We're Here to Help
Episode 245: Freight Train & Sloth Memes (with Colton Dunn)
Release date: December 31, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode features Gareth Reynolds and guest helper Colton Dunn (Superstore, Key & Peele) as they take listener calls and offer their chaotic blend of advice and comedy. Jake Johnson is absent from most of this one. The pod oscillates between funny personal anecdotes, behind-the-scenes bits from comedy and acting, and live advice sessions on real-life problems from listeners—including a nurse plagued by a snoring coworker and a woman whose recycled phone number is now occupied by a memeing imposter.
Guest Introduction & Banter (00:32 - 07:12)
- Gareth welcomes Colton Dunn as their guest helper, riffing about their experience giving advice.
- Colton: “I think sometimes I'll be a little too confident in my advice and it won't be good advice and people will take it because…” (01:12)
- They swap showbiz anecdotes—Gareth shares a story about being cut from his first commercial, with Colton chiming in (“Very cool time slot.” 03:15).
- Colton reflects on his Superstore experience, the relief and stability of landing the role, and the waiting game between seasons.
- “To have that happen once in this business is great. To have it happen as many times on that show is just, like... what a huge weight.” (05:44)
- They playfully discuss whether Colton gets recognized in real-life big box stores, tying into his TV role.
Caller 1: Nurse with Snoring Coworker (“Lauren”) (09:15 – 36:56)
Problem Recap
Lauren, a night-shift nurse practitioner, loves her job and most coworkers—but one (“Jessica”) snores so loudly during ‘rest lulls’ that no relaxation or sleep is possible. Lauren feels guilty because Jessica is sensitive, and direct confrontation feels risky.
Key Discussion Points
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The Snoring Nightmare (10:00 – 14:33)
- Lauren details the challenge: tight office, quiet time after 1am, Jessica’s “guttural, rancorous snore,” and failed subtle interventions (“I can’t even put my AirPods in because I can hear her over…” 13:35).
- They’ve attempted to page each other, blast the pagers, nothing works.
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Addressing Sensitivity and Confrontation (14:48 – 18:42)
- Colton: “The longer that you don’t tell her, like, that’s gonna be… she’s gonna find out. Somebody’s gonna be like, hey man, you snoring? And she’s gonna be like, oh wow, it must have just been tonight… and then everyone’s gonna be like, no, you’ve been doing it.” (15:14)
- Lauren worries Jessica is too sensitive and might turn defensive.
- Gareth: jokes about getting her fired or “luring her into the call room.”
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Possible Solutions (18:42 – 26:32)
- Colton and Gareth suggest:
- Approaching Jessica “from a place of health and concern—not annoyance.”
- Recording the snoring for medical evidence (with caution on workplace policies).
- Involving a doctor or authoritative colleague to address it formally, “like, have a doctor say, I heard what was going on, I’m a little worried… have you ever taken part in a sleep study?” (22:09)
- Using humor and empathy to soften the confrontation—e.g., bringing in a CPAP machine and pitching it as “try this, girl!”
- Colton and Gareth suggest:
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Roleplay & Rehearsal (29:17 – 33:40)
- They conduct a rehearsal, with Colton playing the helpful doctor and Lauren practicing her pitch.
- Key script advice: “Front-load your pitch with ‘We don’t want to hurt her feelings…’” (32:56)
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Takeaways & Closure (36:13 – 36:53)
- Lauren agrees to pursue the doctor-intervention route, feeling “humbled” by reframing this as a health and compassion issue (“I need to look out for her…” 35:24).
- Gareth: “Allowing a problem to fester is detrimental to long-term health. So it’s time to get in there…” (35:44)
- Colton: “Don’t let things go on for years again.” (35:34)
Notable Quotes & Moments
- Colton on honesty: “I used to snore all the time… I could snore sitting up for sure.” (17:30)
- Gareth, joking about the snoring: “It’s soothing. It’s like a cat purring, you know, but… White noise that’s sort of malfunctioning. It’s awesome.” (29:06)
- Lauren, on guilt: “You guys have humbled me. I need to look out for her.” (35:24)
Caller 2: Meme-Impacted Phone Number Disaster (“Susan”) (37:02 – 56:53)
Problem Recap
Susan changed her number, but the recycled old number’s new owner is impersonating her in social circles—most notably in a group text for her husband’s coworker’s baby shower, responding with a hammered sloth meme (“It’s five o’clock somewhere”) and enthusiastic “Yes!” to invitations, causing confusion and hilarity (and some stress).
Key Discussion Points
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The Sloth Meme Incident (38:56 – 40:16)
- Recap: Someone took over Susan’s old number and is sending memes and RSVPing to events as her, creating disruptions and awkwardness.
- Gareth: Playfully enamored with the imposter—“the person’s a hero… this is awesome.” (41:03)
- Colton: “To confront a person like this when they have the higher ground, I mean, you’re just gonna get… it’s gonna be more memes.” (42:55)
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Advice Brainstorming (42:35 – 52:33)
- Colton suggests ignoring the behavior (“slow choke”) and continuing to get the new number out.
- Gareth pitches: Have a friend text with a “serious emergency” so the imposter feels compelled to stop, or call/text them directly to request a stop.
- They actually attempt to call and then text the person live, drafting a mix of flattery and request:
- “First of all, I want to say I think you’re awesome. The drunk sloth on the couch reply to the baby shower was chef’s kiss… But it’s starting to become a little professionally precarious…” (50:15-53:52)
- They cut a line expressing a desire to meet in person, fearing it’ll encourage an actual baby shower crash: “Maybe the ‘we’d love to meet in person’ should go. That sounds a little bit encouraging them to show up...” (53:10)
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Resolution & Reflection (54:36 – 56:53)
- The text is sent. Susan is reassured it’s the best, most reasonable outcome.
- They reflect on the oddities of recycled numbers and recommend keeping that sloth meme as a badge of honor.
- Colton: “You gotta save that gif!” (56:20)
- Gareth: “This person inspires you.” (56:35)
Notable Quotes & Moments
- Gareth, highlight of the sloth meme: “The yes belongs in the hall of fame of texts.” (50:33)
- Colton, on imposter retaliation: “If you confront this person, I mean, head on… it’s gonna be more memes.” (42:55)
- Meta-joke about the odd confrontation: “You don’t have a lot of options. It’s kind of a Hail Mary.” (54:24)
Thematic Threads & Humor
- Empathy as the underlying theme: Both dilemmas are re-framed not as confrontational, but as moments to extend empathy or goodwill—even in absurd scenarios. (E.g., “approach with concern, not annoyance” for the snoring, and “while we love your comedy” to the phone number imposter.)
- Workplace/sleep/parenting relatability: The night shift, familial considerations, and the perils of group chats and digital identity add a relatable (if exaggerated) sense of modern struggle and awkwardness.
- Running bits: Nurse ‘drug dealer pagers’, the “drunk sloth,” and collective admiration for bold, meme-based pranking.
Memorable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps
- “I can’t even put my AirPods in because I can hear her over.” — Lauren (13:35)
- “Approach with a place of health and concern—not annoyance.” — Colton (24:08)
- “The yes belongs in the hall of fame of texts.” — Gareth (50:33)
- “[Sloth meme imposter]…this person inspires you.” — Gareth (56:35)
Timestamps of Key Segments
- 00:32 – Colton Dunn introduced, advice philosophy, acting anecdotes
- 07:12 – First caller, nurse “Lauren,” snoring coworker saga
- 09:15 – Lauren’s background and problem presentation
- 14:48 – Deep dive into confronting the issue
- 26:32 – Approaching “Jessica” through a third party
- 29:17 – Roleplay rehearsal, doctor approach
- 36:53 – Call wrap-up and reflections
- 37:02 – Second caller, “Susan,” and phone number meme disaster
- 38:56 – The “sloth meme” group chat event
- 42:35 – Brainstorm: ignore vs. intervention
- 46:02 – Live attempt to call/text the imposter
- 53:52 – Final edit and send-off of the solution text
- 56:53 – Call ends; episode winds down
Summary
This episode packs heartfelt humor, improvisational problem-solving, and genuinely useful advice into an hour, with Colton Dunn’s comedic timing and compassion vibing perfectly with Gareth’s banter. From outrageously loud office snoring to a sloth-meme identity crisis, both stories are handled with empathy, creative thinking, and a healthy dose of goodnatured roasting. For listeners seeking laughs, practical strategies, and a reminder to approach difficulties with kindness (and maybe a meme), this episode delivers.
