A (3:15)

Yeah, yeah, I like that.

B (3:18)

I've worked with a lot of women. Not that I don't work with men I work with. I have a lot of male clients as well, but I've worked with a lot of women who are kind of made of the same thing. I feel like they're capable, they're experienced, they're caring more than anyone sees. And they're not beginners, they're not freelancers anymore. They've built something, I think, that has so much potential to become bigger, to scale, to have more impact. They're smart and they, they know their, they know their stuff, Mike. They know their stuff so well. But their messaging and how they kind of show up is like who they were five years ago. And that can feel really hard to run a business and show up, especially today with like authentic authenticity. Easy for me to say. Being so important in how we show up. So we always start with like a really deep dive with them, spend a lot of time. I call it brand therapy because I feel like we all need to know where we've been, where we are, where we want to go, and what's challenging us. And then from there we don't necessarily need more marketing tactics or trends or something fancy and shiny. They need someone to help them see what's missing because they're probably too close to the work to even see what's missing. So I see this pattern so many times. I think it's probably because I've had To, like, reroute. So many times I look at patterns differently, and what I see a lot with them is, like, decision fatigue and cognitive overload and emotional labor. And branding frameworks just have never accounted for those things for women. And so I'm writing a book that I needed like five, ten years ago called Brand Magic, which for me is really about building something successful on the outside and feeling. I was really. I. I felt like by all stretches of the imagination, I was successful. You know, clients, revenue, referrals, all that. But I was so stretched thin inside that I was miserable and burnt out and overwhelmed with the whole process. And I just knew had to be a different way. And so I needed a way that branding and showing up for my business and being visible in front of my business honored my life, my ability, my bandwidth that I had, and also the season that I was in as a mom, as a wife, if my husband was deployed, all those things kind of affected how I could show up for my clients and for my work. So it's not.

A (5:32)

Well, how. Yeah, how did you. How did you do that? Like, what. When you figured out, like, I need to figure out a different way, there's got to be a better way.

B (5:39)

One thing happened. It was like a. Probably a watershed of things. Things that happened. Right. So one time, it was, my husband's deployed, my son needed me more than ever because he was little, and I didn't have a support system because I was away from my family, because we were.

A (5:55)

We had some technical difficulties. We're back. All right, Beverly. So it's not one thing.

B (5:59)

It is not one thing. I think it's. It's like a watershed moment of just things compounding. Right. So when my husband was deployed and I had a toddler at home, and I was away from all my family, my friends, my support system because we had just moved to a new city. We just PCs with the Army. I had to figure things out on my own. And while I can be superwoman, doesn't necessarily mean that's the healthiest thing for you to do. So I had to learn to ask for help in ways I never had before. And when I did that, when I asked for help, when I started noticing that there were places that I needed help, assistance that I couldn't do, everything, I became really aware of the season I was in, but also what I needed at the time. And so now, like my husband, if he's out of town, I don't work past 3:30, so that when my son comes home, I can be ready for him and I, I can make my own schedule. I can say I don't work for past 3:30 on those days. I can now, if I know, like we're going to be launching something really big next month, I can now take my schedule and be far more intentional about how that schedule works. Or before I thought I had to say yes to everything and I had to do everything and I had to be everywhere and I had to do all these things because that's what success looked like from the outside on Instagram or wherever you would. Looking at business owners. And what I think what was missing for me was I saw a lot of people talking about how to start a business. I saw a lot of people talking about the success of business, but they didn't talk a lot about the messy middle of business and of being human and having a life and all those things. So I now decided there was a different way. I just decided that it doesn't have to be this way and that I get, I have permission to build the exact business that I want and that makes me feel good and that fulfills the purpose that I believe I am supposed to be here on this planet to do. So.

A (7:54)

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's so important. There's a law of indirect effort. And, you know, sometimes when you're doing more and try to do more, more, more, more, you don't get results. But if you lay back and just do and then take care of the rest of your life, stuff starts to click. You know, you see it all the time.

B (8:11)

It's not just clicking. I feel like it's even more than that, Mike. I think it's what I've seen over and over again with my clients and even for myself, the experience I've had, I. I believe that when you are more in alignment to your world and how you actually function and can show up, you become more magnetic. So from a branding perspective, I want you to be more magnetic. I want you to have more confidence. I want you to feel when you look and feel comfortable, when you exude confidence, you are irresistible. And I believe that that doesn't happen until you find your alignment of what works for you. And that can change and evolve and ebb and flow and all those things doesn't have to be something constant. It's very organic. But it is like listening to yourself of, like, what matters, what drives you, what drains you, what's closest to the money, you know, for yourself, those kinds of things. And being intentional. We talked about that before we got on being far more intentional. About what matters can make a huge difference. So you don't feel like you have to do everything all the time as a business owner.

A (9:12)

Yeah. Well, how did you identify what you needed help with?

B (9:16)

Oh, it was time. Time was probably the thing, and probably for most people, I would think this is true. Time is this finite system that we live in, live in. And I realized that I needed to be far more intentional about my time. So instead of taking meetings all the time, what I started to do was like, okay, on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do client meetings, and I'm gonna have a mommy's helper calm during that time so that I can fully focus on what I'm doing, but also be present if my son needs me in some way, shape, or form. And so it was like, time. So then it was like, well, if that. I'm gonna do that for those days, then on Mondays, I'm gonna do operations. Mondays is gonna be all about coaching. It's gonna be about, like, my coaching, like doing coaching for myself, doing my hr, doing my operations, doing my systems, my scaling, whatever that looks like. And then I was like, well, then I need a day that. That is for. Specifically for marketing and showing up and how we. Because we want to be the best case study for our clients. We want them to see what is possible. So I have to give it some love. I have to cultivate that too. So it was like putting that on the calendar. And that also meant, like podcast recording episodes on Wednesdays and things like that. Like that all became part of that. And. And then Fridays was a no nothing day. Like, I don't want any appointments, any meetings, nothing. I want space to breathe. Whether that's catch up or it's read a book for business, or it's just to journal and doodle and like, get my mind in a place where I can be creative, which is what I love to do, is be creative. But if I'm always doing, I can't give myself space to breathe and be creative. So I needed to be intentional about all of those things so that I could show up as my best self. Because if I don't have those things, if I don't have the operations done, and if I don't do the marketing and if I don't do the work for the client, that's going to be a problem. So it was being so much more intentional about how we work, how we show up, how what I can and cannot do, I'm Far more creative in like in I can get a lot of crap done before noon, so I need to be the most productive before noon, you know, so I, I schedule my stuff around that kind of schedule my, my flow and what that looks like. And I don't know why I never thought that was possible. But as I was desperate and feeling like everybody else was dictating my schedule, whether it was my kid, my husband, the army, the, my clients, like I felt like it was a little out of control, you know, like I felt like I was just being swept up in the work and all the things I had to do. Being far more intentional about how I, how I allot my time and my energy and what deserves my time and energy has been huge. Oh, did I lose you again?

A (12:03)

Okay, there we're back. Yeah, yeah. You know, I think we get trained, I think we get trained into. If we work some for someone else, we got to show up at 8 or 9 or whatever time it is. And then when we go on our own, we're so trained to that. Like I, I don't start my calls until 11.

B (12:18)

Okay.

A (12:19)

And, and you know, some days I feel like, you know, I'm at the gym in the morning, I'm taking care of my daughter's homeschooling and this and that. Sometimes I'm like, man, why am I like not working till 11? Like what's going on? But I am working, right? You know, and I'm checking emails and stuff and doing some stuff in the morning, but I'm just not driving to an office that I got to be there at a certain time. And I think we get programmed that way. And, and when we realize that, wait a minute, we can create our own life, our own schedule. As long as we're putting the work in, that's all that matters.

B (12:44)

And does it have to be 40 hours? Does it have to be 9 to 5? Does it have to. How does it show up for you? It doesn't have to be in that construct that was created in post industrial era of men going to work, women at home doing the thing that, that, that is not the world we exist in anymore. Like that is just not what we live in anymore as husbands or as wives. Like that is just not how we can survive and have a life that's fulfilling. I don't believe so.

A (13:10)

Yeah, no, 100%. And you know, you mentioned foster kids and adoption and all that. So that's another thing. When you bring kids in your home that aren't yours and they come from all different Walks of life and different experiences and what have you. What have. What has that taught you?

B (13:25)

There's a lot of trauma in the world. And a lot of times, you know, I used to think that love could solve all the problems, but I'm not of that belief anymore. Maybe it's not as optimistic or naive, but there's a lot of damage we do to children in the world that we live in. And they're kind of the innocent victims of some of the crappiest stuff that we have in the world. And what is most important is security, safety. And yes, love is important, don't get me wrong, that matters. But consistency of how you show up, saying what you're saying, what you're gonna do, because they. So many people have let them down, you know, so you have to like, be a person of your word, listening, paying attention. Because sometimes they go inside themselves and they don't really express outside what they're feeling or struggling with. So paying attention. I'm very observant. It's one of the things, like patterns for me is like my favorite thing because I really feel like I pay attention to people. I think it's just really trying to understand what they're going through and struggling with and asking questions and then shutting up, if you can.

A (14:41)

Yeah. And is it hard when you have a foster child when they have to leave after you've done all the work?

B (14:47)

Yeah, I mean that the. The whole point of foster care is reunification. Like. Like you don't want to keep children from their parents. That would be sick and twisted and not okay. We started fostering because I cannot have children. And so we thought if we could adopt from the system, that would be ideal. My mother was a foster child. My father adopted me. It's like something that's very much a part of our world, my family's world. And I thought, well, that's just natural for us to do that. You know, we had a 10 and 11 year old who had been in 13 homes or something like that, nine schools in five years. I don't care who you are, if you're a child or an adult, that is disabling in ways that you can't even imagine. There was just a lot to it. But I feel like their time with us that like they began with us in like fifth grade. Right. And they had a second grade reading level. When they left, they were at fifth grade reading level. So we helped give them the services they need to really prepare them for the next step of their journey in ways that maybe their homes Couldn't have at the time. So we gave them them are. It requires energy from me because I have to take them to the tutor or I spend time with them reading or I need to take them to the psychologist or I need to take them to their social worker visit or to court sometimes or to visit with mom and dad because that happens too. I, I just feel called to, to, to help, you know, like I, my mom was a nurse, my dad was a teacher, my husband's in the military. Serving is kind of like in my blood. I have a ministry degree as a degree but a certification and I just feel like there's people who need a lot of help and so helping in that season for them was incredibly powerful. But one of the most difficult things I've ever done was to say goodbye to those children. Yeah.

A (16:40)

And are you allowed to stay in touch with them afterwards?

B (16:42)

You're, you're not supposed to because of hipaa. There's all kinds of like raw, you know, rules and stuff like that. But one of the children found me on Facebook so he's reached out to me as an adult and I've been able to stay in contact with him and he's doing really well. So you do? Yes, a little bit. And like I had found out from the social worker he had been adopted afterwards by kind of a strange way, but I found out he would get adopted so I felt so much better that he was in a safe, secure environment. That is the ultimate goal for these children no matter what. So. Well, it's difficult. You, you know the adage if you love something you have to let it go in some ways. Right. And just hope that it comes back when it's supposed to. But yeah, he has reached out to me, we talk a little bit but you know, he has, he has a lot of, a lot and I remind him of a lot of that time, I believe. So I feel like it's not always like necessarily a positive thing. Yes, I helped him and yes I got him to the next point place, the next stop on his visit or his road of life. But it, that's a challenging time for 11 year old to have to deal with all of that. And I don't, I'm not sure he does something that he really thinks back fondly. Well, well, I do look back and am very fond of our time. I had come from it from a very different angle than he I think existed inside of that.

A (18:06)

Yeah. And you know, when is there, is there a common time that takes for them to get settled in with You.

B (18:15)

So I've had four foster children and only two of them were older. The other two were littles. They. One of them was three months old. And then Zeke, the one we adopted, was two days old when he came to us. I believe that even with a two day old, you know, I didn't sound like mom, I didn't smell like mom, I didn't like. It was, you know, all new to him. I would say probably, you know, as a new parent, it's already really, really hard of a baby. So you have like that adjustment too as an adult, you know, like to have to. Yeah, you know, I think probably three months is probably for every single one of them. Was kind of a turning point of, okay, there's a system now, we have a schedule, we kind of know what's happening. There's some predictability in this, probably about three months. But when you have trauma as children. One of the children we had to hide our knives like it was. It's. It's not, it's not, it's all. Not all roses. It can be really challenging and something can trigger it. So we would have like a really great weekend away. We went to the Biltmore, for example, we're in North Carolina and had this amazing weekend away as like a family. And that caused the, the young lady we had, the 10 year old to like have a whole episode of like trying to sabotage it because she doesn't know what happiness is. So instability and like memories and joy in this way. And so it's uncomfortable to her. So she would try to like sabotage those moments. So for her, she'd have this really amazing weekend and we'd all be like really excited. And then she would like have a lot of outbursts and issues after that as a fallout of this consistency and this, this normal family experience of a family vacation, which to her was just not normal. So I don't know if there's ever like they were with us for almost a year and I would say, you know, we obviously learned each other, so it became better over time. But there's not really a moment. I don't think that they ever really believe they're gonna stay. After you've been in 13 homes or so, there's always a doubt of what's gonna happen next. And sure enough, like, they moved on. Right. So they weren't wrong in what happened. So I. It's very complex, Mike. We could have a whole show about adoption in foster care.

A (20:33)

Well, well, when they move on and they like 13 homes, for example, is it that it's like, you know how some people get a puppy or a cat and then they're just like, ah, and they take it back to the shelter because they can't handle it. Is that what happens when there's 13?

B (20:44)

Sometimes, sometimes they take them, put back and put them in their homes, their biological homes, and they get moved, removed again. And that could happen several times. Right. So if the parent doesn't do what they're supposed to be doing, the social worker goes and sees the house as a mess, or maybe the. They're high or whatever the case may be, they have to remove the kids. So. And that other foster home probably has other foster kids now, so they don't have the space to put them back in that same foster home. So a lot of it is that it's just simply the logistics of like, who's available at the time to take these children, who's been certified and all of that, and where they're at in their journey as foster parents too. Like sometimes, like we adopted our youngest and when we adopted him, we closed our home to foster care for a while. So like, we weren't even available for any of those kids to come back to us. So there's just a lot of, a lot of extenuating circumstances with that that can complicate it. And plus you have like the foster care system, you have the mental health system, you have like, there's a lot of competing systems that just don't always talk to each other or act nice sometimes with each other.

A (21:46)

Yeah. And the other thing is. Did I hear you say you were, you were in a foster. You were adopted by your dads? What was that?

B (21:53)

My mom?

A (21:54)

Because I remember the show when I was growing up. I remember showing my two dads.

B (21:58)

Yeah, yeah. I have a mom and a dad, but my mom was my biological mom. But she was adopted. She was put in foster care when she was three. She was put in an orphanage, taken from by the government because her mom and couldn't afford. They couldn't afford those children. They lived in a very. Not no indoor plumbing. Like, it was a very interesting situation. So she was adopted into a home that actually wasn't that great and ended up running away from home, all kinds of things. Ended up in foster care again when she was like 17. And obviously seeing my mom's story, hearing her story is amazing. So then she had me. And when she, when she had me, my biological father wasn't the greatest guy because I think she kind of left one situation into another situation. And so she left him when I was 2, and he was never really in my life after that. So my stepdad and my mom met when I was about three and they got married. And when I was six, he adopted me, and my name changed. Like, I went to school one day and they changed. My placard on my desk went from Beverly Bradley to Beverly Cornell. And I remember the little kid next to me saying, did you get married? I was like, no, I was adopted. They're like, what do you mean? Like, you don't. I thought your mom. Like, they didn't understand. And I was really hard to explain that. Like, my mom was my mom, but my dad was my stepdad who adopted me. And so being that I was six, like, I knew what was happening. So we always talked about adoption kind of freely in my home because I was so much older. And it was a choice. Like, I got to decide whether I wanted him to adopt me or not. Like, he asked me, I would like to adopt you. And it was very special. And so that was a whole thing. And then when I got married, my husband had a son from his first marriage, so I became a stepmom. And that was really natural for me because of my stepfather who became my. My dad. Like, I had seen such a wonderful model of someone who just loved me no matter what. And when we wanted to have children of our own and I couldn't have a child, it was like, of course we need to adopt a child. Like, that just makes the most sense for our journey. I feel like we are prepared for that because I've experienced so much of that. And so I joke. Like, I joke, but it's not really funny. But my mom's adopted, I was adopted, and then my son is adopted. Like, three generations of adoption, but all different. One was taken, one was, like, asked and given, and one was a gift, you know, in some ways, like, wanted so desperately. So it's just a really interesting journey of how, like, to me, relationships aren't about necessarily, like, blood or like some kind of construct that the world has created. It's about what we make of it, the environment that we create. It's like the cultivation of these relationships have been so incredibly important to me and how I've shown up in them in all kinds of ways, you know? So it. My identity is so differently formed, I feel, because of those relationships I've seen and had and experienced of what love is, what friendship is, what it means to really show up for somebody. You can be a dad, you can be a father, but it Takes a lot to be a dad, right? Like you can father a bunch of children, but to be a dad. And what that looks like to me is so different because of my experience.

A (25:02)

So yeah, 100. And then discipline wise, like the older kids that came in you, you want them to be feeling welcomed and loved and everything, but you have to also instill discipline and boundaries. Right.

B (25:14)

It's so hard because you're not their parent. And you know, when you, when you become a foster parent, you are given like parenting classes, which is, it's interesting and not interesting. Like anyone can be a parent, right. But they're not going to get been given any parenting classes. When you, most people become parents, they've not had one parenting class. Maybe like a Lamaze class or something, but not parenting classes classes. And so we took weeks of parenting classes, Mike. And like I am certified in bloodborne pathogens and medication safety and the fire department's been to my home and approved it. Like everyone used to joke, if you want someone to watch your kids, it's going to be us because we've been fingerprinted every which way as possible and done all these classes and no CPR and all the things. So you have a different way of, of disciplining. For sure. You have rules and you can take away and there's consequences and all those things. But you do have to parent them differently. You know, we could never ever smack one of those children was when we were growing up, we were, you know, sweat on the butt if we did something wrong. You cannot lay hands on them like that. The only reason why you could lay hands on them is to protect them for some, for some reason, like if they were being dangerous or something. But. So there is a lot of, of constraints. But I think it makes you a better parent because you don't just react, you think before you say you are more thoughtful about how you approach the issue and the concern you have. And I feel like the pause of that is super powerful and can make you, I really believe, like a better person in general. If you're like more thoughtful about how you react to some situation as opposed to just whatever you've been learned or conditioned to do, you do it. So I feel like yes, there's discipline, but it's, it's very different than when the way I grew up anyway.

A (27:12)

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I agree. All right, as we wind down here, I want to touch on how you work with people. Like if somebody comes to you, what can they expect?

B (27:18)

We always start with the brand spark experience that that brand therapy session where we dive. I ask a mountain of questions to understand. Really a lot of times as solopreneurs, we have so much in our brain running around over and over again, and no one really listens to us. Our spouses don't even really know all the things we do in our business. It's it. We as solopreneurs often carry a lot. So we kind of extract all of that, get it on paper for them. What are their core values? What is their mission? How do they show up? What are those stories in their life that have been the most powerful to them and have really shaped who they are? What are they made of, like what you guys talk about? And those are all things that inform how they show up in their business and how they show up with their clients, really understanding their differentiators and who would be perfect for them as the guide? Like, who would really need those stories? Who would really need that connection with them? I really strongly believe in narrative resonance. Your story connects with people and there's somebody out there who has a story that needs you, whatever that looks like. So really understanding your story. And then from there, we create a brand magic blueprint. So we awaken your brand magic. We put it on paper and show it to you for the first time. And so many times people see what's possible for the first time because it's, it's, it's real. Then somebody saw this in me. It's very aspirational, it's very inspirational. It's very claiming of your power in a certain way. And then we give them the best four to six, six best steps to get them to their vision from a marketing and branding standpoint. We sometimes give them some other feedback or tidbits on leadership or something like that as well if we see an opportunity. And then from there we work with our branding night super intensive. We, we build everything in, in four to six weeks. We brand logo, website, whatever you need that we find in the blueprint that you need. And then we very collaborative, collaboratively spend a day with you going through everything. And by the end of the day, you literally have a brand, a website that's alive. So our clients have a lot of trust in us, which is amazing because we build them what they, we think they need, and then through that day, we make adjustments and make sure it's what they feel good about, and then we launch it. So many times I see people who are founders and they're growing get in their own way of how they show up in branding and marketing. They overthink it. They're perfectionists. They have imposter syndrome. They have fear, they have doubt. They have all these things that show up, and if we don't kind of get them there, they'll never get there. So we. It's tough love in some ways, but it's like, hey, we know you need this. We're gonna get you there. At the end of the day, it's a little bit scary, but also super exciting. And it's. It's very validating to them to then at the end of the day say, oh, my gosh, like, I have this, like, went from, like, a freelancer kind of feel to now I have a legit business that looks like I could attract the best customers possible. That's how we love to work. And so it's really unique in the sense of, like, we're not gonna say, oh, you need a newsletter and a social media. You need to be here, you need to be there. No, start with your story, where you are, the vision you have for the business, and then what do you actually need to show up as the person you're becoming, but also give you room to grow into that new legacy you're building as a brand.

A (30:34)

Love it. Love it. So where can people go deeper with you if they're interested?

B (30:37)

Branded on any social platform? Wickedlybranded.com Plus I have my own podcast where we talk a lot about these things, these exact situations that. That these founders are facing called marketing magic in the messy middle. And, you know, if you're kind of feeling overwhelmed or you're feeling like you're almost over it, because it's just a lot, it might be a great place for you to just connect and see you're not alone in your journey. Everyone has similar experiences. And then we have an awesome newsletter that talks about all these different things of, like, you know, cognitive load and legacy load and the should suitcase and all these different things that we carry as founders right now that could be helpful at naming what's happening to you and show. Showing you that it's not you, it's the system that we're existing in. And then how you can show up within that system that really gives you permission to be fully yourself.

A (31:30)

Yeah, you know, you spoke about this earlier in the show is just, we gotta ask for help. So you shouldn't sit in that, because then you become the reason that you your own way. So for those out there that are in that. And she's speaking to you, make sure you reach out to Beverly and ask for help. Beverly, thank you so much for your

B (31:48)

time today so fast. Mike, thank you so much.

A (31:52)

My pleasure. All right, hang tight. Well, I'll wrap this up, folks. That's this episode of the what do you Made of Show, with your boy C. Rock here and Beverly Cornell sharing what she's made of. Make sure you hit the subscribe or follow button at the top of your favorite podcast platform and keep coming back. And until next time, be that one.