Podcast Summary: What the Fundraising

Episode 266: From Insight to Impact: Nurturing Donor Relationships with Tyler Mallory
Host: Mallory Erickson
Guest: Tyler Mallory (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Major Gifts)
Release Date: October 29, 2025
Duration: Approx. 26 minutes

Episode Overview

This episode dives into the evolving landscape of donor engagement and fundraising, with a special focus on the balance between technological tools (especially AI) and authentic, human-centered relationship building. Mallory Erickson and Tyler Mallory discuss why alignment, curiosity, and genuine connection are more vital than ever in an increasingly data-driven world, and how fundraisers can nurture real relationships for sustained impact.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tyler’s Background and Path to Fundraising

[02:26]

• Tyler shares his unconventional journey from business development in healthcare to executive director in nonprofits, ultimately landing in higher education major gift fundraising.
• Emphasizes the common "accidental" path many take into the fundraising space.

2. The Rise of AI and the Need for True Alignment

[00:38], [04:40]

• Tyler acknowledges AI as a powerful tool for data analysis and prep, but warns against overreliance.
  • Quote:

    "At some point, you just gotta pick the phone up because the data may not actually tell the true story." (Tyler Mallory, [00:38]; echoed [04:40])

• Alignment isn’t just about what donors supported in the past; it now requires meeting them where they are, recognizing their evolving interests.

3. Shifting Donor Priorities and Institutional Flexibility

[04:40]

• There's a shift towards more cause-based giving, even within traditional institutions.
• Fundraisers must be genuinely inquisitive and flexible—willing to step back, listen, and be open-handed in matching donors to the right opportunities.

4. The Limits of Data & the Essential Human Element

[07:29], [09:22]

• Donor motivations are complex and can't be predicted solely by data or AI.
  • Quote:

    "If we’re genuinely inquisitive, genuinely curious…and open handed on our end… that curiosity and open handedness seems to be where a lot of the traction is being gained…" (Tyler Mallory, [04:40])

• Discusses the “toddler method”—asking “why” repeatedly (gently) to uncover true motivations.

5. Relationship Building: Long-Term View & Genuine Care

[09:22]

• Tyler explains the importance of playing the long game, citing multi-year journeys from small to transformational gifts.
• Tells a story: a major donor initially uninterested in athletics ultimately made a $100M gift after years of genuine, agenda-free relationship building.
  • Quote:

    "I really believe that the real magic happens when we actually truly care about people and...try to discover, like what, like why... AI can't do that." (Tyler Mallory, [09:22])

6. Reframing Fundraiser Mindset: Flexibility & Authenticity

[13:56], [16:15]

• Discusses the necessity for both institutional and personal flexibility.
• Alignment as an intention, not just a tactic—sometimes true alignment means walking away.
  • Quote:

    "You know you’re fundraising in an alignment-first way when you’re actually letting donors go or walking away from people... because that’s a sign you’re actually really looking for alignment..." (Mallory Erickson, [13:56])

• True curiosity and care are innate; coaching is often about stripping away barriers (fear, scarcity, self-doubt), not just skill-building.

7. The Venn Diagram of Donor, Institution, and Self

[16:15]

• Tyler visualizes fundraising as a three-way Venn diagram:
  • The fundraiser’s own motivations
  • Institutional priorities
  • Donor interests
• The best results come when the focus is entirely on the donor’s alignment, not on the fundraiser’s metrics or ego.
  • Quote:

    "The best way for Tyler to help hit that bullseye is for none of it to be about Tyler." (Tyler Mallory, [16:15])

8. Handling Fear, Metrics, and the Unknown

[17:41], [18:54], [21:01]

• Mallory acknowledges fundraisers' common fears (rejection, saying the wrong thing, numbers pressure).
• Shifting mindset: Rejections are not the end; every “no” is just part of a longer journey or opens the door for new donor relationships.
• Nurture genuine connection first; skill and pitch matter but are secondary to authenticity.

9. AI’s Role in Sustaining Relationships and the Long Game

[23:06]

• AI and data are valuable for tracking conversations and interests over time, ensuring that future fundraisers can pick up where others left off.
  • Quote:

    "I might engage with someone genuinely and… they just might not be ready...I trust that...my peers, our institution will do what it’s supposed to do and re-engage this person at a different time." (Tyler Mallory, [23:06])

10. Practical Encouragements and Takeaways

[24:29], [25:09]

• Trust the process, take the long view, and focus on the other person.
• Even if organizational realities (like metrics) loom large, centering authentic curiosity and alignment is the path to sustainable, meaningful fundraising.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On AI as a tool:

  "But at some point you just gotta pick the phone up because the data may not actually tell the true story."
  — Tyler Mallory ([00:38])

• On the “toddler method” for donor discovery:

  "You just keep asking, why?... Now you would probably do it a little bit more gingerly than that, but...something truly gets unlocked."
  — Tyler Mallory ([09:22])

• On flexibility and intentionality:

  "Alignment can't just be your fundraising strategy, it has to be...your true intention..."
  — Mallory Erickson ([13:56])

• On mindset:

  "The best way for Tyler to help hit that bullseye is for none of it to be about Tyler."
  — Tyler Mallory ([16:15])

• On fear and control:

  "Trying to control exactly how much this person gives by the end...that’s actually your fear...But if you can shift...it just can completely...regulate your nervous system..."
  — Mallory Erickson ([21:01])

• On playing the long game:

  "A closed door isn't always a closed door...if we are engaging people, not because my training told me to do so...but...in a caring way...let that be the tip of the spear."
  — Tyler Mallory ([18:54])

Important Timestamps

• [00:38] — Opening thoughts on AI and the importance of picking up the phone
• [02:26] — Tyler Mallory’s career background
• [04:40] — Deep dive into alignment, AI, and flexibility in donor engagement
• [09:22] — The “toddler method” and the story of a transformational gift
• [13:56] — Discussion on intention, authenticity, and letting go
• [16:15] — The donor-institution-fundraiser Venn diagram
• [21:01] — On fear, metrics, and reframing control
• [23:06] — Trusting AI and systems for long-term donor stewardship
• [25:09] — How to contact Tyler and final thoughts

Connect with the Guest

• Email: tylermallorymail.com
• LinkedIn: Tyler Mallory

Final Takeaways

• Use AI and data as tools, not crutches.
• The heart of fundraising remains genuine human connection, built on curiosity, flexibility, and authentic alignment.
• Long-term impact grows from relationships, not transactions.
• Practice, presence, and authentic intention are invaluable for fundraisers navigating data-rich, high-pressure environments.