Podcast Summary: "We're Out of Time"

Episode: Charlie Smith on Childhood Trauma, Addiction, & Launching Your Life

Host: Richard Taite
Guest: Charlie Smith
Date: October 14, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features a heartfelt, raw conversation between host Richard Taite and Charlie Smith, who shares his journey from a traumatic childhood, through addiction and recovery, to building a purposeful life. The discussion dives deep into the roots of addiction, the impact of childhood trauma, overcoming negative self-talk, responsibility as parents in the face of the fentanyl crisis, and the essential role of hope and personal purpose in lasting recovery.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Hope and Origins of Trauma

• 00:00–02:57:
  • Charlie sets the tone: “The one thing that I got that I still have today is hope. Hope is a belief about the future can be better and that I can redefine the way that I live my life. Hope stands for Hold On, Possibilities Exist.” (Charlie Smith, 00:00)
  • Charlie shares his upbringing in a model Catholic family in small-town Maine, but reveals a violent, troubled home life: “I suffered my first closed fist punch in a bloody nose at the age of 6 years old at the hands of my violent dad… that violence would continue and escalate until I was 19 years old.” (Charlie Smith, 02:58)
  • The disconnect between outward family image and inward reality.

2. Coping Mechanisms and Descent into Addiction

• 02:57–05:52:
  • Charlie’s early coping strategies: working from the age of 8 and escaping via school and alcohol.
  • “I had my first drink at 12 years old. I like to forget, and so I chased all three of those things out here to California.” (Charlie Smith, 03:15)
  • Professional success masked inner pain—by his mid-30s Charlie was a full-blown alcoholic and opioid addict, living a double life.

3. Addiction's Wreckage & Facing the Truth

• 05:54–09:05:
  • Reflecting on his turmoil, Charlie describes passing surface-level life tests (career, money, family) but failing the fundamental “look in the mirror” test.
  • “I couldn't pass the love myself test… at the end of the day, when you can't look yourself in the mirror...it's an empty, empty feeling, bro.” (Charlie Smith, 08:12)

4. The Lifesaving Power of Connection and Support

• 09:05–12:57:
  • The pair discuss how they met—through group therapy in early sobriety—and the importance of unwavering friendship through recovery.
  • Richard: “I felt like if I didn't show up every single week, you were going to die. I was so scared you were going to kill yourself.” (Rich, 09:48)
  • Charlie relates the isolating loss he felt in early recovery: “It's a really lonely place without someone like you.” (Charlie Smith, 11:38)
  • The cycle of mutual support is revisited when Richard leans on Charlie after his own transition away from his treatment business.

5. Finding Purpose Beyond Success

• 12:57–15:16:
  • Moving from material success to purposeful living: “For the first time in my life, I was pursuing material wealth...Now, it's about purpose.” (Charlie Smith, 12:57)
  • “Abundance good, excess bad. Every property has to have a purpose.” (Charlie Smith, 13:36)
  • The emptiness of leaving a meaningful role: “You couldn't breathe...it didn't have anything to do with money. Had to do with really helping people save their loved ones’ lives and that's…no greater purpose.” (Charlie Smith, 14:32)

6. The Fentanyl Crisis & Urgency

• 15:16–17:08:
  • Both speakers stress that America is “out of time” in addressing fentanyl and addiction.
  • “There's no experimenting…now that's a death sentence.” (Charlie Smith, 16:26)
  • Urging parents to act decisively, not waiting for children to “grow out of it.”

7. Sobriety, Self-Esteem, and Thriving

• 17:08–19:42:
  • “Sobriety is not its own gift...if you can't replace what you held most valuable…you cannot stay sober. And why would you?” (Rich, 17:40)
  • The gap between physical sobriety and mental conditioning; the narrative from the past must be reprogrammed.

8. Rewriting the Narrative & Battling Negative Self-Talk

• 19:42–26:01:
  • Taking back authorship of one's story—“My life, my pen… Only if I took this back.” (Charlie Smith, 19:43)
  • Insights into expectancy theory and the “computer virus” of negative self-beliefs seeded in childhood.
  • The daily, ongoing battle with negative self-talk: “Confidence and self esteem are a daily battle, not a decisive victory.” (Charlie Smith, 24:31)
  • The vital need to actively foster a positive, constructive “inner champion.”

9. Launching into Purpose and “Acting as If”

• 26:01–31:54:
  • Practical advice for those in early recovery:
    • Live by principles, not preferences.
    • “The first thought you’re not responsible for, but you have to process it through a filter of principles.” (Charlie Smith, 27:01)
    • It’s not enough for others to want it for you; hope is the catalyst: “You make them see that it's possible…that I can redefine the way that I live my life.” (Charlie Smith, 28:28)
    • Acting your way into better thinking—through consistent, simple, celebrated actions.
    • “Act as if you’re the person you want to become…get the reps in of doing it, do it consistently, and then celebrate it.” (Charlie Smith, 30:05)

10. Universality of “Not Enough” & Managing Internal Critic

• 31:54–35:51:
  • Even high achievers struggle with being “not enough.”
  • Richard and Charlie candidly share their most persistent inner critics.
  • Control over thoughts vs. reactive thinking: “For the untrained mind, the thought’s in charge. For the trained mind, the thinker is in charge.” (Charlie Smith, 33:04)
  • Rather than focusing on what NOT to do, intentionally create and recite positive identity statements.
  • “If you don't have an identity statement, then you're just open to the interpretation and comparison of everybody who wants to put one on you. And fuck that, that is awesome.” (Charlie Smith, 34:10)

11. Embracing Adversity—The Buffalo Story

• 35:51–38:07:
  • Using the analogy of cows vs. buffalo in a storm: Cows run from adversity and suffer longer; buffalo face it and grow stronger.
  • “Adversity is coming in all of our lives. We can either be a cow and run from it and get decimated… or we can…face that storm and run through it.” (Charlie Smith, 38:00)

12. The Deadliness of Fentanyl & Parental Grief

• 38:07–40:09:
  • Charlie shares the devastating impact of fentanyl, citing a friend’s son who overdosed from drugs bought online.
  • “If I was still in that active addiction, needing my fix, we'd be dead. Dead. There's no chance I would be alive.” (Charlie Smith, 38:38)
  • The life-long, irretrievable pain of losing a child to overdose: “He'll never be the same.” (Charlie Smith, 39:49)

Memorable Quotes

• On hope and recovery:
  • “Hope stands for Hold On, Possibilities Exist.” (Charlie Smith, 00:00 & 28:49)
• On living purposefully:
  • “Abundance good, excess bad. Every property has to have a purpose.” (Charlie Smith, 13:36)
• On negative self-talk:
  • “Confidence and self-esteem are a daily battle, not a decisive victory…you must give your inner champion a voice.” (Charlie Smith, 24:31)
• On facing adversity:
  • “Adversity is coming in all of our lives… we can…face that storm and run through it.” (Charlie Smith, 38:00)
• On the impact of fentanyl:
  • “If I was still in that active addiction… we'd be dead. Dead.” (Charlie Smith, 38:38)
• On loss and grief:
  • “He'll never be the same.” (Charlie Smith, 39:49)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00: Charlie defines hope and introduces core recovery theme
• 02:58: First details of childhood violence revealed
• 05:54: Discussion of addiction’s wreckage and double life
• 08:12: The inability to self-love despite outward success
• 09:16: The powerful, life-saving friendship story between Rich and Charlie
• 12:57: Shift from material pursuit to purposeful living
• 14:32: Why losing meaningful work can feel suffocating
• 16:26: The urgent, deadly reality of today’s fentanyl epidemic
• 17:39: Challenge to the “myth” that sobriety alone is fulfilling
• 19:43: Charlie holds up the pen—symbolizing taking control of your life story
• 24:31: The daily battle against the inner critic
• 27:01: Principle-based living and decision-making in recovery
• 28:49: "Hope stands for Hold On, Possibilities Exist"
• 30:05: The practical method to launching forward in recovery (keep it simple, be consistent, celebrate small wins)
• 31:52–32:13: Both men honestly reveal their most painful inner beliefs
• 34:10: The necessity of a positive identity statement
• 38:00: The buffalo versus cow story—approaching adversity head-on
• 38:38: The deadly modern risks of fentanyl in addiction
• 39:49: The irreplaceable grief of a parent losing a child to overdose

Notable Moments / Themes

• Symbolism: The pen Charlie holds up becomes a central metaphor for reclaiming control over the narrative of one's life.
• Relatable Honesty: Both speakers openly discuss their own struggles with negative self-talk and identity.
• Empowerment: The message continually returns to personal agency, purpose, and responsibility (for oneself, and for one’s children).
• Parental Call to Action: Multiple moments emphasize that parents must act decisively to protect their children; waiting or hoping for the best is a risk too great.
• Practical Takeaways: Actionable advice given for creating small, consistent habits, developing positive self-talk, and seeking meaning—whether in early recovery or any major life transition.

Guest Information

• Charlie Smith’s contact:
  • Instagram: @charliesmithspeaks
  • LinkedIn: Charlie Smith
  • Website: charliesmithspeaks.com

This episode stands out for its deeply vulnerable storytelling and practical advice, making it essential listening for anyone impacted by trauma, addiction, or searching to launch a new chapter with hope and purpose.