Podcast Summary: We're Out of Time

Host: Richard Taite
Episode: Relapse After 19 Years: Mike Bayer on What Recovery Taught Him
Date: January 27, 2026
Guest: Mike Bayer (“Coach Mike”), addiction recovery expert and author

Episode Overview

This episode features a candid, wide-ranging conversation between Richard Taite and Mike Bayer, delving into the realities of addiction, the challenges of long-term recovery, personal reinvention, and the brutal truths of relapse—even after nearly two decades of sobriety. They share personal histories in the recovery field, debate what true fulfillment and freedom mean, and tackle the sobering urgency of the current fentanyl crisis in America.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Family Dynamics and Seeking Guidance

• Mike discusses the ongoing challenges of navigating a dysfunctional family relationship and how he prepares for an upcoming visit to his mother:
  • "I want to show up as the best version of myself…my head just starts going on in. So having a sponsor that I can be like, 'Tell me how to be…'." (00:00-01:03)
• Emphasizes the importance of having a sponsor and a support system to stay grounded and intentional during difficult interactions.

2. Entering the Recovery Field: Accidents, Purpose & Burnout

• Richard shares how he accidentally started a sober living home and, after being forced to get licensed, found fulfilling purpose in helping others:
  • "If you're one of the best in the world at giving people back their loved ones and you don't do it, you're a dick." (05:53)
• Both discuss the recurring theme of needing purpose to avoid feeling “empty,” even after professional or financial success.
  • "Where’s my purpose? Like, what am I doing? I'm not fulfilled. I'm running on empty." — Mike (06:37)

3. Addiction Landscape: Changes in Treatment and Crisis

• They recount the boom and bust of Malibu treatment centers, the role of insurance and business incentives, the proliferation of “bad actors,” and the competitive nature of the industry.

  • "If you're good at this, because so many people aren't, and there are so many bad actors in our business." — Richard (07:12)

• Richard underscores the current fentanyl emergency:

  • "All I'm doing is creating awareness around the fentanyl issue and letting people know that we're out of time. At the slightest hint now of an issue, kids gotta go to treatment. Otherwise you're burying your kid." (06:27)

4. Personal Journeys: From Rock Bottom to Recovery Work

• Mike describes his descent into addiction while trying to succeed in sports and New York nightlife, leading to an intervention career and, ultimately, sobriety:
  • "If you just drink…usually it takes 20 to 25 years before you really—unless you’re just so severe. So when you do harder drugs…it expedites your bottom." (09:11)
• He shares how his relatability and age made him the "go-to guy" for young interventions:
  • "You could go with them, or you can go with me. I'm a little more relatable. And I'm gonna be half the price." (10:33)

5. Psychology of Relapse After Long-Term Sobriety

• Mike reveals a central theme: relapsing after 19 years, triggered by prescribed Focalin for ADHD.
  • "I relapsed after 19 years. On a medication, writing my second book by a doctor who kept pushing me to take a drug called Focalin…it’s Adderall and Ritalin." (20:05)
• Discusses the isolation, shame, and confusion of relapsing so far into recovery, and how little time truly “erases” memories of addiction.
• Explores how the recovery community’s focus on time can paradoxically alienate those who slip:
  • "People say time doesn't matter and it's one day at a time. And it sounds good in theory, but we celebrate birthdays, we hug at one day at a time…"
• Mike is candid about the difficulty of getting back on track after long-term recovery—“It was tougher than I ever expected.” (23:34)

Notable Quote:

“The hardest truth about me that I've had to face…I relapsed after 19 years.”
— Mike Bayer (20:05)

6. Staying Grounded: Why Sobriety Alone Isn’t Enough

• Richard articulates:
  • “Sobriety isn't its own gift. Thriving is. Living a life that you can be proud of is a gift of sobriety, but being sober is not a gift.” (13:10)
• The message: happiness, purpose, and community are vital, otherwise drugs become attractive again.

Notable Exchange:

Richard: "If your life isn't as good sober as it is on drugs, you're going back to drugs." (25:24)
Mike: "Yeah, for sure." (25:46)

7. Media, Success & Authenticity

• Mike talks about his unexpected media career after Dr. Phil’s mentorship, leading to bestselling books and television opportunities:
  • "Dr. Phil said…you need a New York Times bestseller. I said, okay. He goes, what are you doing today?…Hop on my jet." (15:40-16:18)
• Discusses "selective kindness" in the entertainment industry:
  • "People have selective kindness…They just select where they put their kindness…That was kind of hard for me in the TV world." (32:14-32:55)

8. Humility and Self-View as “Coach Mike”

• On being called "Coach Mike," Mike is ambivalent:
  • "I still cringe a little bit if people utilize that…But at the same time, I have plenty of issues in my life, and I don't think I'm better than people." (30:23-31:44)

9. Meaning, Freedom, and Legacy

• Both discuss definitions of “freedom” and legacy:
  • "Freedom means being in the moment. Freedom is a good night's sleep. Freedom is love." — Mike (33:00)
  • "Freedom is the ability to do whatever you want with your time. That is my definition of freedom." — Richard (33:26)
• On legacy, Mike says:
  • "I'm not a big guy on legacies…once I'm dead, I'm dead…I would rather be known just as being a good person who helped people." (35:07-35:20)

Notable Quotes & Powerful Moments

• On the treatment industry’s real competition:

  "We're not in competition. Anybody who's died—I mean, I know that's a crazy question, but...anybody that, when you think about it, you get choked up?"
  — Richard Taite (27:24)

• On relapse and self-judgment:

  "That was a fucking horrible psychological [experience]…I wanted to give the money back."
  — Mike Bayer (22:36, 24:25)

• On humility:

  "I don't think I'm better than people...What does better even fucking mean?"
  — Mike Bayer (31:44)

• On freedom after homelessness:

  "I've been so poor that I couldn't pay attention. I mean, I've been homeless…Freedom isn’t walking into the market and buying six fake top ramen for a dollar rather than five real top ramen."
  — Richard Taite (33:55)

Important Timestamps

• 00:00-01:03 — Mike discusses family relationships and the importance of a sponsor.
• 05:53 — Richard’s candid take: “If you’re one of the best...and you don’t do it, you’re a dick.”
• 09:15 — Mike shares how harder drugs “expedite your bottom.”
• 13:10-13:12 — "Sobriety isn't its own gift. Thriving is." (Richard)
• 20:05 — Mike reveals his relapse after 19 years.
• 21:59-22:36 — The reality of recovery communities focusing on time and the resulting shame.
• 25:24-25:46 — “If your life isn’t as good sober as it is on drugs, you’re going back to drugs.” (Richard)
• 30:23-31:44 — Mike discusses feelings about “Coach Mike” and humility.
• 33:00-33:26 — What freedom means to both men.
• 35:07-35:20 — Mike on legacy: “I would rather be known as just being a good person who helped people.”

Closing Reflection

This episode offers a raw, unscripted look at the complexity of addiction recovery, the nuanced process of personal reinvention, and the importance of true purpose and service—both to others and to oneself. Mike Bayer’s honesty about relapsing after nearly two decades underscores that recovery is a lifelong, nonlinear process. Both host and guest deliver hard-earned wisdom through humor, humility, and a palpable sense of mission that cuts through industry noise—ultimately insisting that America wakes up to the crisis before, as the title warns, "we're out of time."