152: Garage Talk & Bag of Rice

Summary

Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help – Episode 152: Garage Talk & Bag of Rice

Overview In Episode 152 of We're Here to Help, hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds tackle a diverse array of caller questions, blending humor with heartfelt advice. This episode, titled "Garage Talk & Bag of Rice," delves into personal relationship dilemmas, community events gone awry, and peculiar donation practices. Through engaging conversations and creative brainstorming, Jake and Gareth aim to provide the best advice they can, even when faced with unconventional problems.

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1. Addressing Erectile Dysfunction Surgery Concerns

Caller: Aaron
Topic: Navigating a delicate conversation about his mother's boyfriend Ed's erectile dysfunction surgery.

Summary: Aaron reaches out with a sensitive issue: his mother's boyfriend, Ed, has undergone surgery to address lifelong erectile dysfunction. Aaron is struggling with how to approach the topic, especially after an awkward revelation in a family setting.

Key Points:

• Initial Revelation: Aaron discovers Ed's surgery during a family gathering where Ed confides in him about his condition (10:53).
• Emotional Turmoil: Aaron grapples with feelings of embarrassment and uncertainty about how to support Ed without overstepping.
• Role-Playing Advice: Jake and Gareth engage in a role-playing exercise to help Aaron navigate the conversation, emphasizing sincerity and openness (20:26).

Notable Quotes:

• Jake Johnson: “This is something I could get teased for.” (12:14)
• Gareth Reynolds: “We are all buddies here. Semi rigid rods… the penis can be bent away from the body for sexual activity.” (24:31)

Advice Given:

• Open Communication: Encourage Aaron to have a heartfelt, private conversation with Ed to understand the specifics of the surgery and its impact.
• Understanding Options: Educate Aaron about the two main types of penile implants—semi-rigid rods and inflatable devices—to better grasp Ed's situation.

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2. Managing Community Events and Unexpected Outcomes

Caller: Bryce
Topic: Hosting a farewell party for a treehouse in Sherman Oaks that escalated beyond expectations.

Summary: Bryce shares his experience of organizing a farewell party for a beloved treehouse. What was intended as a modest event quickly ballooned into a massive gathering, attracting media attention and ultimately leading to the treehouse's demolition by city authorities.

Key Points:

• Event Announcement: Bryce’s father publicly announced the party, drawing hundreds of attendees (64:25).
• Media Involvement: The event garnered coverage from major news outlets, including the LA Times and Daily Mail (72:15).
• Unexpected Demolition: Despite successful festivities, the city proceeded to tear down the treehouse due to lack of permits (72:37).

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds: “He had a big pot of jambalaya… Your sister got blackout drunk.” (66:58)
• Jake Johnson: “This episode is not called We're Here to Help. It's just… We're here to give bad ideas.” (67:16)

Advice Given:

• Planning and Permits: Emphasize the importance of securing necessary permits and planning for scalability when organizing events.
• Handling Media Attention: Prepare for unexpected media coverage and manage public relations proactively.

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3. Optimizing Donations for a Food Pantry

Caller: Megan
Topic: Redirecting a donor’s generous but inefficient practice of sending overpriced small food packages.

Summary: Megan, who manages donations for a nonprofit food pantry, is puzzled by a donor who consistently sends single packages of rice or spaghetti, incurring high shipping costs. She seeks advice on how to encourage more impactful donations.

Key Points:

• Donation Pattern: The donor sends one small package monthly, paying $11 for shipping each time (47:21).
• Impact on Budget: Megan highlights that shipping costs outweigh the value of the donated food items.
• Seeking Solutions: She desires to shift the donor's contributions to larger, more cost-effective donations.

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds: “It's really strange. It feels like we're tracking a murderer with a calling card move.” (47:58)
• Jake Johnson: “But you can't tell another human how to spend their money, even if they're puzzling.” (57:30)

Advice Given:

• Personalized Mailers: Create a tailored mailer addressing the donor by name, explaining the inefficiency of their current donation method and suggesting alternatives.
• Bilingual Communication: Consider language preferences to ensure the message resonates, as Megan noted a possible language barrier (55:59).
• Alternative Donation Methods: Encourage the donor to switch to financial contributions, which can be allocated more effectively (49:07).

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4. Creative Problem-Solving and Follow-Up

Interactive Role-Playing: Jake and Gareth demonstrate an interactive approach by role-playing conversations between Aaron and Ed to refine Aaron’s strategy for addressing the sensitive issue. This segment showcases their method of breaking down complex personal dilemmas into manageable discussions.

Community Engagement: The episode also highlights how community events and individual actions can have broader impacts, both positive and negative. From Bryce’s treehouse party to Megan’s donation dilemma, the hosts explore the ripple effects of decisions within a community setting.

Humorous Elements: Throughout the episode, Jake and Gareth infuse humor into their advice, making light of awkward situations without diminishing the seriousness of the callers’ concerns. Their banter adds an entertaining layer to the podcast, keeping listeners engaged.

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5. Conclusion and Takeaways

In this episode of We're Here to Help, Jake and Gareth effectively balance humor with genuine advice, addressing a spectrum of listener concerns. Whether navigating sensitive personal relationships, managing community events, or optimizing donation practices, the hosts offer thoughtful solutions wrapped in their signature comedic style. Notable moments include Aaron’s heartfelt discussion about Ed’s surgery (10:53) and Megan’s strategic approach to improving donation efficiency (55:59).

Final Thoughts:

• Empathy and Understanding: Approach sensitive issues with empathy and a willingness to understand all perspectives.
• Creative Solutions: Think outside the box to find practical solutions to unconventional problems.
• Community Impact: Recognize the broader implications of individual actions within a community context.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Jake Johnson: “This is something I could get teased for.” (12:14)
• Gareth Reynolds: “We are all buddies here. Semi rigid rods… the penis can be bent away from the body for sexual activity.” (24:31)
• Gareth Reynolds: “It's really strange. It feels like we're tracking a murderer with a calling card move.” (47:58)
• Jake Johnson: “But you can't tell another human how to spend their money, even if they're puzzling.” (57:30)

Timestamps:

• 10:53: Aaron reveals Ed's surgery.
• 12:14: Jake’s concern about teasing.
• 24:31: Discussion on penile implants.
• 47:21: Megan details the donation issue.
• 47:58: Gareth compares the donor to a murderer’s calling card.
• 55:59: Megan identifies a potential language barrier.
• 57:30: Jake emphasizes respecting donor’s spending choices.

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Note: This summary captures the essence of Episode 152, focusing on the main discussions and advice provided by Jake and Gareth. For a deeper dive into their interactions and additional content, listeners are encouraged to tune into the full episode.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

Get 20% off your Panera. You pick two. Order on DoorDash with code TRULUNCH, March 3 through March 12. Terms. Apply for full terms. Go to the Panera store page on DoorDash. And we are back. What's the worst pitch you think we've ever given Gareth in the history of this show that has gone? Can you think of one? Because I remember early, we would always talk about how when we would ask them what they were going to do, we were always surprised by the one they took. Is there a call from earlier in our show that you remember that you went like, oh, that's a wild take from these people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't think of one specifically, but I definitely know there are times where if I were to be like, the best friend of the person, I'd be like, don't take that one. Yeah, can you think of one?

[Jake Johnson]

Nothing's really jumping out right now, but I do always feel when we go back, I'm always shocked what people decide to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, also, like, when it. When it works, like thinking about the Today one, the update on Gandalf, that was really the one where it felt.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, oh, because that'll have Airbender. Agreed. Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It felt like we got a little. It felt like we. Because that call. That setup is so good.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that fall after that setup is.

[Jake Johnson]

So bad, by the way, at this point right now, this will be out in March. We still won't know what has happened with Gandalf. And if we will, it'll air after this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's dead. Okay. You and Natalie have to.

[Jake Johnson]

And what is your guys's trauma with ducks that if a duck is gone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For two days, comfy with it, and.

[Jake Johnson]

You'Re also so confident that a disappeared duck means you seem happy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I think it's the only explanation, though. Oh, God.

[Jake Johnson]

Now we need.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to drive to Mat's house and put a fake Gandalf there just to win this.

[Jake Johnson]

So question for you, Rob. So Gandalf sees the statue and leaves, right? So that part of the story you are. You still believe Gandalf is alive, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was.

[Jake Johnson]

So he just then happened to get hit by a truck after he got his feelings hurt after his courtship with me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you saying he took his own life, Rob. He went to look for a new home and then something happened where his home gets thin.

[Jake Johnson]

It's getting thin. You're saying he left the pond across the street?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't do this. Don't do this now.

[Jake Johnson]

But you will admit that you believe that he saw the statue of the duck, got his feelings hurt and went the other direction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think he was probably scared off by another.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, I agree. And so couldn't he then in that time have just found somebody else's leg to hump?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hope so. But.

[Jake Johnson]

But you're so confident. He's dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We need him.

[Jake Johnson]

So the hope so lets me know that in between those ears of yours, Wavy, you think there's a chance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a chance.

[Jake Johnson]

Now we're talking, baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Natalie does not believe that. But there is a chance, Natalie.

[Jake Johnson]

You think there's a chance?

[Megan]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Thank you, Natalie. Hold on.

[Jake Johnson]

Same logic to you, Natalie. Do you believe that the duck saw the statue and was scared off?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think he was so hurt and betrayed. Stop this.

[Bryce]

He went down to the road and he killed himself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He jumped in front of it, Natalie.

[Jake Johnson]

He put himself in front of a car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about this? Next time you think that we're gonna create a duck aside, jump in.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Also, Natalie, you were on that call. You're responsible too. You got duck blood on your hands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You do. You're covered in duck blood. Gandalf's blood runs through your fingers as well. Natalie, I'm not a. I'm not a host.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you. We got you talking. You told us you weren't gonna. This is your second time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So now question for you, Natalie. You really believe so? Because I. I truly in my heart of heart, believes that the pitch worked. Gandalf went back, saw the statue. I don't know I don't know what was going on in Gandalf's head, but whatever it was, he was like, I got to get out of here. So do you believe all of that is true? Up to this point, yeah. So then your logic goes, he was so heartbroken that he didn't go back to the pond where all the ducks go. They sleep, they eat, everything. He went the other direction to the road.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he looked for him and took nine of his friends.

[Jake Johnson]

He. Well, we don't know. There's just. There's all. They say 10 ducks are missing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Strange. It's called migration. It's possible.

[Jake Johnson]

I think it's gotta migration.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really think migration could be a big player in all this. Otherwise this tale is screwier than Gandalf's nine inch penis.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree. Because then we are jumping into. It's insane that a truck killed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are they on strike?

[Jake Johnson]

Also, where are their bodies? Where are the bodies, Rob?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe he ate them. I don't know. Oh yeah, we're doing can. This is absurd.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, so Natalie, question for you too here. Sorry to be Colombo on this one, but one more thing. Where are the 10 duck bodies?

[Bryce]

They were cleaned up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a roadkill service, obviously.

[Bryce]

Natalie, you think Mateo is just out on the road all day looking for bodies?

[Jake Johnson]

That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I drive back and forth across this country. There is no road kill cleanup department. Yeah, believe me.

[Jake Johnson]

Also, what is that department? The road.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got to come out.

[Jake Johnson]

Who's financing that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you. When it comes to budget cuts that went a long time ago.

[Jake Johnson]

Your job is to clean up ducks that got rolled by drugs because they were heartbroken because the guy they were.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Courting put up a weird duck corner. I hate to see it, but I think they probably. They probably moved on.

[Jake Johnson]

This isn't something a government pays for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

While this duck died from truck injuries, I think he passed away from a broken heart a long time ago.

[Bryce]

I don't even know what to say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To follow that story up.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree, I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, maybe it's time we. Maybe it's time we just get to the show. But I think. I think some of us are going to keep a light on in the window for old Gandalf.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I think there's. I think there's going to be a big follow up on it. And I think the. I think the Gandalf story has been one that has piqued the interest of America and the world.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the world. You said he was dead too. That was a while ago. All right, guys. Without further ado.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Aaron]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

How are you?

[Aaron]

Oh, I'm doing great. How are you?

[Jake Johnson]

Great. Welcome to the show.

[Aaron]

We're here to help.

[Jake Johnson]

We appreciate you calling in.

[Aaron]

Yeah, of course.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we get your name, please?

[Aaron]

Yeah, my name is Aaron.

[Jake Johnson]

Aaron. Where. Where are you calling from, Aaron?

[Aaron]

Calling from Northern California.

[Jake Johnson]

What part?

[Aaron]

Kind of outside of Oakland.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, outside of Oakland. You know, I did a thing at Pixar once. Got to spend a lot of time in beautiful Oakland. I love it up there. Went to Alcatraz. Not to brag. It's not about me. It's about you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pixar and Alcatraz. It feels like a lot of you. Details in this intro for him, not excited. Yeah, he really. It's really opening up like you never have before.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know what's happening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody does. Your voice got weird.

[Jake Johnson]

You're being feeling strange. I'm wearing sweatpants. Aaron.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Just take over, man. What's going on today? We're gonna get some details about you as we go. I blew the intro, Aaron. Northern California. You know what I wrote? Like an idiot, I wrote on my little notes, Pixar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So Pixar. So you really. You're now taking notes on yourself in your notebook? Jake Jay used to autograph it.

[Jake Johnson]

Aaron, what's going on, buddy?

[Aaron]

Okay, I've been dealing with something. So about a couple months ago, I was talking to my mom, and she brought up that her boyfriend had a surgery. And I said, oh, you know, what was. What's going on? What's going on with surgery? And she kind of became cagey about it and changed the subject.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

So then a couple weeks go by, and she brings up, you know, we're on the phone again. She brings up that her boyfriend has surgery. And I asked, what's going on? And she said, oh, you know, he had a surgery on his groin. And I said, oh, boy, did he have, like, a sports hernia? What went on? And she didn't really give me any details and kind of changed the subject. But now I'm getting really concerned. You know, what's going on with him? Did something go wrong? So then we finally are all together, me and my wife and my mom and her boyfriend, and the surgery gets brought up again, and I asked, hey, what's going on? And now the boyfriend's there with her, and they both change the subject. So later on that day, I kind of corner her boyfriend, just kind of one on one. I said, hey, I'm concerned about you. What's going on with the surgery? Are you Guys. Okay? And he turned to me and he said, aaron, I've been dealing with erectile dysfunction dysfunction my whole life. And I got a prosthetic penis installed.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a. This can't be real life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Aaron, please.

[Aaron]

This is 100% real.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, hold on.

[Aaron]

On the Bible. On the Bible.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Aaron]

And I completely turned red, and I'm pretty sure I just gave him a thumbs up and walked away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't want to show an erect thumb to the poor guy.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but also, what kind of response is that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, just like, oh, terrific. All right, buddy.

[Jake Johnson]

And then the walkway, mid conversation. I hope you guys were in a room with us. Door like an elevator. You just walk to the other side of the elevator and face the wall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hope you do the wrong exit move where you go the wrong way and have to do the cross back over.

[Jake Johnson]

So. So, dad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, buddy.

[Jake Johnson]

So Mom's boyfriend says he's had a hard time getting erections, and now he's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a hard time.

[Jake Johnson]

He. He got a surgery. Can you explain what the surgery is, Aaron?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll walk you. Oh, go ahead.

[Aaron]

Well, here's where things get even more weird. I. I can't get this out of my head now. So when I get home later that day, I tell my wife, and she's like, oh, my God. You just had to push with the surgery. You had to keep looking for an answer.

[Jake Johnson]

Because, by the way, Aaron, of course you did. You didn't do anything wrong. You're. You're the victim here, brother.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Thank you. So I was concerned, and I walked into a grenade. And my wife is telling me, you know, now every time, you know, we see your mom, and she's smiling and having a good time. We know why. And I'm like, jesus Christ.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you're in a world of trouble, Aaron. You're in a world of trouble.

[Aaron]

We talked to some friends about it, and then that led to all of us researching types of prosthetic inserts. We found there's two types. There's one that's like a metal rod, and then there's one that's inflatable. I don't know which one.

[Jake Johnson]

Metal rod inserted. So you're walking around with an erection 24.

[Gareth Reynolds]

7 all the time.

[Jake Johnson]

How do you get on plane?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's the first question.

[Jake Johnson]

How do you get through tsa?

[Aaron]

These are all questions I don't have the answers to.

[Jake Johnson]

That's fair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Inflatable, meaning you pump it. Pump it.

[Aaron]

Apparently, what we research new.

[Jake Johnson]

That I. We have an inflatable mattress. I Know how to do those that I get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not right.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't get a metal rod in your body at all times giving you a full on erection.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't, I don't either.

[Jake Johnson]

That makes no sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, all right, so, all right, so you've done the, you guys do the research, keep going.

[Aaron]

Then we just start going down weird paths, you know, as friends. Does my mom have some sort of app that she presses a button when she's ready and all of a sudden there it is. We just, we're, we're losing our minds over here and I don't know, I don't know where to go forward with this. I do, I bury it. Do I approach my, my mom with this? What do I do?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so this, this is a first. This is a first, Gareth. And I'll tell you. But I'll tell you why it's a first. The question's pretty open ended. It's I'm in hell, how do I get out? Because I think, I think that's what we're looking at. So essentially, just to recap, and this is more just. I'm going to say it out loud again and see if anything comes up for Gareth and I, just to start it. But mom's boyfriend, how old is this guy?

[Aaron]

He's in the 60s.

[Jake Johnson]

What's, what's, what are we calling him?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ed?

[Aaron]

Yeah, we're not giving real names here.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, okay, we'll call him Ed. And what's Ed's vibe? What does he look like?

[Aaron]

Oh, he's, he's a cool dude.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, just a chill. Cool guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a cool guy.

[Aaron]

My mom's been divorced, you know, twice.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Aaron]

My mom's been divorced twice. She, you know, she met him five, six years ago. They, they've been together ever since and they moved in together and they got a nice thing.

[Jake Johnson]

The problem is, is Ed can't get erections. And your mom's like, I'm not done in that area of my life. And Ed goes, that's what I didn't want to hear. I hear you, but we got. Now, Aaron, unfortunately you called in. We got to talk it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So this is now, this is now a safe space. But what we got to do is we got to go through the fire a little bit to get to the other side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Because we will get to the other side on this one. But we got it. It's going to be uncomfortable for you, for our audience, for us. No one's going to like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I Mean, we're talking about how the guy your mom is dating had a surgery on his penis so he can bang her. I mean, this is not going to be.

[Jake Johnson]

This is classic Jake Pam stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, we're good. We're good here.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, what did you do when your mom and I first through this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It didn't happen.

[Jake Johnson]

She. Surgery. When she asked me to shrink.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, not true.

[Jake Johnson]

All right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is swim trunks. When the water clings to you, there's no surgery there.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, because you have goggles on. You stay underwater the whole time to watch me get out of the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm talking about when you get out of the pool. And the. The water suctions to you. I saw. I know.

[Jake Johnson]

The only guy who would say that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guys pull on him right away is.

[Jake Johnson]

Not a guy who likes the size of his crotch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. You know, the move you get out of the pool, first thing you do.

[Jake Johnson]

Is, you know, random. See that. That won't scare. That won't scare people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nature's not going to X ray me.

[Jake Johnson]

This isn't about us, though. Again, it's about you. It's not about Oakland and Alcatraz and the way our shorts look when we get out of pools.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This isn't a Pixar call, so.

[Jake Johnson]

Aaron, your mom's with Ed. What are we calling Mom? So if she. If he's Ed, what's she.

[Aaron]

She can be Phyllis.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Phyllis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Somehow really works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So Ed's going through some surgeries. You keep asking what's happening, and finally he says he got this surgery. Do we know if the surgery was successful?

[Aaron]

I have no idea. I know that he's healed.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. There.

[Aaron]

There was a time. That's why I kept getting brought up, you know. Oh, you know, I need to check on my boyfriend, make sure, like, he. You know, he's doing okay. He might need a couple, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Check on him.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I got to say, I'm going to tell you, Aaron, my first instinct is I think we got to go all the way through. I think I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's. That's exactly what I really.

[Jake Johnson]

That's where I. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think the. I think it's too. What you're living now. What you're living in now is the nebulous version, which sometimes is almost worse than the closure version.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you want to know the actual reality. I think the reality is that it took and you know.

[Jake Johnson]

But you need the details because you're living in the. The scariest part of a horror movie is before you see the Monster. Once you see the monster, you go like this. That's okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you. Yeah, whip it out. I agree. Let's.

[Jake Johnson]

But all of a sudden, you're just hearing sounds. You're hearing footsteps. Your character's in a hallway. You don't know. All of a sudden, your mother in a pair of lingerie. Sorry. Thinking of Pam is all of a sudden pressing buttons. And then all of a sudden, this robot dick goes like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Jake, living in the version in a version that isn't real, but explain why. Repeat what you just said, and I'll explain where it goes off the rails.

[Jake Johnson]

The mother presses a button, and the robot dick crawls out of Ed's pants like alien.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just going like, there you go, right there.

[Jake Johnson]

How.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right there, where it's crawling out of the pants, acting like an alien does. I think, what. My guess, we got a rod put in. My guess is we just got a rod put in.

[Jake Johnson]

But what is it? What are the mechanics of it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's like you said, it's pretty straightforward. I think he's dealing with 247 wood.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Aaron.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What's your relationship with Ed? You guys text buddies?

[Aaron]

Oh, occasionally we'll, you know, ask each other questions, but we're not going out to lunch together, just the two of us.

[Jake Johnson]

So when you were in the room with them, can you walk us through exactly what happened again?

[Aaron]

So he wanted to show me something cool with his car in the garage. So I figured that's the perfect time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His penis on a lift, changing things up here.

[Jake Johnson]

A guy who has his surgery says to me, I want to show you something cool in my garage. I'm saying, pass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am also.

[Jake Johnson]

I think I'm good with everybody else in the living room, my man. All right, so he wants to show you something in the. Cool. You guys go. Keep walking us through it.

[Aaron]

Yeah. And then I just ask again. Hey, you know, I'm. I'm concerned. Are you okay, you know, with this surgery? I. I don't really know what's going on. And then that's when he turned and told me what he said that he'd been dealing with that for. For a while. And so how did he got this installed?

[Jake Johnson]

Will you. Will you try to use the exact words as you can remember? Can we do something, Gareth? Will you be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, be Aaron?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And then will you try Ed? Will you try Aaron to be Ed? So we. And maybe put a little heat on how Ed actually talks so we can get an image of this to actually try to get a real Picture. But if. If. If Gareth starts going in a direction that isn't what really happened. Ed, I'm giving you, Aaron, I'm giving you the power to say cut or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or just to soft direct. You don't have to cut. I mean, we're rolling. Jesus Christ.

[Jake Johnson]

It's on video.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You ever been on a set?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, it's on video. Let's cut. It's unus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I was wrong. You're always. You always want as many options.

[Jake Johnson]

You always want as many going down to the edit as you'd going down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would. That's why I'm gonna nail it. I'm just saying.

[Jake Johnson]

And cut.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Want them cut.

[Jake Johnson]

You're already not like Aaron.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, here we go.

[Jake Johnson]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ready? Ready, Aaron?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Action. Oh, yeah. So how's everything been going? Are you doing all right?

[Aaron]

Aaron, I just want to tell you something that I've been dealing with, Ed, kind of my whole life. And we decided that I was going to get a prosthetic inserted into my penis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're good.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, is that the not so you're good? Weird question, by the way. Alone in a garage after that, saying, so you're good. You're hitting on him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, by the way. By the way, if we're giving direction, a little more build up. No, my guy, get in a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

No, by the way, we're giving direction, Aaron. Perfect. Now, Gareth response is so good. Is as weird of a response as you could get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm giving you options. Let me do more. No, I. I'll get another one. Let me do another one.

[Jake Johnson]

I got a percent. I put it there. So you're good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got another one.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on. So, Aaron, is that really what happened?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awesome.

[Aaron]

Yeah, he kind of. He kind of whispered a little bit to me.

[Jake Johnson]

Wow.

[Aaron]

Yeah, he whispered to me. And like I told you, I just gave him a thumbs up.

[Jake Johnson]

And you walked out of the garage.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I gave him a thumbs up. I said, cool. And then we went back. This is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a shocking. Your. Your reaction age is worse and worse. That is a shocking reaction, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

Everything is shocking. So every.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every. I mean, he must have lost his mind when you gave him the thumbs up.

[Jake Johnson]

I would have, but also to. To share. That is shocking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then you leave. Have you talked to him since then?

[Aaron]

I mean, we've seen each other, but hold on.

[Jake Johnson]

Or. Aaron, we're jumping. We're jumping. And I'm sorry, just because this stuff's important to me, you say, awesome, Give a thumbs Up. You walk out of the garage. Is this accurate?

[Aaron]

Yeah, that's how I remember it. I. I either said awesome or cool. One of the two.

[Jake Johnson]

Same difference. So you walk out, then you're in his house. Eventually he's got to come back in the house. What's the transition back into just civilization.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Run into the woods?

[Aaron]

Yeah, he came back in after me. And then I buried that information until I got home and told my wife.

[Jake Johnson]

Until you guys then just went back to whatever it is you guys were talking about. The 45 minutes to an hour and a half, however long the hang was. Just didn't bring it up again.

[Aaron]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so. And then you have not brought it up with him or your mom since.

[Aaron]

Nope.

[Jake Johnson]

You talked about it with your wife. You and your friends and your wife. You've kind of got into this. You've gone a little bit of deep. You're living in Apocalypse now right now. Your head's spinning, you don't know what's up and what's down. You decide to call on a podcast. You have made the right call and that's where we're at right now.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Holy Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I, I did a little research real quick and the, the rod one is basically what we're saying it is. A semi hard rod that always stays that way. And it looks like the way you deal with it is you just kind of tuck it. Remember like when you're in like junior high and you'd get a yes, you know, semi hard yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And then lives in this from the research and I can't believe you're our research guy. Yeah, but from our.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Things are bad.

[Jake Johnson]

But from our. From. Will you walk us through what it's saying? How that, like honestly how that works?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Because I can't wrap my. Honestly don't wrap my mouth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm worried about the future of my pop up ads. I'll be honest with you.

[Jake Johnson]

What you have done on that computer is way worse than right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And there's no need to come attack me. I'm. I'm your buddy here. We're all buddies here. Semi rigid rods, semi rigid devices are always firm. The penis can be bent away from the body for sexual activity.

[Jake Johnson]

And we have an image. It'll go on the ig, obviously, but there's a semi. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A nice. That's perfect. Thanks for that, Rob.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, interesting. So what. So what it basically is looks like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A half peeled banana.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So it can go up or it can go down and there's probably some device that could do it. Okay, so this is soft penile implant.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then malleable inflatable devices, which are the most common, can be inflated to create an erection. At other times, three piece inflatable implants use fluid filled reservoir implanted under the abdominal wall. Holy.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A pump and a release valve can be placed inside the scrotum with two inflatable cylinders inside the penis.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a good.

[Aaron]

That's what we researched. Like a button that you can press under the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's this one.

[Jake Johnson]

And so I wonder. I hope the buttons like in the. On, on like in the choat. Right under the walls.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I hope it's. You're talking about like a kill switch.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I hope it's not like a remote control because guess what? Imagine if you lost it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Oh, my. Or just, you know, some people have a remote bin when you walk into their room and I'm trying to turn the volume up. Stop hitting that one. Don't hit that one again. That's not volume up.

[Jake Johnson]

You're. You're wrestling with Ed and somebody hits the remote. No, I really hope it's a button right under the balls that, you know, you gotta get. You gotta kind of like, you know, if you're like, dryer needs to be reset, you have to like open up a weird cover, put your hand in and like find the little like button. Yeah, I want it to be like that. So that thing's only turning on if mom's getting her hand rolling up her sleeves and getting her hand in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's nice. That's good for you.

[Aaron]

One of my friends brought the point with technology, like, does my mom have an app now where she just presses a button and.

[Jake Johnson]

Incredible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Risky.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. But also, I will say this. First of all, modern medicine's incredible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, this is good.

[Jake Johnson]

This changes a lot. When my dad had prostate cancer and they removed his prostate, he called all sad and he said, they killed my dick. So seeing this, I'm like, man, they could have put this right in croco and we could have had an app. That would have been a lot of fun for the big guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not too late.

[Jake Johnson]

It is too late. He's passed away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean. Okay, yeah, fair enough.

[Jake Johnson]

What are you gonna do it in the ground?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, let's. There's. Listen, let's. Let's stay focused.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, you know, it's really gross if you die and the machine still works. That's a prank for the open.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If it's an open.

[Jake Johnson]

Open casket. When, when, like a girl. When One of, like, his girlfriends goes up. His old girlfriend, the wife goes up. Nothing like his first girlfriend goes up the priest. So let's figure out. Let's figure out what we're doing now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think your instinct is right, which is I think you just want closure on it. What I would do is I would keep it between you and Ed, and I would. I would say, this is what I would do. I would get another moment alone with him. Steal another moment alone with him. I would say, hey, you know, last time we talked about your surgery, I don't think I gave you the response that was fair. How are you doing? Are things okay?

[Jake Johnson]

You would lean into the sincerity, and I would.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And I would get a little more information. I would find out it's inflatable. I would find out that it's working, and I would just come to terms with the fact that my mother is now getting hammered by a kid's party boy.

[Jake Johnson]

I have a crazy pitch that's somewhat like that, Aaron, but I need to know if, When I start this, if you're a no, cut me off. We don't need to waste time on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I, by the way, I will say I, I love where he's going already.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And this could be show history.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This could be big for the show.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, well, this is a real pitch, in my opinion. But it. The reason I say that is if you don't feel that way, then it's a bad pitch, and let's abort, because this is something I could get teased for. Aaron, would you ever consider lying to Ed and saying that you also have Ed and asking him, saying, hey, man, can I talk to you privately, just between us? And he'd go, sure. And go, I think it's really brave what you went through and you talking, but this is something that I struggle with. Can you walk me through the procedure? What happened? What do you got? Does it work? You know, it's obviously awkward, but I just need to know the details of this for us to see if this is something I ever want to do.

[Aaron]

So, I, I like where you're coming from. But then my first thought is, he's gonna then tell my mom that I got Ed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I gotta pitch off of that. First of all. That doesn't matter.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what, your mom thinks you gotta. She's dating a guy who's got a limp one.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. But also, Aaron, like, who cares if your mom.

[Aaron]

Yeah, now she's gonna see me and, like, give me a pat on the back. And be like, it's okay, son.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who doesn't want to pat on their back from mommy?

[Jake Johnson]

Adult men.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Jake, jump ship there. How about this? How about we do this? How about you get a moment alone with Ed? We will. One of us right now will make a voice memo for you, and you can play it for Ed. And you basically set it up as you told a buddy about Ed's surgery to another couple friends of yours, just kind of asking what they knew about it.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And one of your friends reached out privately with a voice memo asking for advice, and maybe if you could ask Ed to tell him what to do next. And so that way you get insight into Ed's procedure without really prying.

[Aaron]

Interesting.

[Jake Johnson]

I've got another one. I got another pitch. This is a weird one. What if we tried to get Ed on the show?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Show history.

[Aaron]

Oh, I. No, I think he'd be too embarrassed.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I understand, I understand. Here's what I'm trying to get to Aaron, and I think this is what Gareth. Gareth just wants to do the voice note. But here's what.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want Ed on the show more.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I. Well, here's what I think we really want more than anything, and I can say that for us, is to see what the follow up in the second half of this is, because I think there's too much info here. Like, Aaron, we can't officially give you advice. Our advice to you is we need to get more information from Ed, and we might have to go. We might have to run a mile to go a block. So here's. Here's what my real advice is. Can you text him?

[Aaron]

I can, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So what I would suggest is we create a text to start the conversation with Ed, and then we're gonna need a follow up to go to the next step. Is that. Gareth, what are you thinking when I say that? Like, let's think about Aaron as a real guy. We don't want to put him in a bad situation. We don't want it more awkward.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just thinking for the best, shortest path, like making a guy text it out. Feels like. Here's why it's weird, because then Ed goes to Phyllis and goes, hey, no.

[Jake Johnson]

I have a pitch. I have a pitch. Okay, Aaron, you text Ed. Hey, pal. Thinking about your surgery, wondering, has it been successful? You doing okay because you didn't handle it correctly. He confided in you, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you're not all the information out of it.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but we're starting. Or what is that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would go. I would I would do the corner. I would do the corner and be like, let's get it all out on the table. You would do a balloon in your.

[Jake Johnson]

You do it in person?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I would do it. I would almost replicate the first version of it. And instead of the thumbs up, awesome, storm out.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, let's do this. Let's do this for real. You do. You are Aaron. Okay, and then, Aaron, will you be editing?

[Aaron]

Here we go again.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, and then this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me breathe a little out there.

[Jake Johnson]

Can you give us the kind of pitch that when the next time you think you'll see him is.

[Aaron]

Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

When is the next time you'll kind of see him?

[Aaron]

I don't know. We usually see my mom and him probably twice a month.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you'll probably be at the house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Got a minute? Okay.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, here we go. Ready? We're in the garage. We've sidebarred somehow. We're in the garage again.

[Aaron]

Back in the garage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back in the garage. Where it all started. Where I gave the thumbs up and said, cool. All right. Hey, Ed, I was wondering, are you doing better physically? I know you had that procedure. How are things?

[Aaron]

Oh, Aaron, thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm all healed up, and things are going great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, good. I'm glad to hear that. I know the last time you told me, maybe I got a little uncomfortable, but, you know, I just was not expecting that answer. I actually have a friend who had. I. When I talked to him a little bit about this, he has a similar situation. He was wondering, what exactly was the procedure like, and he's wondering, would you recommend it? Like, what did they do?

[Aaron]

Well, the procedure was pretty quick and easy, but the recovery was. Was a while, and we went with the inflatable option.

[Jake Johnson]

I gotta jump in. Oh, I gotta jump in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is there a remote?

[Jake Johnson]

So I'm gonna try this aversion. You and me. I want to go away from the friend. It reminds me of the. I've got. My friend has a problem. My friend stole. And you go, we know there's no friend. It's you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Voicemail helps, so let's try again.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm gonna try being you. Your Ed, we're back in the garage. Hey, Ed. What's going on?

[Aaron]

Oh, doing great.

[Jake Johnson]

Nice, man. I love loving what you're doing with this car. Thanks for showing it to me.

[Aaron]

Yeah, thanks. Put a lot of time into it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I could tell. Hey, man, I just want to say, how's everything going with that surgery? Did everything turn out okay?

[Aaron]

Oh, thanks for asking.

[Jake Johnson]

Aaron, you got it out of the way?

[Aaron]

Yeah, everything's good. I'm all healed up.

[Jake Johnson]

No way. Great. And, you know, it's obviously an uncomfortable thing, but is it all working?

[Aaron]

It's working just as we hope it would.

[Jake Johnson]

Ah, good for you. Good for you. Hey, what'd you do? You do the pump?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You went with the pump over the rod? Yeah. Why'd you do that? Why'd you choose that? Because, you know, I've looked at it. You know, the rod seems less invasive. Oh, with. Is there a button underneath the balls? Where'd you put the butter?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, guys, it's me, Phyllis. I made some lemonade. Sorry it took me so long to walk over here. I'm in a bit of pain. I have lemonade inside if you guys want it. It feels like this conversation should be over.

[Jake Johnson]

My hips are killing me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One of my hips is out of socket.

[Jake Johnson]

In a good way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the best way possible.

[Jake Johnson]

Pressing the remote. So, Aaron, what are you gonna. How are you gonna do this, man? How are you gonna get more information out of Ed?

[Aaron]

I think our, you know, role playing has helped. I think just kind of asking him, you know, how's it going then? And then how. How does that work? Because I don't know anything about it.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's try. Let's try this for a second because, you know, both characters. Let's do a little bit of Eddie Murphy for a second. And will you play both characters? Will you play you, Aaron, and Ed and try to give us a very real read of how it might go down so we can maybe give notes on it?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I could try.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you are now both characters. You don't have to say. And then he said. He said, we can tell that there'll be slightly different voices.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

But you are now in the garage looking at the car with your mother's boyfriend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's got a penile imp.

[Aaron]

Hey, Ed. How's it going? The car looks great. Oh, thanks, Aaron. You know, always trying to make it better and trying to get the car to where I want it to be. Hey, Ed, I. I really apologize about the way I handled our last discussion about your private situation, and I just wanted to follow up and make sure you're doing okay and make sure that everything's working in the way it should. Oh, thanks, Aaron. I. I appreciate it. Yeah, everything's good. I'm all healed up, and the procedure worked, and we are moving forward, me and your mom, together, the way that we wanted. I can't believe I'm saying this out Loud. Dear God.

[Jake Johnson]

Aaron, please keep going. You're doing a wonderful job. You gotta. This is where you gotta now put your closet and make your move.

[Aaron]

And speaking of that, Ed, I was just curious about how does this whole thing work? How. How does a surgery like this go through or. There are different ways to accomplish this. What happens here? Well, Aaron, I don't want to get into too many details, but there's a metal rod version and there's an inflatable version. And I decided to get surgery on the inflatable version because it seemed to be less invasive on my body. Oh, that's great, Ed. So is how. How does it inflate? Well, the. Aaron, there's a. There's a little button underneath my scrotum that I can.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, push. And you're in a money zone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A wrist throat control.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's what we need you to do. And I say this now, seriously, I. I think you're ready for this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well done.

[Jake Johnson]

Well done. The reason I wanted to hear you do it is to hear if this was going to be a danger zone. I think you got it. I think what we need to do, and I think you need to follow up with us. Can you please. And I don't think we should record it. I think that would be too embarrassing for Ed. I think we just. I think you have to actually just do it and report back to us and maybe you do both voices. I want to keep Ed's privacy private on this, but I think, Aaron, you're ready for this chat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do, too.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you should do it asap. Then when you get all the information, keep your vibe as your vibe. You're not. You're just getting the information because he had surgery. You know, if you have surgery, people ask questions. Just because his surgery is about getting a pump in. To give a thumbs up and walk away is creating a weird thing. He was confiding in you. So let him get it all out. Ask all the natural questions, and then there's going to be a real natural pitch after that. And the pitch will probably be. Now that you know everything, great, it's over. This is what they choose to do. Sounds cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would steer clear of words like cool and awesome. I agree. But. But I think that's right.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you just gotta get to the other side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's uncomfortable for him. I mean, you're talking about a blimp in his. Yeah, like, this is not. Don't just remember, like, if it's big.

[Jake Johnson]

Enough, it might be uncomfortable for her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it very well, could be. Probably is. And don't be afraid to ask if he.

[Jake Johnson]

If she picked the size.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, she was involved on it.

[Jake Johnson]

But I would say, Aaron, you can see the remote.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you play with the remote?

[Jake Johnson]

But I would for sure. Aaron, have this talk with him and then call us back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Aaron]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

How you feeling about it?

[Aaron]

I. Yeah, I. I think, you know, making sure that he knows that I'm somebody safe he could talk to about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Aaron]

I think that the next progression will just be trying to work through.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that.

[Aaron]

That's happening to my mother, but.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, guess what? She probably pushed him into doing it. It's here's mother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop talking for a little bit. Here's the reality of it. Any. Any woman your mother's age who's with a man that age normally probably has some version of this going on, whether.

[Jake Johnson]

It'S Viagra or a woman Garrett's mother's age is with a man my age.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks for the call, buddy. Keep us posted. Okay.

[Aaron]

All right, thank you, guys.

[Jake Johnson]

See you, buddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, bud, talk to you later.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah, I am currently planning a trip right now to Chicago, and I am using booking.com to find the hotel for me, and it is making it very easy. Gareth, you use booking.com to find where you're going to stay on the road? Correct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I use booking.com all over this great nation of ours to find places to stay because I know I'm going to be able to find exactly what I'm looking for. So I told the story recently how I had a show just outside of. Well, I had a show in Vegas and I did not want to stay in Las Vegas. And on booking.com I found, like, what I think was, like a five star resort in the middle of nowhere for a rate that I could not get over and just had the best time. Drove like 45 minutes after the show. I was there for two nights and just felt much more at ease than staying right down there on the Las Vegas Strip. No shade. I'm just old. Not that old. Anyway, find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking.com. yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. Therapy has been something that has been very important to me, but more important than that is finding the right therapist, because if you got the wrong one, you're just wasting your time. So Alma has helped me find a therapist that actually takes my insurance, and it's made everything very easy. Alma makes it simple to find a therapist. 97% of people seeing a therapist through Alma said that their therapist makes them feel seen and heard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know the deal. It's very difficult to find someone you can trust, someone you feel a human connection to, someone that's kind of an irreplaceable part of your mental health. But that's why Alma has real people. Mental health challenges can be very difficult. You can feel alone. But take a break from scrolling for nothing and scroll through Alma's directory to find a therapist who meets your specific needs. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit hello Alma.com here to help to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello a l m a.com hereto help alma.com here to help.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode is sponsored by the crisp, refreshing Angry Orchard. Listen, guys, there's a litany of things that we shouldn't get angry about. But let's be honest, sometimes it's hard not to be. Don't get angry at Lamorne Morris for lying, for being a cheater, a faker, a liar. Don't get mad at Lamorne Morris for not being able to finish a hike. Don't get angry at his sidekick Kyle for shaving his mustache because Lamorne bullied him. Instead, get an Angry Orchard and feel good, feel chill and refreshed, not getting pissed off, just having a tasty orchard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Angry Orch Angry Bird is the number one hard cider in the country. It's naturally refreshing, delicious, and has just the right amount of sweetness that makes it the perfect drink when you're looking for something a little different. Angry Orchard has a bright, crisp apple flavor, just like biting into a fresh apple. Perfect balance of sweetness and bright acidity from culinary apples and dryness of traditional cider making apples, resulting in a complex yet refreshing hard cider. Grab an Angry Orchard cider today. Don't get angry. Get orchard. Please drink responsibly.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi, welcome to the show.

[Megan]

Hi.

[Jake Johnson]

How you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. Hi.

[Megan]

I'm good. How are you guys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi.

[Jake Johnson]

We're just getting off a big call about Mateo and the duck and Gandalf and what's happening and it's been a little heavy on our end.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you familiar with the Matteo?

[Megan]

Yes. I can't wait for the update on that.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not, we're not going to tell you. We're not going to tell you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can wait.

[Jake Johnson]

But you know, it's a, it's a, it's an interesting story, so. But this isn't about Mateo and his duck with his nine inch penis. This is about which we saw you. Can we get the, can we get your name, please?

[Megan]

Okay, I'm gonna use a fake name. I'm Megan. That's actually my best friend who introduced me to your show.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, and when did she do the introduction?

[Megan]

Probably a year ago.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Look at you. So, Megan, and about how old are you?

[Megan]

I'm about 30.

[Jake Johnson]

About 30. And where do you live?

[Megan]

About Las Vegas.

[Jake Johnson]

Vegas. You a gambler?

[Megan]

Occasionally.

[Jake Johnson]

What, what's your favorite casino?

[Megan]

Yeah, the Cosmopolitan.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, you got any questions for Megan or should we get going?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I think we should just get going. I, I, yeah, Cosmo throws me for a loop, but go ahead. What's going on, Megan?

[Megan]

Okay, so I work at a nonprofit and we have a free food pantry and we often get donations of food, you know, food drives that I coordinate and record all of our donations for the last six months. There's a guy that regularly mails us a single package of rice. And like, that's nice. We appreciate donations, big or small. But I always noticed that he pays 11 doll and shipping. And this is like a two dollar bag of rice. He's mailing it from within Las Vegas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, we got a picture here.

[Megan]

It's nice. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, so we have, we have a big box and in the box it's a, you know, a full size box and there's one package of spaghetti. Spaghetti, Is that it?

[Megan]

Oh, yeah. So it's, it was always rice and then the last one was spaghetti.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so, so, but it's a huge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Box with very little yield. Like just a small item. Like, was that spaghetti that we're seeing that is just sitting on top of a lot of paper the only thing in a box that size?

[Megan]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And so the shipping cost 11 bucks, but the rice or the spaghetti cost 2 to 4 bucks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And he lives in Vegas.

[Jake Johnson]

Really weird stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very strange.

[Jake Johnson]

And how often is this guy sending these packages?

[Megan]

At least once a month for the last six months.

[Jake Johnson]

Really weird guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really weird. It feels like we're tracking like a murderer. Like, we're like, this is like he's got a calling card move.

[Jake Johnson]

It's just the weirdest calling card move.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really strange to just do one thing. Okay, keep going.

[Megan]

Well, I guess my problem is I'm looking for a solution to maybe redirect him and his generosity. Ideally, it would be great if I could just get him to be a monthly donor of the nonprofit. Like, could he just donate $11 to.

[Bryce]

Us every month or 13 as opposed to this 13.

[Megan]

Yeah. Like I would settle for just having him donate the food in a cheaper way.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Megan]

Either way. It just does makes me crazy. I mean, I appreciate it. I want to be.

[Jake Johnson]

This makes a lot of sense, though. Go ahead, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a pitch. I. Let me ask you this, Megan. Do you have any. I do. The return address on the box, is it a residence?

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I got.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. I'm glad we got it. Go ahead, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is what I would do. I would make it seem like you've sent out a mailer and do it so that it's just to him, but you're making it seem like, hey, it's us at whatever the name of the place is. The.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you so much for being a monthly donor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We appreciate the donations. We're trying a new thing where we move in the direction of less food drop offs and more donations so that we can, you know, use it for whatever is it.

[Jake Johnson]

Or Gareth. Or Gareth comma. Because we have found a lot of people are overspending on shipping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

That shipping isn't going to. It's being. We're finding the majority of our people are losing more money on shipping than they are in donating the food.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I was basically gonna say. It's like the idea here is that whatever you're spending on shipping costs or your package costs, could you just donate that to the non profit, something like that. Drop that off at his place.

[Jake Johnson]

Go mail it. Right. You can mail it, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, yeah, sure, mail it. Sure. If you want to do that.

[Jake Johnson]

Because drop it off. He had made it a really weird turn. Listen, I was gonna say I wouldn't go there. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Living as. Live in his yard. And, and, and, yeah. So mail it. See if you like, you could put an email address or a phone number, see if you can get him online or see if he just starts donating that money. But it definitely seems like his heart's in the right place. It's just kind of crazy. But just do one thing that makes it seem like it's a massive male.

[Jake Johnson]

But I really like that idea, Megan. I like that it's a. A letter to all. But I would also make it specifically to his name as well. So it's like you're. You're getting this along with many others who.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or you could do a deer with a line and his name could be written in there.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, exactly. Right. So it feels like more people got it.

[Megan]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Megan]

Like this was a mass printing and.

[Bryce]

Then I just filled in his name exactly right.

[Jake Johnson]

But in going through our monthly donations, we have found you are one of the people who. The shipping seems to be cutting into the expenses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even think you need to get that. No, I think you would just say we're trying. We. You know, we're trying to cater to the tastes of our members more and more. So for what you're spending on shipping, can you just donate that to our fund?

[Jake Johnson]

P.S. you're a weirdo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

P. S. We dropped this off.

[Jake Johnson]

P.S. you put one thing of rice for two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We call you spaghetti clown.

[Jake Johnson]

Goofball. Be less of a goofball. But you got a good heart. You got a good heart, but you're a goofball, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But. But really, that's a very. It's like. It's all really wild stuff. It's all tissue paper, then it's eight grains of rice.

[Jake Johnson]

But, Megan, what do you think of that? Pretending it's a big email. I mean, pretending it's a. A mass letter, but then specifically to him and asking, rather than spend the shipping, to donate just the money or to drop it off. Now, I wouldn't say drop it off in person, but donate the money. What's your thought?

[Megan]

Yeah, I mean, that might get his attention. So I did try one thing where I did send him a thank you card, like a handwritten thank you card that said something along the lines of, we appreciate your food donation. Please give us a call, and we can discuss the other ways you can support the work we do.

[Jake Johnson]

And he didn't.

[Megan]

And he never called me.

[Jake Johnson]

I wouldn't call either if I got that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wouldn't either.

[Jake Johnson]

But I'll tell you why, Megan, I'm already given the rice and the spaghetti. What? I got a call to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the thing you don't want to.

[Jake Johnson]

Think of rice last month.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I'm a wonderful guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This would be the hail Mary. The hail Mary move would be you and someone else in shirts that show that you work at the nonprofit. Go to his door and have a clipboard and act like you're going around and trying to get people in person to swap from sending in donations to giving in giving a cash donation month.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm with a. Hmm. Too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, the thing is, we don't know where he's getting it.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's what. Here's my thought.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Send him a huge box, and in the middle of the box, there's this tiny thank you card surrounded by papers. And then it's just a small card saying, we're just sending this to Everybody who donates, we appreciate it. And he goes, why such a big box?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God, I gotta deal with.

[Jake Johnson]

The box and all these papers. That's insane. And maybe he'll go, I gotta take it easy with the packaging.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, I do, kind of. I, here's what I would do. Start with the one where you pretend like it's a mass mailer.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I move as your second. I think do something. Like, if you did something like that and you like, it is such a subversive way to be. Like, buddy, it's not a lot in this box.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a lot of, this is a lot of box to deal with, my guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a box place.

[Jake Johnson]

But by the way, it's also a pain in the ass. You got to break it down. It fills your recycling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Imagine him having that revelation, like, hey, there's a lot of stuff around. Just this one thing. Wait a minute. That's kind of what I do.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Megan]

Maybe he just really likes the post office.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe. I mean, look, we can't get in the head of all these people. But I, I think I, I, that's what I would do. I would do one where you make it seem like a mass mailer. And then the followup is I would literally just a, a, a huge box. Maybe even one of the boxes he sends, put all the tissue paper and there's just one little card that says.

[Jake Johnson]

Says thank you for your don.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Monthly donations runs.

[Megan]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sometimes we feel like we hit home runs and we get the bunt reaction.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Or at least a double. What do you think? Megan, where are you at on this?

[Megan]

I mean, hey, I'm just thrilled I'm calling in.

[Jake Johnson]

No, Maggie, no, no. We have a higher ceiling. This is about, this is about success. So what do you think about these pitches? And are you actually going to do it?

[Megan]

Well, I wouldn't be opposed to mailing him. I like the mailer idea.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, I think that works and making.

[Megan]

It seem like it's not targeted to him. It does. Hey, everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Megan]

Oh, but one of my co workers, we did notice that he does have a Hispanic name and we have a very large, like, Spanish speaking population. She actually thought maybe he doesn't. Maybe he only speaks Spanish and maybe that's why he didn't respond to my thank you card.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, that's interesting. Well, then why don't you write a card in English and one in Spanish?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Is that.

[Megan]

Seems like if I do the mailer, I'd have to do maybe like a bilingual mailer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Call it the Bilingual mailer.

[Jake Johnson]

And if that doesn't work, sending a big box. Where's your head at? Did or are you looking for a crazy idea? Where are you at? Let's get in touch with you here for a second. You called us. We didn't call you.

[Bryce]

Right.

[Megan]

Yeah, I like the mailer idea. I mean, I was also thinking, like, I don't. Would it be crazy to, like, make a donation box? Like a food donation box that just happens to now be located in that neighborhood?

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lot of work.

[Jake Johnson]

That would be insane, Meg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a lot of work.

[Megan]

Yeah. I just realized I don't want to go drive.

[Jake Johnson]

And you have to go drive over there. You have to get, like, the legal rights where you could be. Unless you put a donation box right at his door.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He would do that. You're talking. We're talking about little work for high yield. That's what we're going for.

[Jake Johnson]

This sounds like you don't work at the place. It sounds like you're the one who sends the rice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Oh, my God. The ultimate.

[Jake Johnson]

And this is a weird turn. You're going. You're basically calling in to go. Like, am I weird?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, I get why he does it. I mean, it seems cool.

[Jake Johnson]

So I wouldn't do a weird box in his neighborhood. I wouldn't go to his house. I wouldn't do the thing where you pretend to be going door to door. Yeah. If all. If what? In the end, what he wants to do is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Send one thing of rice and spend $11. Look, you can't tell another human how to spend their money, even if they're puzzling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's puzzling, but this is Vegas. We're wasting a lot of money on Dumber.

[Jake Johnson]

But what I would do is I. I would put in a letter very clearly that. See? And we could help you write it if you want. But the idea of it would be, we have found people are overspending on shipping and your generosity of spirit. We want that. Get that into food and not into shipping. So perhaps you could wait an extra month and make sure the boxes are pretty packed up. Because he might be on a tight budget, and all he can afford right now is one thing is spaghetti. And guess what? That's really generous. It is, but we're basically saying to him, hey, man, don't spend the nine bucks to ship it. My man, wait three months. Rather than send one thing a month, send all of them once in six months.

[Megan]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Megan, what do you say? What do you hate Meghan, You Got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One of those reactions where no matter what we do, it feels like we're falling short. Now, is that just your reaction or are you like, nah, none of these are working for me.

[Megan]

Well, I think that's good. I think I'm just, like, trying to be mindful of it because I don't get fired for doing something wrong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I don't think there's nobody wants to be fired.

[Jake Johnson]

When you called in, what were you hoping for? To get a promotion?

[Megan]

No, I. I really didn't think of that idea. So I really was thinking, like, what other ideas, like.

[Jake Johnson]

But I would go. Yeah, I'll go. Really nice, though. Thank you so much. Yeah, Very kind. Very appreciative. And then turn with the alternative ways and then end with. Or if you want to continue doing it how you're doing it, that is fine, too. We appreciate so much. Everything that everybody does. Helps our organization so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

P.S. this letter went to a lot of people.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Not just you. And then say his name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not just you we're trying to get to the bottom of.

[Jake Johnson]

And those two people in blue shirts outside who are volunteers. Putting a little box outside. Yeah, we're doing that to everybody's house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're actually putting donation boxes on everyone's lawn.

[Jake Johnson]

Just so you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just so you know, don't fit that. That, like, weird. Weird. It's not just targeted.

[Jake Johnson]

Also, two dollar rice in a big box. So weird, man. We say that to everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, let us.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, hold on. Megan, how do you feel about this plan? Are you gonna really do it or do you want some more pitches? Where are you at?

[Megan]

I think I can make a mailer because I'm pretty good with, like, graphic design stuff that I could make a mailer that looks like it's just a normal mailer.

[Jake Johnson]

I love this.

[Megan]

I could make a pretty convincing one.

[Jake Johnson]

I love this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's the move.

[Jake Johnson]

And how about this? Let's do this. If you do the mailer and it offends this guy and he doesn't send anything back, and you feel like, oh, no, I just blew some donations. Then write into the show and we'll figure out another solution. And the show will donate $100 worth of pasta, and we'll make two years worth of this guy's donations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. We'll make it clean and easy.

[Jake Johnson]

Right. So you won't lose in this situation. We'll make sure that the food is donated. But what we're trying to help is to save this guy on shipping, because I think that's the whole point of this call. Is that right? Are you happy or sad or medium?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, you're not gonna get what you want. I'm telling you, it's.

[Jake Johnson]

We got feeling connected to her, and I feel sad about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's what's going on. She likes the idea. Okay, but we're not. It's not one of those ones where the person's like, holy, that's brilliant. She's gonna do it, and we'll go from there. And if we fall short, we'll go from there. Megan.

[Bryce]

Yeah?

[Megan]

I think the mailer is a solid idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Solid. We're gonna take solid. We're gonna take solid. We're taking solid. Thank you. Megan, do the mailer and then seriously, keep us posted.

[Megan]

Okay, thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. You guys all know what Squarespace is. It's the EAS to create a great website. And I might create a Squarespace website about Lamar Morris and Kyle from the Morning after podcast. Because they're, you know, they're coming after us and we haven't done anything wrong. We're the innocents and they're the bullies. But we will defend ourselves. With the help of Squarespace, we will make a website to defend ourselves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look no further than my own website. Any website I'm associated with is Squarespace. They have design, intelligence, cutting edge AI technology, so you could come up with the strongest creative potential. There's Squarespace Payments. It's an easy way to manage payments in one place. With Squarespace, onboarding is fast and simple. You get started in a few clicks. Invoicing, you can sell your content. I mean, Squarespace makes it easy to sell access to content on your website, like online courses, blogs, videos. I'm teaching a lot of courses on my website. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial. DoTheWork to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hi, everyone. Producer Jesse here. This next call is a follow up from Our last episode, episode 151. Thanks for the memory trees. Hello, Hello, Hello. Welcome back to. We're here to help. We know that you're a follow up. We want to apologize for it taking a little bit for us to jump in. We know we kept you waiting for a minute. A lot of times when we do that, it's because we're. We're late on a call. That's not the case today. Today Jake had some mic issues that took about seven minutes. And after about seven minutes of people troubleshooting we realized he had muted it on the actual mic itself. Anything to say, Jay?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you know, the thing that I'm trying to explain to Gareth is that when you press the mute button when it's muted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, can we, can we get your, can we get your name, please?

[Bryce]

Yes, of course. My name is Bryce and my first call was about the tree house in Sherman Oaks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, all right. The Sherman Oaks tree.

[Jake Johnson]

So walk us through what happened. And we also know that Rick Glassman showed up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We know that we had a mall. Rick Glass.

[Jake Johnson]

We think we did because he texted us before that he was going, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then he never, never, he never replied.

[Jake Johnson]

The next thing he sent was something from a. Yeah, I think a comedy club with your name and like a hand sanitizer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Correct? Yes. Rick's follow up was a completely different subject.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so what's happening?

[Bryce]

So we had the party on Saturday, February 22, and it was awesome. My dad decided to announ on the news. So there were a few hundred people who showed up as strangers.

[Jake Johnson]

No way.

[Bryce]

Just announcing it to all of Los Angeles. So it was massive. So much liquor. My parents made jambalaya. Ran out immediately. And it was, it was way better than expected because I, you know, the community got to come by and say goodbye. And we had people, strangers who would come up to us and be like, I've been driving past this tree house for the 16 years that I've lived here and I'm so sad to see it go. So that was a lot of fun. But I, I brought up the pinata idea to my parents and they didn't say no to it, but they pretty much said no. But we wouldn't have been able to do it anyways because there were so many people there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, do you fully remember the pinata idea?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Yeah, I do. We were going to hit the treehouse. Like, terrible idea. Ok, here's my question. Just to see how humiliated we are about to be. It's a terrible idea. Were you always going to have the party or can we take any credit for that? Party?

[Bryce]

We were always going to have the party.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so our only idea was hit it like a pinata.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did any of our ideas make it into the mix? G. Let her answer, let her answer.

[Jake Johnson]

We said hit it like a pinata.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right? You said that. Bryce, go ahead. Did any of our stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

All we did was bring Rick Glassman to the party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quiet. You muted your mic by touching it for eight minutes. And we didn't even do that, by the way. He just went that's true. Anything we come up with, make it in there, Bryce.

[Bryce]

So the other thing that y'all said is when the parents go to sleep or the kids to just have a massive slumber party in the treehouse. And we didn't put beer pong in the treehouse because it wouldn't fit, but we had beer pong on the front yard and we had music blasting facing the neighbor's house, of course, and cornhole. So that was a lot of fun. And my sister and I were gonna sleep up there because it's the last time to ever sleep up there. And I couldn't find her at 2am So I went into her room and she was passed out drunk in her bed. So didn't sleep up there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's a long no up there.

[Bryce]

Until 2am I mean, but you were.

[Jake Johnson]

Planning on doing all of that regardless, correct?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, no, we're not sensitive. It just. This is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just tell us how it is.

[Jake Johnson]

This is for this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then we're going to talk about.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, we're excited. This is a win. We're happy to take Our loss.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, please, you have won. And please, just end this. Drop the guillotine.

[Jake Johnson]

So you did not do the pinata, which. So can you remind us what else we pitched? Jess, I'm trying to see if there's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anything here that nothing made it.

[Bryce]

I mean, you also pitched the pirate theme, which was there any other to explain on the news, so.

[Megan]

No.

[Bryce]

Yeah, but we did.

[Jake Johnson]

We.

[Bryce]

We didn't do the pinata thing, but we did get really drunk and start ripping shingles off of that outside of the treehouse.

[Jake Johnson]

That's. Jack Daniels gave you an idea, not us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's fine. That's fine. Look, okay, we're all right. Bryce, look, we lost. It's okay. We're happy for you. I have a couple questions about your event that you figured out on your own, and that's fine. And we're fine with that. And that's great for you.

[Jake Johnson]

You. So the show isn't. This episode is not called We're Here to help. It's just. We're here to give bad ideas. And then you just go do the party you're gonna do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're here.

[Jake Johnson]

We're here talking for some reason. We're here for some reason, people. We're here for some reason. Season two. Okay, honestly, what was your.

[Bryce]

Honestly, I. I think if my dad didn't announce it, it on the news to all of Los Angeles because we even had news outlets come to the party. In the middle of the party and do a story.

[Jake Johnson]

So it got. It got way bigger than you expected.

[Bryce]

Right. If we didn't announce it to all of Los Angeles and have hundreds of people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Bryce]

Then we would have been able to do the. The suggestions that y'all had.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We didn't know that it was going to get so big. Jake. When we picked. We were doing a small event.

[Jake Johnson]

So let me ask you. Go ahead, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, here's my question. I'd just like to float this out to. To Jake as a question. I'll.

[Jake Johnson]

Answer me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This question's to you.

[Jake Johnson]

I thought it was going to be to our guest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's say you go. Well, I'm questioning something that happened at the event. Let's say you go to a farewell treehouse party.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're excited. You know, you're like, hey, I'm swinging by.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And in the yard, someone has a big pot of jambalaya. Yeah. You eating any?

[Jake Johnson]

Am I drinking?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You've had a. You've played beer pong twice.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just want to make sure I. I don't even eat what's in jambalaya, but if I'm five beers deep, I probably have it some. Being like, don't tell anybody.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I'm having a scoop or two. And by scoop or two, I mean a bowl.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I'm putting in the pinata of the neighbor.

[Jake Johnson]

Gross. That's a different type of pinata. If you knock down a lady pinata and Jumboaya comes out. Wow. Is that a statement? But back to the party. What's going on with the treehouse? What happened? We understand it was a raging party. Your sister got blackout drunk. Your parents had a blast. The news was there. Did you see Rick Glassman?

[Bryce]

Yes. So when the news first came out, I think that was on the Thursday before the party. He was just walking his dog down the street, and he stopped to say hello and ask, what's going on. We had no idea who he was. And then we got like, a dig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bryce. He's in the business. You don't say that. You go, he looks familiar.

[Jake Johnson]

Just. That's like saying, you know, I went to a concert, it was his band, and we hated all the music. Who cares? Yeah. Just, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Bryce]

No, no, he didn't want Blackman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, we know that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if he did that, that would be really strange behavior.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But he had to do that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. He's got a wonderful podcast, Shoes off podcast. Shoes Off Podcast. We've been on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's great.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a lot of fun, but keep going. So he came up. He didn't give you his IMDb when you met him? Correct. Then what happened?

[Bryce]

And he just came up and loved the tree house.

[Jake Johnson]

And great.

[Bryce]

Every time after that, when, whenever we were on the front lawn or when I would have my coffee on the front porch and I would see him walk by, he would stop and chat for a while and he came to. He did come to the party. And I think he had a lot of fun. Just a chance to go inside the treehouse and see what it's all about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He went into the treehouse just to confirm.

[Bryce]

Yes, he did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And that's great. That is. And what's going on with the treehouse now? Where are we at with the city? A bunch of people in our base have been emailing in and writing in and commenting on the Spotify that you can write to the city. You can. They're trying to put up a last second fight. What's happening?

[Bryce]

Well, since the party, LA Times, Daily Mail, Kock, they've all done features on us. There was even a news outlet in New Orleans that picked up the story, too. My dad is from New Orleans, so.

[Jake Johnson]

I would say it wasn't. They didn't say no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every event outside of New Orleans with jambalaya gets at least, least a pop.

[Jake Johnson]

Could you imagine the newsroom? Like, I got to do a story about a treehouse flying to Sherman Oaks. All right, so any movement? What's happening? How's the city reacting?

[Bryce]

So there is no movement. My dad went to the city council meeting and it was a bust. And so it is scheduled to come down on Friday.

[Jake Johnson]

Whoa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we're crazy. There's most likely not going to be a stay.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what? I'm going to tell you about season two so far, and it might have been season one. I'm just not remembering the sadness of it. But with Mateo the duck and this duck one duck one's really hard. We still don't have the final update, but the, the, the 2025 has just been a tough start. We got Mateo, we got the treehouse, and that's everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, we also, we started talking about all the winds we had so early and we were really feeling on foot. The bell was getting tired. And now. Yeah, this is, this is sad.

[Jake Johnson]

On Friday just because I guess our show's becoming a downer now. Can we film some of that and post it and have that? Maybe we'll have you on again. Maybe we'll have you on post terr. I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Post destruction. I mean, what. What is that. What is that even going to look like? Is your dad just going to take that down now?

[Jake Johnson]

Got to hire a service where it's that size.

[Bryce]

Yeah, we. My dad hired a service, and they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They.

[Bryce]

They were going to take it down tomorrow, but I think it's supposed to rain, so they had to push it back till Friday. Yeah. It's so sad. However, y'all are saying that there's a lot of losses out there for the show, but I think this is a win because although we didn't save the tree house, I originally called about the party, and the party was a hit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we had no input on that event.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, mute your microphone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. Thank you for trying to make us feel better. Truly. Thank you for calling in and sharing the story with us. You know it.

[Jake Johnson]

And we're sorry about the house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it sucks. It sucks. But this is bureaucracy. Yeah. And congrats on the jambalaya.

[Bryce]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Appreciate you. Thanks for calling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep us posted if you rebuild or anything like that. We got to go. Bye, Bryce.

[Jake Johnson]

After all that, what, they can't rebuild a tree? Permits.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Build it underground.

[Jake Johnson]

Like a little.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Build it at Ricks.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Thanks, Br. Take it easy. Bye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See you later. Thanks a bunch.

[Jake Johnson]

Bye. Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you so much. Bye.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod Gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Bryce]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpod.