245: Freight Train & Sloth Memes (with Colton Dunn)

Summary

We're Here to Help

Episode 245: Freight Train & Sloth Memes (with Colton Dunn)
Release date: December 31, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode features Gareth Reynolds and guest helper Colton Dunn (Superstore, Key & Peele) as they take listener calls and offer their chaotic blend of advice and comedy. Jake Johnson is absent from most of this one. The pod oscillates between funny personal anecdotes, behind-the-scenes bits from comedy and acting, and live advice sessions on real-life problems from listeners—including a nurse plagued by a snoring coworker and a woman whose recycled phone number is now occupied by a memeing imposter.

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Guest Introduction & Banter (00:32 - 07:12)

• Gareth welcomes Colton Dunn as their guest helper, riffing about their experience giving advice.
  • Colton: “I think sometimes I'll be a little too confident in my advice and it won't be good advice and people will take it because…” (01:12)
• They swap showbiz anecdotes—Gareth shares a story about being cut from his first commercial, with Colton chiming in (“Very cool time slot.” 03:15).
• Colton reflects on his Superstore experience, the relief and stability of landing the role, and the waiting game between seasons.
  • “To have that happen once in this business is great. To have it happen as many times on that show is just, like... what a huge weight.” (05:44)
• They playfully discuss whether Colton gets recognized in real-life big box stores, tying into his TV role.

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Caller 1: Nurse with Snoring Coworker (“Lauren”) (09:15 – 36:56)

Problem Recap
Lauren, a night-shift nurse practitioner, loves her job and most coworkers—but one (“Jessica”) snores so loudly during ‘rest lulls’ that no relaxation or sleep is possible. Lauren feels guilty because Jessica is sensitive, and direct confrontation feels risky.

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Key Discussion Points

• The Snoring Nightmare (10:00 – 14:33)

  • Lauren details the challenge: tight office, quiet time after 1am, Jessica’s “guttural, rancorous snore,” and failed subtle interventions (“I can’t even put my AirPods in because I can hear her over…” 13:35).
  • They’ve attempted to page each other, blast the pagers, nothing works.

• Addressing Sensitivity and Confrontation (14:48 – 18:42)

  • Colton: “The longer that you don’t tell her, like, that’s gonna be… she’s gonna find out. Somebody’s gonna be like, hey man, you snoring? And she’s gonna be like, oh wow, it must have just been tonight… and then everyone’s gonna be like, no, you’ve been doing it.” (15:14)
  • Lauren worries Jessica is too sensitive and might turn defensive.
  • Gareth: jokes about getting her fired or “luring her into the call room.”

• Possible Solutions (18:42 – 26:32)

  • Colton and Gareth suggest:
    • Approaching Jessica “from a place of health and concern—not annoyance.”
    • Recording the snoring for medical evidence (with caution on workplace policies).
    • Involving a doctor or authoritative colleague to address it formally, “like, have a doctor say, I heard what was going on, I’m a little worried… have you ever taken part in a sleep study?” (22:09)
    • Using humor and empathy to soften the confrontation—e.g., bringing in a CPAP machine and pitching it as “try this, girl!”

• Roleplay & Rehearsal (29:17 – 33:40)

  • They conduct a rehearsal, with Colton playing the helpful doctor and Lauren practicing her pitch.
  • Key script advice: “Front-load your pitch with ‘We don’t want to hurt her feelings…’” (32:56)

• Takeaways & Closure (36:13 – 36:53)

  • Lauren agrees to pursue the doctor-intervention route, feeling “humbled” by reframing this as a health and compassion issue (“I need to look out for her…” 35:24).
  • Gareth: “Allowing a problem to fester is detrimental to long-term health. So it’s time to get in there…” (35:44)
  • Colton: “Don’t let things go on for years again.” (35:34)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Colton on honesty: “I used to snore all the time… I could snore sitting up for sure.” (17:30)
• Gareth, joking about the snoring: “It’s soothing. It’s like a cat purring, you know, but… White noise that’s sort of malfunctioning. It’s awesome.” (29:06)
• Lauren, on guilt: “You guys have humbled me. I need to look out for her.” (35:24)

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Caller 2: Meme-Impacted Phone Number Disaster (“Susan”) (37:02 – 56:53)

Problem Recap

Susan changed her number, but the recycled old number’s new owner is impersonating her in social circles—most notably in a group text for her husband’s coworker’s baby shower, responding with a hammered sloth meme (“It’s five o’clock somewhere”) and enthusiastic “Yes!” to invitations, causing confusion and hilarity (and some stress).

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Key Discussion Points

• The Sloth Meme Incident (38:56 – 40:16)

  • Recap: Someone took over Susan’s old number and is sending memes and RSVPing to events as her, creating disruptions and awkwardness.
  • Gareth: Playfully enamored with the imposter—“the person’s a hero… this is awesome.” (41:03)
  • Colton: “To confront a person like this when they have the higher ground, I mean, you’re just gonna get… it’s gonna be more memes.” (42:55)

• Advice Brainstorming (42:35 – 52:33)

  • Colton suggests ignoring the behavior (“slow choke”) and continuing to get the new number out.
  • Gareth pitches: Have a friend text with a “serious emergency” so the imposter feels compelled to stop, or call/text them directly to request a stop.
  • They actually attempt to call and then text the person live, drafting a mix of flattery and request:
    • “First of all, I want to say I think you’re awesome. The drunk sloth on the couch reply to the baby shower was chef’s kiss… But it’s starting to become a little professionally precarious…” (50:15-53:52)
  • They cut a line expressing a desire to meet in person, fearing it’ll encourage an actual baby shower crash: “Maybe the ‘we’d love to meet in person’ should go. That sounds a little bit encouraging them to show up...” (53:10)

• Resolution & Reflection (54:36 – 56:53)

  • The text is sent. Susan is reassured it’s the best, most reasonable outcome.
  • They reflect on the oddities of recycled numbers and recommend keeping that sloth meme as a badge of honor.
  • Colton: “You gotta save that gif!” (56:20)
  • Gareth: “This person inspires you.” (56:35)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Gareth, highlight of the sloth meme: “The yes belongs in the hall of fame of texts.” (50:33)
• Colton, on imposter retaliation: “If you confront this person, I mean, head on… it’s gonna be more memes.” (42:55)
• Meta-joke about the odd confrontation: “You don’t have a lot of options. It’s kind of a Hail Mary.” (54:24)

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Thematic Threads & Humor

• Empathy as the underlying theme: Both dilemmas are re-framed not as confrontational, but as moments to extend empathy or goodwill—even in absurd scenarios. (E.g., “approach with concern, not annoyance” for the snoring, and “while we love your comedy” to the phone number imposter.)
• Workplace/sleep/parenting relatability: The night shift, familial considerations, and the perils of group chats and digital identity add a relatable (if exaggerated) sense of modern struggle and awkwardness.
• Running bits: Nurse ‘drug dealer pagers’, the “drunk sloth,” and collective admiration for bold, meme-based pranking.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “I can’t even put my AirPods in because I can hear her over.” — Lauren (13:35)
• “Approach with a place of health and concern—not annoyance.” — Colton (24:08)
• “The yes belongs in the hall of fame of texts.” — Gareth (50:33)
• “[Sloth meme imposter]…this person inspires you.” — Gareth (56:35)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:32 – Colton Dunn introduced, advice philosophy, acting anecdotes
• 07:12 – First caller, nurse “Lauren,” snoring coworker saga
• 09:15 – Lauren’s background and problem presentation
• 14:48 – Deep dive into confronting the issue
• 26:32 – Approaching “Jessica” through a third party
• 29:17 – Roleplay rehearsal, doctor approach
• 36:53 – Call wrap-up and reflections
• 37:02 – Second caller, “Susan,” and phone number meme disaster
• 38:56 – The “sloth meme” group chat event
• 42:35 – Brainstorm: ignore vs. intervention
• 46:02 – Live attempt to call/text the imposter
• 53:52 – Final edit and send-off of the solution text
• 56:53 – Call ends; episode winds down

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Summary

This episode packs heartfelt humor, improvisational problem-solving, and genuinely useful advice into an hour, with Colton Dunn’s comedic timing and compassion vibing perfectly with Gareth’s banter. From outrageously loud office snoring to a sloth-meme identity crisis, both stories are handled with empathy, creative thinking, and a healthy dose of goodnatured roasting. For listeners seeking laughs, practical strategies, and a reminder to approach difficulties with kindness (and maybe a meme), this episode delivers.

Transcript

[Podcast Announcer]

Hey, we're heredos. The Steve Berg 2026 calendar is here. Well, almost. It will be available for order on December 3rd at 12:00pm Eastern Standard Time. We are doing a limited run of 500 calendars, so get yours while you can. All orders will ship December 9th, just in time for the holidays. Visit www.heretohelpod.com.

[Colton Dunn]

Two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, hi, Colton.

[Colton Dunn]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Colton Dunn. You're the guest helper today and we're here to help. We'll get into your many projects in our intro to the episode. But how do you feel? Like, all right, so this, we're trying to solve people's problems. What do you feel like? Because we haven't recorded any calls yet. How are. Do you feel like you give good advice in your relationships, in your friendships?

[Colton Dunn]

Of course I feel. Yeah, I feel like I give good advice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really?

[Colton Dunn]

I think sometimes I'll be a little too confident in my advice and it won't be good advice and people will take it because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you ever get offended when people don't take your advice? No.

[Colton Dunn]

I mean, the only time I would get offended if somebody didn't take my advice is when they like, aggressively want to let. Let me know that they didn't take it and they're gonna do it a different way. And then it fails in front of me, like, and then I'm just kind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of like, well, see, I have that with my girlfriend a lot where I'll be like, I'll like suggest something and then I'll be like, all right, just, just pass. I don't need to hear, like the long winded reason why you're passing. Just pass. Just do a soft pass. And she's like, you know, we just really got a lot of good. I think what Kathy said was so good. And I'm like, bye. Go, just go live your life.

[Colton Dunn]

Leave me alone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How much of your own stuff do you consume? Do you, do you like to watch most things or do you kind of just like does it. On what level are you into that?

[Colton Dunn]

I mean, I, I'll always want to watch it, you know, to see like, how, how things got put together, you know, because it's like I also only know what I did, you know, the day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

That I was there. So, you know, I'm always excited to watch something that I, that I worked on just to see where, where it ended up. But I'm not like a, a repeat viewer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're not like, man, I'm not like.

[Colton Dunn]

Sitting in the room watching clips.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I remember when I, the first commercial I booked was for WB Mason in Boston, and they wanted to hire my roommate and he, he'd moved to New York, this when I was in Boston and they, they wanted to hire him. So they called my place and I was like, oh, he doesn't live here anymore. And they were like, well, if he can't do it, do you want to do it? And I was like, yes. So I call him and he's like, yeah, I'll do it. And I was like, God damn it. But then they felt bad, so they're like, why don't you play like a reporter? Like you're just going to be interviewing someone real. And I was like, fuck. Awesome. So I go do it. I'm like, so chuffed to be on a set finally doing something. And it was premiering the night of the, like, West Wings new episode, like the season premiere of the West Wing.

[Colton Dunn]

Very cool time slot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was great time slot. And it was for a commercial, which is weird to know when the commercial going to air.

[Sponsor Voice]

So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, like six of us were sitting around and as the commercial got 20 seconds in and I hadn't appeared yet, it dawned on me that there's a strong possibility that I'm not in this goddamn commercial. And sure enough, it just got to the end and I wasn't even in it. And I was just like. And everyone was like, ah, you still.

[Colton Dunn]

People in the background where you could see, like, okay, well, there I was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There nothing, nothing, nothing. And everyone was just.

[Podcast Announcer]

And we knew.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'd never even watched the West Wing. I was like, watching like the season four premiere. Just like, there's nothing you can do. Nothing I could do. And I was just like, God damn it. That would say that's pretty good. That's like a pretty good metaphor for my career. And then what was it like when you. When you booked Superstore? Like, because obviously that show became very large. Did you realize, like, when. That as an actor, that has to be one of those, like, I've talked to Jake about this before, who is the other host of the show. Like, there is some level of like, oh, my God, like, you must feel a great sense of joy slash relief to finally have consistent work on a popular show. Like, is it. Are you over the moon? Are you still like, God damn it, it's fleeting. Do you have imposter syndrome? How do you feel about it?

[Colton Dunn]

I mean. Well, it's over now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like when you did it, though, like when that happened.

[Colton Dunn]

Because that's so. I mean, you know, I have that context on it now. But yeah, of course, at the time it's like, it's just the best and it's. You know, and the nice thing was is I had been. I've been living out in Los Angeles for years. You know, I had seen shows I'd been on, I'd done other pilots, I had written, worked as a writer on shows. I had seen all the different types of trajectories and how shows could go. The cast was great. We had a great time hanging out together. And, you know, it was for a while there, it would get like. It wasn't like an early pickup, but we would get like on. You know, a lot of times they make you wait really long to tell you whether or not they're going to do another season. And it was always. Usually sometime toward the end of the. Of the season that we were on. Yeah, like we were shooting that they would be like, after this, after your break, we're going to be coming back. And like, that is like, to have that happen once in. In this business is. Is great. To have it happen as many times on that show is just like, what. What a huge weight. Yeah. Knowing that you're going to go, go back, go back to work, you got a place to go, there's going to be some stability. So that was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it changes, it changes your career, too. I mean, it's like being able to have that level of recognition. Do you feel that if you ever walk into a big box store, are you ever like. Like, do employees at big box stores recognize you?

[Colton Dunn]

Not so much. I mean, every once in a while if I go to. Because here the. The show was just on NBC and now it's on. On Peacock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Colton Dunn]

And I think. I think it's going to. You can watch it on Hulu too now, but for a long time it was just on. On. On Peacock and over the Pandemic, it was on Netflix in like the U.K. canada, Australia. So if I, when I go. When I go to those places, it. You'd like. Yeah, I can't. It's very hard to go anywhere. Yeah. Because they. Everybody's. A lot of people have seen the show here. It is still a good number of people. But yeah, I have. I have only happened really once. That was a really funny one where somebody recognized me in like a. A big box, you know, like a Walmart type store.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, where are the remote control repl.

[Colton Dunn]

You gotta know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, man. Well, I think we got a caller here. So. So here we go. Colton. We're about to solve problems I don't know. We're going to get into it in a minute, but thank you for joining us and enjoy this episode with the great Colton. Done. And without further ado.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Colton Dunn]

Wow.

[Sponsor Voice]

Jakey Scorsese over here has a vision. And then, like a true bozo, I didn't cancel it. That was three years of spending without looking at it. That's real life. That happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So on one dashboard, you're going to be able to see your checkings, your savings, your loans, your investments, all that. So it gives you a very clear view of your financial picture. So let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Help. That's RocketMoney.com Help. RocketMoney.com Help. Hello.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. Welcome to. We're here to help. Who are you, please?

[Lauren (Caller)]

I'm gonna go by Lauren. So I don't, like, lose my job or anything.

[Colton Dunn]

That makes sense. That's fair enough.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's enticing. Nice to meet you. That's exciting for us. Lauren, you've got Colton Dunn here as the guest helper today. You got me. You've got col. How old are you, Lauren?

[Lauren (Caller)]

I'm 33.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And where are you calling from? Even though it's going to be a lie because of your job, just name any city in America.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I'm calling from Michigan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Michigan. Great. City of Michigan. All right, Lauren, 33, Michigan. Colton Dunn. Gareth Reynolds, here to help. Ones and twos. What's going on?

[Lauren (Caller)]

So I have kind of like a unique coworker related problem. Without giving too much away, I am a nurse practitioner and I work in the hospital and I only work 12 hour night shifts. So that's typically like 7pm to 7am, which I actually like for the most part. There are like, some pros to that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are the perks? Yeah. Okay.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Well, I'm a mom, so that's like the main reason I'm doing it right now. It's just better for me to sleep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All day when the kids are there. Oh, sorry. Keep going.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Lauren (Caller)]

And I see my kids more than if I were working 7am to 7pm since they're pretty little right now. I really like the people I work with on nights. In general, I do like her. She. I do like her. That's part of the problem. If I didn't like her, honestly, this would probably be easier. But one of the biggest perks of my job is, like, it can be busy, but even like, on the busiest nights, you typically have a little bit of a lull when, like around like 1:00am, 2:00am, when, you know, ideally your patients are sleeping, you've gotten your work done, and I can go back to my office and as long as I have my pager on me, I can kind of like rest my eyes.

[Colton Dunn]

Like a 90s drug dealer.

[Susan (Caller)]

Mm.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I gotta say, the pager is the pager. I'll be honest. Is shocking. I didn't realize.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I hate that thing, but that's. Even for a large hospital system, we're still.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Does anyone ever paid you 420 for weed?

[Lauren (Caller)]

I am like, a very. I do consider myself a drug dealer, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Lauren (Caller)]

You know, like, with a license and everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Word up.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Respect.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Okay, so I work. So I have like, an office that is pretty small that I usually work with two other people on nights. And again, I love most of my coworkers at night, but it is a tiny office. Most of us like to enjoy that well. And, like, kind of, you know, lean back and close our eyes when things get slow. And I have one coworker who, again, I love, but she has the most guttural, rancorous sn I've ever heard in my life. And she's very good at like. Like, I'm jealous because even when I close my eyes, like, I rarely can actually fall asleep. She's like, out. And like, her airway has gone with her, and she just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Colton Dunn]

She's like. Is she sleeping in a chair?

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yes. She has this uncanny way of, like, taking these office chairs and leaning as far back as possible. And she's just out. And she.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is she.

[Colton Dunn]

Is there nowhere she could lay down flat?

[Lauren (Caller)]

So we technically. We technically have a call room that we have access to. In recent years, people go down there less because we're taking care of, like, thicker patients on the floor that we're on. And so, like, maybe I derailed you.

[Colton Dunn]

Though, because maybe that's not. Is the issue just her snoring or is there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is there?

[Colton Dunn]

Is there?

[Lauren (Caller)]

The issue is, like, if anyone else in the office wants to, like, relax or, like, I can't even put my AirPods in because I can hear her over.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Yeah.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Lauren (Caller)]

And we've even tried, like, using the drug dealer pagers to, like, page each other. Like, me and, you know, my other co worker who's like, with me on the night, she's snoring like this and like, turning our pagers on as loud as possible to try and wake her up. And she. Yeah, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What, Lauren, what should we call Snorri? What's a good fake name? What do you want to give her?

[Lauren (Caller)]

I'm. I'm really nervous I'm going to slip up and say her real name, but we can go with Jessica.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, well, we'll be able to. If you fuck up, we'll be able to bleep it or whatever. Okay, so, so basically she works the night shifts. She. What is her proximity level to. You're hearing this snoring? Are you in the same room or you're just tiny?

[Lauren (Caller)]

It's. Yes, it's a tiny, tiny office. So even, like, even if we all sit in, like, the corners of the room, like, as far away from each other as possible, she's like, I don't know, like, 12ft away.

[Colton Dunn]

Have you. Have you said, like, hey, you snore?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Well, this is part of the problem is think she applies is one of. Probably the more like, I feel like any of my other co workers on nights, I could be like, what is wrong with you? Like, go get a sleep study. But she's probably one of our more sensitive people on nights.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, okay, I'll tell you this.

[Colton Dunn]

The longer that you don't tell her, like, that's gonna be. She's gonna find out. Somebody's gonna be like, hey, man, you snoring? And she's gonna be like, oh, wow, it must have just been Tonight and people. Then everyone's gonna be like, no, you've been doing it.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Also gone down the thought process of, like, what if she, like, does kind of know or has an inkling and just doesn't care? Which. I don't. I don't have confirmation on that.

[Colton Dunn]

I think, I think you definitely got. I would say this just right off the bat, you got to just go, hey, can we talk a little bit about these nights? Because you're working close together with her, right. And you know, just to know, like, is the snoring. Is that something that you do every time that you conk out? You know, I would bring it up immediately.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're so. The other thing is that, like, I travel. Like, the guy who opens for me on the road is. It's. It's unbelievable how bad the snoring is. And for some reason, he falls asleep in four seconds. Like, there's like a lot of times where I'm like, hurry, go to bed. And like, that pressure of me being like, fall asleep and then I'll just start to hear it. And we've come up with a couple different systems. Like a married couple when we have to share a room, which happens maybe 20% of the time. But I'm comfortable, like, telling him to shut up or slap. Clapping my hands together or shaking him. But you don't feel. So essentially your question is, how do you get Jessica to fired? How do you get her fired and nobody knows it's you?

[Lauren (Caller)]

I would. I think I would either be able to help you to lure her into the call room that, you know, that people don't use as much anymore, like, yeah, somehow, like gently encourage her to go down there without.

[Colton Dunn]

How about some information about this person? Because I. It sounds like you're dealing. You're using kid gloves here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

And I'm trying to figure out, so how old is this person? Are they like, are they a full grown adult?

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah, she's probably.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's nine.

[Susan (Caller)]

She's probably.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I think she recently turned 40. Like, you could just tell.

[Colton Dunn]

You gotta tell this lady she's snoring. I used to snore.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Colton Dunn]

I used to snore all the time. And I could snore sitting up for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it might be worth sitting up maybe, right?

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah. And. And I don't. I don't snore that. I don't snore anymore unless I. Sometimes I'll snore when I'm like, if I'm sitting up in a chair and. But My wife will wake me up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How did you.

[Colton Dunn]

Here's the thing is, I never know that I was snoring. In my mind, I was just. Just sitting there like this, and I kind of doze off a little bit. And then somebody's like, hey, man, stop snoring. What a way to wake up here when you're snoring. So there's a very good chance that she does not know that she is snoring. That, you know, when she's clicking into that phase, it's, you know, it seems really quick. She's the, you know, she's not picking up. She's not hearing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How did you stop snoring so much? Did you.

[Colton Dunn]

I. I quit smoking cigarettes. I worked out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Exercise.

[Colton Dunn]

Tried to eat better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is Jessica. Is Jessica bigger? Lauren?

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Colton Dunn]

Okay. Well, she might still snore then when you bring her into the room to lay down. That's what the sleep study would be. Would probably find out as well, is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some of the issue.

[Colton Dunn]

You're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You.

[Colton Dunn]

You guys have a. You have a oath.

[Lauren (Caller)]

What's so ironic about this? Without. Without giving too much away is like, a big part of my job is people who have, like. Like, need to wear.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Devices.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sleep apnea.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Sleeping.

[Susan (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Apparatus.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I've been like, is there a way I can, like, like, roll in one of these, like, machines and just leave it next to her?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you can't just trap her.

[Colton Dunn]

Is there any way, like, you could in, like, a creative way? Like, maybe the. So, like, maybe one night she's snoring. Do you have security cameras?

[Lauren (Caller)]

Oh, not in the office.

[Colton Dunn]

Not in the office. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You wanted to abstinence.

[Colton Dunn]

Well. Well, no, I was gonna say, like, set up a reason for her to review some tape of the night before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I. That's.

[Colton Dunn]

And then when she hears that, you'll be like, oh, yeah, that's just you snoring. And she'll be, like, mortified.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think she'll be like, oh, my.

[Colton Dunn]

God, is it that bad? You guys would be like, well, you know, I mean, you know, it happens every now and then, but you're a friend, you know, no big deal. And she'll, you know, but. And then maybe she'll just ignore it. Otherwise. Otherwise. Yeah. Just put some t. Put a TV in that room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're iPad. What Colton's sniffing around is probably what you're after more than anything. Right, Lauren? Which is, like, you don't want to directly confront her. You don't know her well enough. You feel weird. I think you're in a unique position, being in a hospital where you can probably find ways to make this someone else's issue and have someone else bring it. Like, are you. How close are you with some of the doctors that you work with? Are you.

[Lauren (Caller)]

So I have thought about, like, yeah, trying to see if I can get, like, a nurse, because we actually. We are. Office is on the floor that, like, most of our patients are on, and our office backs up to the nurses station. And there's been a couple of nights when me and my coworkers have been like, the nurses have got to be able to hear this through the walls. Like, it's, like, shaking the office. It's so bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I think just to. Just to, like, color the situation a little bit. I. I think she's gotten better in recent years, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Years?

[Lauren (Caller)]

I don't know if I, as a bedside nurse, would.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Girl, you have got to confront her about years.

[Colton Dunn]

Tell her she's sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's a little.

[Lauren (Caller)]

She's a little scary sometimes.

[Colton Dunn]

Well, okay, so you're thinking. You're thinking you'll bring it up and she'll be like, yeah, I know. I snore. Deal with it.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that could be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How many years, Lauren?

[Lauren (Caller)]

I have no. I have no. Oh, God. I'm revealing way too much, but I've known her.

[Colton Dunn]

You don't want to do that with your job. You don't want to do too much with your job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I feel like you're okay. But regardless, look, it is time. Without question, it's time to stop this. Yeah, I've got a couple ideas, Colton, you can jump in. You can nix any of these.

[Colton Dunn]

I'm working up a couple things right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, I'll just. I'll get the ball rolling. My first one was going to be, as I kind of alluded to, you have a doctor or you have someone who's maybe I don't want to, like, above her, say, I heard what was going on. Your snoring is while. Yeah, it's a little too loud for, like, a shift or whatever. I'm a little worried. Have you ever taken part in a sleep study? Like, you might honestly need a CPAC machine or something like that. Yeah. Have them, you know, and you could tell them and be like, look, we actually have concerns about how much she's snoring. Is it. Would you feel comfortable? Like, you maybe even can record her doing it and show it to one of them and be like, this is bad. Right. And have them say, I saw you doing it the other night. I. I think you need to, like, something needs to change. And maybe even on top of that, you could show her, or the doctor could show or the nurse practitioner could show her what is actually happening. Because I think to a Colton saying, like you, she probably does not have any idea what's actually happening when she conks out. So if you kind of confront her with video evidence of it. I remember one time in college, someone showed me a video of me blacked out, and it made me be like, I can't drink. It's like there's a totally different thing when you see yourself as this another be another being. So that to me feels like maybe a place to start from. What do you think of that, Colton?

[Colton Dunn]

I think it's great. I think you want to. You're going to want to just check your local laws as far as it's legal and just remember you're at work and you know that, you know, she got upset about you taping her. You just, you just have to make sure you got rid of that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The doctor did it. Yeah, the doctor. Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

You know, but, you know, I think, Yeah, I, I think full come full full just like showing this person what's going on is the. Is the right thing to do in this situation. That, that would be my first step. But. But it seems like that that's. That's just not. Not your vibe.

[Lauren (Caller)]

You know, I like, I like that it's coming from a place of like, like, medically, I'm concerned about you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess. I guess if it comes from a place of like, I'm not. I'm not doing this because you're annoying me. I'm doing this because, like.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah, exactly. Do you have access to CPAP machines? Do you have some.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got it.

[Lauren (Caller)]

We, we definitely do. I don't know what the rules would be on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, you're allowed to, like, well, check this out.

[Colton Dunn]

Or maybe if you know a company that, that is trying to sell them and you reach out to them and go, you know, I work at this hospital. I'm a, you know, an mp, and I, I'd love to, you know, trial your product or something and then just, just have the CPAP machine on when she comes into work one night. Oh, hey, girl, like, take it off. Like, girl, you have got to try this. Like, I was just. Have you ever done one of these.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These around with it?

[Lauren (Caller)]

That's so funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Walking around with that. Like, I'm so happy.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, my gosh, girl, you gotta try this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Got it on your back like a jet. I was in such a deep sleep for some reason I can't sleep at work.

[Colton Dunn]

Tried one of these, but you would love it, you know, not that you need it because I know you could sleep, girl, but you got to try it with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you sleep, you, we can barely hear you pee.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh. But yeah, so I, yeah, maybe get creative with how to, how to approach it with her, you know, medically, get one of the doctors involved.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think, you know, I, I think that, that like that to me as an outsider, I would like that the best because that's someone else entirely confronting for you. And then, yeah, like, I do think if you were in that, like, I think to a Colton saying, like, obviously you don't want to shock the system and just be like, hey, you're a beast when you sleep. But you could, if there's a way to like, I think seeing it would make her be like, oh my God. Because the goal is kind of to just get her into another room. But I think the fact that you can't really do that unless.

[Colton Dunn]

Is she married? Does she have family?

[Lauren (Caller)]

No. And that's like, I mean, my husband snores and like, I tell him constantly. So she doesn't have, like, she doesn't have a partner. He's like, you know, informing her of this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. Well, what do you think? I mean, look, Lauren, you don't, I, I, I know when people have had their, you, you know, they're, they're, they're blown away by our pitches. That is not the energy you're giving off. Are any of these appealing in any way? Are you leaning towards any of them?

[Lauren (Caller)]

You know, I feel like an for saying this, but I do think your like, stance of like, this is actually a health issue. And like, rather than just like coming from this, from the stance of like, I'm annoyed and I can't sleep, like, yeah, maybe I should just genuinely be concerned about another human being. Like that, that, that humbled me a little bit. I feel like that's, that's a good point. That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you think there's someone there that you could empower to do this on your behalf a little bit? Would you feel comfortable? Like, is there someone there that comes to mind that you could have do this? Because I think you could do it. I think a couple of you could do it. But I also think if you had like a doctor coming and be like, jessica, look, I'm a real deal doctor and what the fuck is happening when.

[Lauren (Caller)]

You sleep I have. I have, like, one or two people in mind that I feel like I could. I could get to do it. Who are. Who are some of our, like, night fellows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Night fellows. Sounds awesome.

[Colton Dunn]

I'm trying to get an idea of, like, what the. What the reaction that you think. Like, what's the. What's the bad reaction that you're worried about happening? What do you think is going to happen if you say this? That she does that. Tell me what that looks like to you.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I think her feelings would be hurt and she would be embarrassed and kind of. I'm worried that she would kind of go, like, well, I'm just not. I'm just not going to sleep. I'm just not gonna sleep at work anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't, like.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I don't want to bother you guys. Like, I don't like. And kind of turned it into like a. I don't. I don't know.

[Susan (Caller)]

She just.

[Lauren (Caller)]

She's sensitive and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. I mean.

[Colton Dunn]

Well, then I think the health thing, really, that also helps with that, right? Because, you know, you could be like, it's not annoying. You know, I just want you to get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We love helps us sleep. We're sad to see a goat, if we Quite honest.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah. I mean, it's soothing. It's like a cat purring, you know, but. Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

White noise that's sort of malfunctioning. It's awesome.

[Colton Dunn]

It's like a robot breaking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a nightmare. That really helps us. Jessica, I think maybe what now?

[Sponsor Voice]

How.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is going to be your best path towards asking someone? Are you gonna talk to them at work? Do you think that's going to be the best way to handle it? Yeah. So then why don't we do this? Why don't we just real quick, just to get it out there. Why don't. Why doesn't Colton play the doctor or the nurse practitioner that you think or whoever we're talking about? Who's going to be the one that you're going to ask and why don't you be you? And why don't you just. Why don't we role play this real quick just to get a rehearsal out of the way and see how it comes out and see how comfortable you are doing it. It normally seems to help a little bit. Okay. All right, so here we go. Camera pans down. Action.

[Colton Dunn]

What are you doing in my office?

[Lauren (Caller)]

Well, he would probably be coming into our office, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, back to one. Here we go. Now that we know how it works here. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

Hey, guys. Good to see you.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Hey, man. How's it going, man?

[Colton Dunn]

It's all right. You know, a lot of work. A lot of work. You know, this industry.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Hey, I. We collectively, as a team, have been talking, and we were wondering if you could do us a huge, huge favor.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah, of course. What is it?

[Lauren (Caller)]

So Jessica's not working tonight, but I know she's going to be on tomorrow and you're on for the rest of the week. We. I don't know if you've heard when you've been on the floor before, but she has been snoring really, really loudly, and this has been going on.

[Colton Dunn]

What are you talking about? The sky's blue. Yes. I hear it every time I hear it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's here.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah, it's gotten. It's gotten really bad. And honestly, we're starting to worry that she's like. Like, I. I've heard her. I've heard her stop breathing, like, a couple times when she's been snoring.

[Colton Dunn]

Okay, I see what you're saying.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I don't know. I don't know how to gently tell her that she needs a sleep study.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, yeah. That's a tough one. That's a tough one.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I feel like you're far removed enough from the situation that maybe. Maybe you could express some concerns to her.

[Susan (Caller)]

It would.

[Lauren (Caller)]

It would really mean a lot, too.

[Colton Dunn]

Did you talk to her about this already or.

[Lauren (Caller)]

No, we're worried. That.

[Colton Dunn]

Delicate.

[Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Colton Dunn]

All right.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Maybe you could just encourage her to get a sleep study in a very gentle way.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah, I mean, you know, I'll. I'll give it a shot. You know, I don't want to, like, put her information out there. She's not my patient, you know, but I'll give it a shot. You do? Would you. Would you happen to maybe if we did this together?

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah, I don't mind being there. I just don't want to be the one to break the news to, actually.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, well, then, yeah, let's do it. You know, let's talk to her because, you know, we'll just tell her that, you know, we got some options. You know, there's a room down there. We could get a CPAP machine in there, and she could out and try it out, see what it's like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think. Great. I think, yeah, let's do it. Dr. Dunn is into it. Lauren, I think that was pretty good. The only thing I would say is maybe front load your pitch a little bit with. We don't want to hurt her feelings. We really think it's going to be taken more seriously from someone like you. But I think that's pretty good.

[Colton Dunn]

And, And. And also. And say that you want to approach with, like, sort of a unified, you know, with him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I like that, too. If you're open to that, I think that's helpful.

[Colton Dunn]

It almost sounds like you're, like. You're like, will you go in that room and tell them, you know, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go feed the lion?

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I. I feel pretty good about that. Lauren, you're all right with that?

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah, it's still like. Like, it makes me. It still makes me uncomfy, but at the same time, you're right.

[Colton Dunn]

Like, hey, is there, like, a way we can deal with it, you know, like, go. Go out and grab lunch or, you know, like, do this. Like, maybe not even, you know, maybe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Make it a little more, like, outside.

[Colton Dunn]

Like, a little bit more casual. Not like you're, you know, institutional. You're in the office and a problem I don't hate.

[Lauren (Caller)]

I don't really think. I don't really think she has that relationship with any of us. Like, she's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Colton. You're saying the doctor, like, when you talk to the doctor, Right? Is that what you're suggesting?

[Colton Dunn]

I think that. I think I could help with the doctor. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Like, any.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Any.

[Colton Dunn]

Any stuff you could do in this. Not in the office, is.

[Susan (Caller)]

Yeah, okay.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think either way, I. I think that's pretty good. I. This is what I'll say selfishly, for the show, because we're going to want to follow up on this one, Obviously. It would be great to just get some audio of the snoring. Just some audio.

[Colton Dunn]

I mean, just.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Don'T want it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know, Lauren, and I just don't think you've tried hard enough. But. But again, we're here to help you. I'm just. I'm just thinking, you know, from a production standpoint, it's great for the show. So if it. If. If before this confrontation happens, you happen to just have your phone near this deep sleeper who's not gonna wake up from you pulling out a phone and just tapping record on an audio file, that'd be great. Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Listen, if you guys have any location.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Data from the file.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Lauren (Caller)]

If you guys have any audio of, like, a Freight Train. That's close enough.

[Susan (Caller)]

Just.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah. She needs help, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, well, Lauren, I think we gotta. I think you feel good. We feel good. She doesn't. She needs help. Her breathing stops. That. You let that slip out in the. The acting. Give it A shot, I think. I really think worst case scenario, she's gonna know that she snores, and that's better than what's been going on. So.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Lauren (Caller)]

All right. I. I like it. I like it. You guys are. You guys have humbled me. I need to. I need to look out for her. You're doing great for my sleeping.

[Colton Dunn]

Don't let the. Don't let things go on for years again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

All right, let's. I mean, you do the first thing. Let's. We. That's the first. Let's check that off the list. What? You know, we gotta.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lauren, you. You work in the medical industry. Allowing a problem to fester is detrimental to long term health. So it's time to get in there and. And try to find.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Oh, my God.

[Susan (Caller)]

You know, you guys are gonna make me feel bad.

[Colton Dunn]

No, no, no, no, no, no. You feel good. We're about to check this off the list.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're gonna ring a bell. So don't you.

[Colton Dunn]

You know, hopefully we're happy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everybody's happily.

[Colton Dunn]

Hopefully you won't have to deal with this snoring anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's all we want.

[Colton Dunn]

You know, especially if that's the one thing that's the graveyard shift. That is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah.

[Colton Dunn]

I mean, that's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To be able to adjust that.

[Colton Dunn]

You know, I know a lot of people who work as nurses and that. That shift is tough, but some people can adjust to it, and it's great. Yeah. If you got kids, it's really great. So I see if we can just get this one bad thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I think. And I think it's good for your job, and you have a very important job, so you've got to be, like, as aware as possible. So. So I think it's, you know, there's a number of reasons why this should happen. So go get them out of there. Yeah, exactly. So. So get the woofer gone. So. So keep us posted. All right, Lauren?

[Lauren (Caller)]

Yeah, sounds good. Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. All right.

[Colton Dunn]

Thank you, Lauren.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Talk to you later.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Have a good one.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Bye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello. Hi. Hi. How are you?

[Susan (Caller)]

I'm great. How are you guys?

[Colton Dunn]

Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've got Gareth for this one and you've got guest helper Colton Dunn joining us. So the two of us are gonna solve whatever the hell your problem is. Can we get your name, please?

[Susan (Caller)]

That's great. I'm Susan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, Susan. Where are you calling from, Susan?

[Susan (Caller)]

I'm calling from Georgia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Beautiful.

[Colton Dunn]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You ever spent time there, Colton?

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Atlanta. Shooting. Shooting in Atlanta.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah, I've been in Atlanta. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a big, big shooting spot. CEO Susan. I'm in the business, too. How old are you, Susan?

[Susan (Caller)]

Roughly, I'm 30.

[Gareth Reynolds]

30. Okay. Susan. Somewhere in Georgia where they shoot a lot in Atlanta. Colton's been there. Me, not as much. What is going on?

[Susan (Caller)]

So about six months ago, I got a new phone number, and now the old number has apparently been reassigned to a new person who is now impersonating what I know. So when I got the new number, I told, like, my friends, my family. I, you know, sent, like, an email to my faculty and stuff. And then for a couple months afterwards, I got comments in person like, hey, you didn't respond to my text or you ignored me or something. And I was like, oh, sorry, new number. And I figured it just worked itself out over time, you know, and slowly that, like, dwindled away. So I figured it just solved itself. But then last week, my husband and this, you know, the old number were added to a group text with, like, 20 plus other people that my husband works with, and they were inviting us to a baby shower, which actually is now tomorrow. And the old number responded to this invitation with, like, this meme of a sloth. Like, I think it's a sloth. It's, like, drunk, passed out on the couch. It says, like, it's five o' clock somewhere. And the, you know, the group text owner, the person who sent the invitation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. We have a picture. I was gonna ask.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, wait, so. So we've got the. We're celebrating someone's.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, my.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are they celebrating? Baby shower.

[Susan (Caller)]

Baby shower.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Baby shower. Everyone's like, champagne and charcuterie will be provided. Hope y' all can make it. And then someone says, okay, someone, you know, says, diaper duty challenge. Whatever. A weird. There's a weird challenge. And then someone says, coming next Saturday. And then your old number texts a hammered sloth on a couch. And then the person says, is this a yes, you'll come, Susan. Lol. And then did the person who's pretending to be you say, yes?

[Susan (Caller)]

They said yes. Yeah, that's that old number. I know. They, like, doubled down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Susan.

[Susan (Caller)]

They really committed. And then I. Susan, at some point, someone. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, here's the problem, is that Colton and I are in love with the person who's doing this. From your new number? From your old number.

[Susan (Caller)]

Oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, we're. We're very. You want to talk to this person? Okay, but what. Keep the. I wish people could see how funny the sloth. Yes. The sloth picture is. It's so good. Okay, keep going, and then we'll. We'll start.

[Susan (Caller)]

Well, I think that my husband just at one point said, you know, like, hey, guys, that's not Susan. But it's a text with, like, you know, green bubbles or whatever, so they couldn't actually remove the number, so they just kept talking in this group text. And so this person, you know, like, has.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This person's bulletproof.

[Susan (Caller)]

Yeah. So they just have all the information, which, you know, I'm slightly afraid that they're gonna show up at this baby shower tomorrow, but my main concern is to, you know, for you guys to help me with is how to get them to stop impersonating me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Man, it's just so awesome that they.

[Colton Dunn]

Only instance where they impersonated you, as.

[Susan (Caller)]

Far as I know. I mean, he could just. I assume it's a man. It seems kind of like a man response. I think they could be just sitting there chatting with people as me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's 100, you know, it's 100aman.

[Colton Dunn]

It's 100aman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's a man. It's not the only time do this too.

[Susan (Caller)]

But it was too natural a response. Like, they've done this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're getting comfy. They're getting cocky with it. Have you texted them and kind of confronted them?

[Susan (Caller)]

No, because I don't want them to have my number, you know?

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, your new number. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did consider it, but I was.

[Susan (Caller)]

Like, I don't know if I want this connection to happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

You know, is there any way to confront them in that group chat? Like, have the whole chat? Confront them?

[Susan (Caller)]

Well, my husband's in it. I don't know if. I don't know if all of his work colleagues are down to do that. I didn't really ask that.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, I see. Now. This is. But this is just a. This wasn't an official work event.

[Susan (Caller)]

No, I mean, it's like, all of his work people's, like, one of their wives, baby showers. So it's okay, I guess. Kind of a work event.

[Colton Dunn]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a couple ideas. I really do just have to. Again, this person's a hero. This is awesome. I changed my number a few years ago, and it. It really sucks, especially when you've had. How long did you have the number for?

[Susan (Caller)]

I mean, like, over 10 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why did you have to change?

[Susan (Caller)]

Well, I went. I shattered my phone, and then when I went to the store, they were like, here's your temporary number. And I was getting so many spam calls. That kind of seemed nice. I was like, that kind of seems. I kind of like that.

[Colton Dunn]

And yeah, you had, like, a fake number and you weren't getting, like, all the spam texts. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Susan (Caller)]

And I was like, I think I'm just gonna keep this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I listened. It's. Look, you. You made a bold move. I have a couple ideas. Colton, what are you. What are you thinking?

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, man. I mean, this is a tough one, because this person really holds all the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cards here, and they are really playing them well.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah. And, like, to confront a person like this when they have the higher ground, I mean, you're just gonna get. It's gonna be more memes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

I think, you know, I think this is just a slow choke. You just have to slowly, you know, get your new number out to. To various people. Just kind of ignore the. The goofiness until it goes away. Because if you confront this person, I mean, head on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you. Like, you said. Like, you said. No, this is. This is the bad guy in a movie. And we're in the part when we have a corkboard with yarn, and we're going. I don't know what the to do here. I might. Okay, I have two pitches. My first one would be have someone, like whoever, a friend of yours or whatever, who will pop up in the phone with the name identified, say, text it, and be like, something along the lines of, like, susan, this is dark, so get ready. Susan, Something really terrible happened to Andy. I need to get in touch with you. Will you call me as soon as you can? It's so important. Something like that, where it's like, this person can't sloth. Meme their way out of it. And they might actually have to be like, oh, okay, I need to actually reply with some serious. Here. That might be enough to shock them out of it. My other pitch is that, why don't we. I'll call from my number right now and try to talk to this person. And I'm. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna start with a hat off to you.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're awesome. Well, you have. You have had fun. You deserve it. You were put in a position. You freely. You've been awesome.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

However, you know, the party's over. Can you start forwarding any messages? Either say the numbers different or. Yeah, I guess it's that. I mean, just. Just say, you know, this person. This is a new person now. And there's a chance that this person started doing that and just got so fed up of the amount of texts.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That they Just started being like, fuck it.

[Susan (Caller)]

You know, I did consider that because, I mean, it seems kind of fast to reassign the number. Like, I don't know the timeline, but I'd probably be annoyed, too. This, like, just a new number all the time.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, yeah. And a group.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe they started normal about a baby shower, and you're like, I'm wasted. It's so good. It's so good. So. So those. I mean, that. That's. Those are the two places my. My mind goes to. Are either of those appealing in any way to you?

[Susan (Caller)]

I love it. I would love to see someone call the number and just see what happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Lauren (Caller)]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna. Natalie, is the best way to do this for me to just give it a call?

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know if they'll answer, but I'll. I'll. Maybe I'll find a quick intro into what's going on, and then. Colton, you feel free to jump in. Susan, I think we'll keep you on the sidelines. Unless we feel like we need a closer, like you said. I think you want as much distance as possible.

[Colton Dunn]

Is there just so we know, though, like, other than that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Colton Dunn]

Confirming that you'd be at the party, Was there other impersonations that happened in there?

[Susan (Caller)]

No, not that I know of.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Also.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Colton Dunn]

And has. So. And have they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have they.

[Colton Dunn]

Have somebody else told you that they said something crazy?

[Susan (Caller)]

No, I just heard, essentially, in that group text, they were like, hey, fake Susan, please don't.

[Colton Dunn]

You're just hoping that they. Please don't use this power in a.

[Susan (Caller)]

Bad way for evil.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Colton Dunn]

Okay. Because they. He hasn't been actively using.

[Susan (Caller)]

Wrong number would do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me ask. Let me. Let me say two things.

[Colton Dunn]

Things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One, I want to once again highlight how awesome it is that they said yes. I don't mean to keep globbing the knob of whoever this is, but the fact that when pressed for an answer, they exclamation point yes. It's awesome. The other thing is, do we want to leave a voicemail if they don't answer, which is very possible. Do we want to leave a voicemail? I think.

[Colton Dunn]

You know what, in case they're doing that visual voicemail thing where they're gonna immediately look to see who it is?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is what?

[Colton Dunn]

You know, I don't. Even if a call comes from, like, numbers that I don't know, I. I just wait to see what the voicemail says.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

So I just say, like, hey, you have a number. You replied to the ba. A Baby show. I'm calling about the baby shower, and it's something that they could see immediately and know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or should I just be like, hey, I'm calling on behalf of the person who previously had this number.

[Colton Dunn]

Beautiful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to say it's so great how you've been replying with some funny stuff. It's very funny. But this person is now concerned. Okay.

[Colton Dunn]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, so. So that'll be our voicemail. If we leave one. Hopefully this person answers. My gut is they're not going to because they're probably so used to getting weird numbers now, like.

[Colton Dunn]

But maybe they will.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But again, maybe there's the sl with, like, a voice changer or something.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

It's.

[Susan (Caller)]

Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All that'll be believed. Don't worry, Susan.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

I'm gonna call it now, then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, great. This is. I really hope the entire country can.

[Susan (Caller)]

Have that number for spamming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, come on, now. That's my best friend you're talking about. So relax over there. Comedic leg. I'm excited. I'm excited to hear their outgoing message, too. Okay.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Ringing.

[Lauren (Caller)]

The person you called has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet.

[Podcast Announcer]

Goodbye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's fascinating.

[Colton Dunn]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A fascinating wrinkle.

[Podcast Announcer]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, do we want to text or send a voice memoir?

[Colton Dunn]

Well, wait, can we text this person?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have to be able to text them because they're replying to the baby show.

[Colton Dunn]

I think that might be the way to do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Natalie, do you feel okay with a text?

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're the best.

[Colton Dunn]

Is this going from your phone?

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

It's going from my personal phone.

[Colton Dunn]

You have now just opened yourself up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Natalie, Natalie. Natalie almost couldn't make this recording, by the way, so she's now, like, cool. Awesome. Is that okay with you now?

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Yeah, it's fine. What do we want to say?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right. Here's what we'll say. Hello there. And. And then, Susan, if you. And Colton, if you want to jump in. This is not a final draft, so I am friends with the person who recently gave up this number that has now been assigned to you. First of all, I want to say I think you're awesome.

[Colton Dunn]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The sloth.

[Colton Dunn]

The drunk sloth on the couch Reply.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To the baby shower was chef's kiss. Top notch stuff.

[Colton Dunn]

The yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The yes belongs in the hall of fame of texts.

[Colton Dunn]

We'd love to talk to you and give you your props in person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But. Well, maybe just even say the issue has now become that since you're replying as another person, it is messing with their work a little bit. It if at all.

[Colton Dunn]

All of her husband's work friends think she is a drunk sloth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah. So all we can offer is a plea colon.

[Colton Dunn]

Instead of her. Her husband's. Their spouses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, great, Right? All we can offer is a plea colon. Going forward, please, at minimum, just ignore any messages intended for the original owner of this number. If you felt like saying this person is no longer at this number, that's great too. But we don't expect it. But while we love your comedy, it is starting to become a little professionally precarious. Again.

[Colton Dunn]

With great power plus great responsibility.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, do a little editing, Nat. Don't be afraid to cut it down a little.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

No, I'm going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

I got every word, so. No, I'm not going to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you really sound happy about it.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

It was a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's even pissed about the. Hello there.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Hello there. I am friends with the person who recently gave up this number that now has been assigned to you. First of all, I want to say I think you're awesome. The drunk sloth and the couch reply to the baby shower was chef's kiss. Top notch stuff. The yes on the hall of fame of text. We would love to talk to you to give you your props in person. The issue has now become, since you're replying as another person, it is messing with their work a little bit. All of their spouse's work friends think she is drunk sloth. Well, we gotta say they trying to hide that, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Colton Dunn]

Thinks they are a drunk sloth. Lol.

[Susan (Caller)]

Maybe the. Maybe the we'd love to meet in person should go. Just. That sounds a little bit encouraging them to show up at the baby shower tomorrow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, that's not the worst thing, though. That's how you really get the confrontation. But you're the boss. Okay, so let's delete that.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

The issue has now become, since you're applying as another person is messing with their work a little bit. All of their spouse's work friends think they're a drunk sloth. So all we can offer is a plea colon. Going forward, please, at minimum, just ignore any messages intended for the original owner of this number. If you felt like saying this person is no longer at this number, that's great too. While we love your comedy, it's starting to become a little professionally precarious. With great resort comes great responsibility. Thanks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. I think you could lose the line before the. With great power comes great responsibility. I've really. I know, I know. It's mine. Hey, King, stop this Just cut that line, because I think I've really. I think I'm definitely encouraging them by being like, you are the best, Susan.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Yeah. Way too far.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do you feel about it, Susan?

[Susan (Caller)]

I love it. I'm just trying to imagine if I got that text outside of knowing that it was a podcast, I'd be like, wow, that's a wild text.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Susan (Caller)]

You know, I agree, but you don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have a lot of options. If they don't have voicemail set up, it goes pretty much straight to voicemail. Yeah, it's kind of a Hail Mary. Yeah.

[Susan (Caller)]

Yeah. No, I think it's perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Susan, if you're good with it, Natalie is going to send it. Colton, you feel good about it?

[Colton Dunn]

I feel great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, go for it. Send it, Nat.

[Colton Dunn]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So happy about it, too.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

It's a green bubble.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whatever.

[Colton Dunn]

Oh, man.

[Susan (Caller)]

A green bubble. Interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, let's. Listen. We're not dealing with just some amateur. This is a professional. Okay. Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

They haven't set up their voicemail.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They might just have this.

[Colton Dunn]

How long have they had the phone?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Do you have any idea, Susan?

[Susan (Caller)]

I mean, I got this new number probably six months ago, like five or six months ago. And I thought that they would wait like a year or something before reassigning numbers. That just seemed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love that you think that's part of it, too.

[Susan (Caller)]

You know, that just seems weird to assign it so fast, but.

[Lauren (Caller)]

No idea.

[Susan (Caller)]

I'm not sure. I mean, people stopped saying, you didn't respond to my text probably. You know, it's been a few months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I think you're pretty close to the clear. We've sent the text. I think on this one, we're gonna have to keep you posted, so.

[Susan (Caller)]

That's true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's. It's a backwards situation. I think we did the only thing we can really do. We'll keep you posted.

[Susan (Caller)]

That was last week, I think.

[Natalie (Producer/Assistant)]

Yeah.

[Susan (Caller)]

It's been, like.

[Colton Dunn]

Okay. It's been a week. And they have not texted in that. That chat again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They have not.

[Susan (Caller)]

No. They're just hanging out, reading.

[Colton Dunn]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Colton Dunn]

I mean, again, I think the slow choke is also a good way to. To do this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just. I agree. It's. And again, you're great. And this. And the good news is the new person with your number is also awesome.

[Colton Dunn]

And you got to save that gift. You got to save.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have no choice but to save that gift.

[Susan (Caller)]

It was a good choice, Susan.

[Colton Dunn]

You have to send it out to all those people now, separately, later on, and they'll be like she said, that was the fake number, but now she's using it all the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This person inspires you. All right, Susan, we will keep you posted on whether or not we hear back from those.

[Susan (Caller)]

If they say they're showing up tomorrow, maybe give me a heads up so I can. I can warn this homeowner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Legally, we can't. All right, Susan, thank you very much for the call.

[Susan (Caller)]

Yeah, thank you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I appreciate it.

[Sponsor Voice]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at hello helpful pod gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James F. Fosdyke animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Podcast Announcer]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com hereto help pop did.

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