We're Here to Help – Episode 276: "Towel Foul & Brady's Comet"

Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds | Date: March 30, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds dive deep into two main listener dilemmas: a “towel crisis” in a Houston family, and a neighborly battle over light pollution ruining stargazing in Iowa. The pair deliver their trademark blend of humor, bits, personal stories, and actual advice—as well as a much-anticipated follow-up with the “Tree Jim” family saga. The episode delivers laughs while wrestling with real-life chaos surrounding family, neighbors, and adult responsibility.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Podcast Housekeeping (00:42–08:00)

• Jake and Gareth riff on Zoom virtual backgrounds and new lighting features, with playful teasing from Natalie and Jesse.
• Notable Quote:
  “Not in a million years would I have gotten there, you genius.” – Jake (03:44)
• Quick mention of Gareth's upcoming vasectomy and planned Patreon/YouTube content about it ("vasectomy month," Dr. Spitz, filming the process).
• Gareth teases other video projects, with Jake praising Gareth for running point.
• Section Tone: Loose, friendly, and full of the off-the-cuff humor that defines the show.

2. Caller #1: Lindsay’s “Towel Foul” Family Crisis (10:07–32:27)

Caller: Lindsay from Houston, TX
The Dilemma: Her two kids (12 and 16) are cycling through 15–20 towels per week each, causing laundry chaos and resentment. Previous attempts (making them do their own laundry, hiding towels) didn't help. She seeks creative, effective new methods.

The Advisors Unpack the Problem

• Both hosts are horrified at the towel numbers and sympathize.
  • “I truly hate this.” – Jake (11:35)
• Lindsay’s breakdown of attempted solutions illustrates the resilience of “towel chaos” against logic and chores.

Approaches and Solutions

• Numbered & Embroidered System:
  Assign a set number of towels weekly/monthly; towels get initials or week numbers.
• Hotel-Style Rationing:
  Provide only a limited supply of towels (per month/ per kid), mirroring eco-friendly hotel practices post-pandemic. Emergency use is rationed.
• Penalty & Reward Systems:
  • Penalties for using extra or the wrong towels (Jake: “You lose 45 minutes of screen time…” at 15:54).
  • Visual “contract” board or score sheet with stars or demerits.
• Sibling Competition:
  Gareth suggests a head-to-head rivalry:
  “You could have something called the towel foul...and at the end of the month, the winner gets to dictate the evening!” (25:56)
• Punishments, Rewards, and “Servant’s Hour”:
  Loser must serve as “servant” to the winner for an hour—making grilled cheese or playing a sibling's preferred video game, etc.
  If both do well, Lindsay herself is the servant—adding parental stakes.
• “Keeper of the Towels” Role:
  Jake proposes Lindsay personally control all towels, requiring each family member to “check out” a towel, resetting the household’s relationship to towel-use. Lindsay is open to being the “crazy mom” if it works.

Lindsay’s Resolution

• She plans to implement the competition/reward system:
  • 2 towels/week per kid (one main, one emergency), tracked via a chart on the fridge.
  • Demerits for towel misbehavior (e.g. towels on the floor).
  • Monthly winner/loser dynamic: the loser must act as servant for an hour, or if both are perfect, Lindsay serves both kids.
  • Lindsay promises to check-in and share photos/videos of the new system.
• Notable Quote:
  “Anytime you put siblings against each other, where they're competing, they automatically want to do better.” – Lindsay (29:17)

Segment Strength:

• Collaborative and playful, full of real-world parenting wisdom with a heavy dose of relatable chaos.

3. Caller #2: Brady’s Stargazing “Comet” Conundrum (32:35–53:57)

Caller: Brady from Iowa
The Dilemma: In a town of 3,000, Brady’s home is ringed by elderly neighbors’ ultra-bright dusk-to-dawn lights. He can’t enjoy stargazing; previous interventions—including unauthorized lightbulb swaps with motion sensors—haven’t solved the problem.

Explaining the Problem

• Jake and Gareth recognize the sensitivity of asking elderly neighbors to spend money or tinker with security lighting.
• Brady details his attempts—anything from swapping bulbs (which sometimes left lights burning 24/7) to communicating (but with no results).

Brainstorming Schemes & Pitches

• Community/Mayor Involvement:
  Could the mayor champion “bring back darkness for Iowa stargazing?” Get the town to encourage motion sensors—Brady does installation for free.

• Gift Approach:
  Gareth: “Put a wrapped gift of the motion sensors on each person’s porch...and say, ‘I installed one and love it—let me do yours!’” (41:14)

• Extraterrestrial Angle – The “Brady’s Comet” Gambit:
  Jake: Invent a story about a rare comet/star cluster visible only in their area, citing “Steve Berg’s High Strangeness” podcast.
  Neighbors are invited to go dark for a multi-week “comet window” for a chance at cosmic glory.

  • “We could get Steve to make a voice note if you email in specifics and mention your town…” (47:14)
  • Combine with a contest for best photos; winner gets a spaghetti dinner cooked by the hosts.

• Honest, Direct Pitch:
  For the neighbor gone to Florida, just leave a kind note about the new baby’s sleep and swap out the lights—everyone will say yes to helping a baby.

The Resolution

• Brady will:

  • Directly deal with the absentee neighbor using the “new baby” angle and perhaps unscrew bulbs temporarily.
  • For the rest: Blend Gareth’s and Jake’s plans—try the comet/contest angle, plus offer free installation of motion sensors.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “You’re a con man who called two con men for advice!” – Gareth jokes after hearing Brady’s Machiavellian schemes (46:48)
  • “Old people will do anything for a baby.” – Jake (50:50)

Follow-up Plan

• Steve Berg will provide a fake podcast segment about the “comet” to support Brady’s ruse.
• Brady agrees this is more fun than the tired “blame the baby” route.

4. Caller #3: Nick’s Follow-Up – “Tree Jim” Returns (54:11–65:03)

Background: Nick previously called for advice on re-igniting his father-in-law Jim’s party spirit after a legendary “Tree Jim” drunken holiday—jumping from trees, push-up contests, and swimming in boxers.

The Saga Recap

• Nick recounts: Family’s highlight moment was “Tree Jim” cutting loose. Efforts to re-create the magic (themed T-shirts, cocktail schemes) fizzled after sister-in-law called it off, worried about health/safety and appropriateness.

Discussion & Reflection

• Hosts and Nick agree forcing more “Tree Jim” could be risky—he’s no spring chicken.
• Memorable Exchange:
  “I had some partiers in my family, and there were times where the kids were really pushing, and an adult would go, ‘Stop it.’” – Jake (61:24)
• Gareth proposes a future call-in with Tree Jim to celebrate and reminisce, rather than pressure him into risky behavior.
• Nick supports a positive, affirming approach—still loving the fun, but aware of boundaries.
• Plans are set for a “Tree Jim” group chat before the next family holiday.

Segment Strength:

• Balances nostalgia, comedy, and responsibility; showcases the show’s thoughtful take on adults’ shifting roles and the joy (and perils) of family lore.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Gareth (on towel punishment):
  “Towel foul! That’s a demerit.” (25:56)
• Jake (on “keeper of towels”):
  “Now you want a towel in this house, you leave it on the floor, you don’t get another towel.” (24:26)
• Jake (on unconventional parenting):
  “She put a tight fitting 5th grade girl’s jacket on me...I never lost another coat.” (19:06)
• Brady (on elderly neighbors):
  “I’m surrounded by a fortress of lights. I can’t see anything interesting.” (34:08)
• Gareth (on mischief):
  “Everything’s been a lie. About a year ago, you changed their bulbs without their permission!” (46:52)
• Nick (on Tree Jim’s legend):
  “It’s gone down in the archives—favorite family moments.” (55:03)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Tech chaos & vasectomy month talk: 00:42–07:27
• Caller Lindsay – Towel Problem: 10:07–32:27
• Caller Brady – Neighbor Light Problem: 32:35–53:57
• Caller Nick – Tree Jim Follow-up: 54:11–65:03

Episode Tone, Language & Atmosphere

The conversation is candid, occasionally irreverent, and always propelled by Jake and Gareth’s natural banter and empathy. They weave in listener problems with personal stories, never missing a chance to poke fun at themselves or each other. While laughter and bits abound, every segment circles back to actual, actionable advice—underscoring the heart behind the show.

For listeners new or longtime:
This episode distills what fans love about “We’re Here to Help”—real advice, comedic genius, and the sense you’re sitting in the midst of old friends who care about solving life’s small and big messes.