209: Very Important Pickles & Twenty-Second Pilot

Summary

We're Here to Help – Episode 209: "Very Important Pickles & Twenty-Second Pilot"

Date: September 22, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Notable Guests/Callers: Ben (Florida) & Jen (Connecticut, Jenny and Benny's Pickles)

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Episode Overview

Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds return for another episode of We're Here to Help, where they take listener calls and offer their best (if imperfect) advice. This episode features two standout dilemmas:

1. Ben, who wants advice on convincing his girlfriend to skip her childhood best friend’s wedding in favor of a Twenty One Pilots concert.
2. Jen, a pickle entrepreneur dealing with a copycat rival at her local farmer’s market.

The hosts bring their famously offbeat, supportive energy and comedic banter, offering creative solutions and plenty of laughs while rooting for their callers. As always, they blend earnestness with a refusal to take themselves too seriously.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter and Podcast Updates (00:24 – 10:00)

• Crowd Stories: Gareth shares a story about an "overzealous" audience member from a recent show ("the wowee girl"), highlighting how podcast catchphrases and inside jokes leak into real life.
  • “An audience member should not have a catchphrase.” – Gareth (01:19)
• Audience Engagement: Jake and Gareth discuss the strange but positive growth in their fan community and how their Patreon is influencing the podcast’s direction ("That’s the lab").
• Personal Updates & Stand-up Special: Gareth plugs an upcoming comedy special (Oct 4th, Chicago), discussing the difference between performing live stand-up for hours (“People like, you’ll like… Other times I’ll be like, ‘Alright, I’m going to get out of here.’ And you can tell people like, good. Awesome. Yes.” – 06:38)
• General Tone: Features their usual blend of mutual teasing, veering between sincere kindness and mock bickering, setting a playful, approachable vibe.

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2. Ben’s Dilemma: Wedding vs. Concert (10:26 – 30:32, Follow-up at 54:16 – 73:03)

The Ask

Ben (24, Gainesville, FL) seeks advice on how to convince his girlfriend to skip her childhood best friend's wedding (with whom she’s not as close anymore) to instead go to a Twenty One Pilots concert. He already bought the tickets before realizing the wedding date's overlap; his girlfriend is excited about the wedding but isn’t passionate about the band.

The Hosts' Reaction

• Immediate recognition of the "impossible" nature of Ben’s request.
  • “This is bad. This is Everest.” – Gareth (11:20)
  • “You’re making her choose you over her friend.” – Jake (14:42)
• Reluctance but curiosity about possible solutions.
• Empathetic exploration: Is she in the wedding? Is it a rushed event? Is there a way for Ben to go alone?

Creative Solutions

• The PowerPoint Approach:

  • Gareth and Jake recommend Ben create a persuasive PowerPoint presentation, “Shark Tank” style, laying out the pros/cons of skipping the wedding for the concert.
  • Suggest including perks: nice hotel, dinner, money saved from the wedding budget, photoshopped images of the concert trip, even a cameo video from a band member if possible.
    • “How about we set Ben up with a PowerPoint to pitch to the girl? All the pros and all the cons, and I think the pros are you’ve prepped this… and then you start bringing up pictures.” – Gareth (16:02).

• Song Parody Pitch:

  • Jake suggests Ben write and perform a parody of a Twenty One Pilots song about skipping the wedding for the concert.
    • “The most popular song they have, I would like you to write new lyrics with the same melody and write a song parody about wanting to go over the wedding with her and perform it for her and dress up like the band.” – Jake (24:06)

• Delivery Strategy:

  • Reveal the predicament after getting her excited for the concert.
  • Make it funny and light to lessen the “ultimatum” feeling.
  • Positive, “no matter what, I love you” ending.

Ben’s Follow-Up (54:16 – 73:03)

• Execution: Ben creates the PowerPoint & the song. Walks his girlfriend through a multi-slide presentation, complete with photoshopped images, clear pros/cons, and concludes with a heartfelt, comedic song in a suit (“First time she saw me in a suit.” – 63:51).
• Outcome: His girlfriend is charmed, laughs throughout, and is swayed by the effort—she agrees to the concert, and they RSVP “no” to the wedding.
  • “She said the song really showed her how important this was to me. So, yeah, we’re going to the concert.” – Ben (66:34)
• Notable Surprise: Ben shares they got engaged a week later!
  • “So, she’s not technically my girlfriend anymore. We actually got engaged a week ago.” – Ben (67:15)
• The Hosts Celebrate the Power of PowerPoints: Encouraging the now-engaged couple to use PowerPoint for all major life arguments.
• Unique Offer: Jake offers to connect Ben to his brother (a professional wedding officiant), and jokes about the podcast crew attending their wedding.

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3. Jen vs. The Pickle Copycat (30:40 – 53:55, Update at 73:59)

The Situation

Jen (25, Connecticut), co-owner of “Jenny and Benny’s Pickles”, faces a new competitor at her farmer’s market who’s obviously mimicking her every business move—from social media posts ("pickles at the beach") to logo shirts, sample strategies, titles (“World's Best Pickles”), and loyalty drivers (stickers/prizes for kids and pets).

The Hosts' Dissection

• Signs of copying are cumulative and blatant; Gareth and Jake sympathize and brainstorm ways to maintain Jen’s unique edge and curb further imitation.

Strategic Solutions

• VIP Loyalty Program:
  • Exclusive stamp card ("buy eight, get the ninth free"), humorously called “Very Important Pickle Person (VIPP)”.
    • “Make it like a joke, like it’s sketchy, like a drug deal… this is not for everybody.” – Jake (42:56)
• Confrontation:
  • Suggests directly and diplomatically addressing the issue with the rival, possibly via a humorous “pickle-off” challenge.
  • Create a fake “Farmer’s Market Council of America” IG account to prank/remind him about originality.
• Publicity Angle:
  • Turn the rivalry into the market’s feature event, encouraging a taste-test competition for "Best Pickle" (Pepsi/Coke-style) administered by the podcast.
    • “Challenge him to a pickle off… it’s a good way to confront him about this but also show off my pickles.” – Jake (47:42)
  • Record and share on social media for fun and transparency.

Update from Jen (73:59)

• Actions Taken:
  • Jen calls her competitor, addresses the copying, and finds he’s aware of the issue but remains friendly.
  • She proposes a "Pickle Face-Off" at the market; he declines, possibly out of intimidation.
    • “He unfortunately declined. So I think he’s a little scared, just saying. Which he has good reason to be.” – Jen (74:07)
• Moving Forward:
  • Continues her business with the hosts’ loyalty card suggestion.
  • Promotes her next farmer’s market appearance and encourages listeners to visit/follow her business.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Audience Participation:
  – “An audience member should not have a catchphrase.” – Gareth (01:19)
• On Personal Growth:
  – “You’re making her say, choose me over your childhood best friend. You only get one wedding. I’m sure these 21 Pilots are going to perform for the next 20 years together…” – Jake (14:42)
• On Pickle Rivalry:
  – “I think you need to… say to somebody when you give it to them, ‘Buy one for 12, I’ll give you the second one for six.’ Then they don’t come back for the next week. We ice them out.” – Jake (41:32)
• On Creative Persuasion:
  – “The most popular song they have, I would like you to write new lyrics with the same melody… and perform it for her and dress up like the band.” – Jake (24:06)
• Victory Update:
  – “She said the song really showed her how important this was to me. So, yeah, we’re going to the concert.” – Ben (66:34) – “We actually got engaged a week ago!” – Ben (67:15)

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:24 | Opening banter: Wowee girl, crowd stories | | 05:07 | Gareth plugs his comedy special | | 10:26 | Ben introduces his Twenty One Pilots vs. wedding dilemma | | 16:02 | PowerPoint/“Shark Tank” pitch idea is born | | 24:06 | Song parody pitch for girlfriend | | 54:16 | Ben’s follow-up, PowerPoint & song presentation | | 66:34 | Ben’s girlfriend agrees to concert, engagement news | | 30:40 | Jen’s introduction: pickle business rivalry | | 42:56 | VIPP loyalty program suggestion | | 47:42 | Pickle-off competition brainstorm | | 73:59 | Jen’s update: confrontation and loyalty card rollout |

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Podcast Tone & Style

• Language & Tone: Candid, witty, and irreverent—full of playful digs, meta-commentary, and improvisation.
• Advice Style: Kind-hearted, collaborative, sometimes impractical but always supportive, with frequent emphasis on humor and creative presentation over traditional “serious” advice.
• Unique Flavors: Integration of pop culture (Shark Tank, band references), community-building, and willingness to follow up with listeners and root for their little life victories.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Sometimes, originality in small business is all about branding, relationships, and creative engagement (loyalty programs, fun events).
• When love and logistics clash, sometimes a heartfelt, creative pitch (even a silly PowerPoint and song) can turn the tide—especially if you make it personal and fun.
• The hosts reaffirm that “helping” isn’t about expertise, but about rooting for the caller and embracing the odd solutions that fit the heart of the problem.

For more, check out Jenny & Benny’s Pickles at the Walpole Farmers Market (Sept 27) or on Instagram (@jennybenny_pick).

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Next Steps:

• Ben is off to the concert (and a wedding, eventually).
• Jen’s business is stronger (and quirkier) than ever; her copycat rival is respectfully scared.
• Jake and Gareth encourage listeners to keep calling in for more unconventional problem-solving.

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(All timestamps MM:SS)

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This is a headgun podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, should we start? Have we started?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, let me tell you this. I. I did a show, Fort Collins, a week ago, and I was like. During the show, I'm just like, you know, obviously, like, I'll talk to the crowd and stuff, so. So sometimes that can be misinterpreted by people. But anyway, what does that mean? That sometimes means that people will overjoin. Like, it's like they.

[Jake Johnson]

It's now just a living room conversation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Your version would be, you're out, someone comes up to you, starts talking like they know you talking to the person, you know, and you're kind of like, yeah, I don't fully. You know, let me handle this. So this girl, very early goes, wowee. And I was like, okay. And I was like, whatever. I was like, not enough time for that. So I kept moving. There's another lull. She. I hear, wowee. And I kind of go, what is with you? I'm like, are you trying to sell merch? Whatever.

[Jake Johnson]

There's a Wowee. A merch thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I just. I'm like, is she. I'm like, an audience member should not have a catchphrase.

[Jake Johnson]

I get what you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My show.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. Of course.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She does it a third time, and I'm kind of just. There's nothing to, like, play with. So you're just kind of like, whatever. I'm like, I don't know what's happening over there. That after the show, she goes, I'm the wowee girl. I go, hi. Way to go. You know? And she goes, do you know what that's from? And I go, no. And she goes, when you got the Brazilian, I was like, what? She goes, yeah. You kept saying, wow. We. During. It was like, context would be a little helpful.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, that is shocking, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shocking.

[Jake Johnson]

What a world we created. You experience way more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was just, yeah, I'm out there. And the Parmesan is being signed quite.

[Jake Johnson]

Regularly because I'll tell you what's different in my galaxy is that it. It has not really. It doesn't translate to my world. So I feel like this is a weird hobby that we do that's really fun. And every once in a while, somebody will come up and go, I listen to the pod.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, I think if we did a live show, I think you would be like, oh, okay.

[Jake Johnson]

There's a lot of people out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you would be a little surprised at what's going on.

[Jake Johnson]

Today. The only thing of business we have to do with our audience. I will say I enjoy the fact that we now have a lot of business with this community. And our intros are what we need.

[Gareth Reynolds]

People remember what they used to be.

[Jake Johnson]

There was a big period season one where they were just. And we are back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyone have anything? Anyone got anything? What's the thing?

[Jake Johnson]

We came up with the whole thing where, like, maybe we should have stories.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Which is good. But that. But now you have a chimp head behind you.

[Jake Johnson]

Now you live with a chimp head comment about Luke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just go for it.

[Jake Johnson]

He doesn't deserve it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

You're a sweet husband to you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. What are you doing?

[Jake Johnson]

That's not mean. That's nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not mean, but it's not nice.

[Jake Johnson]

How is it not nice?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because I could just tell by. I could tell what nice is.

[Jake Johnson]

What's nice with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's nice. There's nice. Totally different. Your. Your phone, ice. It's different. Yeah. Even now.

[Jake Johnson]

What's my actual nice?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was real good.

[Jake Johnson]

Not on the show. Not on the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was real good, man. It's like that. That's what it is. Or. Or a text. It's just like. That was a real good call that you. That was good. But your fake nice is. I want you to be happy. You're like, why are you upset?

[Jake Johnson]

You're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm helping.

[Jake Johnson]

That's my show. Nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we have some great stuff coming up. I mean, I'm sure people are probably sick of us talking about the calendar at this point, but, you know, that whole shocking. Yeah. I don't know what is even happening anymore. I didn't even get to have the experience you got to have yesterday with him to discuss it. I want my own slice of that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And I think you should.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I deserve it.

[Jake Johnson]

Anybody who wants to join the Patreon, we're having a lot of fun there. We're starting to do a lot of live there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Just because it's its own weird thing. Patreon is still very new to me. It's a very strange idea. But what's becoming really nice about it is the free formness of it all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, like you said, it's definitely influencing everything. So that's sort of. Yeah. That's. That's the lab.

[Jake Johnson]

That's the work. That's the lab.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the lab.

[Jake Johnson]

That's exactly right. And then, Gareth, this is coming out at the end of September. You have a big Special coming up October 4th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

October 4th, at the Den in Chicago for all this stuff. You can go to Gareth Reynolds.com and. Yeah. And boy, oh, boy. Recording a special, my man. Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

Really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Just tell me why. What does it mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's just now that I have to do it, it's like a lot of real locking. It's so much more like theater than anything else, where it's like, I am really now focused on, like, this one speech, essentially, and really just tightening it up and figuring out what works, what doesn't, all that. And.

[Jake Johnson]

But can't you do two hours and cut it down to an hour?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can, but you also know. But you want those bits to be very refined so that there's good word economy. You know, how the joke plays out the best. And I'll be honest, you. The two. If you do two hours, people like, imagine. Remember one time you and I went to see. I don't know if you remember this. We went to see the Groundlings, which is a fantastic institution. So many great people have come from it. But I took you to a show at the Groundlings, and it was like three hours long, and you and I were like, what is happening?

[Jake Johnson]

Dying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so you can't have people sit there for two hours and expect them to stay with the same level.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's correct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

People like, you'll, like. Sometimes I'll be like, all right, well, I'm going to get out of here. And people go like, oh, no. Other times I'll be like, all right, I'm going to get out of here. And you could tell people like, good. Awesome. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

I want to go home, but I don't want to be rude and tired. I'll tell you a weird thing about my mom growing up. And I know Pam's not this way, and that's not a sex joke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What? What's your deal?

[Jake Johnson]

Because you got defensive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't say anything. I was. I moved a coffee.

[Jake Johnson]

Then it's on me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is.

[Jake Johnson]

So's Pam. Go without.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God damn it. Hi, everyone. Sweet Jesse here. We are pleased to announce that Sarah will be the contestant on our next Friendship Game. She is from the Philadelphia area. So if you live nearby and think you might be a good match for Sarah, be sure to write into the show. Go to the link in this episode's description. And if you want to get to know Sarah a little better, check out episode 202, I have a Connection. That's the the Friendship Game casting special. And good luck.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Ben]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. Welcome to the show.

[Ben]

Hi. This is so cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's going to be great. Can we get your name, age, where you're calling from, please?

[Ben]

I'm Ben. I'm 24. I'm from Florida.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where in Florida, Ben?

[Ben]

Gainesville.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gainesville. Beautiful. All right, Ben, why don't we just get into it? What is going on?

[Ben]

So are you guys familiar with the band twenty one Pilots?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Ben]

You should check them out. They're great. So my question is, how can I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Ben]

How can I convince my girlfriend to skip her childhood best friend's wedding so that we can go to a twenty one Pilots concert?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God, Ben, we're gonna lose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, this is bad. This is Everest.

[Jake Johnson]

This is impossible.

[Ben]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is the event you're asking her.

[Jake Johnson]

To skip her best friend's wedding? Her childhood best friend's wedding buddy at twenty one Pilots concert buddy.

[Ben]

I called the experts. I mean, this is why I'm here. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, we're not gods.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, this is hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is. Okay, well, have you made the case to her already?

[Ben]

No, she doesn't know yet. She hasn't. I'm coming to you guys first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When is the wedding?

[Ben]

October.

[Jake Johnson]

Jesus Christ. For you. I have a question for you.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Is the childhood friend her current close friend, or was it just a childhood friend?

[Ben]

No, just mostly, you know, they've lost. I mean, they're still close, but. Yeah, they haven't seen each other that often. For context, they, you know, 21 pilots, favorite bank, coming to Florida back in July. I got us tickets. She doesn't care about 21 pilots, but she supported. I did everything with the tickets. Super excited. And then back in June. Or no, no, sorry. About three weeks ago, her best friend gets engaged. Sort of out of the blue, they sent us to save the date later the week for a wedding in October. So I'm like, okay, cool. My girlfriend's excited. She starts planning for it, looking at hotels and dresses. And then in a couple days, I realize that it's the same evening as the concert. I haven't brought it up. I don't think she realizes it's the same day because I did all the concert tickets and she's done all the wedding stuff, but we haven't. You know, my real case is like there's sort of, sort of a rushed wedding. You know, the official invitation hasn't even come yet. They're only giving us two months notice and 21 pilots is locked in. I'm in deep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is she in the wedding?

[Ben]

Tbd, I don't. The invitation hasn't come yet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She would know if she's in the wedding already.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but, but here's the thing, Ben. I think we do this in two stages. And I think the stages we do is first we get you at the concert and out of the wedding and then you offer her. And the reason is, is maybe there's a chance you're going to the pilot and she's going to the wedding.

[Ben]

Well, 21 pilots, but I see what you're saying.

[Jake Johnson]

Pilots.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You said the pilot. It's fine. So she, I think Jake, I mean, does that work for you?

[Jake Johnson]

Because we could do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's just extract. That's. We're just taking you out of the wedding and we're getting you there. And I think the way to do that would be to over commit to it now. Get the hotel forwarder the information.

[Jake Johnson]

Or do we just go fucking crazy and do we just call her blind and try to do it together?

[Ben]

Well, that's the thing, you guys. I think she'll let me go. Like, I think she'll say this is your thing, you know, go live your dream. But I want her to come. I want her to have fun with me.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but, so Ben, if we're gonna go that road, we need to have her on.

[Ben]

You know, I was trying to do this. I was trying to do this without her knowing.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but you're, you're making her make it inevitable. But you're making her make an impossible choice. You're like, you're making her say, choose me over your childhood best friend. You only get one wedded. I'm sure these 21 pilots are gonna perform for the next 20 years together. He's got to come back when, when they're bald and gray haired. Who cares?

[Ben]

I just.

[Jake Johnson]

Eric will start seeing them then. In 40 years, Eric is going to see these guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eric's going to have one of their beards in a bag.

[Jake Johnson]

Eric's going to have their garbage in a trench coat. So Ben, do you see the predicament we're kind of in?

[Ben]

I. I know it's a tough, it's a tough ask. I'm asking for here now, for Context, please. This, this friend, they, you know, her and the fiance, they haven't, you know, been dating for less than, you know, it's been a couple months. The fiance, the groom. That's what I'm saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got like the groom, you're saying, keep going.

[Ben]

Groom's got a three month old kid with someone else. What that shit, right? That's what I'm saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what? Okay, just hearing Ben lay it out right now, I agree. You know what? You know what we might need?

[Jake Johnson]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about a PowerPoint? How about we set Ben up with a PowerPoint to pitch to the, to the girl. All the pros and all the cons, and I think the pros are you've prepped this. You've been planning on this. This is going to be forever. This means a lot to you. And the other thing feels a little bit like a rushed ceremony. You don't think it's going to be forever. You think she's going to get another crack at this girl's wedding? Because of the moments you're laying out right now, it might be nice to sit her down and just present this to her in an organized fashion where you're kind of actually shark tanking it. You make a real pitch for the 21 pilots. And how about this? The hotel you book. Nice. The money that she. You're going to save on not having to go to this wedding, you're putting it on the dinner before the concert, the hotel that you're going to be staying at. You know, class it up. I think you're not doing yourself any favors by waiting for it to all come to a head. So I wouldn't bank on anything other than the invitation isn't there yet, you've not committed to it. I'm suggesting we can't make it. If you were going to be in the wedding, you'd already know about it. Let's go to this concert.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait a second. The 21 pilots. That's. Is that Debbie Ryan's husband? Joshua Dune Dun.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. I just worked with Debbie. Maybe we could ask Debbie to get him to make a video for the PowerPoint.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And Jake, a backstage pass.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I. I don't want to push him. I don't want to push him. No, a video is easy, okay? A video is. All he's got to do is just do a in the PowerPoint presentation. Go like, say, hey, Ben asked me to make this video for you. And then if he can, if we can write something up for him where he goes, he says, I want you to come to this concert. Look, they've only known each other for three months. It's a rushed wedding. Ben bought these tickets before. I just think you're making a huge mistake. And then go. But obviously do what you're gonna do. And then Ben. I'll see at the concert, brother. And don't tell her beforehand.

[Ben]

I love that. Now, she.

[Jen]

She.

[Ben]

I don't think she'll recognize him, but I'll get a kick out of that. And I think that she'll just. She'll pick up on the weight of it.

[Jake Johnson]

No, but she won't. But I appreciate your honesty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it could be if you were.

[Jake Johnson]

A Die Hard fan, too. Like, Ben's going to freak out, but she's going to go. That's amazing. That's so nice of him. I'm not a. I don't get it.

[Jen]

She.

[Ben]

She'd probably have a heart attack over Debbie Ryan more.

[Jake Johnson]

But we. That's a different animal.

[Ben]

Sure. No, I know, but.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. But you know what, Ben? Here's what I like about you, and I'm gonna be honest with you. I like a lot about you. I like that you're not letting us off the hook. You know what you want, and you're being honest. Because the truth is, I don't want to do. It's fun to get a musician to do a cameo. It feels good for the show, but who gives a. It's. I don't think it's going to help.

[Ben]

Well, I mean, it might help a little. I don't want.

[Jake Johnson]

But we're talking about a little bit. We only go down the road to eat the meat sauce if we're starving for meat sauce. Does that make sense?

[Ben]

Gotcha. Gotcha.

[Jake Johnson]

You don't go to a Greek restaurant if you want Italian food.

[Ben]

Valid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you say salad or. Valid.

[Jake Johnson]

You said salad. And, yeah, I'm hungry, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're all starving.

[Jake Johnson]

We've been on this for three hours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Three hours. Three hours.

[Jake Johnson]

Now we're fucking tired. Ben, what do you think of the PowerPoint presentation where you lay out all of your argument?

[Ben]

I love PowerPoint. I've been told that's where I thrive. Now what? I like the Shark Tank route. She's gonna love that. How? Like, what shark am I playing this at? Like, Mr. Wonderful, am I doing? Like, who do you.

[Jake Johnson]

Who do you connect to the most? Who do you connect to the most?

[Ben]

I mean, Robert. But, like, is Robert getting the most done?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think, Gareth? He's having the most fun. I don't think Robert's pains me to say. I mean, unless you want to end up in a sleeping bag jumping around pretending you're an inchworm or something. I think what. I think what you do is you say one night, you sit her down and you say, honey, there's something I want to talk to you about. And it's pretty serious. You play the Shark Tank theme on your phone, and you come in and you say, you know, you could even do a little voiceover. It's like, please welcome to the Tank, Ben. Ben wants to make a pitch to his. His girlfriend.

[Jake Johnson]

I love.

[Gareth Reynolds]

About going to a concert and if.

[Jake Johnson]

You did the actual Shark Tank. Does she know the show Shark Tank?

[Ben]

Oh, she loves it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So then you do the actual Shark Tank music and you walk through those things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. You walk through your doors and you say, hi, Shark. I love you. Let me start there. And I want to tell you about a divergence in the road right now where we need to make a choice as a couple. On the one hand, we have a wedding to a friend that you've not kept in the best of touch with. You're probably not going to be in it. And let's be honest, on paper, doesn't seem like it's going to work out, so you're probably going to get another crack at it. But on the other hand, and then you start bringing up some pictures of the concert, some pictures of the band. You bring up a picture of the hotel, you've got, you know, let me.

[Jake Johnson]

Pitch something a little bit different on that, Ben. Because when I'm hearing that, I'm getting defensive of the. I don't like the fork in the road of the relationship, and I don't like hearing how negative the wedding is. First, I think she should be totally confused about what all this is, and it's just fun. And I think I like that should make it very confusing. And then all of a sudden she should realize, oh, he's right. Both these things happen on the same night. And that's when you go like, yep. That's why I need your help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I need your commitment to figure out.

[Jake Johnson]

How to do this, because I think we would enjoy the concert more together than a wedding that realistically, you can go to her next one in 18 months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you know what? I. I like that a lot. And I think maybe I'm not trying to push. I. If you set it all up about. Let me tell you about 21 pilots. Let me tell you about the concert. Let me tell you about some of the metrics of the band, then it might be cool if it's not a pain in the ass to get a video that just sort of says, hey, I would really love it if you guys were at the concert. You know, Ben, whatever. I would really love it if you guys were there. That cracks it then like you're saying her head spun a little bit and you go, and obviously this falls on the night of this other wedding. And I, you know, something like that. I also take a picture of the accommodation of the concert where you're gonna stay. A nice place. I think Jake's right. Make her really excited for the concert before telling her the predicament. And what?

[Jake Johnson]

Here's another, here's another pitch. Ben, is there any 21 pilot songs she likes?

[Ben]

Oh, I mean, the ones you know, the big ones on the radio. Everyone knows, you know, she's. She's supportive. She's in. But I don't know if she would like, know the name of a song.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so then here's what I'd like you to do. The most popular song they have, I would like you to write a new lyrics with the same melody and write a song parody about wanting to go over the wedding with her and perform it for her and dress up like the band.

[Ben]

Oh, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's called One Pilots.

[Ben]

I like that. Jake, I'm not. I'm not a singer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doesn't matter.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what everybody says.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a committer.

[Jake Johnson]

You know who said that? A little boy named Ray Charles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ever heard of that?

[Jake Johnson]

There's a little boy named James. Said he's not a singer. His last name is Brown.

[Ben]

Ring a bell?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hardest working man in show business. Because you know what, Ben? You might not be a singer, but you know what? You are a performer for this event.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a committer.

[Jake Johnson]

You don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a lover. You're a fighter.

[Jake Johnson]

You don't know karate, but you know karate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Crazy. Arguably the greatest lyric of all time.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree. Without question.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you hear it? Listen to it again, Ben, because it's important. You don't know karate, but you know crazy. Do you understand? You might not be skilled at the art that you're about to perform, but.

[Jake Johnson]

You know you know how to win. The tagline for our show. We're here to help. We don't know karate, but we know crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like it is the greatest lyric of all time.

[Jake Johnson]

It just made, by the way, I wouldn't fight him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's worse.

[Jake Johnson]

It's like I know Karate. But he knows crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't have a code.

[Jake Johnson]

It's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Ben, we've given you a couple of ideas. I'd love to hear you kind of talk. I'd love to get your pov. Would you just kind of take over and stream a conscious. Let us and the audience know. And that sweet guy out in Greenland. What you thinking?

[Ben]

So PowerPoint, I'm loving it like that. That's in my. That's in my comfort zone. You know the songs. That's a little. You know, I haven't done that before. I'm nervous. Do you think I pair that with the PowerPoint or is it either or?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I think you pair it. I think it could be the closer on the PowerPoint. You don't need to do a whole song, but you could do a verse.

[Jake Johnson]

You could either. Well, here's what I really think, Ben. I think you do what's going to work. So, you know, some people go on Shark Tank and they do like silly bits in their stupid. And then other people do silly bits and all the sharks laugh cuz they're drunk. Well, don't do the bit if it's not going to land. So if you sing and it's stupid, what are you doing it for? A radio show. We got a lot of things going on this show. We got a Super bowl coming up September 19th. So you're doing this to convince her? If you think the song's going to work, then do it. But if you think in the end I think I can do a killer PowerPoint because that's where I'm good, then let's fucking win. Where we win.

[Ben]

Okay, I hear you. I'll play to my strength. PowerPoint is for sure. Maybe if I'm feeling brave, I'll put in some verses at the end. We'll see.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. If it's there, I'll read the room. Yes. And when are you going to do this?

[Ben]

So weddings mid October and invitation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you got to get to work.

[Jake Johnson]

You got to get her so she could maybe. Are you. Once she RSVPs. Yes, you're dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You've got to beat the invitation.

[Jake Johnson]

You got to beat the invitation and lock her in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Seriously. Because once the invitation shows up, it's over.

[Jake Johnson]

It's over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I think you've got to do it like asap.

[Jake Johnson]

You got a week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you got a week. And it might be good for you to rehearse it with us before, if you can. If not, I would just record it. For us to have some highlights of.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you got to get to work. And I think what you do is you put together why the night will be so special for her, why she'll enjoy it. I think around the edges, nice dinner, nice hotel, all that stuff. And then afterwards, like Jake said, I think you present the dilemma. But you've already put all the marbles on the scale in your favor.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree with this.

[Ben]

I like that. You guys, I was, I was planning on staying at my parents house, but I will look into hotels.

[Jake Johnson]

No, you can stay at a parent's house, save the money. You're a 24 year old guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but they're, they're going to be spending money on the wedding hotel anyway. You're talking about just saying this is for the money you're going to spend on the wedding. This is what we can do, just you and I. I respect that because I think that all the time, whenever I get invited to a wedding, it, it's such a cost.

[Jake Johnson]

Ask Ben. What are we doing here? Babe?

[Ben]

I'm gonna do the PowerPoint. I'm gonna get to work on this.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I'll.

[Ben]

I'll record a run through.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Ben]

And I'll send it up. I'm on a ti. I understand the timeline, so I'm gonna get on this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you should have your laptop with some pictures that are compelling.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that's in the PowerPoint.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hope so. I just want to make sure we're really going, you know, let's. Kitchen sink this. Pictures of the band, pictures of maybe.

[Jake Johnson]

The hotel, maybe pictures, Photoshop pictures of you guys together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you can do that, get in a couple AI pictures of you guys at the concert. What it looks like.

[Ben]

I like, I like it.

[Jake Johnson]

And they should end with I love you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Either way, I love you.

[Jake Johnson]

Take away either way, I love you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It can, but I'll love you more at the concert.

[Ben]

Exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

Take away that. No. Take away that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No matter what, I love you.

[Jake Johnson]

No matter what, I love you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then you play the song I.

[Ben]

Feel good about this.

[Jake Johnson]

Then you play the 21 pilots and ask her to dance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you ask her to dance while you sing it. Ben. You take what you like, you drop what you don't. But get to work.

[Jake Johnson]

Send us your rehearsal Roger song.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You take what you drop what you don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Take what you want, you drop what you don't.

[Jake Johnson]

Pretty good. But Ben, will you please send us that thing ASAP and follow up with us, bud?

[Ben]

Oh, I'm on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go get him.

[Ben]

Thank you for your help. Appreciate it.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you, bud. Appreciate you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Jen]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

How you doing?

[Jen]

Good. How are you?

[Jake Johnson]

Welcome to the goddamn show.

[Jen]

Hi. I'm so excited.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, well, we are. We are in the 200s, Jen.

[Jen]

Oh, wow.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, this is probably like 203 or something crazy. How's that make you feel, Jen?

[Ben]

I guess special.

[Jake Johnson]

Me, too. All right, Jen, take it away.

[Jen]

Okay. I'm Jen. I'm 25, and I am from Connecticut.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. How close are you to New York?

[Jen]

I actually used to live in New York. I used to live in the Bronx, but now I'm, like, two hours from New York City.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, and what are you doing in Connecticut?

[Jen]

Well, I do fertility research, and I'm also an emt, so that's what I do as my main jobs. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Cool job. How long have you been in the emt?

[Jen]

Not long. I just started. I've been doing fertility research for two years, though.

[Ben]

Neat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We almost had a baby named after us recently.

[Jen]

Yeah, I mean, guys have some good names.

[Jake Johnson]

What's your. What's your greatest takeaway from all the fertility research you done? You learned anything? Any big Cliff Notes on it? What do you got?

[Jen]

Just how big stress affects everything. So as long as you can have an easy, breezy pregnancy and keep your wife or your girlfriend calm, that's all you need to know.

[Jake Johnson]

So you're saying when the baby. When the woman is carrying the baby, the more stress she's feeling, the worse it is for the baby and the mother.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, isn't that interesting? Thank you for sharing that, Jen. All right, so let's avoid some stress. What do you got today?

[Jen]

Okay, so my problem is more on my side. Hustle. So I need advice on. Exactly. I need advice on how to stop my farmer's market pickle rival from stealing all of my ideas.

[Jake Johnson]

Explain.

[Jen]

Okay, so I sell pickles at the Walpole Farmers Market in Massachusetts every other weekend. And then on my off weekend, there's another pickle vendor, and he's, like, kind of brand new to the market and pickle business in general. So then.

[Jake Johnson]

I love this.

[Jen]

The first kind of, like, sign that he was copying me was I posted a picture that a customer sent to me of my. Of my pickles at the beach. And then a week later, he follows me, and then he posts a picture of the same photo.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Jen]

Of his pickles at, like, an AI generated beach.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh. Oh, wait. So are you Jenny and Benny's Pickles?

[Jen]

Yes, we are Jenny and Benny's Pickles.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you guys. And what's with the art with the. The dog eating a pickle?

[Jen]

Gotcha. So Benny's my dog and I'm Jenny. So Jenny and Benny.

[Jake Johnson]

Ah, cute.

[Jen]

And I donate a portion of my proceeds to the hometown foundation, and they donate to animal shelters, military veterans, first responders, those with intellectual disabilities, and so on. So they're a great program.

[Jake Johnson]

I love it. And before we get into the. The work on this one, Jenny, what you. What got you into the pickle business?

[Jen]

So I enter. I just love pickles. And I entered a pickle competition at the Connecticut Pickle Festival.

[Jake Johnson]

I didn't know there was such thing, did you, Gareth?

[Ben]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Pickle competition.

[Jen]

There's a competition for everything.

[Jake Johnson]

I would love a shirt that says winner of the pickle competition.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that'd be great. I mean, I love pickles. Big pickle fan.

[Jake Johnson]

Take that as a soundbite.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love a good pickle.

[Jake Johnson]

I love pickles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That feels like a Berg thing to say everything about berg.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, Jesus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, gosh.

[Jake Johnson]

Everybody loved the pickle in their mouth. So, I mean, I.

[Ben]

You.

[Jake Johnson]

You love pickles. You started making pickles. You came up with a cool thing. Jenny and Benny's Pickles. You go to farmer's market, you're selling good pickles. Yes.

[Jen]

Yep, that's.

[Ben]

That's the Fitch.

[Jake Johnson]

Then this son of a comes in and starts stealing your advertisement.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so your first pickle is your logo. Your pickle jar on the beach tilted in the sand. And then salt of the earth pickles.

[Jake Johnson]

Comes out with a La Ray song doing time. And it's their pickles at a beach.

[Jen]

Exactly. And it was like a week later, he had just followed me week later, post the exact same picture. And he's like, just starting up. And I'm like, okay, like, maybe it's a coincidence. It's the start of summer, like, whatever.

[Jake Johnson]

But I told all my friends, I wouldn't say that's a coincidence. I don't associate. I would never think I'm gonna go buy pickles from the. Because I saw pickles at the beach. Like, it was hanging out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it sounds like even if you gave him the benefit of the doubt, doesn't matter because it's about to get worse.

[Jake Johnson]

Is it?

[Jen]

Exactly. So my friends were like, oh, no, they weren't like, not on. Oh, it's a coincidence. They're like, oh, he's copying you. And they started commenting on his Instagram comments saying, like, looks familiar. Must be a pickle thing. And a bunch of things I'M like, oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm gonna see those comments. Can we see what those.

[Jen]

It was just, like, three people that, like, after just said the same thing.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, and what did. How did. Where. I'm assuming it's a he. I think you said, hey, but how's he responding to it?

[Jen]

He just said, pickle me. I don't know what that means.

[Jake Johnson]

Pickle me. I wonder what that means.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's weird.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Jen]

I don't know. Yeah, that was the first coincidence. And then I had made shirts made, and then next market, he had shirts made.

[Jake Johnson]

But I'm like, okay, what were the shirts you made?

[Jen]

It was just like, of my logo on the left. And then he had of his logo.

[Jake Johnson]

Jesus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is not.

[Jen]

But again, I'm like, it's a new business. Like, okay, you need shirts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess it gets worse.

[Jen]

And then at my farmers markets, I have, like, a sales technique where I have little pickle stickers that I give to, like, every kid that walks by. And then I also give dog bones to any dog that comes by. So then everyone comes as a sample, and then they try my pickles. And so recently, it's been like, five, six markets later. And now he just started reintroducing his pickles with his logo on it. And he hasn't had dog bones yet, but I'm watching out just in case.

[Jake Johnson]

So now he's doing the stickers, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, this is, like, stealing my technique. Yeah.

[Jen]

And now he just started samples, like, last market, and he's never had samples before, which is why I'm like, oh, I've never had to worry about him because no one wants to buy something. You can't try buy before you try or try before you buy.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed. Now, the catch with that is eventually everybody's going to do samples. So the samples are a different animal. I feel like he's got every right to do samples.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But it's cumulative. All the other stuff. It's very clear that. Okay, so I think cumulatively, clearly, he's influenced by you, at minimum. So is there anything else? Has any other shit happened?

[Jen]

Yes. So in my spiel that I talk to at the farmers markets, I always say, Connecticut's reigning best spicy pickle champ since 2024.

[Jake Johnson]

That's cool.

[Jen]

And then recently he started. He put on his post world's best pickles. First of all, that's a blatant lie. No title. Like, I actually have a title. And he's like, stealing my little title.

[Jake Johnson]

So this is heavy.

[Jen]

That. That one was, like, the Last thing where I was like, okay, he's, like, being deliberate now. It's not just like, oh, he's starting a business now. World's best pickles. And I say, I'm Connecticut's reigning best spicy pickle champ.

[Jake Johnson]

What does this guy look like? What's his vibe? Here's what I'm hoping.

[Jen]

Scruffy kind of guy. Like, okay, what do you. What do you want him to be?

[Jake Johnson]

A hunk. I want him to look like a male model with, like, a little bit of a beard and, like, a plaid shirt. And then I want this to turn into, like, a really. I hate you, I love you. Romance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you're looking for, like, the Hallmark movie.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm looking for the. I make the best pickles. No, I make the best pickles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, and they're eating there or they're kissing. Sex. Jesus, James.

[Jen]

Well, then.

[Jake Johnson]

Then.

[Jen]

Then pickle me would make sense.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly. Sex. So. But he's not like that. He's not like that. Okay, you're an older guy. 50 years.

[Jen]

Not an older guy, but older than me. Like, maybe early 30s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Jen]

So if you was cute, maybe it wouldn't have been a problem.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, but. And so interested. Do we know anything else about this guy?

[Jen]

I have never met him, like, in person, not social. On my off week, we have not socialized, like, in person.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, what do you mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

She. Every other week he goes to her. He's the pickle guy at the market one week, she goes the next. And each week he's kind of evolving closer to her business.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but you're not selling pickles. When he's selling pickles and you're not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doing business, is it affecting your bottom line?

[Jen]

I mean, the first week, they're like, oh, is this the same pickles as last week?

[Jake Johnson]

Sure.

[Jen]

And then. And I'm like, no. But then I think he. He's gotten some business from me because they were like, oh, where's the pickle girl? Where's the pickle girl and her dog? Because I bring my dog to the market.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, think about it this way. I go to the farm every time I'm in town. I go to the farmer's market, and if you see something there, the one week you'll buy it. You won't be buying it the next week. The more that he's upping his profile as the best pickle or all that stuff, the less brand loyalty you're gonna have to her. Have you tasted his pickles?

[Jen]

I have not tasted his pickles. I was gonna have someone, like, just buy the pickles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And I just want to see how good they are. But then I'm like, you know, it's not even worth it.

[Jake Johnson]

It doesn't matter.

[Jen]

What's your pitch?

[Jake Johnson]

I got a pitch. So, yeah, I think what you need to do, because I didn't realize the every other week, which I think is huge. So let's be honest. How many pickles do people need? So if they're coming once a week, a lot of farmers market people. You go because you like it fresh. Correct. So it's a lot of repeat customers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

So why don't we do something that you do not advertise for it, but when somebody's buying. How much are you selling a jar of pickles for?

[Jen]

12. 12 a jar.

[Jake Johnson]

12 bucks.

[Ben]

And he's doing the same.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, how's your pro? How's your pro? Hold on, hold on. How's your profit? A lot.

[Jen]

I make a good amount of money honestly just doing pickles.

[Jake Johnson]

So let's do this. When you have a customer, you say, I appreciate your loyalty. You give a little back and forth, then say to them, buy one for 12. I'll give you the second one for six.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about this? Let me pitch on that.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's why. Here's why. Then they don't come back to get pickles for the next week. We ice them out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a pitch on that. Just so that you're not biting into, because that is. That's a. That could be a big margin loss.

[Jen]

Barbara, can I say something really quick?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, of course.

[Jen]

So the only thing I don't like about that is that people buy, like.

[Ben]

Two jars of pickles for me.

[Jen]

So I don't.

[Jake Johnson]

So buy two, get the third one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about this? Let's come up with the stamp where it's eight jars. You get the ninth for free. So you have the little return stamp card.

[Jake Johnson]

But then he's gonna have a loyalty card.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But then we're here.

[Jake Johnson]

But here's what we do. Here's what we do. It's called a VIP loyalty card.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Very important.

[Jake Johnson]

Very important. Pickles. You. You say to somebody when you give it to them, this is not for everybody. Do me a favor and don't tell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyone or even if he does that.

[Ben]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Because then it's the same thing. Then we're in the same problem, because what we want is only come from to me. But I'm your pickle lady. And make it like a joke, like it's sketchy, like. Like it's a drug Deal. Where you're like, hey, I appreciate it. I'm happy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I kind of like in that is, what if you eve. What if it's like. Because, look, it's going to be hard to pardon the pun. Keep a lid on that. Why don't you just say, don't tell salt of the earth pickles about this?

[Jake Johnson]

Like, because we're at where then they're gonna. You don't want people who aren't involved in the thing to get involved in the thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't want them to go, like, what's the other pickle place? There's no other pickle place. You just go, exactly. Hey, I appreciate your loyalty. So I'm trying something. But do me a favor, keep it on the download, because I'm not offering this to everybody, but I'm doing a fun, goofy thing called vip. Very Important pickle. Vipp. Very Important pickle person. Which I think you are, because I've noticed. And it's only people who have bought from you more than once. So I'm going to give you this. When you buy exclusivity. Yes. When you buy eight, I give you the ninth one for free. And they'll go.

[Jen]

I like that. Actually.

[Jake Johnson]

They'll go, thanks. And you go, but do me a favor, because I'm not offering that to everybody because I'm only making so many cards. Could you keep this a little on the down low? And they go, yeah, but I. I'm just so thankful to the loyalty of my pickle people. And I've seen you over and over. So I was wondering if you want to be part of this group, then it's the same thing with, like, miles on a flight, you go like, well, I've got some at Delta. I don't want to do United because, well, I don't know. I've got 40,000 at Delta. You're part of the thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that. I. I think. I think you might have difficulty keeping it from him because he clearly. I mean, hell, he might have a mole that week.

[Jake Johnson]

I know he might.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He might have a mole. Clearly he's getting a lot of information.

[Jen]

Well, I do think he has a spy.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, yeah, that's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I think this is okay. I like that. I like that. Just as a business move that's separating you from him. I think that if he takes that idea, maybe there's. Maybe you could do one of two things. One, you could have someone go confront him and just be like, hey, I work for.

[Jake Johnson]

Don't volunteer yourself. Gareth, because you're not going to do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have someone, could be someone loosely involved on the periphery of entertainment, go there and. And say. And. And confront him to some extent and just be like, hey, I like, come here. It feels like every week you're doing stuff that Jenny and Benny's pickles are doing. Is that coincidence that feels weird, that feels wrong? Something like that. If you wanted to step it up even bigger, you could do a brief pickle protest. The first pitch I had was, why don't you dress up or have someone, you know, dress up as the queen of pickles and start having that person hand out samples at the market? And you could call yourself the best pickles in the universe. You can't beat the universe. But I kind of feel like this might be a thing where you just kind of do a couple of these. And I think the loyalty program is just good business to begin with. But then you could also, like, you know, I think the thing is that you almost want to, like, call it out and be like, I'm the queen of the pickles. These are the best pickles at the market. Don't go anywhere else. Like, something like that. But I think worst case, you go to that market and just go, dude, I'm like, jenny, I'm. I'm the other pickle stand here. Am I crazy to think that you are, like, every week taking my ideas? Do you think that's cool? Like, the way the market works is that we're a bunch of independent businesses who get along, but you've got to make your business your own, and it's not cool to just take my.

[Jake Johnson]

We could also write him from the Farmer's Market Council of America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We could write a weird.

[Jake Johnson]

We could create organization letter. We could create a fake IG account called, like, farmers Market Organization and just send him a direct message. Try to get some followers. Send him a direct message that says, like, hey, we have just heard rumblings that you are copying the work of Jenny and Benny's pickles. Obviously, this is all independent. We are trying to stay away from corporate moves like thievery. Can you just please make sure you stay in your lane as best you can?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've got another idea. I like that a lot. I think we could come up with a fake organ. I like that. Okay, we've got a lot of good coming your way. I think we could come up with a fake organization like that. But you know what else we could do? We could have a pickle off. Jenny could challenge him to a pickle Competition at one of the markets where we have people enter Pepsi versus Coke. Yes. Who's got the best pickle?

[Jen]

Pickle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And after that she will have the superior pickle and she can say, voted best pickles at this market.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you know, we could actually use, we could connect it to. We can pick. So people could, we could, they could privately vote the pickle.

[Jen]

We can do like a poll.

[Jake Johnson]

You could do pickle Pickle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the pickle pick poll.

[Jake Johnson]

And we as the show would be the administration on it. So we won't cheat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Now this was similar to the air hockey thing where the pffs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Jenny, you might not love the result.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I believe in Jenny and Benny's pickles.

[Jen]

I am confident in my pickles. I am selling out like every week. I see the pictures on Instagram and he still has a full crate of pickles. So hey, Jenny, I'm not too scared.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's do this. I think that's a wonderful idea. Why don't you challenge him to a pickle off?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a good way to confront him about this a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Have fun with it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have fun with it. It's going to make it a thing.

[Jake Johnson]

And everybody that day gets to get a sample of a pickle and then we'll give him a QR code or something like that. They just scan in and they just vote and then, and then whoever wins that gets to have the billboard and then the other person can copy. Like if he copies. If you're like, I am the official best tasting pickle at this farmer's market as voted by the people, then he will do a funny one. Best pickle on the universe is voted by that. Yeah, but great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you could even say, you could even say like best pickle at this market. I'm here every other weekend. If you want pickles on a weekend I'm not here. You're better off waiting.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. You know, get this second. What do you think of that, Jenny? I think that's a pretty fun idea.

[Jen]

I think that's a good idea. I think it's a good way to confront them but also like show off my pickles And I don't care if I'm giving him a little bit of. Bit of business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

And then what do you think about if you, you could also ask him if he wants to come on the show and we could do it as a follow up and that is, we can talk to him about it too. You could also do it via Instagram. Say like, I'm trying To find a way to make this a little bit of fun. I am annoyed by it. I do feel like you're copying me. And the best way to do it is maybe we do, like, a pickle off where we could. Yeah, One week. We both are there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. That's what it would be.

[Jake Johnson]

And we have a competition that day, and then we go back to the every other week. But I'm feeling like I don't know why you're doing this. And I think there's maybe a fun way to deal with it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's pretty good. And I also think what you could do is, you know, you can make. You could really social media the shit out of this if you wanted to have people filming you getting ready for the competition, Treat it like how a wrestler or how Rocky gets ready for a fight. And then what you could also do is at the end of it, you could. You could have a monitor at your stand kind of playing on a loop the fact that you have become the best pickle at the market.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. And you can make. The winner gets an official trophy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Yep.

[Jen]

But the other one has to buy that.

[Jake Johnson]

The other one that. To participate in it. You guys have both and bought a big trophy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe the thing to do is to have this person on before we even launch it and just kind of talk about the terms, what it's going to be, get some agreement on air and, you know, and kind of come up, work out the kinks and everything like that. That might be the best way to do it. How do you feel about that, Jenny?

[Jen]

Yeah, I'd be down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jen]

Do you think I should message him and just let him know the situation and then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. Natalie, what do you think is best? Like, what do you think is the best way to do this? Should we have her just message this person? Should the show message them?

[Jen]

I think we'll get a better response if she messages because he clearly knows who she is and what's going on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, well, let's do that. Let's do that. Why don't you just, you know, all in good fun, shoot a message, say we want to talk about an idea we have. Because they're the two. You know, they're the two pickle. You guys are the two pickle companies at the farmer's market. So, you know, you think you have a fun idea that you want to talk about on a podcast.

[Jen]

Perfect.

[Jake Johnson]

But, Jenny, how do you feel about this? Because we love it, but how do you feel about it? What are you gonna do I think.

[Jen]

I think it's a good idea. I'm gonna message him, just let him know that what's going on? I'd love to have a pickle competition. I think it'd bring a lot of people to the market in general, it would be everything else.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

If I was at a farmer's market with my family and we were going to get other stuff and there's a pickle off. I'm eating a pickle. Anna voted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Totally. I'm into it.

[Jake Johnson]

And then if I like it, I'm buying a jar of pickles. Because right there, when you eat them both, then what you also do, if you do the competition and you vote, you get $1 off. So then they go, I'm going for Jenny's. Sorry, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love it.

[Jake Johnson]

Gonna sell a lot of pickles together.

[Jen]

I think this is good, friendly business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jen]

I like it. I'm taking a couple things away. I think I'm gonna have my brother in law with a pickle costume.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Jen]

I think I really like the loyalty card.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Jen]

And I think we need to do pickle competition.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think this, you're doing a good kitchen sink approach too. So I think it'll all help.

[Jen]

I'm going out with a bang.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So reach out to the person who runs this, this pickle company and, and let us know and we'll go from there and we'll do a pickle off.

[Jen]

Perfect. Sounds good. I can't wait now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Jen]

Thank you guys so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Jen]

You guys have a great day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You too. I do love a spicy pickle, but I'm not. I'll save that for off air.

[Jake Johnson]

But you said that on air.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I want to talk about it more and I'll do that after.

[Jake Johnson]

That's fair. I'd like to talk about it too.

[Jen]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Ben]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Welcome back. How you been?

[Ben]

I've been good. How are you guys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. We don't actually know who you are. We know you're a follow up. And might I just point out this is the first call we've had since we've both got the chimp heads. This is our, our first follow up call with the chimp heads in frame.

[Jake Johnson]

And if anybody's thinking for holidays, go check out Rob's page and buy something. This stuff is so good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's great. Have you ordered anything else?

[Jake Johnson]

No, I'm still thinking about the Steve Burghead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. What's your name, please?

[Ben]

I'm Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ben, where are you calling from and what was the first call?

[Ben]

Ben Gainesville. Florida. I'm 24, and I really wanted to go to a Twenty One Pilots concert. Oh, right, right.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And 21.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you had. We ended with a PowerPoint pitch, I believe. Yeah.

[Ben]

My problem was my girlfriend's childhood best friend was getting married the same day we had tickets to a twenty one Pilots concert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No invitation yet, though, if memory serves.

[Ben]

Exactly. Yeah. You guys suggested I make a PowerPoint. Just explaining my position, treat it like Shark Tank, and then also create a song inspired by 21 pilots to convince.

[Jake Johnson]

Her this is winning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ben, how nice is it sometimes when you hear our pitches back?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't remember any. I like those pictures a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do, too.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Ben, did you create the PowerPoint?

[Ben]

Oh, I did. I did it all.

[Jake Johnson]

NAT attack. Is there any way we could see it?

[Jen]

Yeah, I have it ready.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's ready.

[Jake Johnson]

Ben, you want to just run a PowerPoint presentation? What a handsome couple you two are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Ben]

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Let me pull it up on my end here.

[Jake Johnson]

It's you and me in the. In the red. Gareth. That's them on the. The other side. That's your and me vibes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sort of dirty. Cool bloody alley boys.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, Dress cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love. Let's just say very quickly, the. Like Jake said. The first picture, I believe, is 21 pilots, and it's two guys who look like great musicians. And then following picture, it says our twenty one Pilots weekend by Ben. And then the other picture is a very clearly AI background where Ben has photoshopped him and his lady in front of a stage of 21 pilots. It's pretty good.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you be the play by play and I'll be color and you just let everybody know what they're seeing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. Okay. And then, Ben, why don't you jump in if there is a particular case or point you were making at. At any point. But we'll try to just go through it a little quickly, if that's okay.

[Ben]

Yeah, you. You take the lead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so here we go. So I explained the first one. So here we go to the next page. The next page. The next page has the plan, big letters. We've got. We've got some dots here followed by the plan.

[Jake Johnson]

I think my favorite on this is at the pool. There's a stick figure of a woman in a little dress and a stick figure man jumping up. Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the. The homework got put in there for sure. We've got great seats, quality time. Fulfill your boyfriend's lifelong Dr. Game. Pretzels in parentheses, probably.

[Jake Johnson]

Is she a pretzel fan.

[Ben]

I mean, like, that's enough.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice hotel. See? The best band ever. Over 14 billion streams. Then, like Jake said, we've got a hotel room. Might I point out two beds. He went with two beds for the room, so not a huge.

[Jake Johnson]

Unless you're gonna have another couple in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Or you. What, you guys. You plan on having a big argument that night or something?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I would. I would say go with the one bed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One nice big bed, but he didn't do that. And then he's got, like, said the pool, the stick figures, and then it shows the general admission lawn. Ben's head, his. His lady's head.

[Jake Johnson]

And why did you pick the furthest away seats?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you're really pitching a. A low expectation of pretzels.

[Jake Johnson]

Two beds, and really far from the stage.

[Ben]

Well, like, you know, we went with lawn seats. Just, you know, we're on a budget here, but I think it'll still be really fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would say promise, promise the moon next time, but.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, let's say you can't. Promise, you can't deliver.

[Ben]

You guys, I can't pull pictures of my exact hotel room. It's just what they have on the website.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but, Ben, you did two. You did two beds. My king.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, they offer picks with one king.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're talking. Look, two picks down and you're gonna see one bed. We are. We're talking about a moment.

[Jake Johnson]

You don't have to go for the first pick. You see. My bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's just. Anyway, Ben, we're not here. Look, we're in.

[Jen]

In.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're just. We're giving notes on an event that happened, so the next page. But wait, your friend's wedding is on the same night. We love your friend. Can we go to both? New colored lettering. No. Impossible. Another question. But it's a once in a lifetime moment. No new font. Statistically, we all have a couple weddings in the US and. We all have a couple weddings in.

[Jake Johnson]

US Terrible thing to say to your girlfriend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Followed by another question. Didn't we already commit to going? New color font. No, we haven't received the official invitation yet. More Photoshop. Very stock photo of a bride walking down the aisle. And then Ben's face on what looks like a lady. A lady's body. And then Ben's lady's head on another body. Very clearly.

[Jake Johnson]

But let me tell you this, Ben, you're bringing up some good points. If I'm your lady right here, I'm going everything. He's saying is making sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also think, Jake, that there's some real charm in Ben's take on this, in that he's. It's funny.

[Jake Johnson]

It's funny. It's also, he did a lot of work. He didn't just say, like, dude, can we skip it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, next page. This is good, Ben. I got a feeling you're gonna win here.

[Ben]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so we've got a pros cons list. Let's just get the Photoshop out of the way. There's a couple tangoing again. Nightmare Photoshop. Yeah, but good job.

[Jake Johnson]

This is gonna get a laugh from her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ben's head on a professional dancer's body. The same with his lady. You can actually even see a little bit of the previous head's hair.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what I just realized? You would love to do Gareth Dancing with the Stars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me. Let me think on that for a minute. At the end of this page, I'm gonna give you an answer, but I.

[Jake Johnson]

Think we all know the answer.

[Jen]

I can see.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right?

[Jake Johnson]

You would love the outfits. You would love the attention of doing all the dances.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. If I may, it's the pageantry. Pros of the wedding. We'll celebrate. We'll get to celebrate your friend. We'll get to dance cake. Great. Pros of a wedding. Cons of the wedding.

[Jake Johnson]

But hold on. Way to be fair, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, fair. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I like that. That is. We get to celebrate friend, we'll get to dance cake. Those are pro. That's what a wedding is.

[Ben]

And in the presentation in the video, I did sort of point out, like, we'll also get to dance at the concert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, like, true. Well, let's get to the cons of the wedding. Expensive frowny face. We don't know what music they'll be playing. Fair. And then the. Another con of the wedding. And I like this con because it's really not a con of the wedding. It's just missing out on the concert of a lifetime.

[Ben]

Hey.

[Jake Johnson]

First of all, I just need to say this, Ben, we're on page four of seven. You're doing an excellent job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You've really done well. Well, I'm very excited to hear how this goes. Okay. And then we get to the my opinion page, which, to be fair, I believe the whole thing was an op ed, but here we go. We haven't committed to going to the wedding yet. We have committed to going to the concert.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is an equation, actually. We haven't committed to go to the wedding Yet. Plus, we have committed to going to the concert. Plus skipping the wedding means we'll have extra income freed up for the souvenirs, pretzels, et cetera. They're the pretzels again. Equals skip your best friend's wedding to go to 21 pilots. Interesting.

[Jake Johnson]

Good push. Good final statement.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Jake. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Excellent bed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best Photoshop of the evening. I do believe Ben's head is on I I. Well, he's on a shark's body.

[Jake Johnson]

I think it might be the guy who does Kind Bars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, right, right. Yeah, right, right.

[Jake Johnson]

Whose body is that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Ben]

I believe this is Mark Cuban.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, it is. Cubes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it is.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so then on the last page, he references Shark Tank.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So Sharks. Do we have a deal? We see the Shark Tank logo.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, this will be on the website.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And there's some. Definitely. Some audio was playing here. And then one more picture. 21 pilots. It's Ben, labeled me as one of the guys in the band, handing a jacket to the other guy in the band that says, you and the tear in my weekend plans.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is what it says. Which might be an inside joke. I don't know.

[Jen]

Are you guys ready for the song?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, we're ready.

[Ben]

So then.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, Ben. So you did all this and then you played a song after? Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah. So this is a song inspired from twenty one Pilots, but from my heart. The original song is called Care in My Heart.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Ben]

You know, that's where the title's from.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tear in My Plans.

[Ben]

Yeah, it was us. I sprung this all on her as soon as she walked in the door. I had her sit on the couch.

[Jake Johnson]

Sneak attack.

[Ben]

Wearing a full suit. And then we just listened to this together.

[Jake Johnson]

Big Ben. You were wearing a full suit?

[Ben]

Oh, yeah. First time she saw me in a suit.

[Jake Johnson]

That's cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good for you. Checks that wedding box, too. All right, well, we've got the song. Let's dance.

[Ben]

Sometimes you gotta bail to know a wedding is not the way to go but it takes 21 pilots to show you how we've got two long seats I'm alive Get some soft pretzels I'm on fire My favorite band. Take me higher than I've ever been the songs at the wedding are okay but my taste in music's on the stage and it takes a PowerPoint to show you how we've got two 1C. I'm alive get you some soft pretzels I'm on fire they're my favorite fan. Take me higher than I've ever been.

[Jake Johnson]

Than I've ever been.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Than I've ever.

[Ben]

Been.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Than I've ever been.

[Jake Johnson]

Awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a 22nd pilot.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Ben.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

Awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awesome, Ben. Awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's gonna be a theme song for the show for a while.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's gonna new M. That's like killer. Like, we're record execs.

[Jake Johnson]

That's right in the zone, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's great is very charming. Your personality came across. But look, you didn't have to sell us. We're in. These sharks are biting.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm definitely more in now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, Never been more in.

[Jake Johnson]

Same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Ben, the question is, how did she react? What was her first reaction? Walk us through that and then maybe at the end let us know what happened. Are we ringing a bell or are we going to a wedding?

[Ben]

Oh, you can ring the bell. She was. She was cracking up the entire time. And then, you know, after we sat in it for a bit and you, like, watched it again or, you know, listen to the song a couple times, you know, she said I had a really valid argument. She said she likes the humor. She likes the effort I put into this presentation. She said the song really showed her how important this was to me. So, yeah, we're going to the concert.

[Jake Johnson]

Unbelievable. Bet.

[Ben]

The official invite came through two days after I gave her this presentation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. Good work.

[Jake Johnson]

And so what'd she say? I. I, unfortunately am going to a concert.

[Ben]

We. We were. We have plans we can't get out of. That's what we said.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, mamma mia, Papa pia. What a victory this is. This is shocking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm shocked.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm happy, Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am too. And it says a lot about her. Her. That's.

[Jake Johnson]

I like her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do, too. I like her a lot.

[Ben]

I've caught her singing my version of the song, like, you know, in the car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Holy.

[Ben]

I have one more update. So she's not technically my girlfriend anymore. We actually got engaged a week ago. So she's now like, whoa.

[Jake Johnson]

Wow. If it went the other way, I was gonna be really disappointed.

[Ben]

I don't think you guys had a hand in that. That might have been unrelated, but I wanted to share.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we did. I think we did. Now, make sure when you get married, to be very, very clear on the 21 pilots touring schedule, because the last thing you want to do is have to do one of these for your own wedding or something like that.

[Jake Johnson]

But this is amazing, Ben.

[Ben]

And I did. I ended up telling her I came on the podcast because we listened to this sometimes together. And I told her, jake, you had the idea of like getting a video from the band to convince her. And her first. Her first thought was like, why didn't you have Jake record a video convincing me? Because she's the biggest new girl fan on the planet.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you didn't.

[Ben]

I was like, I didn't think of that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, we didn't think of that.

[Ben]

I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, but to be fair, this is.

[Jake Johnson]

A better play, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's a nice Hail Mary if.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, all that would do is she'd go like, oh my God. But that has nothing to do with you, Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a Ben play.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the growth came out of Ben. The wind came from you, Ben. And you really did knock it out of the park. We're dealing with another page here, Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree, but I also. Ben, I think this sets a new thing. You're about to get married. My guess is you're probably going to knock off some kids. And you know what happens in life, Ben. And I'm going to say this as an older guy. I'm around Gareth. Stage is we're right around the same age. Is same age soon. So could Andy Richter. So what is this, Ben? There's going to be a lot of arguments, there's going to be a lot of disagreements. Always do the PowerPoints you have set a standard. When your first child goes like, can I go to a sleepover? And your wife goes, seven's too young. Say to hear her do a PowerPoint.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I really like that pitch as since it was effective. This is a two way street.

[Jake Johnson]

A week later they get engaged.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that. Yeah, come on.

[Jake Johnson]

We did that a week later and it didn't have anything to do with us. What are we sitting here with a couple chimp heads in our frames or not?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think. Well, that I still got a lot.

[Jake Johnson]

To do with it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Ben, what do you think about you guys become the PowerPoint couple?

[Ben]

I think we're already there. I think this is set a precedent. I love it. I think it's the best form of discourse. I think if we all made more PowerPoints, we'd be happier in the world.

[Jake Johnson]

And what is your fiance's name?

[Ben]

Allison.

[Jake Johnson]

Allison, I want to say this is Jake Johnson, the guy from New Girl, a show that you like. You are making the right call by going to this concert. And I don't need to convince you because you've already been convinced. But here's something I'll pitch to you. My brother, Dan Johnson and married me. My wife. He Married our friend Jonathan Merlian. His wife. And he married somebody else. Who at the moment I can't remember. If you are looking for the best officiant in the game, and I'm not kidding when I say it, a guy who takes it seriously, oozes charm, is a load of fun. I got a guy who can marry you two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go. That's an offer. That's a show offer. And by the way, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

For anybody in the audience, I'll co sign. Maybe not anybody, because I'm sure he's not going to travel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dan is the real deal.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but if you're looking to have a we're here to help touch at your wedding, I'm telling you, he takes it seriously. And he is. He married me. He brought down the house, tears were everywhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, excuse me while I get my hand on the bell for a moment.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, Ben, Anything else, my friend?

[Ben]

No, that's everything. I owe the concert to you guys and like, maybe I need to make a PowerPoint to talk her into having your brother marry us.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way. Do it. And Ben, if you want, I'll connect you to my brother a little bit. But a PowerPoint of that could be a really fun follow up. And if she says no, that's fair, I agree. But you want to do a PowerPoint to connect Dan to. Maybe. Where. Where are you guys? What state?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Florida.

[Ben]

Florida?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you know, it's possible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Even if not, it's great for the show.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, here's what could be really. Here's what could be really funny, Gareth. If my brother officiates it. What if we went?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you know, it's funny. When I picked up some of the we're here to help Birch, Leah also put in there some mail and you have been invited to a few weddings and I should point out out I have not been. These invitations were explicitly for you.

[Jake Johnson]

Why are you taking my mail, you little rat?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I figured you'd really want to go to those.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, you should show up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was thinking there's something to the idea of me showing up in your stead as your.

[Jake Johnson]

Or I will say this, if Dan officiates a wedding, we're gonna try our hardest to bring.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

You, me, Steve, Eric, bring the car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe we'll just send Steven. Erick. Either way.

[Jake Johnson]

Ben, Ben, congratulations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Congrat and keep and let us know how the concert goes. But this is awesome and awesome and way to go. You did.

[Jake Johnson]

You really crushed it, my friend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you did.

[Ben]

Thank you. Thank you so much for the help, bud.

[Jenny]

Hey Jake and Gareth, it's Jen from Jenny and Benny's Pickles. Just wanted to give a quick little update since our last time we talked and I actually did end up reaching out to our pickle nemesis. We spoke on the phone and I did actually bring up the copying situation, whether it was deliberate or not. And he knew exactly what I was talking about so I'm glad I'm not going crazy. And I wasn't imagining it, but he was very nice. Other than that he's actually also a researcher, so it's crazy that we also have the same job. But anyways, I brought up the idea of a friendly pickle face off and thought it was just a great way to stir up some good competition, boost some business for just both me and him, but also the farmer's market in general and he unfortunately declined. So I think he's a little scared, just saying. Which he has good reason to be. But anyways, again, we had a very good season. We're very excited to do our loyalty cards that you guys suggested. Thank you again for helping me with my problem. Again, if anyone wants to try the pickles, we will be at the Walpole Farmers Market on September 27th from 9aM to 1pM and follow us on Instagram @jennybenny. Underscore pick thank you guys again.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strelecki and if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Jen]

This is Gareth Gareth and they.

[Ben]

All.

[Jen]

Video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward/heretohelpod I'm Tig Notaro I'm May Martin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'm Fortune Feimster. And together we're handsome. What is handsome? Well, it's a state of mind. It's how you feel. It's whatever you want it to be. Handsome is also a podcast podcast hosted by us three stand up comedians you may have seen on your tv. We swap stories, share life updates, and occasionally laugh until we cry. Every episode, we answer a question from a celebrity friend.

[Jen]

People like Sarah Silverman.

[Jake Johnson]

It's Stephen Colbert.

[Jenny]

It's Reese Witherspoon.

[Jen]

My name is Mindy Kaling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello, handsome podcast. It's Jen Aniston. Here, you gorgeous w. So if you're looking for a positive, joyful show, Gary, guaranteed to make you giggle, check out handsome. Jump right in with whatever episode tickles your fancy. Or start from the very first episode. Listen to Handsome on your favorite podcast.

[Jen]

App or watch full video episodes on YouTube.

[Gareth Reynolds]

New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. And don't forget, keep it handsome.