Meet Joe Opio - My Favorite People

Summary

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What Now? with Trevor Noah

Episode: "Meet Joe Opio – My Favorite People"

Date: December 18, 2025
Guests: Joseph Opio (Ugandan standup, writer on The Daily Show), Eugene, Unidentified Female Friend
Host: Trevor Noah

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Overview

In this episode, Trevor Noah invites his longtime friend and Daily Show writing collaborator Joseph Opio to hang out, reminisce, and answer probing, playful questions about culture, attitude, friendship, and life as an expatriate African in America. The conversation ranges from hilarious culture clashes to profound lessons on happiness, humility, and living authentically, with regular interruptions by friends who keep the dynamic loose, unscripted, and very genuine.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Joe Opio Is One of Trevor Noah’s “Favorite People”

• Spontaneity & Friendship: Trevor planned a relaxed hangout with Joe, but their friend Eugene's arrival turns it into an impromptu group session—showcasing the unscripted vibe that defines the podcast.
• Joe’s “Alien” Positivity: Trevor and Eugene remark on never seeing Joe moody or upset. Joe attributes this to being aware of his privilege, always “counting his blessings,” and not sweating small stuff.
  • "I'm always like counting my blessings. Everything that has happened to me is way better than my craziest dreams.” – Joe (1:26:30)

2. From Uganda to NYC: Joe’s Unlikely Comic Journey

• Comic Career Genesis: Joe describes being a lawyer in Uganda, loving standup, then uprooting his life—first to South Africa, then NYC—to pursue comedy.
• Breaking into the US Scene:
  • Joe’s first nights at the Comedy Cellar—waiting for the booker, talking his way into a spot, being comped food as an unknown African comic, and then notoriously giving Louis C.K. notes backstage.
  • “I give Louis C.K. a note... and everyone loses their mind. They go like, yo, there's this African who gave Louis C.K. the Louis C.K.!” – Joe (0:45:32)
• Meeting Trevor Noah: Trevor recounts getting multiple messages: “There’s an African at the Cellar, is he yours?” illustrating the tight-knit yet othering dynamic for Africans in US comedy.

3. Joe’s Wide Tastes & Cultural Adaptability

• Ugandan Roots, Global Tastes:
  • Joe credits the necessity of consuming “everything available” in Uganda—books, movies, music from around the world—resulting in both obscure and universal pop culture references.
  • "A bad movie can have a great scene, the same way a great movie can have some bad scenes in it." – Joe (0:12:20)
  • The surreal popularity of random movies ("Baby's Day Out") over global blockbusters in Uganda and other countries is discussed as an example of cultural variance.
• Language & 'Swordfishing':
  • They riff on how South Africans, Indians, and others code-switch on Twitter—starting a sentence in English, ending in another language—leaving others confused.
  • “To ‘Swordfish’ someone: to just bring up the most random instance. Nobody knows Swordfish!” – Trevor (0:8:42)

4. Navigating Social Norms & Culture Shock in America

• Accent & Self-Perception: Joe never knew he had an accent until leaving Uganda.
  • “When I speak, I sound like Hugh Grant right now!” – Joe (0:14:03)
  • Trevor affirms Joe’s astonishing English vocabulary and writing skill despite this.
• Cultural Clashes:
  • Joe grabs, lifts, and plays with a stranger’s kid in a NYC park, panic among the (white) parents ensues—a scene both hilarious and revealing of unspoken rules.
  • Joe explains: “In Uganda, that wouldn’t be weird. Babies are babies. They love it when you throw them!” (0:59:44)
  • Similarly, Joe describes approaching subway cops directly—taboo for Black Americans, not remotely for a Ugandan.

5. Joe’s Attitude Toward Life, Stress, and Sleep

• Not Sweating the Small Stuff: Joe doesn’t waste energy on minor annoyances or perceived slights, e.g., people being late, others’ opinions, misplaced anger online.
  • “You are complaining and bitching about a bird shitting on your Ferrari—but you have a Ferrari!” – Joe (1:93:51)
• Trust in Family: His siblings can access his money, but, “If they steal it, they must really need it.”
• Approach to Sleep:
  • Joe claims to sleep only 3 hours a night—deliberately, to experience more life. He sets hourly alarms to savor waking up and realizing he has “more time.”
  • "What you enjoy is the promise of sleep." (1:77:17)
  • Trevor and others describe him as built differently—“alien”—with an unusual ability to thrive on so little rest.
• On Happiness:
  • “When people complain about things, oh, this is not working out, my life, everything is working out. Literally. I walked into the Comedy Cellar, got a chance to perform. I walked into [the Daily] Show, got a chance to meet them.” (1:68:00)
  • Joe’s joy persists regardless of circumstance. “If the Daily Show is taken away, I was me without it. If America is gone, I was dope before.” (1:84:01)

6. Authenticity and Self-Worth

• No Impostor Syndrome:
  • Joe doesn’t worry if others see him as less skilled or smart. “I feel like I belong in the room because I’m in the room.”
  • “You have the opposite of impostor syndrome,” Trevor observes.
• On Dating and Clothes:
  • Why dress up for dates? “If you're gonna go on a date as your best self...then turn into your real self, how can you blame [someone] when they stop liking you?” (1:99:02)
  • “I have so much aura, I don't need to add aura. If I add too much aura now with clothes... Trevor has no chance!”

7. Deep-Dive: The “Cruises” Obsession

• Cruise Ship Record:
  • Joe has taken more than 25 cruises since 2016, often as the only young, Black passenger at special captains’ receptions.
  • “When you have a Ugandan passport, every airport you go to, you’re almost taken to a corner...But many cruises, you can visit multiple countries without the visa stress.” (1:110:22)
• Finding What Works & Sticking With It:
  • Be it cruise ships or Indian food, Joe reiterates, “If I find something I enjoy, I do that thing and I’ll do it... Why should I try to have found the thing that works for me?”

8. Uganda’s Outsized Place in Global Events

• Uganda as unlikely “Forest Gump” of world affairs—hosting Mandela and ANC activists, nearly becoming the Jewish homeland post-WWII, playing key roles in international incidents like the Entebbe raid.
• Joe on national identity: “I always think Uganda is the Forest Gump of international global relations. We’re always in the middle, but we’re so small.” (2:124:00)

9. Friendship, Loyalty, & Generosity

• Mutual Uplift:
  • Joe describes how Trevor’s support changed his life; Trevor in turn credits Joe’s wisdom for helping him through the hardest days at The Daily Show.
  • Joe recalls Trevor telling him, “If it doesn’t work out, promise me we’ll always be friends.” (2:129:38)
  • Both men are lauded by friends for their non-transactional loyalty and inability to keep score in relationships.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“To 'Swordfish' someone is to just bring up the most random instance. Nobody knows Swordfish!”
– Trevor Noah (08:42)

“I'm always like counting my blessings. Everything that has happened to me is way better than my craziest dreams.”
– Joe Opio (126:30)

“…You are complaining and bitching about a bird shitting on your Ferrari – but you have a Ferrari! ...How many other people would rather have that Ferrari with a bird poo?”
– Joe Opio (93:51)

“If you’re going to go on a date as your best self…and then turn into your real self, how can you blame them when they stop liking you?”
– Joe Opio (99:02)

“If you can buy two [ice creams] and not flinch, then buy one.”
– Trevor’s friend, cited by Trevor (134:17)

“I’m a Ugandan. Think about it…I’m working at The Daily Show. How many Ugandans get to do that? I don’t sweat the little stuff.”
– Joe Opio (68:25)

“I've never seen you depressed, sad, angry, all the, like, whatever we call them, like, neg. And not in, like, a fake way, by the way…It's like a state of being.”
– Trevor Noah to Joe (67:58)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:57 - Trevor’s introduction of Joseph Opio; Table tennis and hangout dynamic
• 06:48 - Pressure of paying for a date and referencing “Swordfish” (hacking scene)
• 10:00 - Joe’s unusual cultural & intellectual range
• 14:03 - Accent, self-perception, and writing
• 18:26 - Organic food confusion & culture shocks in America
• 22:52 - Mistaken for a child soldier from “Beasts of No Nation”
• 31:03 - South African code-switching on Twitter; language and identity
• 45:32 - Joe giving Louis CK comedy notes at the Comedy Cellar
• 59:44 - Joe grabbing and playing with a random baby in a NYC park
• 68:00 - Joe’s life philosophy: always “hashtag winning”
• 77:17 - Joe’s sleep strategy: waking up every hour to enjoy knowing there’s more sleep/time
• 84:01 - On happiness despite losing jobs, money, or status
• 93:51 - “Bird on a Ferrari” analogy and not sweating small stuff
• 99:02 - Thoughts on authenticity, dating, and self-acceptance
• 110:22 - Joe’s cruise obsession; escaping visa hassles
• 124:00 - Uganda’s surprisingly pivotal role in world history

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Conclusion

This episode is a masterclass in cross-cultural friendship, resilience, and perspective. It blends unfiltered humor with insightful conversation, highlighting how attitude, humility, and authenticity shape life far more than circumstance. Whether discussing comedy, migration, language, or why not to dress up for a date, Joe Opio stands out as a unique—perhaps alien—presence in Trevor’s orbit, and the show’s warmth and candor are a testament to their bond.

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Transcript

[Trevor Noah]

I will apologize on behalf of South Africans. Then to you as a fellow African. Yeah, as a fellow African, we didn't mean to leave you in the dust. We're not trying to do this intentionally. However, your beef is misplaced, because when we listened to Sean Paul, okay, and other, like, reggae raga artists and all of that dance hall and all of those vibes, those guys would switch things up in the middle of a sentence.

[Joseph Opio]

We.

[Trevor Noah]

What did we say?

[Joseph Opio]

I'll say this.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

No, no, no, no.

[Joseph Opio]

I'll say this to.

[Trevor Noah]

Just give me the.

[Joseph Opio]

Like I'll say. If you listen. If you listen to. If you listen to reggae, Right?

[Trevor Noah]

Let me tell you something.

[Joseph Opio]

Eugene. That's what I'm saying. But you brought me in with no one listen. No, but no one just.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, give.

[Joseph Opio]

You listen for the blub. You listen for the beats.

[Trevor Noah]

This is what now with Trevor Noah. This episode is a paid partnership with Apple Card. Did you know Apple Card is the only credit card designed for iPhone? That's right. It lives on your iPhone in the wallet app. And you get daily cash back on every purchase. And because fees don't help, you get, Apple Card doesn't have any. So if your credit card isn't Apple Card, maybe it should be subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 17.74% to 27.99% based on creditworthiness rates as of November 1, 2025. Existing customers can view their variable APR in the Wallet app [e-mail] terms and [e-mail] this message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. Imagine this. You're at a checkout counter. You're ready to pay when you realize you don't have your wallet.

[Joseph Opio]

Dun, dun, dun.

[Trevor Noah]

You could drive all the way back home and you could get it. But you remember that you have your Apple card on your iPhone so you can tap to pay with Apple Pay. Imagine that. No need to carry a wallet. But, you know, one of the things I do like about having my card on my phone is we live in a world where you lose your card and then you don't know where it is. And then you're like, what do I do? Well, if your phone is connected to your card and your card is connected to your phone, you know what's going on. The best thing about having the Apple Card connected to your phone is, you know what every transaction is. You know, like, sometimes you're like, what did I spend this month? The Apple card will show you one month. I had spent an obscene amount of money ordering videos online.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Just videos?

[Trevor Noah]

They were just videos.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

What kind of videos?

[Trevor Noah]

That's not the point. The point is, I knew that I didn't want to order those videos anymore because I'd spent too much money on it. It was videos on how to not spend money online.

[Joseph Opio]

I felt like I'd been duped.

[Trevor Noah]

Point is, Apple showed me what I was spending my money on, and I was able to change my spending habits. And you can do it, too. I earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase with my Apple card. That's unlimited daily cash back no matter where I shop. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone. Subject to cred approval. Apple card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch terms and [e-mail] hi, everyone.

[Joseph Opio]

I'm Ashley Flowers, creator and host of Crime Junkie, the go to crime podcast.

[Katie Nolan]

For the biggest cases and the stories you won't hear anywhere else.

[Joseph Opio]

So whether on your commute, studying, or while you work, let us keep you company.

[Katie Nolan]

With new episodes every Monday, it is.

[Joseph Opio]

Truly a crime junkie's dream.

[Katie Nolan]

So join me, my best friend Britt.

[Joseph Opio]

And our entire crime junkie community right now by catching up on hundreds of episodes and by listening to a new.

[Katie Nolan]

Case every Monday on Crime Junkie, available wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Trevor Noah]

Today the goal was to hang out with Joseph Opio, one of my favorite people. This guy right here, Ugandan, honorary South African fellow, Daily show writer, co conspirator, standup comedian, sports enthusiast, a football buff. That was my goal today, was to hang out with him. Okay. Then what happened was. Then what happened was you came out of nowhere, okay? Which is a wonderful blessing, but you came out of nowhere because it was another friend's birthday.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

With the plastic bag.

[Trevor Noah]

You came with a plastic bag full of zero percent alcohol.

[Eugene]

It's hard to get zero percent Guinness.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. So you came with zero, which is like. It was hard to carry it, which is like. It's the ultimate, like, paradox.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

It's like someone who's like, I came for the party, but I don't like parties.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

So that's when you came. Now, because we all roll together, we are in this thing. So now I'll answer your question. So it's not an interview. I just wanted to hang out with Joe. Right.

[Eugene]

Why are there cameras? And why. Because you could have just. You assume he's one of your favorite people.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Eugene]

So I assume that up until this Point. You've hung out.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Cool.

[Eugene]

Now you decided to hang out. Are you going to hang, like.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, so now let me ask you.

[Eugene]

Can we play table tennis now? Let's play some table tennis.

[Trevor Noah]

Let me. I don't have a table. If there was table tennis, we could.

[Eugene]

Play because we have to do the interview.

[Trevor Noah]

If there was table. No, actually, if there was table tennis, we could do it. Let me answer your question this way. Why do you make a sex tape? Because people have sex. People have sex?

[Joseph Opio]

No, because you want to watch back the tape.

[Trevor Noah]

Thank you. You want to have something for posterity. So you have sex already, and then sometimes you go, you know what?

[Joseph Opio]

Let's record this sometimes.

[Trevor Noah]

So I hope that answers some of your question now.

[Eugene]

Doesn't answer some of my question.

[Trevor Noah]

It does. You said, why are there cameras? Sometimes you want to record it.

[Eugene]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

You want to record the thing that you do. So what I was going back to was we were talking about food. This. This is like one of the perfect moments where you go, like, this is why Joseph Opiah is one of my favorite people. We were talking about food and the swag you have in a restaurant when you no longer have, like, if the menu, all the prices are something you can easily afford, there's like, there's nothing. So I was saying, remember the first time you didn't have to calculate because remember there was a moment where you'd order and you'd be like. They'd be like, what would you like? And then you knew what you liked. But what you were actually trying to think of was, how do I. How do I add 35 to 47?

[Joseph Opio]

The first time you didn't have. That was a canon event. Exactly.

[Eugene]

It's also same as the first time you filled up the tank without.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes, yes, yes, exactly.

[Trevor Noah]

It's in that same. Yes. Where you just go, fill it up.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Just fill it up.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. So now we were talking about this, and then Joe was saying, oh, man, there's no greater pressure than having to calculate the amount of money that a date is going to cost you when the date is sitting opposite in real time. Then he said, ah, it reminds me of that scene from Swordfish.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Eugene]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Then I went, what? Because I was like, who uses swordfish as a reference. Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

For making a decision. Yes. No, no, no.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Joe.

[Trevor Noah]

Joe.

[Joseph Opio]

It's an iconic scene, Joe. It's the ultimate scene.

[Trevor Noah]

Swordfish.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. If you're thinking of making a decision under so much pressure, my friend, he had a gun to his head. He had to hack into this System. And then he had a woman giving him head. Yeah. Yes. No, guys, that's why it's an iconic. You left that part out all along. We were fighting about guns. People say, yes, guns are common. He didn't let me, like, set up the thing.

[Trevor Noah]

That's not what I'm saying.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes.

[Eugene]

No.

[Joseph Opio]

Hugh Jackman is a hacker. John Provot has a gun to his head getting a blowjob.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

And he had. That's iconic. I had, like a minute to hack into the system.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

The pressure was, you know. Okay, you know, I was saying.

[Trevor Noah]

You're not understanding what I'm saying.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm not saying that your choice of scene is incorrect.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm saying I have never in my life heard somebody go to swordfish for. I've heard people say Mission Impossible. Pressure. Action. I've heard people say the Matrix.

[Eugene]

Action.

[Trevor Noah]

I've heard people go, Titanic. I've heard people go, who in Titanic.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Was under the most.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, no. What I'm saying is, like, there are movies.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

That are generally thought of as the go to for, like, an example or for an idea. Oh, you've been red pilled. It's from the Matrix. You get what I'm saying?

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Oh, I thought it was from vaccines.

[Trevor Noah]

No, bruh, she came from the Matrix.

[Joseph Opio]

From the Matrix. Yeah. It got corrupted by the.

[Trevor Noah]

Exactly. But that's right.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. But the. Now I'm thinking you should change the people you hang out with. These people are not cultured. You should change your favorite people if they can't make.

[Trevor Noah]

No, but you're my favorite people. And here you are. Here you are swordfishing me. In fact, that's what I'm gonna use it as now, from now on.

[Joseph Opio]

Swordfish.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm gonna say, someone swordfished me.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

And then they're gonna go, what does that mean? And I'm gonna say to swordfish, somebody is to just bring up the most random instance. Yo, nobody knows swordfish.

[Joseph Opio]

Do you know swordfish?

[Trevor Noah]

Do you remember swordfish? Wait, wait, wait. Okay, let's ask the man off camera of culture.

[Eugene]

I, I. You could use swordfish. You could use was Hugh Jackman in Swordfish? As a trivia question. And people would be for the 500,000 and who wants to Be Millionaire? And we'd be like, that's a good question. Nobody knows.

[Joseph Opio]

No one knows that because we're not cultured. Yeah. I'm a man of culture. I'm a gentleman and a scholar, and I watch both prestige movies and, you know, I don't the Thing is, it's the scene that comes to mind. There's no other scene. Tell me of any other scene. Actually, it's also the only scene that's memorable from the movie where Hugh Jackman.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Gets a blowjob ever in his career while hacking.

[Joseph Opio]

It's the context. And having a gun to his head.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

And he's got 60 seconds.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, you're the worst.

[Joseph Opio]

No, wait. Once I gave it context, though, Eugene was on board.

[Trevor Noah]

Eugene is just an agent of chaos. That's what Eugene is.

[Joseph Opio]

Provocateur.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, that's exactly what you.

[Joseph Opio]

Are we speaking French now? Culture, actually.

[Trevor Noah]

That's. I've always wanted to know that about you. Like, how do you think you found that balance as a person? Because, like, you, you have one of the strangest balances of. Of probably any human being that I know. And what I mean by this is there are a lot of people who will only watch, like, swordfish type movies, right? And then there'll be people who immerse themselves in just, like, the densest literature and, you know, writings and books and blah, blah, blah. Political. You know what I mean?

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

You name it. Political forays and this and that and this. You have the broadest taste.

[Eugene]

And is this question to Joe or to me?

[Trevor Noah]

No, to Joe.

[Joseph Opio]

You don't have broad taste at all. Yeah, yours is very niche.

[Trevor Noah]

You don't have broad taste at all. This guy.

[Joseph Opio]

Deb is so niche, sometimes it comes off as pretentious.

[Trevor Noah]

This is. Can I tell you, this is going to be the weirdest podcast, because people are going to go, like, what? What is that other person? And then I don't even know how we explain it. So if you're watching or listening to this, you're going, what is happening? I'll tell you what's happening. There's a Ugandan here. Then there's another Ugandan who's also a South African, and. But he's not with us here now.

[Joseph Opio]

You make it seem like it's Chained Migration. I came for this podcast and I brought a Ugandan context.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. That's what it feels. That's what it feels like. It feels like we. We have, like, a spirit that's connected to.

[Joseph Opio]

From the beyond.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. It's like if we can't see him, you can hear his voice.

[Trevor Noah]

If we get you all. If we get, like, one more, we get Zoran Mamdani as well.

[Joseph Opio]

And then.

[Eugene]

So.

[Trevor Noah]

So the reason is. I'll tell you why it's not a question to you is because you are not. You are not broad at all.

[Eugene]

No. Only because I have the answer of him. Yes. No.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

First I want to hear his answer. Then I want to see what you.

[Eugene]

Okay.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay. So give your answer for me. I don't think I made it deliberate. I don't want to be put in a box, if that makes sense.

[Trevor Noah]

So you'll purposely watch a tv.

[Joseph Opio]

No, no, no. That's what I'm saying. I don't think I made the deliberate choice.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, got it.

[Joseph Opio]

Because I think, like, art in its very nature or, like, things can be appreciated regardless of the. Can we say, standard of quality. Like, so Swordfish. Not the greatest movie in the world.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

But it had its moments. It's complex, almost artists. It's almost like people, if that makes sense.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

People can be appreciated because they have different. They bring different nuances to everything. So a bad movie can have a great scene, the same way a great movie can have some bad scenes in it. So when I watch or when I'm reading, like, books, I would read, like, the most. You know what you'd call, like, smart books. Cause they have great moments. And then I would read, like, trashy novels. I would go, like, on vacation, and I would read, like, something. Yes. No.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Joseph Opio]

Not exactly Mills Unborn. But it did have its moments when we were still teenagers. But I'm saying I don't have, like, exclusive.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Joe, I know you're becoming very profound here, but you read Mills and Boone as a teenager.

[Trevor Noah]

This guy's done everything. You're gonna understand by the end of this conversation why this guy's one of my favorite people. This man has done every. Let me tell you one of my favorite stories. But before I do, Dave, what was your answer gonna be for him? Is it the same as no?

[Eugene]

It's because you come from Uganda.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay?

[Eugene]

As we know. So in terms of.

[Trevor Noah]

Sorry to interrupt you. I'm just gonna call this whole podcast. Pardon interruption. Sorry to interrupt you. Can I just say what's really. What sounds funny is it almost feels like because, you know, you've got a thick accent.

[Joseph Opio]

It almost. Why, though? That's the question. See, no, every time people say that, I go, like, why, though?

[Trevor Noah]

Cause.

[Joseph Opio]

No, no, no, no, no. Can I explain? Can I explain? Okay, so I didn't know I had an accent till I left Uganda because everyone in Uganda sounded like this.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, no, no, that's true.

[Joseph Opio]

So then I come to America, I go to South Africa, and people go like, you have an accent. And I'm like, no, you have an accent.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

You're not wrong.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. Because in my mind, when I speak, I sound like. I sound like Hugh Grant right now. When I'm. When I'm talking, in fact.

[Eugene]

Right.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Like you should go to Uganda and hear those.

[Trevor Noah]

No, when I'm talking right now, I sound like Hugh Grant.

[Joseph Opio]

Sound like.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

I sound like an English aristocrat.

[Trevor Noah]

No. And can I tell you something? If I've seen your. So. So I've seen your writing, and we'll go through this in stages, so I'll actually. We'll get back to the story, but in writing. Because this man sitting here has a vocabulary that surpasses any human being I've met in my life. Like, personally, person that I know, I don't know everyone in the world. This guy here, if I'm looking for a word, searching for a sentence, trying to fix grammar or structure, this person here knows more about the English language than anyone I've ever met. Right, So I get what you're saying. When you. Right now, what you. What we heard was you. And then what you heard on the mic was you going, I don't understand why anybody thinks I have an accent.

[Joseph Opio]

In fact.

[Trevor Noah]

In fact, when you. When you think about swordfish, when you think about swordfish, in my mind.

[Joseph Opio]

In my mind, let me tell you.

[Trevor Noah]

Let me tell you.

[Joseph Opio]

The first thing is when I had.

[Trevor Noah]

The funny thing is when I.

[Joseph Opio]

Because Trevor does impressions. Because Impressions. Impressions of people. So Trevor used to go like, I'm going to. This is. Then Joe said this. Then Trevor would do an impression of me, and then I'd go like, who is that guy? Because I'd go like, oh, that guy sounds. That guy sounds weird. Oh, God. Because in my mind, I'd be like, no, I don't sound like that. Yes, Every time. Every time Trevor does you, he goes like, oh, I'm going to do. No, he does that. He goes. So then Kiboka said, trevor doesn't do it like normal people because you go like, oh. And then. And we go like. And then Eugene said this. And then we said, Trevor does you. He goes like. And then Jose. Then you do my. And I go like, hold on, I'm going, wait, who is that Weird? Why does it sound like that? Because in my mind, I don't. Can I tell you.

[Trevor Noah]

Can I tell you what's so funny to me right now is the idea of this happening for the first time. Because now to you, it seems like a crazy concept, but now imagine if you were hanging out with Hugh Grant, right? And then you were telling a Story about Hugh Grant. And then you go like, ah, man, Hugh, you're such a funny guy. You're such a funny guy. Like, I remember. And then Hugh Grant was like, what? What are you talking about?

[Joseph Opio]

What?

[Trevor Noah]

What did I do? And then you go like, oh, I'll tell you what. I was. I was at Subway with Hugh Grant. And then I go like, which bread do you want? And then Hugh turns to me, and then he's like, I'll tell you which bread I want. That's like, basically what you saying I did to you.

[Joseph Opio]

That's every time I would go like, I don't know who this guy is, but I also don't understand what. Like, I would go like, this guy sounds weird.

[Trevor Noah]

So now what I'm. What I'm saying is. Yeah. At least you've seen it in practice, though, in America, obviously, everyone has an accent when they're speaking another language, if they're in another place. We all come from countries where second language is a thing. Right. So. But what I'm saying is funny now is I knew your accent was thick, so I knew. For the video side of the podcast, I was like, this is gonna be dope. Then I was like, on the audio side, I was like, can you do subtitles for audio? I didn't know if you could right then. Now it almost feels like you. Dave came to be his title. Yeah. No, no, but to be like his. Like, yeah, but like, almost, because. Okay, Joe gave his answer. I was like, joe, why do you have such broad taste? He gave his answer. Then Dave goes, no, let me tell you what it is. So, yeah, tell us. So you're saying.

[Eugene]

Because it. It all depends on when you first start sort of like living. You're. You have a range of experience that's offered to you just as a person. If you live in Saudi Arabia, most likely you don't know about cold temperatures.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Eugene]

Because you just weren't born in cold temperatures. You know, if you live in New York City, you know, Four Seasons, that kind of thing. Right. So Joe, coming from Uganda, the Third world, he knows their various things. For example, food. He knows food can come from a restaurant.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Eugene]

It can come from a grocery store.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Eugene]

It can come from a farm. But it can also come from the sky. You know, when they drop. When they drop. Sky just drop where the UN dropped the graves. You know, when they're like that grade.

[Joseph Opio]

Oh, my God. Most people.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, my God.

[Joseph Opio]

Just a moment. Let me. Let me. Let me interrupt you just because you're talking about food. I remember the first time I came to the US So I didn't know the concept of healthy eating in that way. Right.

[Eugene]

There it comes.

[Joseph Opio]

And so when I came, Americans kept talking about organic food. And. Oh, and they kept telling me, my friends, oh, you can get organic food from this place called Trader Joe's, and it's sometimes more expensive. And so I thought organic food was a brand. Then I went to Trader Joe's, and they were going like, oh, it comes from farm to table. And I'm like, oh, that's the. As we call it, food in Uganda. Cause everything. We don't have processed food. And so when you're talking about, like a different. Yes. Like, Dave is right in that.

[Eugene]

So, for example, like, in your mind, just even think of when grain falls from the sky. So now Joe in just.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm saying he's.

[Eugene]

He's broad palate.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Eugene]

Joe even knows which is the good grain and which is the bad grain. Just from which plane is flying.

[Joseph Opio]

This guy just went like. I go like, avoid that plane. You see that Cessna?

[Unidentified Female Friend]

You know, that's a P50. That's good plane over there.

[Trevor Noah]

So here's the thing. I hear what you mean by that, but I almost feel like it doesn't go deep enough.

[Joseph Opio]

Because I used to use that by. As an excuse at the Daily show to never make line for food. When we'd be in a food line at the Daily Show, I would go like, wow, for shame. You're making an African lineup for food again. This is. This is why I came to America.

[Trevor Noah]

Never.

[Joseph Opio]

And then Whitepool would go like. I guess he has to skip the line now.

[Trevor Noah]

That's a legend right there.

[Joseph Opio]

I would go like, wow. I did. Even water. I would go to. I'd go like, hey, can you get me water? Tell the federal. Right. Hey, can you get me water? And go like, why? Go like. I walked five miles and now you want me to walk to the kitchen as well?

[Trevor Noah]

Damn, Joe.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

You have to. I can't.

[Trevor Noah]

What a superpower.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

To have in a building full of liberals.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

They would go like, oh, we have to show power.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Joe is the only guy amongst all of us who can walk into the New York Marathon and never have run a race but look like he was participating. In fact, he might look like he won.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, you've got that. Like.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Like, you can go collect a medal now.

[Trevor Noah]

If he wears a vest also. He also is one of the fit. He might actually. Might actually run the movie.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

But if. If he just puts on a vest.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

And shorts after the. And then you go queue for a medal, no one will ask you anything.

[Joseph Opio]

I did run a marathon, actually.

[Trevor Noah]

Actually, it's funny you bring that up. Do you remember, man, it's funny you say that. One of my favorite stories, Joe, was when it was a movie premiere. It was Idris El. It was Idris Elba. This was Idris Elba's movie.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. Okay. Beasts of no Nation.

[Trevor Noah]

Beasts of no Nation.

[Joseph Opio]

Never forget. Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

So if I remember correctly, the movie was on Netflix, wasn't it?

[Joseph Opio]

Ended up on Netflix, but they had a screening.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, okay. Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

Because if you're a member of the Writers Guild, you're invited to screenings.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

So that you can vote for the Oscars, you know. And so I turn up to watch the movie. Brilliant movie. Loved it. Then. Cause at the screening, then they have like a party afterwards.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

Like the reception. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

And the movie, for those who don't remember, was Beast of no Nation was a movie about Idris Elba being like. Like a warlord and he had a bunch of child soldiers. And that was like this. That's basically the story. Okay.

[Joseph Opio]

So then we go to the reception, and then I notice there's this couple that keeps looking at me. And so it was Anthony Winner.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

And Huma Aberdeen. Back then they were together and they keep looking at me and I go like, do I know them from somewhere? Because, you know, you get that feeling, do I know these people? And then they come and approach me with big smiles on their faces. And then I go like. As they're approaching, literally when they're just like a second away from me, I go like, oh, it's the congressman with a scandal in my mind. And then they approach me and they go like, we loved you in the movie. You are amazing in the movie. And I went like, this is why this guy needed to be taken down. Cause I. That's what I said inside, but outside I was going like, should I go.

[Trevor Noah]

Like, what did you say?

[Joseph Opio]

I just went like, oh, you know, thank you. Because I went like. They were saying I had an Oscar winning time, basically. What could you say?

[Trevor Noah]

They were saying you look like a child soldier.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. That's what they did.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

That's grown up.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes, but that's.

[Eugene]

Do you have subtitles? Not subtitles, but. Do you have that thing that they have where they give you facts?

[Joseph Opio]

A fact check on screen?

[Eugene]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Why, you want us to fact check this?

[Eugene]

No, no, I just want you to fact check that just in case we're watching. He is not a child. You know what I mean, just so.

[Trevor Noah]

Because Joe is not a child soldier.

[Joseph Opio]

No, Joe is not in the movie.

[Eugene]

He isn't in the movie, and he isn't. You know what I mean? Because your accent is confusing. There's a lot happening.

[Joseph Opio]

No child soldier was harmed.

[Eugene]

There's a lot happening here.

[Trevor Noah]

When you were. When you were a kid, were your tastes as broad as they are now, or was this something that developed over time?

[Joseph Opio]

No, there were. Because the thing is. And to go to the point that Dave was trying to make in Uganda, so when you come from a smaller culture, you're forced. Because you don't produce as much, you're forced to consume things from larger cultures.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

So when I was growing up, I was a. I loved reading. But then you didn't have as many books in Uganda, so you had to read everything you could get your hands on, whether be it Mills and Boon, whether be it like Shakespeare, you just had to read everything. And so it's funny because when I go to countries, they say, South Africa, even the US Americans are very shocked. They go like, oh, how do you know about this movie that happened? How do you know about this moment that happened? How do you know about. And I go, like. Cause when I was in Uganda, when I watch the news, when they go like, foreign news, it's America, it's Britain, it's South Africa. When I'm reading a newspaper, when they go like, oh, international news, it's South Africa, it's Britain, it's. But when you're in America, because Americans are always going like, oh, we feel ignorant. We don't know as much about Uganda. Then I go, like, it makes sense. When you're watching news, when they go foreign news, it's not always Uganda. Maybe every once in a while, but it's France, it's other countries, because you guys are a big culture. So remember in Wat Wakanda, I was talking about how when we were growing up, we were at the Daily show and I told them, us growing up, the most iconic movie in Uganda was Baby's Day Out. Baby's Day out was bigger than Star Wars.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Wait, what is Baby's Day Out?

[Trevor Noah]

It's.

[Joseph Opio]

How do I explain it?

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Sorry, I wasn't in Uganda.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. So what happens? Well, it's this movie about a baby.

[Eugene]

It's almost.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. It's almost like. It's almost like a ripoff of Home Alone.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

But it's like a toddler, like, crawling, and then this part trying to kidnap him, and then he. And it was a huge movie in Uganda. Because the comedy stemmed from the physicality of it. You didn't have to know English. You didn't have to. So I told by the Daily show this movie was bigger than Star wars. And they couldn't believe it. And then we went on Wikipedia and it turns out even in India that movie spent more time in cinemas, spent more weeks in cinemas than Star Wars. And Americans, their minds were blown. Like we didn't even. This was a be like, you know movies that go straight.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, straight to vhs.

[Joseph Opio]

I told them, that kid is an icon in Uganda. I would rather have his autograph than Harrison Ford or.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yeah, or Gene Hegman.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. So it's that like you are. You are forced to consume Star wars, but then also you are forced to consume. So Americans understand Jackie Chan, because Jackie Chan is big in America, but he was huge in Africa because he's moved.

[Trevor Noah]

No, he was massive.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes, he was mad. But when he said no, Jackie Chan, they understand him. But like babies, they out. They went like, we don't. What?

[Trevor Noah]

It's another swordfish. Yes, that is. You see, you swordfished them. That's exactly what Joe did. You swordfish them? Cuz he said in the office, he was like, ah, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he used it as a reference. He went, ah. It's as crazy as saying nobody watched Baby's Day Out.

[Joseph Opio]

And everyone, everyone was everyone.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm sorry, what?

[Unidentified Female Friend]

It's not Babies Day out, it's babies.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. No, but now you make it sound like it's a bunch of them. It's one baby.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

That's exactly what you said, Joe. Babies.

[Eugene]

They are. Is it possible to have requests? Can I have some requests?

[Joseph Opio]

This guy with questions.

[Trevor Noah]

Anything is possible. I don't understand. Like what is a. Like you're gonna ask us to sing a song to you now?

[Eugene]

No, no, I would like. I would like, if possible, some background, maybe some anecdotes on you, you and Joe's relationship. I'm just saying it would be nice.

[Trevor Noah]

And we're taking your request.

[Eugene]

Yes. If you could. This is Joe. This is one of my great friends.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, well.

[Eugene]

Favorite people or whatever between.

[Joseph Opio]

Favorite people and great friends. No, no, no. Even, even favorite. I think I object to favorite because I've seen the favorites he has.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, no, no.

[Joseph Opio]

You're pointing at me. I've seen Kaya, I've seen Anele, I've seen. I don't want to be lumped in.

[Trevor Noah]

Favorite.

[Joseph Opio]

Wait, look, I'm not sure this is good for my brand. Wow. And you should object To Food Aid. No, no, listen. No, listen. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Listen, Kaya, listen, Kaya. Eugene, these are South Africans.

[Trevor Noah]

And I said honorary South Africans.

[Joseph Opio]

No, no, no. But even that like honorary South African. As Africans, we have beef with South Africans. Yes, it might be even. But one sided. And actually a friend told me to bring this up to you. Why do South Africans.

[Eugene]

Hey, hey, it sounds like I'm.

[Trevor Noah]

No, I want to hear the question.

[Joseph Opio]

Why do South Africans always begin a tweet in English and then end it in vanak?

[Unidentified Female Friend]

You're trying to confuse the ending.

[Joseph Opio]

No, no, no, but that's.

[Trevor Noah]

I'll actually tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because that's how most South Africans even speak to each other.

[Joseph Opio]

But you realize how confusing that is for the rest of Africa.

[Trevor Noah]

So listen, now, it's funny you say that we went to Shakespeare in the park here in Central park, right? And so it was a beautiful rendition of Twelfth Night. It's Lupita Nyong'. O. It's Peter Dinkling.

[Joseph Opio]

Cultured. Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Trying.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. Not swordfish, but okay, yes.

[Trevor Noah]

So, so we're trying. So we go and watch Shakespeare. Every sentence started in the kind of English that I know.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

And then it ended in like some Shakespearean stuff that didn't make any sense. You know what I mean? I didn't see one person saying, why do they do that? Why did Shakespeare do that? No, but he made up words. There's random words that weren't English that he made.

[Joseph Opio]

Cockle pop. That's what, that's what Wadsmith does. But I'm saying you guys begin in one. You know?

[Trevor Noah]

You know, let me explain why. Okay, Let me explain why. So since you wanted to take it there. There's a thing called apartheid, Joe. Okay, okay.

[Joseph Opio]

Seems I missed out. Okay. I'm just saying I have formal. Because Dave went through it because they've left Uganda to go to South Africa. I was still him. Dude, you left Uganda. You went like. I would rather go to a country where black people are treated like this than stay in this.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Keep your meals and boon and baby's day out.

[Joseph Opio]

Lady, bounce out. This is, this is this baby's day out. This baby is out. This baby is out. It's very offensive when you think about it. He went like. You see Apartheid South Africa still better than Uganda. Meanwhile, we are stuck there.

[Trevor Noah]

So, so, so I. No, I really do think this is what it is. It's. It's, it's Actually a beautiful byproduct of a terrible beginning. Right. Because South Africa is a country where black people and everyone was forced to speak certain languages that weren't their own. So you were forced to speak English, you were forced to speak Afrikaans. Right. So people were commonly speaking a language or starting a sentence in a language that they didn't speak, but oftentimes your vocabulary runs out. Most. Most sentences are easy to start in another language. Right. I know this. When I learn new languages, I'll find, like, if I speak Spanish, because I don't really know how to speak it yet, I can start a sentence, a sentence, you know, and I can go, duskulpe, perdone. And then you. Then you're like, okay, I have to default. I have to default.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay, no, no, yeah, I understand. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

A natural byproduct of that in language, I find, is that people who've been forced to speak another language adopt parts of that language, but the true essence of who they are is contained in their mother tongue.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. So they might start a sentence in English because that's just how they speak. But when you want to get into, like, the juice of it, you start the sentence in English and then by the end. Because you get what I'm saying.

[Joseph Opio]

Can I counter?

[Trevor Noah]

Counter.

[Joseph Opio]

Because we were also forced to learn a language, you make it seem like South Africa was the only country that.

[Trevor Noah]

I didn't make it seem like anything. Why?

[Joseph Opio]

No, you know, you said people make it seem like.

[Trevor Noah]

I just told you how South Africa was.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay, so here's the thing. Here's the beef that we have with you guys. Okay?

[Trevor Noah]

Tell us.

[Joseph Opio]

You do this.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

On an international platform.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

So we do it.

[Joseph Opio]

No, no. So listen.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

So now, listen, Eugene. So now I want you to appreciate my. My beat.

[Eugene]

Okay?

[Joseph Opio]

So I'm following this tweet. It's very funny.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

And then I don't understand the ending. And then I'm like, wait, what happened? Okay, so now I have to go to Google Translate.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

And the worst part is. The worst part is it's almost like being ghosted via text because you are following. And then pro twist. Now they're speaking Xhosa or whatever. And you are so invested. You are so invested. Because, you know, South Africans are great at Twitter. Yeah, we're good at story. So you're invested. And then now you see people laughing and you're like, okay, I didn't get the ending. It's a Game of Thrones. It's a Game of Thrones. If you think about it. Great, great season first season. Great second.

[Trevor Noah]

And then the final season.

[Joseph Opio]

Then you go, like, what just happened now?

[Trevor Noah]

So I'm trying to explain it to you. So this is what I'm saying. You're not wrong about these parts. Right. And I will apologize on behalf of South Africans then to you as a fellow African. Yeah, as a fellow African, we didn't mean to leave you in the dust. We're not trying to do this intentionally. However, your beef is misplaced. Because when we listened to Sean Paul, okay, and other, like, reggae raga artists and all of that dance hall and all of those vibes, those guys would switch things up in the middle of a sentence.

[Joseph Opio]

We.

[Trevor Noah]

What did we say?

[Joseph Opio]

I'll say this.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

No, no, no, no.

[Joseph Opio]

I'll say this to.

[Trevor Noah]

Just give me the.

[Joseph Opio]

Like, I'll say yes. If you listen. If you listen to. If you listen to reggae. Right.

[Trevor Noah]

Let me tell you something.

[Joseph Opio]

Eugene. That's what I'm saying.

[Trevor Noah]

Like, where did the sentence start?

[Joseph Opio]

But you brought me in with no one listen.

[Trevor Noah]

Just give me that.

[Joseph Opio]

No one listens. No, but no one listens.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, Give me the light.

[Joseph Opio]

You listen for. You listen for the beats no one listens to.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. So that. So that's what I'm saying to you. Don't think of it as an affront.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

But now that you've told us.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes, I'm sure.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, we appreciate it. We won't change anything. However, we'll look in. We should blame this on, like, the platforms for not, like, translating automatically or, like, showing you. But I'll bring that up with South Africa.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

But it's also. It's also the reason why we coined the phrase running out of English bundles. Because, like, running out of data.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, yeah. So.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

So when the English runs out, you, like, default.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Then you have to get in the. But it was the same with Tatital was a mixture of Africans and any other African. South African language. So you'd mix the Africans just to get by, and then you'd put the other parts just to question about the other person. So initially.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay, but you did know this is unique South Africa, right? No, because we don't do it. No, no, no, no.

[Trevor Noah]

I'll tell you a lot.

[Joseph Opio]

No, we don't.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. When I was in India.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

They'll do it with. With Hindi as well.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

They'll start a sentence in English, like.

[Joseph Opio]

Literally, someone, like friends.

[Trevor Noah]

Friends will be talking with each other. I'm like, literally, when we're in Mumbai doing shows.

[Joseph Opio]

No, no, I understand talking. I'm saying tweeting. That's why I said.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, you're saying the writing.

[Joseph Opio]

National platform. Yes. So I'm not familiar with Hindi Twitter.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, okay.

[Joseph Opio]

But this is a very uniquely African thing.

[Trevor Noah]

No, they'll do it sometimes. They'll do it sometimes.

[Joseph Opio]

That's the thing.

[Trevor Noah]

They'll start a sentence and they'll be like. They'll be like, yo, guys. Why does it seem like every time.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Indians sound like that?

[Trevor Noah]

No, because they do it in the accent when they're speaking as well. So they go like, yo, guys, the.

[Joseph Opio]

Indians are very offended because they sound like Hugh Grant in their minds. They're going to. Indians know how Indians sound.

[Trevor Noah]

You're the only person who doesn't know how you sound. In fact, I want to know from you guys, did you not have recorders in India? In Uganda?

[Eugene]

Oh, can I.

[Trevor Noah]

Did Joe never hear his accent in Uganda?

[Eugene]

It's crazy. Crazy. But can I ask a question? Can I ask a question?

[Joseph Opio]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

I feel like you came to an.

[Joseph Opio]

Interview.

[Eugene]

In terms of your guys's relationship.

[Joseph Opio]

Oh, okay.

[Trevor Noah]

And by the way. And by the way, before we move on, can I just say how much I appreciate this?

[Joseph Opio]

Because we.

[Trevor Noah]

We never have a viewer or listener. This feels like the comment section is live.

[Joseph Opio]

No, but it also feels like a therapy session. No, he keeps taking it back.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no. But I do like the comments. I'm just saying I appreciate you.

[Eugene]

Yes. I appreciate you, you know? Cause I know all three of you are like, have wonderful relationship. And it would be. And you're here to podcast Joe. Is that the phrase that you used?

[Joseph Opio]

No, he said he's here to sex tape job to hang out with Joe.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Sex tape.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Eugene]

Okay, cool. But before you make the sex tape.

[Trevor Noah]

You would like me to tell you how I met this guy.

[Eugene]

Not even how you met, but just in that vein, just to establish us so that we know. Oh, okay. This is. Cause if, let's say Joe was your brother, then you could go, this is my brother. A few antidotes for an anecdotes from. Oh, yes. That you know. You know what I'm saying?

[Joseph Opio]

The funny thing is, I feel we're going to have the way it is.

[Eugene]

You just brought some cab driver from New York, put him at the table, and I interviewed you. So that's the feeling. We're getting lost in space.

[Joseph Opio]

You know what? You know what it sounds like? It sounds like. It sounds like Dave is going like, you need to. So that it feels like he thinks ICE might read this, and you need to establish the relationship.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, no. I'll tell you what's happened. I'll tell you what happened. Dave has lived in New York for too long. And in New York and in America, the number one phrase people love asking is, so how do you guys know each other?

[Joseph Opio]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Trevor Noah]

So, like, how do you guys know each other? Like, where did you guys meet? So, like, how did you guys. How do you guys know each other?

[Joseph Opio]

How do you know the birthday boy? How do you know. Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

There's, like, the context I find more than most places in the world, America. But in New York, people really want to know, like, how people know each other, how are you connected and how. You know what I mean? Whereas, like, even now, going back to South Africa, I've realized, like, the other day we were watching was the Premier League just started and we had people over. A whole bunch of friends came, and it was a mixed group. No one asked anyone how anyone knew anyone. We just got in with, like, our opinions and our ideas, because you assume, yes. And then people just left. And no one went, so how do you know? How do you know that person? But I like that you said this. So I'll give you a bit of a backstory. So to go back, I feel like.

[Joseph Opio]

We'Re going to have very conflicting. Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

We.

[Joseph Opio]

Very conflicting takes on this.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, no, no, no. I. I didn't know you, so I will. I'm saying I wouldn't have known you through Dave. Tell your side of how we met, and then we can go from there.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay, so the word. Remember it. I knew Dave Pryor. I come to New York, Okay? I knew Dave because I went to South Africa to perform comedy, to, like, pursue comedy. I meet Dave. I go to wherever Dave was working. I just showed up. I didn't know anyone. So I arrived in South Africa. I don't know anyone. I go to where the Devs used to work. Cause I liked their show. We got it in Uganda. So I walk in and I go like, hey, I'm here to see the guys who do this show. Which seems crazy now, but made sense then.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Even then.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. No, then the receptionist. Even then the reception goes like, okay, you can have a. Who do you want to see? Then I go like, oh, whoever produces the show. Then they go like, oh, they're out for lunch, but can have a seat. So I sit. Now, remember I used to do a show like lnn in Uganda.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, you used to. Basically. You basically used to do the Daily show in Uganda.

[Joseph Opio]

But alone, like a very, yeah, a very pale, like starved imitation of the Daily Show.

[Trevor Noah]

Why did you have to say starved?

[Joseph Opio]

Cause it wasn't getting grains from up there. So I turn up and then I'm seated there. And then Kahiso comes. Kahiso was like the director, creator, producer, and Dave. And they come. No, I think Dave didn't come, just Kahiso. And then they're walking past the reception and they do a double take and they're gonna wait, are you, are you the guy from who does the show in Uganda? And they go like, oh yeah, it's me. Then go like, oh my God, we're big fans, we've watched the show on YouTube. Can you come through? Then we're like, oh, that's why I came here. So then they take me back to the writer's room and then I sit in the writer's room. Then they start pitching jokes, you know, talking. Then I start pitching as well. Cause you know, I make myself comfortable wherever I go. So I start pitching then, so then I pitch an idea. Cause remember you are shooting something about the South African elections and how like there were illegals coming in, maybe from Zimbabwe, trying to still yes, no to.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Vote no still now.

[Joseph Opio]

Oh yeah, okay, I thought still the election. So then I pitch, hey, how about, what if I pick something about an illegal coming in, trying to act like a South African? And then he's singing like all the South African songs, social, all that, but he's butchering them because clearly it's an illegal. And so then they go like, hey, are you around on Monday? They go like, yeah, I am. Oh, can you come? We shoot you, you be the illegal. I go like, okay, cool.

[Trevor Noah]

This feels like a trap, by the way. No, this really does feel like a trap.

[Joseph Opio]

So then I show up, oh, this happens. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I get to know Dave. We meet. Dave was a very gracious host. He takes me around, perform, stand up, this and this. And then you.

[Eugene]

An interesting thing. Sorry, Even though I asked for this question. Okay, Is that the way I asked? Could you describe how you met Trevor?

[Joseph Opio]

Yes.

[Eugene]

And now what you're doing is you're giving backstory. Cuz this could go.

[Joseph Opio]

No, no, no, no.

[Eugene]

Everybody linked, you know what I'm saying? And I was born.

[Joseph Opio]

I knew, I knew.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

When he said, I'm sorry that he's not.

[Joseph Opio]

I knew.

[Eugene]

You know what I'm saying?

[Unidentified Female Friend]

No, sorry.

[Joseph Opio]

I, I, I get it.

[Eugene]

A backstory can start at any point. Unless you threw so and so.

[Joseph Opio]

Do you see what I'm saying you're like, I didn't start with my first day out as a baby.

[Eugene]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

No, no, no. Okay, okay. No. So, so anyway, so I get to know. Okay, so I get to know. I get to know Dave.

[Eugene]

How did that happen?

[Joseph Opio]

I get to know Dave. Then I tell Dave. Okay, listen. So I get to know Dave. Then I. I tell Dave I'm going to go to America because I've come to South Africa and I've kind of hacked it, but not really. But now I want to go to America because America is the biggest comedian.

[Trevor Noah]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

So how familiar are you with Dave at this point?

[Joseph Opio]

Do you tell him your dreams and wishes? No, we hung out. We hung out like four. So fast forward from the day. No, because I had only a one month visa, so we hung out during that time. Then I told Dave, there's visas. Yeah, South Africa. We need visas to come to South Africa.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

You do?

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. And yet we helped shelter Mandela and those guys. Anyway, that's another bit. You won't get into it. So I tell Dave, hey, I'm gonna go to South Africa. I'm gonna go to America, because that's where, like, you know, all the big comedians are. Then Dave goes like, what? But you. You're starting to get your footing. And then I go like, yeah, I'll go. If it doesn't work out, I'll come back.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

So then I come to America. First night, I knew no one in America. I come in, I go like, America gives me three months. So I went like, I need to make it work as quickly as possible. So first night, I go to the cellar.

[Trevor Noah]

The comedy seller.

[Joseph Opio]

Comedy seller. Because I had seen it in Louis and I knew about it. So I kind of got. Okay. I asked the bus staff, the wait staff, hey, I'm here to see Esti, the booker.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, yeah, Estee who runs. Yeah, the guy.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah, the booker. Because I'd done some research. And then the wait staff goes like, no, she comes in around midnight, so can you wait around? I go, like, I wait. I have nothing to do. First night, I wait. Midnight, midnight 31. Esty is nowhere to be seen. So the waitstaff, the waist up tells me, hey. So I tell her I'm going to bounce. She's not here because I. Okay, cool. Then in my mind, I go like, I'm coming back tomorrow. So I show up tomorrow night, different waitstaff. Then I go, okay, I'm here to see Esti, and this particular waitstaff thinks I have an appointment. So she goes like, oh, See it, you know, she'll come in around midnight. So I see it. Midnight, midnight 30. She comes and she goes, okay, so esti's here. So now, Estee, you know this from the comedy. So that she goes, sit at the comedian's table.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

So I stand up and go to the comedian stable. And it was st. It was Louis ck. It was I think Colin Jost from SNL and I think Aziz Ansari. They were seated there. So I go. And I approach her and I go, hey, Estee, what's up? She goes, oh, hello, how are you doing? And I go, I'm a comedian and I want to perform at the comedy theater. And then she goes like, oh, okay. Do you have any. Have you been on TV before? Because you need a TV credit to perform at the center. And I go like, yeah, I've been on South African tv. I've been on Ugandan tv. Then she goes, no, no, no, no. She goes like, no, that doesn't count. I mean, have you been on America? I've been on a late night show in America. Then I go like, no. Then she goes like, oh, okay. Then in that case, you need to be recommended by two comedians who have played there for 10 years.

[Eugene]

Damn.

[Joseph Opio]

And then I got like, okay, Estee, no, remember this whole time, the table, they just look at me like, going like, what's happening?

[Trevor Noah]

Because now you've interrupted.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes, like, what's happening?

[Trevor Noah]

The table.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah, the table. So. But I didn't know about this. So then I go like, yeah, Estee, I understand all these restrictions. You don't want trash on. All these are quality control measures. But in my defense, I've come a long way. I've come from Africa. That should count for something. Then she goes, oh, that's funny. Oh, okay. Can you send me something? I'll waive some of these things. Can you send me something on email? And I go like, okay. So she gives me her email address and I go like, of course. You know, she's blowing me off. I've seen this story before, you know, girls give you the wrong number. I go like, oh, est is blowing me off. Then I go back to my place, second 1:30. And then I sent her something. I said I had done like a clip about Obama becoming president. And I saw her 12 minutes later, she responds and she goes, oh, this is different. And funny. Come through and perform. So I go through same night. No, no, this is like, oh, fine, five nights later, I go through perform.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

And then I perform. She comes down. She comes down to See you. She comes, so I went on after Luisike, and when Luisike came off, no, I went on after him. And then I go and perform. Five minutes I perform, and then people laugh at my punchlines. And then Deva Taylor, who is a comedy legend in New York, comes on after me. And then he goes like. As I'm walking off, he goes, hey, yo, can you hold on a moment? Then he goes like, are you really from Uganda? I go like, yeah, I am. Then he goes like, I don't believe it. You knew so much about America and politics and this. Then he goes like, this guy, I think, is a Brooklyn comedian whose whole shtick is I'm a Uganda. So then next jokes. Next jokes that I come off. Then Estee goes like, how was it? I go like, oh, it was fun. It was funny. They laughed on punchlines. But man, Louis C. Can never tell. Wow. People laugh at their silences, at their gestures. Wow. I want to be like that. So can I come back and just watch and learn? I don't want to go back on stage. Can I just come and watch and learn? The master? And she goes like, oh, I like that. I like that attitude. Oh, okay. So she calls a member of the waitstaff, and she goes like, this guy is going to be coming in comp his food and drinks.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, wow.

[Joseph Opio]

And now, in Estes mind, I think she thought I'd be coming in once a week. That's why the food and drinks every time. But now I'm an African in New York. I know no one, and you're offering food and drinks. I was there every night. Every night. And so I would go sit. They bring my food and my drink. I eat. She made a. She made. It's a cardinal era. Cardinal era. Offering an African free food. So I'm eating. I'm eating. And then I see the comedians come off. And, you know, I'm a writer, so comedians come off. I give them notes. Hey, maybe you should change this. Maybe you should change this. I give, you know, many comedians, and I give Louis CK A note. Cause he had a joke where he had the punchline in the middle. And then when he start talking, he would, like, talk over the laughter. So I give him a note, and everyone loses their mind. They go like, yo, there's this African who gave Louis C.K. the Louis C.K. but, I mean, I didn't see him as a Louis ck I saw him as a comedian. And now cutting. Long story short, two weeks.

[Trevor Noah]

Long story.

[Joseph Opio]

No, listen. No, because now I'm going to Trevor. I'm going to make you anyway.

[Trevor Noah]

But don't cut. There's nothing to cut.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay.

[Eugene]

Because there's no.

[Trevor Noah]

It's already a long story. Oh, so you haven't cut anything.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Eugene]

Okay.

[Joseph Opio]

So. Okay. So I'm now a permanent fixture at the Cellar. So then one day I come down, you know, the steps, the famous steps?

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

And then I see Trevor. I see you are preparing to go on. You're prepared to go on stage. So I come and go like, oh, Trevor, oh, why? Then I go like, I'm a big fan. Then, you know, talk a bit, because Trevor is very polite. Oh, you meet. Yeah. So then he goes on stage.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

I mean, yeah, he will write about.

[Joseph Opio]

He would indulge you. So then he comes back. Then Trevor goes like, wait, because then when you're going on. You had your jacket. You were taking off your jacket. I told you, I'll hold it. Then you gave it to me. Then you go on perform. Perform. Come back. Then I go like, oh. Then I think I tried to give you a note or something like, hey, wait, are you the Ugandan guy? Are you like the African. African comedian? Then I go like, yeah, I am. Then he goes African twice.

[Eugene]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

Then you know, African, African. Yeah, yeah. Then he goes like, oh, I've been receiving texts about you.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

Are you the one who gave Louis ck? Then I got like, yeah, I told him how to change. Then you go like, oh, people have been texting me like, yo, Trevor, there's an African. African comedian. Forget you. This one sounds like an African. African. So then we. He goes like, this one sounds like, yes. Like, he just jumped out of, like, you know, coming to America, those movies. So then we go up and then.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

We start like, are you still holding the jacket?

[Joseph Opio]

No, no, I've given it back to the Kenya. Yeah, no, I'm not that kind of.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Cause I estimate that mistake.

[Joseph Opio]

So then we go up and this was around like, 8, 8:30. And then we just start talking, and we talk, like, I think up to, like, five. Just talking about soccer, life, comedy. And then you went like, oh, this was fun. We should do it again. Again, critical mistake. Cause I'm there every night. Comes back the next night. We hung out. And that's when you told me about Dave. You were like, oh, no, I contacted Devo, and Dave thinks you're a cool guy. You're a good guy, you know, good people all. We should hang out. And I feel like that's when we started to hang out. And then that's when we had the incident with Neil Brennan.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, but pause there. So I'll. I'll tell you how this unfolded for me. Okay, so I was born away lad.

[Joseph Opio]

In South Africa on a rainy, rainy Monday.

[Trevor Noah]

They say that my mother turned to me as I came out of her womb. No, don't go anywhere because we can Got more what now after this hey.

[Katie Nolan]

There, it's Katie Nolan, host of Casuals, the sports podcast where we don't care how much you know about sports. We're just happy that you're here. Every week I hang out with some of my good friends to discuss the biggest stories across sports and entertainment, but in a way that's like fun and not boring. Want to know Sue Bird's favorite Diana Taurasi story? Or how heavy the Larry o' Brien Trophy is? Or even what baseball team is right for you based on your moon sign? We got you. Listen to Casuals every Tuesday and Thursday on the SiriusXM app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Trevor Noah]

Bye.

[Rob Lowe]

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[Trevor Noah]

Find new customers on a platform that's here to stay with TikTok for business, anything is possible. If you've ever thought about advertising your business on TikTok, now is the time to do it. You can drive more customers to your website, sell products right in the app, and you can even use TikTok's creative tools to easily make content and find creators to help sell your products for you. Find new customers today. Just open your browser, type in get started.TikTok.com tiktokads and grow your business fast. This is from my side of the story. This is what happened. Yeah, I used to go to the comedy seller time. All the the time I'm doing my thing, all of a sudden I start getting texts from random people. Yo, is this guy your friend? Yo, who's this guy? Basically every text, it's basically, come get your mans.

[Joseph Opio]

That's what every text, the subtext is.

[Trevor Noah]

There'S an African at the Comedy Cellar. Is this yours? But they're saying it like. They're saying it like I have, like, a portal. A portal and a responsibility. Every single person was like, hey, there's an African here. Is he waiting for you?

[Joseph Opio]

Is he here for you?

[Trevor Noah]

Then I was like, guys, do you know how big Africa is? I was like, this is why we need to change that map, because you guys think this guy's from my house. So anyway, people keep texting me. They keep texting me. They keep texting me. The day with Louis, I was actually there and I saw this in person. I remember I thought you were just some random straggler who's hanging around. Louis came off stage, and then you accosted Louis and you're like, ah, Louis. Then you're like, ah. Can I give you a note? No.

[Joseph Opio]

I was seeing that.

[Trevor Noah]

That punchline. Huh?

[Joseph Opio]

I noticed sounding like Hugh Grant.

[Trevor Noah]

Then you were like, I don't know who this guy. No, Louie, I noticed there was a punchline that you were. No, there was a moment that you missed, so I was thinking that maybe you could. Then I remember being like, yo, bruh, this is a random audience member giving one of the greatest comedians of our generation notes. Who is this person?

[Unidentified Female Friend]

So basically you're an observer at that moment.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, I was.

[Joseph Opio]

He didn't even see me.

[Trevor Noah]

I was just like, damn, whoever that guy was, that's like. I was just like, this is just craziness.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

You were Humpty Dumpty in person.

[Trevor Noah]

Boo. I kept on moving. Kept on moving. Right. Then we spoke that night you're talking about. But before that, what actually happened was Dave sent me a message and he said something to the effect of, I could probably find it if I looked in my whatsapps. Because you can just go back years.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Do you mind saying it in Dave's voice?

[Trevor Noah]

So, okay, I'll do it. So then Dave sends me a message, but I didn't hear his voice in the message. So that would be fake.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

But you know it now.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, but that would be fake.

[Joseph Opio]

If.

[Trevor Noah]

If I repeat something, he said, I'll. I'll do it. So sends me a message and the message says, yo, there's a random Ugandan you're going to meet. No, really? He goes like. I'm paraphrasing, but I think I'm gonna get it sort of right. He goes like, there's a random Ugandan you're going to meet. He's going to seem like the most random person you've ever met. And your first instinct will be to not speak to him. Your first instinct will be to not speak to him.

[Joseph Opio]

This is a growing.

[Trevor Noah]

Your first instinct. Instinct will be to not speak to him. But I promise you now, he's one of the smartest human beings you've ever met in your life. As smart as you think I am, he's ten times more smart. He's super funny. He knows everything about comedy.

[Joseph Opio]

Not smarter.

[Trevor Noah]

You see? There you go.

[Joseph Opio]

Not more smart. Okay. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

So there you go.

[Joseph Opio]

You see?

[Trevor Noah]

So then he's like, so please give him a chance. Talk to him. Hang out with him. He wants to do comedy in America, and I told him that he must speak to you. So because of Dave, now I go.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Oh, okay, you must be.

[Trevor Noah]

This guy's not random. Because Dave introduces me to no one. And I mean no one. Just him. And then, like, one homeless guy. These are the only people that Dave.

[Joseph Opio]

Has, like, which makes it two homeless people.

[Trevor Noah]

These are the only people that Dave has ever, like, introduced me to. Okay, so. But the homeless guy came many years later when I knew Dave. You were, like, the first. So Dave doesn't do that. So anyway, so I've got. So that's how I make contact with you. So I go like, all right, you've been. You've really been vetted, or somebody has vouched for you. So I have to. I don't even know what the deal is, but I was like, I have to just get to know you. And then he wasn't wrong. I mean, within 10 minutes of hanging out with you, I was like, this is. You're one of the weirdest. You're like an alien.

[Joseph Opio]

Who.

[Trevor Noah]

I've always told you this, though. You're like an alien because the way you see the world and the way you operate in it is alien. Like, you don't take into account many of the. Many of the social norms that people take into account. Like, one day, I remember I was walking with you in a park, and we just finished playing a game of soccer here in New York, and we walking across the field in the park, and some people are playing baseball in one corner. Other people are doing sprints. Other people Are just working out. And we're walking back with our bags. And there was a family with their babies. And there was, like, one baby, one baby and one toddler. And the toddler came running in our direction. It's a white family, White everything. And the toddler comes running in our direction. I'm like, what? I. I'm just like, whatever. It's a child, Joe. And I remember seeing this in slow motion.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Joe drops, kicks the baby.

[Trevor Noah]

And I remember seeing this in slow motion.

[Joseph Opio]

I go like, take that weighty.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Joe.

[Trevor Noah]

Joe. Joe runs. Joe runs. The kid runs towards us. Joe runs towards the kid, grabs them. But this is like. Like a movie where it's like the kid is like, Uncle Joe or something. Joe grabs the baby.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Baby.

[Trevor Noah]

I am looking out of the corner of my eye like this. Because this is all happening sort of in slow motion.

[Joseph Opio]

So I'm like, no, don't touch the baby.

[Trevor Noah]

Joe grabs the baby and then hoists the baby up and starts, like, throwing the baby. But, like, he's known this like a family member.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Trevor Noah]

And Joel throws this baby up, and.

[Joseph Opio]

He'S like, oh, no, look at you.

[Trevor Noah]

Ah.

[Joseph Opio]

Ah. No, baby. Ah.

[Trevor Noah]

And this ba. Now, as he grabbed the baby from behind the baby, another corner. I see the parents. Now, you know this is happening in the space of seven seconds, max. But you know how fast your mind can process things in those moments? I'm panicking. I see them turn. They've just seen this guy.

[Joseph Opio]

Grabbing their.

[Trevor Noah]

Child in a park, hoisting them. I see them turn. You see the look on their faces. Like, ah, shit, it's happening.

[Joseph Opio]

This African is adopting white babies.

[Trevor Noah]

You see that?

[Joseph Opio]

Like you.

[Eugene]

I saw.

[Joseph Opio]

He's reversing the roles. This is now my UNICEF baby. Come here, UNICEF baby. I'm going to give up a cup of coffee every day. I'm gonna make your dreams come true.

[Trevor Noah]

So I. I see the panic in their eyes. So I'm. But before I can tell Joe, don't do it. And I'm trying to almost tell them.

[Joseph Opio]

He'S okay, he's okay.

[Trevor Noah]

It's too late. I'm trying to tell him Joe has.

[Eugene]

Don't do that.

[Trevor Noah]

And then the dad comes running in. You can see he's, like, basically failed in his life. Cause he comes running in, but it's too late. Cause Joe has his baby. And Joe takes the baby, throws the baby up, and then the baby defused the whole thing. Cause the baby had more fun in, like, those two seconds. I can't even explain it to you. And Then the dad came and just stood by us while Joe just carried on. He didn't even go like, that's my baby. Or he just stood there like, I guess they know each other. He was so thrown by what he had experienced that he didn't know. He didn't know what to do. And then the mom came holding the. The baby. So the toddler's in Joe's arms, She's holding another baby, and they're just standing there. Like, they're standing there the way you would stand if, like, a bear had grabbed your child from a crewmaker camping.

[Joseph Opio]

No one moved. No one moved.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, but your child is giggling.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

And the bear is just juggling your child. The bear's juggling your child, and the child's having a good time. And no one. No one moved. And then Joe was just like, oh, no.

[Joseph Opio]

Oh, no, look at. Oh, look at you. Oh, no. Oh, look at my pop.

[Trevor Noah]

And then he put the baby down, and the baby was just like, yeah, baby. The baby was ecstatic. That toddler was ecstatic. And then the parents, like, scooped the kid up.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

The parents.

[Eugene]

And then.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, then the parents scooped the kid up.

[Joseph Opio]

He lives to fight another day.

[Trevor Noah]

And looked at us like, hey, thank you. Hey. And then they walked away. You could see they were shocked, and they felt like they had escaped something.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Unicef.

[Trevor Noah]

And then Joe just carried on what he was talking about before. He's like, no. So here's the thing. If we can press them, if the defense moves forward next time, we gotta find it. Then I said, joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. Then I said, joe. I said, joe, Joe. Don't ever do that again. No, but I was like, my man. My man. In America, a black man cannot go around grabbing white people's babies. I was like, joe, don't do.

[Joseph Opio]

Then he's like, no, what?

[Trevor Noah]

What do you mean, what?

[Joseph Opio]

What do you. Then I said, he's like, no, but the babies love it. They love it when you throw.

[Trevor Noah]

I was like, joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. You just got here.

[Joseph Opio]

I'll say this. I wouldn't trust my baby with a guy with that accent. 100 speaking the way.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no.

[Joseph Opio]

But in their defense, they don't hear you.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no.

[Joseph Opio]

No accent. You're making. Yeah, that guy. That guy wouldn't.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Wrong, number one.

[Trevor Noah]

But. And that was one of the first moments where I was like, you'd. Because you even saying it in the story, nobody would ever, at the Comedy Cellar, go up to the comedian's table with Esti and Louis CK And Aziz ansari and Colin Josten and just interrupt a conversa. And then also be like. When they go like. No, you can't come. Be like. No, let me tell you why I should. But also not in, like, an asshole way. No. That's why I say you're like an alien.

[Joseph Opio]

No. But I'll say this so to the kid's story. For me, the reason it didn't stand out till Trevor pointed it out was I'll do that with a kid in Uganda. So I didn't grow up with the racial dynamics of America or South Africa, even.

[Trevor Noah]

Baby dynamics.

[Joseph Opio]

No, no. Because I know one thing about babies. I've had, like, I haven't knit up. So kids. So the thing I love with. With kids is what you see is what you get. They're not like adults.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

You have fun with them. They give.

[Trevor Noah]

So I'm not speaking about the babies.

[Joseph Opio]

I had another experience like that. So I was. You've done it again. No, no, no. I was at a park. Because it's instinctive. Listen. I was at a park. Listen. We don't know this guy. @ FBI at. Stephen Miller 2. Failed attempted human trafficking at White House. I'm out my visa. I don't want to be. I don't want to be. No, here's the thing. So who. At the park. I was with a friend who has kids. You know, Cat. Right. You know Cat. Right. And we. So this kid, you know. No, you know. You know, you go with your friends who have kids to the park. So I'm pushing the kid on the.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Swing. You know this.

[Joseph Opio]

Kid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my friend's kid. And then there's a kid next on another swing who is being pushed by a kid, a fellow kid. And so I'm pushing this kid. And then the other kid over, pushes over, balances. The other kid.

[Trevor Noah]

Falls.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. And my instinct, I immediately go and grab the kid and start kissing him on the forehead. Going to the.

[Eugene]

Cage.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay. No, no, no. I got a cake. No. Cause the kid is crying. So the kid is.

[Eugene]

Crying. Oh.

[Joseph Opio]

God. What are we doing here? I feel like. Listen. What am I part of. I feel like. So that Epstein tape where they're like, do you know these kids? Yeah. So I'm asking. So.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

I'm.

[Joseph Opio]

Deposition. So I'm soothing the kid. I'm gonna take. Because the kid is crying. No, no. Because.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

You.

[Joseph Opio]

No. So. So when you hug the kid. Listen. You're hugging the kid. Listen, we're going to change. I'm sorry, guys. Self.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Incriminating. No.

[Joseph Opio]

No. Listen. No, so I'm like. So I'm going like. So you know when you're hugging the kid and the kid is crying? No, I don't know. I'm like, hey, hey. I'm like, hey, hey, to camera. Listen, I've never hugged a.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Stranger. I've never sued them with their.

[Joseph Opio]

Lips, but the kid is crying. I don't care. I'm saying. I'm saying that's what I would do to a kid in Uganda. I would go like, hey, hey, kid there. It's okay. You're brave. We have swings. Come on. So I go like. I go like, they're there, you know, it's okay. You're.

[Trevor Noah]

Great. You're.

[Joseph Opio]

Brave. You're a brave little man. Don't worry. Don't worry. And then the mom comes, and the mom, you know, she had the same look of panic, like, oh, what's this stranger doing with my kid? But then now the kid keeps quiet, telling me, you're strong. You're brave. And then the mom goes like, oh, okay. Oh, thank you so much. Because the moment I was playing with another.

[Trevor Noah]

Kid.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. She was like, on the other.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Side. The problem is having two kids.

[Joseph Opio]

Here. I think just one child gives for me, in my mind. It's the same thing, Trevor, we have with. Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Police. No, no.

[Joseph Opio]

No. It's the same thing we have with policemen, when policemen stop us. The way I talk to. Okay, so again, another story. When I came to America, before I met you, I had this friend who was from Philly. So one day we're going to comedy club, and we get lost in the subway.

[Trevor Noah]

Right?

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. So then he's. He's going like, oh, well, he doesn't know which train to take because he was from Philly, I'm from Africa. We don't know the thing. So I go. So I see subway cops. I see, like, the cops in the subway. So I just walk up to them and I go like, hey, guys, we are lost. So which train? And then. Then this guy just keeps his distance, my friend. And then I come back and tell him, oh, they said, we take the air. It will take us to the village. And so then he goes like, dude, what's happening? Then I go like, oh. Then he goes like, dude, you're black, I'm black. We never approach policemen like that. Then I go, like, what do you mean? Then he goes, they could have shot you. Those interactions don't end well. Then I go, like. Then I told him, but they're there to serve us. So I told him, if they shot me, I'll die. More out of shock. These guys suck at their jobs. Cause in Uganda, and Dave knows this in Uganda. Why would you shoot me? Shock, the number one killer of Ugandans in America. So this guy was going like, I don't understand. Why would you just approach a bunch of. But that's what I would do in Uganda, if I'm lost, I would approach the policeman and go like, hey. And he couldn't believe.

[Trevor Noah]

It. I'm just picturing this.

[Joseph Opio]

Guy. I.

[Trevor Noah]

Don'T. Black guy from.

[Joseph Opio]

Philly.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. And he just watched you approach the.

[Joseph Opio]

Cop. Very comfortable with swag as.

[Trevor Noah]

Well. Start kissing them and throwing them.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Out. You are strong.

[Trevor Noah]

Soldier. You're like, I know. Please, which way can we.

[Joseph Opio]

Go? No, so. So the thing is, when.

[Trevor Noah]

You.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. When you didn't grow up in the.

[Trevor Noah]

Culture. But this is what. But this is what I'm trying to.

[Eugene]

Say. So can I ask another.

[Trevor Noah]

Question? Of.

[Eugene]

Course.

[Joseph Opio]

Great. This.

[Trevor Noah]

Is. This is what the show is all about. We love the.

[Eugene]

Fans. Okay. Thank.

[Trevor Noah]

You.

[Eugene]

Please. The one interesting thing that Joe has. I've known you for like 12, 13 years, whatever it may be, and I have never. Because, you know, let me. This is a sort of like an anomaly kind of situation that you guys have described or he has described. Kissing strangers.

[Joseph Opio]

Babies. Anomaly for who? With.

[Eugene]

Context. No, I know, I get the context. Babies. No, no, I get the.

[Joseph Opio]

Context. What I'm saying is. Edit out this far, no kisses, strangers.

[Eugene]

Babies. What I'm saying is that the part that I find the most interesting out of you, the most most interesting, is that I've known you for whatever it is, 12, 13, 14 years, whatever it may be, and I've spent a lot of time with you. And in all that time that I have spent with you, I have never for five minutes seen you upset or in a bad.

[Trevor Noah]

Mood. That's why I'm saying he's an.

[Eugene]

Alien. No, I'm saying. So could you explain.

[Trevor Noah]

That? That's sort of. It goes to the alien thing, right? Actions that people might. Might find themselves doing in a. In a certain setting, that can be cultural, you know, so in one culture, people hold pinky fingers. Men, when they walk in the streets, they hold pinky fingers in another place. That. That happens all over the world. So that happens in India, in the Middle east, even in parts of South Africa. Guys would do.

[Eugene]

It.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. You've never seen Cousins? Come on, dude. No. Come on. In Haman spell. Guys would do that. No, they would. You've never seen that. You've Never seen that. They'll do that. They do it in time. But that's normal in a lot of.

[Joseph Opio]

Places. That's.

[Trevor Noah]

Cultural. Yeah, I'm saying that's normal in a lot of places. Right. But in other places, they'll go like, that's crazy. Okay, so this is. These are cultural things. What Dave's hitting on here is, is like the evidence that makes it more likely that you're an alien. Okay, And. And that. And that evidence is.

[Joseph Opio]

What? Alien from up there? Not alien. Like.

[Trevor Noah]

Trump. No, no, not Trump. Alien. Relax. No, no, no. Don't worry. Don't worry about that. No, no, no, no. What I'm saying is you. Dave's right. I also have never seen you depressed, sad, angry, all the, like, whatever we call them, like, neg. And not in, like a fake way, by the way. I'm not talking like, oh, that person's always in a good mood. Not like that. Not like that. Cause I've seen you pensive. I've seen you mourning somebody or something bad that's happened. When my grandmother passed away, you came over. It's not like you were like, ah, grandmothers, who cares? You were like. You know what I mean? You cried. Like, you were like, with me in the moment is what I mean. But I'm saying it's like a state of being. I've never seen you like. We've never seen you. Not.

[Joseph Opio]

Positive. But you know.

[Trevor Noah]

Why?

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. Why? Because I'm hashtag winning. You know this. And I've told you this. You know the Trump speech where he goes, like, you're going to win so much. You're going to start telling me.

[Trevor Noah]

We'Re gonna be winning so much. You're gonna be tired of winning. Tired of winning. So much.

[Joseph Opio]

Winning. You're saying, Mr. President, Mr. President, we're tired. We can't take it.

[Trevor Noah]

Anymore. We can't take it.

[Joseph Opio]

Anymore. We're tired of.

[Trevor Noah]

Winning. So much winning. So much.

[Joseph Opio]

Winning. I'm a Ugandan. Think about it. I'm a.

[Trevor Noah]

Ugandan.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. First of all, working legally in New.

[Trevor Noah]

York.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. But not just working legally. Working at the Daily Show. Right. How many Ugandans get to do that? For me, I've always been very. Kimuka doesn't count. Kimka is.

[Trevor Noah]

Ugandan.

[Joseph Opio]

Light. So. No, I'm Ugandan.

[Trevor Noah]

Ugandan.

[Joseph Opio]

No. So anyway, the thing is, I've always been hyper aware of how, like, I am, like, from. And this is way before the Daily Show. I've always been born in Africa. Being born as a guy in Africa as opposed to being Born a woman in Africa. Already you're winning. Because a guy in Africa has certain privileges and he's given more than a girl. So I've always been hyper aware of how like I am. I've always been hyper aware of. Of my privilege, so to speak. So when people complain about things, people get, you know, when people complain about things, oh, this is not working out. I go like, my life, everything is working out. Literally. I walked into the Comedy Cellar, got a chance to perform. I walked into their show, got a chance to meet them out of the blue. We became friends. Everything. I feel like I've. I'll put it like this. I don't, like, sweat the little stuff, if that makes sense. So, for example, today you guys came late for the podcast. What did you say? First, Joe, we are sorry we kept you. I didn't remember. I'm like, why are you apologizing? Remember when we, when we planned. When we made a plan? Yeah, to watch El Clasico. Dave, you were there. We planned to watch El Classico. It was going to be at 2. Barcelona, Real Madrid, biggest game in the world. I turn up to apartment 1 45. You guys come in at 4, right? Right. You and Dave walk in at 4. This game was supposed to start at 2. And Trevor and Dave walk in full of apologies. And then I go like, why are you guys apologizing? Like, because other people would be upset. And Trevor tells me people would be upset because we made a plan. You're supposed to watch. Then I'm like, why though? Like, why would I be upset? Like, you and Dave wanted to watch the game. We plan to watch the game, but you didn't show up on time. That means something more urgent came up or you are held up. You are not hiding somewhere around the corner going like, oh, let's make Joe wait. Something else came up. And then Trevor goes like, ah, but I don't. But, you know, other people would be upset, you know, maybe disrespected. Yes, yes, maybe, Maybe this is again. Then I told him, no. Why would I be without.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Apology? Sorry.

[Joseph Opio]

Sorry. So Trevor is going like, all other porn filled feel disrespected. Their time. Then I go like, no, but it wasn't my time. It was your time. You basically, you're the one who's not here. No, no, You. You lent me your time. It wasn't. I'm not entitled to your time. You told me, let's meet at 2. But it wasn't my time. It was your time. You just lent it to me. But I was entitled to it. So then I go like, I can't be upset. Let's. The game. The game. You recorded it. You remember? You went like, oh, I.

[Trevor Noah]

Do.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. So then we watched again, and then I was. Because for me, I don't understand why. Like, something small like that. Let's say I arrange a date with a girl, and I don't turn up on time. She shouldn't be upset. She should go like, oh, Joe wanted to have this date. Joe wanted to have this dinner with me. But for some reason, he didn't. Something must have come up. Instead of putting yourself first, going like, me, me, me. I got disrespected. Me, me, me, this and that. Go like, oh, why did the other person not. Because think about it this way. If you plan a dinner date or to watch a game and then you don't turn up on time, and then I find out you are in an accident, I don't get upset. Does that make sense? Because I stopped putting myself first. I stopped going like, oh, Mimi, a second. Oh, my God. Are you okay? Were you? Yeah. So for me, that's how I look at most things. I don't sweat the small things. I remember when I told you about the relationship I have with my family, right? With my sisters. And because my. My family. My siblings have access to all my money, to my bank accounts. Remember, I told you this? And then you went like, what? What if they stole the money? Now, I'm lucky that my family were very close in it. But also you went like, but what if they were like, I wouldn't sweat it. I genuinely wouldn't. Because I would go like, oh, they know they can ask me for the money. They know they have access to the money. So if they stole it, that means they were so desperate, something must have come up, right? And I would rather they steal my money than go steal a stranger's money. Because if they steal a stranger's money, now it's courts. Now it's prison. Now it's this. Now my mom is stressed. My dad is stressed. Now they stole my.

[Trevor Noah]

Stress.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. But if they steal my money, then I'll go like, oh, that means they needed it more than I needed it. I've had this same mentality. When we're in school, boarding school in Uganda, people would go like, oh, like, you know, leaving your suitcase. Like, they'll pull, like, lock them and everything. And I'm like, no. Why? If someone. Someone can approach me and ask me for something, if they feel the need to go and steal, which you know, results in expulsion and suspension. They needed that thing. They really just. They needed that thing more than I needed.

[Eugene]

It. Here's a question then. So even in terms of. Okay, let's just say, okay, that I can get it conceptually. But then how do you deal with, like, being a morning person? Do you know what I mean? Sometimes you're just in a bad mood because you didn't get enough.

[Joseph Opio]

Sleep. I don't believe in the concept of so much sleep. And Trevor knows this, and you know this as well, because I go like, I'm winning so much at life. I don't want to sleep. Because if you're sleeping, then you're not winning. You're just lying there. You're not actively. No, no, no. Sleeping is one of the only activities where you're not actively enjoying the thing. So when I'm watching a soccer game, I go like, wow, this is amazing. When I'm watching a Broadway show, I go. When I'm having a conversation, I'm eating food, I go like, oh, this is delicious. This is amazing. When I'm sleeping, I'm like, this glass. I'm not actively enjoying the thing. Now, I understand the benefit of sleep. You're fresh and all this. But I'm going, like, for me, sleeping is like going on social media. People who win are not on social media because they're busy winning at, like, they're busy enjoying life. Sleeping means. So me, when I was young, when I was a bit, you know, in my teenage years, I still got like, yo, if I make it, I'll watch every show. I'll watch every. I'll read every book. I'll, you know, I'll do things. And now I'm at that stage in my life where I really could watch every show. Because you're a member of the guild, they give you all these screenings. I could read every book. Because I'm in New York, I can access them. The one thing I don't have is time. I don't have enough time to do it because I only have 24 hours in a day. So I want to spend a minimum of those hours sleeping. Because sleep, you.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Don'T. As little as.

[Joseph Opio]

Possible. As little as possible. Because I have things to do. We play soccer up to 2. I have things to do. So sleeping, because it's one thing I don't actively enjoy, is one thing. So I sleep. And Trevor knows this. I sleep. And you have seen me. We've gone on.

[Trevor Noah]

Vacation. Joe sleeps three.

[Joseph Opio]

Hours. I sleep at most, three hours a day.

[Eugene]

Yeah. Well, he.

[Trevor Noah]

Has. I think you have that gene that. I spoke to a doctor who works in, like, gene editing, and he told me that there's some people who are genetically predisposed to not needing sleep. I think you're one of those people. Cause I've been with. Remember we went to the World cup.

[Joseph Opio]

Together? We've gone to.

[Trevor Noah]

Two. Two World Cups.

[Joseph Opio]

Actually. Russia and.

[Trevor Noah]

Qatar. You know, people can tell you who they are all they want. When you spend almost 24 hours a day with them over a certain period of time, the cracks start to show. I went with this guy. We went to every game, and then we went to events afterwards. And then in the morning, we did something else. And the. This man does not sleep. And he's fine with it, like, three, four hours a night, maximum. But more than that, to Dave's point, even when we couldn't get those hours sleep, I was.

[Joseph Opio]

Grumpy. I.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Remember. What did he sound like when he was.

[Joseph Opio]

Grumpy? I remember. No, he would just refuse. We went shooting, and he just went like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we went. We went, yeah, I have to get my beauty sleep. And I was like, I never said beauty. Okay, well, I never said it in your tone. Now you see. Now you see how I feel when you do me. I go like, I don't sound like that. And you go like, no, Joe sounds like this. That's how. That's exactly how it feels. That's exactly how it feels. For me, it's. For me, it's simple, Eugene. For me, this. Because I've explained it to Trevor, and he tried this, and he had a. He had a terrible time. So for me, the way I look at sleep is a go, right? I'm up. I'm up. And then I go like, oh, crap, it's two. I have work tomorrow. Okay? I can squeeze in two more hours at least. Okay? Two more hours of doing fun stuff. Then I go, oh, I have good sleep because I have function. The same way you eat food. Some people don't enjoy food, but they eat it because they need it for sustenance. So for me, the way I sleep is. I realize you don't enjoy.

[Trevor Noah]

Sleep.

[Joseph Opio]

Sleep. What you enjoy is the act of falling to sleep. What you enjoy is. This is the weirdest promise. What you enjoy is the promise of.

[Trevor Noah]

Sleep. This is the weirdest thing Joe.

[Joseph Opio]

Does.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. Just wait. Just.

[Joseph Opio]

Wait. So for me, I sleep three.

[Trevor Noah]

Hours. The weirdest thing Joe.

[Joseph Opio]

Does. I sleep three. It's not weird at all. It makes sense. I.

[Trevor Noah]

Sleep. Tell the people what you do, but every other.

[Joseph Opio]

Hour. Every hour I set an.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Alarm. Every.

[Joseph Opio]

Hour? Yes. So I go to bed at 4, sit down for 5, sit down for 6, sit down for 7. So I wake up every hour. Dave, stop sniggering like you're in maximum security. Yeah, no, no, listen. So I wake up. So at. When I wake up at four, at five rather, I go like, oh my God, I have to go to work, right? Then I go like, oh, no, I still have two more hours. You know that feeling when you're alarmed? That thing, the promise of most things. So I have that.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Feeling. Reset to accept your.

[Joseph Opio]

Excitement. I get it. So I simulate that. So I go like, yes. Oh, I have two more hours. Hours. So then I enjoy the process of going back to sleep. Then I wake up an hour later and I go like, oh man, I didn't. I have to go. Then I go like, oh my God, I have another hour.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Right?

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. Then I go back to sleep. Then I wake up. Now I'm enjoying sleep. I'm actively enjoying it. Then by the time I feel, I think this way it works. By the time I wake up, actually I really wake up to actually go to work. I feel like I've had more sleep than I was supposed.

[Eugene]

To.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Up. Yeah, you're. It's not strange at all. Cuz some people, she thinks it's.

[Joseph Opio]

Strange. It's.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Not. Let's say, you know that today you're going to need $200. There's people who withdraw $1,000 and every time they spend they still have a lot.

[Joseph Opio]

Left. Cuz you think, oh, I've used.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Up the 200 instead of imaginary.

[Joseph Opio]

Things. Got a half.

[Trevor Noah]

800. Yes, yes, I understand this, but where the analogy falls apart is there's no REM and deep sleep in your wallets. I'm saying the thing you are.

[Joseph Opio]

Doing, these are white people.

[Trevor Noah]

American. This is alien, my friend. No, this is human being.

[Joseph Opio]

Things. No, but also remember Trevor, you know this. Remember I'm the one guy.

[Trevor Noah]

Who. I tried.

[Joseph Opio]

This. Yes, you remember I tried this. But you have to build up with this.

[Trevor Noah]

Yo. Build up to.

[Joseph Opio]

What? Yes, I've done this since. I've done this since I was a.

[Trevor Noah]

Teenager. Yeah, when you're in boarding school, do not try this. Whoever you are at home, do not try.

[Eugene]

This. Also at home. I would like to reiterate that this is true. You know, you often probably watch a lot of podcasts and a lot of information where people are doing, tell you about the research that they did on sleep. You know, the research that they did on happiness, the research that they. This is the. This is.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Real. He's answered your guys questions where you said, how do you maintain such happiness? And you've never seen him there. He's told.

[Eugene]

You. No, but.

[Trevor Noah]

That'S. I wouldn't recommend that. But this, this isn't something that people couldn't.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Recommend. No, no, but what I'm saying is. What he's saying is he's built up the.

[Trevor Noah]

Muscle. No, I get that, but I'm saying you can't build up that muscle, no matter who you.

[Eugene]

Are. Yes, you.

[Joseph Opio]

Can'T. What do you.

[Trevor Noah]

Mean? No, no, no, no, no. Let me. Okay, let's break it into two parts. There's one part which is how you perceive life. The other part is.

[Eugene]

Physiological. Okay, you can't. I don't drink water because I think.

[Joseph Opio]

Water. No, I drink just enough water for.

[Trevor Noah]

Sustenance. Yes, but what I'm saying is. I'm saying most human beings on this planet, most are unable to sleep for three hours a day and function. It's.

[Joseph Opio]

Just. You can't do it because they want to sleep in or three hours in.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

One. Yeah, but there's people in war zones who do.

[Trevor Noah]

It. Yeah, but they don't come out right. Remember, Remember the ability. Remember the ability to do something? It's like some people who have a greater lung capacity, like, what's his name, the swimmer? Michael Phelps. Right. Produces less lactic acid than the average, so it's genetic. So when you are doing something that's genetic, you sort of can't people. You can't give people advice on that thing because they can't do it. Like if Michael Phelps said to you, well, what I do is I just don't make as much lactic acid and then my muscles don't burn for me, the big.

[Joseph Opio]

Thing. But can I tell you why? No, no.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

No. How do.

[Trevor Noah]

You. No, but that's.

[Joseph Opio]

Separate. Okay, so can I tell you how. How for me, it came up and it came up by accident almost. So when we were in boarding school in Uganda. Remember boarding school is like.

[Eugene]

Military. Can I tell you how I thought it came up before I thought. The way I thought it came up is because you're from Uganda, which is a poor country, you thought you had to pay for sleep and so you could only.

[Joseph Opio]

Afford. And I apologize. That's why I said, he's Ugandan, slandering our country. No, so here's. Okay, no, here's the.

[Trevor Noah]

Thing.

[Joseph Opio]

So. So when we're in boarding school, remember, it was like military it was like prison.

[Trevor Noah]

Right? Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. So you have to go study, do this. Everything is like prison. So the only time we had was because we used to go for prep, which is like you study after hours, like so we would go for prep from 7 to. Because you spend the whole day studying, studying. Now you have to read, do self reading. So we'd go for prep from 7 to 9, then would come out then. Now you have to go and prepare to go to bed. And because I loved soccer so much and I loved sports so much, we used to wait for midnight to listen to BBC Sports on radio, which was illegal because you couldn't bring in a radio, but we found a way. So BBC Sports was like, that was our thing. Me and a group of other football like soccer loving guys. So I would listen to Bibi Sports to hear the roundup of the news. What happened in the Premier League, what happened in the Champions League. Then from. It would end at around midnight 30. Then from midnight 30 everyone else is sleeping. Midnight 30 to like 3. Now we are discussing what happened. You know, so calm, like you discussed. So discussing, discussing, discussing. This was our moment where I went like, oh, now we're in control of our moment. And then we go to bed at around four, Then you have work up at six. And we used to do this because BBC Sports was there every.

[Trevor Noah]

Day.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. And we used to do this every day. Now I don't know whether the other guys kept it.

[Eugene]

Up. They're dead.

[Joseph Opio]

Probably. Yes. But the thing is, you guys.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Were able to do it as a.

[Joseph Opio]

Group.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes. So that's.

[Trevor Noah]

Conditioning. I think maybe you're not hearing what I'm saying. I'm not disputing the merits of conditioning. It is possible for a human being to do things that they couldn't do before by doing something repeatedly. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying there is an extra element that now creates what we call the super athlete or the. There'll be people who have memories that are outsized. There are people who'll be able to jump or run faster because their muscles twitch in a different way. So I'm saying you have that for sleep. But what's more impressive to me because genes are genes, you don't choose them. What's more impressive to me, and I think it's to. What Dave was alluding to.

[Eugene]

Is.

[Trevor Noah]

You see, you, you dismissed it very quickly as like, I have a positive attitude because my life's going well. I work at the Daily show and I live in America and I, I Got to do. Yeah, but I'm like, But you've constantly taken that framing, even when the winning is not apparent. Does that make sense? So now it seems obvious because you work at the Daily Show. And now it seems obvious because you work in New York and you're in America and you, You. So then it's like, oh, that's like an obvious. But if I took the Daily show away from you, it would affect.

[Joseph Opio]

Me because you would still go, yeah, I was me without the.

[Trevor Noah]

Daily. You see. So you'd go like, ah, man, I'm still.

[Joseph Opio]

Winning.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. Then I go like, okay, and I'll kick you out of.

[Joseph Opio]

America. I would go like, I was dope here before.

[Trevor Noah]

America. There you go, you see, you're still winning. Then I go like, okay, you also can't travel the world. I'm going to kick you back to.

[Joseph Opio]

Uganda. I was happy. No.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay. No, but this is. Wait, wait. This is what I'm trying to show you. So I go, like, I'm going to take that away from you. I'm also going to take away all the money you've earned in your.

[Joseph Opio]

Life. I was happy when I had no.

[Trevor Noah]

Money. There you go. Do you see what I'm saying? So this is like what I'm trying to get to. And this is what, this is what's always fascinated me about you as a person. You've helped, by the way you've helped me. I've even told you, you've helped me with this tremendously. Because before I met you, I used to succumb to the idea of a failure or a sadness that I had imposed on myself. One of my. One of my favorite memories. This, this one. This was the first time you did it to me was we were walking home from the Daily show and we had just started. We were like a few months in. It was a Friday afternoon. We're walking down 11th Avenue in New York. Traffic is backed up, so it's bumper to bumper. Everyone is there honking away, cars going crazy. I don't hear any of this. The only thing I can hear in my head is the fact that we're having a terrible time at the show because the ratings are bad. Jon Stewart has death left. We've lost 30% of the viewers. Things were terrible. It's like, man, are we ever gonna be able to make this work? Here we are, some random Africans. I'm hosting the show to Americans. I sound like Joe. Do you know what I mean? So I'm there on tv, and.

[Joseph Opio]

I'm like, ah, welcome to the Daily.

[Trevor Noah]

Show. Ah, can you believe it? We used to get hate mail because people would say, like, why do I.

[Joseph Opio]

Say.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah? They'll say like, why do I say like words.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Incorrectly? Like.

[Trevor Noah]

Aluminum.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. Not just.

[Trevor Noah]

Aluminum. Yeah. But that's like an obvious controversy. Oh yeah. Controversy and controversy because. Because Americans say. Yeah, which.

[Joseph Opio]

One? Controversy who used to go like, why'd you say it.

[Trevor Noah]

Again? And I was like, but that's not how we say it. We would get letters. How can this person host the show when they don't even know the correct way to pronounce? So. So all these things are piling on. All these things are piling on. So we walk out of the building, it's a Friday, so we haven't done a show. And we're walking down the street and man, I like, I'm just feeling it, I'm feeling it. And the reason I'll never forget it is because around the same time, Leslie Jones had just done Ghostbusters, right? And so it was the all female reboot of Ghostbusters and she was getting a lot of hate online and people were saying terrible things about it, you know, cool. All of this, that, that was happening at exactly the same time. So we're walking out of the building. It's me and Joe. Joe is Joe, his chipper, normal self. So it's Joe on one side, car's on the other side. And then as we walk past the block of the Daily show, there was a woman in a BMW. It was a drop.

[Joseph Opio]

Top.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. But like one of the, one of the older editions, maybe like a three series, but like maybe a decade back. And she honks and she goes, oh my God. Hey Trevor, I love you. I love the Daily Show. Yeah. I was like, ah, thank you, thank you very much. And I put my head down and I carried on, right? And I carried on what I was saying to Joe and I was like, man, this is so hard and I don't know if we're ever gonna crack this. And you know, it's. It feels like we're not getting anywhere. And like, ah, man, people don't like us just because of who we are. And how do we, how do we figure this out? And this is such a hard journey. And then she says that and I acknowledged her and then I carried on walking and I'll never forget, Joe stopped me like just before the end of the block. Cuz like I carried on. I was like, as I was saying, you know, it's so terrible, it's so this. Then Joe was Like, she was like, what are you doing? I was like, what do you mean? He's like, what are you. What are you doing? I said, what do you mean, what am I doing? He said, are you. Are you winning or losing in life? I was like, well, right. Right now I'm losing. Then he's like, you're losing? Then he's like, I'll never forget you turned. You stopped me. And you're like, oh, my God, you're losing. Then you're like. You're like, trevor, there was a woman in a BMW drop top screaming that she loves your show. No one paid her. No one asked her to be here. She told you this. He's like, but you're going to listen to the Internet. Here's a real human being telling you this to your face, but you're gonna listen to the Internet. Then he's like, ah. He's like, it's this Leslie Jones. She's headlining a summer blockbuster movie. She's achieved something that most actors will never get to do in their entire lives. But she's focusing on the tweets. You two are the same. You're choosing your misery. You're choosing to be unhappy despite the world showing you every opportunity to choose something else. Then he's like, if you're gonna choose that, you can't be my friend because I don't hang out with losers. Like, you know when someone speaks to you like you're in a movie? Because I was like, who says that in real life? You can't be my friend because I don't hang out with losers because. And then Joe went in classic Joe fashion. Joe was like. He's like. Because he's like. He's like. He's like, I don't know about you, but me, I'm hashtag winning. He's like, if you cannot see that you're hashtag winning. Ah, then you should walk away from the Daily Show. You must go home because you are a loser. Not because you are losing, but.

[Joseph Opio]

Because you have chosen to lose so.

[Trevor Noah]

You can make your choice. But I know I've chosen mine.

[Joseph Opio]

Because to take it back to me being a Ghana, working here, the wife. The way I used to think of it is how many comedians in South Africa would change places with Trevor in an instant if you told them they would host the Daily Show? And would Trevor be willing to go back to South Africa and be the comedian watching a South African comedian headlining this important show? So for me, the way I used to look at it is the.

[Trevor Noah]

Way you still look at.

[Joseph Opio]

It. Yeah. So Trevor had, like, there was one blogger in Salon. Salon Reform, who was always hammering Trevor. Hammering, like, oh, he's not Jon Stewart. This and this. And. And Trevor, you know, of course, you know, people on the Internet know this. And I used to go, like, but, Trevor, you have 200 people who come into the studio every day to watch your live show. People are turned away. People turned away. The studio audience, people turned away. There are 200 people minimum who come every day to watch you do a show. Why are you worried about one blogger? Why are you worried about one voice on the Internet? So for me, it's the thing I was saying about focusing on things. Same thing with Leslie Jones. You're opening one of the biggest movies. You're a black woman was, you know, the challenges of women in comedy. You know, challenges of black women in life and comedy. And you've made it finally at 50, right? She was. And you've made it finally in this hard world. And now you're fighting online with people and you're crying and they are making. Because they're being racist. I was like, if our. And I told you this, if I were Leslie Jones, I'd go, like, these tweets are upsetting me so much. I'm going to go and hang out with Tom Cruise right now. I'm going to go and jump in a private jet and go hang out. Will Smith, you've worked so hard, and now you're focusing on things that shouldn't matter. And for me, Trevant, I think.

[Trevor Noah]

You. It's funny. I told you a story. You know. You know, sometimes in life, things, I guess they just happen the way they're supposed to. You said that to me. I ended up at an SNL afterparty, which, by the way, I think I've only been to one in my life. It might be that one. I've never been to another one. I've never been bumped into. Leslie Jones. And I told her what you said, and I remember she messaged me like, a week or two after, and she's like, yo, I don't know who that guy is, but thank you for changing my whole perspective. Like, it's. But that's. What I mean is you don't. You don't get.

[Joseph Opio]

Like. I think the way you put. I. I feel like he's. He's out to put it, so you can't complain. And I think you said it.

[Trevor Noah]

Actually, you can do it. I'll tell you. I'll tell you on a small level how you even do it. We all love. We all love football, right? Not you, but we all love.

[Joseph Opio]

Football. What is he doing here.

[Trevor Noah]

Then? So we all love.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Football. Missing a deposition.

[Trevor Noah]

Really? And we watch. We watch our. We watch our favorite teams. We talk about the game on. My friends who support Man United now are in such a doldrum of despair that one of them, in a group text, said, I don't know what to tell my son anymore because I just bought him a Man United shirt. And when he asks me, daddy, what's going wrong? I don't know what to.

[Joseph Opio]

Say. Child.

[Trevor Noah]

Abuse. And this was, like, his depression and, like, multiple people. Men, you know, they'll look at me and go, man, I don't even want to talk about. But, like, with, like, a deep display, and I think a lot of football fans can. Can acknowledge going through this in some way, shape or form. Right? You're a Barcelona fan. When Messi left Barcelona and when you guys went through, like, one of the biggest slumps, I remember coming to you and poking away. This man looked at me with a joy that seemed honestly delusional, and he went, oh, man, rebuilding is gonna be fun. He's like, oh, you should see the kids coming up in the.

[Joseph Opio]

Academy. Mm, mm, mm, mm.

[Trevor Noah]

Mm. Oh, the world that we're getting ready. Then I was like, yeah, but you guys are terrible. Then you're like, yeah, but, oh, that means we're gonna rebuild this. That's what. Do you understand what I'm trying to say right.

[Joseph Opio]

Now?

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. Because now that's not a full. That's not a foregone. There is no guarantee that Barcelona will.

[Joseph Opio]

Get. I always look at it the same way when we lost to Liverpool.

[Trevor Noah]

Remember?

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. I go like, oh, but it was a great game. I don't. Because. Because also, soccer is entertainment. So for me, the way I look. And I think you said it. I think I'm borrowing from the thing you are doing at the Daily Show. I felt the thing you're doing at the Daily show when everything wasn't going great is you are complaining and bitching about a bird shitting on your Ferrari, but you have a Ferrari. How many other people would rather have. Because you can clean the bad poo off. You can clean the bird shit.

[Trevor Noah]

Off. Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. How many people would go, like, I would rather have that Ferrari with a bad pool, but at least I have a Ferrari. So people. Many times people focus on the bad pool instead of focusing on the Ferrari. And for me, I call it wasted.

[Trevor Noah]

Stress. You call it.

[Joseph Opio]

What? Wasted stress. Like, wasted stress. So when, for example, when I came to the Daily show, there was a writer who came and told me she had been writing there seven years. And she told me every day when they gave a script to write, she thought it was the last day at work. She thought she would write such a bad script, she'd get fired. And I used to go like, so wait, you've done this for seven years? Every day of those seven years, you haven't enjoyed this experience at all because you're stressed about losing this.

[Trevor Noah]

Thing?

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. And I was like, no. I told her no. If I lost the Daily Show, I would go like, oh, thank God. I'm going to get the Daily show better. I look at it the way, if you dated Beyonce, you can either spend the whole time or if you're married to Beyonce, you can either spend the whole time worrying that Beyonce is going to dump you, or you can enjoy it and go like, hey, if Beyonce dumps me, if Rihanna dumps me, I'll get something better than. Because I could get Rihanna. Why do I think she's the best I can get? That means I can get the same or better. And so it's that I feel like people spend. And I think it's also people do it because it's seen as a sign of adulting. Like, always worrying about stuff, always being anxious. And I don't believe in that because my mom told me, you should never grow up until you've grown up. You should never grow up. Then I'm like, oh, how will I know? She's like, you'll know, but don't grow up. Because we're always forced to grow up. Like, worried. In school, people always be worried. They go like, you kid, why are you worried? Just enjoy this experience again. At the Daily Show, I remember you hired this producer and after two weeks, she had never said anything in the meeting. And she comes to me and she goes like, yo, oh, can I have a word? And I went, oh, what's up? Then she went like, how do you. How come you confidently pitch jokes and texts in a meeting yet you have an accent? How come that doesn't, like, hold you back? Because me, every time I try to say something, I start second guessing myself. Oh, is it smart enough? Would I seem dumb? Oh, this. Then I told her, I don't think about that. I feel like I belong in the room because I'm in the room. I don't feel any less smart because of my accent. I feel. So then I told her, it's like. And again, wrong, wrong analogy I said. I said, it's like being on Epstein's Island. No one is going around going like, hey, what? Everyone assumes you're a billionaire celebrity and you.

[Trevor Noah]

Belong. Was this the analogy you used.

[Joseph Opio]

Then? I used. No, I use the analogy of like. I used.

[Eugene]

Illuminati. I was feeling you. You were changing.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

My. No, no.

[Eugene]

No. Looking at the world. Belong in the room, you.

[Joseph Opio]

Know? Then I'm like, okay.

[Eugene]

Cool. And that one, I'm. Then this.

[Joseph Opio]

Guy. Wow. No, listen. So I've updated it, but back then I said Illuminati.

[Trevor Noah]

If. Tell me the updated one, then what's the.

[Joseph Opio]

Updated. So if you're at Epin's.

[Trevor Noah]

Island. Island.

[Joseph Opio]

Bro. Okay, don't do.

[Trevor Noah]

That. Don't bring that juju.

[Joseph Opio]

Here. Okay, Let me say, if there is a billionaires club, okay, and you show up, no one is going to go to K this chicken. Everyone assumes you're a billionaire because you're there. So I told this girl, the fact that you're at a Daily show, everyone assumes you're.

[Trevor Noah]

Smart. So you have. So you have the opposite of imposter syndrome, is what you're.

[Joseph Opio]

Saying. Because I don't understand imposter syndrome. Because I'm going like, you can. You might say damn stuff, but no one will assume you're dumb because you're in the.

[Trevor Noah]

Room. But what if they do assume you're.

[Joseph Opio]

Dumb? Why would.

[Trevor Noah]

They? No, but what if they.

[Joseph Opio]

Do? Then I don't care. Because I don't care what people think about.

[Trevor Noah]

Me. Ah, there you.

[Joseph Opio]

Go. I.

[Trevor Noah]

Don'T. Okay, now, there you go. Now you get an interesting.

[Joseph Opio]

Thing. I've said this, too. Like comedians, when they go on stage and they are nervous, I got like, I don't care if I bomb because I know I'm funny. I've made people laugh all my life. If people. So, no.

[Trevor Noah]

No. So this is actually what I'm trying to get to. You see, this is. This is not. Now we've hit the nail on the head, actually. We've gone deeper here. How often would you say you buy.

[Joseph Opio]

Clothes? Never. My sisters buy me clothes, but I've never gone.

[Trevor Noah]

Shopping.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. And they only buy me clothes because they use my credit card. So they're guilty. So they go like, let's buy him something. Let's give him.

[Trevor Noah]

Something. But you.

[Joseph Opio]

Literally. Yeah. I've.

[Trevor Noah]

Never. I've never, ever, ever heard you say the phrase, I'm going shopping or I'm going to buy clothes ever, ever.

[Joseph Opio]

Ever. Doesn't interest me rolling with.

[Trevor Noah]

You. Anyone who knows you knows you are notoriously the guy who will be wearing, like, free T shirts from, like, the local hardware store and local real estate agencies. And, like, that's you. And I remember one day saying to you, this. This is. This is a crazy one. I was going on a date one day, and then Joe and I walked back to the apartment. You might have been there as well, but we walked back to the apartment. And then Joe went. I was like, ah, let me go get changed. Then Joe was like, changed for what? I said, I'm gonna go to a date. And then you went, but you're already dressed. Then I said, no, no, I'm gonna dress up for the date. And this broke your mind. Like, I literally remember you going, but. But you. You're dressed. Then I said, yes, but I want to dress for the date. And then you basically.

[Eugene]

Said, why.

[Trevor Noah]

Are you trying to appear the way that you are not? Why not just show up the way that you are? And then I was like, well, then. But then you're not putting your best foot forward. And then you said something that has stuck with me forever. You basically said, if you're gonna go on a date as your best self, meet somebody as your best self, have them fall in love with you as your best self, and then turn into your real self. How can you blame them when they stop liking you you like, versus showing up as your real self with not your best clothes, with not your best vibe, with not your best energy, with not just you, not terrible, just you. And then I said, yeah, but then what if they don't like you? And then you said, well, then they don't like me. At least now I know that they don't like me versus they like me for who I'm not. And that's. That's a weird. You don't understand how weird that is on an alien level. That's what I'm saying is don't care is, like, the wrong phrase sometimes. Cause it makes it seem like. Cause you're a caring person. Do you get what I'm.

[Joseph Opio]

Saying?

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. Like, if someone said, joe, you make me uncomfortable, you wouldn't be like, I don't care what you think about me. That's not the same.

[Joseph Opio]

Thing. No, but that's the trap, though. Cause the thing is, no matter when people go like, I don't care, the next logical progression of that is they turn into.

[Trevor Noah]

Jackasses.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. So they turn into maybe Trump People take. So when you have the ability not to care, people abuse it. Does that make sense? So they go like, I don't care what anyone thinks. And they think that's a license to be cruel, to be callous, to be. So the trick is in avoiding that trap. You don't care about what people say or what people think of you, but you still care enough to be a civil human being. Does that make.

[Trevor Noah]

Sense? You don't care about what they think. You care about what you.

[Joseph Opio]

Think. Yes. What I think. I have to be able to look at myself in a mirror. So if I went on a date and lied to a girl. Not lying, but if I dressed up or. Also, I'm putting too much stock in this girl. I'm just meeting you. Why do I care that much what you think? Why? And also, like, if you don't come into my life, then you're not in my. You're not in my life before, you're not in my life now. Nothing has.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Changed. It's like this quote where it says, if you care so much about what people think, you'd actually be surprised at how much. How little they think of.

[Trevor Noah]

You.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. I literally used to tell this to my mom. Used to tell me, hey, why are you going out like that? People tell me this at the Daily show because remember when he told me Trevor always invites me to raid his wardrobe? Come and get. Cause we have the same shoe size and all that. Come and get whatever you want. And he invited me, and I just took out one pair of sneakers and went like, yo, that's all. You've seen his house full of.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Sneakers. I'm like, yeah, no, I've.

[Joseph Opio]

Never. Then I went like, I'll just take one.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Pair. Of course.

[Joseph Opio]

Never. Why would I have. No. Cause I was never invited you because you don't have the same body type. So here's the thing. So he invites me and he goes, you're only taking one. Then I'm like, yeah, one is enough. And I've been wearing the same. Remember when you went like, you're still putting on the same shoe every day? And I went like, yeah, Because I don't have to wake up and think about what I'm going to dress up. I know what I'm going to dress up in. Cause the shoe is there. And so for me, the way I look at it is this is. I'll put it like this. I have so much aura. I don't need to add aura. I need to give Trev a chance. Because if I add too much aura now with clothes and how I look and this, Trevor has no chance. So when you have status, you don't need to put on status symbols. I don't need to wear a watch. I don't need to drive the latest car. I am enough, if that makes sense. So to the point of I don't care what people think. So my mom used to go like, how are you going to get out dressed? The point you were making, why would you go out dressed like that? What would people think? Or like, yo, you put on that yesterday. You put on that shoe yesterday, or you put on that coat yesterday. People would think you're rebounding the clothes. And then I still. If someone loves me so much, they notice what I put on yesterday and today, then they are such big fans, I shouldn't really care what they think. They're already such big fans because I don't notice what people wear. I literally don't. I don't wear what I don't notice. What if. If people. I don't notice if you look different, if you change your hairstyle that much, I just go like, oh, I'm not bamboozled by the. What you are. I like who you are. So it's the same thing. You know, I have formal. You know, I'm not a. Yeah, you're a formalist. I'm a formal. Apart from when. Oh, which book would I read? We did this. Remember when you had. When you taped your special Netflix.

[Trevor Noah]

Special?

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. And we went back to your place and we had, like, a small gathering, you, your team friends, and we're having a great time. It was a Saturday. I remember we're having an amazing time. You know, small party of close people. We're having fun. We're talking and all this. And then around 2am you received a phone call from Dave Chappelle. And he was, okay, I'm at the SNL after party and Solange was.

[Trevor Noah]

Performing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was when Beyonce and Yes.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. So then Dave Chappelle goes like, solange is performing or performed. So Beyonce and Jazzy are here. Do you want to come through? And then you turn to everyone and we, like, guys, Beyonce, Dave Chappelle, Solange, Jay Z at SND party. Should we hit it? And everyone was like, hell, yeah. And I was like, I'm not leaving. Because I went like, we have a good thing going here. This thing is amazing. Everyone was vibing. We're having a great time. Then everyone goes like us. We are bouncing. Joe, you're crazy. Apart from the people I was talking to who. We were having a great time. There were like, two girls and, you know, and we're having a great time. So you guys bounce, we stay because we're having a great time, getting a great time. And then you guys come back 45 an hour, 45 minutes an hour later and you go like your job. It was dead out there. So I never have that thing of oh, what is a grass greener? And this. And no, I just, I just love being in the moment, enjoying the thing. And so to that, to that, to that point, I've never seen the. I've never seen the. I've never had the urge to value ad to.

[Trevor Noah]

Myself. Don't press anything. We've got more. What now? After.

[Joseph Opio]

This. Hey everybody, it's Rob Lowe here. If you haven't heard, I have.

[Trevor Noah]

A podcast that's called Literally with Rob Lowe. And basically it's conversations I've had that really make you feel like you're.

[Joseph Opio]

Pulling up a chair at an intimate dinner between myself and people that I.

[Trevor Noah]

Admire, like Aaron Sorkin or Tiffany Haddish.

[Joseph Opio]

Demi Moore, Chris Pratt, Michael.

[Trevor Noah]

J.

[Joseph Opio]

Fox. There are new episodes out every.

[Trevor Noah]

Thursday, so subscribe please and listen wherever you get your.

[Rob Lowe]

Podcasts. Planning a trip this year? Travel smarter and connect deeper by learning the local language with Rosetta stone. With over 30 years of experience, Rosetta Stone's immersive, intuitive method helps you live the language, not just memorize it. Choose from over 25 languages including Spanish, French, Japanese and more. Their truaxent speech recognition technology gives real time feedback to help perfect your pronunciation. No translations, just natural learning that builds from words to phrases to full conversations. Whether you have five minutes or an hour, you can learn anytime on desktop or mobile. Get a lifetime membership and unlock all 25 languages. Learn as much as you want whenever you want. Rosetta Stone Learn confidently. Connect authentically. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential. Now listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit Rosetta Stone.com pod50 to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to Rosetta Stone.com pod50 and start learning.

[Trevor Noah]

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[Joseph Opio]

Which has converted into over 40,000 sales for our pet insurance policies. I am the CEO of Spot Pet.

[Trevor Noah]

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[Eugene]

TikTokads. Can I have one more.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Question?

[Eugene]

The. Speaking of alien things, how many. What would. How many cruises would you say you've been.

[Joseph Opio]

On? Too many to count. Too many that I haven't. Personal cruise.

[Trevor Noah]

Consultant. Yeah, we have to, like, give this context. So there's one thing that Joe loves more than anything in the world, that's football. If I was to put it in order, I would say family football. And then in third place, cruise.

[Joseph Opio]

Ships, they're very close to.

[Trevor Noah]

That. This man loves going on a cruise ship more than any human being I've ever met in my life. If you've been on a cruise ship, you've probably been on it with this.

[Eugene]

Man. Just give a number just to.

[Joseph Opio]

Show. No. Cause I try to go every break we.

[Eugene]

Have.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay. Under the Daily show, we have a bunch of breaks. We just had 15 weeks, so. No, no, no. We have like two weeks or three weeks. So we just came off a month. The one big, beautiful.

[Trevor Noah]

Break.

[Joseph Opio]

Okay. So I try to go because I come from a landlocked.

[Trevor Noah]

Country. Yeah, Just tell us the.

[Eugene]

Number. We're not near the.

[Joseph Opio]

Number. So I've been on probably. Wow. More than.

[Trevor Noah]

25. More than.

[Joseph Opio]

20. More than. And I think that's underestimating it.

[Eugene]

Also. The. At the time they started. This is not your whole.

[Joseph Opio]

Life. Yeah, no, no, I started in.

[Trevor Noah]

2016.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yeah. Going on.

[Joseph Opio]

Cruises.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes. How did you discover cruise? Did you watch Love.

[Joseph Opio]

Boat? No, because I just. We have, like, the Daily show right next to Daily Show. There's a cruise ship.

[Trevor Noah]

Terminal.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. And I've.

[Trevor Noah]

Always. There's also a hustler strip club, but you got into one and not the other.

[Eugene]

No. Okay, can we just talk one.

[Trevor Noah]

Second?

[Eugene]

Pause. Okay. I just need. Sorry, this might be a waste of time. I just need everybody. I'm.

[Joseph Opio]

Saying. And they've.

[Eugene]

Been. I just need everyone to just. No, no, I'm not saying me, me. I'm saying I'd like this to. I'd like people to take a moment and just do this. Think of when 2016 was. It was.

[Joseph Opio]

Recently. And there was also the.

[Eugene]

Pandemic. Yeah. Just think there's a pandemic minus three years. So let's move that to.

[Trevor Noah]

2019. Yeah.

[Eugene]

Okay. Let's move it to 2019. Think of what a cruise is. You've got in your head. There's a ship, there's passengers, there's the whole setting A sale, shrimp.

[Joseph Opio]

Buffet.

[Eugene]

Okay? Now if someone says deviled eggs. I've been in the last six years on 25 cruises, and I'm not a cruise worker, not a captain of a.

[Joseph Opio]

Ship. You know, I am the captain now that I've been the.

[Eugene]

Captain. Now, that would require. In the way you're saying, there's a certain happiness, you know, like why he's happy. The questions you've been asking, you know, that would require some deep analysis. Do you know what I mean? It's not a simple.

[Trevor Noah]

Thing. Yes. So what is.

[Joseph Opio]

It? Okay, so one quick thing is when you have a Ugandan passport, every airport you go to, you're almost taken to a corner randomly just for some question. A cruise, you can move to multiple countries while avoiding that hassle of waiting at the airport, being taken out of line, having to apply for visas. Because some cruises, most cruises actually are. If you're on a cruise ship, you don't need a visa because they expect you to come.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Back. International.

[Joseph Opio]

Waters. Yes. So it's a very efficient and great way to travel to different countries without the hassle. But also, I come from a landlocked country. We've never, I'd never encountered big waters like that. We have a lake, we have a river, but that's.

[Trevor Noah]

It.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. So when I came, I went like, oh, this is amazing. And then I also don't like, you know, this about me. I don't like the minor stresses of thinking about food and this and the cruise ship, basically, it's like a kindergarten. But for travelers, everything is catered for, food is there, you know, you don't have to think of things, oh, now I have to go, oh, where can I find restaurants and all this and all that? So I like that. But I've been to so many today's question that I've been invited many times to go meet the captain. Because, you know, when you're a frequent traveler, so to speak, they.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Hold. Frequent.

[Joseph Opio]

Sailor. Yes, sailor. So they hold the reception for.

[Eugene]

You.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold.

[Joseph Opio]

On.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes. So when you're a frequent.

[Joseph Opio]

Sailor.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes. They give you a special hat and a special reception, and then you.

[Joseph Opio]

Go in, you know, you get to.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Meet. They pull you out of the line.

[Joseph Opio]

Still. Yes. Yeah. You know. Yeah. They hold like a.

[Eugene]

Thing.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. No, no. They go like, we have a thing. We're going to meet the day people. They, you know. No way. So then you. So then the first one, the first one I went to, it was like the captain, his crew, and then the passengers had been brought. Were like, all white and.

[Trevor Noah]

Old.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. Cruise very old. Like, because they had been. Over the course of their years.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. Because they have been on 10 cruises in their.

[Joseph Opio]

Lifetime.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. But which is like, that's. Now you are. You are like, super vip because they were like, in your lifetime, you've been on 10 cruises. Meanwhile, here's.

[Joseph Opio]

Joseph. So then I turned up three.

[Trevor Noah]

Years in 12 cruises.

[Joseph Opio]

Deep. I turned up and they went like. And because of probably the way I was dressed, because it was cocktail, but I was dressed the way I want. And I think they went like, oh, this must be one of the. You know. Oh, yes. So I turn. Yeah, exactly. Somali pirates raiding the ship. So I turn up, and then I was the only black guy there. 1. I was the only guy under 40. And so they go like, whoa. So how did you end up? They were really surprised. Every chance I get. Every chance I get. So for me, I do this. And I do this with food as well. If I find something I enjoy, I do that thing and I'll do it. I won't try to, like. Like, venture.

[Trevor Noah]

Out. You don't value.

[Joseph Opio]

It. Yeah. Same thing with, like, when I eat. When I. When I go out with you, I eat the same Indian food every.

[Trevor Noah]

Time.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. And you sometimes go like, oh, George. And I go like, no, But I found the thing that I.

[Trevor Noah]

Like.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. So why should I try to have found the thing that works for me? And so I feel like it could also be like, you know, when the world was brought up, because my mom again, to go back to her. So my mom taught me, like, certain things. One of the biggest lessons she gave me, I remember one of the biggest lessons, and she doesn't even remember it. Because mothers are like that. They say things and they don't think about them. So when you are teenagers, you know, you start sneaking around. Boys start sneaking around with girls, you know, corners around.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. And my mom, I remember, told me, and I was too young to even think about girls like that. And he was like, hey, if you ever want to get a girl, please don't be like these friends of yours who we see at the side of gates, you know, in dark corners. Bring the girl home. Bring the girl home and let's meet her. And so she told me, whatever decision you make, it should always be for you. That makes sense. Whatever decision, she told me, you can. If you want to do drugs, if you want to rob a bank, if you want to beat up teachers, do it for you. I'll back you 100%. Of the way. The only thing I never want you to do is to try to pass the blame. So when you're like sewing, sewing, sewing, when the ripping comes, I don't want you to go like, oh, I was peer pressured by my friends to smoke or to do this or to do that. You have to own everything. So when, when the consequences come, I want you to go like, okay, I knew this was, was coming. So when I go like, oh, I love cruises and people like, oh. People laugh. Or I go like, no, but I'm comfortable with my.

[Eugene]

Choice. We don't love. We are.

[Joseph Opio]

Fascinated. Okay, no, people are.

[Trevor Noah]

Fascinated. I.

[Joseph Opio]

Laugh.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. I don't laugh at.

[Eugene]

You. I laugh because.

[Trevor Noah]

It'S. Because it's a crazy.

[Joseph Opio]

Thing. No. So I go like every decision I make, if you told me, hey, let's go Jay Z and Beyonce and these people, I'll go like, okay, now I won't go. So I won't have form. I won't regret so.

[Trevor Noah]

Everything. I turned down a trip that we were going to go on once because there was a football tournament on tv. Then Joe was like, no, thank you. Then I was like, joe, we're going to go travel. We're going to go to Costa Rica. Then he was like, he's like, are they going to have all the games? I was like, it's Costa Rica. He's like, yeah, but I'm not interested in Costa Rica. I'm interested in the. What tournament was.

[Joseph Opio]

It? It was the Confederate.

[Trevor Noah]

Cup. It was the Confed Cup. Not the World cup, the Confed Cup. Joe was like, ah, you guys will have to miss me because I have three games a day. Oh, man. Enjoy your trip to Costa Rica. Let me ask you, let me ask you this before we let you go because I haven't seen you in a few weeks. Now, what is happening in Uganda that like Trump is deporting people to Uganda? Like, why is like Uganda the threat? What do we not know about Uganda? That that's become like.

[Joseph Opio]

The. Well, for starters, we gave you Zoran.

[Eugene]

Mamdani.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. I mean, in Trump's book, that's already the original sin. No, I'll put it like. So I went to, I went back to Uganda during the one big beautiful break, I went back.

[Trevor Noah]

Home.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. And first of all, I thought, and I was thinking this because I had to come back. So I came back and I was thinking, Trump must have been so happy to see me go because it must have been like, they are self deporting now back to Uganda. And then I surprised him and came back, and that's why he died and then rose again. I thought they were gone, but now they're sleeping.

[Eugene]

Back.

[Joseph Opio]

No. So Uganda is funny in that I think Uganda is a huge ally of the United.

[Trevor Noah]

States.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. Fun enough. Like, we help them in Somalia. Cause our troops are in Somalia pursuing American interests. And Uganda is a poor country, so money exchanges hands, obviously. So I think Trump, like, made a deal with the Ugandan government to take these, like, people he wants to.

[Trevor Noah]

Deport.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. Rwanda made the same deal. Funny enough, with.

[Trevor Noah]

Britain.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. Yeah, yeah. So they make this deal. Do you.

[Trevor Noah]

Know. Do you know what the deal. Wait, but what is the deal? Is the deal that they're gonna go to a prison in.

[Joseph Opio]

Uganda? No.

[Trevor Noah]

No. Because they literally said to one of the people, they said, you have two.

[Joseph Opio]

Choices.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. Yeah, they said, you have two choices. You can go to prison or you can go to Uganda. Then I went, I know Uganda. I know people from Uganda. What am I missing? That your punishment is.

[Joseph Opio]

Uganda? No, but I'll say this. All jokes aside, Uganda is a very hospitable country. So we have. We.

[Trevor Noah]

Have. But that's what I'm.

[Joseph Opio]

Saying. But here's the thing. We have one of the most. No, but I don't mean hospitable. Like, the way you think about it, we have one of the biggest. When it comes to taking in.

[Trevor Noah]

Refugees.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. We are one of the biggest. Probably the biggest country. We're taking refugees from the Congo. We're taking refugees from Sudan. We took in Nelson Mandela and the ANC activity. We always are very welcoming. We took in people from Afghanistan. Even if one of the writers at the show made a joke that they would show up and go, like, we thought we had it bad. We need to go back. But the thing is, Ugandans are very welcoming. We are very. We're taking refugees, like, by the.

[Trevor Noah]

Millions.

[Joseph Opio]

Wow. We don't have. We're taking Eritreans. We're taking. We don't have, like, the. What do you say? Xenophobia. We don't go like, oh, that's.

[Trevor Noah]

A South African in.

[Joseph Opio]

Africa. Like, no, but even America.

[Trevor Noah]

Has. Yeah, but I'm saying the top.

[Joseph Opio]

Like. Yeah, no, no. Ugandans are very. And I think it's our. It's because of. Because, remember, Uganda is also the only country, I think, in Africa which wasn't colonized. We were a protectorate. We basically invited the British over, went, okay, guys, come and how hospitable you are. Yes. And then they went like, but we're colonizing Kenya. And when, like, Then we're like, okay, this is going to be a situationship. And we didn't even fight. We never fought for independence. They went like, we're bouncing. This whole colonial project is not working. We're bouncing. And we're like, okay, bye. Bye. We are not that kind of people. Ugandans are very chill people, very hospitable, very nice people. I don't know what happened with Dave, but very. Probably South Africa. South Africa. But no. Very, very. So we. We are open to coming in. We are very open. And Uganda, fun enough. And I'll think about this with Zoran. Uganda always finds itself such a small country. We find ourselves always at the, like. I think we always find ourselves in, like, historic.

[Trevor Noah]

Moments. Oh.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. You're always getting.

[Trevor Noah]

Involved. The nexus of things that are happening.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. So for a small country. So I was telling. I was telling. I was telling a Jewish friend. I've told. You've seen me tell these Jewish friends. I can never be anti Semitic. I can't. I can never be. Because we offered them the Jews before they went to.

[Eugene]

Palestine.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. They were supposed to come to Uganda. The British literally told them, you can go to.

[Trevor Noah]

Uganda. This was post World War.

[Joseph Opio]

II. Yeah, post World War.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

II. So Israel could have been in.

[Joseph Opio]

Uganda. I could have been the Palestinian, you know, activist. So they. They were actually this close to coming. And then they went like, ah, sorry, no, Uganda is very fertile. Very nice place. And they were like, no, we're going to the desert. So then they go to Palestine. Another moment of Uganda being like in a weird global flashpoint. They hijack this plane, they fly all over the world. No one wants to take in a hijacked plane. IDI Amin goes like, I'll have them let them come and refuel. Because IDI Amin was Muslim and he identified with the Palestinian cause. So they come in and this is what I'm telling. This story is going to become apparent in a short time. So they come in and then. You've heard of the movie Radon Entebe Radiotepe is when the Israeli, like, commandos came to rescue the Israeli people who had hostages. Yes. Who were on the plane. So they come in and guess who was leading that.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Mission.

[Joseph Opio]

Zohan. No. Benjamin. Bibi Netanyahu's brother. Wow. He was the commander. He led that mission. And so they come and rescue the hostages, kill the Palestinian terrorists and all that. And then as they are leaving, a Ugandan sniper takes out the commander of the Israel.

[Trevor Noah]

Commandos. Yo.

[Joseph Opio]

What? She takes out Bibi Netanyahu's brother. And that's the incident that, when you read Bibi Netanyahu's book, that's the incident that radicalized.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Him. That's his villain.

[Joseph Opio]

Story. That's his origin story. That's his origin story. His brother was killed in Uganda because he had come to rescue the movie. This is a very huge. If you talk about. If you talk to Jews. If you talk to Jews, this is a very big historical moment in their life. Like the raid on Entebbe. And now after all that, now Zoran is causing chaos. Where is he from? Uganda. For such a small country, we always. So now and then, next thing you hear, Trump, most people don't know this. The story about Uganda was supposed to be the next.

[Trevor Noah]

Palestine.

[Joseph Opio]

It's. I think it came down to one vote. What the Zionist, you know, league sat and they went like, nope, we want to go to the country were promised and all that. But Uganda, because the British controlled Uganda, so they were going to go. And then now you have this. And then Bibi Netanyahu. So all this Bibi nature, like the pain he has, the radicalization, the monster he has become is all because his brother, his oldest brother. You can imagine how like.

[Trevor Noah]

Damn. Yes, damn. Uganda.

[Joseph Opio]

Huh? You're not gonna believe this. It's almost like swordfish. Oh, my goodness. Eugene is like, what's happening right now? No, no, I'm just like. But also like, look at the story we have with South Africa. Yeah, the story we have. Most of the activists were in Uganda, like during. Cause. Cause the south and Central countries. South and Central African countries used to sell them out to the apartheid government. And the only country, because Museveni was such a. Our president is such a Pan.

[Rob Lowe]

Africanist.

[Joseph Opio]

He. Yeah. Our national stadium is named after Mandela. Funny.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Enough. You know, what you're explaining about Uganda is so interesting. You know the story about how the French became the.

[Trevor Noah]

French?

[Unidentified Female Friend]

No. So during.

[Joseph Opio]

The. You weren't born like.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

That. During the Roman Empire machine rolling out in Europe, there was a small Germanic tribe that told the Romans that, you know what? I do that with us, we're going to self determine. We're going to tell ourselves what to do. They became the.

[Joseph Opio]

French. Oh.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay. Oh, this is the asterisks and oblix complex.

[Eugene]

Basically.

[Joseph Opio]

Right? Yes, yeah.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes. And then that's why when you speak your mind, they say you're being frank. And that's why the term franchising came from. When you run your own little operation within a big operation. Damn. Look at this. So Africa is Franks and franchise is Uganda. They Were able to self determine a lot of things and they were able to tell the big rolling out machine, which is, was the British colonizers that hold on, hold on. We're gonna do it our way. And that way no one ever wanted to do anything to.

[Joseph Opio]

Them. Yes, I always go. The way I think about it is I think Uganda is like the forest gump of like international global relations. We're always like in the middle of the middle, but we're so.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Small. You're humpty dumped in Puss in Boots. You were there when every fairy tale was coming to an.

[Joseph Opio]

End. You were like, yes, but I also think we're very like country. I think the thing you were saying or the thing Dev was asking about how I'm. Why I'm always happy. I think I'm lucky. I think, I think I'm a lucky guy. I genuinely think, yeah, like it's not a competition, but I think I'm one of the luckiest guys in the world. Everything, like, you know, everything I've done, you know, like, you know my story, like living lost, you know, I had a, I was a lawyer to become a comedian in Uganda, where there's no comedy ending up in New York meeting you, you said this, you said this. I remember you told me. Cause here's a funny story. So we start work, we hung out with Trevor, we start working together. You know, he starts, he goes like, oh, you know, I like your ideas. Let's work together. Then, you know, I get to meet his team. Then he goes, okay, how about you write for me. This was pre Daily Show. And I remember, I told Trevor, but I'm also a comedian and I can't give you my best bits. And also besides, you're a road comedian. You can't afford me. And so when, and then Trevor goes like to share. And so when Trevor got the Daily show, the first text he sent me, I remember you in the Middle East. She told me, I can afford you now, bitch. That was his job offer. That was his job offer. It started with an HR violation. So anyway, so anyway, the reason I say I'm lucky is Trevor told me something that also stayed with me. Remember you told me if I didn't come to the U.S. i'll never have end up with you because you kept asking to come over. And then you also told me if you didn't, because my visa was three months. He told me if you had come three months before, would never have met because I was on the road. If you had come three months after, would Never have met because I was now at the Daily Show. I'm not meeting randoms at the Comedy Center. So I feel like for me everything. And it goes back to the thing I was telling you. Being born a guy in Africa, because in Africa, a girl to live a thriving law career to become. It's, it's. Everyone go like, this was a waste of.

[Trevor Noah]

Money.

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. But a guy, people go like, oh, boys will be boys. And you know, when you come from a supportive family and a tight knit family and you know, not everyone has that. And so when I, when I, when I left law to become a comedian when there's no comedy in Uganda, I remember everyone went like, oh, this guy has lost it. Because there were people who thought because I had done so well in my SATs, I was basically sponsored by the government to study a lot. And the post said, oh, people thought I was going to be that only general. And so point like, oh, he has wasted his.

[Trevor Noah]

Potential. The Attorney.

[Joseph Opio]

General. People thought I was on.

[Trevor Noah]

The. That was like your natural progression. At some point you'd be the Attorney.

[Joseph Opio]

General.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. Of.

[Joseph Opio]

Uganda. They thought that was their dream. For me, it wasn't my dream. So I remember everyone went like, oh, he has lost his mind. And the only person who understood was my mom. My mom told me, oh, you've never, you've never messed up. I don't think you're about to start. So all that like the lack of coming from people who are supportive, lack of having like tight knit family that can trust. The lack of like drawing or attracting or ending up with like very nice people in your life. People don't count those blessings. Or people don't go like, oh, not everyone has like very supportive friends or good friends or like interesting friends even. And so for me, Amoro is like to go to the question Dev was asking of being happy. I'm always like counting my blessings. I was going, oh, wow. Oh wow. Look, everything that has happened to me is way better than my like craziest dreams. It doesn't mean you stop working, but you just go like, wow, I'm really hashtag winning at.

[Trevor Noah]

Life. Joe. The luckiest man alive. This was fun.

[Joseph Opio]

Man. Also the most interesting man in the, You know, that's, that's what I.

[Trevor Noah]

Do. I do it for.

[Joseph Opio]

Myself. Yes. It's fun for you. Hang out with me for two hours and we're not watching a football game. I've never normally when I hung out with you for two hours, this some. That's how I have to brave you.

[Trevor Noah]

Some. That's how I have to drive.

[Joseph Opio]

You. Basically, I'm going like this. There has to be some reward for.

[Trevor Noah]

Me. Exactly. That's what I.

[Joseph Opio]

Mean. And then you brought, you brought Eugene. Now we are taping this.

[Eugene]

Threesome.

[Joseph Opio]

And Eugene is doing all the watching, which makes it very uncomfortable. Seated in his cock.

[Trevor Noah]

Chair. Oh, man, this was.

[Joseph Opio]

Fun. Joe, thank you. No, Trevor, it was a pleasure, man. It was a pleasure.

[Trevor Noah]

Brother. Oh, thank you, Dave, thank you very much. Thanks for being the viewers, the viewer's.

[Joseph Opio]

Voice. You know, before we go on a bit I to want. It's not about Trevor. Cuz people don't know this about. Trevor was asking me and I've seen people write about you and people don't understand people who, who haven't met you. And it goes back to the thing you're saying now, just thanking me. Trevor changed my life essentially. Right? He did change my life, you know, coming to the Daily show and I remember and he has done things for me. He's taken me to Barcelona a bunch of times, gotten me to meet like my biggest footballing heroes, taken me to two world Cups. And I remember Trevor sending a text message. I don't know. I remember, okay. I remember when he first gave me the job the first time I realized he was a nice guy. Really, When Trevor hired me. You remember text you sent me? No, he sent me a text that said, hey, Joe, it might not work out. Right. You know, you could come, go crazy or whatever. You know, you're in showbiz for the first time. You're Ugandan, you could, you know, I don't know how you. There's never been a Ugandan in showbiz. It's not your natural habitat. I don't know how you would respond. And basically when like, like, yo, if it doesn't work out, promise me we'll always be friends. Because we are friends. Before the Daily show, we shouldn't be friends post if it doesn't work out. And then I read that text message, I'm like, wow. Because you know in Africa when someone does you a favor. Yeah. They make you aware that they're doing a.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Favor. That's why we have no blood donations and.

[Joseph Opio]

Organ.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

I. You would know I was someone's.

[Joseph Opio]

Cornea.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Yes. You would know.

[Joseph Opio]

Yes. I was like, this man should be telling me, hey, if it doesn't work out, I'll never talk to you ever again. But it was okay. And then the other text you sent me this was before went to the World Cup. You went like, yo, you've enriched My life. And all this. And all this. No, no, this was after. After the World Cup, I think. I don't know. I did something. I think it was when I did the World According to Football thing. I don't know where he helped me, like, win an Emmy, essentially. But again, luck. Because remember how I came onto that.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Project?

[Joseph Opio]

Yeah. It was like, almost like, you know, it was luck. And then after, like, we do the project, we finish it, and we're like, oh, man, thank you so much. You've changed. You know, this is, you know. Right. Say the same. You know, usually, like, white driver stuff, you know. Yeah. When the white side comes out. Yes. Oh, you changed my life. Here comes the.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Whiteness. It almost feels like he writes them with a.

[Joseph Opio]

Pen. Feather. Yeah, I saw.

[Trevor Noah]

Them. You're the.

[Joseph Opio]

Governor. Yes, I write this. So he writes this, and he goes like, you've enriched my life. And I was. I wrote and I did. Went like, yo, if someone was keeping count, I'm winning way harder in this relationship than you are. You know, you're taking me to the World Cup. Done this. Done.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

This. I'm.

[Joseph Opio]

Here. Yes. No, but like, you, I've done things through you which I would never done or which are, like, beyond my craziest dreams. But Trevor will literally thank you. Even if. When it comes to the friendship, like, if you're keeping score. He's losing like crazy. I'm like 8 nil up. And he's like, oh, Joe, you've given me an amazing.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Game. It's funny because I said this the other day. I said in the. In the years that I've known. In the. Because, you know, as humans, we're trying to rack up as much karma, karmic point as possible. I said, your frequent mileage is crazy. You've racked up so much good karma your way. And it's evident people don't need to be paid to say. They.

[Joseph Opio]

Just. And without, by the way, without keeping score.

[Unidentified Female Friend]

Without. 100%. I get.

[Joseph Opio]

It. Yeah. Without. There are people who are. And I think you might be one of them. There are people. So my sister. My. My twin sister is one of them. You have a. Yeah, I have a twin. Two hours later, thankfully, though. Thankfully, though, she doesn't look. She doesn't look anything like me. Is it her talking now? I'll say a funny story about her. Funny story about her. She is. Is 15 minutes late because my mom didn't realize she had twins till when I came.

[Trevor Noah]

Out.

[Joseph Opio]

Wow. Because we didn't have, like, scans and all that back then. So she thought she just had a baby or whatever. So she goes to give birth and I come out and she goes like, thank God. And then the nurses are like, oh, sorry, blood.

[Trevor Noah]

Twist. There's another.

[Joseph Opio]

One. Yeah, there is. Yeah, another one. But like, to the point I was trying to make, my twin sister is. I know few people. It's my twin sister, my young brother. I have a very good, like, person called Sharon. They're very. They're very nice people. You know, people are genuinely nice. And Trevor, because I'm nice, but I know I'm nice. Does that make sense? I'm nice. Consciously. I go like, there's no reason to be a dick to people. And then there are people who are just nice.

[Trevor Noah]

Who.

[Joseph Opio]

If. So if my sister gives someone money and they don't bring it back and you got a kid and then they come back and then you go like, don't give them money. But that's what I'm supposed to do. She doesn't think through the act. So Trevor is the same.

[Eugene]

Way.

[Joseph Opio]

He. He will do things without. Well, other people keep going, so. Exactly. You know, get me a job. Other people go like, I'm doing you a favor. I'm doing. I'm changing your life. I'm bringing you to a medical, legal. Then for me goes like, no, man, whatever happens, let this thing not spoil the thing we.

[Trevor Noah]

Have. Very.

[Joseph Opio]

Kind. No, no, no, no, no. Like, most people don't know this about you because they read about. But no. And I think Eugene, you would agree, never keeps score, doesn't even think about it. Hey, yo, let's go to Qatar. Hey, yo, let's go to. Hey. Okay. And then he goes like, oh, thank you for. And then you're like, I should be the first.

[Trevor Noah]

One. No, I said thank you because you make this thing what it is, man. Thank you. All right, we got it, folks. Thank you. For real.

[Joseph Opio]

Man. Thank you, Joe. No, this was a pleasure.

[Trevor Noah]

Bro. Thank you, my.

[Joseph Opio]

Man. It was a.

[Trevor Noah]

Pleasure. Apple Card is designed to support your financial well being. With unlimited daily cash back on every purchase and the ability to track your spending on your iPhone, Apple Card helps you lead a healthier financial life so you can stress less about money and focus more on enjoying life. You know, it's actually fun. A lot of people ask me, trevor, what do you think about money? Or where did you learn about money? And I'll say, there are two places where I learned the most about money. Well, three, technically. The first one was my mom. My mom always used to say a very simple thing to me, she would say, do not spend money you do not have. Which I know sounds simple, but it's a lot more complicated than you think. You know, sometimes you see something, you want to buy it and you're like, I can buy it. Can I afford it? Can I not afford it? And my mom would always just go, do not spend money you do not have. The question is, how do you know when you have the money or when you don't have the money? That's where the second piece of advice came in. I was at a store and I wanted to buy an ice cream, a very expensive ice cream. It had almonds and it was covered in white chocolates. Now, I know some of you are thinking to yourself, how can an ice cream be that expensive? Look, man, at this time of my life, this was one of the most extravagant purchases a person could make. So I didn't know whether I could buy the ice cream or not. And I was with a friend and I said, I don't know if I should buy this ice cream. And he said, here's a piece of advice. If you can buy two of them and not flinch, then buy one. And I was like, damn. Changed my whole life. If you can buy two, then buy one. I bought that ice cream. I bought a few of those ice creams. Third piece of advice. The third piece of advice was the advice that my wallet gave me when I opened it and there was nothing inside of it. And my wallet looked up at me and it said, leave money inside me, Trevor. I don't like being hungry. Now you're probably thinking wallets don't talk. They do when they're left empty. As long as mine was. Don't spend what's not inside your wallet. What's that? Who am I speaking to? Oh, just generally when I talk about money, I like to imagine my financial advisor sitting next to me. It just helps me. It's probably advice I've given myself. Imagine somebody was next to you, giving you advice about your money. How would you act? Because if there was somebody there, you probably wouldn't do the same thing. So that's my advice is imagine you were with you when you were doing something. Ask yourself what you would do. You find it would be very different. You know what I mean? See, they agree. Did I misrepresent.

[Joseph Opio]

You? Oh.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay. Remember, Apple card is good for your wallet. It's designed to support your financial well being. It's a no fee credit card that lets you track your spending on your iPhone. Plus you can get unlimited daily cash back on every purchase, stress less about money and focus more on enjoying life. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone today subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 17.74% to 20% 47.99% based on creditworthiness rates as of November 1, 2025. Existing customers can view their Variable APR in the Wallet app [e-mail] Some transactions may not be displayed in Maps Terms and [e-mail]. What Now With Trevor Noah is produced by DayZero Productions in partnership with SiriusXM. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin and Jess Hackle. Rebecca Chain is our producer. Our development researcher is Marcia Robiou. Music, mixing and mastering by Hannis Brown Random other stuff by Ryan Parduth thank you so much for listening. Join me next week for another episode of what.

[Katie Nolan]

Now. Hey there, it's Katie Nolan, host of Casuals, the sports podcast where we don't care how much you know about sports, we're just happy that you're here. Every week I hang out with some of my good friends to discuss the biggest stories across sports and entertainment, but in a way that's like fun and not boring. Want to know Sue Bird's favorite Diana Taurasi story? Or how heavy the Larry o' Brien Trophy is? Or even what baseball team is right for you based on your moon sign we got you. Listen to Casuals every Tuesday and Thursday on the SiriusXM app or wherever you get your.

[Trevor Noah]

Podcasts. Bye Bubba Wallace here with Tyler Reddick. You know what's more nerve wracking.

[Joseph Opio]

Than waiting for qualifying.

[Trevor Noah]

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[Unidentified Female Friend]

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