133: Never Leave a Chicken Unattended with Steve Berg and Arden Myrin

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" Episode 133 - "Never Leave a Chicken Unattended with Steve Berg and Arden Myrin"

Release Date: November 21, 2024
Hosts: Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds
Guests: Steve Berg and Arden Myrin

---

Introduction and Episode Setup ([01:24] - [07:34])

The episode kicks off with Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds rejoining listeners after a brief hiatus, setting a lighthearted and humorous tone. They express excitement about tackling two caller questions and a follow-up, hinting at engaging and relatable discussions ahead.

Jake Johnson:
"And I think this episode's gonna be fun. Gareth."
[01:28]

Gareth Reynolds:
"Why is that, Jake? I'll tell you specifics. Just whenever you're ready."
[01:31]

The hosts delve into anecdotes about their past projects, including Gareth’s experience with the San Francisco Giants and previous first pitch events, showcasing their camaraderie and storytelling prowess.

---

First Call: Bridget’s School Bus Dilemma ([07:45] - [30:30])

Caller: Bridget, a 39-year-old real estate agent and part-time school bus driver from Metro Detroit, reaches out seeking advice on managing high school students’ behavior on her bus.

Bridget's Issue:
Bridget excels in managing elementary students but struggles with high schoolers who exhibit disrespectful behavior, including swearing and walking around the aisle during her driving duties.

Discussion and Advice:

1. Establishing Authority Without Being Overbearing:

   • Gareth Reynolds:
     "I think there's two ways to attack this. One is to incentivize and the other might just be to appear cool. Can you decorate your bus at all? Is that allowed?"
     [13:16]

   • Jake Johnson:
     "If you're trying to get high school boys to show you respect, you need to establish clear rules without trying too hard to be liked. High schoolers seek respect differently than younger kids."
     [14:08]

2. Implementing Incentives:

   • Gareth Reynolds:
     "Maybe offer something like allowing high schoolers to control the music on Fridays as a reward for good behavior throughout the week."
     [16:21]

   • Jake Johnson:
     "Avoid over-pandering with decorations or candies for older students, as these tactics are more effective with younger children."
     [17:04]

3. Introducing Authority Figures:

   • The idea of bringing in a liaison officer, "Officer Jim," to enforce rules is proposed.
   • Jake Johnson:
     "If you have a cop on the bus, initially, boys might react negatively, but over time, fear of repercussions can lead to better behavior."
     [25:22]

Notable Quotes:

• Bridget:
  "I want to be respected by these kids. I want them to say, 'No problem, Ms. Bridget. You're so cool.'"
  [10:09]

• Jake Johnson:
  "Teenage boys are never going to like you, but they can respect you if you set clear boundaries."
  [14:55]

Outcome:
Bridget decides to implement the hosts' advice by incorporating both authority measures and incentives, such as a designated music control day for compliant students, aiming to balance respect with approachability.

---

Steve’s Chicken Mishap ([09:23] - [17:37])

Throughout Bridget’s call, Steve Berg humorously interjects about his ongoing issue with an over-oiled rotisserie chicken that set off his smoke detector.

Steve Berg:
"Never leave a chicken unattended is what I just learned."
[17:37]

This lighthearted interruption adds comedic relief and emphasizes the podcast's informal and friendly atmosphere.

---

Second Call: Drew the Donut King ([36:18] - [56:57])

Caller: Jordan, also known as Drew, from Bloomington, Indiana, follows up on a previous call regarding issues with his father-in-law mishandling the remote control during football games.

Drew's Issue:
Jordan's father-in-law, Charlie, frequently pauses and mismanages the remote, causing prolonged game-watching sessions and disrupting Jordan’s ability to interact with friends online.

Guest Appearance:
Arden Myrin joins as "Charlie," roleplaying the disruptive father-in-law to explore solutions interactively.

Discussion and Advice:

1. Establishing Boundaries and Communication:

   • Gareth Reynolds:
     "Ask him to refrain from pausing the game unless absolutely necessary, emphasizing the importance of uninterrupted viewing for social interactions."
     [40:59]

2. Technical Solutions:

   • Kevin Bartelt:
     "Consider using a second remote or a device that allows you to control the TV independently."
     [42:50]

   • Gareth Reynolds:
     "Programmable remotes can help mitigate Charlie’s interference by customizing button functions."
     [44:37]

3. Psychological Tactics:

   • Jake Johnson:
     "Use a bit of deception by blaming remote malfunctions or pretend to schedule outings, creating time constraints for Charlie to minimize remote misuse."
     [45:30]

4. Humorous Interventions:

   • Integrating humor, such as planning to "fight" at Pep Boys, lightens the conversation and fosters a more relaxed approach to resolving the issue.

Notable Quotes:

• Jordan/Drew:
  "I can't text my buddies while we're watching the game, which is a crucial part of it."
  [39:09]

• Arden Myrin as Charlie:
  "I play the part of your father-in-law and admit, I'm terrible with the remote."
  [38:50]

• Gareth Reynolds:
  "Blaming technology is a clever way to address the issue without direct confrontation."
  [42:34]

Outcome:
Jordan decides to implement a combination of technical adjustments and communication strategies, such as using a programmable remote and establishing clear viewing guidelines, to improve his game-watching experience without ongoing disruptions.

---

Conclusion ([56:57] - [57:47])

The hosts wrap up the episode by acknowledging the success of their advice and encouraging listeners to follow up with their experiences.

Jake Johnson:
"Please follow up with us when you find out what's happening with the cop. This could be really interesting."
[30:23]

Gareth Reynolds:
"Keep us posted. I'd like to know every development."
[30:25]

Final Remarks:
The episode emphasizes the importance of balancing authority with approachability and leveraging both technical and psychological strategies to resolve interpersonal conflicts.

---

Key Takeaways

1. Authority and Respect: Building respect with teenagers requires clear boundaries rather than attempting to be overly friendly or permissive.
2. Incentivization: Rewarding good behavior with privileges can effectively encourage compliance without exerting excessive control.
3. Technical Solutions: Utilizing programmable remotes or additional devices can help manage disruptive behaviors remotely.
4. Communication Strategies: Open dialogue and setting mutual expectations are crucial in maintaining harmonious relationships.
5. Humor and Relatability: Incorporating humor and relatable anecdotes can make advice more engaging and memorable.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jake Johnson:
  "Teenage boys are never going to like you, but they can respect you if you set clear boundaries."
  [14:55]

• Bridget:
  "I want to be respected by these kids. I want them to say, 'No problem, Ms. Bridget. You're so cool.'"
  [10:09]

• Gareth Reynolds:
  "Blaming technology is a clever way to address the issue without direct confrontation."
  [42:34]

• Steve Berg:
  "Never leave a chicken unattended is what I just learned."
  [17:37]

---

This episode of "We're Here to Help" offers practical and humorous solutions to everyday challenges, blending insightful advice with the hosts' trademark humor. Whether dealing with unruly teenagers or technologically challenged relatives, Jake and Gareth provide relatable strategies to navigate complex social dynamics.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

With the five dollar meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary.

[Kevin Bartelt]

For a limited time only.

[Arden Marine]

There's more to imagine when you listen, so let your imagination soar with Audible. Audible has audio titles from every genre that will inspire you to imagine new worlds, possibilities and ways of thinking. As an Audible member, you get to choose one title a month to keep from their entire, entire catalog. Enjoy an exciting reawakening of a beloved classic with the Audible original. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. Produced by Academy Award winning director, Sam Mendes. Starring Shudi Gatwa, Helena Bonham Carter and Theo James, this adaptation breathes new life into a familiar tale. New members can try audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.comimagine or text imagine to 500. 500. That's audible.comimagine or text IMAGINE to 500. 500.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we are back.

[Jake Johnson]

And I think this episode's gonna be fun. Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why is that, Jake? I'll tell you specifics. Just whenever you're ready.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll tell you why. Because we got two calls and a follow up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if? Was that right? You're married.

[Jake Johnson]

At least I said it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kevin has no choice. You know what? I'm starting to set up our national anthem. People who are gonna help me with the national anthem. Yes, because the San Francisco Giants reached out and they said if I go, I can sing the national anthem at a Giants game.

[Steve]

Holy.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you mean if? You get it right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

If I'm not an embarrassment when singing the national anthem.

[Jake Johnson]

And so would they test it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I believe there will be a submission.

[Jake Johnson]

Because you can't. Yeah, that makes sense. Because you can't make it. That thing can't be a joke. Like you can do a first pitch as a joke. You can do the seventh inning as a joke. Roseanne Barr taught us that you can't do the national anthem as a joke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, people take it seriously and I.

[Jake Johnson]

Think I take it seriously.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I completely understand not wanting to mess that. I wouldn't want to do a bad version of it. It's funny actually, because when we talk about, like we were just talking about Cat Reitman on the show. So we. How I met her was on this horrible show called the Real Wedding Crashers for the part, of course, I was better than you at it and it was okay. So we did a bunch of press and one of the things we did was we were going to throw out the first pitch at a White Sox game. But what they wanted was they were like, you'll be a bride and groom. And it was like. I was. So we were. She was in a wedding dress and I was in like a tux, and we were going to go out to the mound and I was going to start to throw it, and then she was going to stop me, take the ball and throw it. And, you know, so it's kind of like a dumb. I mean, again, everything was stupid with the show, so. So we were like, yeah, great. So we got flown out to Chicago. We were there. We were in the guts of the stadium. And I'm saying to her, I'm like, do you know how to throw a pitch? And she's like, nah. I mean, yeah, I do. And I'm like, they take it very seriously. She was not that interested. They were like, do you want some warmups? Whatever. We were just hanging out. We go out there, we kind of do it. She takes the ball from me and I mean, she throws it two feet in the dirt so hard, and they start booing so loud.

[Jake Johnson]

And she was Especially at Comiskey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And she was. She was there like, why are they. Why were they booing? And I was like, it's like a thing. If you.

[Kevin Bartelt]

If you'd ask my dad, he'd say, she could be a better pitcher for the White Sox.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

That's worst team in the history of baseball. Yeah.

[Kevin Bartelt]

And like.

[Jake Johnson]

And they're not doing it like the movie Major League. They're not trying to sell it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

That just happened.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Which is pretty weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no montage.

[Jake Johnson]

No. Well, when it was happening, I thought, like, I bet there's going to be some reason that they're trying to go to Nashville or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Jake Johnson]

Then I talked to my brother who's, you know, a lobbyist and into the kind of inner workings in Chicago, and he's like, no, they want a new stadium.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's right. And that's a long way to go.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, we want tax dollars to help pay. What'd you produce? The worst baseball team in the history of Major League Baseball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're tank for a new place.

[Jake Johnson]

You're like, your strategies, man. You gotta be like, fun for the city. I look at certain photos. I'll send them to Edelstein because Eric's so into going to games.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'm like, going. The idea of going to Comiskey to a near empty stadium sounds so Fun to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

I was just gonna say, if I was still in Chicago, I would go to. I would take business meetings there. I would do it. You're like, what do you want to do? Like, hey, let's meet on this. How about you? Under 2pm they go, where do you want to meet? You go like this. Let's meet behind home plate at Comiskey. Tickets are like $10.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We can have a table there.

[Jake Johnson]

We'll talk at full volume. The catcher can hear us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's going on?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, what's going on? All the Angels are up by 6. Have you ever heard of Mike Trout? He's literally right there. Michael. You're like, what world are you in? It. Fascinating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also love Edelstein's ability to go to everything like that is so dead within me.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Same with me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The idea of being able to just go anywhere is just. It's like going somewhere to me.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is a big deal.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree. In speaking of when. When I went to see the Eagles at the Sphere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

One thing I didn't mention before, but it's really weird about that venue is the lights are up so you can see everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So strange.

[Jake Johnson]

Joe Walsh. I guess the older ladies love Joe Walsh, right? He's the only guy there who the. All the ladies still like the rest of them. And you guys are cool as the Eagles, but Joey Walsh, I guess there's something cooking with that old timer. But he would. He would. He would do his. He would get to the mic and be like, all right, now we're gonna. And you would see, like, 11 women. They were all in, like, the same kind of outfits, would stand up in certain sections and do, like, sexy dancing, but you could just see them. So my brother and I are, like, sitting in a section. You'd be like, three ahead, eight seats over. There's a lady. Sex. Sexually dancing to, like, witchy woman. And I'm like, this is wild, man. If I can dim the lights, I'm dying. I dim the lights.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a weird light. That is a very weird element.

[Jake Johnson]

Look at footage of Grateful Dead and company. You've got all these people doing the Grateful Dead dance in full lights.

[Kevin Bartelt]

That's weird.

[Jake Johnson]

You're. That shit is meant for the dark.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That really is.

[Jake Johnson]

Dancing at concerts, when you're a fan, that's for a. Dimly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Probably tripping. It's not the time to be sharing.

[Jake Johnson]

Your experience or pretending you're tripping, like. And you're doing the tripping dance simply because that's what people do now?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You're dancing as if you're on drugs. Only because you've seen video of other people dancing that way. Not how a human dances. But my only note to the sphere, dim those lights.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, agreed. Well, listen, we got no notes for this episode because it's a banger. Right?

[Jake Johnson]

Or dim the lights on the episode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Do us a favor. Watch this. Listen to this. In a dark room.

[Jake Johnson]

Without further ado.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Bridget]

Hello.

[Steve]

Hi. What's your name? My name is Steve.

[Bridget]

Hi, my name is Bridget.

[Steve]

Great name, Bridget. Well, I'm guesting here with your boys, Jake and Gareth. We're excellent. It seems like you may have an issue you want to bring up with us. Care to share?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you want to get any more information, Steve?

[Steve]

Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Where are you from? I mean, sorry, I'm learning. Where are you from? Bridge.

[Jake Johnson]

Care to share is special.

[Bridget]

First of all, thank you for asking me where I'm from because I've been rehearsing in my head. My name is Bridget. I'm 39, I'm from Metro Detroit. For a couple hours and I didn't want that to be wasted.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, Bridget, you nailed it.

[Steve]

Are you close to Royal? Are you close to Royal Oak?

[Bridget]

I am about 45 minutes from Royal Oak.

[Steve]

Great. Great, great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good stuff. Steven.

[Jake Johnson]

Steven, finish us off. What's the last thing to say?

[Steve]

Well, Bridget, are you enjoying Spooky Season?

[Jake Johnson]

Is how that isn't it? That's saying, what can we do for you today?

[Steve]

Oh, what can we do for you? Do you care to share?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you enjoy Spooky Season? It's like what a six year old would say when he came over to school.

[Steve]

I mean, I am. This is my time.

[Jake Johnson]

I hear you.

[Steve]

Oh, my God. My.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on.

[Steve]

Wait.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. I can't. Bridget, Bridget, I just. I'm so sorry. This call is chaos already, but let me.

[Jake Johnson]

We're going to get it back in order. We'll get it back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You absolutely get on track in a minute.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, we're going to air this one second. Let's just move on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But no, we cannot, because Jake, because Steve once again has left the call run away because he's got a rotisserie chicken that he over oiled that set his smoke detector off.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so now, Bridget, back to you. What can we do for you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

God almighty.

[Bridget]

Thanks, guys. So I am a real estate agent. In real life, my day job. But you may have heard that the economy isn't great. And because of that I decided I last year wanted to get a job that would kind of supplement that income. And I decided to get my CDL and drive a school school bus for the district that my kids are in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool.

[Bridget]

So I've been doing that for just under a year, and I'm really, like, I'm killing it with the elementary kids. Like, they just think I'm hilarious. They think I'm great. We get along wonderfully. But the middle school and high school kids, I can't connect with them. I don't know if you've met, like, teenage boys before, but they are the scariest creatures on earth. And so my question is, I want to be respected by these kids. I want to be able to be like, hey, sit down, or, hey, stop swearing, or, hey, could you not walk up and down the aisle while I'm driving? But I also want them to be like, no problem, Ms. Bridget. You're so cool. We're going to listen to you. And right now I just am paralyzed in fear because again, teenager.

[Jake Johnson]

I get it. So I'm gonna do a quick recap to get Bergie back in it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we find out, though, Did Steve. Steve, what was happening there again?

[Steve]

I. The. The chicken is just smoking. It's an olive oil problem. I took it out. We'll finish it later. It didn't work out. Never leave a chicken unattended is what I just learned.

[Jake Johnson]

So, title. She, Bridget, is a school bus driver for at her kids district. She's killing it with the middle school kids.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

But the junior high and high school kids aren't showing her a lot of respect. And the high school boys are swearing, walking around the aisle while she's driving. And she's looking for ways to, one, have authority where they listen, but two, maybe be respected because she's cool. Is that correct, Bridget?

[Bridget]

You got it. It's the elementary school kids that I'm killing it with. Middle school and high school, they're. They're. They're tough nuts to crack.

[Steve]

Oh, awful age. I was such a brat when I was that age. Um, that's tough.

[Jake Johnson]

Same.

[Steve]

They're not, like. They're not, like, physically threatening. They're just being disrespectful, like, verbally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Bridget]

And not even to me, like, to each other. And so sometimes I'm like, hey, guys, could you chill it on? Being terrible human beings to each other. And they kind of like, look at me like, yeah, do you really think we're gonna listen to you?

[Jake Johnson]

But, Bridget, do you say chill it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's a problem. Because, hey, I'll tell you what.

[Jake Johnson]

You Just triggered the inner 10th grade brat at me where if a bus driver goes like, hey, could you guys chill it and be cool people?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool down.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm throwing a spitball at you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool down.

[Bridget]

So I. So this is my problem, right? Like, I don't know how to talk to these kids and I'm certainly not going to come on and be like, hey, like, stigma. That's a thing. I don't even know what that means. Like, I'm not trying to be like them.

[Jake Johnson]

I gotcha.

[Bridget]

But I don't want. I'm 39. I don't want them to be like, oh, our old bus driver is so late.

[Gareth Reynolds]

39 old.

[Jake Johnson]

I get this. I think 10 years older than you, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's two. Wow. All right, Jake, have fun. Have fun with your little made up town that you're running. That's funny. Cute. Anyway, Bridget, here's what I'm going to say. I think there's two ways to attack this. One is to incentivize and the other might just be to appear cool. Can you decorate your bus at all? Is that allowed?

[Bridget]

Yes. And so I will tell you that I do cater to the elementary kids because they like me. So right now I have. Okay, okay, we've won. Right now I have some Halloween, like gel Klingon things and I have. I know, I know. It's embarrassed. I'm embarrassed to say it.

[Steve]

No, it's awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's not.

[Bridget]

I thought. I thought there was groaning. I thought there was groaning like there was. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

No, Bridget, it's not. Here's what it is. It's. It's young. So it's making it feel like it's a kids thing and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And it's also the demo you've won.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. If. If we're going after the high schoolers, then we're going after the high schoolers. If you've already got the young kids. The young kids are sweet. They're fine. If this call is really, how do I get high school boys to show a little respect? Because if we try to set too big of a net out here, we're not going to get anything. But we can get the high school boys to show you respect.

[Bridget]

Okay, I'm all ears.

[Jake Johnson]

So I would say the way to do it with that age, the biggest mistake you're going to make is to try to get them to like you. Like and respect for teenage boys are very different things. They're never going to like you. They don't even like themselves. They definitely hate everybody around them.

[Steve]

Yep. They hate their parents, everyone.

[Jake Johnson]

They hate everything. Their bodies are changing, their minds are changing, their fucking know it alls, and they hate everything. So them being like, you know what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fuck my dad.

[Jake Johnson]

I also hate my lacrosse coach. But Bridget the bus driver has cool stickers. Not in a million years. Is that the third thing? Not in a million years. But you know what it could be. I hate my dad. He's too hard on me. My lacrosse coach sucks. And there's so many rules on the boss. Fine, follow the rules, Trevor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think there is a way to. I had a teacher and maybe sixth grade who because I was a little shit and she was like, if you're well behaved in my class all week, the last 10 minutes of Friday's class, I'll let you tell jokes in front of the class. Do whatever you want. And so I was a choir boy for that week because I knew I was incentivized for the last 10 minutes on Friday. So is there a way to maybe like stage time? I mean, you are kind of. It is like a way to. What Jake is kind of saying. It is kind of a way to like, treat them almost like peers. If you're like, look, if you guys want to be shits all week, whatever, you can do that. But if you guys have a good week, nobody's walking while we're driving, all that stuff. X pitch, I don't have it.

[Jake Johnson]

But that's what you're saying at the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

End of the week.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Bridget, for you. What is it the kids want?

[Bridget]

So I will tell you that the first week of school on Friday, at the end of the week, I bought. I bought suckers. And I just said, hey, there's suckers on the dash if you want one, take one when you get off. And that was pretty well received.

[Jake Johnson]

A lot of pandering. Pandering.

[Bridget]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, guys, I'm desperate.

[Jake Johnson]

But by the way, the reason I say that. But Bridget, the reason I say that is that's a sign of weakness. And they're going to run. You're like this. Do you like me? Would you eat this candy? No, I'll take all the candy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you're kind. It's also candy for this age is not the way it is for.

[Jake Johnson]

But the young kids love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love it. But I think that is a solution. Like to me, I'm like.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, candy would speak for yourself.

[Steve]

Well, I actually have candy written down in my piece of paper. Candy will work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's actually before the show even started. He had that.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what's burning in his stove. He's just calling candy chicken. I put olive oil, a bunch of Skittles. It was a nightmare.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm making my own Tootsie Pop.

[Jake Johnson]

So. So, Bridget, you gave candy suckers to the kids. And what was the reaction?

[Bridget]

So of course elementary, I mean, 10 out of 10 loved it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Bridget]

High school kids, honestly, a lot of them were like, oh, thanks.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, the sweet kids.

[Bridget]

A couple. Yeah. Because a couple of the boys, I was like, hey, there's a, there's suckers if you want one. And they honestly may as well have told me to go to hell because they just. Yeah, they just walked off the bus. Like, are you. That's it?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Ms. Bridget, I want to suck on a sucker. Like I'm a 4 year old sucker ass.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm 15, I'm smoking cigarettes this weekend.

[Jake Johnson]

The only thing I'm going to put in my mouth is a vape.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep, I know.

[Bridget]

And I think I'll get fired if I pass out. Vape.

[Jake Johnson]

No. Yeah. But I have a real pitch. I have a real pitch.

[Bridget]

I have a pitch.

[Jake Johnson]

So you tell the high schoolers, here's what I need on the bus. It's not a lot of rules, but it's coming down from my boss. You got to stay in your seats. Now if you're moving around, it can't be while I'm driving. 2. We can't be cussing. There are kids at different ages. I know it's 16, you could swear and you're cool, but I got 10 year olds on this thing. You can't do that. So that cannot happen. I don't want to report you. I don't want to go to your parents, I don't want to go to my bosses, but I will start it immediately. That cannot happen anymore. But I'm a parent. I'm not a. I haven't been a bus driver my whole life. This isn't my life's passion. So let's do something. If you guys follow the rules all week on Friday, high schoolers control the music.

[Bridget]

Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

It's so you could go like pick a song. Now we can't have songs that are like gross or vulgar. But if you guys want to bring in a mix and I control the thing, Friday we blast music. But if one person blows it on a Wednesday, then you go, hey, everybody, we're not doing music this week because Trevor decided to walk around the aisle. So none on Friday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I basically, basically what I had and my hat on. That would be if they don't get it to the point where that's going to happen for them. You pick the music and you put on like disco or something to further incentivize it. Plus, it makes you kind of like a fun villain character.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, you could also play music every day and you pick so that it's just low going. And then on Fridays you say, we can turn the volume allowed and have some fun. But I need the high schools. My elementary school and my middle schoolers are cool. I need these high school boys to step up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you leave it music less so that Friday is a real event.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that's fun, actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a big deal. Then people are excited for songs.

[Jake Johnson]

It's funny, it's fun. What do you think?

[Steve]

I will say this, and I don't want to be a naysayer, but I mean, I'm guessing 90% of kids have earbuds and they're already listening to their own music. So you've got it right. So music's gonna be a problem. But I do like disco ball. There we go.

[Jake Johnson]

But I mean, turn it into like. It becomes like the party bus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's what I also just thought.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you familiar with the silent disco?

[Bridget]

I am familiar with the silent disco, yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm wondering if there's a way that you can maybe incentivize that so it's like the kids who are good get the silent disco on Friday.

[Jake Johnson]

What is silent disco?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's where you hand out headphones.

[Jake Johnson]

But she's got to buy all the headphones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But whatever. It's not going to be that like you. But you buy a few pairs of headphones and the kids that are that kind of win MVP for the week.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you think the high school boy wants to be part of a silent disco? Or would he go. If he goes, hey, a bunch of the elementary schools and you, Trevor, you know what I would do? Thanks. And then I'll go like this when no one was looking. Get the fuck off of me. I'm cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, fine, Jake. We'll just put porn on. Are you happy?

[Jake Johnson]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, I'm just.

[Jake Johnson]

Are you now?

[Steve]

I like. I like the angle of the. Playing the good cop and the bad cop at the same time. I don't think you have to go full lean on me, Morgan Freeman on the kids and like, threaten them because, I mean, high school kids are scary.

[Bridget]

No, no, I want everyone. At the end of the day, I want you to have fun. I want you to joke around with your friends, whatever Like, I'm definitely not hard on them. But when it's just like the F word, every other word out of your mouth, I'm like, come on, guys. Honestly, it's too much.

[Steve]

Here's something you could do. Now. It's a little devious. I don't know if you get in trouble, but you could put like a fake recorder at the front of your bus and saying like, hey, there's been complaints from some of the other parents that there's been some, like, really inappropriate things being vulgar inappropriate things and mean things being said to bus. This is not my control, but now I have to have this recorder. Although if you got the school may have an issue with.

[Jake Johnson]

I've got something that's going where Steve is going on this. You from a smallish town?

[Bridget]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you probably have a connection to the cops.

[Bridget]

Sure. Yeah. The liaison officer at our school is super nice and parked in the bus garage.

[Jake Johnson]

And what's this fellow? What's this man or woman's name? What are we calling this officer?

[Bridget]

We're going to call him. We'll call him Jim.

[Jake Johnson]

Jim. I would have Jim get on the bus and go. I've heard complaints from families about people walking around in the aisle, vulgarity around kids and general disrespect and at school bus. This belongs to my county, my department. Not having a seatbelt on, swearing around kids is a vulgar. Ordinance 101.395, punishable by 500 to 1200 fine and whippens in the town square. Standing up without a seatbelt is ordinance 91394. Punishment is 800 to $1200 and two nights in jail. There will be no bullshit on this. And then he points at you and he goes, this nice woman right here is your boss. If she gives me one complaint about any one of you, that's the rule of God. Be careful. And then he goes, I don't want to come back on this bus again because then you're going to see a different guy. I got arrested by the ordinance officer at our junior high. His name was Officer Friendly. He pulled a gun on me when I was in high school. Those guys get very real very fast. And I literally went, officer. I go, officer Friendly. Chill out. Chill out. I knew you when I was a kid. Hands in the air. So those guys get very real, very fast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love the way that Jake didn't. There was not a gap between pitch and rationalization, like, reason why. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, because I was thinking, like, at first you're going to go, I'm not afraid of that cop. Which I wasn't. Guess what? I got afraid of that cop.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So if you've got the cop on this bus, at first the teenage boys are going to be like, man, shut the fuck up, Officer. And then you're going to go, officer Friendly is a scary dude. Yeah, I don't want to go to jail. Officer Friendly handcuffed me to a wall with my arm too high. And I said it hurt my shoulder and he didn't care. And I was like, not friendly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The name Officer Friendly is amazing. That he pulled a gun on you.

[Jake Johnson]

Not friendly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't believe people.

[Steve]

You probably had it coming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Is it weird that I'm automatically on Officer Friendly side?

[Steve]

Yeah, I'm sure you're. I'm sure you were doing something.

[Jake Johnson]

But Bridget, what do you think about that as an idea that you bring in the cop to lay down the law and then you are good cop and they bad cop.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Bridget]

I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I just am nervous that they're gonna be like, again, this. I just wanna be cool. I just want them to be.

[Jake Johnson]

Stop it with that. That's not gonna happen.

[Bridget]

You're not.

[Jake Johnson]

You like to give away suckers and have stickers and. What was the term you said? Chillin or whatever.

[Steve]

Chillin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Chill out. Shouting Chill out.

[Steve]

Chillin.

[Jake Johnson]

Chill out. Chill it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But is there a way, Is there a world where we do that on the A. And then as soon as friend. As soon as Officer Jim leaves, you say, look, I know that was a lot. Let's make it fun.

[Bridget]

Boom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't we do this? You guys got to follow his rules. But if you do follow his rules, we get to do the thing we were just kind of talking about. Someone picks the Friday soundtrack for the ride home.

[Jake Johnson]

Because I. And you guys, you go like, guys, I don't want this to be lame. I'm looking to have fun too. So let's just do this. Let's all be very controlled. Monday through Thursday, and then Friday on the way home. Let's enjoy our weekend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And guess what, Bridget. School.

[Steve]

I honestly go.

[Bridget]

All right, don't make fun of me. But what about. What about like rope lights or something around the top of the seat or the ceiling?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What about. What is that?

[Bridget]

Lane? No, like rope light.

[Steve]

Yeah, I don't think decorations are going to get you any mileage with teenagers, if I'm being honest.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't think so either.

[Steve]

I mean, they would with me, but I'm a different kind of teenager. But I mean, not.

[Jake Johnson]

You mean not a teenager.

[Steve]

Well, if I was, I'm putting my. Easy. Okay, I'm uncomfortable with that number, but.

[Jake Johnson]

There goes my chicken.

[Steve]

I do chicken. I do think this is, like, really a super solid plan. One you're making him. You're going to look so much cooler and nicer compared. If this cop does his job and commits to the bit. I think you are in great shape.

[Jake Johnson]

And then I think if one of the teenage boys stands up rather than you go like this, Trevor, Trevor, come on, man. You gotta get like, don't do that. And then you go. If he goes, sorry. You go like. And then you could say like, hey, man, that's my ass.

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Because guess what? It wouldn't just be you, it'll be me, too. So I need you to stop doing that. And then you go. They go, all right, sorry. And you go, if one person tell, like, come on, man. And then it's us versus the fucking popo versus you just create the popo to be the bad guy and you're fucking one of them. You're just 39 and not that cool.

[Steve]

But, yeah, you're changing the narrative, though, because, yeah, I think. I think this is the way to go. I see this working like gangbusters because.

[Jake Johnson]

I see all of a sudden, as the kid, you're like, bridget's fine. Like, she's cool. She's not up our asses. She's not. I wouldn't try too hard. I wouldn't do the lights. I wouldn't give them candy. I wouldn't be overly friendly. Like, if a teenage boy walks in, don't say hi to him. Do not ask how his day was. Don't remember details. He's not going to go. You know what? That was really sweet. She remembered I had a math exam. That's going to just be weakness. This is jail culture. So you're not a punk. They're not taking your commissary.

[Bridget]

You're right. Because the first day of school, I accidentally missed one of the boys stop. So then the second day, I was like, okay, I'm gonna get this stop. And I got it. And he comes up and I was like, look at me, huh? Second day of school, remembering where you live. And he was like, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, he had no sense of humor. Your comment was perfect. That's on him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's also hilarious to miss a kid's house.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Jake Johnson]

Agree 1. One job kind of thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, honestly, you know what I mean? Like, come on. Just like that kid's like, cool. What's the plan? All right, just jump over Little River. I think this is pretty good, Bridget. I would say there's a good A side, there's a good B side. And I think you can play it, you know, like you're. Once that happens, you're rewarding the kids because you don't like the stuffy environment, the officer.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's exactly right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I would go with it. I mean, what do you think?

[Bridget]

I think I'm going to do it. Yeah. I appreciate it. Never would have crossed my mind. It would have been suckers and party light until June.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really mean this. Thank God you called. Called?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Steve]

Truly and honestly, the cop, I. I think the cop, the school cop is going to love this role. Like, he's like, yes, please. I get a flex on some kids, you bet. That's why. That's why they take their job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just remember, Steve almost burned his house down with the same chicken twice.

[Steve]

That's true. That's true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that's what we're doing.

[Bridget]

At least they're not Steve, is what you're saying at least, correct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sure. That's.

[Steve]

It could be worse. You could be me.

[Jake Johnson]

Bridget, we appreciate it. Please follow up with us when you find out what's happening with the cop. If he's in, I will let us know. Because this could be really. This could be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep us posted. I'd like to know every development.

[Steve]

You got this.

[Bridget]

Hey, thanks, brother. I appreciate you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Bye. Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Bridget, go get him. Bye. And we are brought to you by Me Undies. Big fan of Me Undies. Fall is that special time of year for everyone out there that loves a good lounge. From lazy weekend spent on the couch to curling up in bed, you know, on a chilly day. Look, it's pretty straightforward. Me Undies is the place to get underwear. I have a number of pairs of me undies I have. I'm not going to lie, Kevin. One pair has glitter on them. And I don't want to talk yet is cool, and I'd love to show them to you. They have styles for everyone. You are legally committed now. Please stop talking. Styles for everyone. Meundies has a cut for every butt with over 20 different styles and 100 different colors of prints, like the glitter ones I'll be showing Kevin shortly. Versatile loungewear, Unmatched comfort. And another thing we like is they are responsibly sourced, something you should really pay attention to. They use sustainably sourced materials and Work with partners that care for their workers. So listen, don't just sit there uncomfortably. Sit there comfortably. Be your most comfortable self. This fall with Me Undies, get 20% off your first order plus free [e-mail] heretohelp that's meundies.com heretohelp for 20% off plus free shipping Me Undies comfort from the outside in. By the way, when I show you them, Kevin, they will be 20% off. Turning your camera off, they will be 20% off. Do you understand what I'm saying? And I'm not talking about the price point. And we are brought to you by Mint Mobile. Look, you know what? We're here to help. We love to help and we love to help with giving people deals. How good was that, Kevin? Very good. It was great. But we're not here to backpack me over how awesome that was because Mint Mobile is awesome. Look, mint mobile is $15 a month wireless when you purchase a three month plan. So we at we're here to help. We're like, is this really true? So we switched to Mint Mobile and it really is that it's $15 a month. The longest part of the process was the time I spent on hold waiting to break up with the old provider because you know they're trying to get you. You're probably not on your wife. I'm not going to get into it. But to get started, go to mintmobile.com heretohelp there. You'll see right now all three month plans are only $15 a month. Not a lot of people know that. Ryan Reynolds and I are brothers, so that's what I'm biased. But I also like it on its own merits. All the plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk text on the nation's largest 5G network. Can use your own phone with any mobile plan and bring your phone number, which is the best part. I mean there's a lot of best parts. It's a tie. For best parts, all your existing contacts, not that you would really worry that they would try to break up your preexisting relationships, but find out how easy it is to switch to Mint mobile and get three months of premium wireless for 15 bucks a month to get.

[Jake Johnson]

This new customer offer and your new 3 month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month go to mint mobile.com heretohelp that's mintmobile.com hereto help cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mint mobile.com/heretohelp $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first 3 month plan only. Speeds slower above 40gb on unlimited plans. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, and we're brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Look. They have revolutionized the way we shave with their grooming products, with their razors. All super high quality, never overpriced. I mean the razors last forever. I love the razors. I love the razors. I love the actual, like the shaving foam, all those things. Truly, they just make it so easy on you. What, what else do you use, Kevin?

[Kevin Bartelt]

I use the six blade razor. I use it for a wedding a couple weeks ago. Looked slick and then I love the trimmer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feels very easy to use.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Just like a very quick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Kevin, it's that, it's that diamond handle that they've got going on with that thing. I'll be honest. Kevin and I sometimes get together. We shave each other. We do it like old old west style. We'll get together and we'll lather each other's faces up and we'll shave each other. And Kevin's wife doesn't know about that, but she doesn't really listen to the show. So we're, we're okay. They have a lot of stuff. They have the double headed electric trimmer, the style detailer precision trimmer, personal care for dudes. There. We're talking face to the naughty place. Dollar Shave Club has you. And the best part, Dollar Shave Club products are now available everywhere. So you can order from their website, Amazon or get them at your favorite retailer near you.

[Jake Johnson]

But don't take our word for it. Try it for yourself. You can visit their site right now for 20% off $20 or more and get your products delivered right to your door. Visit dollarshaveclub.com heretohelp and use promo code heretohelp for 20% off, $20 only.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello, hello, hello there. Welcome to we're here to help. America's number one podcast. Don't look it up. Sorry, Arden. Can we get your name, your age? Where are you calling from, please?

[Jordan]

My name is Jordan. I am 40 and I am calling from beautiful Bloomington, Indiana.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, gorgeous. Driven through it a bunch. Listen, Jordan, Jake's not here. He's a Hollywood hotshot. But you know who we do have?

[Jordan]

I know the type.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who do we have? We have in his stead, our guest helper, Fantastic has her own podcast which I've been on a bunch, but she has a lot more stuff coming up. But the host of will you accept this rose? The fantastic Arden Marine is joining us. Hi, Arden.

[Charlie]

Hi, guys. Hi, Jordan. Hi, Gary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey there. Hi, Arden.

[Charlie]

Hey, girl.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jordan, is there something you'd like to say to Arden? Felt like you were.

[Jordan]

I'm starstruck. I'm almost speechless.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go. Well, that's going to be shitty for the show. All right, Jordan.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jordan, why don't you tell us what is going on? What the hell's up?

[Jordan]

Well, I have a father in law problem.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Jordan]

But thankfully, it's not the typical type. He's a great guy. Love him. Love my in laws in general, but he is absolutely terrible with the remote. When we're watching football together with the rewind, the fast forward, the pause. It takes five hours to watch a game. He can't find the right spot after the commercial. Sometimes he forgets to fast forward through the commercials and rewinds at the wrong time. And I can't text my buddies while we're watching.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you? Is he pausing? Are you starting the games late? That's why he's able to fast forward through the commercials.

[Jordan]

No, he's pausing, usually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pausing where?

[Jordan]

Just at a random point like, oh, let me pause and go get another drink or go to the bathroom or get the snack.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's building up time in those. Go to the fridge, pauses. And then when he's trying to skip the commercials, he's going too far. I mean, I'll be honest.

[Jordan]

Getting that he can skip the commercials.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, and you're just sitting there because you're not commercial. You're not comfortable being like, hank, let's fucking go.

[Charlie]

I do, but, Jordan, may I call you. May I call you jojo?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, you may. I'll answer for him. Yes.

[Charlie]

Okay, Jojo, listen, I'm going to be honest with you. I am your father in law in every television situation. Jojo, I'm sorry, I'm the bad. I am the nightmare remote operator. I'm the. Like, we got to pause it. I am a nightmare to watch something with and have me be in control of the remote. So I want to. You're talking to somebody who's psychology. I'm playing the part of your father in law right now. What's his name?

[Jordan]

Okay, perfect. His name's Charlie.

[Charlie]

Okay, I'm Charlie right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, well, listen, that's tough to hear too, Arden. I'm not gonna lie.

[Charlie]

But not my best quality.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not. But there. There's so many surrounding it, so it's okay. Okay, Charlie, keep going. Is there more to this or is that basically where we're at?

[Jordan]

I mean, that's the crux of it. I can't text my buddies while we're watching the game, which is a crucial part of it. I can't check Twitter. I can't check the score, and it takes five hours to watch a game.

[Charlie]

Does he know he's bad at it? Because I know I have shame around it. I panic and I'm ashamed and I'm aware. Does he know?

[Jordan]

No. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you be like, he has no shame? Okay, Jordan, what. What do you do for work, roughly?

[Jordan]

I work for the school system here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I have a pitch. That's obviously a lie, because those are so helpful in situations like this. Do you want me to go? Arden, you. You got something?

[Charlie]

No, I like it. I felt like you were channeling something. I was into it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to say that you say there's something for the school for this football season where there's a group of kids who you need. Hold on. I'm so sorry. Joseph, stop it. Sorry. He's clawing at one of my favorite chairs. It's a new thing he's doing. Yeah. Anyway, back to the advice from me, who clearly is a professional grown man who you should be listening to. Yeah. I would say that there's something either in your. In a teacher's group, or there's something you're doing with a group of students where you are. It's important that you are able to communicate, live with them. So you have to ask him for the next six weeks when you're watching a game to not pause it, because it's not only that the game will get a little ruined for you, but it's also important that you can communicate in real time with a group of people. And then maybe after you do that for a little while, he'll kind of get the hint that this is a better way to do it.

[Charlie]

I'm a big fan of lying. And I am a big fan of lying, particularly if you're sparing somebody's feelings. Sometimes it's the easier, kinder way. I think good relationships are built on lies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Babies. It's a baby lie.

[Charlie]

Yeah, exactly. A little white lie that's like, he doesn't need. Look, he's a grown man, you know, he's probably over 65. I'm going to guess. Like, he doesn't need to have his wrist slapped. Charlie's doing his best. He's psyched to hang out with his Buddy, you know, Charlie and Jojo. Like, so rather than like, he's probably excited that you're over, he's like, I get a little ADD and I'm like, I just want to keep settling in and get my snack. It's like. So I think maybe I like the white live. Something that you could include him in is that you could have a decoy friend text you and like, I don't know, I like this so that he, he doesn't need to. At this stage in the game, there's no reason to call him out, overwhelm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Him with the terms say. And Kevin, you can jump in here because you have a pen Twitch. But why don't you start saying stuff like we got a live stream on Twitch. It's me and a group. We have, you know, stuff like that where you're going to see his eyes kind of gloss over and just once you see that look in his eyes, you've won. And then you just say so if possible, if you gotta get a drink or you gotta take a whiz, you do it during the commercials. Which by the way, is how it should be anyway.

[Charlie]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Jordan]

100%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

That's what they're there for.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I have a pitch. Jordan, that might be a little tricky. Two words, druggin second remote. Is it possible that you could have a little pocket remote when he pauses.

[Charlie]

For commercials, then you're backseat driving like you can't. And he would feel, no, I actually.

[Jordan]

Kind of like that.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yeah, that's what's up.

[Charlie]

Can you just say, hey, do you mind if I fast forward through the commercials?

[Kevin Bartelt]

Or I would, I wouldn't even cop to it. I would just hit play when he pauses during commercials so he's not missing the game. And then when he is like, what the heck? He's like, I don't know. I. Yeah, I went to the bathroom too. It was playing when I came back or something. I like X. You can only do it so many times, but maybe you can get through a couple of games with a little pocket play. Sounds inappropriate as I say that out loud.

[Charlie]

Pocket play. Everybody wants to pocket play with Charlie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love watching a home game and doing pocket play.

[Charlie]

There's nothing like pocket playing with your father in law.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I mean? Don't let him know I'm pocketing. Yeah. Okay, so let me ask you this.

[Kevin Bartelt]

What.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you watching? What. What is the device that you are watching this on?

[Jordan]

Yeah, it's. It's like a Roku TV.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would guess that I, I use Apple TVs mainly. But what I would guess is that there's probably a way on that remote to change what the buttons do. I know there is. On Apple tv, you can start fucking around a little bit. You could also. Third option, you could change right when he goes for that early whiz, you could go there and change what rewind does and what play does and just make it so the remote's a little backwards to him. And then you could take over the remote and use and be like, let me do it. I love that. That might be a little complicated too.

[Jordan]

Well, last time I was there, I had to fix the tv. So he sees me as like, I know how to make it work anyway.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So there might be an angle way where you can scapegoat that a little bit into some problems. Like, you can say you could. You could claim there, like, if he were to skip a part of the game, you could be like, damn it, this remote's doing that again. Because I think the remote jumps further ahead than you want to go. You could make it seem like the tech is the issue.

[Charlie]

I like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then you could maybe get the remote. Either way, we're talking about a.

[Charlie]

And I like that. A Roku. And I do think there's also a way you could come in and be like, oh, man, I got a hard out. I gotta meet Casey at five down at fucking Pep Boys or whatever. Like, obviously I was like. But, like, I have a hard out. So, like, if you don't, I'm gonna, like, you might just always have to have a hard out. You gotta fast forward through shit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that. What I also like is Arden's take on what men do, which is that we're all going to probably meet at Pep Boys around when it closes.

[Jordan]

Nailed it.

[Kevin Bartelt]

And fight.

[Jordan]

Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I gotta go meet Casey. Donna, Pep Boys at five. We're eating sandwiches with spaghetti in them.

[Charlie]

I just thought you said meet Casey at Pep Boys and fight. They eat a fight Club at Pep Boys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, I'm gonna go meet Casey and Pep Boys. Beat his ass.

[Charlie]

I like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, well, Jordan, there's a few things there. There's kind of coming up with the heart out. There's the second remote, Roku. There is the fake. There's the Rokuku, there's the fake live stream text version. That's pretty much it. Those are pretty much.

[Charlie]

I'm blaming on technology. You get the second remote. Or blaming on technology.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, this sort of scapegoat. The escape remote. Go ahead.

[Kevin Bartelt]

The language I would use for that, Jojo, is there's an operating system update, and just blame it on that. Oh, these operating system updates keep screwing me over. Very legit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's some options for you, Jojo. So what do you think you're gonna do? Where are you leaning?

[Charlie]

Yeah, JoJo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

I think the. I think the. The Blame the software, blame the tech combination of those two. Maybe second remote. They definitely have more than one of the same kind of remote in the house. So that could possibly be a.

[Charlie]

And you've got backup. Backup things. If that doesn't work, you've. You've got to be planned, which is important.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, the more that I. There is a. You could get, like, a unit, a remote that controls basically everything. What you might want to do is get one of those, and every time he does something, shut it off. Just shut the TV off and do that three times. And then be like, I don't know what's going on, But I think just maybe we just leave it now, because, you know, it's better to have it be like, you know, like, whatever, we missed two seconds, than it fully shut off.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But either way, JoJo, I think that's very. Well, it sounds like you've got what you're going for. So would you like to say thank you to Arden for all of her help, Jojo, and your new nickname.

[Jordan]

Yeah, I mean, next time I'm down at Pep Boys with the boys, I have to let them know I'm JoJo now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep, that's right. Jojo. That's the Pep Boys. That's what we are.

[Charlie]

Jojo and The Pep Boys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

JoJo and the Pep Boys.

[Charlie]

That's my favorite musical.

[Kevin Bartelt]

And, Jojo, really quick, I know we're about to wrap up. Roku has this incredible entertainment, trivia, movie trivia game on their app on their Broku thing. If you need a little icebreaker with the old man, go through and see how many. If you get 10 out of 10, it's kind of a big deal. My wife and I spent way too long doing it a couple weeks ago, and it was a blast. So little icebreaker if you need something to chat with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I feel like Kevin's just getting some Roku cash on the side. That was just.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Use promo code shark, and you'll get, like, 10% off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's going on? It's very clear what's going on. All right, JoJo, keep us posted. Hopefully this works out for you, buddy.

[Jordan]

All right, will do.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks a lot, guys.

[Charlie]

Jojo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jojo, Jack Garden.

[Charlie]

Bye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bye. All right. And we're brought to you by Uncommon Goods. Spark something uncommon this holiday season with the right gift from Uncommon Goods. Look, I can. This is a great place to go if you go to Uncommon Goods. If you don't know what you're going to get somebody, I cannot recommend it enough to go to Uncommon Goods to get an idea or even find that thing. It is just, it's like walking through an amazing store online. They scour the globe for all these original or handmade, you know, items you'd never think of. And I ordered a few things from it because there were just things where I was like, oh, it's perfect for my mom. Or, you know, like, whoever you're going to get it for, truly just a great place to go. Either find it or spark an idea. And when you shop on Common Goods, another thing we love, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Many of their handcrafted products are made in small batches. So don't be like, oh, come back tomorrow. Do it now. Shop now. Before they run out. They look for high quality products. It has something for everybody. And they give $1 back to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3 million to date. So what are you doing? Go to Uncommon goods to get 15% off your next gift. That's UncommonGoods.com here to help for 15 off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary, especially Kevin. And we are brought to you by Squarespace. We love and adore Squarespace. We want to have Squarespace as a guest on the show, but they have repeatedly told us that it's not. There's not a person, but we would love to meet the guy or the woman, whatever it is. Look, they legitimize your website. My website is Squarespace. Kevin's website is Squarespace. Super user friendly.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Many of our callers websites are Squarespace.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we like you. We did the wigs and suits. Yeah, they were Squarespace. This, this woman called. She lying to her boss about taking cooking classes while she was going off and doing some more naughty stuff. We helped make her a website that was so legitimate, her boss believed she was taking cooking classes. You think we're putting in 40 hours of work to do that? No, we're using Squarespace because they make it that easy. Squarespace. We're talking design, intelligence, Squarespace payments connected to your social and multimedia accounts. It makes it easy to sell content. There's SEO tools, all these things that I'd say 30% of our listeners are going I. That intimidates me. Not anymore it doesn't. Because Squarespace makes it easy. It's like having a translator with you. It makes you legitimized in the website world. You need a website, Just ask Kevin. So join us on a Squarespace journey.

[Jake Johnson]

Head to squarespace.com Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code Gil. This episode is brought to you by Simplisafe. Simplisafe is a home security which I use on my house with Active Guard. SimpliSafe's 247 modern agents keep a close watch over your property and actually stop crimes before they happen. The cameras use advanced AI to tell the difference between friendly faces like family and neighbors and potential threats. Alerting agents to suspicious individuals before they get close to your home. These agents can talk directly to the intruder, sound a loud siren, flash lights, and even alert the police. While other systems only react after a break in. Simplisafe combines live monitored and proactive protection both outside and inside your home. That's why I trust Simplisafe with my own home security every day. And I want you to have that same peace of mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Protect your home with 50% off a new Simplisafe system plus a free indoor security camera. When you sign up for fast protect monitoring, just visit simplisafe.com hereto help. That's simplisafe.com heretohelp. There's no safe like simple.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Hey, everyone, it's the shark. I just wanted to say really quick, if this is your first episode, thanks for listening. And if this is your second episode, thanks for coming back. If this is your third. The original call from this next follow up aired on August 22nd. It's called the Donut King and it is the second call in the episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy.

[Drew]

Hey, how's it going?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. Welcome back. We know you called before. We know we probably solved it, but can you tell us your name and what your first problem was? And then Jake. At some point during this, we should talk about the fact that Kevin is wearing a shirt that has his initials monogrammed on it. What's your name, please?

[Drew]

So my name is Drew and I run on donuts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God, the runner donut. Drew.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Drew, walk us through where we're at, what happened and what we pitched, what your question was, and where we're at now.

[Drew]

Yeah, so Basically, I was the guy who ate lots of donuts and did reviews and stuff, and I was trying to figure out, like, what my rules have to be. So you guys didn't so much as pitch it, but you basically gave me a challenge, which was hit a new stop every month. Keep doing reviews of just, like, the stops I normally go to, but make it a point to hit a new stop every single month. So I've been doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. How's it been going?

[Drew]

Pretty awesome. So right after it aired, a whole bunch of people, like, started following me on Instagram, and I just got a ton of recommendations, so I wrote all those down. I have them all for any time I leave the state. I now have, like, spots I have to hit in every single state if I ever travel. So that's pretty awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

So you're becoming the full on donut man.

[Drew]

That's the goal. Yeah. And then the other benefit is, like, I've been taking my son with me more, and he's turned into the donut prince. I've been getting into donut holes and stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, this is nice. Community has reached out, given you more donut places. I remember now that you had, like, a great big chart, correct? Yeah.

[Drew]

I have my personal spreadsheet for everything.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. So the spreadsheets get bigger. You're now going out of state, and you're using it as a way to bond with your child.

[Drew]

Yeah. Which actually kind of created a new problem because my kid is 2, so he's not the best with speech. And when I asked him if he wants to go get donut holes, he says, duggar instead of donut. And then I say, do you want a chocolate one or an apple one? What color? And he says, yellow. And then he keeps saying he wants a yellow hole.

[Jake Johnson]

So, yeah, we're not going to start on this one. We're not going to start on this one. We're about to ring the bell.

[Bridget]

We're about to ring the bell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, it's bad. I would say this. Lean into the child on the social media as well. People love kids. Maybe the day that he says donut, it's like your social media's version of him taking his first steps. I think Jake's right. We solved this problem. Right, drew?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

100%. Ring the bell.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a win.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, bell's getting rung. Once again. Thanks. Caddyshake. It says we're here to help on it. That's great, dude.

[Jake Johnson]

So we appreciate the call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Congratulations. Good luck, and keep doing what you're doing. And good luck to the donut King and his heir apparent.

[Drew]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you, buddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks, bud.

[Drew]

Yeah. Take care, guys.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.

[Kevin Bartelt]

The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt, and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our social media director is Katelyn Tanwaquil, and our video editor is John de Bruyne.

[Jake Johnson]

The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his [e-mail] that's Oliver R A L L.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.com the album artwork is by James Fosdike. You can find him on Instagram @jamesfosdike dash. And if you'd like to see me do standup on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Additional artwork by Paddy Holland.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You can find him on Instagram @pady holland2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our [e-mail] heretohelpod.

[Jake Johnson]

And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.