← What Are You Made Of?
What Are You Made Of?
The Champion’s Mindset: How Relationships, Resilience, and Belief Shape Who We Become with Chuck Barnard
00:34:38
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- [00:01]
A
Welcome back to what are you made of Show. It's your boy, C Rock here in the that one studio. And I'm with my friend Chuck Barnard. He's a guest today. He's going to share what he's made of. Chuck, welcome to the show, man.
- [00:11]
B
Thank you. It's an honor to be here and, and be a part of. Part of all this.
- [00:16]
A
Yeah, man. It's my pleasure to have you, Chuck. And let's get right into it, man. We start the show with the same question every day, and that is, what are you made of?
- [00:24]
B
Yeah. You know, I have found out over the last few years that there's. There's a lot more than I in me than I didn't always think I had. And. But the foundation of it is really about relationship building and people going back to my years working in school systems and working with kids who really struggled emotionally, behaviorally and all, it was that ability to connect and build relationships and, um, some of the things I used to teach them and train them on, resiliency and all that I began to learn later on that I really had that in me as well.
- [01:06]
A
Yeah. So, yeah, you know, it's funny when we watch others, how much we can learn just by observing.
- [01:14]
B
Yeah, absolutely. You know, and. And that's. Actually, there've been a lot of lessons related to that that I've. From athletics, you know, about how much you can learn just by watching other people. But with, again, over the years with the students I mentored, really coached and mentored, it was much more of that than a teacher relationship. It was really about modeling and getting them to associate with and find other people in their life that they can begin to watch. And a simple lesson I used to tell kids all the time because they often struggled academically too, was, was. Listen, when you go in the classroom, like before you take a test and stuff, see who, you know, who the good students are, go sit near them, sit like them, watch them, see how they do things. And you'll be amazed at how much that will rub off on you. And inevitably they'd come back and go, wow, Barnard, you were right. Yeah, yeah, I know, man.
- [02:17]
A
Yeah. So I guess first of all, let's just know, what are you doing now? What are you focused on now that has you excited? And then we'll get into the story.
- [02:25]
B
Yeah, I am finishing up, putting up, finishing touches on really, it's been a dream for a long time. And that is this whole idea of being a mentor, mentoring more people. Like I said just a minute ago, all the years I worked in school systems, I always viewed myself by the nature of what I was working with, the programs and students I was working with, and being much more than a teacher, it really was more of a coach mentorship kind of thing. So I'm now bringing that to a broader audience and we're really getting ready to roll that whole mentorship program out. And I'm really excited. And when I say we, my youngest son's working with me on all this and we are really close to begin accepting applications and getting that really rocking and rolling. So it's really exciting because it really is a culmination of a dream that started way back about 30 years ago when I went through Tony Robbins NLP training and I even, you know, wrote, kind of wrote it down in the framework. Thirty years ago, I rediscovered those goals and here I am bringing it back full circle. So it's, it's kind of got my juices flowing for 2026.
- [03:43]
A
Awesome. And so, so what's the ideal customer or client that you're looking for? Like, who does, who is that person?
- [03:52]
B
That's a great question. And you know, most of the ones over the years working in schools, you know, as parents and as professionals, we get a lot on our plate and life can kind of get in our way as well. And the people who've had the most success as parents who are kind of looking to help their teenager are ones who can begin to recognize their own need for some of that growth that they see in their teenager and are willing, ready and able to kind of walk right alongside their teenager in this journey. So there's that sort of recognition of it. And they are, tend to be those who have big dreams they want to achieve. They either already are high achieving, but in that movement, you know, as they going through their own goal, trying to achieve their own goals and all, they aren't immune to the stress and anxiety and all the things that could come from that. Although us who are entrepreneurs understand that very well. So they, they are experiencing that, they understand that. And they have teenagers, many of them actually are very much involved in athletics and want to compete at that next level. Those things all seem to go together. So the, the entreprene entrepreneurial spirit is within the adults. And the teenagers are, tend to have those goals, those dreams of, you know, going to college, potentially competing athletically or extracurricularly in some other activity in college. And they also have a, tend to have a faith background. So whether it's a really strong religious background, but they tend to have that spiritual connectedness and understand.
- [05:50]
A
Gotcha. So teenagers and adults that are entrepreneurs, but teenagers that are athletics or entrepreneurial mindset. So it's a, it's not just one age bracket.
- [05:59]
B
Correct. And it like most of the time it's parents who are beginning to be concerned about their teens. But I am bringing them into the whole process because without them being fully involved, the results just is, they aren't as powerful. And so it's that recognition of the parents that oh, I'm going to be able to benefit and grow right alongside. And what it does for the family connections is, is really powerful.
- [06:30]
A
Yeah. Yeah, I love it. And then so what did, what have you built for this? Like you've been spending time before the launch, like what is it that you're building?
- [06:38]
B
Yeah. So there's the online platform. So there's, it's a mentorship program that we can do virtually. We do do, you know, regular meetings, coaching like that. But there is a platform of training programs that they need to go through. A bunch of them to say this is definitely not for everybody because it's a two year commitment if you really want that kind of growth going into. So again, most of the kids are about to enter college and then sometimes it will carry right through college. Sometimes it's early in their high school years. It, it takes time to get all those kind of foundational elements. So there's an online platform of courses and trainings that they go through and then there is community groups where they can work with other parents who are having their families go through this. So all of that kind of technology pieces are being put together. And then of course there's the, how we're going to promote it and market it and get, get the word out there and all that. So that's. Now are you focused all those logistical.
- [07:48]
A
Are you focused on local community first?
- [07:52]
B
No, it, no, because, because a whole lot of this is, is done this way. It doesn't need to be. And you know, some of the live stuff I do with like school systems or groups, teams, I have another program, athletic master accelerator program that I am really working on trying to partner with college coaches so they can bring in high school athletes to their college and see that. And I come on and do a program that's, that's really much more northeast places that I can easily get to than it is outside. Although I certainly would consider traveling. But that sort of live program and school based programs are definitely more regionally.
- [08:44]
A
Gotcha. Okay. And then, and then tell us your story like where did you come from, did you grow up in Maine originally as a kid.
- [08:49]
B
And yeah, yeah, I grew up Maine. Actually my roots go way, way, way, way back into New England. Direct descendant from Mayflower, Roger's family, the Barnard side of my family helped settle Nantucket island in the 1600s. So my roots are really deep in New England. Go, go way back. And yeah, I grew up where I started going to the University of Southern Maine. I ended up transferring to the University of Maine flagship program up there. And after I got out of college, I actually thought I would be going into the Navy flight program. I was pretty sure my next five years were all laid out. Everything looked like I was a shoe in. And then I got one of those letters that said, sorry, but due to the large number of applicants, we regret to form you that you haven't been accepted. It's kind of like, wow, like I wasn't ready for that. But literally within an hour of getting that letter, I had a call from the Auburn Public Library that a book my mom had reserved for me had come in. That book was Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins. By the end of the following summer, I came back from California certified in NLP by Tony Robbins. And that started me on a fascinating journey. I became a statistic. You know, they say that within the first five years a entrepreneur will end up not succeeding. 50% of them. Well, that was me in those early stages. And really Divine providence guided hand of God. Some really fascinating stories. Don't have time to probably go into all those, but got me directed into education where for the next 30 years I ended up working with kids who really struggled on lots of levels in school.
- [10:45]
A
Were you a teacher or a guidance counselor?
- [10:47]
B
Yeah, so I was a teacher. And the first two jobs I got in teaching, one was working night at a residential program where the kids were. They came from all over the country and they had such emotional and behavioral problems that during the day was all this therapy work and stuff. So their classes were at night. So I taught night there. And during the day I worked as a, they call them education assistants at a day treatment program. So it was a very similar population in a public school right near my home. So I was working day and night with kids who really had troubles and especially at that, that public school that I worked at, where I met, where I met my wife. And then I, yeah, went to my hometown, worked there for eight years, started a day treatment program from scratch and. And then I moved to a more affluent community where they had. Were creating a program that they needed somebody to run it. And I did that for. For 18 years.
- [11:54]
A
Gotcha. Okay. So, yeah, you went through the entrepreneurial journey, for sure. And so in that book, Tony's book, that first one into the library, what are some of the things that stuck out at you that really hit you?
- [12:06]
B
Yeah. What he taught about NLP and the ability we have to control our mind, control our emotion, control our thoughts, to really reprogram ourselves just fascinated me. And in particular, there was a very early experience from the book. Like, I said, this, whatever reason I had, had a gag reflex when I ate tomatoes. So he's telling us something in this book about doing a swish pattern. And I'm like, all right, this sounds fascinating. So I, you know, read it in a book, and I went through the whole process doing a swish pattern about changing how I perceived eating a tomato so that I was reprogramming my brain to make it be like something I enjoyed eating. So I did it, Went in the kitchen, grabbed the tomato, cut it up. My mother was there. She knew, you know, it was a gag reflex. I couldn't help it. I would, like, gag on a tomato, bit right into it, ate the tomato, ate beaten tomatoes ever since, and that was gone like this. Wow, this stuff really is, like, really cool.
- [13:18]
A
Take us through that. Like, what's the high level of that, that process?
- [13:22]
B
Oh, it's really quite simple. It's essentially, you are taking a picture of the behavior, the habit, the thing you want to change. So in my case, right, I had this picture of eating a tomato, and I had to pay attention to what we call the submodalities are. And those are. It's how the picture looks. It's all those qualities and characteristics of that picture. The color of it, the size of it, how far away from it is are you looking straight on at it, up, down, all these kind of characteristics. And you compare that picture to the picture of something you like eating, and you'll notice that there's differences between them, subtle differences. So then you are taking that picture of you eating a tomato, and you literally put it down on a little corner of your TV screen in your mind, and you blow it up really fast. So it takes on all those characteristics of the thing you like eating pizza, right, or whatever the behavior is that you want to change or you want to do. And they call it a swish pattern, because as you do that, you bring your hand to your face and you kind of. You go swish. Then you clear your mind, you do it again, and as you do it, you you begin to do it faster and faster and faster until the image in your mind of eating the tomatoes, in my case looks just like the other picture. And then you test it. And I've used that very successfully with lots of kids. Sometimes it's their perceptions or a belief they have about who they are as a learner or about, you know, everybody's looking at me, the cafeteria. They have such low self image that they think people are always looking at them, whispering about them, what have you. And you can change that belief by doing a swish pattern.
- [15:31]
A
Gotcha.
- [15:32]
B
There are other techniques I use, but that depending on the age of the kid, that can actually be something that they, they do quite, quite well.
- [15:40]
A
So you take the tomato and you put it at the bottom of the screen and then, and as it gets bigger, it turns into pizza and you're looking at all the perceptions of it and then you swish it and do do it over and over again. And then how long does that process take to work?
- [15:54]
B
Minutes, literally. Yeah, yeah, you do it faster and faster each time and, and you know, it's a powerful thing. There's actually on YouTube you can find Tony Robbins when he was young doing a demo of that. There's actually quite a few videos on YouTube that just Google swish pattern and you can find various, you know, directions and, and visual representations of what that process is.
- [16:20]
A
Okay. And now Tony doesn't make this stuff up himself. Where did you ever look at the origin? Like one time I was, I was being mentored and hanging around Grant Cardone a lot and I was like, he didn't make this stuff up himself. Like he's got, got to have gotten this from somewhere and he's reframing it and putting his spin on it. Right. Have you ever gone into like, looking into the origins of where, like where Tony got this stuff from?
- [16:42]
B
Yeah, before I even went out to California to, to meet Tony, I went out with a direct purpose that I was going to go meet Tony Robbins. So I packed up my bags and went out there. Before even doing that, I started looking at all these other books. So Richard Bandler and John Grinder were the co founders of nlp and they were computer programmer and linguist. And what they had done was studied the language patterns of some of the great therapists of the day. So Milton Erickson was hypnotherapist therapist. Virginia Satter, Fritz Pearls. And they, the NLP model was the model that they created from figuring out what these outstanding communicators do and say. So there's Books like Frogs into Princes, which was one of the first books that they wrote. There's a hypnotic patterns of Milton H. Erickson, the Structure of Magic. So there's a bunch of books by Bandler, by Grinder, by Milton Erickson, by some of these others that are kind of the foundational textbooks, more or less of nlp. And I, I read all Gotcha, gotcha.
- [17:52]
A
And so is the swish process. It's form of nlp.
- [17:56]
B
Yeah, yeah. And I, I think that came about by Richard Bandler and Grinder. I don't remember precisely whether they observed one of those therapists using that technique or whether they took what they learned and kind of created that pattern. I don't remember precisely that, but it came out of that kind of that study anyways, that they Gotcha.
- [18:25]
A
And then Tony just picked it up and then went crazy with building his brand and, and like, yeah, he didn't eat right.
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B
So swish pattern. And he's also really big on anchoring. Right. Which is kind of that Pavlov dog thing that, that you have an external stimulus that creates emotions or a particular state in us. And I, I actually one of the stories I like to tell is one of the first tradies I went through with Tony was in New York City before I actually went through the certification program. And it was the four Day Fear and a Power Firewalk experience. And on day two or three, I don't remember which one, he's demonstrating an anchoring technique and he wants to, you know, get volunteers to come up. And the task was he wanted somebody who was really shy around meeting people the opposite sex. And that was me, like, you know, classic kind of kid who would stumble over his, his words and all that, get sweaty palms. And so he asked for volunteers and I kind of raised my hand and he looks at me and he asked me a couple questions and he gets me up on stage and he's demonstrating these anchoring techniques. And I had to ask out somebody from the audience on a date that he brings up and you know, there's like 500 people there. And it so happened that for the, you know, the first two days of this, or whether it was day three or late in day two, I don't remember. But I had been eyeing a young lady there since and like, oh man, maybe I should go sit near her and maybe when we break in these groups I can talk to her or something. Of course I did none of that. But he got me up on stage, was doing all this, and I ended up getting her to Agree to go have a coffee with me and stuff.
- [20:12]
A
It's awesome.
- [20:14]
B
Yeah, it was kind of cool.
- [20:14]
A
Now, did you still go through the same neurological reactions after he showed you that and you just leaned into it and did it anyway, or it just crushed all those.
- [20:26]
B
Can you repeat that again?
- [20:27]
A
Did you have the same symptoms of sweaty palms and stuttering, or did it crush all those. Whatever he did for you or showed you how to do?
- [20:36]
B
Yeah, no, that's a great question, because it wasn't really like I had. I became more consciously aware of what I was going through, and I would kind of then begin consciously going through a similar kind of thing to fire off my own anchors and change my state. But if I didn't, it didn't happen automatically. Right. Like. Like, I could begin to feel that same sort of, you know, nervousness and tensions and all, and I had to kind of. All right, boom, boom. And get myself in a different state. So it. It wasn't like it. Like it became automatic. I had to kind of, you know, work at it, although. Yeah.
- [21:23]
A
And you did this.
- [21:23]
B
I knew what to do at that. From that point. Right. I. I understood that I was in control of my state, and I. All right, I'm going to get rid of these.
- [21:32]
A
Yeah. Because so many people are operating off of an automaticity, like just autopilot kind of cycles, and they just think that they don't have control over it, that they can't do anything about it. And. And when you start to understand that you have control over these things, you just need to be aware of it and start acting towards it and taking the actions to control those states and get into the state that you want. Then you stop becoming a puppet. And. And absolutely, most people are puppets, honestly.
- [22:02]
B
Yeah, no, absolutely. We were. We respond to events around us, and, you know, we just kind of get on this wave and we, you know, we aren't really sure how to kind of ride it. Right. You know, we. We crash lots of times. Right. And that, you know, students, I saw that so often they just become reactive. Right. And that's part of what that mentorship I'm doing is. And I have three foundational trainings that I've been doing for a little while before, kind of putting everything together for a much broader mentorship that I mentioned earlier. And the first one is showing people how and helping them discover what it is going on inside of them. The emotion blocks, the beliefs that they have, the things that are triggering, all the kinds of things I experience, identifying them and then taking ownership. I talk about Becoming a sower of the seeds of possibility. The S is this idea of self discovery and then the O is the ownership. Because when you own these things, you can go, I don't need that, want that, or like that. I'm going to get rid of it. And then it's showing them how to get rid of it, how to take it out with the garbage, so to speak, how to weed it out. That's that W in soda. So. But life is still going to deal with you. They're going to bring weeds, those seeds into your life. And if you don't have those habits in place, that's kind of that W E and R part. The E is empowerment team. The R is ritual. And the whole idea is this idea of, I call it applying heat to your life, habit, emotion, attitude training. And you need to build those into your life. We all have habits, particularly morning and evening ones. We just do them right. You know, you get up, you take a shower, brush your teeth, grab your cup of coffee, head out the door. You do it every day. There's no purpose and ritual understanding plan behind any of those. So I talk about what you need to do to build in these habits that are going to help you continually manage your emotions, your attitude, train those in. That's an ongoing lifelong process. And having empowerment teams around you to turn those habits into rituals which are more related to ceremonial and identity related. So they're more than just habits. They are have more power, planning and purpose behind them.
- [24:50]
A
Gotcha.
- [24:51]
B
And that's another whole training. So there's the clearing out part and then there's. All right, now let's work with you to build these habits and rituals so you can get up out the life knocks you down. Because it does knock you down. You know, I've experienced that in my own life, right. It will suddenly just boom.
- [25:15]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [25:16]
B
Hit you high.
- [25:16]
A
Yeah. You know, I gotta tell you, I'm a pretty built dude. Like, not just built like that, but like, but I'm. I'm pretty. I've been through a lot, right? And I've learned a lot. I've done, done put in the work, right. And I still go through things acutely. I'll say, not chronically, but acutely. I'll still go through things and I'm like, man, I feel like this as I'm going through this. And I'm built the way I am and put it, I've put in the work. I can't imagine what people are going through that don't have this like foundation.
- [25:44]
B
Yeah.
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A
I mean, and. And when you're going through it, you feel like you're alone. Like, I'm the only one going through this. Like, everybody else seems like on the surface, out there on social media and out in public, everybody's got it together, right? Sometimes, Chuck, I'll walk through the airport. When I travel quite a bit, I walk through the airport and I just. I'll. Most people don't look at anybody when they're walking, but I'll look and I'll look at people's faces, and I just try to think about what that person's going through and understand that everybody's got something going on, man. And. And, you know, it's. This is interesting to think about, like. But however, everybody's still walking in the airport, they're going on a flight somewhere, they figured something out, right? So it also tells you in the back of your head too, that, hey, there's hope. And, you know, the birds still fly in the sky and they're still eating out there, right? So, like, as you're working with these folks, you gotta, like, remind them that, hey, you know, look, you're gonna be taken care of as long as you keep going. You know, that's really the key, what it comes down to, like, when you're talking about falling down, like, get up. Keep going. Just keep going. I say this to myself all the time, every morning, man, keep going, dude, just keep going. Because it's not. It's not always easy. For the most part. It's very hardly ever easy when you think about it.
- [26:54]
B
Yeah, no, you know, that's. That's a lesson that, you know, I can still remember kind of growing up. Life's not fair, and all these kind of lessons that. That are kind of passed down. And, you know, in hindsight, I realized how blessed my life really has been. But it was three years ago. Over three and a half years ago, June of 2022, my wife was diagnosed with cancer. And in July, she passed away. And you know, that was. That was like, obviously just a powerful emotional experiences and all. And it was those habits, it was my faith. It was all those things I'd been consciously and purposely building into my life that really helped me go through that grieving process and keep, you know, really keep going. And it was actually in December that year that two events happened that were really the driving force of what I'm doing now. The foundation for what I'm doing now was started just before that. But after my wife passed, I would begin, like, why am I gonna do all that. And in December, former student who I kept in touch with over the years, she knew my wife had passed. And in December, she lost her brother to a drug overdose and a grandmother who had raised her within two weeks, just before Christmas time. And her family had a dark history of alcoholism, drug abuse, anxiety, depression, just all of that, and a long, dark history. And she had avoided that for most of her life. She's got a great story, and she was going in a dark place, and she kind of reached out and, you know, we worked, taught, grieved together for some. And she said that what she found herself falling back on were those skills and mindset things we had worked on her to develop in middle school. And I was like, oh, wow. Like, all right. I began to get it, and then I saw a post that my son put on on December 31, and he put it up on Instagram and he had, you know, lost his mom during the summer. He had for two years been playing college baseball on the local college team for a coach. He. A legendary coach. He loved playing with these guys, but he was barely on the team, right? Like, he was just hanging on. He had been a walk on. He hadn't ever been recruited. And he was cut that fall. And, you know, he lost his mom in baseball, which had been an identity thing with him. He was a baseball player. He loved playing baseball. And he wrote a post on Instagram basically saying that, you know, this has been a crazy year for me, really hard. Lost, you know, two of the most important things in my life. But I'm not going to hang my head. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. I'm grateful for having them in my life in the first place. I get emotional just talking about it and basically says, hey, bring 20, 23 on. I'm ready for it. Let's go. And I realized how much he had. He had developed and had grown and matured from all those lessons. Sometimes, sometimes you aren't sure if your kids are getting them, you know, And I was just like, all right. And realized that this is something that people really need to learn how to do it. Some people are fortunate, however it is. They pick it up, model it, what have you. But others need really the structure to be taught the skills. So, yeah, that's kind of where I'm. Where I'm at.
- [31:06]
A
Yeah. Thanks for sharing that, man. I appreciate your vulnerability, too, because I could feel it and I could relate to and. Yeah, and. And you got to use that energy to propel you to do this mission that you guys are on. Because this is powerful, man, and we need more people like you, Chuck.
- [31:22]
B
Well, thank you for that. You know, it's. Sometimes it still gets hard. Those emotions come up, but it's also a reminder of what that mission is now.
- [31:34]
A
So can I share something with you? I don't usually do this, but I'm.
- [31:37]
B
Gonna share something with you, please.
- [31:38]
A
So everybody's an entrepreneur, goes through different things. You're trying to figure things out. I'm the type of guy, when things aren't going exactly the way I want them to go or the way that I think they should go, I get obsessive, and I think I got to do more. Like, I got. I got to do more. So last night, I'm at dinner with my wife, and I feel terrible about it, but I. And I, we've already talked and handled it, but I'm on the phone at dinner with my wife. I'm on my phone trying to message people, reach out, just connect with people. Just feel like I need to. I wasn't doing enough. Right. And when. And the mission behind that is I want to take care of my family to a certain degree.
- [32:15]
B
Right.
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A
I have a certain level that I want to go, and I'm relentless on it. Right. But is it worth the sacrifice of the relationships that you're trying to provide for? And so I'm not a perfect human being, man. As well as I'm building the work that I put into, I still have things that I just slip up on. And you're telling me the story about your wife and things that can happen all of a sudden like that. And. And it's like, man, for what. What. What are you obsessing over this? For what? Like, really, you know, so thank you for sharing that with me. That hit me in where it needed to and put things in perspective for me, Chuck. So thank you very much.
- [32:53]
B
Thank you. And, you know, it's. It's one of the reasons you share things like that, right? You never know. Never know where that seed. Yeah.
- [33:03]
A
Yeah. Well, Chuck, where can people go deeper with you to find out more?
- [33:08]
B
The best way to reach me is coachchuck360.com it's coachchuck360.com and if I may, I would love to offer your guests a free gift. There's a. Actually a couple options that they have. I have a 10 week transformation kind of guideline on. On just a blueprint for what they can do, some of the things that kind of shared here, but I also would be willing to waive a fee that I usually charge for like an in depth strategy session and that's an opportunity for you to share people your guests to share. There'd be a special link I need to send for the calendar so they don't have to pay. But, but if they just go to coachchuck360.com There's a contact me section. Send me a text with their first last name, best email and just put C Rock down there and I'll, I'll know what awesome. I'll know what to send out and I'll, I'll send that out to them. And on that, that site there's they got all my website, all my everything's there so they can find it.
- [34:18]
A
Shout out to Ray Perez for setting that up. Good job, Ray.
- [34:21]
B
Yeah, absolutely right. No doubt.
- [34:24]
A
I want to thank you and hang tight while I wrap this up, folks. That's this episode of the what do you made of show with your boy C Rock and Chuck Barnard sharing what he's made of. Go check him out. And also make sure you hit the Follow subscribe button at the top of your favorite podcast platform and keep coming back. Until next time, be that one.