← What Are You Made Of?
What Are You Made Of?
No One Is Coming to Save You: Dr. Abbie Maroño on Rebuilding Your Identity
00:35:49
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- [00:00]
A
Welcome back to the what do you made of Show. It's your boy C Rock here and I'm with Dr. Abby. We connected on a 15 minute call. I don't know if I saw her somewhere on Social or something, but I just reached out and that's what I do a lot of. And happens to turn out pretty well. I meet some amazing people that way and Dr. Abby was one of them. Welcome to the show, Dr. Abby.
- [00:21]
B
Thank you so much for having me.
- [00:23]
A
It's my pleasure. It's my pleasure to have you. Let's get right into it. We start this show with the same question every time and that is, what are you made of?
- [00:31]
B
I think I'm made of a lot of passion and a lot of determination.
- [00:37]
A
Yeah. Okay, elaborate.
- [00:41]
B
I have a saying, you know, everything I do, I do it with passion. If there's something that I want, I will put everything that I have into it. And I've known what I've wanted for my life for a really long time. I've known the career that I've wanted since I was 17. So I know what it took to get there. A lot of hard work and I wouldn't ever let anything get in my way. You know, I was watching a speech by a pastor and he said, either roll with me or get rolled over. And that's the way that I've always taken it. You know, I'll always be kind and be good, but if there's something that I want, you better get out of my way because I'm gonna get it.
- [01:21]
A
Yeah. Do you think that's just a natural quality or do you think it has been developed or.
- [01:29]
B
So I grew up in a pretty difficult upbringing. I had to fend for myself from pretty young. So I learned very early in life that there is nobody that's going to save me. And even the people that are supposed to hold out their hand and help you, they won't. So I just learned that if I want something, it is entirely up to me to make that thing happen.
- [01:53]
A
Yeah, well, so can you share a little bit about your younger years and where that was?
- [01:58]
B
Yeah, absolutely. So I grew up in the uk. I grew up a very loving but lost child. My very early memories, my dad left very young. He came back. My mum left, she came back. My mom had an affair with the window cleaner, left. The window cleaner left her, so she came back. So there's a lot of back and forth and a lot of arguing. And I ended up doing some pretty serious drugs when I was 15 years old, out on My own homeless, neither of my parents knew. Kicked out of college, so kicked out of high school for Americans. And I had to just figure out my own. I had to get myself clean. I had to get myself back in school. I had to get myself studying and healthy. My whole family abandoned me. My sisters didn't really know what to do with me. You know, there was a lot of mental health struggles as well. Very young, I was very lost. And I remember, instead of asking, are you okay? Is there anything you need? What's happening? My parents just told me to get out. So I remember there was a time where I was away and I had been kicked out my dad's house for throwing a party. Kicked out of my mother's house for throwing a party. They both kicked me out. I was staying with a friend. I was hooked on some pretty serious drugs. And I remember having a look at myself in the mirror, and I had a nosebleed, and I was shaking and throwing up. And I realized, you know, I'm having withdrawals, and I'm 16 years old, and I have no future ahead of me if I keep going down this path. And I realized that, you know, no one's coming to save me. My parents were just done. My sister didn't know what to do. Or even the teachers. They told all the other students I was a problem child and sent an email around to say the children not to allow your kids to associate with. And I was on that list. So I just. I had enough. I'd had enough. And I realized that either I keep going this way and that's the end, or I pick it up and I make a change. So I decided from that day on, I'm not gonna look at myself with that kind of shame anymore, and I'm gonna be someone different. So I begged my teacher to let me back in school. They let me redo the year, but I wasn't allowed to stay an extra year. They wanted me gone. So I did two years at once, double the amount of exams. I begged my dad to let me come home. He let me stay. And I just. I got it together. I figured it out. I did it on my own. I didn't really have anybody that believed in me, except from one psychology teacher. And that was all I needed.
- [04:56]
A
Yeah. You know, and then now look at the path that you took after that.
- [04:59]
B
Yeah. You know, from that age that was. I got myself back into College at 16, and then by the time I was 23, so, you know, not even that many years later, I was a professor. I was doing my PhD by 2021.
- [05:17]
A
Wow. Now, do you think the drugs were just an escape? Is that what.
- [05:22]
B
Yes. Looking back, yeah. I was very lost and very alone. And, you know, I grew up very quickly because, you know, we were paying bills by the time we were 13, 14. Now we were struggling for money. We were going to lose the house, going to lose our stuff. My dad did end up homeless, you know, so I had a lot of responsibility very young and I just, I had a lot of attachment issues. I didn't know where I fit in. And I was such a sweet kid, you know, I was very naive, very loving, and I learned quickly that the world is a harsh place and I just wanted to fit in. And I didn't have a place, so I didn't have anyone to teach me regulation. So my dad was just very angry. His way to deal with things was, you know, shouting and screaming and punching holes in walls and leaving. And then my mum's was very bitter and aggressive. So I didn't have a safe, emotional place. So I just had to figure it out on my own. And I think as a kid, if something's offered to you and you try it and you go, oh, I don't feel so bad. Let me just keep doing this thing. I didn't know how to stop because the second you stop, you feel like yourself again. And feeling like myself just wasn't a safe place.
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A
Yeah. You know, and then you're always chasing that first time, you know, and that's like, it's like a never ending road and you never get there.
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B
Yeah.
- [06:51]
A
And yeah, I've. I've been in that battle, you know, and man, it got, it's so fun at first, but then it gets dark and it always leads to darkness, you know? Yeah. And, you know, the other thing, I talk a lot about identity and, you know, you got to create this identity that you want to live and you have choices of what you know, how to do it the right way, the wrong way. And did you, when you got clean and you started to go on this next journey of your life, did you like, do you remember, like, creating this identity and getting real clear on who you wanted to be?
- [07:27]
B
Yeah. It's so funny you say that because I actually have a tattoo across my ribcage that says, it's who you are? Because people say to me, I can't do this because of this, I can't do this because of this. Or, you know, I have this. So I'm slower than everybody else and we like to make excuses of why we can't do things, and actually we can do whatever we want. If you decide I'm going to be the kind of person that does this, I'm going to be the kind of person that gets up. You can be that person. There's nothing stopping you. It might be a little harder for xyz, but you can do whatever you want. And I remember when I looked in the mirror and I saw myself, and all I thought was, I don't want to be this person. So I decided, I'm not going to be this person. And I made a change. I chose new behaviors, you know, and I didn't know who I was. And I think that was part of the problem at the beginning. I think I was searching for it as if I'm going to find who I am. And you realize there is no finding who you are. There's creating who you are. There's a decision to be had. And then you say, this is the kind of person I'm going to be. And then you figure out what it takes to be that person. And I didn't yet know what it is that I wanted to be. So I started, you know, listening to Ms. Moon. That was the psychology teacher. I started to get into psychology, and I started to realize, oh, this might actually help me understand how I think. And I started watching a lot of TV shows and reading research, and I decided, you know what? I'm going to be a professor. And then I learned what it took to be a professor, and I decided that that's what I'm going to be. I'm going to be somebody that works hard. I'm going to be someone that I can be proud of. I'm going to be someone that my dad can be proud of. So I figured out what it took to get there. I took this end goal, and I made the steps back. And, you know, I've had points in my life where I've. I've fallen off track. And then you figure out, okay, what are the steps that are needed to be taken to get back to that version of myself? And if you're not happy with who you are, and I've had that, you know, I. I changed who I am a lot along the road. I was Miss Independent, and then I was a really warm person. Then I was a cold person. And you just have to keep evolving and keep changing and figuring out, okay, what is the best version of me and what are the steps it takes to get there.
- [09:55]
A
Yeah. You know, and a lot of people don't commit to that identity, get really clear on what they want and go towards it. Because they don't know the how.
- [10:04]
B
Yes.
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A
And that's okay. Like you, you're not going to know the how, but the, the how comes after commitment.
- [10:11]
B
Yep. You know, and that's, that's really why I do what I do. In my first book, Work in Progress, it was a very different book than you would assume via my career, but it was a self help book. How to remedy emotional trauma, how to get to emotional regulation. And I talk about, you know, people want this healing. But how can you remedy an emotion if you don't understand it? How can you get to the point of a healthy relationship if you don't understand how to communicate? How can you get to the point of a successful career if you don't understand what steps it takes to get there, to be organized, to stop procrastinating? So the reason that I do what I do is and why I'm a scientist in the private sector and the more general space is to teach people that why of why do I do the things I do, why do I think the things that I think? And how can I think better thoughts? How can I engage in better behaviors? So you can have that end goal and actually understand what it takes to get yourself to that goal.
- [11:20]
A
Yeah. Yeah. Well, well said. And the other thing I talk a lot about with this is proximity and also environment. So part of, you know, going where you want to go in causing, creating your future is designing your environment and paying attention to who you have proximity to and who has proximity to you, Right?
- [11:39]
B
Yeah, absolutely. Because we don't realize how much our circle normalizes behaviors. So if you're in a circle surrounded by people that their morals are a little bit wavy, you're surrounded by it so much, it becomes familiar. And anything that is familiar feels safe and comfortable. So you're like, oh, that's fine. Oh that's fine. Because everybody else is doing it. And then you move circles and your radar of what is acceptable and what is not will move with that circle because what you're surrounded by changes. And I realized that I was in so many circles of people that were just fake friends that just all pretended to support each other and actually didn't really want the best. And everybody's trying to outdo each other and there's quiet competition. And when I took myself away and said, I'm just going to focus on me and not anybody else and I really don't care about what anybody else is doing, I just want to Build mine. I realized how much I had been trying to perform for other people, how much I was trying to show everybody else that I'm important because of this and that. And I realized I didn't really care about those things and they weren't benefiting the road that I wanted to take. So when I took myself away from that and just focused on me, I realized how much better I was doing. And then doing that, I just slowly started to kind of build myself into healthier circles. And instead of, okay, well, I don't really care about this stuff, so I'm just going to take myself away. And it left more room for the things that I actually did care about. And what I found was I am an old soul and I don't like to go out. I'm not a social person. So I found the circles that I felt more comfortable in were people who were three times my age. And my best friend became Joe Navarro, who is a 74 year old man and his wife. They became like my best friends because I felt I had more in common with them in terms of mindset and mentality. And when I surrounded myself with people that just thought like, I thought I was so much happier.
- [13:53]
A
Yeah. You know, and the other thing is, what's a behavioral scientist like? When you decide to be a behavioral scientist, what can you do with that?
- [14:04]
B
I get that question a lot because people think they're like, oh, are you a psychologist? And I'm like, I'm absolutely not a psychologist. Because psychologists treat people. Scientists create the knowledge that psychologists use to treat people. For me, I'm not so bothered about working with patients. I don't want to treat people so much as I just want to understand them. You know, I used to want to work for the FBI. I had this moment after I met Joe Novara when I was 19. I was like, wow, being an FBI agent looks so cool. I see it on tv. And then I remember I started working on a research paper with Professor Keatley and I had this question in my head of I wonder why people do this thing? And it was about body language and serial killers. And we worked together to create this study. And when this study was finished, we found a finding that didn't exist. Because that's the whole point of research. You create something new. And we published that first paper and I realized, oh, I just created new knowledge. And I was hooked. Ever since then, everything else was, that's great to do, but I want to create knowledge. So practically, as a scientist, that's what you do. You Just you create knowledge, you have questions of things that we don't yet know. And for behavioral scientists, that's the question of why people do what they do. And then you run experiments to find out why they do what they do. And with that you can go into academia. And I did, I went into academia, I was a full time professor. I specialized in forensic psychology and psychology. But I realized that students, they have access to the science and academics, they know the science. And I kind of accidentally started working with the feds, with the FBI a little bit. And I realized that they're so hungry for the science, but it's not so easy for non scientists to access the science. And it's not always communicated in a way that is understandable. So for me, I took that behavior of science and I made my motto of making science accessible and I teach that knowledge. So it's still the same thing. I create the knowledge and then I teach the knowledge, they can use it. So specifically right now I train the Secret Service. A lot of I train Homeland, train FBI in how to elicit information, how to not just do this behavior and get this result, but I teach them, okay, how do people think? So when you do this, why is it working? And if it doesn't work, this is why it doesn't work. So you can do better and you can learn from that. And that's what I do with it. Now there's a lot of things you can do with behavioral science, pretty much any field where you work with people. A behavioral scientist can be a great advisor. If you're in marketing. Okay, well, what do people buy and why do they buy it? You can have a behavioral scientist advising the marketing team. So really anything when it comes to how to make a person do something, a behavioral scientist is a great person to have on a team.
- [17:22]
A
Yeah. You know, and also predicting people's behavior. Right. Like you're, you know, one thing I think about a lot is I think about where somebody is emotionally, chronically, not acute. Everybody can have a time where they're sad or angry or whatever, antagonistic, what have you. But where somebody is chronically and when somebody is somebody where chronically, they're either an emotion chronically that is destructive or constructive.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And you don't want to have the destructive people around you in your environment. You want to have the constructive people where they are chronically, emotionally constructively, you know, people around you. And that's changed my life when I figured that out like that. You know, I, I pay attention to those around me and where Are they? You know, and I. And I kind of. I kind of plot them on it on an emotional, you know, like, chart, so to speak. And then I determined that's the person I would keep around and that's the person that I wouldn't. And I don't get emotional about it. I don't, you know, it's simply science in a way, you know. And so. Yeah. What are your thoughts on that?
- [18:26]
B
Yeah, I agree. I mean, for me, it's a little harder because I'm generally curious. So I sometimes have a bad habit of keeping people around that I shouldn't just because I'm interested in watching what they do. And sometimes I do have a little habit of kind of poking people where I shouldn't, just see how they react as it's like, oh, okay, that's interesting. So that's a bad habit that I have. But that's. Like I said, I'm a scientist by nature. So, you know. But I think that it's a great thing when you are observant, when you read people and you can kind of see not what they present, not the perception of them, but that layer underneath of what are their real intentions. If you can see that, or at least have a gut feeling of that doesn't feel quite right. You know, that person that everybody loves and you just have that feeling of. I don't think that's quite who they are. If you're someone that can read that and take note of that, it is an amazing life skill because we do not realize how much those people hold us back. They're like tiny little bits of poison that we ingest every single day and we don't realize. It's just like if you are in a relationship that you feel is a loving relationship, but they're purposefully not supporting you in little ways and bringing you down in little tiny ways each day, it just. It pulls you back so much so you don't reach your full potential. And if you can spot that and go, you know what? That person needs love. That person deserves care. But they're not going to get it from me. They're not going to get anything mean, negative from me. They're just not going to get anything from me. And this is the same reason that I don't really believe in revenge. I have a lot of people that say, you know, if someone does me dirty, I'm going to do them dirty back. Or, you know, give people what they give you. And I just don't believe in that because why would you keep something Negative in just despite someone else, when all that's going to do is bring you down. I think the best revenge is that you just be a good find, helpful, good person with good intentions, and they don't get access to you, and that's the best way to move forward. You. You notice that in other people. Okay. They just don't get access to you. No love lost. You wish them the best, just not in your circle.
- [20:55]
A
Well, not only that, you shouldn't change your standards for somebody else. The way they're acting and their behavior.
- [21:01]
B
Yep. One of the rules that I live by is never let anybody get you out of character. And one of the things that I have found the hardest is if you're in an argument with someone and they're trying to tear you down and they're getting you where it hurts, and they're throwing it at you and at you and at you. You know, I've had this in previous relationships. And to stand true to yourself and you say, I'm not someone that tears somebody else down. And, you know, all the little things that could really hurt. It's such a test of character to not throw it back at them.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And as soon as I remember I was arguing with someone once and. And I hit them where it hurts, and I realized that moment, that's not me. They took me out of my character. So I removed myself entirely. You have lost access to me, because if you can get me to that point where you pull me out of my character, I need to remove you from my life. You know, And I've done that. I removed my mom from my life. We have no access. And I think that you decide who you are. You decide what that means. And that's usually hard. You know, I decided that I want to be someone with integrity. And that means in my career, when there's the opportunity to make money on something that's kind of bending the science. As much as I want that money, I can't take it because it doesn't align with who I am. And you make that choice, and you don't allow anybody to pull you out of that. And if you feel like your circle is kind of tipping you towards, like, edging that edge of your character, you have to remove them from your circle.
- [22:30]
A
Yeah, 100%. Because I always say nobody's stealing my dreams and nobody's going to have the access and right to take me off course and slow my momentum. Momentum down or change direction now is question for you. Are you better off if you realize how somebody is and what they're trying to do, their motives, intentions, are you better out, better off calling them out and saying, hey, hey, you know, this is what I'm noticing about you and that, you know, this is what it, the effect it has or what have you, or not saying anything at all, because then they can mask that. And going forward, no one around you, they better not act like that, they better hide it. So you better not saying anything or
- [23:08]
B
confronting that is such a great question. I don't think I've been asked that. I have another rule in it. I won't talk if I can't be heard. If I think somebody needs that advice, I will give it to them. But if I can see that this person never takes accountability, that they live in delusion, that they're just constantly in denial, I'm not going to waste my breath. Also, my advice is very expensive, so I'm not going to give it out for free. If I care about you and I see something and I feel can help, absolutely, I'll give that to you. But if I don't feel that you can hear me or you want to hear me, I'm not going to waste that advice on you. Because why would I try and convince someone of something that they don't want to hear anyway? And sometimes we need to hear the things we don't want to hear. But it's that accountability gap. If there's someone that takes accountability and you really think, okay, they can hear me, they might not want to hear it, but they will hear me, then, yes, I'll give them that. If they can't hear me.
- [24:12]
A
No, no. But what if they're willing to hear you, but they, it gives them the opportunity to mask their true intentions and motives when they're around you.
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B
What I mean by hear me is they take it in and will do something with it. Like they, they genuinely digest it and they genuinely understand it. If I think someone will take accountability and actually digest that and do something about it, then yes, if I see their pattern where they listen and they use that.
- [24:44]
A
No, but where's the default? Is the default that until they show you that they're willing to listen, you just default that they're not the type of person I'm going to share this with because they could put a mask on. Is that the default position before they earn?
- [24:57]
B
So I actually have the other default. I try and give people the benefit of the doubt, not blindly. I still have one eye open. So I will give them almost like a test of trust with one eye open. To see how they react with that. And if they do okay, then I'll give a little bit more. I try not to default straight to skepticism because I think a lot of people are. They're playing out a lot of hurt. I think hurt people hurt people. And sometimes if you just give people a little extra kindness, sometimes they crack and you can see that they really need it. Because honestly, a lot of people are perceived wrong, they're perceived very cold and they're just self protective. You know, life is hard and all of us have gone through a lot. You know, I've never met a person that hasn't had some kind of struggle. And not everybody has been taught how to regulate that. So I don't go in with that skepticism straight away. And I try and give people the benefit of the doubt, of everybody is dealing with something. So I will extend that kindness. And then the second it's taken for granted, I must pull it right back.
- [26:11]
A
Gotcha. Makes sense. Yeah. Because you know what we've been in, you and I have been in situations, all of us, where we would hope that someone would share something, a blind spot of ours.
- [26:20]
B
Yes. And I have to say too, that I was a very troubled kid and I struggled a lot and I behaved in very bad ways, ways that I would never behave in now. And I would not have got myself together if a few people didn't see something in me that could be better, you know, Joan Navarro, David Keatley. Ms. Moon, they saw something in me that I didn't see at that time. And if they hadn't given me the benefit of the doubt and gone, no, I can see that you can be better, I wouldn't be where I am. So I try and give that same extension to other people of not going in, just showing that surface, extending that little bit of kindness and giving them the benefit of the doubt. But I was always taught, be kind, give help, but you are nobody's punching bag. If you throw that back on me, I'll take it away.
- [27:21]
A
Yeah, yeah, good stuff, man. What was the, what was the new knowledge that you created in that research paper?
- [27:27]
B
Oh, gosh, it was when I was 19. It was about body language and the sequence that occurs when people lie. And there was a lot of mistakes I made in that paper early on, but I learned that instead of looking at individual cues or cues piled up in clusters, if we look at the sequence itself, we get a much better indication of is that an accurate coup of behavior. So the new knowledge was really a way of assessing non verbals Rather than a specific behavior.
- [28:02]
A
Okay, yeah. So there was a guy that. He was a friend of mine, he a billionaire, told him one time, he's like, look, we have to take responsibility for the interactions we have with people in relationships, you know, because all human beings are flawed, he said. So he talked about this thing called clues, patterns, choices. Somebody gives you some clues, but you don't have anything until you see a pattern. And then once you have that pattern, you have a decision. You have your choice of whether you want that person to be around you, be involved with things or not. And that's kind of what you're talking about, like looking at those into a pattern, those bits of information, that bits of those bits of data, right?
- [28:37]
B
Yep. And I think, you know, we talk about, okay, surround yourself with these kinds of people that will push you forward, and we can take that same mentality, cues, patterns, choices to ourself. Are you the kind of person that shows patterns that these successful people that you want in your circle are. Would they choose you to be in theirs? What do your patterns say? And if right now your patterns don't say, yeah, I'm the kind of person that could benefit these people, then you need to do work. And that was one of my biggest lessons of one, just because I've changed doesn't mean that other people have to try and rebuild that bridge that I've burned. If they don't want this new version of me because of the old version of me, that's their choice. And I realized if I want these kinds of people in my circle, I want. I have to be the kind of person they want in theirs. And that was a hard lesson to learn.
- [29:32]
A
Yeah, man, this is good stuff. All right. I want to. We're up against the clock, but I want to touch on two more things here. So, number one, you work with the Secret Service when. When the Butler incident happened, the assassination attempt. Did you, like, watch that and then also, like, come up with some things from that at all? Thoughts on that or.
- [29:51]
B
So I work with them as a third party. I created a framework for how people make decisions and how they influen. And they actually came. They heard about my framework, the Upper Hand, which is the name of my book, and they requested me to come and train it. So I don't get involved in anything political. I just train influence, persuasion, nonverbals. Also, as a non American, I try not to come into somebody else's home and tell them how to decorate it differently. So I try and kind of keep to my. My specialty which is just non verbals influence and persuasion and trust building within interviewing.
- [30:35]
A
Okay. And so how about, how about keep the politics aside for a second? Okay. All right. But, but looking at Donald Trump's non verbals, do you ever observe that?
- [30:46]
B
And I have a very controversial opinion.
- [30:48]
A
Let's hear it. Let's hear it.
- [30:50]
B
With the, the shooting.
- [30:52]
A
Well, no, just that. Yes. And then also just overall, recently, let's talk about. Because we'll stay trendy when you see him on TV or what have you. Again, politics aside, because I don't care about that.
- [31:05]
B
I think that Donald Trump lacks a lot of precision. I think previously in his interviews there was a lot of displays of power. Now there doesn't seem to be as much masking, like purposeful power. It seems like he's just kind of accepted that he is in this role and he is undefeatable and is more himself. His behaviors seem a lot more authentic than they did. So I think he's kind of settled into his role of I can't be taken down. And that's like I said, I try not to get too political. I think his behaviors are very authentic and not very controlled. If you look at previous presidents, like for example, Obama, every behavior was precision. It was managed. It was what you would expect of someone presidential, and it was very sleek. Trump doesn't show that they do feel more authentic. They don't feel as precise and controlled and presidential, but they do feel authentic.
- [32:21]
A
Yeah, that's the controversial part or.
- [32:23]
B
No, no, I keep the controversial part to myself because I want a green card.
- [32:27]
A
Oh, okay. Yeah, I gotcha. Darn, man. I thought I would get it out. I don't want to, I don't want to like, ruin that though. For sure. No, but I have to agree. 100. Like the.
- [32:36]
B
It's.
- [32:36]
A
Yeah. I mean, is, is it better to be authentic or is it better to be precise?
- [32:43]
B
I think it depends. I think it depends. A lot of people will go, authentic, authentic. And then a lot of people will go, no, you know, screw who you are. What is it that you want? I kind of sit in the middle. I think whatever your end goal is, then that is what you should aim for. And some people, they want to be completely comfortable in themselves. They'll get on stage and they're swearing and they're kind of talking like you're their friend and it works for them. And then some people have a very, very controlled, high strung image. Very, you know, like, look at Obama. And that doesn't mean he's super high strung, but his Image is very controlled and very. Almost like pristine and perfectly presidential. Neither is wrong. I have a lot of people who are friends who are also speakers that get on stage and they're laughing. The whole crowd is laughing. And like I said, they're swearing. And it's just very comfortable in themselves. And I. I used to be very like, I need to look like a professor, so everything has to be controlled. And that didn't work for me because people couldn't relate. I also am not comfortable acting completely like everybody is my friend. I am a little bit more high strung, naturally. So for me, I don't want my image that I would bring at home to be the image that I bring on stage because I need to show authority. I need to show quick credibility. So I sit in the middle, so I'll give you a little bit more personality. I won't be super, super structured as I used to be. Like I said, for me, my goal is to show credibility. So, yes, I do manage my perception. Absolutely. And I do watch what I say a little carefully. But I'm still going to give you a little bit more warmth and a little bit more friendliness instead of completely strung. So it really just depends on, again, who is it you want to be. And for me, that's the image that I decided I'll create because I don't come on stage as Abby. I come on stage as Dr. Abby. You know, at home, I'm Abby. So I need to maintain that. For me, that's my branding. That's who I am, and that's the choice that I've made of. This is my professional presence. Like I said, for some people, they're like, no, no, I want to be completely authentic. It is up to you. What is that image you want to present? And then whatever works for you.
- [35:08]
A
And I'll tell you what, this is one of my favorite conversations. Dr. Abby, thank you so much for your time today. Where can people go deeper with you?
- [35:14]
B
Well, thank you so much for having me. This has been such a great conversation. I love your questions.
- [35:19]
A
Thank you.
- [35:21]
B
Everything that I do, all my work, all my media, all my research papers, all my blogs can be found on Abby morono.com and I'm pretty active on Instagram, which is just Dr. Abbyofficial.
- [35:35]
A
Awesome. All right, folks, go check her out. That's Abby. Oh, I'm sorry. Dr. Abby Morono. Listen, guys, also make sure that you hit the subscribe follow button at the top of your favorite podcast platform. Keep coming back. And until next time, be that one.