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What the Fundraising
226: Breaking the Hustle Culture: Mindset Shifts for Sustainable Leadership with Rebecca Fitzsimmons
00:31:01
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- [00:04]
Mallory Erickson
GiveButter is a super easy to use, all in one nonprofit fundraising platform that empowers millions of change makers like you to raise more, pay less, and give better. Head to givebutter.com mallory to claim your free account today and get started in minutes.
- [00:25]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
The B word burnout is something that we don't have to get to that point ever to be able to implement these methodologies and mindset strategies to get ahead of it. And you really can't pour from an empty cup. And I think so many people, especially in like a hustle culture, we go, go, go, go, and there's just so much on our plate and we're doing all of the things and society expects so much of us that we don't take time to have that stillness and that moment of introspection and really to take care of our inner environment. Because I am a firm believer and I've seen this on a global scale. The internal work drives the external results. It's mindset first, always.
- [01:06]
Mallory Erickson
Hey, my name is Mallory and I'm obsessed with helping leaders in the nonprofit space raise money and run their organizations differently. What the fundraising is a space for real and raw conversations to both challenge and inspire you. Not too long ago, I was in your shoes, uncomfortable with fundraising and unsure of my place in this sector. It wasn't until I started to listen to other experts outside of the fundraising space that I was able to shift my mindset and ultimately shift the way I show up as a leader. This podcast is my way of blending professional and personal development so we, as a collective inside the nonprofit sector, can feel good about the work we are doing. Join me every week as I interview some of the brightest minds in the personal and professional development space to help you fundamentally change the way you lead and fundraise. I hope you enjoy this episode. So let's dive in.
- [02:00]
Unknown Host
Welcome everyone. I am so excited to be here today with Rebecca Fitzsimmons. Rebecca, welcome to what? The fundraising.
- [02:07]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Thank you so much. I am so excited to be here.
- [02:11]
Unknown Host
So let's just dive right in, tell everybody a little bit about you and your work and sort of what brings you to our conversation today.
- [02:18]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Yeah, happy to. So kind of bird's eye view of my professional trajectory. It's been pretty unconventional because I've made some pretty big changes changes over the years. So I started my career as an NCIS special agent. And for those listeners that aren't familiar with ncis, that's the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. And so I did that for about 15 years, which took me around the world, all over the United States. I had the opportunity to live and work in Europe, and it was amazing. And then a couple of years ago, I joined the corporate world, and I decided to see what the private sector was like, and I entered leadership ranks in a technology company. And then from there, I just. Over the years, almost 20 years of experience, I saw how important and instrumental and paramount leadership is in everything that you do. And I realized that not everyone had the skills or the tools or the abilities or mostly the mindset that you need to really be an effective and meaningful leader. So I opened my own business, Tactical Harmony, in which I consult and coach on all things leadership, holistic leadership, and mindset. And so Tactical Harmony was something that, if you would have asked me five years ago, I would have been like, wait, what? Me, an entrepreneur? But here I am. So, yeah, it's been a wild ride. I'm so grateful. I'm so blessed. And now it's my mission and my pledge to be able to really serve others on a global scale.
- [03:54]
Unknown Host
Ooh. Okay. Wow. You have a really interesting and amazing background. And so while I might have had a number of people who have come on the show Venn diagram of sort of, like, skills or passions, your background kind of brings this whole other exciting lens to it. So one of the reasons why I was really interested in having this conversation is sort of to unpack the way that you think about holistic leadership and just to give you a little bit of context. So I have spent my entire career in the nonprofit sector, not a sector that is sort of known for taking care of their people holistically. And like many people inside the sector, I really burnt out and ended up sort of tracing a lot of my burnout into how I was taught to fundraise. And so my book that came out earlier this year was about the ways that we're taught to fundraise. And these really transactional ways end up sealing, dysregulating our nervous system, feel bad to the funder, and then, you know, both the, like, we're losing donors who aren't wanting to be a part of that type of transactional relationship, and we're burning out as fundraisers and so really trying to think about. I feel like we often try to tackle problems, I don't know, with like, a task list or here are the five motivational statements. And we really don't talk about what gets in the way of our ability to implement those things or take the actions that we're trying to take. And that requires a level of sort of holistic analysis around like what's happening in our environment, what's happening in our body, what's happening in our brains, and then how do we design each of those for those outcomes? So I just wanted to give you a little context around that because I'd love to know sort of how you think about the interconnection of those pieces.
- [05:36]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Yeah, it's so powerful and I appreciate you sharing your journey. And the B word burnout is something that we don't have to get to that point ever to be able to implement these methodologies and mindset strategies to get ahead of it. And you really can't pour from an empty cup. And I think so many people, especially in like a hustle culture, we go, go, go, go, and there's just so much on our plate and we're doing all of the things and society expects so much of us that we don't take time to have that stillness and that moment of introspection and really to take care of our inner environment. Because I am a firm believer and I've seen this on a global scale. The internal work drives the external results. It's mindset first, always. I mean, if you look around the room, wherever you are, and whoever's listening to this, maybe the cell phone that you're listening to this on, or the, you know, the earphones that are in your ears, it was a thought in someone's mind. It was a thought in someone's mind. The genesis of something before the creation, it was a part of that creation process. So if we break things down into just any kind of problem or challenge or hurdle, even the word we use matters. Is this problem? Is it, this is the worst thing ever, the sky is falling. Or is this a character building moment? Am I going to take something from this? It's either a lesson or it's a blessing. And I'm going to get stronger, better, leaner and faster. So how the meaning. We're meaning makers. So the meaning and the focus and the energy and the emotion that we give it, and emotions are energy in motion truly matters. And so when we're looking at something holistically, and to answer your question, holistic leadership, very simply put, is the ability to influence and inspire yourself as well as others. Which means that mind, body, connection is real. I mean, how many times have we said the sentence, oh, thinking about that just makes me sick? Or if you're really nervous, maybe you get digestive upset, or, you know, for those that might live in the past, or maybe they had Something really negative or scary happened and they're thinking about it. You're dumping those bad chemicals in your body and you're feeling bad. Maybe you aren't hungry, maybe you're having sleep issues. You can't have one without the other. Right. Physical fitness, mental fitness, emotional fitness. And so really, you're implementing a no stone left unturned approach to life and to business.
- [08:03]
Unknown Host
Okay, I love everything that you just said. And I just got off a call with a coaching client as we were talking about some of these things for her. Specifically, the Nonprofit sector is 75% women identifying people in leadership roles. So that has some implications in terms of how many leaders are also, you know, caretaking or, you know, balancing a million things and a lot of different sort of simultaneous cultures of sacrifice and self sacrifice. And so hearing you say that piece around sort of like the inner world, and I could not agree more that, like, how we manage what's happening inside of us is going to be what directly affects how we act. The energy we give off, the energy we have. Like, there, it's all so connected. But I also hear from female leaders a lot that they feel selfish. Taking care of themselves or prioritizing that first is as opposed to just kind of continuing to sacrifice to their own detriment and ultimately sort of sabotaging the really, the goals they hold. So I'm curious, like, how do you coach folks through that?
- [09:07]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Yeah, that's a great question. And it's something that. It's a question that's raised to me all the time from my clients, mostly women. Right. Because you do have so many other things that you have to do. And my response to that, and words mean something. Words carry energy, words carry frequency. So I would invite them back to consider the words that they are using. Is it a sacrifice or is it something that they're doing that is self care? So they are able to be the biggest, baddest version of themselves, and they are able to give, and they're able to give more. Because if you are so focused on everything outside of you, and I can say this, guilty as charge, I've been there. I did this before I realized what I was doing. You're not going to be as effective as you would be if you took the time to meditate or go for a walk in nature or whatever that looks like for you. And another element to consider is it doesn't. Like, I encourage my clients be selfish. Like, let's flip the script. Let's reframe our mindset on what that word Means because nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so. So if we're saying selfish and it's such a bad thing, you know, and we're giving that energy, it's going to be. But if we're like, you know what I am going to give to myself? I'm going to go for the walk or take the yoga class or take the warm bath or whatever that looks like for you, which is such a personal experience. It doesn't have to be five, six, seven hours though. It could be if that's something that you need and to be able to do that and make that a micro action, make that even if it's breath work, three minutes, that's all you need and you get an instant reset. You're affecting your nervous system and you're showing up and giving that self, giving that to yourself every single day. Make it a habit, put it on your calendar, because if you have it there, you'll commit and then you're going to be able to provide that to yourself.
- [11:03]
Unknown Host
Okay, I have a question that is potentially very misguided, but I don't know a lot about what special agents do. And so, but as you're talking, I was like, oh, I bet she has a really interesting kind of mental model for prioritization based on her lived experience. Because one of the things that's like when you said that piece around being selfish, right. People who like when we're afraid of being selfish, it's because really like deep down I think we're having trouble what feels like prioritizing ourself over these other things and because I think we have this like latent belief somewhere deep down that we can have multiple priorities at the same time. Right. And that like. But you've been in a really rigorous role that probably required some like, incredible prioritization, discipline. So I'm just sort of curious how you think about that and how that relates to this sort of like holistic piece.
- [12:03]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Yeah, that's a great question. So I have a few thoughts. Well, there's a lot to discuss, but I know we don't have that much time. But I would start with, you can only assess the information that's available to you in every given moment. Right. So if I'm leading a mission or an op, and I have been obviously in a lot of life or death situations and very high risk crises, I can only assess what's going on at any given moment. And I do that holistically, right. I do as much as I can with what I'm able To do resources and all of the things. Knowing that at any moment I may have to adjust fire and pivot. I might have to go in a direction. I'm going this way, full court press. But a minute from now, I might have to turn a degree or three or whatever that looks like. And so it's really taking in what you have and making a decision and a commit. Because leaders move. When in charge, be in charge. So you have to move, which means you open yourself up to feedback. Hey, this thing I'm doing is really kicking butt and taking names. It's awesome. I'm getting what I want. Great. Or you know what? This isn't actually getting me what I want, or it's not doing it as quickly or whatever that feedback is. Maybe I need to tweak a little bit. So with that transitions me into my next point, which is really, and I think it's called the Pareto principle. You really need to look at what you're doing because you can be busy all day. We all have the same time today. We all the same currency. We all. So many people are able to accomplish a lot, and some people accomplish a little.
- [13:32]
Unknown Host
Why?
- [13:32]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Because you can be busy but not making progress. So you have to see what am I doing that's giving me the most results. Identify those 20% of things that you do. It's called the 8020 rule that give you the 80% of results. Do those things, turn up the volume, turn up the heat, do them more. Because that's what's getting you the return on whatever investment which is your time, our greatest currency that you're doing. So it's really going to be a paradigm shift, because if people are creatures of habit or no, no, no, I get up, I get up at this time. I shower, I make my coffee. I walk the dog. You can't be so rigid. You gotta kind of loosen it up a little bit or maybe set the alarm clock 10 minutes earlier. You start small, you focus on that continuous incremental improvement. That term is called kaizen in Japanese. And then you just keep at it. And over time, your results come.
- [14:24]
Unknown Host
Okay. There's so much wisdom in that whole thing. But I really want to go back to what you said at the beginning of that, around that ability to take in feedback and pivot and sort of expectation that leadership is about iteration. I feel like in the nonprofit sector in particular, because of some of the dynamics, whether it's between a board of directors and an executive director or a funder and an executive director, there's sort of so much, there's so much that nonprofits have to do to say, here's what we're going to do, here's what the outcomes are going to be, you know, here's exactly the impact we're going to make. And then they feel very beholden to these certain plans because of the ways in which they've raised money to ultimately execute those plans. And so it sort of cuts off, I think, a lot of organizations at the knees from having this more dynamic leadership that is really critical. And, and I'm not saying we should throw it all away in terms of what are the other, of course. But like, I guess I'm wondering like what recommendation if you were talking to a leader who was maybe really struggling with something like that, really struggling with iterations in the moment, especially when it felt like there were some power dynamics involved where they were kind of really struggling to maybe have to tell someone that they made that iteration or that judgment call. What would be some of your recommendations there?
- [15:54]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Yeah, I think I would really harness the power of emotional intelligence and that person's emotional toolkit because emotional intelligence or EQ is the best predictor of workplace performance. There's several studies out there that show that not saying that IQ isn't important because it certainly is, but eq. So I would, this hypothetical person, I would invite them to really kind of look at the per. This perspective they're thinking and then what would be the perspective of the person in that power dynamic or in, you know, that person that, you know, they're. They might be dreading the conversation or how are they going to react? Because the body doesn't go where the mind hasn't been. So mental rehearsal and training and getting there and keep doing it over and over again really is powerful. So why do you think they would behave in a certain way? What might be their perspective? You know, play that. Don't know that. I like this term, a devil's advocate. Like play that devil's advocate, you know, with yourself and kind of ask yourself. I, I jokingly call it interrogating yourself from my background. But really interrogate yourself. Is your way the only way? Is there another way? Is there maybe medium ground and really kind of dig in there? Because emotional intelligence, and I love to demystify, is the ability to have that self awareness and that self regulation as well as the social awareness and relationship management. That's what it is. Very simply put. And there's so much that, you know, you can unpack, but really EQ is so important because it's the foundation of relationships and to be to effectively communicate. I can say a lot and use a lot of words and it's maybe not as meaningful as if I were to be like, you know what? I really know how my boss is and I know that my boss really appreciates succinct to the point, not a lot of fluff or pleasantries. So I'm going to go in there not asking him how his dog or family or what he's doing for the holidays. I'm going to go in there and I'm going to go to the heart of the matter and then I'm going to raise the objections I think he's going to have and he's going to think, wow, how is she in my head, how does she know? But taking the time to do your homework and really rehearse that, see what it looks like, you would be surprised how many times you actually get it right. And then you posture yourself for success to be able to communicate that with whoever you're looking to talk to.
- [18:14]
Mallory Erickson
Give Butter is a super easy to use all in one nonprofit fundraising platform platform that empowers millions of change makers like you to raise more, pay less and give better. Nonprofits use GiveButter to bring together multiple categories of tools including mobile friendly donation forms, fundraising campaigns, events, auctions, email marketing, a built in CRM, and so much more. And the best part, thanks to a hundred percent transparent tip or fee model, GiveButter's core fundraising features are free no matter how many contacts you have. Head to givebutter.com mallory to sign up for your free account today and get started in minutes.
- [18:58]
Unknown Host
Okay, I love that advice and I think there's so much about we sort of like get to this point, we're just like, oh, this funder will not be okay with this. And we don't even play out the like, well what if they were? Or like what would be some of those objections that we could sort of preemptively say, hey, I know you care a lot about X, Y and Z. I know you funded this because you really want to see blank and blank. I've taken all of that into account in terms of like how we had to adjust this thing to stay aligned with your primary core goal around blank and blank, right? And then it's like, exactly, you've done so much of the legwork as opposed to. And also what I love about the way you sort of scenario that out is that it demonstrates the ways in which we can bring people along on the journey and actually really deepen connection. Like, there's so much of what you just played out. Like, I think most nonprofit leaders are. Might think, oh, my gosh, if I change a plan from a funder from something, an agreement with a funder, like, that's the end of my relationship. Like, maybe they'll make it. They'll, you know, not take the money back. But, like, you know, that's. That I'm really jeopardizing the relationship. But the way that you built that out actually, in my opinion, really strengthens a relationship. Like, it deepens connection, which I love.
- [20:16]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Yeah, absolutely. And it really is, you know, kind of the focus on the process. Right. Because we certainly care about the outcome. We have an objective. We have a mission or a vision. That's why, you know, we have agencies and nonprofits. Like, we have that end goal, but there's so many ways that we can get there. Totally, you know, leaning into that creativity and it really invites you to have that partnership. But it's me and you. Right? Like, even on my team, I say, here are some goals we have. And, you know, we. Right. It's me and you. We're going to get there. It's not just you. This is what your okrs or these are different things and goals and objectives you have. But it's we. We are going to do this together. And so it's really inviting you on. Like you said the beautiful word. It's a journey and to be so open and flexible, because when we're very rigid and we have to do things a certain way, you let yourself down, you might let others down. You don't mean to. It's not malicious, but you have to be so open and be flexible and adaptable. And I was blessed to learn this very early on in my career because rarely things go as planned. So you have to plan for contingencies, and you have to really think about all the different ways something can play out. And you just feel so much more confident. And having that energy and that application to life and business is just invaluable.
- [21:35]
Unknown Host
Yeah. I mean, gosh, it really, like, opens up. And when I think about all of that before actually just layering on another question is, like, how regulated you need to be to be able to do that. Right. Like, when we're in survival mode or are we're in sort of like lizard brain territory, that's where we get so binary. We're so like, it's either this or that. And we only have this sort of like, set and small amount of options available to Us and that openness, really. And so that just to bring it full circle to that sort of like holistic place is like really to have the skillset that you need in order to navigate complexity and, you know, ever changing data is to be able to be sort of grounded and in your body and all these things which require investment in self 1000%.
- [22:25]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
And, you know, there's so many different things that somebody can employ before a big conversation or a big brief. Right? For me, I like to get myself into a peak energy state. So I'll either, you know, jump up and down and get my lymph fluid moving. I'll do push ups, I'll do squats, I'll quickly, you know, do some incantations. Not affirmations, but incantations where it's getting it in my body and I'm programming my nervous system. Because another, and this is a whole other conversation. But your subconscious mind is always listening. It is your blueprint, it is your operating system. It has no ability to reject any words. So if you have negative self talk, beat yourself up, or you say this isn't going to work, or this guy hates me, or this girl hates me or whatever it is, it's listening, it's recording. But you have to flip that script and start to really go into that invigorating, empowering self talk and incantations and whatever it is to get yourself hyped up. Like, look at any, you know, successful person in their craft. Let's pick on an athlete. Like, you see them jumping up and down before they go on the field, or they're, whatever that is. Or like they're, you know, if they're boxing, they're getting ready. We should be no different. This is our craft. This is my playground. You know, I'm out of the stands, I'm in the playing field. This is where I go. And so whatever it is that you can get yourself in that peak state, your body's gonna, you know, behave differently. Like right now, you see me like sit up in the chair, right? I'm not slumped down talking to you with a low voice. No, I'm sitting up. I'm confident. I prep before this podcast. I do this before everything that I do. And so when you make that a habit, right? Just get that into a habit. Have that discipline which I define as the ultimate expression of self love. I love myself enough that I'm going to do this for myself. So then I'm able to give to you and your listeners, right? So it's not really like Half assing anything. It's giving it my all and whatever I can in that moment.
- [24:19]
Unknown Host
Okay, I love that you gave some like kind of pre ritual pieces there. I'm curious also, especially given your background, if you have suggestions for like after. I mean I can imagine in the work that you've done that like when you are in a situation of real survival that your nervous system does something like whether it's sort of managed for the moment. And so I'm curious, you know, of course asking somebody for money is not the same by any means as what you did, but it does activate some similar elements of the body. And so I'm curious if you have any suggestions for like kind of a like habits for ramp down or after a really activating moment that helps set the stage for you to still be able to take that action again and again.
- [25:10]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Yeah, and I think this is, it's very personal. So one slice doesn't fit all. So what my after rituals or what I might do for, you know, I think a lot of people use the term like coping mechanism can look different from person to person. But for me in particular and the way my body and brain and mind work is I need stillness. I have to shut out the world. I have to be able to close my eyes and really go in and then regulate. So that's breath work which then you know, simulates my vagus nerve, which it says, hey, relax, it's okay to calm down. Like so I, I understand the neuroscience of that. I know that when I'm priming myself, I'm calming my nerve cells. Neurons that fire together, wire together. So I can change my brain every day, multiple times a day. So I really empower myself and just kind of quiet that down. And meditation's a very good way to do that. And it's really getting beyond the analytical mind. So right now we're in beta brainwave. You go into meditation, you can go into that alpha and that theta and then delta is like sleep. So I know these things, I know that it calms me and it's instant one biohacks. I love biohacking. That I do is I go on my pulsed electromagnetic field map. If you don't have one of those, you can just put your bare feet or bare hands on the ground. So that electro activity on the earth, it helps center you. Astronauts do this to calm down. Like I think NASA did this for a while. So this is something that you can do wherever you are. Now I'm in Montana, I may not want to put my bare feet Right now on the ground as I'm looking at snow. So I go on my mat. But for me, that just grounds me, it centers me, it lets me just shut everything out. And then also PT or physical training because again, emotions are energy in motion. So you got to move that, you got to get things moving. Right. Because disease is dis ease. Things get stuck. So I like to move things. And so again, go for a walk or a run or a hike or yoga, pilates, I do whatever intuitively feels right in that moment and then I'm feeling great and I'm back in the game.
- [27:15]
Unknown Host
Okay, I love that I could ask you 45 other questions, but I'm realizing that we're, that we're out of time. Is there anything I didn't ask you that I should have asked you before we head out?
- [27:27]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Yeah. I would just say for your listeners, the benefit is really knowing what your personal mission and what your values are. Because I run everything. Like I, I know what my mission statement is. I can say that off the cuff. I know what my values are and I do everything in accordance to that. And so that really allows you to give that holistic leadership and self care, whatever that looks like for you to give back to yourself. Use a word that resonates with you. Maybe self care doesn't mean anything, but holistic leadership or holistic care does. Use the words that feel good for you, fill your cup, do things for you so then you are able to lead your life, your business, your whatever that is. Because the application of leadership does apply to all of those domains. It's not just a traditional I'm supervising people, it applies in that domain, but it applies to how we're interacting right now. So really dig in, explore your mission, explore your values. And yeah, thank you for having me. And I just am so grateful to be here with you. I really enjoyed this conversation.
- [28:25]
Unknown Host
Me too. Tell everyone where they can find you, follow you, learn more, work with you, all the things.
- [28:31]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Yes. So my business is Tactical Harmony. So my website's pretty easy. It's Tactical Harmony. Com, all of my coaching services are on there. I'm on LinkedIn and Instagram. If you look up Tactical Harmony, you find me. And very excitingly, today's a special day cuz I released my book, it went live today. Um, I'm so excited. It's called Unleashed Holistic Leadership Insights from our canine Companions. So if you are a dog lover, this one's for you. Because our four legged friends show us so many things from mind, body and spirit and so I outline all of those in my book and so yeah, I'm so excited. And thank you again for having me.
- [29:10]
Unknown Host
Oh my gosh, thank you for spending your book release day with us. That's so special. And I'm going to be buying that for my sibling right when we get off who's a dog trainer. So amazing. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited. Thank you so so much for joining me today.
- [29:27]
Rebecca Fitzsimmons
Thank you. So.
- [29:33]
Mallory Erickson
I hope today's episode inspired or challenged you to think differently. For additional takeaways, tips, show notes, and more about our amazing guest and sponsors, head on over to Malloryerickson.com backslash podcast and if you didn't know, hosting this podcast isn't the only thing I do every day. I coach, guide and help fundraisers and leaders just like you. Inside of my program, the Power Partners Formula Collective. Inside the program, I share my methods, tools and experiences that have helped me fundraise millions of dollars and feel good about myself in the process. To learn more about how I can help you, visit MalloryErickson.com PowerPartners Last but not least, if you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to encourage you to share it with a friend you know would benefit or leave a review. I'm so grateful for all of you and the good, hard work you're doing to make our world a better place. I can't wait to see you in the next episode. Fundraising doesn't have to feel like a solo battle. My book what the Embracing and Enabling the People behind the Purpose offers practical strategies and frameworks to help you navigate the challenges of fundraising with ease and impact. And with our free discussion guide, you can deepen learning and collaboration with your team or book club ready to transform the way you Fundraise. Head to MalloryErickson.combook to order your copy today anywhere books are sold and you can grab the guide there too.