276: Towel Foul & Brady's Comet

Summary

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We're Here to Help – Episode 276: "Towel Foul & Brady's Comet"

Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds | Date: March 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds dive deep into two main listener dilemmas: a “towel crisis” in a Houston family, and a neighborly battle over light pollution ruining stargazing in Iowa. The pair deliver their trademark blend of humor, bits, personal stories, and actual advice—as well as a much-anticipated follow-up with the “Tree Jim” family saga. The episode delivers laughs while wrestling with real-life chaos surrounding family, neighbors, and adult responsibility.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Podcast Housekeeping (00:42–08:00)

• Jake and Gareth riff on Zoom virtual backgrounds and new lighting features, with playful teasing from Natalie and Jesse.
• Notable Quote:
  “Not in a million years would I have gotten there, you genius.” – Jake (03:44)
• Quick mention of Gareth's upcoming vasectomy and planned Patreon/YouTube content about it ("vasectomy month," Dr. Spitz, filming the process).
• Gareth teases other video projects, with Jake praising Gareth for running point.
• Section Tone: Loose, friendly, and full of the off-the-cuff humor that defines the show.

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2. Caller #1: Lindsay’s “Towel Foul” Family Crisis (10:07–32:27)

Caller: Lindsay from Houston, TX
The Dilemma: Her two kids (12 and 16) are cycling through 15–20 towels per week each, causing laundry chaos and resentment. Previous attempts (making them do their own laundry, hiding towels) didn't help. She seeks creative, effective new methods.

The Advisors Unpack the Problem

• Both hosts are horrified at the towel numbers and sympathize.
  • “I truly hate this.” – Jake (11:35)
• Lindsay’s breakdown of attempted solutions illustrates the resilience of “towel chaos” against logic and chores.

Approaches and Solutions

• Numbered & Embroidered System:
  Assign a set number of towels weekly/monthly; towels get initials or week numbers.
• Hotel-Style Rationing:
  Provide only a limited supply of towels (per month/ per kid), mirroring eco-friendly hotel practices post-pandemic. Emergency use is rationed.
• Penalty & Reward Systems:
  • Penalties for using extra or the wrong towels (Jake: “You lose 45 minutes of screen time…” at 15:54).
  • Visual “contract” board or score sheet with stars or demerits.
• Sibling Competition:
  Gareth suggests a head-to-head rivalry:
  “You could have something called the towel foul...and at the end of the month, the winner gets to dictate the evening!” (25:56)
• Punishments, Rewards, and “Servant’s Hour”:
  Loser must serve as “servant” to the winner for an hour—making grilled cheese or playing a sibling's preferred video game, etc.
  If both do well, Lindsay herself is the servant—adding parental stakes.
• “Keeper of the Towels” Role:
  Jake proposes Lindsay personally control all towels, requiring each family member to “check out” a towel, resetting the household’s relationship to towel-use. Lindsay is open to being the “crazy mom” if it works.

Lindsay’s Resolution

• She plans to implement the competition/reward system:
  • 2 towels/week per kid (one main, one emergency), tracked via a chart on the fridge.
  • Demerits for towel misbehavior (e.g. towels on the floor).
  • Monthly winner/loser dynamic: the loser must act as servant for an hour, or if both are perfect, Lindsay serves both kids.
  • Lindsay promises to check-in and share photos/videos of the new system.
• Notable Quote:
  “Anytime you put siblings against each other, where they're competing, they automatically want to do better.” – Lindsay (29:17)

Segment Strength:

• Collaborative and playful, full of real-world parenting wisdom with a heavy dose of relatable chaos.

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3. Caller #2: Brady’s Stargazing “Comet” Conundrum (32:35–53:57)

Caller: Brady from Iowa
The Dilemma: In a town of 3,000, Brady’s home is ringed by elderly neighbors’ ultra-bright dusk-to-dawn lights. He can’t enjoy stargazing; previous interventions—including unauthorized lightbulb swaps with motion sensors—haven’t solved the problem.

Explaining the Problem

• Jake and Gareth recognize the sensitivity of asking elderly neighbors to spend money or tinker with security lighting.
• Brady details his attempts—anything from swapping bulbs (which sometimes left lights burning 24/7) to communicating (but with no results).

Brainstorming Schemes & Pitches

• Community/Mayor Involvement:
  Could the mayor champion “bring back darkness for Iowa stargazing?” Get the town to encourage motion sensors—Brady does installation for free.

• Gift Approach:
  Gareth: “Put a wrapped gift of the motion sensors on each person’s porch...and say, ‘I installed one and love it—let me do yours!’” (41:14)

• Extraterrestrial Angle – The “Brady’s Comet” Gambit:
  Jake: Invent a story about a rare comet/star cluster visible only in their area, citing “Steve Berg’s High Strangeness” podcast.
  Neighbors are invited to go dark for a multi-week “comet window” for a chance at cosmic glory.

  • “We could get Steve to make a voice note if you email in specifics and mention your town…” (47:14)
  • Combine with a contest for best photos; winner gets a spaghetti dinner cooked by the hosts.

• Honest, Direct Pitch:
  For the neighbor gone to Florida, just leave a kind note about the new baby’s sleep and swap out the lights—everyone will say yes to helping a baby.

The Resolution

• Brady will:

  • Directly deal with the absentee neighbor using the “new baby” angle and perhaps unscrew bulbs temporarily.
  • For the rest: Blend Gareth’s and Jake’s plans—try the comet/contest angle, plus offer free installation of motion sensors.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “You’re a con man who called two con men for advice!” – Gareth jokes after hearing Brady’s Machiavellian schemes (46:48)
  • “Old people will do anything for a baby.” – Jake (50:50)

Follow-up Plan

• Steve Berg will provide a fake podcast segment about the “comet” to support Brady’s ruse.
• Brady agrees this is more fun than the tired “blame the baby” route.

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4. Caller #3: Nick’s Follow-Up – “Tree Jim” Returns (54:11–65:03)

Background: Nick previously called for advice on re-igniting his father-in-law Jim’s party spirit after a legendary “Tree Jim” drunken holiday—jumping from trees, push-up contests, and swimming in boxers.

The Saga Recap

• Nick recounts: Family’s highlight moment was “Tree Jim” cutting loose. Efforts to re-create the magic (themed T-shirts, cocktail schemes) fizzled after sister-in-law called it off, worried about health/safety and appropriateness.

Discussion & Reflection

• Hosts and Nick agree forcing more “Tree Jim” could be risky—he’s no spring chicken.
• Memorable Exchange:
  “I had some partiers in my family, and there were times where the kids were really pushing, and an adult would go, ‘Stop it.’” – Jake (61:24)
• Gareth proposes a future call-in with Tree Jim to celebrate and reminisce, rather than pressure him into risky behavior.
• Nick supports a positive, affirming approach—still loving the fun, but aware of boundaries.
• Plans are set for a “Tree Jim” group chat before the next family holiday.

Segment Strength:

• Balances nostalgia, comedy, and responsibility; showcases the show’s thoughtful take on adults’ shifting roles and the joy (and perils) of family lore.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Gareth (on towel punishment):
  “Towel foul! That’s a demerit.” (25:56)
• Jake (on “keeper of towels”):
  “Now you want a towel in this house, you leave it on the floor, you don’t get another towel.” (24:26)
• Jake (on unconventional parenting):
  “She put a tight fitting 5th grade girl’s jacket on me...I never lost another coat.” (19:06)
• Brady (on elderly neighbors):
  “I’m surrounded by a fortress of lights. I can’t see anything interesting.” (34:08)
• Gareth (on mischief):
  “Everything’s been a lie. About a year ago, you changed their bulbs without their permission!” (46:52)
• Nick (on Tree Jim’s legend):
  “It’s gone down in the archives—favorite family moments.” (55:03)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Tech chaos & vasectomy month talk: 00:42–07:27
• Caller Lindsay – Towel Problem: 10:07–32:27
• Caller Brady – Neighbor Light Problem: 32:35–53:57
• Caller Nick – Tree Jim Follow-up: 54:11–65:03

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Episode Tone, Language & Atmosphere

The conversation is candid, occasionally irreverent, and always propelled by Jake and Gareth’s natural banter and empathy. They weave in listener problems with personal stories, never missing a chance to poke fun at themselves or each other. While laughter and bits abound, every segment circles back to actual, actionable advice—underscoring the heart behind the show.

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For listeners new or longtime:
This episode distills what fans love about “We’re Here to Help”—real advice, comedic genius, and the sense you’re sitting in the midst of old friends who care about solving life’s small and big messes.

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Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast. Wait, I got a question, Jesse. Do you know how to turn off the weird little new zoom light that pops up?

[B]

Zoom?

[A]

There's like a. There's like a ring zoom light that's now on my computer, but I hate the glare of it in my eyes. If you've never heard of it.

[C]

No, I haven't heard of it. Natalie's on the zoom. She might know, but she's doing something else.

[A]

I don't want to waste too much time on it. Just. I think I did an update.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now all of a sudden, it thinks my room's too dark, and I'm like.

[C]

Natalie says, I have no idea.

[A]

So, I mean, I'm just the kind of guy. I'm just messing around with my virtual background stuff. Just kind of see what comes up.

[D]

Right.

[C]

I don't love this. Try the. The three dots in your corner.

[A]

This is good.

[C]

Gareth, this is not. You're not. No. You're not a blurred background guy. I'll tell you that right off the bat.

[A]

All right. It's all good.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Let's see. Let's see if there's an office maybe you can put yourself in. Oh, God.

[B]

Oh, God.

[E]

Jake, are you fixing it or are you making it worse?

[C]

He's doing some. He's finding himself. Natalie. I like how Natalie waited till just now to jump in.

[A]

Well, I had to.

[C]

Oh, here, wait.

[A]

I'm definitely making it better. See, you put eyebrows on once. Jake puts eyebrows out.

[C]

Wait, hold on. This is like when you had your grandpa's Snapchat.

[E]

Stop messing with the portrait settings. What are you doing?

[C]

I can put my.

[E]

There's a setting for adjusting

[C]

eyebrows.

[A]

This is incredible.

[C]

Hold on. Look at my eyebrows.

[E]

And see if people notice.

[D]

Hold on.

[A]

Let me try to take all this nonsense off.

[C]

The Shapiro filter was awesome.

[A]

It's crazy that you could do that. Why would anyone allow that for a zoom?

[C]

That is a crazy thing that they figured out. Just put too much money on too much money.

[A]

So you don't know how I can do this weird light thing? Get it out of here? Nobody knows.

[E]

Well, Jesse said he had an idea.

[C]

I think so. If you just go to the video thing in the bottom left and the little arrow.

[A]

Hold on. Video, bottom left, little arrow, eyebrows.

[C]

See that?

[A]

All I have is the bottom left. Yes. Video.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Click that arrow.

[A]

Okay. I say I got imac, blur, background, auto, frame.

[C]

Yep. At the bottom is Video settings.

[A]

Yes, sir.

[C]

Click on that and then under appearance. There.

[A]

Okay. I'm There.

[C]

There should be a. A turn on, turn off button for. Adjust for low light.

[A]

No. Oh, adjust for low light.

[C]

Is that on?

[A]

No, it was off. I'll say manual. What about that? No, but I turned. Now it's on. Oh, no. So that's that. But that is not the ring light.

[C]

The ring light.

[E]

You have an actual ring light attached to your computer?

[A]

No.

[E]

Is there a setting that says edge light somewhere?

[A]

Oh, edge light. Look at you. You did it.

[C]

Were we. Were you recording? Jake? This is good stuff. This is a good extra.

[A]

My little genius.

[C]

This is a good ex.

[A]

Not in a million years would I have gotten there, you genius.

[E]

Hey, man, that's what you pay me the big bucks for.

[A]

That. Is it now crazy?

[C]

That appearance was horrendous.

[A]

I hated it. And it had been on for two weeks. I hadn't mentioned it.

[E]

Why did you flag it right away?

[A]

It was gonna be on indefinitely, but the caller wasn't here. I'll tell you what we got right here, everybody. A real family intro.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[E]

I don't think this is. This is entertaining to anybody. It might be.

[A]

It might be.

[C]

It's a bad attitude, which we. Which we like. That's how we know we're in a good intro. We're all on brand.

[A]

Oh, by the way, Gareth, March 11th. What's going on with the vasectomy?

[C]

May 1st? I mean, I. I was. What we were going to say. This is what we were going to tell people, if you're good with it, is. We say we call that month. That's the month. If you want to get one, be part of the community, we call it vasectomy. Okay, May 1st. I'm coming straight from Texas, off the road.

[A]

Great.

[C]

To go get a goddamn vasectomy from a guy named Dr. Spitz.

[A]

And Kyle's gonna film as much as he can. We're gonna.

[C]

Kyle and I did the a side of the visit, and let me tell you, it was. It's wild.

[A]

Let's do this.

[C]

And he's letting Kyle film the procedure.

[A]

Oh, my God. He.

[C]

This guy doesn't give. This guy wrote a book called the Penis Book. It was a whole thing. And we gotta see your.

[A]

We gonna see your limp penis while you're knocked out.

[C]

I've been very clear. There was a point when we were

[A]

filming the funniest thing that's ever happened. Garrett, if I saw your dead snake dick while you're laying there and you're. If you happen to be going like this, like, oh, oh, I would. I can't try Never recover from life if you're like, I'm actually still feeling something. And he's like, let me just move that little guy to the left and insertion. You're like, move that little guy further to the left. It's close to the knife.

[C]

It's just that it's like we just cut to a doctor's office. He's like, gareth, you'll recover in about two weeks. Jake, it's gonna be a few months. We don't know. I'm like, jake, Jake, slow down, buddy. Breathe through your nose a little bit. Remember what we talked about, the technique? We breathe through the nose. But yeah, we're going to do it. And there was one point in the visit where the guy basically has me drop trowel and the Kyle's behind me and I'm like, this is really.

[A]

We're really getting took off the underpants right in front of Kyle.

[C]

I didn't know what to do.

[A]

Interested?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So what are we going to just. Is it. We going to. So.

[C]

So Kyle and I, all of the

[A]

long form goes on Patreon, but let's definitely release some stuff on YouTube as well.

[C]

Well, Kyle's working on the wheel of Fortune 1 now because that's completed. I sent you a teaser. So he's working on that. We've got a great.

[A]

So funny.

[C]

By the way, we've got a thing with Eric that we're filming that's going to be fucking incredible. And then we're going to do the B side of my vasectomy May 1st. So if you want to be part of it, just let us know. Send us some fucking shit and we'll cut it in and we can do vasectomy as a community. Let's cut our penises.

[A]

You know what I gotta say?

[C]

Balls. I don't know how it works.

[A]

I have been more slammed recently and Gareth has been running point. You're doing a wonderful job. This is a lot of great stuff.

[C]

No, Jake, sweetie. Well, listen, you got to go to Hollywood and make the money, then come back to our little home. Yeah, Jace, Jake's working on a couple of huge Hollywood projects. I'll have a guy named Dr. Spitz fiddling around in my balls.

[A]

I'm like, hey, I've gotta go. And they're like, what's going on? Why are you in such a bad mood? I need to watch a cut of Gareth getting his balls open at. What for? To make me laugh harder than I've ever laughed. Because we are 12 years old and this is funny.

[C]

You guys Want to take a caller?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

We have a holler, guys. You want to wrap up? Well, yeah, I think you just did it.

[A]

Further ado, we're here to help. Streams exclusively on Hulu early.

[C]

That's right. And new episodes drop a full day early every Sunday and Tuesday. So be the first to watch episodes every week. And while you're at it, revisit some of our favorite handpicked episodes from season one and two, all available on Hulu. And Jake, we are brought to you by booking.com Let me tell you this, Gareth.

[A]

Talk to booking.com helps you get it ridiculously right so you can find exactly what you're booking for.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

We have every different travel need [e-mail] what's right for your young family, or in your case, Gareth, you and Luke.

[C]

But separate rooms. Separate rooms. So why don't we just.

[A]

That official.

[C]

Yeah, that's it. You have all shamed me into going to booking.com and changing it from one adult room with two beds to two adult rooms.

[A]

Hey, Gareth, that makes me really happy for you.

[C]

Well, it's really crazy.

[A]

Is that partly because of booking.com because.

[C]

Yes, part of it is because you always Know what? They make it easy on you.

[A]

Here's the truth. When I travel with my family, if it's not for work and I got to do all the booking, I go to booking.com I have for years. It makes it easy. When Gareth books his stuff on the road, he goes to booking.com makes it easy. If you haven't done it, just go. It's easy. So find exactly what you're booking [e-mail]. booking. Yeah, booking. Booked today on the site or in the app. This episode has been brought to you by the great Quint. Let me tell you a little bit about Quint's clothing.

[C]

Really? Everything I wear that I love is Quint.

[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[E]

Hello.

[A]

How you doing?

[E]

Good, how are you?

[A]

I'm doing great. Can I get your first name, please?

[E]

Yes, Lindsay.

[A]

Lindsay. Where are you calling from, Lindsay?

[E]

From Houston, Texas.

[A]

Houston, Texas. And how old are you, Lindsay?

[E]

I'm 43.

[A]

43. You're just a kid. And you got any siblings, Lindsay?

[E]

I do. I have an older brother.

[A]

So just to the baby.

[E]

Yeah, I am. Lucky me.

[A]

Okay, and what's your sign and does it mean anything to you?

[E]

I'm an Aries and not one single bit.

[A]

I love it, Lindsay. The baby in Aries, but who cares? What's your problem today?

[E]

All right, I think this is a good one for you, Jake. But I'll take all the advice I could get. I got two kids.

[C]

This is a chimp problem.

[A]

I was about to say the same. Is it about chimps wrestling in their garage who get hurt too easily?

[C]

So I was gifted six stone gorillas, but I have to get rid of one. How do I figure it out?

[A]

Here's the sad new one for me. This is a good one for Jake. He drinks coffee and talks too much.

[E]

I mean, kids are chimps, right? It's the same concept.

[A]

You got it, Lindsay. All right, so what is it? You got two kids.

[E]

Yes. They're soon to be 12 and 16. So they're not little. They can take direction. But for whatever reason, I cannot get them to use one or two towels per week. It's like 15 to 20 per kid.

[D]

I hate this every week.

[A]

I truthfully, Lindsay, hate this. And I get it.

[E]

It's awful, right? Like hate it. It's so clean when you use it. Why are we using 15 towels, you know?

[A]

And also so much laundry.

[E]

Yeah. And I tried. I'll tell you the things I tried. I. Okay, Made them do their own towels, right? Like I'm no longer washing, drying and putting. Yeah, already did that. They don't care. They just throw it in with their Sunday regular chores. On Sunday they do all their laundry and they do their towels too. And they really don't give one little care about having to do an extra load or two of towels.

[A]

Let me throw. Lindsay, let me throw something out of here really fast. I love that you got these kids doing a full Sunday chore day. Way to take it to the old school in a way that I'm afraid is fading.

[C]

True.

[E]

Yeah, I'm not doing that for them.

[A]

Good for you. More chores. All right, Keep going.

[E]

Absolutely. Well, I mean, that's it. Like I've tried that method and I've tried, I tried like hiding towels, but that doesn't really work either because ultimately they come out and drip in water all over the floor because they don't have a towel. And I still have to deal with it. So.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Neither Methodist works. I'm looking for fun ways.

[C]

Is the main problem here the amount. The main problem is the amount of laundry that stacks.

[A]

Yeah. But it's also. It's too many towels. Yeah, it's wasteful. It's wasteful.

[E]

It's so many towels. And sometimes. So I sent y' all a picture from today that I took like an hour ago today. They're actually nicely piled up in places. But sometimes that pile of 15 to 20 is on my kids floor. Right. And then their room smells.

[A]

Yeah, I get this.

[C]

That's just crazy.

[A]

Right?

[C]

I mean, that's crazy.

[A]

It's too many towels.

[E]

And my, my, I'll say. My daughter is a swimmer, so like I, I do have to give her a few extra because she swims every day, but she could still hang that damn pool towel up and have one shower towel and one pool towel.

[A]

Well, Lindsay does. Is the pool at home or is the pool somewhere else?

[E]

No, it's somewhere else.

[A]

So she comes home, has to get the chlorine off her. Why can't she shower where she swims?

[E]

They don't have the full like facilities where she can do it right then.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So she wants to come home, shower, and then later if she wants to shower before bed or something else. Because here's going to be my first thing. You know, my first pitch is going to be somewhere in this zone and it's a little bit of work, which is annoying, but we are going to potentially name and number towels with like a little embroidered thing.

[E]

Yep, yep.

[A]

So week one, week two, week three, week four. Each month you get what now for the swimming because of the chlorine? I don't know. Maybe, you know, maybe it's one swim towel, one regular towel.

[C]

You don't need the pool towels. You don't need to like, that's different to me than a shower towel.

[A]

Yeah. But either way, afterwards you're coming up huge. Right, but, but here's what I'm kind of thinking. If we could create a very clear numbered system where each week you've got a W1 on it and then W1s for. For swim. Well, if somebody uses something else, there's a fine. These kids.

[E]

I like that.

[C]

Or we tear a reward.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

One or the other.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what would you. So. So if you only use yours, you get a reward.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And we can.

[E]

I think I tried the finding them and that doesn't work. I don't know why they just. Again, it's like maybe they're not motivated by. You know, kids these days will just sit around their room all day. They don't really care about much else, so.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you what you could find is screen time.

[C]

Yep.

[E]

Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

You go, all right, so I saw a week three towel that was waiting when we're in week two and they go, yeah. Then you open up the book. You go, I'm not making the rules. This is a book. What happens if you take a towel from the wrong week? Oh, look at that. You lose 45 minutes of screen time a day for the following week.

[C]

More.

[A]

They go. They go, that's unfair. It's not unfair. It's written in this fake book.

[C]

This fake book that matters. Now, Jake, I want to. Are you suggesting that we go for the month? We're going to give you the four towels. You basically have your four towels for the month. Yeah, like, because I feel like it's almost like in a hotel, if you're there for a few days, you got in front of you the visual of how many towels you have to work with over that course of time, you start kind of thoughtfully rationing it out. So maybe it's like.

[A]

I love what you're saying. We do hotel system post Covid.

[C]

Yes, we. Yes, yes. For new towels.

[A]

You're a hotel pre Covid where everyone just uses towels and piles them up. Next day, new towels. Now they got things where they're like, we're trying to save water.

[C]

Yeah. By the way, Holiday Inn is like,

[A]

we care about the environment. It's like, yeah.

[C]

Lazy. Yeah.

[A]

But what that does is you go, all right, well, I got the two towels and the two little guys. I'm here for five days. Let's make it work.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

So my question to you, Lindsay, is, what is how many towels do you think your kids need a week?

[E]

I mean, to me, it's one for the shower. Like, more than one towel a week is crazy to Be, you know, I agree. The pool towel. So that's like different, right? I take that separately. But shower towels, more than one is insane.

[C]

Okay, Gary, my husband, thinks that I'm

[E]

crazy with that, but I think this

[A]

is where we could get real problems if he's not in agreement, but. Gareth, go ahead.

[C]

Well, I think one seems. I think as an adult, one a week is acceptable. I don't know if we, like, if we were to structure it for say, a month. Like, we're like, here are your four towels, like you said. We label them week one, week two, week three, week four. You've got to figure out as. As adult as you can when you want to use your four towels. That's it. You could add in, like, you get an emergency towel if for some reason you think you need an extra towel

[A]

in the contract, once a month, you get two. You get two emergencies a month.

[C]

Yeah, that's it. So we would get them down to six towels a month. But we're trying to go for one towel a week, two emergency towels for the month.

[A]

But I got a pitch on that, Lindsay. And then I want you to jump in. If you get six. If you get six towels a month.

[D]

Right?

[A]

One a week, plus the two emergencies swimming is, we're going to do something different. Well, if that kid on a Wednesday wants to do the laundry and wash his towel, do whatever they want you want. They're not allowed to pile up on the ground, but you got six a month, homeboy. And if they're piled up on the ground, you guess what, Mom? If it's piled up, you take it. It's gone.

[C]

It's funny to leave them without a towel.

[A]

No Eve Johnson. I used to lose jackets all the time. I would leave them at school because this old baby runs hot. So in winter I'd wear a jacket and I would end up playing sports, drop it off. I'd come home and be like. She'd go, where's your jacket? I go, God, I don't know. She'll go, I'm done buying you jackets. I don't know what to tell you.

[C]

I freeze.

[A]

So literally one day she goes, you lose another jacket. You're wearing your sister's old pink jacket to school? Oh, I lost a jacket. She put a. I was in 8th grade, a tight fitting 5th grade girl's jacket on me, where it just went mid wrist, zipped it up, parked and goes, do not take that thing off until you're inside. That lady stood outside the car with her arms crossed and I'm not messing with Mama Joe Pesci. I walked into the school, past all my friends, in a little pink jacket. Guess what happened. I never lost another coat.

[C]

Oh, gosh. Just smoking a cigarette, watching you take that shameful walk.

[A]

Guess what? It worked. So, Lindsay, the idea of six towels, and if it's on the floor, five towels.

[C]

Yeah. Ration and contract. I like contract. Now, I would throw one more thing in the mix that maybe because this is regimented, we are shifting. But what if in the mix, we add, they each get a robe?

[A]

Seems like a crazy twist.

[C]

It's a. It's just.

[A]

Are you throwing ropes into the mask?

[C]

Because I feel like.

[E]

Robe.

[C]

A wearable towel. I. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with getting a robe.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yes. Honestly, this is. Okay, so one time. This is a tough one. I used to get mistaken for a girl all the time when I was, like, every. Literally. Literally every day. At what age?

[D]

Oh, my.

[C]

From 10 to 16.

[D]

Why?

[E]

I'd be.

[C]

Because I had long hair. I, like, had long hair, and I got a girly face. And so. So I'd be, like, at blockbuster with, like, 10 buddies. And we'd be walking out. We'd all pick, like, three movies for the night or whatever. We'd be walking out, they'd be like, you boys have a good night. You too, little lady. I'd be like, that's that crazy thing to add on at the end. It was mortifying. But. So I told my dad I wanted to get a robe. I was dying to get a robe, right? So he goes to Cole's department store, and we go up to this woman and we go, hey. You know, he's like, my kid wants a robe. And this woman's like, oh, okay. And so she, like, starts walking us, like, you know, all this way. And, you know, I'm starting to go, eh, we're leaving, like, the boys. Like, this is straight. A lot of pinks are starting to emerge. I'm looking legs, jellies. I'm like, yeah, it's a girl section. Walks us up to, like, a pink robe with, like, silky, like, sides, and we both look, and my dad goes one on one for him, and she goes, oh, I'm sorry. I thought. I thought you were a girl. And I was like, never mind. But I wanted a robe. So I'm just saying, you throw a robe in for an emergency event as well. But maybe not.

[A]

But, Lindsay, let's go to you now just to get a sense of where you're at with all this info. Let's Just hear where you're thinking and then figure out what we need to pitch next.

[E]

I like, I like the idea of a certain number. I like the idea of a contract.

[D]

I don't.

[E]

They're taking it away. I don't necessarily have a problem with, but I'm afraid that my 12 year old son is just going to jump in his bed and roll around wet.

[A]

He'll just say, who cares?

[E]

Okay, exactly. He's gonna just say, well, I have these blankets in my bed. I'll just roll around in here and I'll be fine. Which is not a good. That's a new problem. Right. So, yeah, I like, I like the idea of there being either reward when they do well or maybe, maybe instead of taking things away, maybe I need something for a reward when they only use their four child and no emergencies.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I have another kind of pitch because now that I'm hearing more about this, you're in kind of a tricky spot in that the kids are going to kind of follow it. But even over rewarding feels wrong. I'm like, we're just rewarding them not to be crazy. What if we turn you into the keeper of the towels? And that is right now. And in most homes, towels are available to everybody. But if you go to like a hotel back in the day where it's a shared bathroom, you got to go to the front desk and you got to go like, can I get a towel and some flip flops? And they'll go like, leave a deposit. Or if you go to like a, you know, the Russian bass, which I just went to when I was in New York last time, you go, can I get a towel? They go, one towel. I go, awfully small towel. Part of my thigh is going to be visible. And they go, one towel. And you got to leave something behind. So I wonder if you take all the towels in the house and lock them somewhere that only you have the key to, and they only get one towel at a time.

[E]

I like this.

[A]

Right? And then even your husband, they're identify their phones.

[C]

Phone.

[E]

Oh, that hit them real though.

[A]

Yeah, but. And then even your husband goes like, lindsay, you're being insane. I need a towel. You go like this one towel at a time.

[D]

Lindsay, it's me, dad.

[A]

Then you go like this, one towel at a time. But here's why I say this, Lindsay. What it'll do is it'll make you seem a little crazy, but we'll just.

[E]

I'm okay with that.

[A]

I can tell that about you and I like that about you. But what it's going to do is it's going to reset the conversation about towels. And you're gonna go, mom's had enough. Mom's done. So now you want a towel in this house, you leave it on the floor. And they go, hey, mom, I need another towel. And you go, where's your other towel? And they go, huh? Where's your other towel? You checked it out. It goes on the floor near the toilet. You go, I don't give you another towel. Then they gotta get the town. They go, it's disgusting. It's on the floor. You go, well, why would you leave a towel on the floor near the toilet where you piss? What are you, an animal? Gareth, your thoughts on this.

[C]

I like that too. I. I mean, I kind of feel like you could kind of combine them. I do. Like the other thing I was thinking with that first pitch, like, I think you being the keeper of the TO is helpful, a helpful restriction in any of this. But if over the month like you gave, you say they each get four towels, but maybe they're competing against each other for, at the end of the month, a reward. So it's a little more like head to head competition. It could be every two weeks. You could have something called the towel foul. Like if you have, if you find one of your kids towels on the toilet, like near the toilet, like that picture you sent us. Yeah, that's a towel foul. That's a demerit. That's. And you're keeping score.

[A]

That's cool.

[C]

And at the end of the month, the winner gets like a night where they control. They get to dictate the evening, they get to stay up later, they get to order what they want. Something like that where it's just. And the other one has to just kind of either live in the other one's dream evening. Get to part.

[A]

How about this? Gareth going off of that. Lindsay, first of all, do you like this idea? Do you like this? Okay, cuz I like this idea too. What if there was an old card game we used to play called There's a president, there's a vice president, there's executive assistant, and there's the. However many people. The point is, after each round, you then take like 10 minutes and it just turns into like a weird hangout session where the. And the lower people have to kiss the president's ass because there's allowed to be like, I will give you a wild card in the next round. So how about whoever wins the other one has to work for them. For like two hours on a Friday night.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So will you explain the dinner dynamic? So because it's all in fun, it's not like you have to do stuff that sucks.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

It's what we used to do when we had our bet, our NFL bet every year. Loser had to. The winner got to dress the loser up in whatever team regalia they wanted so Jake would be head to toe in packers gear. One year, I showed up with a Packer Santa hat, and he said, I'll wear it, but I do think you're changing the tone of the evening. And I said, you're right. But we. We would get sat far away from everybody but the. The diamond.

[A]

We'd have to go to restaurants.

[C]

We'd go to restaurants. And the dynamic would be that, you know, we would hang, we would laugh, we would talk. But if I wanted to talk about the packers, which was part of the reward, I would say, how good is Rogers playing? And he'd have to say, lights out.

[A]

I would have to be generation Packer friend without any of my little comments that I wanted to make.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

So the idea of it is, is the losing kids has to go along and do what the other kid likes. Servant. So that if the 12 year old wants to play a video game, this 16 year old has to go like, that sounds super fun.

[C]

I'd love to watch you.

[A]

I would love to watch you again.

[C]

Wow, that was a great move there. Nice job.

[A]

And it's only for one hour. We don't make it crazy, but it's a fun thing that Lindsay, you oversee and you film it. And so the loser's like, oh, my God. Then you guys go, once it's over, you go, next week starts now. So that they both want to win this thing because it's funny for them and it's fun to be the winner. Where you go, you know what? I'd like a grilled cheese sandwich. Everyone makes it. And you go, I don't love the crust.

[C]

It's a little crunchy. I like it gooey. I don't like it crunchy. I like it gooey.

[A]

And then go, would you eat this one really fast?

[C]

Yeah, why don't you eat this one while you make me the one that I want?

[A]

While singing.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And yes, Sig, some stuff for me, would you?

[A]

And so that way there are stakes, but you are the kind of keeper. Lindsay, what do you think of this idea? Do you think this.

[E]

I love this idea.

[A]

You do? Okay.

[E]

Anytime you put siblings against each other, where they're competing and Then like a. That makes everything automatically, just because they're competing against each other. Right. They automatically want to do better.

[D]

That's right.

[E]

And. And anytime they have to do something nice for the other person, like, that's torture for them.

[A]

So then, Lindsay, walk us through your version of this and what you're going to do and propose to your family.

[E]

Okay, so I think I'm going to start with they get two towels per week. That's one. An emergency. Right. Like, automatically. We'll check that out. Two thousand.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Throughout the week, we'll be looking for demerits, like towels on the floor, towels on the bathroom floor, towels shoved in closets. All things that happen regularly. They get points associated with demerits. Right. So whoever has the most demerits at the end of the month has to work for their sibling for an hour. I'll do a month because I think week by week won't. Won't work. But I think you're right.

[A]

I think you're totally right.

[E]

And then at the end of the month, they basically have to work for their sibling and do whatever their sibling wants for that entire hour, whether it's play games or interact or cook food. I like especially my daughter, who never wants her brother around. Right. This will be torture if she has to do whatever he wants her to do for a solid hour.

[D]

She'd hate it.

[A]

And if neither of them have any demerits, then you, Lindsay, work for both of them.

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

You give them an hour each, because

[A]

then you get to go. But if you guys don't screw up and you do it right, then I work for you guys.

[E]

I like that, too.

[C]

I like that. And do we want to have maybe, like, I remember in school, you know, you would have, like, a little laminated thing up there. You'd get gold stars. It was a way to actually visualize the scoring as you're going through it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Maybe you want to come up with something that we can see that they can't change, but where you can go, oh, you know, I'm behind. I gotta step it up.

[A]

I like this.

[E]

Yes. Like. Like those little laminated poster boards that had the stars and stuff on them to keep track of it.

[A]

Lindsay, I would put that on the fridge. And when you're first explaining this to the kids, I would have all the stuff thought out so that they can look at the board and go, like, mom, you are crazy. And go, I am crazy. And then go, here's the reality. If it's on the floor, you get a mark if it's this, you get a mark and they go like, are you kidding? You go, no. And here are the consequence. And you do. You know, every month you just move the top. February, March, April.

[C]

Yeah, I think.

[A]

I think this will real. This will really work.

[D]

Yep, I think so too.

[E]

I love it.

[A]

I think, do us a favor. Send a photo of the board.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

We would love to see that. And then send us video of the punishments.

[C]

Yep. I would say check in after the first month. Let's do a check in and see what it's like.

[A]

Yes, exactly. Right.

[C]

All right. Go get them, Lindsay.

[A]

Thanks.

[C]

Appreciate it.

[E]

Thank you, guys.

[C]

Bye. Thank you. Hello.

[D]

Hello.

[C]

Hi. It sounds like there's a child that needs to be attended to, but that's okay. What's your name, please?

[D]

This is Brady.

[C]

Brady, where are you calling from today?

[D]

I am calling from Iowa.

[C]

How old are you, Brady?

[D]

I'm 37.

[C]

37. What is going on? What can we help you with?

[D]

So, yes, what's going on? As I said, I'm in a small town here in Iowa. There's probably about 3,000 in my town. I got five neighbors close to the river and I like to stargaze. And I have a beautiful fenced in backyard. But my house is surrounded by a fortress of lights. Front, back, side. I moved in about four years ago, bought the house from an elderly lady. So the master bedroom has blocked out shade. So it doesn't bother me too much while I'm sleeping, particularly. But when I'm out back and trying to enjoy the stars, I can't see anything interesting. I've had a chance to confront one neighbor and he said, oh, my lights are pressuring in your room. I said, no, yours is on the side of my kids. And he said, well, we'll take care of that. And they're snowbirds, so they leave. And he hasn't done nothing. This is two summers ago, so there's more, but I'll get into it. My specific question today is how do I convince my neighbors to shut the lights off at a certain time or simply change to motion detectors? Is there dust till dawn sensors right now, all five of them, surrounding my whole house.

[A]

Interesting.

[D]

There's. Yeah, there's been more, but that's. That's my question to start off with.

[C]

We've got some pictures of the lights. Is that helpful? Sure.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

So a little more. I've.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

They're brutally bright.

[D]

This is kind of awesome that I'm taking. Getting the call now because I've been kind of. I'm over two with the neighbors. I've done a couple things. I installed a giant.

[A]

Gosh, this is a lot, Brady.

[C]

A lot. Yeah.

[D]

Do you see the photo of the giant spotlight that I installed? There should be two vehicles in it. And that's. That light is for, like, a target. So it makes it daylight outside. And that worked for about a month or so on the front houses, which was pretty nice because I could sit on the front porch and enjoy it. And then they just decided, you know what? I don't give a.

[A]

So the neighbors. Nobody cares that there's this many lights.

[D]

No, it's mostly elderly folk.

[A]

Okay. So here's gonna be. So here's gonna be the issue, Brady. The motion sensor is the move. But here's the question. Here's the problem with it. It's an expense, and you're gonna need an electrician. And a lot of these people are not going to want to spend the money on something they don't think a problem is. But that is the solution. The question is, is how do you come up with the money for everybody to switch the lights and have an electrician do it? That gets really complicated. The idea of put. Yeah. The idea of potentially. And I don't know how small your town is, but do you know the mayor of the town?

[D]

I do.

[A]

Is this mayor potentially somebody who would play a game with you?

[D]

So I've been down a few. Let me answer this first. I'm pretty handy and I haven't gone this route, but I thought about approaching the neighbors and offering to install them myself. Haven't done that yet. So this is where it gets funny and why I said, it's kind of a cool calling now. So I have. I first reached out to the pod last August.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And didn't hear back, obviously. And we're sorry, brother.

[A]

We get a lot of emails, brother.

[C]

Sorry, Brady. Good lord stuff.

[D]

We need some help.

[A]

We're with you. We got you.

[D]

So I pulled a page around that time episode. I. I went to Home Depot looking for some motion detectors myself. And the guy informed me, you know, why don't you just get some light bulbs that are motion detectors? Apparently they make LED bulbs that do this. So my wife said, get your camera out, because I wanted to send this to the pod back then. And I ran over in broad daylight with a ladder and swapped out to the motion.

[A]

Oh, this is the move.

[C]

I mean, this is already our pitch to keep going.

[D]

So it worked, right? I thought it worked. What happened was it confused the dusk till dawn sensor and the lights were on 24 7. So the reason it worked was because the older folks across the street thought they're being frugal. And I saw them come out to go for a walk one day, sweethearts. And they looked back and were confused. Why are the lights on right now in broad daylight at 4pm and so it worked for a while because they just shut them off and then they forgot to turn them on at night.

[A]

And then what happened?

[D]

So. And then they just got used to turning them on and off. So I feel a little bad because now they're. They're. Dusto. Dawn is not working and my motion sensor bulbs are out there and they just. Their lights function as regular light bulbs right now.

[A]

But are they off? But are they off during the night?

[D]

One of them forgets sometimes and they're off. The other one is pretty. Pretty diligent with turning it on at night. Right.

[A]

But when they turn on at night, they are. They're just motion sensor.

[D]

No, they're on. Once I change those two bulbs, they're. They're just like a regular functioning light on a switch.

[C]

You've solved nothing. You've made it worse.

[A]

Are you okay?

[D]

Yeah, I. I've made. Yeah, I've solved nothing. Pretty.

[C]

What was your mayor angle, Jake?

[A]

My mayor anger was going to be we get a letter from the mayor or you get a fake letter from the mayor saying we are trying to bring the beauty back to this town at nights for stargazing. We are a small Iowa town. Let's use why we're us and not the big city. So mandatory sensor lights after 9pm Neighbor Brady Willing to do install for free so that it's not an expense. You can just do a light bulb here. Contact Brady if you want it. But we are hoping that everybody in the community does this. Actually get it to the mayor and actually get everybody in the town to get this letter. Not a fake. Talk to the mayor about this and let's actually see if you can get mandatory or not mandatory heavily suggested so that we can bring the natural darkness back to town and bring a little bit of charm back to this town.

[D]

I love how that starts. However, the mayor doesn't have that poll. It's. There's a whole city council and like a meeting about that. And we do have like a. We do have like a thread like communications and facts for my town and I have made a message on there and there's been a bunch of like anonymous participants and it's really funny. So I could actually send. I like screen recorded it I can send that to Jesse for you guys to see sometime. But back and forth. But our city council is pretty,

[A]

pretty strict.

[D]

Unopen minded. They're very unopen minded.

[A]

Yeah, I gotcha. Well, it's an old school. I like.

[E]

What?

[D]

But the bear, I know him personally in like kind of went to school with the guys younger. He. I could get a letter from the mayor like but I don't know legally maybe not. I could ask him and who knows

[A]

if it'll even do anything.

[C]

What if you. I, I have a couple ways to slice it because I think the idea of if you're willing to gift them the motion sector sensors and you're willing to do the install. What you could do is you could be like you could say you want a contest or something like that and you got a bunch of these motion sensors and you're willing to install them. But it might even be better for you to put like a wrapped gift of the motion sensors on each person's porch and say I installed one of these. I love it. I'm willing to do the same for you if you're interested. Brady. And put your phone number.

[A]

I have an idea. Brady.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

What if we create. You start going around to people and going did you guys hear about the new comet that is going to be passing over us? And you say you heard it through Steve Berg. It's in the high strangest thing but supposedly over your section of Iowa there's like this amazing thing at midnight that has been happening with the stars and the gazing and potentially seeing comets that it's funny but where you guys actually are located if there's total darkness, you have one of the most beautiful views in the Midwest. And would everybody be okay going into total darkness at night now motion sensor for safety. You go like of course. I don't want a raccoon get into your garbage, Mama and papa. But other than that, are we okay doing this just to see if we're able to see this comet or these stars or this alignment that has not been seen in thousands of years. The idea of the extraterrestrial, the amazing, the extraordinary. But it's being blocked by these lights and maybe we could all get some participation in this.

[D]

This is glorious because I'm thinking blend Gareth's idea and that one say I won the motion sensors and I could, I could go to the two neighbors, I changed the lights and say yeah you know I noticed your, your lights aren't turning off anymore.

[E]

Something wrong?

[C]

I wonder what happened.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Motion sensors. Could I could I put them in for it. Yeah. And then on your take, Jake, what if. What if we did like a could. Is it at all possible? What if Steve Berg did a mock recording of that?

[C]

Very possible.

[A]

Yeah. Of course.

[C]

You can have this done in eight minutes.

[A]

And what would you want? That you would play them the audio?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I could say, hey, I was listening to this podcast called High Stranges. Apparently there's a comment coming right over our town, you know, or near about.

[A]

Yes, I think this sounds perfect.

[C]

I. I think this is really good. I. I think you could also maybe I like all of this. So this might be a hat on a hat. But you could have Steve say something along the lines of so from everyone in this area, I want to get some filmed footage of it when it comes. We're not where there's a window of time where it's going to happen. And whoever sends me the best footage wins something. So you could even say to your neighbors, so we get like a catered meal at the. I mean if we win

[A]

or the other thing we could do. Brady, what is it you do for work?

[D]

I'm an executive director at a55/community.

[E]

It.

[A]

You're in the perfect neighborhood for.

[C]

It sounds like you took your work home, Jake, as far as jobs go, I mean I couldn't wanna go more into it, but go ahead.

[A]

It's on the nose, the shuffleboard. But you know what you could say is you could say that one of the things you're working on to get like a higher degree, you could say you go to Walden University, which is an online school that's one of our sponsors and you could say you've started studying this thing and for your one like an essay you're doing, you're hoping to be able to study the stars more and can everybody in the community and they go like. And be very nice but like if it's a problem, no worries. But because I'm so excited about this for my studies and I might actually want to write a thesis statement on our geography and the stars above. But it's a long process where I have to study the changing of the stars. One of the reasons I live in Iowa and I like live in a small town is because the ability to see them. If it's okay with you, because I'm being an inconvenience to you, can I change your lights on my time in my dime to motion sensor and explain how they work for you so you don't have to do anything? But it's because at night I'm working on this 10 year thesis, which is insane. It's embarrassing it's taken me this long, but I'm studying it. I love stargazing, I love researching and so if you're okay with it, it won't change your anything. It'll just. I'll go in there, replace and show. You can leave the light switch on or off, or you could turn it off at the beginning of the night, but all it does is it stays dark if it sees any motion. If it's for security, the lights will blare. But what would help me a lot is it would allow me to do

[C]

my thesis and I would attach a value to this. Be like this thing cost 200. You know I'm going to give it to you for free just because it's really going to help me with my work. Yeah, people love free. My mother gets a free thing. It's over.

[A]

Yes. And I'm willing to do it for free. Obviously it would mean a lot to me. And then they say like, let me pitch in. You say like, no way.

[C]

Yeah, no, I'll do it.

[A]

All your pitching in is letting me gaze at the stars. Yeah. I think your answer is going to be a yes, but still like a. That's right.

[D]

That's still just. It's, it's just a lie. I mean, being a small community, they're all gonna. A lot of people know me around

[A]

here, so I hate to tell you, Brady, Steve Berg thinks a lie too, babe.

[C]

Yeah, everything. By the way, Brady, so far everything's been a lie. By the way. About a year ago, you went into their backyards and changed their light bulbs without their permission. That's not an in earnest activity, my man. You're a con man who called two con men and you're asking for the truthful route. I'm sorry, that ship has sailed, my man. We're inventing fake comments with Steve Berg's podcast.

[A]

Okay, you want the non lie? You knock on their door and you ask if you could put a light sensor on because it's so dark with the spotlight, you want to be able to look at the stars.

[C]

Or you want some great lies? You tell them you got a shark. You say you got a shark tank pitch. In six months you invented a light sensor that is so specific for this neighborhood. You're going to move a lot of units, but the first thing you need to do is have some metrics and you're going to install it in their yards and you guarantee this is going to be the best Light situation they've ever dealt with.

[A]

So Brady, what are you thinking of doing? Where's your head at that?

[D]

I, I like the first idea of blending the two. The, the contest coming up with the units myself offering to install based on this amazing podcast I heard and excitement for it. It's. It's an easier lie to sell. How about that?

[A]

Okay, that makes sense. I get that because they, I hear what you're saying that they do know you. We could get Steve to make a voice note if you email in the specifics of the town, the town name. He can mention that town if you say a few towns around too. So like you know basically the zip code and zip codes around you how that is a prime area for the next 18 months.

[C]

I, I can, I think this is great. I can already tell you. And this is coming from me. We will be editing because he'll be going. There's a lot of just delicious activity happening up there lately and let me tell you, everybody's losing. Cool. And the winner of this contest get the free spaghetti dinner then.

[E]

I'll cook.

[A]

I'll cook that. I'll honestly cook that. I'd love to.

[C]

I will literally cook that. This is not too far away from me. Jonathan.

[A]

Hey, Berg, off air, you want to go? Absolutely not. I'm not going to Iowa.

[C]

I can't, I can't make it. What are you talking about? I'm so busy here.

[D]

Got two podcasts.

[C]

It's crazy.

[D]

Yeah. Another anecdote. The neighbor that's the biggest nuisance, he's gonna be the hardest one because he's on the, let's say, west side of my house where my kid's bedroom is and we. My wife just had a baby six weeks ago and I've been sleeping in the living room on the same side of the house on a. Hide a bed. So it's directly affecting me right now. They are still down in Florida and they have five of the brightest lights of.

[A]

It's so probably. Okay, so this one. Brady. Brady, this is easy. He's in Florida. Go put sensors on those lights.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Anybody who's involved.

[D]

Okay, okay, let me finish. He's got 24 hours surveillance.

[A]

So what when he comes in, you go, I got a baby sleeping here. You.

[D]

I like that. My, my idea was to put a sign in my yard off of his property facing right at his cameras that says shut your.

[A]

Yeah. So but this, I mean, do you have his contact info in Florida?

[D]

No, I don't.

[A]

So go switch it. I would by the way. I would switch that right now. And I wouldn't talk about the Steve Berg thing. I'd go like this for him. I got a newborn, man. You're in Florida, babe. Yeah, you're shining it in. So I did you a favor. That's easy.

[D]

Maybe I'm painting the wrong picture because this guy's super nice too. I've had a beer with him in

[C]

the garage, but yeah, that's what I mean.

[A]

But a really sweet send like hey man, sorry to do this, did not mean to offend. These lights are waking up the wife and the newborn. I'm dying over here. I switch these. If you have a problem with them, please contact me.

[C]

A little, I think a little envelope on the porch for when he gets back. By the way, Brady's a real berg already because the way he talked about that neighbor. We got this one who goes down to Florida. These things are blaring like there's a jailbreak.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh yeah. Well, we gotta get this guy who's actually like super sweet. We had a beer in the garage. This guy's great. He makes IPAs and I just love the.

[A]

All I'd have to do is ask him and they're wouldn't be an issue. Brady, here's what I'm going to do in my final pitch to you. I'm going to go away from the Steve Berg thing. I'm going to go away from the comet. You're going to say that you have a new baby and the lights are keeping them up and can you do these sensors just because the new baby and every old person is going to say yes to a baby.

[C]

I'm going to go ahead, Brady, My final pitch is going to be that you have these sensors that are going to be great for the area. There is a. A shooting stars have. There's been a lot of shooting stars activity. You're entering a contest for high strangeness. So if you let me put this $200 light sensor on there for free, you're not going to notice a difference. It's an upgrade for you and it helps me.

[A]

So now, Brady to you. What are you going to do? The floor is yours.

[D]

Okay, I'm gonna take your advice on the snowbird neighbor. I'm just gonna go over there and probably just unscrew the bulbs. That way I'm not taking anything or damaging anything.

[A]

Great.

[D]

Maybe le Nice note. You know, I don't know, something sweet but for the rest of them, I

[E]

think

[D]

I called the show because I don't want to just blame the Baby, I feel like that's too easy. So I'm taking Gareth's pitch go with the fake comment and try and see if I can convince these people to. The only problem with that is I'm afraid they might just say when is it about? And can we shut the lights off then? So there's a loophole there.

[A]

The comic, the comic could be anytime. You don't know that's the problem.

[C]

And we could have Burke say some crazy shit like it's definitely going to happen within this two month period but there's also a good chance of a comet cluster which happens once every thousand years.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

So we could be looking at six or seven of them.

[D]

I, I think that's far more fun.

[C]

Okay, well what we will do next is we will get the. We'll get Berg to send you that. I think you also get ready with your pitch of how you're upgrading all of these sensors for your neighbor and I mean I think we go from there. Jake signing off.

[A]

Yeah. You feel good about this Brady?

[D]

I. I feel good. Yeah.

[A]

Let's do it.

[D]

Some good ideas.

[C]

All right buddy, so we'll get the burger Cord to you about the comet cluster which are 8 minutes long.

[D]

Can I have the unedited version?

[C]

Sure, sure, why not?

[D]

Awesome.

[C]

Brady, I'm not gonna lie to you. I honestly think Berg should come out and hang out with you for a couple weeks. I think you guys would really hit it all. Awesome, awesome.

[A]

Thank you for the call Brady.

[C]

You can tell he's surrounded by old people all the time. All right, bye buddy.

[D]

He's probably like eight hours away. Yeah, get some lasagna together.

[C]

Oh good lord. He'll be there. All right buddy, thanks.

[D]

All right, thanks guys.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, we can keep you without video. What's up Nick? Should we do it with the video? Just for one, just to see. We already said it was really weird Nick.

[E]

Popping.

[C]

We already saw you Nick. Let's see that beautiful face.

[A]

What's up bud?

[C]

How's it going dude?

[A]

All right Nick, we know this is a follow up. That's all we know so remind us what that first call was.

[B]

Awesome. I feel like I'm missing out there without a monkey head in the background.

[C]

Yeah you are. Get involved.

[B]

So I rang in about a year ago because I was having an issue with my father in law.

[C]

Oh I think I know.

[B]

Yeah, so he teased us once by getting drunk and being a life inside

[C]

of the party jumping from a tree.

[A]

Oh, is this the tree?

[C]

Yeah, it's the Tree daddy.

[A]

All right, so really fast. Nick, Nick, you just take over, set us up for somebody who hasn't heard the episode. What was the original problem? And then what did we pitch? Take your time.

[B]

Yeah, so my father in law, he's a bit of a gentleman, reserved, cool, collected and very disciplined. And last year, no, it's a couple years ago actually, we went holiday family get together, six of us. Him, my father in law, mother in law, sister in law, her boyfriend and my wife and me. And one night, it was the last night of the holiday, he just decided to send it and it involved just shots, vodka, gin, God knows what else. And he just went on a mad one which is completely out of character. But it just so happened to be just the best thing ever. So he was diving into the pool and his boxes, challenging people to like a push up competition. He climbed a tree, challenged me to a tree climbing, climb off or whatever. And, and it was just absolutely amazing. So, you know, it's, it's gone down in the archives, you know, favorite family moments really. And, and the problem was it was the last day of holiday. He had to drive back the, the morning after from the south of France back to the midlands England and he was like throwing up all night. It was just an absolute nightmare. So since then, the four kids, you know, plus 30 now, but the four kids were, we tried to get Tree Jim back on the scene because what

[A]

was, what was the problem with your first call?

[B]

Well, the problem was helped me get my father in law drunk again because it was okay.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So you wanted to get him, you wanted to get him drunk again just because it's so fun.

[B]

Oh, it's amazing.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And you guys were like quite rightly morally questionable. Like you were, you're like, do we really want to push someone to drink? And then I showed you the video

[A]

and you jumped in a tree.

[C]

He jumped from the tree. And everyone was like, no, no. And he was like, yeah.

[A]

So your original problem was how do I get him back to being in party mode? And what did we suggest?

[B]

Right, so there were loads of crazy suggestions. I'm sure you're not surprised by that. One was hiring a, like a cocktail, a cocktail mixologist to come round to the holy.

[A]

That's a solid idea.

[C]

That is.

[B]

It was. Yeah.

[A]

I mean he would get face.

[C]

Yeah. Like a mixologist.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not sure that you would. I don't know. But this is a challenge. So the next one was get one of the daughters, you know, Apavillia, apple of the Icon thing to make like a signature cocktail for him and cool it.

[C]

He has to keep like a gym drink or something, like a gym tonic.

[A]

If they were like, hey, have this Jake and Coke. I'd be like, I'll have another.

[C]

Honestly. Yeah. Takes so little.

[A]

I'll get the glass.

[B]

And then, so. And then eventually we settled on. We go.

[E]

We're going.

[B]

We were going on holiday again for two weeks, Sicily. And I was going to take custom T shirts. And you've got fans to draw in picture ideas for T shirts, which I actually used. I've got a T shirt here.

[A]

Oh, really? Wait, so, yeah, fans wrote in T shirt ideas and you were gonna all wear them or just. He was gonna wear up.

[B]

Wow. So six of us. I bought six.

[A]

200.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And the idea was to. To every. Not again. Slightly wear them on the lead up to whichever night was going to be the night just to draw attention. And it was like patching Tim's extension. He was like, what's going on here? What's with all these T shirts?

[A]

The. Am I looking here?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then unlike the. The pinnacle moment, he had had a couple of cocktails, he was sort of on the precipice and I was like, right, now's the time.

[A]

He's loose.

[B]

I gave everyone a T shirt. And so the mother in law, the T shirt, sister in law, her boyfriend

[A]

Jess and I had a star and

[B]

I was about to give it to. And then my sister in law looked at me like, gave me evil devil eyes and went, don't do it. I've got a bad feeling. Don't do it. So I. I whiffed it basically.

[A]

And you didn't. You did the right thing.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And then afterwards it kind of all came out in the wash anyway. And since then it's been like a big family joke. Tree Jim, please.

[D]

Beep.

[B]

Absolutely, absolutely loved it like he did. Yeah.

[A]

And he loved the attention. Did he listen to the episode?

[C]

Yeah, he did.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And he read the comments. He read the comments. And those fans, the listeners, absolutely love tree Jim.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So can we see what the photo, the shirt looks like?

[B]

Yeah, I've got to hang it up here. I'll send the. I'll send a picture into the.

[A]

Yeah, please, let's see it so you

[B]

can put it on social. Have I turn this around? I'm not going to be able to.

[C]

This is like doing a FaceTime with my mother. Oh, my God, this shirt is amazing. The shirt is way better than I thought.

[A]

Agreed.

[E]

Free.

[C]

It's kind of like an old cartoony guy in a tree with a cocktail. And it says Free Tree Gym.

[A]

And he looks like a little boy.

[C]

So you, so you. Yeah, he looks kind of like, like a howdy dude. So you all were prepped, ready to go. Free Tree Gym pulled the plug because your sister in law was like, I don't like, he's like a vampire. I don't like where it's heading. And then basically just through showing him the outpouring of our fans love for him and listening to the episode, we did Free Tree Jim him.

[A]

Well, kind of. But he hasn't got drunk again.

[C]

He hasn't.

[B]

He hasn't got drunk yet. He hasn't got drunk since this was last year.

[C]

Have you had a holiday since then?

[B]

We've had Christmas, but we've got a holiday in June for two weeks. And I don't think this is over.

[A]

But the, I will say the thing that complicates it. This feels like a great follow up. But not a bell ring. But not in a bad way because what the sister in law told you was we don't need to add this drunk. And there's truth to it. Now it's up to Jim what he wants to do. But we would need to know why she did that. But I know that like, you know, I had some partiers in my family and there were times where the kids were really pushing and then one of the people of their generation, a lot of time would go like stop it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And you'd be like, it's just funny. Like he barfed in his hand and put it in his pocket. It was hilarious. You'd have to go, I guess it's not funny to you guys, but it's so funny to us.

[C]

But the difference here, Jake, is that Tree Jim, it was like hanging out with a superhero. I think we should have Tree Jim call in with you before this next holiday and I think we should just

[A]

say talk to him.

[C]

Yeah, just, just you know, give him some love and let him know that nobody wants a barfing in our hands placing in our pocket situation. But everybody loved Tree Jim and we don't need him to outdo first album.

[A]

Right.

[C]

But everybody wants a followup.

[A]

I love Tree Jim. I don't think we need to get him that drunk again.

[C]

He doesn't need to. He doesn't.

[A]

We can fall off a tree.

[C]

We may don't need him in the tree. But that energy, Jake, if, let's, let's say it's enclosed.

[A]

If we can get that close that you handcuff them to a rain.

[C]

No, we just do it. It's an inside evening. We wait for a rainy night or something like that.

[A]

Once you release Tree Jim, you can't keep his ass.

[C]

Listen, we're here to please. I look. And nobody thinks that should have worked, but somehow it did. Is he told everyone to off crazy Nick. It's up to you, Nick. I would offer that before this next holiday. Why don't you and Tree Jim Collin, let's just compliment and see if we can grease the wheels towards.

[A]

That's interesting.

[C]

Another appearance.

[A]

What do you think, Nick?

[B]

So like. Yeah, he's. He's no spring chicken. Although he's a bit of an athlete. And you know I would be concerned if he was in a dangerous situation. But I do want to see him get drunk more.

[C]

Well, what if we put rules on him? What if we invite Tree Jim out and the rule. Hold on. It doesn't work inside tree

[A]

when you and I are drunk. I mean Gareth and I, our whole friendship form. Because we would get too drunk and put beers on each other's head. On plane, on our own. Yeah. But the whole idea of releasing Tree Gym, the inner Tree Gym in all of us is there are now no rules.

[C]

I see.

[B]

The metaphor you used last time was like bowling but with the guide rails up.

[A]

Yeah. By the way. Compete with him on that then. So get drunk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And have a little get. The problem is is, I mean he's really high in a tree, man.

[C]

Wait, but what Nick was saying was right, that, that, that was the analogy was that that we want to find a way to enjoy the sport but make sure we don't have gutter balls.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Which is.

[A]

I think it's impossible.

[C]

I think it's possible. And I'd like a chance to close with Tree Jim.

[D]

I.

[C]

As a matter of fact, I'd just like to talk to him for a minute. But we don't have to.

[A]

No, but let's have a. I mean if you're. If. Will Jim get on a call with us?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, I think he would love it. Yeah.

[A]

All right, let's do a. Let's do a follow up, the four

[C]

of us before the holiday. We just want to talk to.

[A]

Well, let's do a follow up, the four of us and see what happens. Happens.

[B]

Awesome.

[C]

You know Jake, if Jake gets on the phone with Tree Jim, we'll see. Yeah, you'll.

[A]

We got to see what we're trying to do here.

[C]

I know what we're trying to do, Nick.

[A]

We appreciate this was great. Let's get one more call.

[B]

Okay, we're good. Just a. Just a. A pitch there. There might be more comedic value in it if did the follow up on his.

[A]

Let's just do us and him then.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. It gives him a chance to throw me under the bus then.

[A]

You're totally right. We'll do. If you could hook it up with Natalie or Jesse, we'll have him on. We'll talk it out.

[B]

Awesome. Cheers, guys.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Bye.

[B]

Catch you later.

[A]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] here to help pod to see our entire catalog.

[C]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdyke, animation by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[A]

That was a Headgum podcast. That was a Headgum podcast.