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Nick Swardson
I want to write comedy about. The stuff that I really liked was Steve Martin, Martin, Mole. These guys that could look like they're selling you something, but it's actually nothing. And I loved that. The most ideal reaction to my comedy would be a person in the audience laughing, saying to the person next to him, that was stupid.
Dylan
I heard you're sober.
Nick Swardson
Who told you?
Dylan
You did.
Nick Swardson
I was on my way to Vegas, and I just decided I'm going to land and have a drink, and I'm performing tonight at this casino. Go down to the pool, have a drink, go to my show. Just so much alcohol. And took it to my room and just drank it and fell asleep and then woke up to pounding on my door, the casino, and hotel security, because I was supposed to be on stage 20 minutes ago. And that's how quickly alcoholism just wrapped me right back up. We got to go to the bathroom at 2 in the morning, go downstairs, take the equivalent of like, five shots because my heart hurt, my chest hurt. It didn't, like, make me think maybe I shouldn't do this.
Dylan
How long did you go on that run for?
Nick Swardson
10 years.
Richard Tate
Thank you for listening to the we're out of Time podcast with Richard Tate. If you haven't already, please follow the podcast rate and review. And if you're getting value out of we're out of, share it with someone else.
Dylan
You know, Nick, soon.
Nick Swardson
All right.
Dylan
Thanks for coming, man. I appreciate it.
Nick Swardson
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Dylan
Yeah. So I heard you're sober.
Nick Swardson
Who told you?
Dylan
You did before. Before the gig. That's when I. Yeah, that's when I do all my preparation for the show. I. It's very voluminous. It's about six minutes.
Nick Swardson
Yeah, yeah, it's nice. I mean, it's. It's nice. I do the same thing when I'm know about to do a show. I'm like, on the drive there. I should really investigate this. And. And luckily, the LAS is doing a. Do you ever do that where you're, like, wanting to listen to NPR and they're doing a donation drive and you're like, there goes a week of me listening to radio because I cannot listen to them begging for money. I wish they had money. That'd be nice, but that would be nice. Yeah, I.
Dylan
When you don't have money, it kind of sucks.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
I've been so poor that I couldn't pay attention. I went ahead and I was so poor, I had to buy six of the fake top ramen for a dollar instead of five for the real top ramen yeah, that was a bad time.
Nick Swardson
There was a six. Was a package of six.
Dylan
Yes.
Nick Swardson
Yeah, yeah. No, I've been there. Never really cared much for money or about. It really is nice. But yeah, sobriety for me. It's my second round of it, Final round.
Dylan
She had the first time.
Nick Swardson
12 years. How of like from Seattle, got sober at 17, moved to LA, stayed with it for a while, and then just decided. I think I, you know, I think it's what everyone does. It's like, you know, I'm an adult now. I'm like, I've been on the Tonight Show. I've got a Comedy Central special. Like, I could handle this and could not handle it from the first time that I did it actually, which is kind of funny. Like, I was in. I was on my way to Vegas and I just decided I'm gonna land and have a drink. This is gonna happen. I'm performing tonight at this casino. I'm gonna go down to the pool, have a drink, go to my show, went down to the pool, had a beer. I was like, oh, you know what? I'll get like a mixed drink. I've never really done that. Cause I was 17 when I got sober. So like, and I go to the bar and I order this like absinthe filled concoction that it's probably like a Long island iced tea in some way. Just so much alcohol. And took it to my room and just drank it and then fell asleep and then woke up to pounding on my door. And it was the casino and hotel security because I was supposed to be on stage 20 minutes ago. And that's how quickly alcoholism just wrapped me right back up. It was just, it was, There was no question at that point. It was, it should have been like, oh, let me go talk to somebody, tell them what happened. But then instead of doing that, I went home and didn't tell anybody. And then pretended like I was having my first drink at a dinner with my wife and some friends. After talking about it for a while and saying, like, I think I could try it. Like, let's just give it a shot, see what happens. And so alcoholic.
Dylan
Yeah.
Nick Swardson
And then pretended to have a margarita for the first time and was like, wow, that's all I need. You know, cut to me almost immediately, you know, like sneaking shots of booze, like everywhere I go. Friends, houses, my house. Like, only booze.
Dylan
No pills.
Nick Swardson
No, I did have a pill phase. I had a.
Dylan
No, I mean during this phase.
Nick Swardson
Not during this phase. Everything. Yeah, everything. Yeah.
Dylan
Cocaine.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. No, there cocaine, though. I never really. I just did when people gave it to me.
Dylan
You never bought cocaine?
Nick Swardson
Never bought it.
Dylan
And then you. Then you didn't do cocaine.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
If you don't buy your own cocaine, unless you're like a hot girl who never buys cocaine, you don't have a problem with cocaine.
Nick Swardson
It never got there especially. But it. Towards the end, it was a more and more thing, more and more regular thing to keep me up, to keep me able to drink more.
Dylan
That's right.
Nick Swardson
But it was never my drug of choice.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
I really wanted to be subdued.
Dylan
So pills and booze.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. Yeah. I had a really great pill phase, you know, that I did have a way of seeing when things were going to be really dangerous. Like, oh, this pill stuff is maybe more dangerous than alcohol.
Dylan
Like, you would never stick a needle in your arm.
Nick Swardson
I would have, but I never did. No.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
I'm not afraid of needles.
Dylan
That wasn't your thing. Like. Okay, that's a bridge too far.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. And nobody ever offered it to me.
Dylan
Oh, God.
Nick Swardson
You know, like I. The coke thing was. Became offering and it was like I would lose a weekend to coke for sure if I'm performing in Denver and, you know, the wait staff gets it for me or something.
Dylan
Did you ever get to that show?
Nick Swardson
Yeah, I did. And it was. I remember being horrible. I remember being. Because it was just in the same building.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
You know, I just got in the elevator and went down. But I just remember being out of it. Like I just said that it didn't phase me. It didn't like make me think maybe I shouldn't do this.
Dylan
How long did you go on that run for?
Nick Swardson
10 years.
Dylan
Really?
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
10 years?
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
What was the wreckage?
Nick Swardson
The wreckage is, you know, divorce. But that was actually after sobriety. But I mean, you know, the wreckage happened in that time.
Dylan
Well, that was during the ten year run.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. Yeah. And it was just. I compromised everything, you know, I compromised. I didn't grow.
Dylan
Well, wait a minute, let's go back to that.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
You went ahead and got divorced and you've got an 11 year old child with that woman. Right.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
I know how it feels to not be under the same roof as your children. It's gotta be. It had to be painful for you.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. I mean, and then the pandemic hit, which was, you know, like even a more weird thing to like have, you know, not knowing if he's safe when he's over there with all this stuff going on. Making sure she's being safe. But she is. She's a Great mom. And. And that. That was hard, but I also. It helped me kind of reclaim my life, you know, like, it. It really helped me go to meetings. Like, I had time on my own to do things and that.
Dylan
Meetings were there meetings or do you go on the Zoom?
Nick Swardson
I know during COVID I was doing Zoom, but I got sober before COVID got it and. But yeah, I was a big meeting guy. My first time in sobriety, I loved it. I just. I would sit in rooms and smoke with men three times my age.
Dylan
Remember when we could do that? God, it was the best.
Nick Swardson
Just bad coffee and cigarettes in Seattle. Like, raining outside and just the best Vietnam vets and just. Just hearing it and like, you know, being like, well, I haven't lost anything yet, but, you know, I. I know that if I do it again, I will. And then I did. I mean, I just. I lost. Almost lost my life. I mean, I ended up in the hospital and just from delirium, tremors. I.
Dylan
That's. You know what, man? For those of you that don't know, it's just you drink so much alcohol that when you wake up in the morning, you're shaking so bad and you're so sick. You have to keep drinking. You have to start drinking. Like it's six in the morning. You gotta start drinking.
Nick Swardson
It wasn't even 6 in the morning. It was wake up to go to the bathroom at 2 in the morning, go downstairs, take the equivalent of like five shots because my heart hurt, my chest hurt.
Dylan
And you had to get back to bed. Yep.
Nick Swardson
And I remember being convinced for a long time that our bed was lopsided because my blood was like rushing one direction of my body. I think it was rushing up here. Like my legs were getting like, numb. And I was convinced that the bottom of our bed was higher than the head and was constantly trying to. And in the end it was just like my body was so messed up that it was like blood wasn't transferring.
Dylan
Like, how long is. How long did you have that bed?
Nick Swardson
Years.
Dylan
Did you sleep in the same spot at night? Yeah.
Nick Swardson
Okay.
Dylan
Your bed was uneven. Not to.
Nick Swardson
Not to.
Dylan
But I'm glad you thought otherwise and it got you sober.
Nick Swardson
But when I got sober, though, I wasn't like, my blood wasn't running right. Yeah.
Dylan
And your bed was fine.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. Oh, okay.
Dylan
I'm wrong.
Nick Swardson
No, but it. It wasn't. I. I'm not saying that I don't think that it could have been, but I. I do think that my body wasn't running right for sure. You Know, like, the pain that I was feeling and, like, the. The numbness of my limbs, like, that's what I would wake up with, my legs being numb.
Dylan
You had deep. You had the dts.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
That's so bad. You have the DTS for any extended period of time, and it's very hard to get you back because you're a wet brain.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
So you were right. You were, I don't know, a year or two away from that, huh?
Nick Swardson
I was. And I. When I checked myself into rehab, well, I had friends do it for me, but I. I kind of put my hands up, and she said, I need help. I got into rehab, and they had me for two days, and they were taking care of me. You know, the nurses.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
And that's when I was hospitalized, when they couldn't take care of me anymore because they found me naked in the backyard in the middle of the night.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
I've been talking to walls. I thought there was a radio station.
Dylan
You just need a higher level of care.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
But once you were stabilized, you could have gone back.
Nick Swardson
I went back.
Dylan
That's right.
Nick Swardson
But, yeah, I woke up in the hospital. Who knows? I mean, I was there for, like, five days, I think.
Dylan
Yeah. How did you feel when you woke up in the hospital? Was it, I got to get out of here and have a drink, or was it, this is just kicked my ass and I've got to change my life?
Nick Swardson
Yeah. Oh, no, I was never. I'm going to go have a drink again because My son was 5, and I just decided I'm not compromising the rest of right now. He might never remember and know of me as somebody who drank, even though I'm gonna tell him and he'll know for sure, but he'll never remember that.
Dylan
Thank God.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. And so I. And it. It was not an option. I never was. Like, I was the guy in rehab that if people, you know, because there's some kids there whose parents have thrown them in, and, you know, you're in meetings and they're, like, off, like, talking and trying to, like, derail a program, and it's like, hey, some of us care. Like, I need this. I'm gonna die.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
You know, like, it was very serious to me.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
And also, I was really worried about performing again. And in rehab, they were taking me out to the improv.
Dylan
That's great.
Nick Swardson
I had a nurse that would drive me to the improv and I would do a set, come back.
Dylan
Do you know what that's called? That was a loving thing. They did for you.
Nick Swardson
Oh, yeah.
Dylan
Because that's called exposure therapy. And you told them, this is what I do, and I want to get back to it. And what happens with that, whether they told you or not, is. And you probably were feeling. This is. You feel like you're not going to be funny anymore. Yeah. Right. And so they want to titrate you into this thing for a couple of reasons. Number one, you ain't drinking there. So you have the mindset of, oh, I'm gonna go. I can be there and not drink. Right.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. Really going into a nightclub scenario, which is the world of. Of comedy.
Dylan
And that's what you know.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
And it's. And it's neuroplasticity. Right. So even if you're not planning to do it, unless you've done it a few times beforehand and it really becomes visceral, it could be as easy as you're not even thinking about it. You're having a conversation, and because you've done it, this is what you've done. And so you order a drink and you don't even think about it, or someone hands you a drink. It's no different than if you lived in a place for 20 years and you moved to another place for four or five months and you're talking on the phone. Well, the car knows the way home. Which house does it go to?
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
Goes to the one that you've been to for 20 years, because the car knows the wack.
Nick Swardson
Well, this is what you actually said something before we were taping that I thought was. I wanted to know more about, but about nicotine.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
So I quit nicotine in December, early December. And I've been doing it for 30 years. You know, it's like the one thing I've just. It's been a constant.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
Never away from it.
Dylan
Sure.
Nick Swardson
And then now. And you. And you said, like, are you. Is your head clear? You know, like, what is the time? Because they say seven days or less. And the addiction, physical addiction is gone. Right. Like, the body needing it is gone. The brain, though. Yeah.
Dylan
I need. The more, more, more thing, the I need to reach for it is gone. It was gone for me, but for five months, I could not get my head clear. And, you know, I think for a living. So it was really hard for me. So what I did was I didn't pick up the cigarettes again, and I was smoking four packs a day. I mean, I'm not an alcohol. I'm a real addict. Like, I don't have substance use disorder. Okay. Like, I'VE got alcoholism and drug addiction.
Nick Swardson
Well, I'm just curious about like, how long it does take your brain to.
Dylan
I don't know because I folded after five months. But I didn't smoke cigarettes again. What I did was I would wear a patch. And I'm wearing one now. And until I have my coffee and a patch, I'm not really awake. So if I, if I'm doing something critical at 7, I'm waking up at 5 because I want to be clear.
Nick Swardson
Yeah, yeah. You can't wake up at 6:30 and just roll into something.
Dylan
No, but how did you. But how long did it take your head to clear or is it not clear yet?
Nick Swardson
I don't know. I think it's clear. I mean, as far as I know, you know, I mean, it's. It's never been fully clear.
Dylan
Because you don't remember what clear is?
Nick Swardson
Yeah, I don't know at all. I mean, I know that I remember the amount of vodka that I was drinking, which was about 2/5 a day around and one and a half or two, depending. Sorry.
Dylan
Yeah, no problem.
Nick Swardson
I remember this guy in rehab telling me, you know, that one of the guys that was driving me around that worked there said like, oh yeah, my. I drank the same way you drank the way you're talking about vodka, you know, and, and he's like, your brain, this is going to be years until your brain is like clear of it and until it's functioning normally again, you know, and like really kind of explained to me what I've been doing, you know, and I can't remember exactly what he said. Even I've looked up since and read and you know, it's a fascinating thing what you are doing to yourself when you're drinking beyond getting a buzz.
Dylan
You know what you can do that might, that might be okay to clear that up. I do the fish oil every morning. That's good. Throw a patch on. That's really good. And it's healthy for you too. Okay. I don't know if it's healthy, but it's not bad for you. It's all the delivery system, right?
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
So if you're smoking it, it's a bad deal. If you're putting the patch in, it's a bad deal. But if you have a nicotine patch on your arm, there's no problem. And it actually makes you more clear. So I like that. But I like the hyperbaric chamber thing for you. So if you go and do a 40 series of the hyperbaric chambers at a 1.6. Which is concussion protocol. Okay. It'll work better. It helped with my concussion really well. And, I mean, I'm still not anywhere close to the same, but it's certainly doable.
Nick Swardson
Hyperbaric chamber.
Dylan
Yeah.
Nick Swardson
What is that?
Dylan
Okay, so you sit in a coffin, in a Lucite clear coffin, right? And they pump this oxygen in and it clears the brain because you have so much oxygen, it clears you up. That's my understanding of it. Yeah.
Nick Swardson
Like, I like the idea, too. I've always wanted to do one of those chambers. One of those cryo. No. Where you just go in and it's dark and you're in, like, lukewarm water and you're laying there and. What do they call it? It's like deprivation tank sort or. No.
Dylan
The thing where they do your body fat.
Nick Swardson
No, the thing where you, like, get into a little tank and it's dark with no sound, pitch black, and you're in, like, salt water. Like, that's like, lukewarm. And you just stand there for an hour.
Dylan
That's the scariest I've ever heard of.
Nick Swardson
Yeah, it's like an mri, but you're really comfortable. People. People, like. I remember people being like, you got to do mushrooms and do one of these tanks.
Dylan
Oh, my God, that's a death trap way now.
Nick Swardson
I mean, this is like a Joe Rogan thing. Like, Joe used to have the. I mean, when I. When I did his podcast and when he lived out and whatever he. Castle. Whatever. That area. What's that area that everyone lives and, like, Justin Bieber. That's rich.
Dylan
Oh, Hidden Hills, Caleb.
Nick Swardson
Yeah, Calabasas.
Dylan
But Hidden Hills is in Calabasas, and that's the only place to live when you're in Calabasas. It's secure. You get an acre of flat land. There's horses. Oh, yeah, Very safe. Great place to raise children.
Nick Swardson
Yeah, he had those just built in there. He's like, you wanna do one after the pond? I'm like, probably not the one.
Dylan
What?
Nick Swardson
He had these, like, deprivation tanks or whatever.
Dylan
Oh, my God.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
And this was Joe. Joe Rogan.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. I don't know if he still has that stuff, but I remember he had it at his Calabasas place.
Dylan
Right. He. I saw him. Funny thing, I didn't know who he was. And my buddy Chris Bell was on his show because he did something called Bigger, Stronger, Faster, and it was like a cult documentary that. For weightlifting and fighting and stuff like that. And Joe loves that stuff. And then he did a new one called Prescription Thugs, which is about the evil of opioids and prescription drugs. And so I watched it because I love Christopher. And so I watched the show, and as I'm watching it, I'm looking at this guy, and I'm like, that's the cool guy from espn. That's the fight guy. I had no idea he had a podcast. I had no idea he was comedian. I. I just thought he was the cool fight guy.
Nick Swardson
News radio.
Dylan
Didn't know.
Nick Swardson
Did. No, it's funny.
Dylan
Didn't know.
Nick Swardson
It's funny how something finally makes it into your world.
Dylan
That's right.
Nick Swardson
And how you. I. I mean, it's like my son watching a Marvel movie, and he's like, wait, isn't that guy in Harry Potter? I'm like, yeah, he plays a couple different mythical kind of creatures. Yeah, these are. These are different guys they're playing, but, like. Yeah, but also, he was in a movie when I was young that was like. You know, it's funny. It's just, like, how they. How people find things.
Dylan
I'll never see Tate Tatum O'Neal as anything but the picture. And the Bad News Bears.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
Ever.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
Right?
Nick Swardson
It's hard to get past the first time you saw somebody. Right. Some people are never gonna like the kid from. And he's, like, around. From Macaulay. Yes. I mean, that's a tough one.
Dylan
That's a tough one.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
Okay.
Nick Swardson
One time I was doing a show and. And Michael J.
Dylan
Fox.
Nick Swardson
Michael J. Fox. Yeah, he did. He did some movies. He, like, had a career.
Dylan
You know, Know him from anything other than Back to the Future, even though he was on that show.
Nick Swardson
Milk Money.
Dylan
Milk Money.
Nick Swardson
I think it was the name of a movie. I just remember I did, like, his movie. There was a couple movies I really liked.
Dylan
Milk Honey should be the name of a band.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. I mean, it's a great name.
Dylan
That is a great.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. Yeah. But one Till White is doing a show in Minneapolis, and one of the wait staff came back, and they're like, hey, Macaulay Culkin's in the audience. I was like, oh, that's weird. Okay, then hung out with him afterwards. I mean, great.
Dylan
Dude, Give me two scoops. I ain't driving.
Nick Swardson
That's so good. Yeah.
Dylan
So he's doing another movie now. Yeah, he's like a sequel where he's the parent.
Nick Swardson
Oh, really?
Dylan
Huh. And he looks the same.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
Just bigger.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. No, he. When I. When I saw him, he had, like, the long hair, and he was kind of in his. Because, you know, he was, like, dating Mila Kunis. For a long time.
Dylan
Oh, wow.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. Ashton Kutcher.
Dylan
She's beautiful. And she married out. Ashton?
Nick Swardson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's.
Dylan
He's another one with great style. He's got. He. He has a barn thing too, I think.
Nick Swardson
Oh, yeah. In his backyard.
Dylan
Yeah. No, no, no, no. The whole house.
Nick Swardson
Like, he's got, like, this.
Dylan
Really. With the high ceilings like this, but I think they're 25ft, so it's like. Anyway, it's just a magnificent house.
Nick Swardson
Yeah.
Dylan
It could be Ryan Reynolds, too. I don't know. I get them confused.
Nick Swardson
It's hard. I mean, there's. There's just a lot of people. That's what.
Dylan
I'm sorry, have you ever seen those two in the same place at the same time?
Nick Swardson
No. I mean. And there's multiple people that I'm curious about. Yeah, right. How many? Yeah, it's like. It's like my son wondering if that guy was in Harry Potter too. It's like, maybe who.
Dylan
The harder son. Don't tell him about the drinking if he. Because there might be a slight chance he has, like, a thought lit, but it hasn't, like, formed to a full thought. Just don't bring it up until he's 18 because you don't want him to process anything. Because we lie to ourselves. We tell each other a story. We tell ourselves a story. And he's too young to tell a story.
Nick Swardson
Oh, yeah. Well, that. I mean, telling him anything. But he. He's noticed, you know, he's brought up because I'm vegan and I don't drink, and there's just kind of like all these differences between Mom's house and Dad's house.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
And mom can drink fine and has friends and they drink and. And he's asked that before, like, why don't you. You know, because they start to learn what alcohol is.
Dylan
That's right.
Nick Swardson
And I said, well, I. I don't. I quit drinking.
Dylan
But he doesn't remember.
Nick Swardson
No, but he. He also doesn't know why I quit or what would be quitting. Unless, like, yeah, I decided I don't want to drink anymore. That' yeah, but he'll figure it out, just like every kid does.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
It's. It's funny to think about the way he figures things out. And I just had to have the talk with him about bodies and sex and everything, which was really fun.
Dylan
I have the fentanyl talk with my kids all the time. And that's why we do this here. You know anybody who's died of fentanyl yes. Can you tell me about it?
Nick Swardson
Yeah, it's, you know, especially in comedy, it's happened a few times to comedians on the road, just hotel rooms, you know, it's scary. I also know people whose kids got into things that could have fentanyl in them and the fear surrounding that, you know, like. But I wasn't in the drug scene enough to fully. Like, I have a friend that he was like a full Percocet, you know, oxycontin, all that stuff. And he has a lot of friends that just keep going and going. That with alcohol, it was like, you know, but that, that is. That is the thing. It's like somebody does coke on the road and then it's over.
Dylan
Do you. Do you know anybody, Anybody's family that was left behind as a result of the fentanyl death in their family?
Nick Swardson
Yes. Yeah.
Dylan
What. What are they like today.
Nick Swardson
So hard? Because, you know, that the person wasn't intending, you know, it wasn't. They weren't intending, it wasn't a suicide. It wasn't like a thing that they. And, you know, unless it was. But generally it's somebody who was just thinking, this is a Saturday night. I don't have my kids, I'm in another city, why don't I do a bump? You know, that's not a crazy thought. In fact, that used to be very common. More common, I think, but I think I don't know how they move on. Actually. I haven't looked deep enough into something to really understand specifically how this new thing could be, you know, drilling holes in people's families like that.
Dylan
I don't think they. Well, I know because I did a public service announcement. There was something called Alexandra's Law, and they wanted to pass it. And all it was was, you get caught dealing fentanyl. Yeah. And you get a ticket. And what it says is, okay, this is your one get out of jail free card. The next time you deal fentanyl, you're going to jail. Okay. And nobody wanted to pass that. And so in order to shame the legislature up in California, I grabbed a bunch of these parents that lost their children to fentanyl. And some of them were in Northern California. I flew them right out. And in one day, we did interviews with all of these people and put together a public service announcement with the samhsa, the government site that has all the rehabs on it. I didn't want anybody to think it was self interested, and so we didn't have a phone number on it. That was the hardest thing I'VE ever had to do. And when we were done with it, these people were so destroyed that I had to do a process group with them for 90 minutes because there's no way I could have let them out of my sight before I did that. And then I was so destroyed that I walked into a glass window and ripped my shoulder because my eyes were full of tears and I couldn't see. Now they just changed the law, and I don't think I had anything to.
Nick Swardson
Do with it, but they changed it to that law.
Dylan
They changed it.
Nick Swardson
They buried a version of that.
Dylan
They buried it in another bell so nobody could see it. Some stud did it.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. And it's probably a really good husband who did that, who knows how to, like, you know, be like, wait, when did you say you were gonna go golfing? Well, when. When we were talking about the funeral plans, I said, oh, by the way, I'm golfing the next weekend. I like the idea of somebody just like, hey, let's just slip this. But amazing that it got through like that, you know? I mean, it's.
Dylan
Anyway, Dylan, I'm so pissed that we don't. Who was that cap that we had on where his eyes popped out of his eye sockets? Chef boy Bones. I would have given anything to have him here with you. You would have done a rant for 20 minutes. That would have been gold. I just screwed up. I screwed the page.
Nick Swardson
Funny. Not funny, dude.
Dylan
His eyes popped out of his sockets, and I had a doctor sitting right there. And after he did it, I looked at the doctor. I go, hey, man, can you fix that?
Nick Swardson
Wait, that's his bit that he does.
Dylan
Yeah. Oh. Huh. Dude, you think I'm strong enough not to have a guy on a podcast whose eyes pop out of his eye sockets?
Nick Swardson
Sorry, No, I don't. This is. I didn't know this coming in. I would have not prepared if I knew you were a weirdo. I wouldn't have come. I mean, I'm interested in people's eyes popping out. I just saw an MRI image of somebody rubbing their eye. It was just like some stupid scroll by thing I saw on TikTok. It was like, here's an MRI. Here's what it looks like when you rub your eyes in in an MRI thing. And it was just like, that's not too bad.
Dylan
Isn't it funny that people have become famous for being stupid? Right? When we were kids, people were famous for, like, acting and, you know, singing and being great at sports. Now there are people who are famous just for being stupid.
Nick Swardson
Yeah, I mean, Andy Warhol, you know, the 15 minutes of fame thing. I mean, such a, an insight into like what he, you know, what he was seeing. It's like, oh yeah, you can get famous for this. And that's before social media. I mean, you have people that like get cancelled in a day for something. I mean, I had a friend that just. The dumbest thing happened to him and he's like. And then it just faded away and he's fine. But you know, it was like a, a post that he made that was just totally light hearted and whatever, but taken a certain way but then, you know, like hawk to a girl or all these things where it's like somebody in a moment is charming, good make something, you know, and then it just propels them into, you know. And I'm sure she's great and I'm sure she's fine. I don't know. But you know, it's. Yeah, it's.
Dylan
How is it for you now in comedy when you can't just let it flow and be you and edgy and. Because I think ignorance done well is hysterical. Right. I mean, when you like an Archie Bunker type thing, but not dated. Yeah, right. And funnier. Okay. Because funny changes, right? If I was a comedian, I would just say it. I don't give a. If you cancel me. My CEO, who is the best CEO in the world, she was concerned about this. She's like, babe, we're going to get canceled. I said, who can cancel us? Yeah, it's.
Nick Swardson
I mean, it's changing. It's.
Dylan
How do you feel about it?
Nick Swardson
I, it's funny. It's like, I just, like we just talked about the things that I want to rant about. I don't want, I want to write comedy about that. The stuff that I really liked was Steve Martin, you know, was Martin Mole. These guys that could look like they're selling you something, but it's actually nothing. And I loved that and I loved the simplicity of something. And you know, I, When David lynch just died, I saw some quote of his or someone talking about ideas and like where he got his ideas from. And he's describing what an idea is and how you get it and nourish it and grow it into a thing for him was a movie or whatever. And I remember that day, I thought, I'm never gonna have a new idea. I'm like, I just earlier that day I thought that and I was actually like, I was displaced. I wasn't displaced on like, I just left town because of the fires. And I was an arrowhead for a couple nights just to kind of get out of the smoke and stuff. And I was at my friend's place and I was like, I need an idea. And I listened to the way that David lynch described this, like, room that the ideas are in that you're not really allowed in, but you can peek in every now and again and you see it, and then you gotta know you saw it. And then I was at the grocery store and I saw this woman, she was getting tortilla chips. She was two people ahead of me in line, and I couldn't see all the rest of her groceries. But I just thought, because the way my brain works, I thought, I bet salsa's coming pretty soon. You know, you see tortilla chips, you think this lady's getting salsa. And salsa never came. And I went back to his place and wrote a five minute bit about this women, this woman and her salsa. And this. What if she fought for that salsa? What if she said, hold on a second, and she ran back to get it? And that to me, I would write, I would rather write about that and this, like me being a hero and helping her find the salsa on the chip aisle, you know, rather than like a rant about politics or whatever. Because I also, a bit like people to. The most ideal reaction to my comedy would be a person in the audience laughing, saying to the person next to him, that was stupid. Yeah, it was. I wanted. And you. And the reason that you're saying it was stupid in that way is because you believed it. You thought that I was going to say something real, you know, and then I just made you laugh, which is what my job is. And hopefully in that time, I'm taking you away from whatever your, you know, door pushing thing, whatever bothers you, I want to take you away from that.
Dylan
That's nice.
Nick Swardson
But worrying about cancer being canceled, I. You, you, you watch and you think, you know, I. People say that they're worried about it and I can. I know friends of mine that I hear them talk and I'm like, man, that you really share your opinions, like, you know, on your podcast or your thing. And people can take that stuff and cut it up and run it any way they want.
Dylan
That's right.
Nick Swardson
And it's so scary. But if you're just being you at this point, you know, you see people that were canceled for things that they said, they have another audience that they've just gone and found people that, that's right. Not only agree with them, but also agree that like, or people that don't agree with them, that think, well, I don't care that they said that, you know.
Dylan
Right.
Nick Swardson
Because I remember when. I remember when I was young and I was. I was in church. I grew up in. In church, and I went to go see Pearl Jam.
Dylan
Yeah. Thank you.
Nick Swardson
And you know, Pearl Jam, like, Eddie Vedder would go on like a rant about left politics or whatever. And I remember my youth group, like, leader was next to me to be like, oh, God, just get to the psalm, you know, And I remember thinking like, yeah, I hate this part, you know, and. But I still loved Pearl Jam. And then the song started and it's like, I don't love Pearl Jam any less that he just went on that rant. And so now I'm like, I don't like, unless it's like something like hatred or something that is really hurtful.
Dylan
Like. But hatred isn't funny.
Nick Swardson
No, no. And it doesn't come off as salvageable or likable or.
Dylan
No, but.
Nick Swardson
But that. That to me was like, you know, like. Like the Verge. The Christians version of canceling somebody just because they share their opinion. You know, like, we were still watching Pearl Jam, and I can still watch whoever and. Yeah.
Dylan
So, buddy, what do you got? What do you. What are you doing next? What do you. What do you want to leave us with?
Nick Swardson
Well, I've got my new standup special that is on YouTube called Born Young, which I was. And the. The. Nate Bargetzi produced it. Put it out. He's a friend of mine. We started together and now one of us is doing stadiums and the other one is, you know, putting out the special. But I thought he'll let you. Oh, no, I do the stadium. Oh, no, I do. For sure. He has me out and. No, he's supportive. He supports his friends, which is such a cool thing that people do. And they.
Dylan
Rare and very cool.
Nick Swardson
Yeah. And he put this. He produced it and put the special out on his channel. And, you know, it's. For me, it's just fun to like, have a thing put out, you know?
Dylan
You know what you guys should do? Because comedians are all kind of friends and you guys all know what you're going through. You guys should all be helping each other on social media. You should all be posting that stuff and collabing with everybody.
Nick Swardson
It is pretty good. There. There is a. A great supportive nature, you know, and just like any business, there's also a. I feel like comedy's change more and more. People are. Comedians are more supportive of each Other. They used to be a rat. Rat. You know, like, I mean, just. But also, they didn't used to be social media, so you didn't used to have to say, like, check out my friend's thing.
Dylan
Right?
Nick Swardson
Your friend would just put out a thing. And the only way your audience would know that you liked it is if you told them live.
Dylan
Right?
Nick Swardson
That, you know, like. Or you're in an article and you get interviewed and you say, what I like is this person. You know, And I. People ask me like, hey, will you post this and post that? And, you know, I always do because it's. What is it? Skin. There's no skin off my back. And I. People that I like that I see post things. I never see them post something and think, I don't like that. Now I'm unfollowing them.
Dylan
Right?
Nick Swardson
I just think, oh, they're supporting that person. That's nice.
Dylan
Right?
Nick Swardson
You know, I mean, it's. It's all so worthless, you know? Like, I. It's all. All of it. I mean, money, all of the things I.
Dylan
Okay, stop talking about money. Go on.
Nick Swardson
No, I don't mind money. I just. When I. It's when the moments you have with your kid where you just all of a sudden realize, God, this is really, like, this is what I want to do the most.
Dylan
That's right.
Nick Swardson
And so if everything else provides the vessel for me to be able to do this.
Dylan
That's right.
Nick Swardson
Then I love it. And I don't need any more. I don't need any less. I hope there's no less. I would love a little more, you know, but in the end, it's. My son is happy. Like, I'm succeeding right now. He's got a roof. We're doing it. We love life. He's on soccer teams. I coach one of them. You know, it's like a fun life that I get to do.
Dylan
He loves you. I was watching your social media. Your son is beautiful, and he's just happy. And you with your kid is amazing. So I get the whole. I realize what's really important when I'm with my kids. Children. Right. That. It goes without saying, but the money thing does.
Nick Swardson
What you.
Dylan
What you talk about?
Nick Swardson
Yeah, I love. Well, no, of course I love money. Who doesn't? It's a great thing to have. And. And it. And it's nice, too. And you can give it to, like, you know, because in the end, it's all going to be his. You know, whatever. Whatever I buy with it and do with it, eventually it is going to be transferred over to this guy.
Dylan
Right? All your.
Nick Swardson
Yeah, he's going to have to deal with dad, these stupid jackets. That is the most motivated I ever get is when I realize I want to leave him something, you know, like I want him to have something and that makes me want to work harder.
Dylan
Yeah. You know, people don't understand. People say I can't afford a child right now. They don't understand that when you have a child, it makes you money, it doesn't cost you anything. It makes you money, it puts a.
Nick Swardson
Drive in you that you don't understand is possible.
Dylan
But it doesn't have anything to do with the parents of the new kids. Right. That your child is becoming friends with. I heard on your podcast, on your podcast, on your Instagram video. It was you went on this rant about. The thing about your kids is the only thing about your about being a father is having to go to school and meet the other parents. Right?
Nick Swardson
Yeah. As they get older, they make friends and you meet those friends, parents and it just never ends. Really.
Dylan
Yeah.
Nick Swardson
It that my friends that have older kids there, it's like they're, they're still there. They still see the people. Also though, with age you get better at just not having to engage people, you know.
Dylan
That's so true.
Nick Swardson
I mean, but I, I, I. One thing that I really love about this, the drop off pickup situation is the like, I do like to watch these people and think, what's their version? Like, do they hate me? You know, it really opens up a, a nice now I guess just you're.
Dylan
A better person than I am. I never had that thought. Does this person like me? I've never had that thought because I've never given a.
Nick Swardson
Well, I don't care if they do. But I'm wondering, I'm curious. Oh, you're very.
Dylan
Yeah, I'm not even curious. I don't even know. Raised to rise to the level of curiosity.
Nick Swardson
And I'm curious. Well, because also my job is so different, you know, like, are they like, oh, here comes a comedian guy. God damn it. Or oh, here comes that comedian guy.
Dylan
Dude, nobody sees a comedian coming and says this is a bad time. Like that doesn't happen.
Nick Swardson
So you don't know the oligar's friends? I don't know.
Dylan
Okay.
Nick Swardson
You know Gallagher? Remember Gallagher with the, with the pumpkins? No, the watermelons.
Dylan
The watermelons, that's right.
Nick Swardson
I found this woman's wallet, I guess, driver's license, her debit cards, cash. And instead of Returning them?
Dylan
You thought you'd keep them like baseball cards?
Nick Swardson
Well, no, I'm. I'm putting it in the mail today. But it's a Canadian driver's license.
Dylan
Oh, well, then she've got to give it back to her because Canadians. Who doesn't like Canadians?
Nick Swardson
Yeah, yeah, but I wrote her a note. I'm going to send it. You know, I just. It's. It's. It's funny to, like, write notes to somebody without saying, love this person, you know?
Dylan
Right. So how long.
Nick Swardson
When did you find that?
Dylan
Last week. Oh, God.
Nick Swardson
She's going to know. You're not allowed.
Dylan
He's not allowed to say this on. On camera. You're not allowed to say it if you've had it for a week?
Nick Swardson
No, but here's the thing, okay?
Dylan
She's freaked out. She already bought all this and she canceled all her credit cards.
Nick Swardson
Great. Well, now, though, this is going to get there and she's going to be like, well, I went and got all new things, and I learned better how to take care of my stuff. And now I also know that my. It's not out in somebody's house. Somebody is going to steal my identity. I've got it.
Dylan
You know, like, okay, that's a seven.
Nick Swardson
She learned a lesson, right?
Dylan
That's a seven.
Nick Swardson
Hey, something. It would have been a ten.
Dylan
They had you, like, ran right to the post office.
Nick Swardson
Oh, yeah, But I mean.
Dylan
And then in FedEx, next day, air would have been a 12.
Nick Swardson
Well, no, it's a. It's. It's got to be by foot, and it's got to get up to Canada. I mean, that could take sending it by months. What happened when you just could steal one item? And that was okay, you know, that was. That was what I did.
Dylan
And they did it in a stealthy way. Walk in in a trench coat. And I put all the eggs and the bread.
Nick Swardson
You know, I walked out of a. When I was like, 16, I wanted to impress this girl I was at the mall with. And we were in like a. A Burton store or some snowboarding store, and I just grabbed a snowboard and we walked out. I was just holding a snowboard.
Dylan
She just.
Nick Swardson
And she was like, what? And I go, you think that they're thinking a guy would just walk out with a snowboard? No one in there is thinking that this snowboard is mine. Why else would I be carrying a snowboard right now? Unless I went to the register.
Dylan
Right?
Nick Swardson
That's right. And I walked out with a snowboard. And now I'm a professional snowboarder. And that's how it happened. And that's my origin story.
Dylan
And that's why we have comedians on the program, people. All right, man. Where can people find you?
Nick Swardson
Well, I'm not going to get my home address, if that's what you're asking.
Dylan
That's exactly what I'm asking.
Nick Swardson
They can find.
Dylan
And your personal phone number.
Nick Swardson
They can find me on Instagram and TikTok. It's just my name. Nick Soon.
Dylan
That's nice.
Nick Swardson
In your Social Security number. Yeah, I think it's two. We'll see you next Tuesday.
Dylan
Too.
Nick Swardson
Good.
Richard Tate
If you or a loved one is struggling, we have a number that you can call and we'll help you find the best treatment that is right for you. Our company, One Call Placement, is dedicated to helping you and we'll find the best treatment that is right for you. So call now at 888-808-6159. Again, that's 888-808-6159. We're out of time. Please subscribe on YouTube. Click the thumbs up and leave a comment. Please subscribe on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave a rating and a review and share the we're out of time podcast with others you know who will get value out of it. See you next Tuesday.
Podcast Summary: "Nick Thune Inspiring Sobriety & Comedy Stand Out"
Published on April 1, 2025
Introduction
In this compelling episode of "We're Out of Time," host Richard Taite delves deep into the intertwined worlds of comedy, addiction, and sobriety with special guest Nick Swardson. The conversation navigates Nick's personal struggles with alcoholism, his journey to sobriety, and the broader implications of the Fentanyl crisis and substance abuse in society. Through candid storytelling and insightful discussions, the episode sheds light on the urgent need for critical changes to address the nation's deadliest drug threat.
Nick's Early Comedy Inspirations and Sobriety Journey
00:00 – 06:31
Nick Swardson begins by sharing his comedic influences, highlighting the likes of Steve Martin and Martin Short, who masterfully blend humor with subtlety. He expresses his admiration for comedians who can make the audience laugh while subtly conveying underlying messages.
At 00:19, Nick opens up about his battle with alcoholism, recounting a pivotal moment when he intended to have a drink before a performance in Las Vegas. His anecdote illustrates the rapid grip of alcoholism:
"I was supposed to be on stage 20 minutes ago. And that's how quickly alcoholism just wrapped me right back up." (00:19)
Nick reveals that he struggled with alcoholism for a decade, a period marked by personal and professional turmoil, including a divorce and strained relationships with his children. His honesty serves as a testament to the pervasive nature of substance abuse disorders.
The Impact of Addiction on Personal Life
06:32 – 12:00
Discussing the repercussions of his addiction, Nick details the "wreckage" it caused, notably his divorce and the subsequent challenges of parenting an 11-year-old. He reflects on the pandemic's role in his recovery, providing him with the solitude necessary to attend meetings and focus on rebuilding his life.
"She had the first time." (02:30)
Nick emphasizes the importance of community support in overcoming addiction, mentioning his positive experiences in sobriety meetings and the profound impact peers had on his recovery journey.
Facing the Reality of Sobriety and Relapse
12:01 – 19:35
Nick recounts a harrowing experience where his sobriety efforts led him to hospitalization after a relapse, highlighting the severe physical and emotional toll of alcoholism. This incident was a turning point, solidifying his commitment to sobriety for his son and himself.
"I need my son was 5, and I just decided I'm not compromising the rest of right now." (11:15)
He discusses the complexities of maintaining sobriety, including the challenges posed by social environments and the ease of slipping back into old habits. Nick also touches upon the broader context of substance abuse, including his limited exposure to cocaine and the influence of drugs like Fentanyl on individuals and families.
The Fentanyl Crisis and Its Devastating Effects
24:04 – 28:35
Nick and host Dylan explore the severity of the Fentanyl crisis, sharing personal anecdotes about friends and acquaintances affected by opioid addiction. They discuss the unpredictable nature of drug abuse, where seemingly casual decisions can lead to irreversible consequences.
Dylan shares his involvement in advocacy, detailing his experience producing a public service announcement with families impacted by Fentanyl-related deaths. This segment underscores the emotional toll and societal urgency to combat the epidemic.
"It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do." (28:25)
Comedy as a Tool for Healing and Awareness
29:33 – 35:18
Transitioning to lighter topics, Nick delves into his comedic philosophy, emphasizing the power of humor to provide relief and escape from life's burdens. He reflects on the changing landscape of comedy in the age of social media and "cancel culture," advocating for authenticity and mutual support among comedians.
Nick shares his admiration for comedians like Steve Martin and Martin Short, who seamlessly blend humor with meaningful commentary. He highlights the therapeutic aspect of comedy, both for himself and his audiences.
"The most ideal reaction to my comedy would be a person in the audience laughing, saying to the person next to him, that was stupid." (35:18)
Personal Reflections and Future Endeavors
35:19 – 41:02
In the closing segments, Nick discusses his new stand-up special, "Born Young," produced by his friend Nate Bargetzi. He underscores the importance of supportive relationships in his recovery and professional life, stressing that authentic connections foster resilience and growth.
Nick also shares heartfelt reflections on fatherhood, emphasizing the joy and motivation his son brings to his life. He touches upon the delicate balance between personal fulfillment and professional responsibilities, advocating for prioritizing meaningful relationships over material gains.
"My son is happy. I'm succeeding right now. He's got a roof. We're doing it. We love life." (39:46)
Closing Remarks
The episode concludes with Richard Taite's poignant reminder of the ongoing Fentanyl crisis and its catastrophic impact on families nationwide. He encourages listeners to seek help if they or loved ones are struggling with substance abuse, emphasizing the podcast's mission to address critical issues related to addiction and mental health.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
Nick Swardson (00:19):
"That's how quickly alcoholism just wrapped me right back up."
Nick Swardson (11:15):
"My son was 5, and I just decided I'm not compromising the rest of right now."
Nick Swardson (35:18):
"The most ideal reaction to my comedy would be a person in the audience laughing, saying to the person next to him, that was stupid."
Dylan (28:25):
"It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
Nick Swardson (39:46):
"My son is happy. I'm succeeding right now. He's got a roof. We're doing it. We love life."
Conclusion
This episode of "We're Out of Time" offers an intimate glimpse into Nick Swardson's battle with addiction and his journey toward sobriety. Through his honest and heartfelt storytelling, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the personal struggles behind the laughter and the urgent need to address the broader addiction crisis engulfing the nation. The conversation serves as both a beacon of hope for those grappling with similar challenges and a call to action for society to implement critical changes to mitigate the devastating effects of substance abuse.