Podcast Summary: "Breaking the Negative Loop: How to Heal Core Wounds and Reclaim Your True Self" What Are You Made Of? with Mike "C-Roc" Ciorrocco featuring Jenn Pinkerton – January 29, 2026
Main Theme Overview
This episode dives deep into personal development, emotional healing, and reclaiming authenticity. Host Mike "C-Roc" Ciorrocco interviews psychotherapist Jenn Pinkerton about overcoming core wounds, breaking negative thought patterns, and finding purpose by returning to one's true self. By sharing their formative experiences and professional insights, Jenn and Mike offer guidance on self-discovery, resilience, and building healthier relationships, both with oneself and others.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
Jenn's Background and Core Wound
- Formation of Identity: Jenn describes herself as a "collection of a lifetime of experiences" that have shaped her unique approach to helping others. Her blend of compassion, curiosity, and connection makes her feel she’s doing what she was "born to do." [00:49]
- Early Loss and Abandonment: The pivotal event in Jenn’s youth was losing her father at age 12, leading to a core theme of abandonment influencing her life story for years. [01:52]
- "That abandonment was really a pivotal moment in my life… it wasn’t till much later that I understood how that theme of abandonment radiated through everything I did." – Jenn Pinkerton [01:52]
- Storytelling as Defense: Jenn explains that she became a "storyteller," adapting to please others and fit in, which masked her true self and was rooted in insecurity from abandonment. Eventually, she embraced being a "truth-teller." [02:54], [07:51]
Breaking Negative Loops and Core Wounds
- Negative Loops and Authenticity: The stories we tell ourselves—often based on early wounds like abandonment or not feeling chosen—dictate how we show up in life. Authenticity, beyond being a buzzword, involves returning to the fullness of who we were meant to be. [03:04]
- Emotional Inventory: Healing requires taking a truthful emotional inventory, identifying patterns, and honestly confronting one’s wounds. [04:12], [10:18]
Impact of Childhood Wounds
- Core Wounds Shape Everything: Beliefs like "I'm not good enough," "I don't belong," "people always leave," or "I'm not worthy" profoundly affect relationships, career, and self-worth. [06:41]
- Childhood Experiences and Overachievement: Both Mike and Jenn note how pivotal moments in childhood (often around ages 10-12) can propel individuals to overachieve or develop adaptive (sometimes maladaptive) behaviors. [03:43]
Relationships, Self-Discovery, and Healing
- Self-Sufficiency and Safety: Jenn discusses becoming her own source of safety and not seeking external validation or completion from others. [05:18]
- Patterns in Relationships: Both host and guest share how their core wounds led to behaviors like avoidance or seeking approval, whether through people-pleasing, being the life of the party, or avoidance in intimate relationships. [05:54], [10:56]
- "I was going to be everything to everybody and nothing to myself. Self-abandonment." – Jenn Pinkerton [11:13]
- Changing from Within: True change happens on the inside, not just with external achievements or recognition. [12:51]
Jenn’s Professional Journey
- From Writer to Therapist: Initially pursuing further education to bolster her writing credentials, Jenn found her true calling in psychotherapy, specializing in marriage and family therapy, relationships, and intimacy work. [13:06]
- PhD and Specialization: Jenn is completing her PhD in clinical sexology, which broadens her ability to address all aspects of relationship healing, including intimacy, infidelity, and emotional connection. [15:24]
Healing Core Wounds in Relationships
- Infidelity as a Catalyst: Infidelity, while often a deal-breaker, can also serve as a catalyst for vulnerable rebuilding in relationships—if both partners have "interest and commitment." [17:51], [18:53], [22:57]
- "You have to recognize if you're going to do this work to heal from this, your old relationship is dead. We are going to build a new one." – Jenn Pinkerton [17:51]
- Self-Responsibility: Healing after betrayal involves both partners examining their own contributions to relational breakdowns, not just blaming the other. [19:14]
- The Impact on Children: The pair discuss how adult relationship choices affect children, emphasizing the importance of not giving your child "a childhood to heal from." [21:04]
Relationship Communication and Growth
- Healthy Conflict: Conflict doesn't mean dysfunction; learning to stay connected during disagreement is critical for growth. [21:49]
- Language of Connection: Jenn stresses the importance of a new "relationship language” for communicating with partners, rooted in vulnerability, compassion, and radical acceptance. [28:18], [29:41]
- "We have to love the one we're with. Let's figure out how to do that." – Jenn Pinkerton [28:18]
- Whole-Self Wellness: Optimal connection is only possible by balancing mental, emotional, and physical wellness—including addressing issues like hormonal imbalance in midlife. [23:44], [24:38]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- "If we're always telling stories in our head, and most of them are not predicated on anything real, they're just our own negative loops, then what are we doing, you know?" – Jenn Pinkerton [02:41]
- "You weren't worthy, you weren't chosen, you weren't picked… and that's my point. We all have a wound. I don't think there's a single person walking this earth that doesn't have one." – Jenn Pinkerton [09:57]
- "Every living thing either grows or dies. So we have to keep growing." – Jenn Pinkerton [11:25]
- "It's not that we have to change our lives drastically on the outside, it's how we change on the inside." – Jenn Pinkerton [12:51]
- "The relationship with yourself is… the fundamental beginning." – Jenn Pinkerton [17:18]
- "You have to recognize if you're going to do this work to heal from this, your old relationship is dead. We are going to build a new one." – Jenn Pinkerton [17:51]
- "We don't want to give our children a childhood to heal from." – Jenn Pinkerton [21:04]
- "If you spend all this time on physical wellness but don't work on the mental wellness, you're missing one of the greatest parts that is going to accent your life." – Jenn Pinkerton [24:38]
- "I'm a connection expert... how to connect with yourself first, how to connect with other people, and how to make this change in your life that will feel so transformative." – Jenn Pinkerton [28:36]
Important Timestamps & Segments
- [01:52 | Jenn’s pivotal childhood loss – The abandonment wound and how it shaped her
- [06:41 | Core wounds in relationships – Impact of beliefs like not being good enough or not belonging
- [11:13 | Self-abandonment and pattern recognition – Jenn describes people-pleasing and losing herself
- [13:06 | Career path toward psychotherapy – Writing, therapy, and merging passions
- [15:24 | Jenn’s PhD in clinical sexology – Rationale and application in healing relationships
- [17:51 | Infidelity and relationship rebuilding – Old vs. new relationships and the need for vulnerability
- [19:14 | Self-reflection after betrayal – Taking responsibility for personal growth even after hurt
- [21:04 | Impact on children – Avoiding generational cycles and the need for conscious parenting
- [22:57 | Ingredients for healing: interest and commitment – Keys to transformation in therapy
- [23:44 | Hormonal health and intimacy – Wellness as a relationship foundation
- [28:36 | Jenn’s unique approach: connection over relationship – Specialization and differentiation in her field
How Jenn Differentiates Herself
- Specialization in Connection: Rather than marketing herself as a general relationship expert, Jenn focuses on helping clients build true connection—with themselves and others.
- Intensive Work: Offers transformative "intensives" and public speaking to promote her unique method.
- Integrated Approach: Merges knowledge of attachment, trauma, intimacy, and whole-self wellness for practical, actionable guidance.
Ways to Go Deeper with Jenn Pinkerton
- Website: JenPinkerton.com (with two N’s)
- Instagram: @jenbpinkerton
- Upcoming Book: Based on her PhD research
Tone: The episode balances raw honesty, humor, and encouraging optimism. Jenn's warmth and lived experience shine through as she encourages listeners to confront their own stories, do the inner work, and reclaim bold, authentic lives.
Recommendation: Highly useful for anyone on a personal growth journey, especially those dealing with past wounds, seeking greater connection, or looking to break destructive patterns in their lives or relationships.
