Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" Episode 232

Title: Shrewd Little Boy & Danny Two-Times (With Gaten Matarazzo)
Release Date: November 19, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Gaten Matarazzo

Episode Overview

In this lively and comedic episode, Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds are joined by actor Gaten Matarazzo for a classic round of unconventional, heartfelt, and occasionally ridiculous advice-giving. Through call-ins with two guests—Michelle and Danny—the trio tackles bizarre social dilemmas, blending sincere empathy with absurdist humor and roleplay. The main themes: boundaries with children in your neighborhood, and navigating gifting etiquette in a young adult relationship.

1. Opening Banter & Movie/TV Talk

[01:48 – 08:45]

• The guys open with a signature free-form riff: discussing Jake’s “dream death” (being killed by a chimp at a Missouri chimp farm), imaginary funerals, and Weekend at Bernie's scenarios.
  • "I would love to be killed by a chimp that was once a pet." —Jake Johnson [02:11]
  • "I'd like to be propped up in the last row." —Gareth Reynolds [04:36]
• Jake tells Gaten he and his daughter are big fans since Stranger Things Season 1.
• Conversation shifts to Gaten's thoughts on the show's finale being shown in movie theaters for the first time.
  • Gaten elaborates how this “theatrical TV premiere” is a Netflix first and how excited the cast is for the communal experience.
    • "I think this will be the first TV premiere in theaters, which is really cool." —Gaten [06:31]
  • Jake reflects on the cyclical nature of viewing habits: “This is the first time I’m like, oh, [TV] might be turning again.” [07:01]

2. CALLER 1: Michelle — "The Shrewd Little Boy"

[14:38 – 45:07]

Story Setup

• Michelle, 31, from suburban Chicago (Romeoville), commutes on an e-bike.
• Encounter: A 12-year-old neighborhood boy (“Danny”) starts talking to her about her electric bike, eventually showing up at her home on separate occasions.
  • “I commute with a bike…I was going to see a band…this kid stopped me. He asked if he could ride it…He ended up coming to my house…helped with the leaves.” —Michelle [15:43–21:21]

Hosts & Gaten Clarify

• The trio unpacks the escalating weirdness:
  • Michelle is worried people may judge her for engaging with the kid (especially with her ski mask on), but mostly finds it strange he keeps showing up.
  • Gaten draws on his own experience as a work-driven pre-teen wanting adult friendships: “It would hurt my feelings when I’d find out, like…‘I can’t get food with you not because I don’t want to—it’s inappropriate. You’re 12.’” [24:12]
  • Jake and Gareth stress how, from an adult’s perspective, boundaries are key—even if the intentions are friendly.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Gaten summarizes the “kid’s” side:
  • “I did have a very eager desire to be really close with them…and it would hurt my feelings when…they can’t hang out because I’m 12 years old.” [24:21]
• Michelle, on uncertainty:
  • “Should his parents know he’s talking to strangers?...Should I try to meet his parents?” [21:24]

Roleplay & Analysis

• To illuminate the dynamic, Jake has Gaten roleplay as “Danny”–the eager kid–interacting with Michelle about the leaves and the bike (mock-awkward and sweet).
  • “So do you want to be my best friend?” —Gaten-as-Danny [30:20]
  • “Not really.” —Michelle [30:22]
• The hosts determine Michelle’s conduct is less weird than initially thought, but the situation is “borderline stalker kid.”

Advice & Options Offered

Multiple solutions are brainstormed in signature chaotic style:

• Direct Approach:
  • “Next time, tell him you need to talk to his parents before anything else happens. As a 31-year-old, I need to talk to someone over 18.” —Jake [44:37]
• Deflection Tactics:
  • Make the bike less cool (“ugly-fy it” with Hello Kitty stickers) [39:23]
  • Pretend the bike is “broken” or “gone.”
  • Make a scapegoat (fake “now I’m busy with my sister’s baby!”)
• Parental Contact:
  • “If you want to give me your parents’ info, I’ll reach out and call. And if they’re good…” —Jake [35:10]
  • Gaten: “Continuing this relationship is probably not in anyone’s best interest.” [26:59]

Michelle’s Resolution

• Michelle leans toward a practical solution: give the kid $5 and info for a local bike rental for his parents to use.
  • “I was going to...give him the five bucks with the address for the electric bike rental so that he could give it to his parents.” [42:36]
• Hosts remind her: be kind but set a clear boundary. If the boy keeps coming over, say directly you’d need parental involvement to continue interacting.

3. CALLER 2: Danny — "Danny Two-Times" (Toiletry Tangle)

[50:25 – 72:55]

Story Setup

• Danny, 23, in Colorado, calls about a relationship etiquette dilemma:
  • He often stays over at his girlfriend Daphne’s apartment (she’s an athlete, on a budget), and uses her toiletries; he tries to replace them, but she refuses to use what he brings, returning them to his apartment instead.
  • “She refuses to use the soap or the toothpaste or whatever and just brings it back to my apartment next time she comes over.” —Danny [51:39]
• He wants advice on how to make her feel comfortable accepting these items, to keep things equitable.

Hosts’ and Gaten’s Analysis

• All agree: Daphne is probably trying to avoid feeling financially beholden or dependent.
  • “She doesn't want to live under Danny’s financial umbrella.” —Jake [53:29]
  • Gaten points out it’s about respect and pride, not rejection of kindness.

Notable Quotes & Bits

• “I want you to create an alter ego—Danny Two-Times—never buys anything once, buys it two times.” —Jake [54:23]
• Gareth pitches “Secret Stash” (hiding toiletries at her place), which the others jokingly call “gaslighting” [56:40].
• Poem Pitch: Jake and Gaten riff on the idea Danny should write a poem to make his case (“Accept my paste”), eventually crowdsourcing a goofy, half-rhyming love poem.

Advice Options

1. Danny Two-Times/Costco Angle:
   • Present as “I bought in bulk; help yourself—it’d be silly for it to go to waste.”
2. Direct Conversation:
   • Gaten: “Just sit and say, ‘I love you; you’re my favorite, and I want to do this for you.’”
3. Poem or Gift Card:
   • Gareth: “A weird-enough gesture may break the routine.”
   • Danny: “I think I might do the poem and gift card and see if that gets her.”

Resolution

• Danny is encouraged to combine sincerity and a little humor—either via a note/poem or a funny “bulk buy” explanation.
• Ultimately, respecting her wishes is top priority: “What if he just says, ‘Alright, I respect her wishes’?” —Gaten [65:27]

4. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “I don’t know if we stick with it…it was like a choose your own adventure: if chimp, chimp wreath; if fall, tried to grab a lizard…” —Jake [03:25]
• “We forget that he followed her. She didn’t know how he knows where her home is…He’s already crossed an inappropriate line.” —Gaten [35:47]
• “Is Santa Claus gaslighting the children?” —Gareth [57:15]
• “Welcome to our world, on top of that, having a guy…Kaden, why don’t you do this though? Is that not it? Why don’t you just have a toiletry bag of your stuff at her place?” —Gareth [65:35]
• “When I buy said creams, it comes from a place of me wanting you to feel seen.” —Gaten [71:35, collaborative poem]

5. Key Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------|-------------| | Chimp funeral, “dream death” riff | 02:00–05:14 | | Gaten on Stranger Things finale in theaters | 05:42–08:45 | | Michelle’s full story with “Danny” the kid | 14:38–45:07 | | Gaten roleplays as 12-year-old Danny | 29:02–30:28 | | Advice round-up for Michelle | 40:37–44:46 | | Danny’s toiletry relationship issue | 51:12–72:55 | | “Danny Two-Times / Secret Stash” jokes | 54:11–57:44 | | Poem brainstorming (“I want you to be clean…”) | 68:10–72:06 |

6. Episode Takeaways

• Boundaries Matter: Friendly or not, recurring interactions with kids in your neighborhood benefit from clear adult boundaries—preferably with parent involvement.
• Communication is Key: Even well-meaning gestures in a relationship can unintentionally disrupt the balance; direct conversations (sometimes with a bit of humor) are better than elaborate evasions.
• Humor Helps: Absurd solutions, roleplay, and self-awareness—hallmarks of Jake, Gareth, and Gaten’s approach—both amuse and illuminate that even “dumb bits” can unearth real advice.
• Fresh Perspectives: Gaten’s experience as a “precocious” youth and Gen Z guest offers empathy and wisdom, occasionally (mercifully) steering the older hosts away from their most harebrained ideas.

Final Notable Moment:
The hosts and Gaten help both callers—and each other—navigate weird social problems, with Gaten providing Gen Z perspective and the hosts leaning into their delightful, bumbling comedic energy. The result: actionable advice, but always with a wink.

(Episode contains additional sponsor messages, some extended riffing, and outro credits.)