← What Are You Made Of?
What Are You Made Of?
Aesthetic is Magnetic: Unlocking Inspiration and Resilience with John Tsilimparis
00:33:03
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- [00:00]
A
And John Cell Paris is here with us today on the what do youo Made Of Show. Welcome all of you, listening, watching, however you're consuming this content. I appreciate you being here on the what do youo Made of show from that one studio. John, what's happening, man? Great to see you again.
- [00:14]
B
Good to see you again, too. Thanks for having me on the show.
- [00:17]
A
Yeah, you know, it's my pleasure. And I really had a great conversation with you, one of my famous 15 minis that I do, and I really loved your energy and, and how you're impacting the world. And I just had to have you on the show. So I want to share you with the audience.
- [00:32]
B
My pleasure. Good to have. Good to be here.
- [00:34]
A
So let's start with the question, what are you made of?
- [00:37]
B
And I think that's a great question. Been watching all of the other videos that you have on that. So in my psychotherapy practice as well as in my books, I am driven by this deep commitment to inspiration and growth. And that's. That's really what I'm made of and what I am. I bring this unflinching passion to every session dedicated to guiding clients to build their best selves. And so since inspiration is the ultimate catalyst, it empowers people, you know, in big ways to, you know, tackle inconceivable challenges, any hardship, develop lasting emotional resilience skills. And Mike, as you know, you know, when people get inspired and people operate from their best selves, they can move mountains. You know, nothing's impossible. Anything can be achieved. So when I see that light in someone's face, when I see them attached to their goals, their aesthetics, their. Their purpose, it lights me up. So that's what I'm about.
- [01:47]
A
Yeah, Great answer. I like this. I'm going to touch on a few things here. First of all, I created a saying just a couple weeks ago. Actually, aesthetic is magnetic. And in a conversation that I had with you, I told you about how I got out of chase mode and started creating an attraction model, right? And I'm like, what does. What causes attraction?
- [02:06]
B
Right.
- [02:07]
A
Well, aesthetic is very high on emotional tone scale. Like, if you can create aesthetic, highest setting. So it's magnetic. And that's why when I was talking about the event, like, you push that door open and you walk into this space at the Quantum expansion event, like, I want to create aesthetic. And that goes also to, if you're a therapist, you have cool glasses on. Now those glasses are aesthetic. And I think that adds to your appeal. It's magnetic. And so I always think about that, like, how can I create higher aesthetic with my personality, keeping myself in shape and energized? The vibe that I bring, the environment that I create, the people that I put in the environment. I love that you said that. That's right up my alley.
- [02:49]
B
Yeah, I wrote it down. I'm gonna use it with your permission. Aesthetic is magnetic. And, you know, sometimes people mistake when we say aesthetic as in just something that's beautiful. Aesthetic is actually not. Aesthetic is anything that you do, even if it's being with people or it's a hobby that you do or even your work. Anything that gives you euphoria, pleasure, joy, gives you a sense of connection, gives you a spiritual, a sense of spirituality and stuff like that. So in my mind, you know, whatever doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness. And I dream with my. With my eyes open, you know, and, you know, it's all about intention. And if I am creating intention around my esthetics, the best thing that's going to happen is that people are going to pick up on that, and it's going to be magnetic, to use your words. So I really like that. Thank you for saying.
- [03:39]
A
Yeah, yeah, that's good stuff, man. And then. And then the other thing I wanted to touch on was the. The mustard seed idea. That's a story from the Bible, actually. If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move a mountain. And that's what it said. And that's a great life lesson, because the fact of the matter is, I think you got to build faith, and it's a muscle. You got to work on it, because it's. It's. It's understanding and having belief in something that you can't necessarily see, touch, feel, have a sense of. But there's also this thing called certainty. Entrepreneurs have uncertainty all the time, and so to cover the lack of certainty, you fill that bucket with faith until the certainty starts to build up. So I had. I was thinking about this. I'm a philosopher, in a way, I guess I was thinking about this. Like, what do you do when your faith is not where you need it to be? How do you build? And what. Or I'm sorry, your certainty. Your certainty. How do you build that? Like, what do you do if you don't have certainty? Well, you just put the faith in there, and it's like a life preserver until the certainty starts to build up. And certainty is important, right, John? Because anybody in a conversation, negotiation, sale, whatever relationship, the one that's most certain always gets Their way, they always win. It's just the way it works. So what are your thoughts on that?
- [04:58]
B
Well, I like that because I think most people are seeking the kind of certainty that is sometimes unachievable because they're always looking at it consistently as, I have to have certainty. I have to have certainty. But sometimes when we don't have uncertainty and we're clinging too much to guarantees, what has to come in is. Has to be your intention and your faith.
- [05:20]
A
Yeah.
- [05:20]
B
Yeah. And so it's kind of like, you know, it's okay to leap first and then the ground will appear later on. It's okay to do that. And sometimes you have to do that. Yeah.
- [05:29]
A
And, you know, I guess it's not certainty on an outcome because I think people get too attached to an outcome that they're trying to go for. Right.
- [05:34]
B
That's right.
- [05:35]
A
And. And when you do that, that might not be the way that's designed for you. Whatever your belief is with God's plan, whatever it is. And one thing, I guess the faith comes into play is faith that everything always works out. For me, that doesn't mean what. What you wanted. Exactly. That end goal, but everything always works out. Because I can tell you this.
- [05:55]
B
Yeah.
- [05:56]
A
Before you go, I had a girl that I dated back in the day. And. And we broke up. She broke up with me, and that's not what I wanted. The end goal was, man, I like this girl. I'd like to make this relationship last, and that was the certainty that I wanted. But if that girl didn't break up with me, I wouldn't have the beautiful wife I've been married to for 22 years now and the two beautiful kids. Right.
- [06:15]
B
Yeah.
- [06:16]
A
Everything always works out for me.
- [06:18]
B
Yeah. Well, that reminds me of the Nelson Mandela quote, which is great for certainty, which is that, you know, I never lose. Either I win or I learn. And so I can. I can be with that uncertainty as much as possible because I'm going to walk away with something. I'm going to walk away with something, and I might even be able to convert some of my pain into purpose.
- [06:40]
A
Yeah. So, man, I love this conversation. So I have another question, and I'm going to get into your story in a second, but I just have some other things that are coming up in my head now, and that is, as a psychotherapist, you go through schooling, you get your credentials and expertise in a certain field, and that's what other people have come up with. But as you go through your experience working with patients and then more Reading and studying and learning. There's gotta be a time from your experience where you're starting to shape things that have worked and understanding that you have, that's not necessarily coming from Freud or whoever else that you might have studied. Right. So how's that work for you? How's that evolved for you? Like coming up with your own ip, so to speak?
- [07:22]
B
Yeah, it's a great question. Every therapist is going to try to find a way to invoke themselves into the. Into the sessions. And yeah, if you try to do therapy like everybody else does therapy, you're going to fail. It's got to be you. People don't come back because of your degrees. They don't come back because of your interventions. They come back because they have a connection with you. So my connection with my clients is much more important than the interventions that I give them, the therapy protocols, the exercises. It's all about me and that person and the connection that we have. And connection is huge. So my focus is always on connection, not competition. That's the most important thing to me.
- [08:03]
A
Yeah.
- [08:04]
B
I'm not in there thinking that I'm going to be evaluated. I'm not in there thinking that there's pressure on me to make this person feel better. I am more focused on the intention to make the connection.
- [08:14]
A
Yeah. And when you're in those situations, sometimes it can be very delicate and you have to be really careful not to invalidate a person and their feelings and emotions. Right. So is that something that you've been taught and. And you go by those guidelines and make sure, like.
- [08:28]
B
Absolutely. The rule is you take your patient or your client exactly where they are and then you're going to support them. I mean, provided you're not supporting something that's either illegal or subversive. But you are always trying to be as compassionate as possible. There's a good chance that a lot of the clients that we're seeing don't get that kind of compassion in their lives, or maybe never did. And so getting that in their session, you know, creates rapport. It builds a kind of therapeutic alliance that they're not used to having. And sometimes that's the healing factor is the relationship, not so much what you say and your interventions.
- [09:04]
A
Yeah. And you're in la, right?
- [09:06]
B
I'm in Los Angeles, you know, so.
- [09:08]
A
Being in la, and I'm. I'm not, you know, requesting a specific disclosure. Okay. But did you have the opportunity to work with some celebrities being in la?
- [09:17]
B
I have with many over the years, yes.
- [09:19]
A
Yeah. And in that Doing that. How do they differ from non celebrities, if at all?
- [09:25]
B
They don't differ that much. They really don't. They all have, you know, the similar kind of problems. You know, I don't know what normal is anymore. To me, normal is a. Is a cycle in a washing machine. And. And the only normal people in the world are people you don't know very well. So they have the same types of problems. Sometimes they have a little more resources than other people do, and it makes it a little bit easier to come to therapy. But for the most part, they have been, you know, very committed and have worked very hard in the office with me, and it's been a joy with most of them.
- [10:00]
A
Yeah. And how about working hard versus working smart when you're a patient?
- [10:06]
B
Well, a lot of people come in, and I would say that they are much more an observer to therapy or more of a visitor than a customer. And, you know, I like the ones that are customers, obviously, because they're there to work and to dig in the dirt and all that stuff, and so that makes it much easier. But sometimes, you know, they have to be visitors for a little while. And to be compassionate and to be fair, I am open to giving them the time and being patient with them.
- [10:33]
A
Yeah, yeah. Patient urgency, I call it. You're doing the work, you're doing the things that you need to do as an expert and professional, but you have to have patience with the process.
- [10:42]
B
That's right. And getting back to your term to help them find that aesthetic, that could be magnetic for them. That might take some time, too, because sometimes people feel a little bit vulnerable, opening up about what gives them passion, what their dreams are. And once they do and they get, again, support for that and they start engaging in that, the world changes for them. Because you can always rely on yourself. Everyone's got dreams, no matter who you are. And if you follow those dreams, you have purpose. And with that purpose, your life takes on a different meaning.
- [11:14]
A
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I talk to a lot of people that do plant medicine, and they. They facilitate plant medicine and different things. First of all, have you gotten into any of that or.
- [11:24]
B
I have not. I don't. I don't prescribe it. I've never done it myself, but I've had many clients who have spoken the world of it, and others say that they didn't have great experiences. So it's kind of still on the fringe of reputability, but it's getting much more popular.
- [11:38]
A
Yeah. So the reason I brought it up is because within when they were talking to me about that they were talking about. It takes you places where you have to really confront some dark things, some hurtful things, some very emotional things. In your work, aside from plant medicine and all those modalities in your work, do you find people that have a hard time confronting the issues that they need to confront? And how do you guide them? How do you guide them into having the courage to do so?
- [12:10]
B
Well, I remind them that if this wasn't hard, I wouldn't have a job. And that's why you're here. You're here to work. And that you're not going to always walk away feeling good. Just because you walk away feeling bad. That's probably means we had a really good session. So my goal is to help them to walk away with a new association about their grief, their pain, whatever they went through, and sort of help them recontextualize, recontextualize all of the thinking and all of the sort of, like, negative, static beliefs that they have around it and try to have a new way of looking at it. Because the pain is always going to be there. What's going to change is your attitude towards the pain. How I relate to the pain is going to change. And I can coexist with it or I can avoid it. But the main thing is, is you want to try to befriend this pain because there will always be pain from, you know, cradle to the grave. It's always going to be something that you're going to confront. Hopefully not as much as you maybe have had in the past, but it's always there. And so that's the only way through the door is through the door.
- [13:18]
A
Yeah. And some of the work I've done for myself there was always, you know, when I did the good work, there was a thing called, like, an end phenomenon, which would happen. And I linked this back to quantum and how energy gets condensed and it gets condensed into almost a solid. And it's very heavy and dark. And then when you do the work, you're breaking this energy up and it starts to free up and you, you become actually lighter. And the phrase cloud nine, walking on cloud nine, everything starts to you. We talked about aesthetic. It's like higher aesthetic. You start to notice different colors in the trees and birds. And you just start to, your, your, your perceptions and senses, like, heighten at this end phenomenon. Have you noticed that with patients?
- [14:01]
B
I have, Yeah. I have. And also, you know, there's a lot of scientific research now these days. A lot of it is Called. What is it called? Well, I'll remember it in a minute. But they do studies where they measure what happens in your brain when you are exposed to your aesthetics, when you are exposed to awe and inspiration. And one of the things it does is that it activates the part of the brain, your executive brain, your prefrontal cortex. And that's the brain that has hope. That's the brain that is able to have faith. That's the hope. The part of the brain that problem solves and starts to see everything in a different light. But not activating that by not going to your aesthetic, it stays dormant. And so it's really important to expose yourself to this kind of odd aesthetic.
- [14:52]
A
Yeah. And, you know, the fact of the matter is, is that you live to the degree that you perceive and use your senses to their highest abilities.
- [15:01]
B
That's right.
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A
Right. Like if you have those suppressed, you not really living.
- [15:06]
B
That's right. And. And Mike, evolutionarily, natural selection is going to seek out other people, other things that give you that inspiration because that might mean that you might persevere more. It might mean that you might pass your genes better because you'll live longer. So it's important for us to look at how, you know, if feeling awe and inspiration wasn't something that gave us pleasure and that wasn't good for us, evolution would have eliminated it a long time ago. In the same way with grief, if grief didn't have any purpose and pain had no purpose, evolution would have eliminated it a long time ago. But it's there for a reason. And so better we work with it, you know, the better we use it and harness it, you know, the better we tame the wild mustang in there, the better we are. Long run.
- [15:57]
A
Yeah. Yeah. Well, what's your story, John? Like, where did you come from in the first place?
- [16:02]
B
So I. I was inspired to become a therapist because I wasn't born with the gift of temperament. And in my 20s, I, you know, was an anxious person and I didn't know where I was going after college, I didn't have much direction. And there was some tragedy that hit my family early, and I kind of dipped into kind of a hole where I was not functional for a couple of years. This is from about 1984 to about 1987. And my immigrant parents were not the parents that would say, hey, you know what, maybe you should go talk to a therapist and, you know, seek out an outsider. To them, it was all about family. Family sticks together. And whatever problems you have, we can work it out. But I did need to go outside and speak to somebody. Anyway, long story short, I did. I was therapized by a fantastic therapist in New York City. And she inspired me to do this work. She taught me how, you know, not to be bad to myself, to be kind to myself, to not look back, to really look for that aesthetic in me. Find the things that. That give me joy and beauty and stuff. And little by little, I followed that path. Took me a little while because I'm a late bloomer, but tragedy was a big spark in that. So pain played a big part in my development as a therapist.
- [17:20]
A
Yeah, well, you know, just dawned on me again, something that I went through is, and I think a lot of us do, when you're talking about being good to yourself. I moved around a lot as a kid, and I would go to new. New friend groups, new people, new kids around. Right. And. And I would hear all these different things. You're this, you're that, you're this, you're that. And then from step parents, you're. You're pathetic. I've heard different things. I didn't even know what pathetic was. But I know this, the tone that it was set in. So I knew it wasn't something good. But my thing I always figured out was, is I. I asked the question, am I? I always questioned it. Am I? And I would always say, no, I don't know where that came from, but thank God I did. Because if you start to believe all these things that people are pounding you with and you get programmed, then you start.
- [18:08]
B
That's right.
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A
Talking to yourself like they're talking to you.
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B
That's right.
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A
And I thank God I created that thing, man. And I don't know.
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B
Yeah, am I. I call those colonizing voices, the voices from your family, the media wherever, negative or positive. But let's say they're negative from childhood. It colonizes in your brain and it takes over and you start believing all this stuff. And you see through that lens that you are negative, incapable, all of those things that you might have heard. And so that creates grief. But again, grief is something that we all avoid. We all do it. The problem with that is that it's one of the most universal themes of being human. You know, it's as universal as laughter. It's as universal as love. So the problem with that is that if we avoid that, then we are going against the grain of the natural order.
- [18:57]
A
Yeah.
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B
And so I like your voice there. You know, am I, Am I really. You know, I don't believe in Luck. I think that there was something industrious about you in that moment that knew that there was something better for you and some kind of, I don't know, call it divine intervention, call it whatever you want, but something in there spoke to you, and thank God that it did.
- [19:19]
A
Yeah, I'm definitely thankful because, you know, I mean, I'm sure that it. Through periods of my life, I mean, I went to. I didn't drink until I got out of high school, and then I went to the party thing, and I was going through this thing where I was trying to prove myself that I wasn't. Am I? I'll show you. Kind of thing, you know, which was destructive for periods of life. But then I figured it out, so. All right, so then you decided to go to school and do your thing, and then where did you start working? Did you go right to California or were you still in New York?
- [19:46]
B
No, I moved to California. I started working. I was still working for Time make magazines as a photo editor for People magazine. So I went to school and worked at the same time. And then I built my practice, got successful at my practice, thank God. And then I started writing books, which is really where my new focus is. Taking all of these experiences, these resonances, everything from my past, everything that I learned from my clients, everything that I taught them and put them together with philosophy and my love of music, my love of history, my love of poetry, and put them together and started writing books where people can find awe and. And find aesthetic in their grief. Maybe you can find some beauty in your suffering, too. So that was my goal, is to convert that. To make a sort of a sea change with how people see grief.
- [20:41]
A
And what did the books start to do for you, personally and professionally?
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B
Well, first of all, you're always. I'm always engaged in something that I love. So I'm in flow, I'm in zone, and it's coming out of me like a fountain. And that feels really, really good because I'm being my best self. I also like to hear that people write to me after having read the books and telling me that they were inspired by this particular chapter or this particular phrase or this particular paragraph. And so me knowing that. That I inspired them with my words, I feel like the tentacles of my inspiration coming from my original therapist and maybe from my parents too, has influence, and that creates purpose and that creates. Creates meaning for me. And. And it just becomes bigger and bigger and bigger and it becomes infectious. Yeah, it's like creating abundance. You find what your gift is. You Share that gift. And then if people love that gift, then, you know, you're. You're creating, I don't know, an Eden, a kind of heaven on earth, in a sense.
- [21:45]
A
Yeah. Yeah, it is amazing. You know, I've done a lot of podcasting. I've read one book, not many, but one. I just haven't gotten back into the mood where I want to write again. But it'll come maybe one day. But through the podcast and guesting a lot of. And sharing, that's similar to writing a book. You're just sharing, getting these, the feedback and hearing from people that have heard from you that you've impacted. There's nothing more fulfilling than that, you.
- [22:09]
B
Know, it's true and like you're doing with creating community. I love to create community, even if it's just a like minded exchange with somebody that I don't know who I'll never meet. But we have these conversations over email and that to me is community, you know, that to me is sharing. And again, the old proverb is shared joy is double joy and shared sorrow is half sorrow. So whenever somebody shares their grief with somebody, you are breaking it in half, just like you said. That mass that gets broken up, that core that gets broken up. So I think that's what talking and sharing in a safe place with your grief does for you. And you grow from it.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And that's the most important thing.
- [22:53]
A
Yeah. And you know, I saw a social media post the other day and was talking about the quantum observer effect. And I don't know if you're familiar with the slit test.
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B
No.
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A
So. So electrons can be many things at once until they're observed by someone. And that what, that observation is shaped by someone's belief system. Right. Their intention. And when they observe it, it becomes something. The particle becomes something, whatever. So when you're reading a book, for example, and this was a reference to reading the word of God, the Bible. But it could be a book, your book, my book. But when you're actually reading something, you're observing something and that becomes those words that were intended to be something you wrote from your experience, but it becomes something which it could be called the third thing. That would never been there had you not written the book and had they not observed from their perception.
- [23:43]
B
That's right. Or perspective. That's right.
- [23:46]
A
And I always find that interesting how that I'm obsessed with quantum. I just love how it's explained. And all the way down this is like the most minuscule thing you can think of and how it's creates the big thing.
- [23:59]
B
Well, again, so my belief is that if you have the intention and you have the passion for something, try not to outsource finding that passion. It isn't about, oh, I need to have this person in my life to have passion, or I need to have this particular job, or I need to have X amount of money. The idea is, is you want to try to follow what that is, but in a way where once you find it, you bring that passion and you bring that intention to whatever it is that you find. You can't help yourself by finding it. You have to find it and then bring it.
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A
Yeah.
- [24:35]
B
So that's really important to me, and that's what I try to do when I help people, you know, find themselves and find their aesthetic. Because the passion is there. Just people are shy or they've been shamed about it, or they don't think that their passion or their dreams are important. And I love to inspire that and tell them, no, it is important. And if one person gets something out of that over the next five years, that's enough.
- [25:02]
A
Yeah. And, you know, how many, what percentage of the patients that you have and you see do you think, have no idea who they want to be? They don't have clarity?
- [25:14]
B
That's a good question. I think that many come in feeling like they missed the boat on what they should have been doing, and so I help them get back into that. Others come in like you, just like you're describing and really never knew what that was. So I love to do that. I love to explore with them and sort of like, you know, discover and think about new things and pick their brain and they can pick my brain and all that stuff. So I would say a bunch come there. A bunch come with that kind of mindset.
- [25:45]
A
Yeah. And the first one you mentioned, they feel like they missed the boat kind of thing. I felt like this thing for a while. I felt like I was. Should be so much further along than I am.
- [25:54]
B
Ah, yeah.
- [25:55]
A
And that's kind of what you're talking about, maybe. And then I'm, you know, 48 years old now, and I'm like, man, I. I just feel like I should be so much further along now. I had a mentor tell me one time that she'd never wanted to hear me say that again. And she said, because I did the opposite of what she did. She had a big exit out of her company, but she sacrificed her family, her relationship with her kids, her marriage. But she had this exit. And she said, you did it differently. You Built this foundation. You have a great family, 20 year marriage, two healthy kids. You get great relations, doing things with your kids. And now you're ready to explode in the business side.
- [26:29]
B
That's right.
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A
And explode. I mean, I've made a lot of money in the mortgage business, but I mean, I just think in my mind what's really possible is like way up here. Right. And so how do you approach those that, that, that say they, they feel like they missed the boat. They come in there in their 40s, 50s maybe?
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B
Well, I say, you know, don't look back because you're not going in that direction anyway.
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A
Right.
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B
And whatever you want, you can start right now and move forward. You can look at your past, learn from it, and you can understand yourself better by looking backwards. But you have to live your life moving forwards. I'll give you an example. Many years ago, I was taking a golf lesson with a guy named Alan. And Alan was a little bit of a philosopher. And what he did was he videotaped about 50 of my swings. Yeah. And out of those 50, I only got. I only hit the ball right about five times.
- [27:23]
A
That's pretty good, actually.
- [27:25]
B
So what he did was he videotaped all of all of those swings, and then he edited down the five good swings and made it into a loop of five good swings. He threw out all of the footage of the 45 bad swings. So each time we would start the lesson, we would look at the five swings, which was less than a minute, and he would tell me everything that I did right with the five good swings. He never told me what I was doing wrong. He always told me what I was doing right.
- [27:54]
A
Wow.
- [27:55]
B
And that's how I learned. And it was so infectious that even as after I would leave the lesson, I would go to work as a therapist or I would be doing anything. And I felt so much better about myself because he planted this seed in my head that it's so much better to just look at what I'm doing right instead of what I'm doing wrong. Focus on moving forward. And it was such a huge life lesson. And it was just a golf lesson, but it was a life lesson.
- [28:21]
A
I knew there was something I liked about you. You. You still golf?
- [28:25]
B
I do, yeah.
- [28:26]
A
So I. I love golf. So, you know, I was. I got up to playing three times a week at one point. I don't do it as much anymore. I do maybe once a week, but I absolutely love the game. Being out on the gray, the green grass, and when you hit that ball, the good the good shots, man, there's nothing like that feeling.
- [28:44]
B
It's a very humbling game because if you're going in there thinking, like, this is going to be easy and I'm going to, you know, get hit every ball perfectly, it's kind of like life. It's like, whoa, I just sliced again, or I curved again. So to me, it's. It's a very, very psychological game. Yeah, it's. It's less about physical, physicality and it's more psychological and centering yourself.
- [29:06]
A
Yeah, it really is, man. And you know, the same philosophy. When I'm done around, when I'm. When I'm on my on point, when I'm done around, I'm not thinking about all the things I did bad. I'm thinking about the good shots, the good scores. And it does make a difference. It really does.
- [29:21]
B
Right? Yeah. He was hell bent on showing me how good I was hitting the good balls, not about how bad I was hitting the bad balls.
- [29:30]
A
Yeah.
- [29:30]
B
It's such a good philosophy. It's kind of like what you want to tell children. Obviously, you have to tell children that doing certain things are wrong and, you know, you have to teach them right from wrong, but you want to always focus on what they did better today as opposed to what they didn't do.
- [29:46]
A
Yeah. The reason.
- [29:46]
B
And that's how kids grow. Kids need a lot of encouragement, and I think human beings do as well.
- [29:52]
A
Yeah, I agree. And, you know, final question. I was up against the clock here, and I want to make sure I touch on one other thing. And it's a lot of times people will look at successful people in business or, you know, psychotherapist and think they got it all together.
- [30:05]
B
Right.
- [30:06]
A
They got it all together. They don't see the thing that the work that's gone into it, the things you're dealing with and all that. What, as a psychotherapist has been the biggest challenge for you as of. As of late, maybe even for you. Like, what challenges were you faced with?
- [30:20]
B
You mean when I started psychotherapy or as I do it now?
- [30:23]
A
No, even now. Now, like, you know, you've been doing this for a while. You're like people who think this psychotherapy has got a lot of experience, a lot of expertise. You've wrote books. It's got it all together. What are the things that you face on a daily basis that you have to constantly work on?
- [30:36]
B
Ah, well, again, so what is normal? Dentists get cavities.
- [30:44]
A
Yeah.
- [30:44]
B
And psychotherapists have problems, too, and stuff. So I think that what I personally deal with these days is the changing of my body, getting older, not having the flexibility that I had, not being able to exercise as much as I used to, and looking ahead to the next stage of my life. And you could be the wisest person. You could have so much experience. You could be very intelligent, you could be book smart. But the existential issues are the ones that we all have to face no matter who we are. And I think those are the ones that I deal with some days better than not. But for the most part, I thankfully have somebody to talk to about that. So I would say existential issues about my future.
- [31:26]
A
Yeah, yeah. I think everybody can face that, you know. Yeah, I'm. I'm 48 and I'm not recovering as well as I used to. I did a hard workout yesterday and getting out of bed this morning was like, oh, yeah. I feel bad for my wife because she's got to hear me grunting and like, oh, man. I don't. I don't know if I'm looking for sympathy or what.
- [31:42]
B
Exactly.
- [31:43]
A
I know what you're talking about, you know.
- [31:45]
B
Yeah. Once you roll an ankle at my age, you're probably not going to be running again for a couple of months.
- [31:50]
A
Yeah.
- [31:51]
B
As opposed to, remember when we were in our teens and twenties, you roll an ankle and the next day you're back on the softball field. The next day you're out with your friends, the next day you're running six miles and you just work through it. But this is a little bit different.
- [32:05]
A
Yeah. Well, you're very fortunate to know me. And I have some really good friends that are in the biohacking longevity space. And there's some very neat things nowadays that doesn't matter your age that can heal you quicker. So we'll have to see what we can do about that. Well, John, I appreciate your time today. Where's the best place for people to go deeper? Find out about your books, et cetera?
- [32:25]
B
Well, they can go to my website, which is johnsonparis.com. i'm also on Instagram, jsilamparis@jsylomparas, and I'm also on TikTok, which is @ John C. So everything's in there. My videos, my.
- [32:41]
A
Books.
- [32:42]
B
Awesome. All the good stuff is.
- [32:43]
A
There. Guys, go check him out. John, thank you so much for your time today. I appreciate hanging out with.
- [32:47]
B
Me. Thank.
- [32:48]
A
You. All right, hang tight while I wrap this up, folks. That's the what do you made of show for today. Your boy C Rock here signing off with John Celiparis sharing what he's made of. Make sure you hit the subscribe Follow button at the top of your favorite podcast platform and keep coming back. Until next time. Be that.