239: The Power Of Connection: Creating Space For Belonging In Fundraising With Floyd Jones

Summary

Podcast Summary: What the Fundraising Episode 239 - "The Power Of Connection: Creating Space For Belonging In Fundraising With Floyd Jones"

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Introduction

In Episode 239 of What the Fundraising, host Mallory Erickson engages in a profound conversation with Floyd Jones, a renowned speaker, coach, and community builder. Joined by co-host Chad, they delve into the intricate dynamics of building genuine connections and fostering a sense of belonging within the fundraising landscape. This episode offers invaluable insights for nonprofit leaders and fundraising professionals seeking to transform their approaches and cultivate lasting relationships with their supporters.

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Defining Connection and Belonging

The conversation kicks off with an exploration of what true connection entails. Floyd Jones emphasizes the importance of authenticity in forging meaningful relationships:

Floyd Jones [04:00]: "The first word that comes to me is authenticity and creating space where my authenticity and your authenticity, my truest self and your truest self can reside and can thrive."

Jones contrasts genuine connections with transactional interactions, highlighting that the former withstand the test of time while the latter are fleeting:

Floyd Jones [04:30]: "Transactional connections... change when the weather changes, but real, deep, lasting connection, transformational connection. That's what stays the test of time."

Key Insight: Authenticity is the cornerstone of lasting connections, moving beyond mere transactions to foster genuine relationships.

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Building Connection in Fundraising

The discussion transitions to practical strategies for nonprofit organizations to build and sustain connections with their donors. Floyd introduces the concept of the "Four C's of Community Building":

1. Catalyst - Share the Spark: Initiate engagement through events like birthday fundraisers, inviting donors to participate actively.
2. Communicate - Share the Story: Convey the organization's mission and stories compellingly to resonate with donors.
3. Convert - Show the Opportunity: Offer diverse ways for donors to contribute beyond financial donations, such as volunteering or joining advisory boards.
4. Catapult - Shed the Baton: Empower donors to become ambassadors, encouraging them to spearhead campaigns and extend the organization's reach.

Floyd Jones [08:00]: "You need to build for belonging. You need to create space for them to transform, right? You need to invite them to be a volunteer... give them other ways to feel connected to who you are and who your organization is."

Key Insight: Diversifying engagement opportunities strengthens donor relationships and fosters a sense of ownership and belonging.

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Sustaining Connection Through Challenges

Chad raises a poignant question about maintaining connections during tough times, referencing Carol Robin's work on building exceptional relationships. Floyd responds by emphasizing the importance of focusing on mutual impact rather than individual gains:

Floyd Jones [05:17]: "I'm focusing on what's the mutual impact that we want to have in this world together. Because that impact, that's going to send a test of time that's going to last."

He also underscores the significance of being present and valuing the personal impact donors have on each other's lives:

Floyd Jones [06:30]: "The relationship remains strong when there's nothing else to bring to the table. Who are you? And you have nothing to bring to the table. If you still have value, that person still has value."

Key Insight: Prioritizing mutual impact and personal value sustains connections even amidst adversity.

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Navigating Personal Boundaries and Self-Connection

The conversation shifts to the interplay between personal well-being and professional relationships. Floyd advocates for self-care and alignment as foundational to authentic connection:

Floyd Jones [25:11]: "Affirmations... every morning, every night, I practice my affirmations. I pray... You gotta take care of your vessel."

Chad shares personal anecdotes about setting boundaries and maintaining self-connection, highlighting the emotional challenges fundraisers often face:

Chad [24:00]: "Our challenge is figuring out opportunity for connection, for building community, for finding the right people."

Key Insight: Personal alignment and self-care are essential for maintaining authentic and sustainable professional relationships.

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Handling Rejection and Building Resilience

Floyd provides valuable advice on dealing with rejection, a common aspect of fundraising:

Floyd Jones [22:51]: "Every no gets you closer to your yes. Every no gets you... you don't want to force something... it's about relationship."

Chad echoes the sentiment, emphasizing the importance of valuing clear communication over ambiguity:

Chad [22:57]: "No's are sacred and they are important... I love hearing no because it helps me move on."

Key Insight: Embracing rejection as a step towards genuine connections fosters resilience and opens doors to more meaningful engagements.

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Organizational Alignment and Values

Floyd discusses the critical role of organizational alignment and values in building connections:

Floyd Jones [30:10]: "If you don't know your values, your values lead you to your victory."

He shares a personal experience of enhancing the hiring process to reflect organizational values, ensuring every interaction underscores the importance of connection and mutual respect.

Key Insight: Clear organizational values and alignment are pivotal in attracting and nurturing genuine supporter relationships.

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Conclusion

Episode 239 of What the Fundraising serves as a compelling guide for nonprofit leaders aiming to redefine their fundraising strategies through authentic connections and a strong sense of belonging. Floyd Jones, with his profound insights and practical strategies, empowers listeners to move beyond transactional interactions, fostering deeper, more resilient relationships that drive sustained impact.

Notable Quotes:

• Floyd Jones [02:58]: "Your people are your power and your people are your partners, not your piggy banks."
• Floyd Jones [09:34]: "Anybody can give you a dollar, but you're looking for a believer of your organization."
• Floyd Jones [28:21]: "If you aren't the fullest version of yourself, then what version is someone connecting with?"

Additional Resources:

• Connect with Floyd Jones: Visit floydjones.co or follow him on social media at @floydjones.
• DonorPerfect Community Conference 2025: Register at donorperfect.com/donorperfect-conference.

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About the Podcast

What the Fundraising is dedicated to impact leaders and change-makers eager to revolutionize their fundraising strategies and organizational management. Hosted by Mallory Erickson, each episode features candid conversations with top personal and professional development experts, offering fresh perspectives to elevate nonprofit leadership and fundraising practices.

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Join the Conversation

If you found this summary insightful, consider subscribing to What the Fundraising for more transformative discussions. Share this episode with fellow nonprofit professionals and leave a review to support the community striving to make a difference.

Transcript

[Floyd Jones]

Foreign.

[Mallory Erickson]

Nonprofit leaders mark your calendars Join me June 3rd and 4th at the free 2025 donorperfect community conference. It is all about connection this year and you are going to learn about connection in terms of donor engagement and learn proven strategies to drive real impact. Register [e-mail] donorperfect conference. That's donorperfect.com donorperfect-conference.

[Floyd Jones]

You have to create space for transformation to take place. One of the things I was thinking about and getting ready to put into a LinkedIn post was if donate is the only thing that people can do to get involved with your organization, you're doing it wrong. If your only CTA is donate. If the only way that people can connect with you is donate, you're doing it wrong.

[Mallory Erickson]

Hey, my name is Mallory and I'm obsessed with helping leaders in the nonprofit space raise money and run their organizations differently. What the Fundraising is a space for real and raw conversations to both challenge and inspire you. Not too long ago, I was in your shoes, uncomfortable with fundraising and unsure of my place in this sector. It wasn't until I started to listen to other experts outside of the fundraising space that I was able to shift my mindset and ultimately shift the way I show up as a leader. This podcast is my way of blending professional and personal development so we, as a collective inside the nonprofit sector can feel good about the work we are doing. Join me every week as I interview some of the brightest minds in the personal and professional development space to help you fundamentally change the way you lead and fundraise. I hope you enjoy this episode, so let's dive in.

[Chad]

Welcome everyone.

[Mallory Erickson]

I am so excited to be here.

[Chad]

Today with my friend Floyd Jones. Floyd, welcome back to what the Fundraising.

[Floyd Jones]

Oh my gosh. It's the place to be. Oh my gosh, Mal, it's so good to see you, sis.

[Chad]

My favorite days are the days we get to talk. And today is also really special because we get to talk about something that is so important to both of us, which is the power of connection and how you build connection and sustain connection. Before we get into all that, tell everybody a little bit about you and what brings you to our conversation today.

[Floyd Jones]

Yes. Yes, Yes, y' all. My name is Floyd Jones. I'm a speaker, coach, and community builder. I truly believe in the power power of people. I always say your people are your power, right? Your people are your power and your people are your partners, not your piggy banks. Come on somebody. And so that's the biggest thing that I always reinforce with organizations. How do you truly partner with them so you can grow for believers. I'm also the founder of Back Black Together collectively raised over $2 million for over a thousand black led organizations. And we are just getting started.

[Chad]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mallory Erickson]

Okay.

[Chad]

Well, I'm already remembering. So I quote Floyd a few times in my book. What the fundraising. And the one thing when I was like putting your quotes into the book from past podcast episodes, I was like, I wish they could just, I could have a play button in here so they could hear him say this. Because when you say those things, I just like, feel them to my core. So before we talk about kind of like the nitty gritty around how you build connection, how do you think about connection? Like, when you feel really connected to someone, what does that, like, feel like?

[Floyd Jones]

The first word that comes to me is authenticity and creating space where my authenticity and your authenticity, my truest self and your truest self can reside and can thrive. Like that is true and lasting connection. That's the power of connection. And I think a lot of times in today's society, we think about connection in terms of, like, what's in it for me? Like, I'm only going to connect because it's a transactional connection. But we have seen over time that those transactional connections, they go like the seasons go. Okay. Like they change when the weather changes, they change when the day changes. Right? But real, deep, lasting connection, transformational connection. That's what stays the test of time, right? And I think that the thing that always comes to me when in my work and also in the organization that I work with, is how are you building for that lasting connection? Because that connection will keep you.

[Chad]

How do you think about staying in connection through hard times? Because one of the interesting things that what you said is actually really interesting. Carol Robin, who I had on the podcast, and she wrote this book or co wrote this book around building exceptional relationships and really talks about connection. And one of the key points is exactly what you said, letting yourself be fully known and creating space for the other person to be fully known, which is exactly what you said around that authenticity. Right? How do we get to show up as our true selves and make space for the other person to do so? And we know that whether that connection is like person to person or between a person in an organization, like a donor in an organization, there are going to be moments that don't go as planned or there's conflict or things are hard. How do you think about staying in connection throughout those moments?

[Floyd Jones]

That's such a good Question. The first thing that popped into my head when you asked that was, it's really hard at times to build authentic connection when you feel like the stakes are high, right? I've recently moved into and started this philanthropic endeavor with Back Black. And sometimes in transparency, it can be difficult. The most beautiful thing about starting Back Black, I would say, though, it's gotten me back in the shoes of the organizations that I serve, right? Like, it's gotten me back into the place of, oh, like, this is what it's like, right? Like, this is what it's like having to go through the things. But one of the things I always say when I'm speaking to big funders, when I'm talking to big donors, I remember I went into a call and I asked somebody for $100,000, but I was like, okay. He, hey, we have to remember that this amount is just an amount, right? Like, it's not anything beyond that. But the impact and the power of that amount is what the focus needs to be on, right? And so when I'm thinking about real connection and thinking about how do you stay connected when things are hard, I'm not focusing on what you can give me. I'm not focusing on what your donation is. I'm not focusing on what you can provide. I'm focusing on what's the mutual impact that we want to have in this world together, right? Because that impact, that's going to send a test of time that's going to last. That's what's going to remain, even in a hard time and a not hard time. And I don't know if you've seen on the news lately, Chad, but there's hard times all around, okay? Have you seen the press of eggs? Come on, somebody, right? But the power that lasts beyond those things, that's what keeps people, right? I look at our relationship, right? I'm not worried or thinking about what I can do for you or what you can do for me. I'm thinking about, hey, who are you to me? What do you mean to me? How have you impacted my life? How have I impacted your life? Right? And those are the things that keep the relationship strong, right? When there's nothing else to bring to the table, right? And that's another thing I'll say. The last thing I'll say. Cause, you know, I can go on. The last thing I'll say is, who are you? And you have nothing to bring to the table. If you still have value, that person still has value. That's when you know you've built lasting connection.

[Chad]

Yeah. You know, this is the word I don't actually use a lot and I'm not even sure how I totally feel.

[Mallory Erickson]

About it, but some of what you're.

[Chad]

Saying makes me like think about this. There's this like reciprocity of, of energy, right? Not even like, I think sometimes when we think about reciprocity, we like, it feels a little too like tit for tat for to me. But like what you're talking about is this like reciprocity of like presence and care. Things that can, we can bring even when we have nothing else to give, right? Like a little word of love, a little bit of an encouragement. Just knowing that you're safe with each other. Like those things are so valuable always.

[Floyd Jones]

Yes, yes, yes. I always say you have to create space for transformation to take place. You have to create space for transformation to take place. One of the things I was thinking about and getting ready to put into a LinkedIn post was if donate is the only thing that people can do to get involved with your organization, you're doing it wrong. If your only CTA is donate. If the only way that people can connect with you is donate, you're doing it wrong. Let me tell you why you're doing it wrong. Look at the retention rates for one time gifts. It's about 15% or less. 15% or less. That means a one time donor. The likelihood of them returning is very low. But how do you boost that retention, right? You build for belonging, right? Most people need multiple touch points before they can become a recurring giver to your organization. Before they can become and get more involved with your organization. That means you need other ways of connecting with them. You need to build for belonging. You need to create space for them to transform, right? You need to invite them to be a volunteer. You need invite them to come and look behind the scenes of your program. You need to ask them for their advice and their wisdom. So maybe a regional board position, right? Or an advisory board position, right? Give them other low level ways to get connected, right? Give them other ways to feel connected to who you are and who your organization is. That's what's going to. Because now they have an investment in it. I always say, anybody can give you a dollar, anybody can give you a dollar. Anybody can give you a quick donation, right? That's not what you're looking for though. You're not looking for a quick donation. You're looking for a believer of your organization. Because believers and your organization lead your organization to transformation.

[Chad]

Come on, somebody okay, so I love what you just said also because like a donation is not a sign of.

[Floyd Jones]

Connection, Period, Period, period. Because when I go to buy my Skittles at the store, I'm not connected to the store. I just have my Skittles.

[Chad]

Okay, totally. And there's so many reasons why that trans happens. And I think maybe we make this mistake to think that we are starting from a point of connection instead of realizing that sometimes maybe that person is deeply connected to us and that informed their gift. But I think a lot of times, especially for first time givers, like what you're talking about, they're giving that gift for a million other reasons that have.

[Floyd Jones]

So many reasons to do with a.

[Chad]

Deep connection to your organization. And then is the time to build connection, not assume, oh, there are, you know, we're already so connected to them, send an email that says, like, you know, thanks for being our best friend. And they're like this organization doing this. Right?

[Floyd Jones]

How many unsubscribes do you see from your mailing list? Right? How many unsubscribes? Because they're like, who is this again? The amount of times people will call. I don't remember who this donation was for or to write. Because they're not connected. Some of their friend asked. We saw the whole Facebook birthday movement, right? Like all the birthday things we were given because was our friend's birthday and they wanted us to give, not because we really knew who you was. You know, I'm saying that level and those days of fundraising, in my opinion, they're not gone, but they're not things going to take you to the next level. They're not really lasting. They're not what's happening right now. Because people are seeing past that. And especially right now, people want to belong to something. You know what I'm saying? They want to belong to something. And so the number one thing I would tell people is build out your donor journey now. Build out your connection journey now. Right? Like that's why if you look at any of my stuff, if you go to any of my past talks, I always talk about something called the four C's of community building. The four C's of community building. I'm just going to do a little TM because listen, it's taking the world over. The four Cs catalyst, share the spark. That's the birthday fundraiser. That's the person saying, hey, can you make a donation? But then two is communicate. How do you share the story? How do you share the story? Right? Because if you Share your story. They're going to find themselves in your story. And if they connect with your story, that's going to lead to the glory. Come on, somebody. Right, okay, then it's convert. How do you show the opportunity? And this is where I say there needs to be more than just donate, right? It can't just be donate. It should be volunteer, get your company involved, join this board, come in and see this program behind the scenes. Go on a walk with us. There needs to be different opportunities. So build that out now. Build that out now and make sure it's sustainable now. Right? And the last one is catapult. How do you shed the baton? So how do you put the baton in their hand and say, hey, it started with me, but it's going to end with we, okay? It's going to continue with we. Right? So now it's going to. You're our ambassador now. Now you're opening up the doors for us. Now your organization, you're organizing campaigns on our behalf. Right? That's how you get to that level. And so you got to build those things from the beginning.

[Chad]

Okay, this is making me play something out for the first time, and I want to know if you agree or. I'm trying to think about this connection between connection and belonging. And some of what you're talking about here is like connection being this pathway to belonging, I think, and then belonging, deepening connection. Right? Like, because their sense of belonging likely creates more openness to be seen, to have that more feeling fully seen or being fully seen and more vulnerable, reciprocal relationships. And I feel like you can start to maybe have connection points without belonging. But I don't know if I think you can have belonging without connection.

[Floyd Jones]

You can, because connection, like I said, it is the. It's the door. It's the thing that opens it up and says, okay, hi, we're going to get started, right? I have a friend. I'm like a very deep feeler, but my friend, his name is Chris, I'm gonna send this to him after it goes live. But I remember we're in a mastermind together, and we had a weekend away, like a business retreat weekend away. And I remember just seeing and feeling and sensing his energy. And I was like, I want to be your best friend. Like, I. There's something about you that I know. I want to be connected to you because you can feel that energy like you talked about. You know what I mean? But because that energy was met with light energy. And now we've created and fostered our friendship and fostered our relationship. He's someone who I consider to be one of my closest friends. Now, we only met a few months ago. You know what I mean? But you just know. And that's when you're trying to build that connection with your organization. There are people who are going to be like, oh, I saw what you posted online. Oh, I saw that story that you posted. Oh, I'm engaged with what you're doing. I'm interested in how you're showing up in the world. Right? Like, that's the connection. Right? But it's what you do behind the scenes and how you foster that and how you hold that transforms into belong, right? And that's why I always tell people that you got to think about that from the onset, right? Follow those four Cs and then also start with what you need. I always like to bring it back. Start with what you need right now, with what we're doing with back Buck. I see there are so many people coming up and like, oh, we want to help with this, and we want to help with that. And I'm like, okay, first, it starts with alignment, because period, alignment determines your assignment. I always say that alignment determines your assignment, right? And I'm like, okay, let me get aligned here. Let me focus here. What's happening here? What's happening inside, right? And then once I figure that out, I'm like, okay, now where are we going next? Right? What's being. Where are we going next with the organization? So you got to ask yourself, if you're an organization listening to this, what are the next key things that we're trying to do? What are we trying to accomplish? And who do I need to help me get there, right? And then when people show up now, you can say, oh, I actually do need you to be right here, Or I actually do need you to be in this space, right? And then also the last thing I'll say is be open, right? It's not a relationship if it's only one way. So the organization's like, okay, you can only do A, B, and C. I remember one example. I'll give, and then I'll stop talking. We had a $5,000 board give, get requirement for the organization I used to work for. I always tell the board members, $5,000. Like, in the beginning, I was like, I'm ready for the check. Like, when? Tell me when. You know, we take ach, we take ach back. And I remember one board member, he was like, okay, yeah, but I want to launch a soccer tournament. And I was like, Ooh. I was like, a check would be easier. It would be a lot easier if I started, There's a son. I don't have to get sunburned. You know, let's grass. But he was like, no. Like, we, this is going to be the way that we're going to get our employees involved and they're going to be able to be volunteers. And I was like, okay, let's, let's just try. Let's see what happens. That year, that soccer tournament raised $10,000. And then they came back again the following year and raised over $20,000. And then they came back, the following year was over $30,000. Imagine if I just said, the check is it. Maybe you're not talking about $5,000, maybe you're talking about $50. But if you're, remember what I said, all that you want, then a donation is all that you're going to get. Right? Don't block the connection. Right. Don't block the flow. Right? So that's, that's what I would say about that. You got to give. You got to. It can't be a one way street. It's about relationship. You know what I mean? You talk to your people and your people talk to you.

[Mallory Erickson]

If you are a fundraising professional or nonprofit leader, you won't want to miss the 2025 donorperfect community conference. I'm excited to be your host for this free event on June 3rd and 4th. It's all about building deeper connections with your donors, your team, and your mission. You'll learn how to create lasting donor relationships, boost your digital presence, and transform one time donors into lifelong champions of your cause. You'll walk away with practical strategies, fresh insights, and a renewed passion for your work. Join me and Register [e-mail] donorperfect conference. That's donorperfect.com donorperfect conference. I cannot wait to see you there.

[Chad]

So can I ask you a really personal question?

[Floyd Jones]

Well, I'll let you know if it's gonna make it into the podcast or not. We have to cut this one. Good.

[Chad]

I was thinking about what you said about your friend Chris, and as you were saying it, I was like, oh my gosh, Floyd, that's how everybody feels about you. You know, I'm like, people are listening to this and they're like, but, Floyd, I want to be your best friend. But I know and like, you and I have talked about this, like how sometimes overwhelming or like uncertain it can be in the world when you are visible and you are being your authentic Self, visibly, then the level of, I don't know, tenderness. It creates sometimes in time, throughout, how to connect with other people. And something I've experienced a lot recently is like, getting on calls where people feel connected to me and I don't know them yet. And I'm like, okay, how do you build connection in this type of dynamic where they're already feeling that which I love and I don't know them yet. Right. And I'm trying to figure that piece out. And I'm just curious, like, I don't know how you stay open or when you. How you think about boundaries related to. I think that's an important piece for us as, like, change makers to figure out is like, what does it take to continue to show up in our fullness?

[Floyd Jones]

And I don't know if you feel this way, but, like, I also feel like, because we show up, like, on social and all these different things, I feel like it's like sometimes people might say they have, like, constant access to us in a way. And it's like, that's something that I care about. And I'm like. I'm like, my DMs are open. Like, message me, like, let's go. But then it's also, like, understanding what I need too. And I think, and I'll say this for anybody in their organization, okay, maybe you don't have a platform, quote, unquote, like we do or whatever, but it's like you have your own platform wherever you're at. Right? And I think that it's about understanding. That's why I always go back to what's aligned. You know what I mean? Like, every single morning I wake up and I journal when the rest of the house is quiet and sleeping because I need to hear. I need to hear. You need to hear. So the path can become clear. Clear. Come on, somebody. You need to hear the path. And then that way, the people who show up, some of them could be divine blessings. I've had so many people show up and I'm like, oh, my God, where have you been all my life? I've been praying for someone like you. Thank you. And other people. I'm like, get away. Like, I don't know what to say. You know what I'm saying? But you have to allow yourself to be. Because also, it's like, someone can be connected. But I always learned that the wrong thing or the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing. The right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing. And so it could be Maybe the person is perfect, but maybe there's just not a place for them right now. And that's okay. You know what I mean? I said, okay, well let's circle back, let's. I'm good for a circle back. Okay.

[Chad]

That's such a good reminder to organizations too, I think, who are trying to create connection with their influencer, deeper connection with their constituents because they, I think sometimes we think like, oh, that person didn't want to connect with me before, you know, so they're not interested. But exactly to your point, it could have been the right thing at the wrong time. And that's why those like prompting and not hounding people, but giving people ongoing opportunities to participate in a diverse ways creates more opportunities for connection or for those to arrive at the right time too.

[Floyd Jones]

Exactly. And you don't want to force something. Like as you were talking, I was reflecting on something that we were talking about before, but, but it's like you don't want to force something. You want to try to fit something in a box that just, it wasn't created for. You know what I mean? Like, because it's not going to last, it's not going to sustain, you know what I mean? And that's why I think we see, yes, there are technical and tactical things that fundraisers and organizations need to be doing. But I also think trying to force something from a funder or forcing from a partner, that just doesn't work and isn't aligned, that doesn't serve anybody, you know what I mean? It's just taking up time. And I think that that's why, like I said, you have to get, you got to hear so the path can become clear.

[Chad]

Gosh, I had somebody like reject something of mine, a proposal of mine earlier today after some weeks of follow up and where I thought it was going in a different direction and you know, she said, you know, it's just not going to work right now. And I wrote her back and I was like, thank you so much for just like letting me know. I was like, I. The clarity is so helpful and I. So you taking the time to like fill me in on what's happening, you know, and I just think like no's are sacred and they are important and layer it. No one who is listening to this show right now has any lack of opportunity. I will just say that like, I do not believe there is a person listening to this that has a shortage of opportunity. Our challenge is figuring out opportunity for connection, for building community, for finding the right people. Like there is so much for every single person listening to this. The challenge is prioritization and clarity opens up space for that. And so I love hearing no because I'm just like, thank you so much for telling us this is not right for you right now so that I can move on from it because it's so good out of our, like, energy, our brain space, our anticipation, our anxiety, whatever, all those things.

[Mallory Erickson]

And I just.

[Chad]

I know we're so afraid of the no, but for me, I'm just like, oh, my God. I. I choose that over ambiguity every.

[Floyd Jones]

Day of the week, 100%, because then you can move on. Like you said, I love that. Don't ghost people, please, Lord. I hate ghosting. But I made a post the other day where it was like, you know, not every donor is for you. Not every partner is for you. Like, and that's okay because every no gets you closer to your yes. Every no gets you. And also a huge problem that I've seen is that you're so afraid of the no that you don't go, but if you don't go, then you'll never know. K, N, o, W, period.

[Chad]

100%.

[Floyd Jones]

You know what I'm saying?

[Chad]

So how do you. Like, you were talking about that, like, inner alignment piece and connection with ourselves as, like, some of the foundation of all of this. It's hard. Like, I'm going to share this because I. I think she'd be okay with it, but Emmy came home from school the other day, and there's this little boy. She's almost six now. There's this little boy who has a crush on her. It's school. I know. First time we've dealt with this. And. But then he, you know, he had been telling her he had a crush on her, and then he one day decided he didn't have a crush on her anymore, and he told her that. And so she came home really sad. And I said, well, do you have a crush on him? And she said, no. And so at first, my first reaction was like. Like, then why do you care about him having a crush on you? But what I actually said to her was, it still makes sense to feel sad about that, because sometimes when we feel like somebody made us feel a certain way and then took it away or, you know, we feel like they don't like us anymore, it can hurt our feelings. Even if we don't like them that same way, it still hurts when it feels like that is sort of taken away. And so it makes sense that you feel that way. And I just like, you know, to that point about, like, okay, so we are going to hear rejection. We are going to get ghosted. We are going to be. I think a lot of times as fundraisers, we feel like we are just putting ourselves out there over and over again. And they're just these waves of impact coming back on us emotionally. How do you, like, stay in your center or stay in that alignment connected to self in all that.

[Floyd Jones]

Oh, that's so good. Affirmations. I do a lot of affirmations. That's been so helpful for me because we have so many of these limiting beliefs that have been literally written into our bodies, written into our nervous systems. And so every morning, every night, I practice my affirmations. I pray. I. One thing I've been really leaning on is sleeping and just making sure I sleep. You know what I'm saying? Before you be, oh, I'm Superman, but I'm not Superman. And I'm going to bed and I'm going to drink my water and mind my business, you see? Okay, I'm gonna drink my water and mind my business. But you gotta take care of your vessel. You gotta take care of the. And I know we always say that, but this year I actually started cutting out sugar. I started, you know, cutting out bread. I, like, stopped drinking alcohol. I just, like, was like, this is what I need for me to make sure that I am my fullest self. Because I've gotten mal. I've gotten so clear on why I am here. Like, I've gotten so clear on, like, what I know I'm supposed to do. It doesn't make it easier. Like, there are so many different things that make it harder. But I would say that with that clarity, now comes responsibility. Because I feel like if you have an organization, if you have anything, you are now a facilitator. Like, your job is to facilitate this thing into being right. Like, life has called on you to make this impact. Life has called on you to eradicate this issue. Life has called on you to be this life. If life is calling on you, are you going to answer? Are you going to answer? Are you going to keep putting it to voicemail? Are you going to keep saying, I will call me back later? You know what I'm saying? No, I decided that I'm going to answer the call on my life. And with that means I have to take care of my life, you know what I'm saying? So that has put a whole different perspective on things for me.

[Chad]

Okay, that's so good. And I'm not as Good about sleep. I'm like, oh yeah, have babies.

[Floyd Jones]

But you know, true, I'm not there in la, so.

[Chad]

But like I stopped drinking alcohol. I'm almost at my year mark and I had sort of a similar experience. I didn't have an issue with alcohol at all, but I started to, I think understand what my best self felt like.

[Floyd Jones]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Chad]

And I started to know that person and appreciate that person and want to be that person and. And then what I found was that the day after even having a few sips of wine, I wasn't completely that person. Something about and same thing, I mean I don't, I have an autoimmune disease, so there's all these things I can't eat anyways. But like same thing with like keeping up with that stuff and that's all piece like there are plenty of things I don't do that I quote unquote should be doing in terms of, you know, exercise and sleep and stuff like that. I'm always working to improve. But I do think like there is this piece of like self knowing and apprehension and self appreciation initiation helps us find our non negotiables around what. And for some people, like for Ryan, for my husband, it's exercise, right? Like I am just not the same person if I am not working out and doing this type of work. And so we all have to find whatever those things are for us. But Right, right, right, your list. Because I think it's such an important part of this process.

[Floyd Jones]

And also the thing that kept coming to my head was if you aren't the fullest version of yourself, then what version is someone connecting with? Like we're talking all about connection, but if you aren't you, who am I getting when I'm trying to connect? You know what I mean? And we wonder why certain things aren't in alignment. And I'm like, well, you aren't in alignment. So who, who are they trying to connect with? You know what I'm saying?

[Chad]

Totally.

[Floyd Jones]

So when you talked about knowing and feeling your like your best, I'm like, oh, that's so good because of the work that we're trying to do. We can't, we can't authent connect if we're not authentically connected to ourselves.

[Chad]

And maybe that is, you know, like why it's so interesting because I think about that and 10, 15 years ago, like I was not connected to myself, right? I was sort of like this shell.

[Floyd Jones]

Of my always playing catch up, always playing catch up.

[Chad]

And I think deeply desiring Connection, but not realizing that that lived inside of me.

[Floyd Jones]

Come on. It lives in me. Yeah, yeah. It lives me. Come on, now. Yes.

[Chad]

And I think we look, you know, when we hear words like connection, belonging, we see them, we think outside of us. Right? We're like, connection lives outside of me in relationship to another person. And it's not that it doesn't in some ways, but it can't start there. Like, yes, there's nothing to connect to then. Exactly. That's such an important point, I think, for an individual and an organization. If you want to build an organization that connects with your people, you have to know who you are as an organization, what you stand for, how you show up, how you do things. Because otherwise, who are they connecting with?

[Floyd Jones]

A word. A word. You know, the other day I. We're hiring right now at Back Black. And I was going through the hiring process, and I just was realizing someone sent me the most beautiful note. We ended up not hiring them, but they sent me the most beautiful note saying, thank you for this experience. Like, I learned so much about myself throughout this hiring, this hiring process. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, that's my only wish. Like, I want to care for somebody from start to finish. I'm like, even if you don't end up working here, I want to make sure that you know that your contribution was valued. Like, I don't even offer. We only offer paid tests. Like, if you make it to the round where we. Where you're doing a test, you're being paid for your time. I'm actually going to read and review every single aspect of it and point out the things that were good, point out the things that I feel like weren't aligned. I'm going to communicate with you from start to finish. You know what I mean? And then I was like, oh, now I know my hiring values. And I started making a list of. Here are the things that we value in our organization when we hire. You know what I mean? I'm like, no one is ghosted. Everyone will get a response. You know what I mean? There's little things throughout that show the dynamic of your company and show the dynamic of your organization. Like, all those things really, really matter. And it has to be an overflow from the top. And if you're. If the top of the organization isn't together, because, child, we know. We all been there sometimes. What are your personal values? Because you can dictate how you show up. You can dictate how you show up. I've been in many a work environment where I didn't agree with everything else going on, but I knew who I was and I knew how I was going to show up. You know what I'm saying? And so if you don't know your values, your values lead you to your victory. Oh my God.

[Chad]

We just need like a quote Rolodex or something. The show notes for this should just be all Floyd quotes, like all Floydisms and it's just like list all the Floydisms.

[Floyd Jones]

Okay, come on.

[Chad]

This is just a little teaser because you're going to be talking all about connection at the Donor Perfect Community Conference, which I have so excited the first week of June and so I'm so thrilled that we get to dive into this again together there. Thank you so much for all your time, your wisdom. Tell folks where they can go to connect with you. We'll make sure the Donor Perfect signup link is in the show notes too so you can come to our next hang and be there with us live. But yeah, tell them where they can go to connect with you.

[Floyd Jones]

Yes, let's go to Floyd Jones co floydjones co. Or you can find me on all the socials at the Floyd Jones. There you'll find all the info about Back Black, my coaching, speaking, all the things amazing.

[Chad]

Thank you so much my friend.

[Floyd Jones]

Thank you so much, Mal.

[Mallory Erickson]

I hope today's episode inspired or challenged you to think differently. For additional takeaways, tips, show notes and more about our amazing guest and sponsors, head on over to Mallory Erickson.com podcast and if you didn't know, hosting this podcast isn't the only thing I do every day. I coach, guide and help fundraisers and leaders just like you. Inside of my program, the Power Partners Formula Collective. Inside the program, I share my methods, tools and experiences that have helped me fundraise millions of dollars and feel good about myself in the process. To learn more about how I can help you this visit Malloryerickson.com PowerPartners last but not least, if you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to encourage you to share it with a friend you know would benefit or leave a review. I'm so grateful for all of you and the good hard work you're doing to make our world a better place. I can't wait to see you in the next episode. Fundraising doesn't have to Feel like a Solo battle. My book what the Fundraising Embracing and Enabling the People behind the Purpose offers practical strategies and frameworks to help you navigate the challenges of fundraising with ease and impact. And with our free discussion guide, you can deepen learning and collaboration with your team or book club ready to transform the way you Fundraise? Head to MalloryErickson.combook to order your copy today anywhere books are sold and you can grab the guide there too.