← What Are You Made Of?
What Are You Made Of?
When Success Isn’t Enough: Molly Asplin on Purpose, Loss, and Reinvention
00:30:05
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- [00:00]
A
Welcome back to the what are you made of Show. It's your boy C Rock, here. I'm with Molly Asplen. She's going to share what she's made of. Like we always do, folks. We find. We want to find out the ingredients that have gone into making people who they are. Maybe we can pick a couple things out of there to implement in our own lives. Molly, welcome to the show.
- [00:16]
B
Thanks for having me. I'm happy to be here.
- [00:18]
A
Yeah, well, no, it's my pleasure. It's my pleasure. We'll have a. Well, let's have an argument of who's. Who's more happy to be here. My pleasure. Molly, I love having great guests, and I'm excited to hear your story and what you're made of. So let's get into it. What are you made of?
- [00:33]
B
I believe I'm made of high drive and high meaning. I've always liked to work and build and contribute, but I've sort of learned throughout the years that it's got to matter to me. Like, the work that I'm doing, I need to feel like I'm making a difference. And I realized that when I've gotten away from that or when I've gotten into this trap of busy or achievement, I sort of lose sight of what really matters or who I am. And so that's really what I help people do today as well. Which we can always help people with the things that we've struggled with, right?
- [01:09]
A
Yeah, for sure. I see it all the time. I mean, those that have gone through something and figured out the answer become evangelists about it.
- [01:16]
B
I don't know if I figured out the answer, but I'm closer than I was, put it that way.
- [01:20]
A
Well, yeah, but you figured some things out that work for you.
- [01:24]
B
Absolutely.
- [01:24]
A
When it works, you're like. And. And I think there's such a euphoric feeling sometimes when we find something that works, and it's like, oh, man, I want everybody to experience this feeling. You know? For me, it was. I was in a commoditized business, the mortgage industry, and I hated it, but I was making so much money, I felt trapped. It just became like this transactional thing. And. And then I was just like, man, I can't live. I can't live the rest of my life like this. But everybody around me was cool with it. Like, they were cool with living, hey, this is who I am. My identity as a mortgage person. And I just wasn't cool with it. And it made me feel like such an outsider, and I Was gonna say expatriated, but that's what I meant. But, like, ex. Excluded from the group, even though I was running the group. Yeah. So what's your story? Like, what happened with you? Like, where were you going? What were you doing? And then when did you have this realization that you wanted to help people?
- [02:21]
B
Yeah, I spent 10 years in corporate finance, so that's my background. I worked for a large corporation here in Minneapolis. And I started to have those feelings then of exactly like you're saying, Mike. Like, I feel like an outsider. I feel like everyone else is, like, loving this or okay with this, but it's not. It's not doing it for me. And so I made a pretty big pivot and got into direct sales and built a large team of 1200. And I did that for the next 10 years. And similar to probably your experience in the mortgage industry, it taught me a whole bunch about sales and marketing and people and leading, and a lot of great came from it. But I got really wrapped up in it, and I started to. It just consumed me. And it was like, all my time, my friendships, everything was kind of there. And then they pulled the network, and so my position was eliminated, my income was eliminated, and that really rocked me. And I'm a pretty. I don't take huge risks, typically. I mean, accountant background. And I was like, wow, this has really affected me. And I felt like when these kind of external things were stripped away from me, I just. I didn't know who I was. Like, it really affected my identity. And so. And that was two years ago. So I've really done a lot of work unraveling that and building up from that. And now I help a lot of other people with transitions, too, to know, like, who are you beyond the title and who are you without these accolades? Because if you can build like that, which I'm doing now, and it's working, it feels a lot better now. It's not perfect. And of course, I still get wrapped up in some of that stuff, but when you can lead from a place of intrinsic motivation, it just makes a world of difference.
- [04:22]
A
A hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, I get questions all the time, like, why are you creating this network? I have over 600 people in it, and you don't charge for it. You don't get paid to do it. I have to. I mean, I don't trust anybody else to monitor it and keep, like, the spam out of it and this. I just. I just handle it myself, but I don't. My return is not the money. Part for this. You know what I mean? I have a business, and. But. But that's not the return. Like, the return for me is that identity is to serve people I've created because I can relate to this identity thing. You know, I was in that business, and I played college football. I played football for, like, 11 years, and I was a football player, then I was a business guy. I. I figured this thing out, Molly, and I'd love to hear your take on this. Like, your identity is not what you do, but yet people think to be great. You have to be obsessed with what you're doing, and you have to become that, and that's your identity. And to me, it's like, no, your identity is who you are, what you stand for, your mission, your values. And. And then what you do is your vehicle. And when your vehicle stops, crashes, you exit from a business, stop playing football or military, whatever, you just hop out of that vehicle and you can get in a new one because you're clear on your identity 100%.
- [05:32]
B
Yeah, I agree with what you're saying. I think this might sound too soft or something, but it's like, when you can build yourself strong enough so that, I don't know, the ups and downs don't affect you as much. I think that's the magic. And listen, I think I probably had to go through all that to get to this place now. But, yeah, you've got to be able to trust yourself enough that, you know, what's going on externally doesn't, like, derail you because things are going to go awry. We know that.
- [06:11]
A
Yeah. You know, also, you're in your. Your. Who. You're in proximity to matters. Like, I had a friend of mine, I played golf a lot, and I was playing golf with a guy named Brian, and he said to me one time I was going through the mortgage thing, and I was like, man, this is before I decided to shut it down. And it was just tough. And. And I was stressed out with the people, the toxicity and this and that. And I was like, man, I don't know if I do this anymore, you know? And he's like, dude, no matter what you do, you're going to be successful. And I was just like, really? And I wasn't thinking about that, about myself that way, you know, so it's important to have people around you. My wife is a phenomenal supporter. You know, she even said one time, like, we'll figure it out. And I'm like, we will. You know, and so.
- [06:49]
B
Well, I'm glad you Believe that?
- [06:50]
A
Yeah. Did you have people around you speaking into you?
- [06:53]
B
100%. I think proximity, this idea of proximity is so important. I mean no matter if you're in a big transition or not, it's like you really do rise or fall to the mindsets and the habits of people around you. And I think when I was really low I needed people, my husband was great to remind me like there's more than this. You're going to figure this out, you're going to find your way. And sometimes we need people outside of us to speak that into us. And I've hired coaches and therapists and I really believe in all that stuff because sometimes we really get tunnel visioned and one tracked with things and then when that one track is derailed, you question yourself. So 100% proximity is key and it's also key when you're trying to go to the next level. It's key in the good seasons too because otherwise you start to coast and yeah, get too comfortable. That's real too.
- [07:57]
A
Yeah, for sure. I just put a post in the group this morning said one of the things in it was no matter what level I get to and I kind of put a list of things I've been involved with that I always pretend every morning I wake up every morning pretending nobody's ever heard of me. I love that because I don't want, you know, there's so many people in the. What's that? We have this WhatsApp chat as you know, but for those listening and people will comment in there but they assume everybody knows who they are. And if you don't have your number saved or somebody's number saved as a contact you can, can't tell. You see a number. So it's like 443-235-9246 is saying this right? And I was like the, the gumption of people, the gall of people to think that everybody knows who they are. So that post was about putting your name at the bottom of your post. And I still do it to this day. And it's my group like if, if I'm doing it, everybody should be doing it because it'll skyrocket the connections and availability instead of, you know, providing a roadblock, you know, for sure. So yeah, I mean now you, you, you had in a direct sale part there was like over a thousand people that you built. But can you talk about how that was built? Because I know that it wasn't by yourself and, and I think a lot of people think they have to do everything by Themselves, they put this extra pressure on them. You can't do everything by yourself. You can't do great things without other people. So can you take us through that process of how you built that?
- [09:19]
B
Yeah, I can. And I mean, it taught me so much about people and human behavior and what motivates people, what doesn't motivate people. What really helped me in leadership is one, understanding who someone is. And so I think it's very hard to lead if you don't. Yeah. Understand someone's not their full personality type, but understand who they are. I'm really good at getting to know people on a relational level. And I just think when you can go deep with someone and really understand who they are, their family, what they care about, you're able to lead them so much better. And so, yeah, the team got really big, but it was built one person by one person with a lot of care and a lot of meaning. And building high integrity people is super important to me. And so first that's where it started, was this level of trust. But then I got really good at teaching process and leading it myself first and understanding what worked. Leading by example, but then creating a process and being able to duplicate that. Right. So that's a term we used in indirect sales a lot. Duplicate that in a way that other people could follow and that in a way that didn't take away from who they were, but was a repeatable, successful system.
- [10:49]
A
Yeah, yeah. It's huge. I mean, everything I've done that's been big or great or whatever has involved great people and understanding that, look, I'm good at some things, but I'm not good at everything.
- [11:01]
B
Yeah, no, and you're. Go ahead.
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A
No, I was just gonna say, and I'm not only that. I don't like doing everything, so why would I do the things if I can find somebody else to help do it?
- [11:09]
B
So, yeah, I, I am a big fan of. Yeah. Teaching other people how to do things like that ripple effect and that transcendence of the mission or whatever it might be is so much stronger when you can do that. And if you're, if you're micromanaging or thinking, you have to be the face. You know, I hear people say this, like, I need to be the face of the business, or I need to, you know, I'm the business, my personality is the business. And I think it's kind of putting their foot in their mouth because it is really hard to scale a micromanaged or I'm the personality of the business. It's hard to scale, that kind of stuff.
- [11:48]
A
Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you this. I have the company, that one agency that has over 200 active clients booking top podcasts. I have not booked in five years. From the beginning. I have not booked one of the podcasts.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And we've booked over 5,000 podcasts. So you can do it without. And you need to do it without you doing it. You need to know now in business, you need to know all areas of your business so that you know somebody's not pulling the wool over your eyes. And I had a mentor tell me one time what you don't know in your business will run you. And you got to be able to hold people accountable, but if you don't know what to hold them accountable to.
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B
Right.
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A
So you don't need to do everything, but you need to know everything a hundred percent. You know, enough to hold people accountable. Right. So.
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B
Yeah. And then I work with a lot of leaders who. They know everything. They do, but they'll very quickly step back in and, you know, oh, I. I wanted it to move faster, so I just did it. And it's. It's just like this constant boomerang thing happening then of. They're trying to pass it off. And granted, it might be a complex task, but you have to trust that people are going to figure that out.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And it might be done a little bit differently than you. It will be done a little different. Differently than you. But that is. That's how you transcend your leadership.
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A
Yeah. For sure. Yeah. And. And the team, it matters to them. You trusted in them.
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B
100.
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A
I want my team to look just. If you do something on your own, do something your own. If I wanted to adjust it later on, we'll. We'll talk about that. If you have a question on something, come to me, but just. Just do it and, and do what you think's best. I trust you. And it means the world to them, you know. So now, living in Minneapolis, Minneapolis, what was it like to have that in the news and be dealing with, like, that's the center of attention for all the news channels and everything. Minneapolis, Minneapolis. That, like, I was just thinking what I was watching. I was like, the people that live there, like, I wonder what they're thinking. No matter what, you know, views they have and whatever, put that to the side. But just the fact that the spotlight was on Minneapolis.
- [13:45]
B
Yeah, it. It was interesting because it felt it. It's so close to home. Right. Like, it's. It's our neighborhoods. And so I Don't know, like the actual news, like bubble and everything. It almost started to become more irrelevant to me. And maybe not everyone felt this way, but it was like, yeah, but I actually care about, like, what's going on in the city that I live in, and I actually care about my neighbors next door or, you know, the people in my community. And so I think with Minneapolis being in the news so much, I've turned the news off a lot more because I'm like, well, yeah, but I know I live here and I'm part of this community and so I don't need to listen to 20,000 opinions on it.
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A
Everybody knows everything. You know what I mean?
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B
Yeah, everyone knows everything.
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A
Oh, my God.
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B
We know that the news exaggerates things and twists it and spins it. I'm not saying none of it is
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A
accurate, but I was in LA a couple weeks ago and I was in this building that's 70 some floors high. And I was at the top, the lobby is on the 70th floor, if that tells you anything. Floor to ceiling windows. And I was looking out and I saw this like, small group of maybe 150 to 100 people. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. People are gathering down there. Okay. And then I went back to my room later on, and all over the news it was this like, huge protest. And all the channels, no matter what side, whatever, it was all talking about this huge protest, whatever. And I saw it personally and it was only like 50 to 100 people. They act like it was thousands, you know, so it's all sensationalized and to sell more ads and, and what have you. So.
- [15:28]
B
Well, it's. It's just like we can do so much more inside our communities than I think that we can do in this, like, online world. And that, that kind of bothers me. Right. That we all like, sit like keyboard warriors and it's like, or we could just, you know, go help in the community with boots on the ground and, you know, do something. And I understand having influence online and that can help and everything, but. Yeah, I'm just kind of over the, like, digital distraction from what's actually going on and how we can actually help.
- [15:59]
A
Yeah. And, you know, speaking of the fact that people have opinions and everybody's got an opinion. Right. But so many people speak. And I'll tie this into your line of work. There's so many people that speak on something, but they don't have all the data. And they got to understand that they don't have all the data for Example, when we're talking about the news and politics and different things and whatever, there's information that is classified, quote unquote. And you don't know all that information based on what you're seeing. So how can you have an opinion on that without that data? So in our line of work, what we see a lot of times is not lack of data, but it's lack of experience. People haven't accomplished anything.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And they're going out trying to help other people and they're good marketers. Right. And they haven't done anything themselves. So one question I always ask people is like, hey, what have you done? I'm never gonna, I'm never gonna try to tell somebody, look, I'll help you build a nine figure business. I mean, I've done, I've helped, been a part of one, but I haven't done it myself.
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B
Sure.
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A
So I'm not gonna try to help somebody else build a nine figure business and tell them that I can do that because I don't know for sure that I can do that. Right. So do you see that out there too, when you're looking out there and watching?
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B
Yeah, all the time. And I'm someone who really values lived experience exactly like what you're saying, Mike. I don't like when people haven't done it. And so I'm always like, I'm not going to take financial advice from someone who doesn't have great finances. And so I think it is really important that you understand. Yeah. Even the values and the work and the lifestyle, like, how are people actually living and is that someone you want to take advice from? That's important to me. And I don't actually know if it's important to everyone. I have picked up on that too. I think that or they just get caught up in the marketing and kind of like sucked into something that's not high integrity. But yeah, I do my homework a lot when it comes to the coaching industry and who. And actually it's usually like by referrals is how my business is really built. And that's usually how I've hired coaches too, is by referrals. Because I need to know that they're genuine and real and that they've walked the walk.
- [18:19]
A
Yeah. Yeah. You know, one thing I like to put out there is, and this didn't happen early on in our business, I could not have a 600 some person WhatsApp group with probably half of the people, maybe just under half the people that have worked with us. Right.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And have this open channel, this open chat with people to being able to say good or bad about a company that I have. Early on, we were figuring things out. Any business you're trying to figure out, systems, process fulfillment and all that, I would have never started early on because I just didn't have the confidence in it. But once you get to that stage, you can do that and you can put it out there and you have that. That freedom to be transparent with everything. It's pretty freeing, you know.
- [19:02]
B
Well, it is. And then it's like you sort of have free marketing because you've delivered a good experience that has built trust with other people who are now talking about it.
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A
Yeah, for sure. For sure.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Now you have a podcast. And I love the name of it, because what I messed up with my podcast and I couldn't change it once I'm in. I could have, but I just didn't. Mine is called what are you made of? Right. It's not really searchable like in the title. You should have. And I tell everybody this, but I didn't practice this part because I got too deep in too late. A searchable thing in the title. The modern high performer Podcast. Great name, because you can search a high performance and then your podcast is going to come up. And I just missed that. I missed the boat on that one, honestly. But I love that.
- [19:48]
B
You could rebrand it.
- [19:49]
A
Yeah, I could rebrand it. But now the brand has been established, so it's like, you know, you got to look at the risk. Not the risk reward for doing it. Like, sure. But for you. Phenomenal. How long have you been doing the podcast?
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B
I've been doing the podcast since 2021, and it was originally called the Dream it, do it podcast.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And I did a rebrand a couple years ago, and it was pretty wild how quickly I started getting pitched by really awesome guests. And why? Because they all have high performance in the things that they want to talk about. And so it was really strategic when I picked the name, and I used AI to do a lot of research on what the name should be. And yeah, on the show, we talk a lot about leadership and ambition in this modern world and digital distraction. It's really hard to be really easy to be in a million different places, but then have trouble focusing on the thing that really matters. And, yeah, we talk about a lot about leadership in the workplace and climbing in a way that aligns with your life.
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A
Yeah. What has it done for you, having a podcast, personally and professionally?
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B
Yeah, I mean, I've gotten actually a Lot of speaking engagements from my podcast. Not a lot, I should say a handful, but they've been the right speaking engagements. I like long form content. I don't like playing like the Instagram reels game and the, I like email and podcast because I feel like my, when people hear my voice, they can trust me so much faster than when they see a quick snip on Instagram or they see a static post or a carousel or something. So it has brought in a lot of coaching clients throughout the years. And it's not, I will say this and maybe I'm doing something wrong. It's not a quick. They listen to one show and they want to be a client. It's been long game for me and the speaking engagements have been quick. They're like, I listen to a podcast, can you come and speak at our event? So that's interesting. But the clients, it's a long game and I think it's because they find episodes and they listen to them for a few weeks and then maybe they sit on them. But yeah, then they come in through the funnel and it's, it's been powerful.
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A
Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's the thing with the quick thing and speaking, that's great that you, you got to be willing to accept things that come quick, but you can't want things to come quick because.
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B
Right.
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A
You get, when you want it quick, it's just like winning the lottery. It goes quick and you have a lack of appreciation for it. You know, I'm in this for the long game. I, I don't know where this is going to take me, but I do know this things happen sometimes and I'm like, oh, this is awesome. It just came out of nowhere. Right? But it's not come out of nowhere, it's coming from 2,000 plus podcasts, guests and you know, both sides of the mic, doing speaking and engagement, building these relationships. I do, I do 5 to 815 minis with perfect strangers every day, Monday through Friday. Right. And I've done that since 2020. So it builds up compounds and then these things come. Now the other thing is, from my point of view, it looks like it has like popped out of nowhere. But because I don't think we appreciate and assess how far we've come and all the work we put in, that's one thing. The second thing is from the other side of the view, from other people, it looks like you just came out of nowhere and you had overnight success too. And that's not the case. Right. So I don't mind the long game, because great things come from it when you commit.
- [23:21]
B
I don't either. And I like the act of doing it. I think that's important. I don't like sitting, like I said, and writing a post and clipping music and, oh, my gosh, drive my head into the ground. I like coming up with good content, like a mini masterclass that's really going to help people. That's evergreen, that's going to stay there forever and that people can share. And, like, I just. I love the act of podcasting and, like, using my voice and trying to say something in a simple, concise way that people can understand and latch onto. I just. I. I think it's a really cool medium.
- [23:58]
A
Yeah, Yeah, I agree. I. I mean, listen, both sides of the mic is been phenomenal for me, and I think having my show has been great, and there's great. But, like, the guesting part for me, it's literally changed my life, changed its trajectory. I mean, it's the. And what most people miss about guesting on podcasts is the relationships. People do it for. Like, I want to leverage somebody else's audience and get attention, and that's great. To me, that's icing on the cake. The relationships have been worth millions of dollars to me from podcast guesting, and most people miss that. You know, I don't know. I. I just. I love it. I love meeting new people. I've been invited to different things because of it. It's. It's exponential. Because when you meet with the right person, you get tapped into their network. If they vouch for you, game over, man. It's just. It's great.
- [24:46]
B
Totally. Yeah.
- [24:48]
A
How about let's. Oh, go ahead.
- [24:49]
B
Go ahead.
- [24:50]
A
No, no, go ahead.
- [24:50]
B
I was just gonna say I had a guest on yesterday. Um, well, we were just doing an introductory call, but I still. I can't stop thinking about what we were talking about. And I'm like, man, that was. That is such a good topic. And it's like, I just want to know more. And, you know, I'm going to interview him in a few weeks here, but I would never know he even existed or his business even existed or this concept even existed. And so, yeah, it's. It. It brings really cool people into my life that I just wouldn't have exposure to otherwise.
- [25:19]
A
Yeah, for sure. You know. Did I introduce you to my partner, Todd?
- [25:24]
B
I don't think so. I've emailed him, though.
- [25:26]
A
Okay. I'm gonna introduce you after the show here, because one thing that we do and we do this for free to the right people. I have access to people that a lot of people don't have access to, and I love sharing that with the right people. And you're talking about, like, getting your mind blown. I have people that will blow your mind and performance and things and concepts that you might not have ever heard before. Some of you may. But we love doing that. I love being. Because if, you know, look, and you mentioned this before, when you rebranded, you had people starting to reach out. I do this. I do as well. But, like, sometimes it's like they're not aligned and you get hit from all different angles. I. I take pride in intentional. Hyper. Intentional connections. Not just for podcasting, but for business or relationships. And it makes the, you know, all the world a difference. And when people come to me with it, I'm always looking for, like, were they intentional with this? Or is it just, like, are they just half assing it, you know, or just transactional? Yeah, yeah. It's like, I'm not going for that, you know? And when I was early on, though, I felt like I had to answer everybody. I really. I had this guilt conscious. Like, I got to answer everybody. Like, they're taking the time to reach out, like. But I got over that. How about you? Did you ever have that where you.
- [26:31]
B
Yeah, I definitely had that. Or I just couldn't keep up. So then I wouldn't resp. Now I have an admin who helps me with, like, all the podcast inquiries, and she'll respond like, hey, we're not taking guests right now. Or, this isn't aligned.
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A
Right.
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B
Yeah, I had trouble with that in the beginning. Or it was like, okay, I'll like anyone and everyone. But then I would be halfway through the interview and I'm like, this is not. I don't. This isn't even relevant. I don't care about this. You know, like, no offense, but I want. I want speakers who are very aligned with my audience and are going to teach us something different or have a different take on it. Like, I don't want to hear the same old thing.
- [27:10]
A
Yeah, yeah. Well, we're up against the clock. I want to cover one more thing here. And, you know, people ask me this a lot in performance because I have a background in performance, and. And they like, what's the most important thing about performance? And for me, and I want to hear your take on this. Mine is clarity. Like, if you don't know where you want to go, you have no idea how to direct your attention. And we only have so Many attention units to spend. Like you're sitting in this room, I'm sitting, I'm sitting in mine. And there's trillions of things we could be paying attention to, but we only have so many attention units to spend. And so if you don't direct your attention, something else will. So for me, clarity is so important because most people don't know what they want or where they want to go or who they want to be. Your take on that and then also what's your thing that you think is the most important in performance?
- [27:52]
B
I think clarity is probably is step one. Like in the science, it is step one. So I would agree with that. But I would also say, and I think one that a lot of even high performing people miss is courage.
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A
Oh, yeah.
- [28:05]
B
I think they are locked in to a certain path or a certain way of being or living that their parents did or that they think is the right thing to do or to be loyal and they just forget how to take chances or they never build that skill or they've never had a big misstep and so they just like status quo and they're not happy and they're certainly capable. I just see, I see this all the time with clients that I work with and really awesome people that I'm like, the worst case scenario is not that bad. Like, just try, right? Like, take a chance. And it's so fun when you do take those chances. Okay, it's not fun. It's sometimes really scary, but it's really fun. Like when you're just a little bit on the other side, like, wow, like, look what I'm capable of. I wish people had more courage, you know?
- [28:55]
A
You know what I say? I go to the extreme with this. I'm like, listen, I came into this world butt naked, not knowing how to talk. No relationships, no experience and knowledge, and I made it this far. Just imagine what I could do if I had to go back to being butt naked. But I could, I could talk now. Don't visualize that, everybody. I could talk now. I have experience, I have network. And what could happen now? I have to remind myself of that a lot of times, so. Well, Molly, I appreciate you being here. Where can people go deeper with you?
- [29:23]
B
Hop over to the Modern High Performer podcast. That's the best, the best and easiest way to do it. And yeah, you'll find probably a bunch of topics that relate to high performance, leadership, taking chances, everything that we're talking about. I think that's a great place. The Modern High Performer podcast.
- [29:39]
A
Let's go, go check it out. Molly, thank you so much for your time today. Hang tight while I wrap this up, folks. That's this episode of the what do you Made Of Show. It's your boy C Rock here with Molly Asplin. She shared what she's made of. Hope you got something out of this episode. If you have, leave a review and also go to the top of your favorite podcast platform and hit subscribe or follow so you get access to all of our episodes from the past and from the future. Until next time, signing off. For now, be that one.