What the Fundraising, Episode 287: "The Fundraising Reset: Patience, Gratitude, and Real Connection"

Host: Mallory Erickson
Guest: Trevor Nelson, Chief Gratitude Officer at HGA Fundraising
Date: March 17, 2026
Duration: ~25 minutes

Episode Overview

This episode centers on reimagining fundraising as a deeply human, relational practice, especially in the face of technology overload and relentless urgency in the nonprofit sector. Trevor Nelson joins Mallory Erickson for an honest, heartfelt conversation on the necessity of patience, gratitude, and real connection—in our organizations, with our donors, and within ourselves. Their discussion is a call for fundraisers (and leaders) to refocus on what truly matters: authentic relationships, emotional courage, and valuing the slow, intentional growth that healthy impact requires.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The True Essence of Fundraising: It’s About People

• Relationships over Technology (00:25, 05:01)

  • Trevor emphasizes that despite the proliferation of technology and AI tools in fundraising, "Fundraising is a relationships business."
  • Technology should make more space for human connection, not replace it. The most powerful tool? “Your phone. The most impactful thing that you can do, folks that support your organization, your donors, is pick up the phone and call them.” – Trevor Nelson (00:25)
  • Even with access to the "inventor of fundraising AI," Trevor reminds listeners: “It’s people. People give to people they like.” (05:01, 06:23)

• Combatting Overstimulation (07:11)

  • Mallory shares how an overload of information (AI, spam, social media) can disconnect us from what truly matters.
  • She urges listeners to “put your hand on your heart and say, ‘this is important.’” (07:11)
  • The heart of fundraising is “the coming back into relationship and ensuring that we have the capacity for that real connection.” – Mallory Erickson

2. Navigating Overwhelm & Uncertainty

• Shared Experience of Overwhelm (08:38)

  • Trevor gets candid: “I'm going through this myself…really, really trying to be deliberate about protecting my time, my sanity...” (08:38)
  • He stresses the importance of self-compassion and identifying what to focus on, amidst chaos and distraction.

• The ‘Just Tell Me What To Do’ Trap (09:33)

  • Mallory observes that when fundraisers are overwhelmed, they crave step-by-step answers, rooted in nervous system dysregulation: “Your desperation for someone to tell you what to do is coming from dysregulation... you do know what to do, but accessing it... is so hard.” (09:33)
  • She normalizes feeling lost and emphasizes nervous system regulation as a real, practical need.

3. The Radical Power of Patience

• Patience as a Superpower (10:34, 12:03)

  • Trevor shares his own journey: “No one ever said, I wish I was less patient with myself.” (10:34)
  • The ‘overnight success’ myth is dispelled: “Overnight successes take 10 years. You're not going to become a world class fundraiser overnight. Neither am I going to build a giant business overnight.” (11:52)
  • Both Trevor and Mallory reflect on their impatience and how it relates to personal growth—as parents, leaders, and fundraisers.

• Letting Go of Unnecessary Urgency (13:14)

  • Mallory’s story about parenting illustrates that impatience is often misplaced: “Do I actually want [my daughter] to grow up faster? Of course not.” (13:14)
  • They agree that savoring growth and being intentional is far more meaningful and sustainable.

4. Rethinking Growth and Self-Talk

• Renaissance of Wellness (15:43, 17:18)

  • Trevor’s hopeful prediction: "There's going to be a renaissance," a renewed focus on mental health, intentional habits, and tech-free time.
  • Urges listeners to revisit the basics: “Put it on your calendar, go for a walk, write things down, spend 15 minutes by yourself.” (16:18)

• The Volume of Positive Self-Talk (17:46)

  • Mallory: “Think about how many negative things you say to yourself every day... you need to like triple that with the positive things.” (17:46)
  • Repetition is key—one positive thought is outweighed by a cascade of negative ones. You must consciously and repeatedly reframe.

5. Practicing and Expressing Gratitude

• No News is Not Good News (18:52–21:46)

  • Trevor reflects on how easy it is to neglect expressing gratitude: “I call it no news is good news… but actually, no news is not good news.”
  • In both personal and fundraising settings, don’t assume people know you’re grateful.
  • Most powerful fundraising action? “Just pick up the phone and say thank you. Let's start there.” (21:46)

• Vulnerability and Emotional Depth (21:46–24:19)

  • Trevor opens up about his own hesitancy and emotional growth: “I've motivated myself with negative self-talk… sometimes when I really want to express my most gratitude, I'd be afraid to do it because I thought I'd break down.”
  • Mallory affirms the value in emotional openness, especially in a sector where tenderness is often undervalued: “We have this myth that we're all going to fall apart if we let ourselves feel. And actually it's the exact opposite. Letting ourselves feel allows us to move through things instead of be trapped inside of them.” (23:30)
  • She shares advice from a mentor: “I love that I can access my emotions this deeply, so quickly. And it totally changed things for me.” (22:41)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Fundraising is a relationships business… The technology exists so we can focus on people. The most powerful fundraising tool that you have is your phone.”
— Trevor Nelson (00:25)

“In the world of overstimulation…our job is to sort of pull your hand back, put it on your heart and say, ‘this is important.’”
— Mallory Erickson (07:11)

“Be patient with yourself… Overnights take 10 years.”
— Trevor Nelson (12:03)

“Savoring growth and slower growth… we get to enjoy the moment so much more, but we also get to be much more intentional and conscious around how we are growing.”
— Mallory Erickson (14:57)

“No news is not good news… If someone's given to your organization and you pick up the phone and you don't know what to say, say thank you. Let's start there.”
— Trevor Nelson (21:46)

“We have this myth that we're all going to fall apart if we let ourselves feel. And actually it's the exact opposite… Letting ourselves feel allows us to move through things.”
— Mallory Erickson (23:30)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:25 — Relationships, technology, and the human core of fundraising (Trevor)
• 07:11 — Mallory on overstimulation and reconnecting with what’s important
• 10:34 — Trevor on patience: personal and professional anecdotes
• 13:14 — Why rushing is often misguided; Mallory’s parenting moment
• 16:18 — Building and maintaining intentional habits; the renaissance of mindfulness
• 17:46 — The importance of positive self-talk (Mallory)
• 18:52 — Expressing gratitude as an ongoing, not one-time, practice (Trevor)
• 21:46 — The power of vulnerability and saying “thank you” in all relationships
• 23:30 — The myth of emotional fragility; how feeling deeply builds resilience (Mallory)

Connect with Trevor Nelson

• LinkedIn: Trevor Nelson
• Email: trevorjfundraising.com
• Podcast/Media: Hey Nonprofits – available on all major platforms

Tone & Style

This episode is imbued with warmth, candor, and mutual respect—full of personal anecdotes, vulnerability, and hope. The conversation is honest, sometimes humorous, and always grounded in the real challenges—and joys—of nonprofit leadership and fundraising.

Key Takeaways for Listeners

• Relationships are the core of successful fundraising. Prioritize connection over tools.
• Overwhelm and impatience are normal, but can be managed with intentional reflection and self-compassion.
• Positive self-talk must outweigh the negativity in our minds. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
• Express gratitude regularly—to others and to yourself. Don’t assume it’s understood.
• Emotional openness is a strength, not a liability. Let yourself—and your team—feel.

Listeners are left with a strong reminder: In a world of constant distraction and relentless urgency, it’s showing up with curiosity, patience, and heartfelt gratitude that truly moves missions forward.