Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help – Episode 149: "On My Knees & Don't Call Me Daddy"
Episode Overview
In Episode 149 of We're Here to Help, hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds tackle a range of caller dilemmas, blending humor with heartfelt advice. From navigating workplace tensions with a librarian to redefining intimate nicknames post-parenthood, the episode delves into personal challenges with the hosts' characteristic wit. Additionally, a follow-up call provides updates on entrepreneurial ventures inspired by previous advice. Throughout the episode, notable quotes and insightful discussions highlight the duo's commitment to genuinely assisting their audience.
Discussion with Hannah: Dealing with a Bullying Librarian [11:16 – 22:00]
The episode opens with a call from Hannah, a 30-year-old veteran and stay-at-home mom from Portland, Oregon. Hannah shares her struggles with Denise, the school librarian, who initially allowed her to volunteer at the library—helping Hannah fulfill her 300-hour volunteer requirement for college while accommodating her four-year-old daughter.
Hannah's Story:
Hannah explains, "I need advice about how I can tactfully demand respect from this book jockey without messing up my current situation." [12:10]
The situation intensified after a mishap during the fall carnival where Hannah accidentally wrote "fall Carnival, Fall 2024" on the library floor with a marker that bled through, resulting in an unintended "yes" being visible. Denise's response was curt, insisting that janitorial staff handle the cleanup and hinting at using "tequila" as a remedy. This led to further tension when Hannah and her husband, along with their children, were seen scrubbing the floor, only to be reprimanded by the principal for not using proper cleaning methods.
Hosts' Analysis and Advice:
Jake remarks, "This feels like the beginning of a kids or young adult novel." [15:16], setting a light-hearted tone as they dissect the layered conflict between Hannah and Denise.
Gareth suggests a two-pronged approach:
- Addressing the Mess: "Go to the grocery store and get a rug doctor and do that." [22:55]
- Mending the Relationship: "I think you want the credit because I think it helps you with her because you don't want her to think like you had nothing to do with it." [27:45]
Jake emphasizes the importance of handling the situation covertly to prevent further backlash from Denise: "But we have to tackle the first mountain first." [24:25]
Ultimately, the hosts recommend that Hannah clean the stain discreetly with the help of her husband and children, leave a courteous note, and adopt a "burglar" persona to make the cleanup process more enjoyable and less confrontational. Gareth adds, "Leave behind some flowers and a note that said, sorry this took so long." [30:32]
Conversation with Peyton: Navigating Bedroom Nicknames Post-Parenthood [36:00 – 54:39]
The second significant interaction features a caller named Peyton (played by producer Rob Wobby Wob), who grapples with his wife's desire to call him "Daddy" in bed—a term that also applies to their three-year-old son. Peyton feels uncomfortable with this overlap and seeks guidance on redefining their intimate nicknames.
Peyton's Dilemma:
"My wife... she wants to call me daddy in bed. And this makes me uncomfortable because I have a son who also likes to call me Daddy." [37:31]
Hosts' Brainstorming:
Jake and Gareth engage in an animated brainstorming session to help Peyton navigate this sensitive issue. They consider alternative titles that maintain the desired dynamic without overlapping with familial terms. Suggestions include:
- Professional Titles: "Professor," "Officer," "Sir," and "Master" [44:07]
- Creative Role-Playing: Writing an erotic short story that redefines their relationship dynamics [43:32]
Gareth proposes, "I think you should write a romance short for her that involves you two and maybe highlights that that name doesn't work for the character you're playing." [43:32]
Jake encourages Peyton to integrate these new titles into their intimate life creatively, suggesting scenarios where Peyton takes on a dominant role corresponding to the new nickname: "Call me Coco, the gorilla from the yard." [46:38]
Outcome and Strategy:
The hosts conclude that introducing a new nickname should be a mutual and creative process, ensuring that both partners are comfortable and engaged. They advise Peyton to:
- Introduce the Nickname Subtly: Begin with scenarios that naturally incorporate the new term, making it a part of their intimate narrative.
- Increase Dominance: Use the new title in a commanding yet affectionate manner to rebuild the desired dynamic without causing discomfort.
Peyton responds positively, indicating readiness to adopt the hosts' suggestions: "I think it's honestly a great idea... I've been doing this in September and I feel like I have just been run over." [28:56]
Follow-Up with Matthew: Monetizing Inflatable Pigs [59:37 – 67:20]
In a return call, Matthew Cheeseman provides updates on his entrepreneurial venture involving large inflatable animals—specifically gorillas and pigs—originally recommended by the hosts for event monetization.
Matthew's Progress:
Matthew shares, "Since we last spoke in the newspaper, we've had a couple hits... we have a singles mixer experience in the pig for International Pig Day, March 1st." [62:30]
Hosts' Support and Suggestions:
Jake and Gareth express enthusiasm for Matthew's progress, suggesting enhancements such as:
- VIP Experiences: "You guys are giving us a lot to work with." [65:46]
- Photo Opportunities: Offering Instagram-worthy moments inside the inflatables.
- Exclusive Access: Creating a sense of exclusivity to drive demand.
Gareth adds, "A little like, we're going for. You go together. How about that makes total get together and start their relationship in the pig." [63:38]
Achievements Highlighted:
- Successful events around Halloween featured in local newspapers.
- Positive customer engagement through social media and targeted advertising.
- Strategic planning for future events to maintain momentum.
Hosts' Reflections and Wrap-Up [67:20 – End]
As the episode concludes, Jake and Gareth reflect on their success in providing effective advice, humorously debating their own hit rates and the dynamics of their advisory roles. They acknowledge the positive feedback from callers and express their commitment to continuing their mission of helping others.
Closing Remarks:
Jake humorously states, "We're here to help, we'll be right back." [66:00], encapsulating the show's ongoing dedication to assisting callers.
Notable Quotes:
- Hannah on her situation: "I need advice about how I can tactfully demand respect from this book jockey without messing up my current situation." [12:10]
- Jake on the story's feel: "This feels like the beginning of a kids or young adult novel." [15:16]
- Gareth on mending fences: "I think you want the credit because I think it helps you with her because you don't want her to think like you had nothing to do with it." [27:45]
- Peyton's concern: "My wife... she wants to call me daddy in bed." [37:31]
- Jake on nickname strategies: "When you're called Daddy by a child... What can I get for you?" [42:33]
- Matthew on his entrepreneurial success: "We set up the Gorilla for Halloween for a kids party... got in the October edition." [61:40]
Conclusion
Episode 149 of We're Here to Help showcases Jake and Gareth's ability to blend humor with practical advice, addressing deeply personal and sometimes unconventional issues. Whether helping a caller navigate workplace bullying or redefining intimate dynamics, the hosts demonstrate empathy and creativity. The episode also highlights successful follow-ups, reinforcing the show's impact and the hosts' commitment to their audience.