Podcast Summary

Episode Overview

In this deeply emotional episode of "What Are You Made Of?" host Mike "C-Roc" Ciorrocco sits down with Mason Sawyer. The conversation explores the aftermath of unimaginable loss, Mason's ongoing journey through grief, and the founding of his "1090" podcast and organization. Together, they discuss loss, healing, masculinity, resilience, and the search for meaning both during and after traumatic events. The episode is a profound reflection on how humans struggle, adapt, and seek connection when faced with the worst.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Are You Made Of? (00:12–02:08)

• Mason’s Self-Reflection: Mason admits he's still finding the answer: "Sometimes I feel very brave and courageous... and then other times I feel awful. And I hate myself and I want to die" (00:46, Mason). He emphasizes the complexity of his emotions and his effort to accept all parts of himself.

• Honesty as Strength: C-Roc commends Mason for his honest and rare answer: “That’s a good one, man. That's where I wanted to come from. I just wanted to flow...” (01:29, C Rock).

2. The 1090 Concept: Grief and Response (02:08–04:17)

• Origin of 1090: Mason shares the tragedy that changed his life in 2021: “I lost my wife Courtney, my son Riggins, my daughter Frankie, my brother Race and my nephew Ryder in a car crash... My son Blue, our middle child, survived” (02:14, Mason).

• Meaning Behind “1090”: He explains the name derives from a quote: “Life’s 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it” (03:41, Mason). He launched the podcast for connection and to process trauma—with gratitude to his father for inspiring the title.

3. The Brutality and Scale of Grief (04:17–07:57)

• Different Levels, Different Pains: Both men reflect on the different levels of trauma and pain. "There's levels to this stuff... you talk to somebody that's lost their family in an accident and you're like, dude... when you're going through something, it could always be worse" (05:17, C Rock).

• Mason’s Perspective: Mason notes his story isn’t unique, despite the scale: “There is horrible things happening to people like me all the time” (06:53, Mason).

• Grief Comparison: “Comparison is the thief of grief. Like it doesn’t do us any good to compare it… Grief is just different, man. It’s just not better or worse. It’s just different.” (07:36, Mason)

4. Talking to Children about Loss (08:03–09:20)

• Directness with His Son: Mason decided on blunt honesty: “They’re dead. They’re not coming back. I wasn’t using confusing language...” (08:37, Mason).

• Role Modeling Grief: He lets his son see him cry and involve him in speaking events: “He needs to see you cry” (09:04, Mason).

5. Suppressing Grief, Masculinity, and Numbing (09:33–12:24)

• Numbing Techniques: Mason discusses the many ways men numb or avoid emotional pain—work, video games, over/undereating, etc.: “We numb and run in all sorts of ways... There's just so many ways that we choose not to think about it, not to feel it...” (11:25, Mason).

• Why Suppression Fails: "Trying to run from it, it’s just gonna creep into your life in other ways" (11:34, Mason).

6. The Shame of Living After Loss (12:24–13:45)

• The “Balancing Act” of Moving Forward: Mason opens up about the struggle to enjoy life without feeling immense guilt: “How can you be happy? Like, your family died? How dare you laugh at a joke? How dare you go to a movie?” (13:25, Mason).

7. Time, Progress, and Public Grief (15:25–17:53)

• Does It Get Easier? “Year one was probably the easiest because you're just in so much shock… reality setting in, like, this is actually the rest of my life and they're gone” (15:46, Mason).

• Role of Talking: Sharing repeatedly has helped Mason build strength: “It’s easier to carry the weight... sometimes instead of just crying all the time” (16:54, Mason).

• Public Perception vs. Internal Reality: Mason notes the irony that his outward role as podcast host can fool people into thinking he’s healed: “I think being a podcast host and having followers has tricked people into thinking I'm doing good... I'm looking for answers here” (17:13, Mason).

8. Relationships—Distance and Frustration (17:53–20:48)

• Isolation Choices: Mason self-isolates, rarely socializing outside podcasts: “90% of my conversations are in a podcast setting... I do so much self-isolation... hard to put too much blame on anyone else” (18:16–18:44, Mason).

• Cultural and Religious Tensions: Family differences (especially religious) sometimes exacerbate pain: “We don't believe in death. Like, they believe a guy came and conquered death... So I'm crying about my dead family, and the culture is like, they're not dead. They're just in a different room” (20:00, Mason).

9. Is There Hope? Faith, Nihilism, and Purpose (21:44–25:05)

• What Keeps Mason Going: His son Blue is his primary motivation: "Number one answer, what keeps me going is Blue for sure. Showing up for him" (21:44, Mason).

• Questions Without Answers: Mason shares daily existential struggles: “Is living worth the cost?... I have faith and hope that I’ll see them again and this will all make sense. I think everyone has that feeling. But when they died... it felt and it feels just really awful” (21:44–22:26, Mason).

• On Faith and Nihilism: “I think I'm more of a nihilistic. So, yeah, I don't think anything means anything... And that's actually what makes being good good, is for no reward... That’s integrity.” (23:43–24:18, Mason).

• Openness to Change: The journey continues: “You interview me 10 years from now, I might be the Southern Baptist or something. The grief journey is a crazy ride” (25:40–25:45, Mason).

10. Lessons from Podcasting and Helping Others (26:19–29:55)

• The Power of Listening: “As a podcast host, especially with grief... it's about listening... When people are heard, man, beautiful things happen. There's connection... It gives them so much energy and strength to carry the weight. It changes everything” (26:49–28:14, Mason).

• Consistency and Endurance: Mason recommends showing up each week, regardless of feedback, and outsourcing technical details to avoid self-consciousness.

• Milestone: "We're at 170 episodes... most people don't get past 10." (29:40–29:54)

11. Reflection and Impact (30:06–32:07)

• C-Roc’s Realization: The conversation pushes C-Roc to reflect on gratitude and meaning, contrasting business worries with deeper life challenges.

• Mason’s Mission: Mason expresses hope that by sharing and being vulnerable he can help other men open up and face their own grief.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On his own grief:
  “Sometimes I feel very brave and courageous and feel like I’m making a difference. And then other times I feel awful. And I hate myself and I want to die.” — Mason Sawyer (00:46)

• After the crash:
  “He [Blue] was the lone survivor of that car crash. It was caused by a sandstorm… Eight people died. So it was a terrible day for a lot of people.” — Mason Sawyer (02:40)

• On comparison:
  “Comparison is the thief of grief. Like it doesn’t do us any good to compare it… Grief is just different, man.” — Mason Sawyer (07:36)

• Being honest with his son:
  “They’re dead. They’re not coming back. I wasn’t using confusing language...” — Mason Sawyer (08:37)

• On moving forward:
  “How can you be happy? Like, your family died? How dare you laugh at a joke?” — Mason Sawyer (13:25)

• Why listening matters:
  “When people are heard, man, beautiful things happen. There’s connection... It gives them so much energy and strength to carry the weight...” — Mason Sawyer (28:10–28:14)

• On goodness and meaning:
  “Being good doesn’t matter. You don’t get any blessings... Will you still choose to do good? And that’s integrity.” — Mason Sawyer (23:55–24:18)

Important Timestamps

• 00:12: Mason reflects on “what are you made of?”
• 02:08: Mason recounts the loss that led to the 1090 podcast.
• 03:41: “Life’s 10% what happens, 90% how you respond” — The 1090 concept.
• 05:54: Discussion of “levels to grief.”
• 07:36: “Comparison is the thief of grief” — Dangers of comparing pain.
• 08:37: How Mason communicated death to his young son.
• 09:53: Suppression, numbing, and the male experience of grief.
• 13:25: The guilt of feeling happy after loss.
• 15:46: “Year one was probably the easiest… then reality setting in.”
• 16:54: Talking and sharing helps carry the weight.
• 17:13: Outward appearances vs. internal struggle.
• 21:44: What keeps Mason going—love for his son Blue.
• 23:43: Mason’s honesty about faith and nihilism.
• 26:49: Lessons learned from podcasting: listen, don’t try to fix.
• 29:40: Milestone—reaching 170 episodes.
• 31:46: Mason’s hope that sharing will help others.

Conclusion

This episode is a raw, vulnerable journey through the realities of profound grief and the struggle to find purpose amidst pain. Mason Sawyer’s honesty about loss, resilience, and the quest for meaning offers deep lessons for anyone confronting trauma or supporting someone in grief. His story reminds listeners of the power of listening, the complexity of healing, and the importance of connection, especially among men.

Listen for:

• Real-life strategies for honest grief communication (08:37)
• Reflections on comparison and suppression of grief (07:36, 09:53)
• Insights on meaning, faith, nihilism, and coping (23:43)

Find Mason Sawyer’s 1090 podcast on all major platforms and connect via social media.