We're Here to Help — Episode 263:

WEIRD Here to Help: Wolf Moon Eddy & Vanhattan Burger Fairy

Date: February 20, 2026
Hosts: Jake Johnson, Gareth Reynolds
Guest Hosts: Steve Berg, Eric Edelstein
Feature Callers: Kelly (Fort Myers, FL → Newport, RI) & Lindsay (Vancouver, WA)

Overview

This "WEIRD Here to Help" edition finds Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein stepping in as guest hosts, offering their uniquely odd blend of humor, personal stories, and unqualified advice. The episode leans into the weird—discussing quirks of being "big guys," haunted houses, spiritual energies, and the marketing potential of burger sauce fairies in the Pacific Northwest. The calls showcase real listener dilemmas: moving into a centuries-old Rhode Island house that's possibly haunted, and how to pitch a dream job at a beloved fast-food chain.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "Big Guy" Problems & OnlyFans Side Hustle

Segment: [04:47–11:39]

• Eric Andre opens by sharing a recurring experience—strangers assuming the "big guy" didn't press the crosswalk button. This stirs a lively back-and-forth on societal perceptions of large men.
  • "People assume big, bigger folks...are simpletons." – Eric [05:36]
• Steve Berg recounts being doted on at Italian restaurants, fed excessively, and mulls the possibility of capitalizing on "eating for an audience" via OnlyFans.
  • "Do you think there is a world where I can make some real coin...eating on OnlyFans?" – Steve [08:23]
• Eric Andre strongly supports the idea, humorously strategizing how Steve could profit—especially if he’s willing to show his feet while twirling pasta.
  • "If you're willing to show feet and eat...I bet you can make a legit $750 a month." – Eric [09:36]

Memorable Moment:
The two riff extensively—genuine support intertwined with total absurdity—ultimately resolving to float the idea to listeners via Patreon, setting up Steve as an OnlyFans pasta (and feet) influencer.

2. CALLER: Kelly Fears a Haunted House in Newport, RI

Segment: [11:39–42:15]

Background:

• Kelly is moving with her husband, baby, and two large dogs from Florida to a rental house in Newport, RI. The house dates to 1750, and though perfect in every other way, she has a gut feeling it’s haunted.
• Question: How can they prepare for or peacefully coexist with any supernatural presence?

Hosts' Reactions & Advice:

• Acknowledge the Vibes: Eric and Steve appreciate Kelly’s blend of logic and superstition, share personal respect for old houses, and express excitement (Steve) and fear (Eric) for haunted dwellings.
  • "1750. I mean, the odds are pretty good at least—at least 3, 4, 5 people have died in that home." – Eric [20:15]
• On Hauntings: Steve introduces his take on paranormal theory—downplaying the "dead person hypothesis" (DPH) in favor of energy residue and co-creation theories.
  • "Maybe there’s some kind of energy residue that sticks around...I do believe in a co-creation theory." – Steve [21:14]
• Practical Steps:
  • Sage the house: Both recommend saging (with respect for cultural origins) to make the space your own.
  • Open windows & sing: Steve suggests humorously walking around, opening all portals (doors, windows), singing to "release" old energies, and set the tone—possibly making it into a ritual with music, wine, and family.
    • "If you come in and you're timid and you're scared...I think that's what you're gonna get." – Steve [28:19]
  • Research the history: Steve explains how to trace the lineage of your home via public records and newspapers.
    • "You can go...to the county commissioner...every chamber of commerce, every city library will have this info. You can find every person who has owned that house." – Steve [33:35]
• Connecting with Local Spiritual Community:
  • Meet Wolf Moon Eddie: Eric discovers Newport’s "spirit scene," encouraging Kelly to contact the local mystic, Wolf Moon Eduardo (Eddie Kisicki), for a "house midwifing."
    • "I am so excited to tell you—the head of the spiritual subculture in Newport is a man by the name of Wolf Moon Eduardo." – Eric [24:01]
• Notable Quotes:
  • "You're going to make a house from 1750 your own." – Eric [23:14]
  • "Play your music, read whatever texts are sacred to you...and you're reclaiming this home and your energy, and it’s gonna be yours." – Eric [38:42]

Host Dynamics:

• Eric: Cautious, quick to sage new objects and wary of haunted energy. Fears practical jokes involving Ouija boards and haunted dolls.
• Steve: Playful, curious, and more accepting/fascinated by the supernatural. Offers levity and reassurance.
• Memorable Banter:
  • "I do not believe in playing around. There might be an indigenous healer more legit than Wolf Moon Eddie..." – Eric [27:28]
  • "I'm gonna start sending you haunted objects!" – Steve [27:12]

3. CALLER: Lindsay Wants to Pitch a New Role at Burgerville (Vanhattan Burger Fairy)

Segment: [42:22–68:35]

Background:

• Lindsay, longtime Burgerville employee in Vancouver, WA (aka "Vanhattan"), wants to propose a new role that combines photography, videography, website, and digital marketing—essentially, creating and curating in-house creative social content. She seeks advice on proposing a job that doesn't (yet) exist.

Hosts' Reactions & Advice:

• Eric’s Connection: Eric voices Burgerville ads and is deeply enthusiastic about the chain.
  • "Burgerville, the onlyville. Use the app and savor the rewards!" – Eric [47:03]
• Show, Don’t Tell: Both advise Lindsay to prove her value by creating sample content—“show them, don’t tell them.” Eric offers to do a free voiceover for her spec content to help gain traction.
  • "Start making that content on your own...show them your value." – Eric [53:17]
• Surreal, Funny Concepts: Steve suggests leaning into surreal, over-the-top comedic ads with a local flavor—finding comedic actors in the Portland scene and not worrying about big budgets.
  • Pitch 1: Burgerville Spread Fairy — Steve in tights and wings, spreading Burgerville sauce and good cheer, a la old Skittles commercials.
    • "This Burgerville spread is so good on everything...a magical Burgerville spread fairy making the world a happier, better place." – Eric [57:05]
  • Pitch 2: Bomb defusal scenario where Burgerville sauce saves the day.
  • Pitch 3: Fisherman uses the spread to attract fish/leaping burgers—or a talking burger sacrificing itself for the special sauce’s deliciousness.
    • "Sauce you're willing to die for." – Eric [60:44]
• Jingle pitching: The hosts compose a catchy jingle live:
  • "Hey Jack and Jill, walk down that hill and head on over to Burgerville." – Steve and Eric [63:11]
• Resourcefulness: Suggests utilizing local actors/animators and trading on Burgerville’s strong local brand and community feeling—reminding Lindsay she can pay people in Burgerville gift cards.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • "I'm okay handing over my Burgerville job to you, Steve!" – Eric [67:47]
• Host Tone: Supportive, improvisational, and gently challenging Lindsay to take initiative and seize her opportunity with creative, self-produced work.

Lindsay’s Takeaway:

• She’s energized and a bit nervous but ready to begin—plans to research the local arts community and start assembling real, weird, truly Northwest content for Burgerville, with help (“wings spread”) from Steve and Eric’s network.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Steve Berg (on OnlyFans):
  "Do you think there is a world where I can make some real coin...eating on OnlyFans?" [08:23]

• Eric Andre (on supernatural energy):
  "When you would tape a program off of television...there'd be bits of the Airwolf program...almost like a residual energy." [20:46]

• Eric Andre (on sage and haunted houses):
  "You got giant dogs and a baby...You're recreating this energy of your own." [22:31]

• Eric Andre (on local spiritual leaders):
  "The head of the spiritual subculture in Newport is a man by the name of Wolf Moon Eduardo." [24:01]

• Steve Berg (pitching for Burgerville):
  "I think you lean into this being a little surreal...I think you have a fairy and you have a practical special effect with burger sauce..." [58:03]

• Eric Andre (concluding with Lindsay):
  "You are spreading your wings like Steve, the Burgerville fairy." [67:47]

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [04:47] — "Big Guy" Social Experiments & OnlyFans Pitch
• [11:39] — Call 1: Kelly and the Newport Haunted House
• [24:01] — Introduction of Wolf Moon Eduardo
• [33:35] — House History Research and Rites
• [42:22] — Call 2: Lindsay's Burgerville Dream Job
• [53:17, 58:03, 60:44] — Creative Marketing Pitches & Jingle Livewriting
• [67:47] — Lindsay's Takeaway and Fairy Affirmation

Flow & Takeaways

The episode is a hilarious testament to the value of embracing life's weirdness—whether it's using your quirks as a side hustle, facing a possibly haunted home with humor and ritual, or pitching your dream role by showing, not telling. Steve and Eric offer encouragement, ideas, and improv sketches, demonstrating that even the strangest problems are best faced with creative openness and a bit of fun.

Listeners leave with practical steps:

• For haunted homes: claim the energy, celebrate the history, and don’t be afraid to call in mystical or indigenous experts.
• For unconventional career moves: Prove your worth, assemble your own dream, and rally local talent (maybe even with the help of a spread fairy).

The spirit:
“Show, don’t tell. Sage, don’t fear. And when in doubt—put sauce on everything.”