father became involved with. Rachel, along with her daughter Eloise, subjected Rosa to emotional and physical abuse, including forcing her to smoke cigarettes and burning her skin as punishment.

Notable Quote:

• "[08:15] Rosa: Rachel was a cigarette. She would force me to smoke cigarettes, and if I refused, she'd burn me with them." [08:15]

This period marked a significant turning point, leading to Rosa and her mother's decision to sever ties with Rachel and minimize her father's involvement in Rosa's life.

Father's Deportation and Subsequent Life Events

At around nine years old, Rosa recalls her father being deported back to Mexico to serve a 12-year sentence for drug-related offenses. During his time in Mexico, he fathered twin sisters and two more children. However, his criminal activities continued, culminating in a second attempt at murder involving a semi-truck driver carrying dog food—a motive Rosa finds perplexing.

Notable Quote:

• "[15:27] Rosa: He tried to kill a semi-truck driver for dog food. It still doesn't make sense to me why." [15:27]

The Murder of Rosa’s Father

On August 2, 2022, Rosa's father was brutally murdered by the cartel. He was kidnapped, tortured, and decapitated, with his body dismembered into six pieces. The cartel's motive remains unclear to Rosa, though she suspects it was tied to his dealings with them.

Notable Quote:

• "[16:07] Rosa: My dad was kidnapped, tortured, and brutally murdered by the cartel. They decapitated him and dismembered his body." [16:07]

Rosa was the last to learn of her father's death, receiving the devastating news directly from her mother. The revelation was compounded by the absence of immediate evidence, as the cartel did not provide video footage of the murder, which is atypical for their modus operandi.

Grieving Process and Coping Mechanisms

The murder deeply affected Rosa, leading her to grapple with complex emotions ranging from anger and fear to profound sadness. She recounts her struggle to process the loss, exacerbated by her father's absence and her own history of trauma.

Notable Quote:

• "[26:37] Rosa: I need to find ways to grieve my father and cope with his death instead of blocking it out." [26:37]

Rosa engaged in various coping strategies, including placing her father’s name on a murder victims list during Murder Victims Awareness Month and seeking therapy. However, she felt that mainstream therapy lacked adequate resources for dealing with such unique grief tied to cartel violence.

Encounters with the Cartel Post-Father's Death

Following her father's assassination, Rosa experienced unsettling encounters that suggested the cartel might still be surveilling or threatening her. She received threatening messages via Snapchat, featuring gruesome videos of decapitations, which reignited her fears and trauma.

Notable Quote:

• "[66:18] Rosa: I received messages with videos of decapitations after adding a random Snapchat account." [66:18]

These incidents intensified Rosa's fear of cartel retaliation and reinforced her belief in the cartel’s pervasive and intimidating presence.

Reflection and Moving Forward

Towards the end of the episode, Rosa reflects on her healing journey. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and grieving her loss, despite the unconventional and violent nature of her father’s death. Rosa advocates for greater awareness and resources for individuals grieving in similar circumstances, noting the scarcity of support systems tailored to violence-induced grief.

Notable Quote:

• "[75:33] Rosa: Never think that it can't happen to you because it can and it will." [75:33]

Rosa concludes by sharing her mission to raise awareness about cartel-related deaths and to support others navigating similar grief, underscoring the universal right to mourn and heal, regardless of the circumstances.

Conclusion

"My Dad was Killed by the Cartel" is a poignant episode that highlights the intersection of personal trauma and broader societal issues such as immigration, criminal justice, and cartel violence. Rosa’s candid storytelling provides listeners with an intimate understanding of the long-term effects of familial abuse, loss, and the struggle to find healing amidst chaos. Her narrative serves as both a testament to personal resilience and a call for enhanced support for those affected by similar tragedies.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "[02:45] Rosa: My dad was a very abusive man. Mentally, physically, emotionally, all of the above. Like, to you and your mom."
• "[04:12] Rosa: He went to jail for attempted murder. My mom and my dad were at a bar one night, and they got into a fight. He stabbed this guy multiple times."
• "[08:15] Rosa: Rachel was a cigarette. She would force me to smoke cigarettes, and if I refused, she'd burn me with them."
• "[15:27] Rosa: He tried to kill a semi-truck driver for dog food. It still doesn't make sense to me why."
• "[16:07] Rosa: My dad was kidnapped, tortured, and brutally murdered by the cartel. They decapitated him and dismembered his body."
• "[26:37] Rosa: I need to find ways to grieve my father and cope with his death instead of blocking it out."
• "[66:18] Rosa: I received messages with videos of decapitations after adding a random Snapchat account."
• "[75:33] Rosa: Never think that it can't happen to you because it can and it will."

Final Thoughts:

Rosa's story is a powerful reminder of the hidden struggles many endure and the importance of creating spaces where such narratives can be shared and validated. "We're All Insane" continues to provide a platform for authentic storytelling, shedding light on the often-overlooked aspects of personal and collective mental health.