We're Here to Help – Episode 260: A Disgusting Session & Poke the Bear (with Lamorne Morris)

Podcast: We're Here to Help
Hosts: Jake Johnson, Gareth Reynolds
Special Guest: Lamorne Morris
Release Date: February 11, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode marks the launch of season three on Hulu, introducing the show to a new audience. In classic “We're Here to Help” fashion, Jake and Gareth offer unqualified advice—drunk uncle style—to callers with personal, oddly specific problems. Special guest Lamorne Morris (New Girl) joins to lend his unique perspective and comic energy. The episode features two memorable caller dilemmas: a Czech school teacher having inappropriate sex dreams about students’ parents, and a Chicago Pilates-goer at her wit’s end over a relentless, repetitive playlist. The guys riff hilariously, veer into absurd advice, and find some moments of genuine insight—though not always intentionally.

Main Episode Themes

• Navigating embarrassing and awkward feelings in everyday life
• Finding creative (and often dubious) solutions to unique personal problems
• The dynamic and chemistry between longtime friends and a beloved guest
• The importance (and chaos) of community feedback and inside jokes

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Welcome to Hulu & Setting the Stage (00:41–06:44)

• Jake and Gareth announce their new Hulu partnership and welcome new listeners.
• Inside jokes abound: Gareth’s impending vasectomy, Jake’s hypothetical chimpanzee adoption, and a community kidney donation effort.
• The show’s premise: unqualified but well-intentioned advice, in the spirit of “drunk uncles” or “local bartenders.”
• Quote:
  "Why us? There’s no real good answer for that other than we are. We are good at giving advice. Like drunk uncles." — Gareth (01:34)

2. Call #1: Betty's "Disgusting" Dilemma – Sex Dreams About Parents (11:32–37:45)

Betty's Problem

• Betty (“for privacy”) is a 35-year-old primary school teacher in Prague.
• She has recurring sex dreams involving students’ parents (sometimes multiple parents at once, of both genders).
• Problem: These dreams make her nervous and giggly around the parents in real life, and she fears appearing unprofessional.

The Group Unpacks the Situation

• Lamorne’s comic theorizing: Suggests maybe there’s a cosmic link; “What if the parents have sex dreams about you, too?”
• Jake & Gareth dig for details: Are the parents attractive? Is this a “work fantasy” thing?
• Betty clarifies it’s not about real attraction, but about nervousness and intimidation; the dreams seem to be a subconscious coping mechanism for feeling out of her depth.

Notable Moments & Quotes

• Jake, paraphrasing:
  “She teaches kids... how does she talk to one of the parents she had a sex dream about while seeming normal?” (13:03)
• Betty:
  “I don’t want to have sex with them in real life... It tends to get in the way when I talk to these parents.” (15:30)
• Lamorne’s recurring bit:
  “You a freak, Betty… you got a dungeon in that brain.” (23:46)

The Advice (and Chaos)

• Make the parents less attractive: Attend end-of-year school parties with gross food, or focus on their irritating/flawed behaviors.
• Use aversion: Imagine something disgusting about the parents (bad breath, dirty fingernails, etc.) to sabotage the fantasy.
• Lamorne proposes “alcohol reveals flaws”; Jake floats the idea of “masturbating to a bad session” to create negative association.
• Gareth: Bring Sloppy Joes or fart spray to parties to kill any residual allure. (“Fart spray by your nose before seeing them!” — 27:17)
• Betty's breakthrough: She loves the idea of intentionally creating a gross/unattractive fantasy to break the dream’s spell, expressing gratitude for the power/powerlessness insight.
  • “I will intentionally think about something really, like, unthinkable about them… I will spoil my past memories with them.” — Betty (31:55)

Outcome & Closure

• Betty agrees to the aversion technique, promising to “do the gross session” before her next parent meeting.
• The hosts encourage her to “stay in the fantasy even after it turns you off,” for maximum effect.
• Memorable closer:
  “A disgusting session.” — Gareth (36:59)

3. Call #2: Liz vs. The Pilates Playlist (41:52–66:45)

Liz's Problem

• Elizabeth (“Liz”), from Chicago, endures the same playlist—loud pop with repeating tracks like “Shut Up and Dance”—at her Pilates studio every class.
• The volume is so high that she can’t hear instructors, and the repetition makes it worse.
• She enjoys Pilates but feels like an “old lady complaining.” She wants the playlist changed without being identified as the complainer.

The Group Riffs on Solutions

• Lamorne’s “Techno-Sabotage”:
  Hack the studio’s Wi-Fi/Bluetooth to commandeer the playlist (47:24). “I’ve done it at the airport… I can get on the Bluetooth and change what’s on the screen.” — Lamorne (47:50)
• Practical moves:
  • Wear headphones, play her own music (not ideal in a group Pilates setting).
  • Quietly raise her hand during class and tell the instructor she can’t hear because of the music—hoping others will agree and forces a policy change.
  • Fake an injury so instructor must turn music down for safety.
• Gareth’s subtle protest:
  Place a basket of earplugs with a sign “Free earplugs if the music is too loud” near the entrance (55:25).
• Chain complaint campaign:
  Have the hosts (and listeners) call/email the studio anonymously to complain about the playlist.

“Poke the Bear” Solution & Roleplay

• Final group strategy:
  Befriend the only other Pilates student—a 50-year-old Chicago man—in her class. Mention how loud/repetitive the music is and hope he takes charge in voicing a complaint.
• The group acts this out, with Lamorne role-playing “Bob,” a stereotypical old-school Chicago guy.
• Jake’s tip:
  “Don’t tell him exactly what to do—just complain nearby. He’ll take the hint and complain for you.”
  (62:19–64:50)

Notable Quotes

• Lamorne, on directness:
  “Hey, can you switch it up?... I shouldn’t know the words to Shut Up and Dance.” (56:25)
• Jake:
  “As a 50-year-old guy, he’s already at an away game in a Pilates studio.” (65:00)

Outcome

• Liz is on board—she’ll socially seed the complaint with “Bob,” let him take the lead, and see if the situation improves.
• The hosts request a follow-up.

4. Recurring Jokes & Inside Bits

• Jake's “romance” with Gareth’s mother ("Pam"), including riffing on a fan-submitted erotic painting (67:10–70:56).
  • “It’s me and her on a horse with our shirts off… you can see my mother’s nipple in it. It’s crazy.” — Gareth (67:29)
• Lamorne’s ongoing bits about “being a freak,” “teachers and parents,” and “old Chicago guys.”
• Running joke: Gareth's upcoming vasectomy, with a plea for a doctor willing to film it for the show (closing message, 72:38).

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

– Opening Premise:

• “If you had a problem… you go to a bar, sit down with a couple of blood uncles or fake uncles…you tell the problem and they go, let me tell you how to fix this.” — Jake (02:03)

– On Betty’s Sex Dreams:

• “Sometimes… you look at the teachers like, okay, oh, okay. Sometimes that teacher got a little… you know what I’m saying?” — Lamorne (15:02)
• “You a freak, Betty. And you… got a dungeon in that brain.” — Lamorne (23:46)

– On Breaking the Fantasy:

• “Intentionally think about something really, like, unthinkable about them. I will spoil my past memories with them.” — Betty (31:55)

– Pilates Playlist Solutions:

• “I can get on the Bluetooth and change what’s on the screen.” — Lamorne (47:50)
• “Fake injury works 90% of the time for problems for people who call on this show.” — Gareth (50:51)

– On the Value of Indirect Confrontation:

• “You drop a seed right now... He might go in and say something.” — Lamorne (64:08)

Important Segments & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |--------------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 00:41–06:44 | Hulu welcome, show premise, inside jokes galore | | 11:32–37:45 | “Betty” and the teacher/sex dream parent dilemma | | 41:52–66:45 | “Liz” and the Pilates playlist/volume problem | | 67:10–70:56 | Erotic painting of Gareth's mother, group reacts |

Episode Tone & Style

• Loose, riff-heavy, with a mix of sincere advice and wild, comedic pitches.
• Hosts support callers but often veer into bits and self-deprecating humor.
• Lamorne Morris amplifies the playful, irreverent energy with his own asides and character work.
• Language is colloquial, with occasional explicit moments.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a perfect encapsulation of “We’re Here to Help”: callers bring in small but deeply personal problems (awkwardness, musical annoyance), the hosts and guest dish out both creative and absurd advice, and hidden beneath the sarcasm are sincere efforts to help. Whether you laugh at the solutions or actually try them, you’re part of a community that understands sometimes, the best help is just not feeling alone with your weird problem.

If you’d like your question pondered and “helped,” email helpfulpod@gmail.com.